Many people have not yet achieved the success they desire because they have not yet been willing to pay the costs of winning. One of these costs is surrendering the privilege of losing. This may sound counterintuitive at first blush -- "privilege" is good, "losing" is bad -- but it turns out that there are many benefits to losing that people are loath to forgo. I discuss a number of these privileges in this episode. Buy my book, "The Value of Others" Ebook: amzn.to/460uGrA Audiobook: amzn.to/3YfFwbx Paperback: amzn.to/3xQuIFK Book a paid consultation: oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Subscribe to my newsletter: oriontarabanpsyd.com Social Media TikTok: www.tiktok.com/@oriontaraban Facebook: facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: ua-cam.com/video/WrXBzQ2HDEQ/v-deo.html Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: ua-cam.com/channels/SduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw.htmljoin Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #success #win
Would you do a video on why the majority of divorces are initiated by women and why the majority of those seem to be over nothing? Why are men frequently blind-sided? Why are women so frequently willing to see therapists or problem solve?
I lost a significant amount of weight and some of my closest friends told me I needed to start 'humbling myself.' Let me explain something...I humbled myself plenty while I was laying around in my own misery and filth. But then I spent the last 4 years in the gym. 4AM, snow, rain, 6 days a week...I lost over 200 lbs and I don't need to humble myself to anyone.
You lost twice. Once control over your life and now an addiction. Double losing cancels itself out hence you are the winner as destined! Cheers and enjoy your life!
When you succeed it's amazing how many people who "Are so happy for you" slowly ghost you. They really just wanted someone to wallow in their misery with them to make them feel better about being mediocre. So pathetic.
Even better is seeing the people who were previously telling you to 'pull yourself up by your bootstraps' and 'nobody owes you anything' now showing up with their hands out, and listening to them now proclaim that 'life is about helping others'.
Yes, that's why winners should try to forge relationships with other winners. Losers are always resentful of winners, even when they know you and are your "friends".
Yes, work towards your success in private because a lot of people who wanna win, but can't will talk you out of working towards your goals. Let your success do the talking rather than your aspirations :)
Another point: we're accustomed to losing. We're used to it. It's familiar. Winning is unexplored territory and therefore scary. We don't know what might happen. Referencing some of Orion's early themes, men want peace in relationships; we don't like drama. The prospect of winning has the possibility (probability) to upset a lot of apple carts.
As a Vikings fan, thanks for helping reestablish my faith in this season. No, we won’t be close to a playoff team, but I think Sam Darnold will continue to prove he is worthy of a starting role somewhere in this league
This is so true. Misery likes company is something I see around me very often. There are more people who want to see you fail and stay at their level than push the boundaries and leave your level and be better than you. All the false reassurances and wishes disappear very quickly as they see you doing much better than them and achieving success at levels that others are deluding themselves that they can. I am at a point in my life where I have an opportunity to leave my comfort zone and test the boundaries, but the familiarity of my environment is what was making me hesitate. This video is what I needed, and now I feel more confident to not feel worried about leaving the "misery company" and push the boundaries and create the change that I have been dreaming of. Thank you for this video.
My family is financially well of. I am currently restoring a classical mansion. Today I told my coworker about my passion project and how much I love doing it. I think they hate me now. Reactions were very bitter. This video came at the right time.
I've learned that EVERYTHING is meant for my learning..... To hold everything with open hands and look for the lessons. For they will help me grow and to be at peace.
I didn't become financially independent until I was in my late 40's, and I'm still in my 40's. In addition to having purchased my second home and earning money on a monthly basis through passive income, I've also achieved three out of five goals. I just hope this inspires someone to realize that it doesn't matter if you don't have any of these things yet, you can start today no matter your age. Change your future by investing! I made a rather big decision by investing in the financial market
A huge huge reason for pursuing the win for me is to shake hands with those that have won before and I have always admired, and help out those upcoming. I have zero desire for the sympathy of the other losers. When I lose, I go back to my cave to figure things out, which includes studying myself, and study the previous winners, and that's how I enjoy the part of losing. The farther away the other losers stay from me the better.
Of the seven deadly sins, envy is the 2nd most common after pride these days. It's what prevents a lot of people from making friends and meaningful connections. People these days envy you for anything basically; even for the smallest of successes.
