Dating after 50: challenges and opportunities
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- Опубліковано 20 січ 2025
- In a much requested episode, I approach the landscape of dating after 50. After accepting the fact that everyone in this demographic has been wounded in some way, we can consider the challenge (and opportunity) of dating in this phase of life, namely: needlessness. Most people in this demographic aren't looking for marriage or kids or lifestyle. They don't need much from a prospective partner: just a genuine emotional connection. And I discuss how this is both good news and bad news.
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Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world.
#psychology #dating #divorce
In a much requested episode, I approach the landscape of dating after 50. After accepting the fact that everyone in this demographic has been wounded in some way, we can consider the challenge (and opportunity) of dating in this phase of life, namely: needlessness. Most people in this demographic aren't looking for marriage or kids or lifestyle. They don't need much from a prospective partner: just a genuine emotional connection. And I discuss how this is both good news and bad news.
Buy my book, "The Value of Others"
Ebook: amzn.to/460uGrA
Audiobook: amzn.to/3YfFwbx
Paperback: amzn.to/3xQuIFK
Book a paid consultation:
oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations
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Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com
Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world.
#psychology #dating #divorce
I don't think you really understand this area much. Your video really doesn't tell us anything we don't already know and quite a few of your points are off. The women who want connection is just a lie they have told you. Women in their 50s are just like women in their 40s. They have ultra high unrealistic standards and for the most part, have been in the single/dating scene for nearly if not over 20 years. This is something you wont know. I know because I moved to my current city 20 years ago.
The same exact people on the dating sites then, are the same exact people on the dating sites now. And I dated quite a few of them and they are all bonkers in the head. The widows are typically more sane and even keeled, however, you will never be good enough for them because their heart is with the person they lost. And YOU will NEVER take their place. Then the abused women. They don't trust anyone and they are always triggered by anything and everything and you can't do anything right because somehow, you are reminding them of their abuser. Talk about accusations and judgments why don't we. The professional women; They are sometimes the absolute worse. Esp the ones who are lawyers. No one will EVER make this group happy. EVER! The ones who never married are the ones who never will marry because they are never happy with anyone they meet either.
There is a group of women who can't keep their hands off men as well and they make the rounds and also never find anyone because even if they did, these women would end up cheating on them pretty fast. There is the syphilis group of women and these women might overlap the women who can't keep their hands off men. And then there is a very small group of women who are into S&M. They NEVER find anyone. Also another group are those with psychological issues. And these account for at least half of the single women at 40 and 50-ish age group. Some of these women are either covert narcissists or they are just plain delusional and think they are prophetesses or some magical healer, and some are into the witchcraft nonsense.
And a good majority of those are alcoholics and drug addicts. Some hide their addictions while others cherish them and will use words like, I LIKE WINE. Which really means I like getting plastered every weekend at the bars downtown.
Then there are 2 groups combined into one and these are the overweight group and among them are a small percentage who were once over weight and lost the weight and are now stretched out hanging floppy skin full of stretch marks. Neither of these 2 ever meet anyone and the overweight ones always complain that big girls need love too. Oh yeah, the overweight women won't settle for an overweight guy.. Oh no, they insist on having someone fit and thin.
And the last but growing number are those who demand poly relationships and are either bi or with another partner and want to add another. Sometimes these are married women.
One thing I see a lot of on their dating profiles from ALL of these women, is the words, YOU HAVE TO BE OK WITH IT. Meaning if you don't like how I am, too bad!
Yeah I'm afraid your video is just not addressing the real facts here. You need to go back to the drawing board and spend a considerable amount of time researching this area more fully because you really dropped the ball as far as I'm concerned.
@@opieshomeshop AMEN! Spot on.
@@opieshomeshop Mic drop!! 100% nail on the head.
And, your comment is showing unless you select the filter newest first. Either terrabans issue on his settings or YT doesn't want anyone to see your comment.
Orion! I would like to have your opinion on should one take one's ex gf back when she comes back especially when she left with this intention that she'll find someone better but failed to replace him.
Older women may claim that they just want a real emotional connection, but they're lying to you and themselves. It's like when they're younger, and say that want "kind and caring", but leave out the "from a man I find sexy". They want an emotional connection from a man that will pay for everything and make them feel safe and protected. But they don't offer nearly enough in return for me to want to put in that effort.
After 50, everything is in the open. The results reveal what someone values and prioritizes. You can tell at a glance if someone values health and fitness. You can look at their life and see how productive they are, how well they manage their money, the quality of their relationships, and if their experiences made them better or bitter. No guessing is required.
Great insight thanks. I'm about to turn 39 as a single male with no kids, still paying debts and setting up for a career change. I could easily stay in debt due to low wages and my love of cars and bikes but need to stay focused on the macro, not the micro if I will have anything to offer a woman of value down the road.
@@MuscleBandit I'm sure you'll do well. All the best to you.
Not always.
@@MuscleBandit "my love of cars .." Oh? What do you have??
I've found in my fifties that women are rarely happy for long, they love drama, they don't like seeing men happy or relaxing (God forbid both), they like to pick fights, they have zero accountability, not agreeable and most still want men with wealth, and status for their use.
An older couple, who were both widowed, had been seeing each other for a long time.
They finally decided it was time to get married. So before the wedding, they went out to dinner and had a long conversation regarding how their marriage might work.
They discussed finances, living arrangements and so on. Finally, the old man decided it was time to broach the subject of their physical relationship.
“How do you feel about sex?” he asked.
“I would like it infrequently,” she replied.
The old man sat quietly for a moment, then leaned over towards her and whispered, “Is that one word or two?”
hahaha
That was worth reading!
Hilarious 😂😂😂
I don’t get the joke.
@@GravyGoodbread...glad to help, my man. 😎
One word: infrequently = not very often. 🧐
Two: In. Frequently... 😁
As I guy in my 50s, I can tell you that it doesn’t matter if a girl is young and broke or old and well off or better. They all expect you to pay for everything. In fact the older ones often want you to provide things for them that are greater than what they can get themselves (which can be pretty high already) and they won’t appreciate much. Younger girls will appreciate what you do for them more and have more realistic expectations. Also it feels good to spend $$ on a young broke girl vs a rich entitled one IMO.
Factual. Men in their 50s aren't looking for marriage and kids(never wanted to do or already did those things). They just want a hot woman to have some fun with in their spare time. And the younger hotter women are a better fit when it comes to that. No reason to invest time and money in a menopausal woman with heavily deteriorated physical appearance. It's far better to spend your time and resources on a nubile beautiful maiden full of energy, even if it's mostly transactional. In all great romance novels both the male protagonist and the female protagonist are in their 20s or maybe 30s at most, certainly not in their 50s.
Not all. But most, yes. I would say 1/100 who have their own careers will pay half for most expenditures. But still, as a girl you like it when your man gets you a coffee or treat or dinner. I’m always fair about financials but I want to be spoiled a little for romance. It’s ok, I spoil in return in other special ways to show my appreciation and affection. But yeah a lot of terrible feminists who want to be treated like spoiled princesses. They want to give nothing to you. You gotta keep looking and kick those to the curb really fast.
