The News Hasn't Happened Yet | #2: Clonka Minkus
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- Опубліковано 10 вер 2017
- There's a terrible crisis happening right now in Clonka Minkus.
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PATREON / davidfirth
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I made the music for this I call myself Locust Toybox. You can buy it on Bandcamp
locusttoybox.bandcamp.com/
I don't know why you haven't subscribed yet.
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💾💾💾💾💾💾💾
Trying to make sense of the news. The news won't happen. The rotting newscorpse. We make the news. Kony 2012 The news exploded. Big bits in a bag of newspiss. Bits of buggery newsy shit that nobody news about. When no one news. No one could nevernews spilling the news it's a factbomb or truthbomb not lying news newsergate newsbomb often called the dogsmack news witnessing the great news crash clickbait cracknews makes a stink news from the dogpipe. Nothing is happening anywhere ever. There is no news. The news hasn’t happened yet. The news didn’t happen, did it? The news won’t happen, but you'll forget about old news that never happened as the promise of new news will replace it. Exploding newspiss. This was just my thought process for the title. I thought I'd leave it here. Otherwise it's just a hidden compost heap in a file on my PC that will never again be accessed. 💾 - Фільми й анімація
Hey there truth junkies. Thanks for stopping by. I'd like to thank the Patroids for helping this channel. If I had to rely on the ads, you'd probably not see another animation. Now thanks to my supporters, you will. www.patreon.com/davidfirth sign up and let me know what series you want to see more of.....also there is Patron-only unreleased stuff (just saying).
David Firth i just bought your entire discography. You gave it away for free before i downloaded it like 20 times . But u deserve this because this music has made this life quite interesting. U and aphex twin are my faves
David Firth I want to see more of the series where you make weird shit for my eyeballs to watch.
David Firth comeback of salad fingers? :)
Love you, David
David Firth you are my jesus
Im so happy for people in Clonka Minkas, they've been through so much.
Pikapetey Animations No they haven't you just remembered it wrong
Pikapetey Animations
How could they go through so much if hey don't exist
Pikapetey Animations i was there last week and it was awful but i did enjoy it i must say. I brought my dog with me.
splo1nger lier, dogs don't exist
caitgems1 its a shave itself into a goat dog, you can get them on amazon.
This comment section got really existential. It's nice to have UA-cam comments that don't make me want to murder people. Good work chaps, you're the best. :)
Love you Davie.
You just remembered it wrong, these UA-cam comments you are referring to don't exist.
You should make an animation about UA-cam commentors, that would be funny!
Or make something good again
David Firth murder is more fun though, but cleaning is a bitch.
It's scary... how accurate this is.
VHS it’s so truth that is scary
D E E P
damn, it's scary that now it's even MORE accurate...
i have watched ALOT of conspiracy videos....this is spot on....
Siculus Hort yea scary good .___. This is the news they feed people
"Why is nobody doing anything?" Said by an activist while looking at his phone - just perfect.
Everyone in the comments are just on their computers, doing nothing about the crisis in Clonka Minkus.
What crisis?
Clonka minkus doesnt exist, just look at the pixles it was never even there.
+Boss Smasher's comment doesn't even exist, if you look closely, you can clearly see it was photoshopped in.
Clonal Minkus is doing fine
@@zappyzk304 what th is comment? You talk like those youtube believer. Stop this nonsense, youtube doesn't exist. There's no scientific evidence that youtube exists.
I've been to Clonka Minkus earlier this year and I can confirm, it's a pretty pleasant country. The weather is nice and the people are friendly. My only complaint is that it doesn't exist, so that may or may not turn off some people from visiting.
As a member of the Truth for Existence organization, I am frankly appalled that you would make such a baseless statement such as the fact that Clonka Minkus is a nice place to visit. How can it be nice if it doesn’t even exist? Even if it did exist, it would just be another puppet 3rd-World dictatorship controlled by the lizard people, and saying it’s nice is just buying into their trap, you sexist racist homophobe.
“Clonka Minkus” is a psy ops campaign invented to enforce gun control laws by the Global Satanic Cannibal Pedophile Elite.