I just wanted to leave a comment to say that out of 209 reviews on Amazon Orion's book has zero one-star reviews, 02 star reviews, and only two three star reviews. That is a very impressive achievement
Great video. I never really thought of things in this way. But it sure does explain why so many times once you achieve that pinnacle of success it usually ends up feeling very empty.
Every single video I've watched insanely mind changing. All suffers I've suffered before and can't identify the reasons or the main cause of it, Dr. Orien EXPLAIN IT IN AN EASY WAY I do appreciate it
I had a “friend” tell me, don’t forget where you came from. That was a weird moment bc in my head, my parents are immigrants and although I had enough growing up, I did not have a silver spoon in my mouth. So in a sense he was kind of right. I will never forget so I can continue succeeding.
I grew up somewhat poor. And been blue collar most of my life but I am now financially sound for better words. I often say that money is alienating. I have some major health issues and can be quite intense in my thinking also, a product of said status to a degree. I definitely can’t sit at that bar and discuss issues like the old days. It negates it just by having a nice car in the parking lot. Crude example but very valid. No one cares about your problems if you drive a McLaren, even if the main reason you bought it is because you might not live that long! 🤷♂️
Vertiginous - I had to look that word up! Causing vertigo, especially by being extremely high or steep. "Vertiginous drops to the valleys below" Relating to or affected by vertigo.
Just finished reading the "the value of others" and holy shit is my mind blown, I am simultaneously excited by my new found understanding of how relationships operate and disappointed by modernity killing lifelong monogamy in favor of cheaper ,more convenient and self gratifying alternatives, nevertheless if its the way things are now then it is what it is. thank you for being as objective as possible.
find book Unveiling Your Hidden Potential by Bruce Thornwood. Whoever finds this book will have unfair adventage over other people. You'll thank me later
The challenge of living these amazing lives we live is as real as we care to make it: juggle goodness, power, virtue, success, happiness, and fulfillment to the very end, and you've won! Yay! Now, let me see, am I going to play finite games or am I going to opt into playing the infinite game? Great video, by the way. It's packed with more food for thought than I know what to do with! Burp! I think I've got indigestion, and I mean that in the best way possible! I also just finished reading Chapter 6 from The Value of Others. Highly recommend! 🙂
This is a great topic. It explains so much of what we see today in society, politics and even healthcare. Today’s society vilifies winners and glorifies losers. I’ve noticed in my lifetime a shift from rewarding winners to punishing them. Losers are automatically seen as virtuous victims now. In healthcare, there is an enormous amount of secondary gain by being “unwell”. Some people have a very hard time letting go of that secondary gain to be ostensibly healthy.
Great video. I never really thought of things in this way. But it sure does explain why so many times once you achieve that pinnacle of success it usually ends up feeling very empty. It also explains why happiness is so often the greatest in striving for a goal and not in the achievement of said goal.
Chief, here’s an analogy. Suppose you’re gifted with it takes you one punch to kill a man. You could become the greatest boxer known to man but at what cost? A life outlook simplified to winning and losing is often practical and quintessential western but may not work longterm. Godbless
Very insightful episode this one was, great work 👏 Fear of success is a real thing, stepping out of failure and into winning will force you outgrow out of those sympathy relationships. Self-sabotage will keep happening until you are willing to step out of those relationships that serve only to coddle you in your failures.
Orion touched on this, but it should be emphasized how different the culture of wealthy, successful people is from middle-class or working-class life. Success affects your attitude toward money, of course, but also toward things like time and even food. Friends don't necessarily adapt; soon, you're in a different social world, and there's not much you can do to stop it.
Kindly Make more videos on true cost of winning. Your last video helped me in solving a problem that has kept me stuck for 4 years, i could afford paying the cost of winning but didnt know paying that much would would increase my chances. The true cost of things are not announced in life
I compare my life to what it would have been if I'd been born 100 years or more ago or born yesterday at the bottom of the social ladder in a desperate country. In that context I'm winning every day. This requires regular reminding but it's worth it. In celebration I think I'll take another hot shower even tho I certainly don't need it.
Orion, thank you a lot for this video! It's the great reminder for me, that having left my home country almost 15 years ago and being for the majority of this time on my own, overcoming all obstacles and still fighting on, I wasn't "motivated" because loosing wasn't the option. Or, with simple words, to succeed meant/means to survive. I doubt that it's a healthy attitude to face many external and internal challenges for any person by any stretch of imagination, since it's presumes to live in "primal/survival" mode as default mindset/state of the subconscious mind. And still, quoting your videos and the book I'm reading currently - "Considered all other things being equal, it is what it is..."