@@cecilang9721 I’m talking about probabilities and not possibilities (in my friends and my experience) so I’m not arguing with that reply. We are all free to make our choices.
So isnt that making the case that women desire a provider regardless of their actual need for it? That its more a psychological need?
Maybe the game doesnt change that much after all...
@@bobbobson4030 Exactly so. Successfully Career women don’t like to hear that most men don’t care about their achievements all that much. We pretty much pay either way. And that’s totally fine with me as long as they can support themselves, their career is irrelevant to me. Good for them for being successful though.
I’m 60+ and have met a 55+ woman. I’ve never connected so strongly with anyone like the way we are connecting. Electrifying intense. I think when we’re young we are more in love focused on the other person. I think as I’ve matured, now it’s about the relationship that we can build. I’m very excited to be excited.
BS, this happened to me at young age too
Just be careful. Heard of love bombing? Give it time and don’t rush. And did you ever see the Eddie Murphy bit about the guy who crossed the desert and hadn’t eaten, how tasty that first cracker was…
At 56, the lack of a perceptible need for anything in a relationship is a BIG issue in why I do not feel any urge to be in one. It is a different feeling, not bad, I actually like it but that 'lack of need' makes the negatives of a relationship loom larger in ones mind.
I'm 43 and had to think very hard about WHY I wanted to be in a relationship again after my divorce. I decided that if a woman doesn't significantly enhance my relatively comfortable, calm, and satisfying status quo, I'd be better off (and happier!) staying alone. That has helped me dial in what things I consider to provide "significant enhancement" and they are pretty simple and also easily cancelled out by rudeness, entitlement, volatility, non-reciprocity, etc.
@@AnticitizenOneC17 An d with that mindset you just saved yourself A LOT of grief. Men never ask themselves 'What is in it for Me?' and because of that we are on uneven pavement. It took me a long time to fully FULLY realize women by their hard wiring are looking for a better deal and it is not just about liking someone. Men are truly delusional romantics. As I have read, "Ken Likes Barbie... and Barbie likes the shit Ken has". It's Evolution Baby!
65 here. Been divorced for a few years now. I have no problem dating, but keep those women at arm's length. No moving in. That works for me. And honestly, if a woman over 50 isn't self sufficient, I'm not interested in providing financial support. Ultimately I do enjoy the polarity of spending time with a feminine women. It seems to add balance to one's life.
Same here I'm 36. I am content and when considering a relationship, bad outshines.
58 bachelor here. Same, I just don't need any of it really. I mean do I really want sex and some companionship enough to deal with all the negatives. The relationships with my male friends which I have a lot of, mostly involving my hobbies, are far more fulfilling in large part because we can just be ourselves without fear of "hurting her feelings". Oh and the peace and quite, that becomes heaven in this loud obnoxious world of feminist culture, which is everywhere in media. PASS, im good, Ive been stacking chips for my retirement all my life, why on earth would I fuck that up with a "relationship".
“Got injured, progress stopped, difficulties started and led to divorce after 20+ years. Recovered and rehabbed for 4 years. Went on a self improvement journey (physical, mental and spiritual). Discovered the red pill. I never had to use game in my days. I saw someone I like and invited her out. No gimmicks. Relearned how to date. And it’s still the same game. It’s not all that deep. Confidence is outmost. Back in the saddle at 50+ years old with a beautiful younger girlfriend. There is always hope for a restart and a brighter future.”
Cheers, dude, nice to read that! All the best to you!
I’ll bet you are 6 ft or taller
RPA is a must.
You haven't learned much from how women treat men have you?
@@thekaliman3336maybe he has accepted some things about women and still wants relationship.😊
Thanks for this. At 65 I have what you are talking about so it's a blessing to have it put into words so succinctly. We live in our own houses, have our own money, friends, families, etc.. We are basically just lovers, and very comfortable with that, who hook up twice a week and like to go out of town every so often for "honeymoons". Thanks again!
Same here, except that I’m 62. I’ve been with her for 7 years. She’s fun to be around, loves sex, and we get along well. I see her once or twice a week, and we go on “adventures”/day trips on some weekends. It’s the best relationship that I’ve ever had. We live 30 miles apart.
@@mgtow6287 That's fantastic, and inspiring. I'm going to be 50 in three months. That sounds like my ideal relationship.
She got a similar friend?
@Erik_369: When I started dating, I started out with: I won’t marry you and I won’t live with you. It’s amazing how many time wasters that eliminated. 🤣 There were a lot, who in my opinion, where looking for a retirement plan, and that wasn’t going to be me.
@@mgtow6287 good point. I’ve done that. Although that hasn’t always worked out for me. I’ve found that if women really like you, they will lie to themselves. I’ve said, I won’t be your boyfriend, I won’t live with you, I’ll never marry you, I don’t want any more kids, and they say okay. And then I find out later that they were just hoping I would change my mind.
In my mid 50's, after decades in several LTR's (never married), a similarly aged, divorcee moved into my neighborhood. We hit it off and spend mini-vacations at each other's houses. We each have our own stuff, no kids, no pets and the freedom to be who we want to be. We each enjoy our own space, but we each look forward to blocking out days at a time to get "re-aquainted" in each other's "spa get-away". We're in bed for days, then out getting exercise together, exploring the neighborhood outdoors. We've taken overseas trips together that were pure bliss to share, no competing agendas, no struggles about who is in charge. No one knows we have a "thing" together. We don't do "dinner with friends". "Our Time" is our time. It's a perfect fit. If we lived together full-time, it wouldn't be as much fun or as exciting. It keeps us both on our best behavior, and gives us enough of a break to stay in touch with our independent ourselves and interests. Not everything has to be shared all of the time. Let there be spaces in your togetherness. She helps me, and I help her. I like everything about the arrangement. My LTR's were always playing the long game, "pressuring to be building up to something" (marriage), but they would all have ended in divorce, which I have successfully prevented. Marriage is a romance killer. I'm sure there is some catchy term for our arrangement, but I couldn't like it more, no matter what others might call it.
That prerequisite - " no one knows" really stands out. Congratulations 😊
@@robertross7491 It's none of her friend's business, and it's none of my friend's business. Editing gossips, and nosey backseat drivers out of your life turns out to be a positive thing for your meaningful relationships.
That's a beautiful arrangement. Thank you for sharing. I think something along these lines would be perfect for me.
This is a 1 in a million situation. It's not real life. More like a TV show.
@@Stringwar I wonder? I know of other couples like this (Goldie Hawn + Kurt Russel). I've had periods like this before (living apart together), but the geographical distance got in the way. Living in the same neighborhood makes everything 100% more convenient, while you can still maintain independence. It just takes the right personality types. You have to really value your independence, but also love a walking distance, multi-day, bang-a-thon. I think this is the model for the "New Normal". No divorce and keep each other inspired. Just keep your other friends out of the information loop, because gossip and social coercion is a force for evil. Only married women are threatened by this. Married men see liberation and more enthusiastic vitamin P. Married women sense a threat to their queen-bee world view and their monopoly/monogamy power over their man. I never look to married women for my social cues. I don't even like being in a room with married women. They are all snakes.