It went missing from existence just like the 700,000 people.
It's where the Bermuda triangle drops people off
@@FrankieTeardrop1998umm actually it was only 70,000 people, you must be remembering it wrong. but it actually never happened
I love how the random “theyre trying to take our guns!” Comes in like how it actually happens in real life
Real life isn't real.
The government doesn’t want to take your guns, they want to borrow them before returning them! Open your eyes!
@@srbrant5391 Wtf 🤣🤣🤣
@@srbrant5391 that's a new one...
@@srbrant5391 Yes they want to return them, bullets first!
Crisis in clonka minkus
**reverse card**
everything is fine in clonka minkus
**plus 2**
Clonka minkus declared nicest place on earth
**reverse card**
Clonka minkus doesn't exist.
Wildest game of uno i've ever witnessed.
I wish there was a video like this on the UA-cam.
Crowning Peanut you just have to dig deeper
I DOESN'T EXIST
Xavier Renegade Angel is as close as you won't get.
A very well written comment. Very good sir.
Crowning Peanut why this blank comment popular?
"" see he said f all yet 500 likes?
The last time I was this early my neighbor had turned himself into a godlike being made entirely of light energy
bb2fiddler #goals....😂
Cr3am dOesN't exist
Godlike beings don't exist
Light doesn't exist I mean look at the shadows, it never existed.
Lol, cream.
I'd like to note the names of a few regions surrounding Clonka Minkus such as Sponka, Klima and Al Bukhabba.
don't forget
"Boing"
You forgot Shadolka Baloukah
As someone who lives in the Clonka Minkus of the month, this is literally what foreign (and local) media looks like rn.
I really love these. The tone of it all is so great. I hope there are even more coming.
:(
I agree and I'm the 100th person to agree
SpongeBob narrator: *5 years later*
If Clonka Minkas doesn't exists, then how my expensives clothes are made ? Checkmate
you don't have any expensive clothes.
in fact you don't own any clothes to begin with.
You are naked. "Go get dressed, please", said God. "Ok", you said. And a snake bit you before you could eat an apple. You're dead now. How are you reading if you no longer exist?
Were you the snake? The story they told me was a lie.
lucifersam01 emporers new clothes
"Attention spans are rapidly falling, according to a new survey, directly contradicting a different survey which was in actual fact the same survey conducted on the same people.
Results show that surveys and polls are up 2%, making them 30% more popular than they were with the under-40s, but 40% more unpopular than they are with the over-30s.
64% of unsurveyed people say they would never take part in a survey and if they did they would give false answers to sabotage the results."
:D
Statistically speaking.......
1:54
If you look closely at the shadows, you can see that the giraffe wasn’t even there.
Ok, so I'm 5 seconds in and David has already created a map with entirely made up names, borders and rivers. No wonder these videos come out every 73 years.
I'm sorry but the map is not entirely made-up. It is a modified map of South Sudan.
Ah fair enough. But the names have all been changed and it's only on screen for a second still.
+Jim H Umm actually no names were changed. This technically is a perfectly accurate map of South Sudan. The only thing that he did was change the name to ""Clonka Minkus" and redraw the borders of the countries around South Sudan (Ethiopia for example lost a lot of territory to regular Sudan and another country)so that it looks like this was a fantasy place.
Like he said, an entirely made up country. Can you prove otherwise without any fake news sources?
Didn't think so, shill.
the city names are accurate, yes, even "Lol" exists. the countries do not exist however, but alot of borders are recycled. here are the names of all the countries I could see:
Clonka Minkus
Al Bukhabba
Al Anhan Sen
Mehksum Dina
Al Anshira
Sponkah
Klima
Meskitimoio (I'm sure about the last half, but the first half is tricky)
H(beyond this "H" I'm unsure)lak...
Hey there truth junkies. Thanks for stopping by. I'd like to thank the Patroids for helping this channel. If I had to rely on the ads, you'd probably not see another animation. Now thanks to my supporters, you will. www.patreon.com/davidfirth sign up and let me know what series you want to see more of.....also there is Patron-only unreleased stuff (just saying).