Yes, winning leaves nowhere to hide. That's a lot of responsibility. Moving forward requires discipline. Winning may also result in a loss of interest in the activity. This indicates a lifestyle containing some element of service as the most fulfilling, not centered on personal gratification alone.
If I set my goal on the impossible, but with measurable progress, then my whole life is a Unity. Without having to reorient around temporary and divergent pursuits. The whole process of life can be integrated. Materialism functions generally upon one-object-after-another. With no genuine promises. Begging the inquiry, regarding the achievement of Knowledge over Objects, Information Consumption, and Social Status.
Great analysis! However, I must beg to differ on this. Successful people no matter how good they are, they could have a bad day, an injury, a mental issue etc. and regular people will be there to support them, sometimes with even more fervour than usual. On the contrary I heard many times than losers deserve their fate, for not trying, etc. Plus your observation that misery is universal further proves this argument.
This is why winning through sheer luck is not success. The leader takes the brunt of the attack, a kings chair is not as comfortable as it may seem. I know from experience and I was not ready for the attacks to return once I'd saved the day. Stay prepared, but not cynical.
This makes sense. I have a hard time feeling sorry for Lady Gaga when she complains about the bullying she dealt with in the past, however I'm cognizant of my jealousy of her. I realize that because I wish I had made it like she did I feel like get over it girl, you're where I wish I was. I'd feel okay if I was famous and made all the money you did. Although I realize that that may not be true that may not be how I feel if I was her. As soon as I say this, I'm actually succeeding and creating a completely different business unrelated to music, I am the underdog my family because I'm the only one who's mixed black. None of them feel sorry for me due to all the races and I dealt with in the family, and I think part of that is the fact that I ended up becoming more successful than any of them despite the fact that I dealt with so much racism growing up. I was the underdog but I'm not anymore.
“Worldly wisdom teaches that it is better for reputation to fail conventionally than to succeed unconventionally.” ― John Maynard Keynes, The General Theory of Employment, Interest, and Money
No, actually what I was thinking is there are plenty of winners who leverage having gotten the short end of the stick existentially as part of their marketing messages to potential customers and potential stake holders and in some cases, such as vets, I applaud their savvy and agree with their right to be first in line for the teat when it comes to hiring decisions. The rest is perhaps for a different market than what I'm in.
Dear Dr. Orion Taraban, Firstly, I would like to thank you for your amazing work. Your dedication and content have had significant impact on many people, including myself. I have a small suggestion: Would it be possible for you to open a second UA-cam channel where you publish unfiltered videos? Similar to Hamza, who uploads longer videos of at least 15 minutes in length, you could use this to offer your audience deeper insights and unvarnished perspectives. It would be exciting to see how you share your thoughts and experiences in this format. Thank you for your consideration, and I look forward to continuing to follow your content!]
I think this is a very interesting and compelling thesis. But I think it begs an even more interesting and compelling question: why are people so frequently not satisfied with achieving their goals, with 'winning'? I think I have an answer to this but I am interested in others' thoughts.
They want to have even more. And "more" is relative to what they already have, so a fat cat's "more" is wildly different from an average Joe's "more". First you want food, after you've got food you wand safety, after safety you want space, stability and company, then you wand wealth, then you want high status, then - fame, then glory and faith, then - power.
Many people have not yet achieved the success they desire because they have not yet been willing to pay the costs of winning. One of these costs is surrendering the privilege of losing. This may sound counterintuitive at first blush -- "privilege" is good, "losing" is bad -- but it turns out that there are many benefits to losing that people are loath to forgo. I discuss a number of these privileges in this episode.
Buy my book, "The Value of Others"
Ebook: amzn.to/460uGrA
Audiobook: amzn.to/3YfFwbx
Paperback: amzn.to/3xQuIFK
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oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations
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Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: stellargre.com.
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Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com
Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world.
#psychology #success #win
Would you do a video on why the majority of divorces are initiated by women and why the majority of those seem to be over nothing? Why are men frequently blind-sided? Why are women so frequently willing to see therapists or problem solve?
“There are no solutions. There are only trade-offs.” Thomas Sowell
There are solutions, but all actions require resources. Sowell is a moron.
Yup
Nailed it.
Had never heard this quote, thank you!
@@antonionutritionYou're welcome, brother. Thanking you from my other account.