I’ve never been married. I’m 49. Sober 22 years. Sober life. There is nothing wrong with never having been married at 50. Actually, strangely, most people have always told me to never get married. Men and women.
Same here, brother. 61 years old, never married. I would say it's almost 100%, when talking to a married guy and they find out I've never been married, the next words out of their mouths are, "smart man." It's as predictable as the sun coming up the next morning.
As a 52 year old woman who's has gone through menopause, I am so thankful that happened and that I no longer have a desire to date. It's giving me the freedom to start a multi-million dollar company.
@@involuntarilycelebrate did you lose your desire for intimacy?
I’m sure Owning a multi-million dollar company buys her all the intamacy she needs.
But unlike Charlie sheen she pays them to come over and they are glad to Leave, or better still, cuddle her till she falls asleep after they smash her, and then skip out the back quietly and discreetly. Or go back to the guest house until summoned again.
Charlie on the other hand (used to at least) say he had no problem with women wanting come over, he paid them to leave.
The fact that Social Secrets Mastery is such a well-kept secret says a lot about why so many struggle with dating-it’s all in the book.
This is a really good topic and possibly could be your next book, because dating in middle/later life does not have nearly the same level of "transaction", if any at all. So, it becomes a matter of the invaluable things they offer each other.
Its an entirely new world!
Glad you finally made an episode for our demographic... Got your book and I am fascinated by the depth and at the same time the simpleness to understand the concepts about value and many other great things that have made me grow a lot.... Thanks Orion...hope you sell millions...
I’m 49 and I think this video is spot on. Finding that woman is like looking for a needle in a haystack, but it’s possible. After dating several women, younger and older, the main barrier to a relationship was always their aspirations for “features” in me rather than wanting to build a relationship (most notably extreme wealth, since I’m far from poor). Naturally, the man has also to be willing to let go of certain “features” (for example, extreme attraction) if what he really wants is to build a relationship and companionship. Migrating from an “achieving” mindset to a “enjoying life” mindset took me many years on a spiritual journey. It was only when I started stating clearly in my app profile that my goal was to find a spiritually connected woman who has overcome most of her material/3D needs, fears and anxieties and who’s willing to share an expanding, uplifting and joyful life, that that woman eventually appeared. It took a lot of time and discerning though… You gotta learn and be able to read people very well. Knowing yourself and doing the work to become that person for them as well is equally important.
yes, yes, yes!
60-year-old widow her. I was happily married for 38 years. He passed unexpectedly. Within two months, I knew I didn't want to live the rest of my life without a companion. I asked God to help me and went on 3 dating sites, like a part-time job; over 6 months...I had 15 dinner dates. #15 was and is precisely what I'd hoped for and is my age. We have many similarities. 8 months in....he has brought me so much joy! We enjoy each other without over-relying on each other. We talk daily, hike, watch TV, go to shows, and have dinner together. He and I are both big communicators. Above all..... we are developing a wonderful friendship. It is so good. I have my own place, and he has his.....Oh, and the sex.....AMAZING! I want to thank you, Orion. I started watching you and a few others at the beginning of my dating journey and took some of what you said to heart.
@@btwthblood happy for you
Date a 70 year old 🤢
you are fortunate
Happy for you! Glad you found a great person with whom to enjoy life!
While I’m happy for you… I can’t believe it only took you two months to get over him and start dating again… makes me question wether a relationship is good at all…
I think the comment about not needing anything from the other and just enjoying each others' company is a salient point. I'm 48. Do I need a girlfriend? No. Does the idea of spending some of my free time with a beautiful woman who brings happiness and joy (and sex) to my life appeal to me? You bet! But that comes with a load of responsibilities. Figuring out if the juice is worth the squeeze is the challenge.
Bravo!!
43 and finding out the juice nearly always isn't worth the squeeze
51 and I have never been married but was in many long term relationships my last was 15 years and that one left a scar but I have since been on a clearing out old baggage letting go of all unnecessary items that have weighed me down ! Just now starting to think about dating in which I have never done this is where I fail I don’t want to go out with different men ! I want to meet one down to earth outdoors guy loves to fish camp and can make me laugh and would go roller skating or to a concert or just be bums and watch a great movie at home and of course loves dogs ! I find that being a native of Tucson that Men that are from here just don’t have those old school values and I have not been on my radar ! I feel like I will never find a man that I can connect with in this state so I guess it is not in the stars for me !
Salient point? Juice worth the squeeze? Yea Orion’s vernacular is rubbing off on me too. The man has influence!
There’s a lot of I want I want I want and not much I soul I would I would to get what I want.
Or move to Colorado or Washington Oregon where those guys are?
Well said Orion. As someone who is just shy of 50 and 5 years post divorce, I've had a hard time explaining to some of my younger male friends why I haven't bothered with dating up to this point. This video helps me frame my answer in a way they hopefully understand.
Because you're post wall and women only want your money grandpa
Love your show. I was skeptical but at 61, I’ll say you’re spot on !
I lost my late wife to cancer in 2001 and was forced to restart life with a blank canvas at 57. The question front and center is what do you do with your life for the next 20 to 30 years. Life is OK single but can be so much more with a partner. So, I decided to marry again. Dating with a mission is far different from dating for sport. After much soul searching I decided my future bride should be similar in age for the simple reason we would age well together. The arc of our lives would be in harmony. How do you think a trophy wife 20 to 30 years younger is going to feel when you are in your 80s, not a good recipe. Dating could be brutal because I would quickly move on when it became clear that this wasn't the one. Then I met my future wife. It was anything but love at first sight. Our first date was like a mutual cross examination evidently we both passed as we continued to date. She was(is) smart, strong willed with a sense of humor and ethically grounded. She wouldn't send me out to play alone (big plus) and she likes engineers (very big plus). So, we made the choice to marry. The purple hearts you mentioned quickly became an issue we struggled with. We did not want to give up on each other so we decided to work on childhood wounds as a "hail Mary" effort to save our marriage. Step by step we uncovered past wounds and worked them out together. This was hard work but it pulled us together in a much stronger bond than before. We've been together 22 years now and we are still very much lovers and play together on a regular basis.
……your not selling it (re-marriage) with your comment, sadly.
@@michaelbutler1557 If by selling it you mean the only acceptable path is that every thing must be stress free on the path to re marriage, I would counter with the fact that we all have our own histories before meeting. Yes we had work to do to make our marriage work. Now 23 years later we are inseparable. Whatever effort we had to make in the early years has proven to be of incalculable value to both of us.
I'm only 37, but I'm still listening to this episode...just because it's Orion Taraban!
Im 32 and crave young women like 22 to 25....
@@kylemacdougall8355 same here
I'm 47. Trust me you'll be 50 soon enough. Remember the video, you'll be using it!
Im a 26 year old woman and I‘m also watching this 😂
@@leedlbagginshield8492 is it creepy for you women to say: "i love young women "?