Again, I'll do my best as a patroid, how do I sign up?
I love you
David Firth this is a face reviled
$11,672 per creation, glad to see you're finally getting what you deserve!
David Firth Another re-upload Dave? Seriously? (Nah, seriously I'm still just sore about The Meadow Man)
*God Bless Clonka Minkus*
You watch OneyPlays.
What is
Oneyplays
NEW EVIDENCE PROVES GOD EXISTS
NO, NO, LOOK AT THE SHADOWS, GOD IS NOT EVEN THERE
IT NEVER EXISTED IN THE FIRST PLACE
Lets make Clonka Minkus great again!!
Thank god my dog doesnt knows anything about this.
Wakeshimutanemahazunakunamatittenopan
Dogs don’t exist
What a shill. Dogs don't exist. Just look at the pixels around your dogs' head. It's not really there.
Thank God you don't know your dog is a lizard
"Thank dog my god doesnt knows anything about this."
Fuck yeah man, I watched Salad fingers, toast boy all that when I was just a teen, now I'm a grown ass man and was delighted to see your new shit, fucking stellar. Cream was amazing. That shit could rival BIG production value projects that still come out shittier than your content. Well done man!
Thanks man. I do what I can.
David Firth were you signing on for a while there?
David Firth I have watched your channel for a long time and I have really liked this video because it stayed neutral the intire time and is a funny insight into fake news.
David Firth Cream is CRIMINALLY underrated I was going to sue you for to spread the truth but I just learned it's illegal
you've learned fake news man.
3:04 That"s him! He made a cameo in his own film.
He put his face on almost everyone in this video. lol.
@@vampireleniore no fucking way!!! Stop the presses. Stop them right in their goddamn places. This guy has just discovered the most hidden easter egg in existence.
nahh it's just another superimposed face, you can see the pixels around the head, it's fake
David firth is a lizard feminazi that merely trying to extract our third eye plasma. Thus video did not take place. Clonka minkus is however a real place. You are now brainwashed to not see it.
3:03 just regular David lol
HALLELUJAH!!! WE HAVE BEEN BLESSED WITH A MARVELLOUS UPLOAD!
PRAISE THE LORD, FOR IT IS A GLORIOUS DAY
This video never existed.
David Firth never existed
You never existed.
I never existed once
people dont even realize that cgi-ing faces technology is getting better and will soon get to the point where there will be fake shit
I'm pretty sure the tech is already there for that. I am certainly not on the cutting edge. I'm just a bedroom-amateur watching UA-cam tutorials. I'm sure a CG professional could make this utterly seamless.
@@davidfirth please utilise deepfake software for your videos, I can get together some easy to use software, some tutorials and some people you could chat to about it, it'll let you pretty much splice your face onto anyone and keep perfect lighting and 3D conditions
@@davidfirth The lack of seams proves it's fake. In the future, which is where I am located, all real faces have seams digitally inserted by hand in order to prove they are real.
@@Saddamuel but we can all see that they wasn't even there.
2021, deepfakes are getting really good..
I just watched "The News Hasn't Happened Yet #3"... but it wasn't even there!
Plot twist: it's there now
-but it doesnt actually exist-
I'm TOTALLY in love with the series. Please DO keep it up, checking your patreon rn
It's a strange thought that in an alternate universe, stuff like this actually exists and is talked about
StickMaster500 yes, ours.
unless there are no alternate universes, only this one
It isn't part of any alternate universe, you just remembered it wrong.
StickMaster500 It doesn't exist
Alternate universe?
Just turn on CNN mate. *THEY'RE HERE!*
If you look closely to the shadows, this video wasn't even there.
These "News Hasn't Happened Yet"s hit just a little harder in 2020.
Should try it in 2023.
The video about Up basically predicated 2020 covid news and rewatching this I realized how similar it is to the 2022 news about the state of Ukraine
Holy shit David, you are the fucking best
lol I love this guy his mind is amazing
Yeah, I'd love to know how he comes up with this stuff. Or maybe not... that might be scary
Jerry Lantz I like to imagine he says "what would be the funniest, weirdest, and most obscene shit I could make news people appear to say?" XD
Dude just ask adult swim for a job!