I lost a significant amount of weight and some of my closest friends told me I needed to start 'humbling myself.' Let me explain something...I humbled myself plenty while I was laying around in my own misery and filth. But then I spent the last 4 years in the gym. 4AM, snow, rain, 6 days a week...I lost over 200 lbs and I don't need to humble myself to anyone.
I’ve been fit my entire life, and even I have noticed that a lot of people who loose weight do in fact become “big headed.”
Working out 6 days a week is pretty humbling.
Kudos my friend!
@@peachtroll probably from earning it. How much ya bench buster? Let's see if you are worthy to be judging us.
@blastermaster7261 😂 are you trolling? This is too on the nose.
I lost my alcoholism. That’s a definite win through loss.
Gotta keep winning every day
You gained sobriety
Congrats brotha!!!!
You lost twice. Once control over your life and now an addiction. Double losing cancels itself out hence you are the winner as destined! Cheers and enjoy your life!
This reminds me of "suffering from success" 😂.
Although this is success from suffering ig
When you succeed it's amazing how many people who "Are so happy for you" slowly ghost you. They really just wanted someone to wallow in their misery with them to make them feel better about being mediocre. So pathetic.
Even better is seeing the people who were previously telling you to 'pull yourself up by your bootstraps' and 'nobody owes you anything' now showing up with their hands out, and listening to them now proclaim that 'life is about helping others'.
People are like crabs in a bucket. If you take their advice, or spend time with them, they'll try to drag you down to their level.
@@Doberman_6773 Great point!
@@edheldude Absolutely 😂
Yes, that's why winners should try to forge relationships with other winners. Losers are always resentful of winners, even when they know you and are your "friends".
I have won alot in my life. Not everybody is happy for you, thats right. My conclusion to keep things secret in order to keep relationships.
You are a shady deceitful person.
Yes, work towards your success in private because a lot of people who wanna win, but can't will talk you out of working towards your goals. Let your success do the talking rather than your aspirations :)
Another point: we're accustomed to losing. We're used to it. It's familiar. Winning is unexplored territory and therefore scary. We don't know what might happen. Referencing some of Orion's early themes, men want peace in relationships; we don't like drama. The prospect of winning has the possibility (probability) to upset a lot of apple carts.
Spot on. I was so scared of losing her I was a mess and, I eventually did.
You've just described myself to the t. If there is one thing in the world I wish for, it is to be courageous at winning.
I got his book from Amazon, and enjoying it. If you feel this channel is like little gold bits and pieces scattered, the book is the gold mine.
As a Giants fan I needed to hear this today
😂 yeah it was pretty bad
As a Vikings fan, thanks for helping reestablish my faith in this season. No, we won’t be close to a playoff team, but I think Sam Darnold will continue to prove he is worthy of a starting role somewhere in this league
@@marcusmcgraw3519 😂
This is so true. Most people can't find empathy for people who are doing better than they are. You succeed, but you're on your own.
This is so true. Misery likes company is something I see around me very often. There are more people who want to see you fail and stay at their level than push the boundaries and leave your level and be better than you. All the false reassurances and wishes disappear very quickly as they see you doing much better than them and achieving success at levels that others are deluding themselves that they can. I am at a point in my life where I have an opportunity to leave my comfort zone and test the boundaries, but the familiarity of my environment is what was making me hesitate. This video is what I needed, and now I feel more confident to not feel worried about leaving the "misery company" and push the boundaries and create the change that I have been dreaming of. Thank you for this video.
My family is financially well of. I am currently restoring a classical mansion. Today I told my coworker about my passion project and how much I love doing it. I think they hate me now. Reactions were very bitter. This video came at the right time.
I may have also flexed a little how I use it to avoid paying income tax and how the system is designed to rob the middle class so yeah….. I’m an idiot
You just did it again. Shhh 😂
@TheJo96jo nah, man, it's great that you have the self-awareness to realize that it may have come off as "flexing a bit.
Same happened when I bought 6 cheap houses. Learned alot. Not everyone appreciates your success.
Tune them out.
I finished the book last week and have to say that it was an illuminating read.
I've learned that EVERYTHING is meant for my learning..... To hold everything with open hands and look for the lessons. For they will help me grow and to be at peace.
"Why not explore the limits of that, which, you are truly capable?!?" ... that's the Jedi mind trick right there
Or "of that witch"
Losers not having any responsibility and being surrounded by people who don't want them to succeed: every mental health discussion on reddit.