Yes! Thanks for this one! Keep,em coming….we over 50’s also need relationship advice. Staying married for a long time is a challenge. There comes a day when you realize the person sitting across from you has changed a lot in 35yrs….and so have you, but your commitment to each other has not ❤
as a 70 year old man,read your book, thought it was spot on for both men and women of any age. Great read.highly recommend it.
Well done Orion 🙌🏽. I’m in my 50s and have chosen to date men who have swallowed the red pill…it’s a game changer! To be with a lovely human, share time and make connections and then decide whether or not to continue dating is what we both want has been truly an amazing journey. Thank you for your book I’m listening to it and find the connection between economics and human relationships compelling 🙏🏽
To my knowledge this is the first time I ever encountered a woman who specifically chose to date red pilled men. Do you care to elaborate why?
@@WildMidwest1 Hi there and thanks for asking. Well, I’m a clinical therapist and in the field of psychology, the red pill symbolizes awakening or awareness while the blue pill represents a state of unawareness. Through the loss of a grown son and other experiences, I was faced with the choice to live in love with the reality of life events and grief or to live in pain and suffering without making love connections in all areas of my life. Every day I have to choose to live in love which brings so much joy to my life. Perception results in projection as Jung said.
Hi, can I ask your opinion on this, I’m 49 and three years ago my wife passed from cancer. I’m trying to get back into dating but it’s not the same as it was in the 90s. Do you think being a widower is a turn off for most women?
@@michaelmarusic8499 Hi Michael, thanks for reaching out. While I cannot represent all women, based on my experiences and interactions, most women who are consciously aware are attracted to kindness and authenticity. You might consider asking yourself if you’re ready for a connection and if you’ve unpacked your grief with a licensed therapist. Keep moving forward - you got this.
Mam, red pill men don't want you. They want thin fit woman under 30.
I had given up on US dating. I'm 62 and was single for 20 years. All the women I met were overweight, unattractive, demanding, entitled and resentful. I met a gorgeous 31-year-old Thai woman online. We are now married and living in southern California. Couldn't be happier. I love it when all the women here give me death stares when they see us together. Hilarious!
Its amazing how the least atractive women, specially regarding their poor economic position and really bad feelings and general behavior, are among the most demanding and abusive.
Old fart 62 dates East Asian and their kids do not look Caucasian. Haha 😢😢
Let them have it, Norge!
Almost exactly the same for me. The DAY my ex wife moved out of the house with her new boyfriend driving the moving truck, I met a girl visiting here from Thailand working at a local coffee shop. She was 21, I was 43 (4 years ago now). The looks of death from other women were and still are very obvious when we went out. Jealousy and insecurity are so unbecoming. Now happily married, 4 and a half month old son and plans for another child in a year or so. Not a single bad day in FOUR YEARS. House is clean, good food... we BOTH want for nothing. Honestly sometimes I feel like crying when I drive into the driveway and she comes walking out from the porch with our son and hugs me with her other arm and gives me a kiss and tells me she missed me all day.
@@icucmeuc Amen brother. You are lucky she was able to get a visa to visit the US. That's very rare. Normally you have to go there to find/meet someone and bring them back later.
My 50+ dating experience is better than ever and I am not tall, wealthy, or especially attractive. I try to stay in pretty good shape (women mostly don't like muscle monsters and ripped guys anyway). Mostly, just trying to constantly improve my emotional and practical self. Now I am very happy in a LTR. None of this works if you don't really care or try.
Whoa. Whymen don't like ripped guys? ZERO truth to that. Now muscle monsters taking juice is one thing, but you can be naturally ripped and toned at 50 without juice.
@@slylockfox85 Saying women don't like ripped guys just sounds like a coping excuse to have a beer gut.
Muscle monsters are a caricature.
Your content is full of great insight Dr. Taraban but one thing with dating over the age of 50 is that many(men & women)have expressed that the oposite side acts like the getting to know you part needs to be fastforward, in other words they express that they are too old to waste time getting to know if that person is or not compatible. I just saw your video that you did with Mark Laita where you mentioned that most of us are emotionally 8 years old and it is so true.
44 never married, engaged, or have kids. I do what I want when I want. Absolutely zero regrets. 👍
Oh wow.. just reading through the comments comforts me, since it seems that i am not the only person who struggles with dating. I am 41 and still have hope. This video was truly thought provoking.
Thanks!
Married @ 25. Divorced @ 50. Dating isn't easy at any age. Initially tried internet dating; what a waste of time (opportunity cost). Was surprised by how many women had been assaulted and how it messed them up. It's understandable, but frustrating when they put themselves out there as "relationship ready" and they just ain't. Met a lot of "gals who once were." Nothing ages worse than a fading beauty. Marriage has come up a few times, and I've never gotten a rational response to my simple question "Why?"
@@DrBilly90210 - dating can be fun.
It's a tough landscape in the dating world for all ages. However, I believe there is a gem to be found. Cheers.
not yet 50 but close enough, I have my own house, my own money, my child, so I was exactly looking for a man in a similar situation that could provide me with real connection. I simply analyzed my lifestyle: what is it I value most in life? What is it I like doing over and over, and I found a man (50+) who is valuing the same things and enjoying spending his time like I do. I literally looked around me in my community to find the one (no apps needed) From there we are building a real connection.
I'm 52 married to a beautiful 39 y.o. woman that looks 30. Neither of us wants kids (and we've never had them). Yeah, I know we are weird that way (not wanting to reproduce I mean). My point is, men in their 50's can get a girl in their late 30's without a problem, if they're valuable and/or still have looks. Don't settle for women your age and don't go too young either, I'm speaking from experience. BTW I got a copy of "The Value of Others" and so far (into 120 pages) I find it a fascinating read. Congrats, Orion, for such a good work. I do not agree with most of her stances, but try to do a podcast with Sadia Kahn. Best regards.
She must South Asian desperate for citizenship. 😂
This is a good age gap relationship dynamic.
Late 30's to early 40's, this is gold standard, of course if they are fit. And you have to be in great shape, stable job, decent housing. No smoker nor drinker. No belly fat, some muscles. All of that everybody could achieve. No need to be 6/6/6.
Age doesn’t matter with women anymore there are some in 40s that look 20s men don’t seem to get this , has do with your dna mix as a woman
61 and with a woman of 40 who looks after herself. Tried dating near my own age, but the sexual attraction just isn't there and the self-entitlement is off the scale. Then add the "damage". I am a happy, healthy, fit and well adjusted man, I need the same in my partner.
I'm 43 and I'm at this point. After a divorce witch went as good as ot could have gone I found someone who I love to be with, but I can keep my own house and we both have the money we need and kids of our own.
I would have newer believed it, but this is the peak of my dating life.
Dating is the precursor for marriage and forming a relationship/ family unit. I'm way beyond the " family unit" mentality.
So,, basically I don't need to date for that purpose. I'd much rather have a solid friendship with like minded women.
Here's the predicament. I'm not really attracted to women of my age bracket (grandma's).
And the younger ones are looking for the potential marriage relationship.
So,, here were.
Alone,, not lonely but generally pretty happy 😊.
Have a great weekend.