Thank you
Adult Swim doesn’t exist. Look at the shadows!
hes so innovative that adult swim should ask him for a job
@@fishtriestosing5426 of adult swim exists how come i never seen it
We need David firth in the eric andre shoe
1:06 I love how there’s a jump cut as if he’s making stuff up as he goes
We must do something to help Clonka Minkus but it wasn't even there.
Why dont you do something then?
A known face.
I think I might have seen you before.
We gotta make the Minkus and we gotta break the Minkus, then we gotta save the Minkus we just Clonked.
+Drag Nah. You've done no such thing, and neither have I.
Where is Clonka Minkus on the flat earth map?
Next to Lewisham.
South of Normiestan
Is that beyond the Icewall? So there is more land!
Why would we want to watch a video made by mental people?
Why do no real photo's of earth exist?
This more and more seems less of a parody and more like what the news actually is
I loved the “They’re tryina take our guns!” guy. Also I really wanna visit Clonka Minkus
Has this video happened before? Have I happened? What doth life?
2Edgy4ThisPlanet What? Who's talking? You just imagined it.
IT HASN'T HAPPENED YET
2Edgy4ThisPlanet O SHIT WADDUP MA MAIN MAN. I see you *EVERYWHERE* .
I watch your videos by the way.
Santino Switch no you don't, my UA-cam channel never happened
David Firth never existed.
You just need to remember correctly.
I mean, just look at the pixels, he wasn’t even there.
Is David Firth real? A recent study has proven otherwise, and the general populous, after being surveyed, have unanimously agreed that this is stupid and that David Firth never even existed.
You forgot to take your damn pills, Dr berry would like to see you.
MugenJaderMugen™ Never existed they are just a computer
It’s unhealthy how many times I’ve watched this.
We really need to support the Clonka Minkus people. I've been there and it's beautiful, we must save it from non-existence
I love the amazing ridiculousness of this. It's difficult to explain in words but I somehow feel like I understand it.
its a parody of sorts
It's like a telephone game between magazine pages
@@glumbortango7182 What an absolutely awesome comparison! Love it!
#prayforClonkaMinkus
#truthisnotillegal
#Bringmydaughterbackfromnonexistance
Praying dosn't exist.
Type amen 🙌😇
Orwell gave us 1984... Huxley gave us brave new world..Firth gave us THE NEWS HASN'T HAPPENED YET
I love how something so simple as the contradictions we face everyday can be so comedic
#PrayForClonkaMinkus
That should help. It always does!
David I fucking love your creations. Don't ever die, k thanks.
He's been dead for years mate you just remember it wrong
@@PALACIO254 he never existed in the first place, obviously
@@theresamartin3421 - he was dead in the past; but that was before he was born.
The random "they're trying to take our guns!" Was amazing
2:33 Please tell me im not the only one who fell of his chair laughing at this
"People are like dying" cracked me.
Why do I have a feeling that this is just like your daily news
We need another one of these right about now mate
2:40 I'm dead.
"freelance scientist"
hahaha that one realy got me
"They're tryna take our guns!!"
This is a perfect representation of what the news looks like right now in 2020.
I wish adultswim would’ve picked this up as a show
This is much funnier than the News that has happened.
0:55 is a good example for how things are taken out of context
1:48 I love how he pronounces Clonka Minkus
Clonnnn kaa mink-us
i do love you for doing these last 2 within this topic,
very true. thank you.
THEY ARE TRYNA TAKE MUH GUNSSS
Teyy tuk aur jobbbs!!!
TheTastyDuck they are
Wow this series rlly shows alot of society but are we doing anything to heal it? no
We must do something.
This series doesn't even exist. It's just lies made up by the media.
Ah man this news things are amazing. I've watched multiple times since first watching yesterday. Just noticed the credits and read them..ha.ha. !!!