I'm grateful all the deranged people have a place to congregate now: redditt
I didn't become financially independent until I was in my late 40's, and I'm still in my 40's. In addition to having purchased my second home and earning money on a monthly basis through passive income, I've also achieved three out of five goals. I just hope this inspires someone to realize that it doesn't matter if you don't have any of these things yet, you can start today no matter your age. Change your future by investing! I made a rather big decision by investing in the financial market
All thanks to Jaspreet Singh with his investment advice, at least I can afford a good home and also have to retire early.
I have also worked with the same Jaspreet Singh. he is very insightful and understanding. he is also a patient teacher..
I have seen so many recommendations about Jaspreet Singh, his strategy must be good for people to talk about him....
These are all bad bots, but I've unironically been following Minority Mindset since 2017 🤣🤣
Well done!
You learn when you lose
You also start assessing the downside in any situation.
Win or Learn
A huge huge reason for pursuing the win for me is to shake hands with those that have won before and I have always admired, and help out those upcoming. I have zero desire for the sympathy of the other losers. When I lose, I go back to my cave to figure things out, which includes studying myself, and study the previous winners, and that's how I enjoy the part of losing. The farther away the other losers stay from me the better.
Of the seven deadly sins, envy is the 2nd most common after pride these days. It's what prevents a lot of people from making friends and meaningful connections. People these days envy you for anything basically; even for the smallest of successes.
No one envies you actually. People just want the best for themselves.
@@tobe-you-tube6612 That doesn't match my experience.
@@tobe-you-tube6612nonsense
@@vladivf Which kind of people are they basically?
Still the 2nd. And still *after* pride glorified in this video.
"You make it up to the top of a mountain, and what's left for me but lightning?” -Nietzsche
great quote.
I just wanted to leave a comment to say that out of 209 reviews on Amazon Orion's book has zero one-star reviews, 02 star reviews, and only two three star reviews. That is a very impressive achievement
You know how they say, being at the top is lonely and that losers have the best and biggest friend circles.
Great video. I never really thought of things in this way. But it sure does explain why so many times once you achieve that pinnacle of success it usually ends up feeling very empty.
599 subs Wow! Congrats with 600K. By end of 2024 you'll likely hit a million
606K now
Every single video I've watched insanely mind changing.
All suffers I've suffered before and can't identify the reasons or the main cause of it, Dr. Orien
EXPLAIN IT IN AN EASY WAY
I do appreciate it
This is exactly the right video im currently facing, Win and become lonely or Lose and have simpathy
Extremely grateful to have come across your channel 😌
One of the ones I've needed the most. Thank you.
You’re the best Dr.Taraban
The amount of truth bombs in this video = 🤯
I had a “friend” tell me, don’t forget where you came from. That was a weird moment bc in my head, my parents are immigrants and although I had enough growing up, I did not have a silver spoon in my mouth. So in a sense he was kind of right. I will never forget so I can continue succeeding.
Yet another timely video. It’s as if you’re providing narration to what I believe to be my hero’s journey. Thanks again for your insights, doc!
I grew up somewhat poor. And been blue collar most of my life but I am now financially sound for better words. I often say that money is alienating. I have some major health issues and can be quite intense in my thinking also, a product of said status to a degree. I definitely can’t sit at that bar and discuss issues like the old days. It negates it just by having a nice car in the parking lot. Crude example but very valid. No one cares about your problems if you drive a McLaren, even if the main reason you bought it is because you might not live that long! 🤷♂️
He doesn’t miss
This guy is the real deal! You and Saxon should do a joint podcast together.
Who is Saxon?
@robkennedy5906 my fault it's james sexon the divorce attorney.
they‘ve had a ling convo already - it‘s on video, too.
They have ..on the Soft white underbelly.
Vertiginous - I had to look that word up!
Causing vertigo, especially by being extremely high or steep.
"Vertiginous drops to the valleys below"
Relating to or affected by vertigo.
Just finished reading the "the value of others" and holy shit is my mind blown, I am simultaneously excited by my new found understanding of how relationships operate and disappointed by modernity killing lifelong monogamy in favor of cheaper ,more convenient and self gratifying alternatives, nevertheless if its the way things are now then it is what it is. thank you for being as objective as possible.
find book Unveiling Your Hidden Potential by Bruce Thornwood. Whoever finds this book will have unfair adventage over other people. You'll thank me later
The challenge of living these amazing lives we live is as real as we care to make it: juggle goodness, power, virtue, success, happiness, and fulfillment to the very end, and you've won! Yay! Now, let me see, am I going to play finite games or am I going to opt into playing the infinite game?