You must come across as a "provider" type. If you cultivate more of a fun, mysterious exotic vibe you'll find that most young women just want short term fun.
@@ALDER-vc7mnArguably Mann's finest
Why not be open to marriage & making a family unit with the right younger woman ?
By not being open to that - aren't you greatly limiting your potential ?
After all, any right thinking woman wants her needs, not just yours alone, to be met.
You've gotta be willing to give, in order to get.
@@psalm2forliberty577,, That scenario is remotely possible.
But considering the age gap,, I don't think I'd want to put the woman through my eventual decline. Thats just my thoughts. She should deserve better.
Look at this situation as being an owner of an elderly Dog.
I'm going to die. Sadly euthanasia is not an option for humans at this time..
I don't want to put any loved one though that tortured event..
I'll gladly handle it myself...
@@ALDER-vc7mn ,, Neil who??
Absolutely, 100% agree with Orion. I'm a male in my 40's and divorced. I *need* absolutely nothing from women. I live in my own house, and have no intention of sharing this space with anyone other than immediate family. Most of my friends are men because I just enjoy hanging out with them more; they get me and I get them. Most of my hobby and sport partners are also men. There is no drama whatsoever in any of my interactions, ever! However, I do miss intimacy sometimes, but paid dates address that itch!
Nobody asked you yet and whom you are sleeping with....of u spend all the time only with a guys 😂
@@MsYhuyhu he said...he pays for sex.
I like when you point out that in our 50s, we are more free to be in it for the joy without any preconceived ideas or goals. I'm turning 52 in one week, and I love life in my 50s. I feel like I've finally grown into my comfortable self. I've always been a woman (no matter the age) who focused on being self-reliant. Mostly because I never want to depend on anyone to provide anything for me. I'm capable of doing that for myself.
A relationship at my age is more desirable because I'm more mature and experienced. We have a lot of emotions in our 20s and 30s that aren't always reasonable. I'm looking forward to my "him" coming soon!❤
As a 58 year old male this is spot on true
At the age of 30 I decided to find my father and try to build a relationship with him after not seeing him since I was 10. Neither of us NEEDED anything from each other and we started building the relationship on looking at it as being enriching for each of us. We knew it was going to take time to build new inside jokes and memories and moments and that it would require an effort from both sides in order to work. You have to build a history with someone to build the relationship and it helps by doing things that create good memories. My dad and I had to essentially have dates where we went and did something together so we built a new timeline of memories we could reminisce together about. This video, in a way, reminded me of that
Two consenting adults who enjoy each other's company - sounds like heaven :-)
Priceless Wisdom Shared Here For All Ages! The Reality of Growing & Learning & Connecting at any age! ❤
John Mayer captures my situation perfectly. I’m a 53 yr old recluse and perfectly lonely. Nowhere to be and no one to see. This is coming from a former F*boy in my 20s - 40s. I now find it near impossible to share my quiet space or my long walks with anyone.
Who wants their erotic encounter to go on a long walk with them? No thanks😊
What made you go this route? What about loneliness?
@ No one’s ever asked me this, so I took sometime to process it, and used AI to help me frame it and also challenge any assumptions and biases I may have.
Loneliness, like any other feeling, is a mental construct. It’s not a condition; it’s a state of mind that stems from how we perceive ourselves and our relationship with the world.
A few years ago, I immersed myself in self-development. By doing so, I discovered that when your mind is engaged with meaningful pursuits-health, personal growth, or work-there’s little room for feelings of emptiness. I no longer distract myself with passive entertainment like TV or music. Instead, I’ve embraced solitude as an opportunity to reflect, create, and grow.
This brings me to a fundamental truth: society teaches us that we need others to feel complete, but this isn’t inherently true. Connection is valuable, even enriching, but it’s not an absolute necessity for contentment. We can exist-and thrive-alone.
The key is learning to stand firmly on your own two feet, to embrace solitude without fear. As Marcus Aurelius wisely said, “If you seek tranquility, do less.” Simplify your life, quiet the noise, and you’ll find peace within yourself.
@@Haircuthustler1 No one’s ever asked me this, so I took sometime to process it, and used AI to help me frame it and also challenge any assumptions and biases I may have.
Loneliness, like any other feeling, is a mental construct. It’s not a condition; it’s a state of mind that stems from how we perceive ourselves and our relationship with the world.
A few years ago, I immersed myself in self-development. By doing so, I discovered that when your mind is engaged with meaningful pursuits-health, personal growth, or work-there’s little room for feelings of emptiness. I no longer distract myself with passive entertainment like TV or music. Instead, I’ve embraced solitude as an opportunity to reflect, create, and grow.
This brings me to a fundamental truth: society teaches us that we need others to feel complete, but this isn’t inherently true. Connection is valuable, even enriching, but it’s not an absolute necessity for contentment. We can exist-and thrive-alone.
The key is learning to stand firmly on your own two feet, to embrace solitude without fear. As Marcus Aurelius wisely said, “If you seek tranquility, do less.” Simplify your life, quiet the noise, and you’ll find peace within yourself.
@ No one’s ever asked me this, so I took sometime to process it, and used AI to help me frame it and also challenge any assumptions and biases I may have.
Loneliness, like any other feeling, is a mental construct. It’s not a condition; it’s a state of mind that stems from how we perceive ourselves and our relationship with the world.
A few years ago, I immersed myself in self-development. By doing so, I discovered that when your mind is engaged with meaningful pursuits-health, personal growth, or work-there’s little room for feelings of emptiness. I no longer distract myself with passive entertainment like TV or music. Instead, I’ve embraced solitude as an opportunity to reflect, create, and grow.
This brings me to a fundamental truth: society teaches us that we need others to feel complete, but this isn’t inherently true. Connection is valuable, even enriching, but it’s not an absolute necessity for contentment. We can exist-and thrive-alone.
The key is learning to stand firmly on your own two feet, to embrace solitude without fear. As Marcus Aurelius wisely said, “If you seek tranquility, do less.” Simplify your life, quiet the noise, and you’ll find peace within yourself.
This is something I have been looking for. „Emotional connections are built not found”- this is something to consider. I would really appreciate the advice how to start building this connection. Thank you so much for all your content and advice😍🥰🤩
I’ve never been married and have been in 2 long term relationships. And I don’t give a shit about that people say or think.
You're absolutely brilliant. Been watching all your videos and this one resonated with me. I appreciate not only your frequent use of similes that help me remember the information, but also the economics of it all which makes everything add up to why. Thank you.
My kneejerk reaction to a man who gives so much was to pause just now and buy the audiobook. Thanks for all of it and for the opportunity to give a little back.
I purchased the book. But I like hearing/seeing him present info here as well. Should have got the audiobook. Do you know why? Inflection. When the author explains it to you verbally, it’s the clearest and unfiltered interpretation of his work, right?
At 66, I don’t watch this channel to inform my dating. I don’t date anymore. I watch to inform the forensic analysis of why it all ended as it did. It’s fascinating to be sure.
When older women say they want a “deep emotional connection”, they are talking about from you!! YOU will never be more than an accessory to her life. Listening to what women SAY they want is ridiculous.