Bravo David Firth. You have been really hitting the spot for me. Fantastic work.
This series is legendary. The world was never ready and it never will be. We like being fucking idiots. It's just what we do.
This is how I feel everytime I watch the news, talk to another person or walk outside.
Just kidding. I never do anything of those things.
I'm pretty sure there's a disturbing subplot to this
1:25 reminds me of cyriac.
I saw these when they came out too, but they've really aged VERY well xD .
This comment section doesn't exist, this is just bots created to keep your attention. Feel free to tell them horrible things for your own satisfaction. Thanks for using Gloggle.
I_I It doesn't exist
How can I know these bots exist. And if this really is the truth, your breaking the law!
look at the shadows around these comments. They weren't even there.
Don't listen to this soviet SHILL
frig off
Well, glad to hear things are doing fine in Klonka Minkus
why do you believe these communist neo fascist teletubbies lies?
David your a gem my friend. never stop
Absolutely loving the humor. And this is some truly great editing as well.
Nice work.
The more of your videos I watch, the more I appreciate your talent.
I've been going through some rough times, as of late. But rolling with the punches is what I do! I would like to say though, your videos have given me some much needed comic relief. And for that I have gratitude. So Thank You!
"A man is living inside the sun."
"Not really. Obviously. But you have to admit we got your attention."
I swear..this really is online news now. I've seen so many headlines online exactly like that. News now is basically just talking about reporting on disasters and people online posting a random image for support. Even trying to make the image as aesthetically pleasing as possible with quirky art and fonts.
People so bored with their lives that they have to make up conspiracy theories about random sh!t like the color of the sky or something. News articles purposely posting headlines that aren't true to garner attention and clicks. People treating disasters as a way to get views online. People manufacturing outrage to get UA-cam views even though no one is actually really offended by the thing commentary channels claim people are canceling.
We are losing our humanity.
*I want my daughter back from non existence* best line.
and her 699, 999 friends
David, I just right this morning got this update for this video... It says it came out last year... Just wanted to let you know... With that said, thank you for what you do, I love it!!!
This is a scary representation of western media.
this is a accurate representation of really ridiculous news can be and also trending topics
David Firth's Content is Absolute Gold! David needs a Million or more subscribers.
Wish granted.
Literally the same with Ukraine. "omg we must do something" while proceeding to do nothing xD
I honestly love this. I can hardly believe the crazy stuff he puts out. Keep up the amazing work!!!
A NEW VIDEO HES NOT DEAD AYYYYYYY
KM it's actually not new... He uploaded it some months ago but UA-cam kept shutting it down...
I really don't know why he decided to reupload it but I'm happy...
oh
LukaANDkrusty it's because this video never existed
LukaANDkrusty because now he has patrons supporting him he doesn't need to rely on ads to get paid for his work
Absolubtly love this channel. Wish uploads were more frequent
5 years ago david firth was making jokes about people thinking other people aren't real.. and yet 5 years later it has become a reality
i mean it's always happened, it just seems to get worse every year because the people who believe that get louder and louder
this notification was the best thing happened to me this month!
This is nuts
But not dogs nuts cause they don't exist
David you’re the only person I would ever donate money to I’ve been watching your videos since I was in third grade I’m 27 years old now we grew up on South fingers but recently I watched sock6 was completely blown away. The artistry was so beautiful the animation the way the film played out was absolutely beautiful sublime ugly grotesque a true work of art my friend congratulations you have my respect as a real artist you have a true talent there’s not many people like that out there please keep making more videos like this I watch this video 20 times already and still can’t get enough
this is amazing! keep up the great work David!
I bet not one American will be able to find Clonka minkus on the world map.
If you look closely at the shadows of this video it wasn't actually here at all
These are seriously so good and need more views. nice man.
I can't get over how freakin brilliant you are. Truly.
2:14 haha funny number
I so lost my shit at 2:08.
This is giving me emotional whiplash. I love it!
youre genius knows no boundaries. just yesterday i researched some stupid conspiracies and this new series of yours just rubs me the right way.
This must be what an InfoWars episode looks like.