Great video, by the way. It's packed with more food for thought than I know what to do with! Burp! I think I've got indigestion, and I mean that in the best way possible! I also just finished reading Chapter 6 from The Value of Others. Highly recommend! 🙂
This is a great topic. It explains so much of what we see today in society, politics and even healthcare.
Today’s society vilifies winners and glorifies losers. I’ve noticed in my lifetime a shift from rewarding winners to punishing them. Losers are automatically seen as virtuous victims now.
In healthcare, there is an enormous amount of secondary gain by being “unwell”. Some people have a very hard time letting go of that secondary gain to be ostensibly healthy.
Interesting. Can you explain more about the secondary gain from being unwell?
I love this perspective. I had gone through a long period of self sabotage, never able to understand why. Hearing this makes so much sense.
Congratulations on reaching 600k followers. Greetings from Germany
Great video. I never really thought of things in this way. But it sure does explain why so many times once you achieve that pinnacle of success it usually ends up feeling very empty. It also explains why happiness is so often the greatest in striving for a goal and not in the achievement of said goal.
As someone starting a business, this is great to hear. Thanks Orion
My god Orion! You nailed it right on the head! Damn
Chief, here’s an analogy. Suppose you’re gifted with it takes you one punch to kill a man. You could become the greatest boxer known to man but at what cost?
A life outlook simplified to winning and losing is often practical and quintessential western but may not work longterm.
Godbless
Success comes from experience, and experience comes from failure.
Great video. I didn't realize why I can sabotage my success
This was a HELLUVA episode!
This could be my favorite episode. Thanks Dr..
I lost people who weighed me down and held me back.... Definite W
Sacrificing victories for losses due to fear is so real.
victory has defeated you!
Very insightful episode this one was, great work 👏
Fear of success is a real thing, stepping out of failure and into winning will force you outgrow out of those sympathy relationships.
Self-sabotage will keep happening until you are willing to step out of those relationships that serve only to coddle you in your failures.
Being coddled in my failures is exactly what I want. If you won't do it then eventually someone else will.
Taraban woke up and chose the kitchen. LET HIM COOK. Need to give this another listen.
Awesome, literary-worthy lecture.
This man is snapping on this one thank you again, Doctor 🎯
Orion touched on this, but it should be emphasized how different the culture of wealthy, successful people is from middle-class or working-class life. Success affects your attitude toward money, of course, but also toward things like time and even food. Friends don't necessarily adapt; soon, you're in a different social world, and there's not much you can do to stop it.
Really, REALLY needed to hear this topic right now. Thanks Orion 🙏🏾💯 ONWARD!!!
Kindly Make more videos on true cost of winning.
Your last video helped me in solving a problem that has kept me stuck for 4 years, i could afford paying the cost of winning but didnt know paying that much would would increase my chances. The true cost of things are not announced in life
I’ll make the sacrifices necessary in order to win. I don’t want any sympathy or to be viewed as a victim.
Absolutely brilliant! I really appreciate this one.
This is one of your best segments.
We’re so sensitive to our losses that we expect too much of the wins.
This is analogous to sooooo many things! Great talk.
What a great video.. I really needed to hear this.
Had never thought this all through. The things we did not learn in grade school.
Losing is not always a bad thing. For example, breaking up with a romantic partner but the relationship was toxic
✨️ You absolutely NAILED this!!! 💯🤩👍✨️
MASTERPIECE!!! 🤌🏿🤌🏿
I compare my life to what it would have been if I'd been born 100 years or more ago or born yesterday at the bottom of the social ladder in a desperate country. In that context I'm winning every day. This requires regular reminding but it's worth it. In celebration I think I'll take another hot shower even tho I certainly don't need it.
Orion, thank you a lot for this video! It's the great reminder for me, that having left my home country almost 15 years ago and being for the majority of this time on my own, overcoming all obstacles and still fighting on, I wasn't "motivated" because loosing wasn't the option. Or, with simple words, to succeed meant/means to survive. I doubt that it's a healthy attitude to face many external and internal challenges for any person by any stretch of imagination, since it's presumes to live in "primal/survival" mode as default mindset/state of the subconscious mind. And still, quoting your videos and the book I'm reading currently - "Considered all other things being equal, it is what it is..."