This is very good info. Young people don't necessarily have more opportunities. They think they do but because they have less experience and wisdom they may mess up some of those good opportunities. Old folks don't necessarily lack options either. There are plenty of people who need guidance and direction in life.
Great topic, glad you finally did this one! I got married in my 20s during college and maintained a monogamous 22 year marriage before we raised our children and grew apart. Having been back on the dating scene for over seven years now, and not really knowing what that was prior to my divorce it’s been an adventure. Your comment about the overconfident 22-year-olds that have no shortage of Dating advice is spot on, although some of those skills are applicable, but they typically don’t understand some of the complexities that come with dating at an older age. Your point about connection is also spot on. I work to keep myself in good physical shape and always remain curious and humble. I feel like dating over 50 carries some of the adventure of a fun sport, and greatly benefits from striving to be emotionally intelligent, sensitive, generous, and genuine.
"I feel like dating over 50 .." *What's the point??* The likely f3male partner can't get pregnant / bear children. Typically, the purpose of dating is to find a partner to raise a family with.
Fantastic video. 55, dating again and your advice has been tremendously practical and useful. Thank you.
Two consenting adults enjoying time together is all I am looking for at 58...and it seems impossible. Twenty years ago when I knew NOTHING about relationships or what I wanted, I had plenty of dates. Now, twenty years later, when I know SO much more about relationships and about myself, I literally can't get a first date. It's like a cruel joke.
Go international. That's what I did. 62 and now have a gorgeous wife, 31. Couldn't be happier. See my comment elsewhere here.
Youth is wasted on the young.
As a 58M, I found it easy to get dates using dating apps and so I had a number of relationships in the past 1.5 years post-divorce. But they don't last beyond a couple of months. After a good couple of months they start to act flaky and act up. I have low tolerance for BS and disrespect. So I cut them off. This has been the pattern so far. I am getting tired of it. These seem good only as short term s3x-only relationships as these women are not LTR material. Maybe after going thru a hundred of them I'll hit upon a unicorn.
@@Nordic_SkyThat’s what Mark did on his Every Man Has A Story channel.
@@Nordic_Sky IDK. I hope to retire soon and I don't want to live outside the US. Also, I don't want to have to send money back to her family wherever they are.
Wow! You really hit the nail on the head with this episode! My experience is exactly as you described. Thank you!
He says "cashed out from a previous marriage" in such a casual and matter of fact way. LOL
Such is the reality for a man in the Emasculated State of America.
@@leeali4096 men cash out too! I am a former divorce attorney. These days women paying alimony is becoming more and more common.
In an evolve or die world, this is the sweet spot where passion sublimates into compassion.
Real connections are not found, they are built !
Grear episode. I love how you just cut to the point. I feel like there needs to be more of a balance between this style of video and your videos aimed at people in the baby making years of their life. Great initial step.
40+ year olds are also wounded!
I am 61, a widower and have been dating for 6 years. In theory, it could be just as simple as you say. The mindset of just sharing what is good in life together was what I thought I would find. In practice it is just as complicated as ever, if not more so, with a different set of issues; and STILL women are just as hypergamous as ever. You cannot reassure women over 50 that they are beautiful to you, desirable to you, and that you enjoy spending time with them without them at once believing it; and in the next instant thinking that they can do better. Best just appear to tolerate them and keep your mouth shut. If she is looking for compliments I have adopted the line that "If you don't have some damage from life, you're not doing it right:" Even though I would like to tell her that she is gorgeous (because she is). It's too bad really.
I'm ~30 and this was an interesting one. I grew up with the notion of being loved simply for "who I am" and through life have learned that what I bring to the table is always important, even if it's not explicitly acknowledged. The notion of simply enjoying each other's company in old age feels somewhat refreshing, but at that age, with a career, a family, and none of that being a shared history with the new partner... I can't help but thinking a new relationship at this age is akin to a "side chick/man" where it's occasional intimacy and then you retreat to your established lives. Might be fun, but it sounds very replaceable if either party comes across something "better".
Everyone is always replaceable. That's life. Enjoy it while you can.
It is just wonderful to spend "spa days" and overnights with a special friend, and on other days we don't have to listen to a CPAP machine every night, negotiate whether to binge-watch something until 1 am, discuss how to set the thermostat, nor be unable to make impromptu decisions throughout the day. Our expectations of each other are reduced to the key aspects of connection that matter, because all the day-to-day baloney is no longer a source of discussion, disagreement, and disappointment. It's not just "occasional intimacy". It's an intimate emotional relationship, with occasional - but regular and treasured - physical togetherness.
Bingo! What a great analogy, I think you are spot on.
Imagine one day not basing a relationship on materialism. Purses, jewelry and trips are fine but find a person you actually like first and the materialism might just fade away as it’s not important
It will be the same week as I learn to cast Meteor Swarm and get to level 20. Hopefully I only die a couple times, so the cleric can resurrect me.
@@ronmexico5908 - it’s always been based on previsions. Always.
You can have a real emotional connection with your dog. And the dog won’t ever judge you. ❤😊
Unfortunately many women in their fifties are going through some major changes with regard to their bodies, identity and emotions. I have found those to be rocky waters upon which to build a relationship. For their sake it would have been better for them to have stayed with their former partner, if they are divorced, with whom they would have had a solid history. Starting out there, I have found, can be pretty challenging.
I had dates with women who were regretting divorcing their husbands while also calling their ex-husbands emotionally unavailable. Basically they were hoping to get back with their ex-husbands.
@@thomasjpuleo8112 I disagree, staying with the partner is not always best. Sometimes alone is better
It’s the same for men. 50s and mid 40\ is the age when your body starts to fall apart slowly and your sexual hormones start to decrease as well
What women often seek is liberation from the burden of constant attention and insecurity, and instead desire the warmth and security of genuine affection. Yet, this alone may not ensure their loyalty. They might explore connections with others, given the right circumstances. The key lies in a confident attitude: "I value you, but I am not dependent on you. I know my worth and expect you to appreciate what I offer." This dynamic can ignite deep desire, and if they feel regret afterward, it suggests genuine feelings; otherwise, they simply appreciate how you make them feel.
Rember to figure in menopause! It's very tough on some women.
They are cooked literally.
...and then they make it tough on men.
Some have said hormone treatment therapy with a specialist in this area helps. Takes a while to find the specialist though, I am told.
Tougher on the guys. They have to listen to all the excuses about how the woman can't lose weight (hormones) despite never going to the gym.
No. Just no! I’m so done with having any sympathy for women’s issues. I’ve been hearing about women issues and struggles for 60 years. Enough! You are all strong and empowered now, suck it up like us men have.
Love your book. One of the best reads for me in a long time. Highly recommend it!
Get ready to see a lot of strong and independent girlbosses who refused to "settle" in their 20s and 30s expecting you to still treat them like the prize
Been dealing with a lot of that, along with the ones who had children with Pookie/Ray-Ray/Chad expecting me to save them
I'm 50 years old and i want a 20 year old, is this bad?????