Yes, winning leaves nowhere to hide. That's a lot of responsibility. Moving forward requires discipline. Winning may also result in a loss of interest in the activity. This indicates a lifestyle containing some element of service as the most fulfilling, not centered on personal gratification alone.
If I set my goal on the impossible, but with measurable progress, then my whole life is a Unity. Without having to reorient around temporary and divergent pursuits. The whole process of life can be integrated. Materialism functions generally upon one-object-after-another. With no genuine promises. Begging the inquiry, regarding the achievement of Knowledge over Objects, Information Consumption, and Social Status.
Everyone has their own struggles. ,
Win or lose, one can learn. But too often it seems that we feel the losses a bit more and for a longer time.
Hey great episode and you gave me something to think about.
Rather have the prestige of being a steady contender, than being a champion fatigued by my own success.
You lose to win spine, so it's strong enough to carry the wins
As 'Mr Unlucky in Love'... I feel so privileged 😂 Great vid
wow...this episode stuffed my brain. so on point
Great analysis! However, I must beg to differ on this. Successful people no matter how good they are, they could have a bad day, an injury, a mental issue etc. and regular people will be there to support them, sometimes with even more fervour than usual. On the contrary I heard many times than losers deserve their fate, for not trying, etc. Plus your observation that misery is universal further proves this argument.
Dr,
you are a magician.
Thanks
this bro is brilliant
Kevin Gates said: when you’re successful, they don’t look at all the things you overcame and went through, they look at what they’re not
This is why winning through sheer luck is not success.
The leader takes the brunt of the attack, a kings chair is not as comfortable as it may seem. I know from experience and I was not ready for the attacks to return once I'd saved the day. Stay prepared, but not cynical.
This makes sense. I have a hard time feeling sorry for Lady Gaga when she complains about the bullying she dealt with in the past, however I'm cognizant of my jealousy of her. I realize that because I wish I had made it like she did I feel like get over it girl, you're where I wish I was. I'd feel okay if I was famous and made all the money you did. Although I realize that that may not be true that may not be how I feel if I was her.
As soon as I say this, I'm actually succeeding and creating a completely different business unrelated to music, I am the underdog my family because I'm the only one who's mixed black. None of them feel sorry for me due to all the races and I dealt with in the family, and I think part of that is the fact that I ended up becoming more successful than any of them despite the fact that I dealt with so much racism growing up. I was the underdog but I'm not anymore.
“Worldly wisdom teaches that it is better for reputation to fail conventionally than to succeed unconventionally.” ― John Maynard Keynes, The General Theory of Employment, Interest, and Money
Brilliant. You have an audible I will be getting it
No, actually what I was thinking is there are plenty of winners who leverage having gotten the short end of the stick existentially as part of their marketing messages to potential customers and potential stake holders and in some cases, such as vets, I applaud their savvy and agree with their right to be first in line for the teat when it comes to hiring decisions. The rest is perhaps for a different market than what I'm in.
8:16 Vertiginous- inclined to frequent and often pointless change; inconstant.
Thank you
@@brandonouellette1536 You're welcome. Had to look it up, so figured it might be useful for others. 😎
Dear Dr. Orion Taraban,
Firstly, I would like to thank you for your amazing work. Your dedication and content have had significant impact on many people, including myself.
I have a small suggestion: Would it be possible for you to open a second UA-cam channel where you publish unfiltered videos? Similar to Hamza, who uploads longer videos of at least 15 minutes in length, you could use this to offer your audience deeper insights and unvarnished perspectives. It would be exciting to see how you share your thoughts and experiences in this format.
Thank you for your consideration, and I look forward to continuing to follow your content!]
Sometimes when you win, you lose 🔥🔥
Fame is an empty knock off purse.
Congrats ok 600k subs Dr T.
I think this is a very interesting and compelling thesis. But I think it begs an even more interesting and compelling question: why are people so frequently not satisfied with achieving their goals, with 'winning'? I think I have an answer to this but I am interested in others' thoughts.
They want to have even more. And "more" is relative to what they already have, so a fat cat's "more" is wildly different from an average Joe's "more".
First you want food, after you've got food you wand safety, after safety you want space, stability and company, then you wand wealth, then you want high status, then - fame, then glory and faith, then - power.
Respect on the fitness.
¡Gracias!