@@Jackthestrpper it's not bad as long as you know why she's with you and can afford her
Not happening, my brother.
@@Jackthestrpper Wanna be a dad again? Think really hard about that.
What wonderful insights. Thank you
Dating for men, at any age, is ridiculous. All women cost money, so you're better off finding a young professional and get right down to business. No paying for restaurants, movies, concerts, drives to nowhere etc. No going thru the motions just to wind up empty.
No worries about false allegations, rejection and anything else that pops up. Do your research and find the right provider and be safe.
@@jamespeters920 - I see nothing wrong with this option.
It's honest, at least. And an equitable arrangement for all parties. All relationships being transactional, in some way, anyway. May as well skip the small talk - which is simply another form of negotiating - and agree a price quickly, lol. Minor quibble: all women require _currency,_ which doesn't necessarily mean _money._ But you do *always* have to pay, with something - _of value to them._ Cash is often just the most direct shortcut - or, _compensation._
@@GjVj - the toll must be paid. Upfront or after. Your choice.
@@36handy Yep. One way or another. If you wanna play, you have to ante up, and the real risk is not in the odds, it's in not knowing what the stakes are.
Fantastic advice. This is precisely what I do these days.
I'm 50 and dating a 45 year old woman, this is all on point Doc. I don't need marriage, just need the things you really want from a woman as you mentioned before: soft/feminine qualities, stability, and inoffensive behaviors. This woman has those, and bonus points she loves sex more than any woman I've ever been with. We have purple hearts but have moved on, btw she's an online family therapist, go figure !
If anything were to happen to my wife. I would never ever date another person let alone getting married. She and I are one person. And if she was gone. I will be more than happy living the rest of my life as a single person because…I don’t need, in fact, never needed to be with anyone in the first place.
I married my wife because she is truly the missing half of my soul that I didn’t know was missing until I met her.
We never ‘dated’. We just immediately knew we were created for each other. And if and when something happens to one of us. We know the other will be waiting to be together again.
Cheers.
I'm 67. Your perspective: Very accurate conclusions.
I just lie. I'm 51 but 48 on my dating profiles. Most women do not want a ltr anyways. Actually most are not ltr material so the fake age never really comes up.
I figure most will put 49 as their top age match.
Also, I use up-to-date photos. I would say 90% of women on dating profiles use photos that are at least 3 years old as their top photos. If you want to see what they really look like scroll to the bottom. They'll put one or two photos of their current age. Amazing how quickly women can change their physical appearance. My ex was using an 8 yo photo. 17 year age difference though so I was not complaining.
Awesome I love that
Women have the same sentiments too. You just have to connect with one that has hesl d herself and is strong inside. They are out there
Best decision of my life was not getting married. Was warned at 18 to veer from the court system. Timmy C Arizona 59.
I'm in the same boat . Raised by a single mom and all she wants to see from me is to settle and have a family before she will be proud of me but I doubt that will ever happen . She doesn't care about the court system and how bad my life will be ruined if I end in a divorce so I don't care either. 😂
Guys, just get prenups, if they don’t sign don’t get married.
Dr. Orion, saw that your interview with Dr. Shawn T. Smith, I must say I’ll have to buy your book. You like Mises? It’s hard to believe since you bring a lot of “empirical evidence.” Let’s not forget that Mises said “empiricism is inadequate to study human beings.” You seem like a good human being so don’t forget what Mises once said Praxeology is about individuals reaching their ends. RPillers don’t believe in free-will and individuality so them using Praxeology is like saying you need a calculator to boil an egg. Lastly, I don’t know if you’ve read Sensory Order from FA Hayek, but I think you’ll like it. Have a good day and Game on! PS. Interview Adam Lyons and bring up Oxytocin.
Yes. One thing is true, after a long marriage that ended in divorce I don't want to repeat the same experience but still have a LTR. I noticed that ladies who were never married and never had LTRs behave completely different from those who had LTRs. Gosh, the former want to quickly made for the time lost, get married, have a "fully enriched" relationship. I listen and wonder what did you do all these years? Not everything could've been advancing their careers.
@@CalicoCooperFan They know that LTR is not full with flowers. That relationships are not only about going out and having fun. That life also involves daily chores, and that most of life is boring stuff. For whatever reason these ladies who never had real LTR have unrealistic expectations . That is all romance, going out and fun sex (when ironically women are the first ones to disengage from frequent sex when they get in a relationship). That is something I find hard to wrap. Don't they know that if you decide to cohabitate or share your time then someone has to do laundry, take care of the yard (or pay someone to do it), bring the car to maintenance, pay bills, save for your pension, etc? I completely agree with Dr. Taraban. Most of life is daily boring activities, and you have to show that to women. But apparently these never married ladies still believe in some old fairytale.
I understand and this is the reason why I could never date a man who’s been married before
@@leedlbagginshield8492 I am not sure what's your age target but the older a guy is the percentage of never married guys who want to marry tend to be close to zero. Wish you well in your search.
@@jmona3046 You are absolutely right. I usually don‘t go higher than 35.
Thank you very much. Because all in all, the exemptions for those aged 50 and over vary a bit compared to younger ages.Unfortunately, you did not refer to this age group until today.Sometimes and in most cases in the dating market, it is exactly the opposite from the younger ages.
Every time I get the slight urge to date, I watch things like this to get my head right again and avoid the nonsense.
Have two Purple Hearts so to speak. Wish I didn’t have them. Single, wealthy(in more ways than one) and healthy. Don’t miss marriage or dating. So good to be single and older.
I agree with this except the comments about money. As someone who is 55, the idea that most people in their 50's "don't have money issues or don't need the other person's money" has not been my experience. Most people I know in their 50's are not any less of a bonehead when it comes to money than people in their 20's and even after 30 years in the work force they are still broke all the time. And a lot of these people who are horrible with money in their 50's still NEED someone to take care of them with money. This is just anecdotal, of course, and I'm not sure what the exact numbers are, but I wouldn't be surprised if 50% of people over 50 need to find a partner with money.
Agree, this is true.
It is amazing number of people, men or women out there, who want to find a money tree that can fix their financial issue with little effort.
I agree. I've dated dozens of women during the last 14 years, including three serious, multi-year relationships. Although most of these women were perfectly capable of ongoing economic independence, sustaining their current, post-divorce circumstances just fine, all were very eager to marry someone in order to return to something more like their pre-divorce economic status. My mother has been telling me since she was 81 that none of her friends over 70 intend to remarry, but most have a love interest, and each maintains their own household. Now that I am 65...and have earned a couple of purple hearts through my own mistakes regarding selection and boundaries...I am finally ready to pursue "living apart together".
I like 7.30 - 7.32 and 7.38 - 7.54 is so absolutely true!
I date same age girls all my life: around 22. I don’t give a f what others say.
Well done Janek 👌🏻
Leonardo DiCaprio blueprint
Chciałbyś ...
Keep on dreaming. 22 years old. Do not date….lol they are paid for showing up
@@jmd3236 How is that different than older whymen?
Orion's usual excellent presentation. In real life, most women still in their 50s are looking for money from men. Not all but most. You can find one who is all about connection but that will be the exception. By the time they are 70, that has changed to the extent that women may be paying men for companionship. Life is tough for young men and old women.
All these hold true.
But also...
When your dating a 50+ woman she is evaluating what you can provide not only monetarily but physically as in...
Can you still lift heavy things, are you bound to a medical treatment or medication for the remainder of your life etc.if it looks at all like your going to need some longterm care in the near future and they are not ugly or disabled they wont give you the time of day.
They want to be taken care of.and at 50 on they have been around enough that their bonding mechanism does not work like it used to.the wont fall in love and be dedicated to you when your dying of cancer.
Not true. But I’m a nurse. Older men love that and the purse.
@@basantidevi2305 are you married?
Try a different one. It's a buyer's market after 30. Big discounts after 50. Shop around.
9:30 I've noticed that I typically require more interactions with a woman before establishing an emotional connection. you helped me realize now that the main reason I did not attract the "baddies" was because I was not providing other values to have them around long enough (or at all) to establish emotional connections am not the flashy type so, I'm the invisible needle in the haystack. Thanks for the insight.
I'm a divorced 55 and in a LTR with a similar woman. Pretty much my only motivator for being in a relationship is for sex. I have friends for everything else. Sex is cheap. It's the dinners and vacations that add up.
You’re an emotionally bankrupt man.
@@rob21 - get a professional. A lot more fun.
I'm not in my 50s yet, but I still got a lot out of this! Thank you!
I'm 49 and divorced. A couple of years ago, while still separated from my ex, I had the epiphany that if I'm cooking my own food, cleaning my own house, and doing my own laundry, then what do I need a woman for? I answered myself "vagina." I then asked myself does vagina in and of itself justify a woman being in my life, especially considering that I don't need her for anything, and the conclusion that I came to was no. Around that time or shortly there after I began listening to redpill content. Now I have no desire to get married or to even have a relationship. Like others have said in this thread, I am on the journey of personal development in all areas of life. I haven't completely ruled out dating, but if I do get in that situation, it will be completely on my terms, and she will have to provide outsized value to me to justify her being in my life, otherwise the time and other resources that would be invested just wouldn't be worth it to me.
A lot of men reach the same conclusion, because it’s reality - the only problem as I see it is social isolation - men get super weird and crazy when isolated for too long and it doesn’t look very healthy
@@charthers8903 I understand that, but I am happiest when I am alone. I have always been that way, even as a child. I'm also an introvert so the effect is even more pronounced. Being alone helps you to grow and see things more clearly. Maybe I will change one day, but I will always be in solitude at least to some degree.
Dude, are you me? I am in your same demographic, and have reached the same conclusion. Also an introvert, and enjoy my own company. However, I have not completely eschewed vagina: for me it is an on-demand commodity that I (legally) pay for.
Dude you have issues
Subscribed! Love your content Dr. Taraban!!
55 here, my T is lower, my drive is lower... and frankly my standards are not.. I still want a hot 25 year old. Suffice it to say, it's not as good as it was before 50.
I'm 62. My gorgeous wife is 31. I take supplemental testosterone. Life is good! It can be done.
@@Nordic_Sky -- how did you meet her? Is she a single mom or does she want babies with you?
Duh. See my comments. Another narcissist. Stop watching porn.
@@rayrwyr I met her online. She is from Thailand. We are now happily married and live in southern California. She has a 14-year-old son, but he remained in Thailand with her Mom who raised him since she had to move away to work and support the family. Nice family. She would like another child, but I already have 2 in their 20s, plus a vasectomy, so I'm not so sure. My wife is fine either way.
@@Nordic_Sky -- I see. Online means dating app? I read many horror stories with such women from Philippines, Thailand and other asian countries. In those stories, they leave after getting green card and having kids, and they take everything leaving the men in shambles. I have known that happening with Ukrainian women destroying US and Canadian men. Keep your finances well-protected in preparation for the possibility of her leaving you for another US man.
Age 56 here. You nailed it.
It is a tragedy how menopause absolutely wrecks women's beauty. I'm 65 and do see there are a few who look after themselves so they are not hit so very hard by mother nature, but as usual, they are rate exceptions. A woman ages ten years in two when they go through menopause.. And like it or not, men are still attracted to attractive women. That certainly includes me as well.
Have ya'll looked in the mirror latelyl? LOL Also no one wants to be your hospice wives. Yuck so yeah, the wallet better be gorgeous, cause ya'll halloween mask caliber 10 Xs out of 11.
Yes, way more of them should be using low dose estrogen to combat it. I watched a video on it put out by a female doctor who says it's vastly undertreated.
Obviously mother nature does this to women on purpose.
We are not supposed to live forever and females are so beautiful in order to attract the best males and reproduce with them when they are young and able to reproduce.
That is the cruel logic of human evolution.
The older generation is replaced by the newer one with better adjusted genes (in those surviving even in the possibly harsh conditions, though currently we effectively suppressed the natural selection process for human race).
In fact, the original "plan" is to leave the space and resources for younger generation in the age of about 50...
We can accept this or we can use all the magical chemistry to fight against the mother nature.
We do so with contraception, drugs of all kinds and the estrogen @bearclaw5115 mentions is just another example how to trick it.
@@bearclaw5115 Absolutely agree! I had one partner who got estrogen and the effects on her mood, energy, libido, self-esteem were a real testament to its positive effects. Gentlemen, have her do her research. That original study indicating a big percentage increase in the risk of cancer from ERT was actually a VERY tiny increase from near-zero to extremely low risk. But the percentage change made for good headlines and stuck in people's awareness.
Do not let yourself believe that you can’t be happy without an intimate partner. Because you might get into a relationship and begin wishing you were single again. Be aware of the trap of getting what you want.
So~ (correct me if I'm wrong)...
This is what men (who are prosperous and responsible) generally look for in a potential wife :
- Good looks, fertility and healthy lifestyle
- Housekeeping abilities
- Loyalty and reliability
- Decent past (low body count ; no debt ; no criminal history ; no illegitimate child ; etc.)
- Graceful manners ; trustworthy conduct and honorable personality
- Similar cultural background, mind-set and political leaning
- Intelligence Quotient
- University degree ; career and the amount of money in the bank account are seemingly optional...
Therefore, they (caucasian men in particular) should settle in countries that have not been poisoned by the "feminism/wokeism".
After watching these videos for like a year, I like this list. But I think age needs to be up there. Being senior, even with all of those attributes, will not even be considered. Being young is going to win out.
@@aaronlc7948 I am referring to men. After a certain age, women become person non grata.
Yes 🙌 intelligent conversations are high on my list now and doing fun things together also take care of me if sick or have surgery only mild attraction is needed 😂
Day 4 of asking Orion to make a playlist teaching us how to maximize the “Womanizer”, “Don Juan”, “Seducer”, “Playboy”, “Bad boy”, Ladies’ man” niche in sexual realtionships
😂
plenty of others doing so.
Sounds terrifying, no wonder it's a minefield out there.
Another movement of clarity given to you by the Doc😊😊😊😊