Why we get defensive-and how to stop | Khailing Neoh | TEDxUnity Park

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  • Опубліковано 23 лис 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 72

  • @vishnukiran6162
    @vishnukiran6162 4 місяці тому +7

    Absolutely loved the following quotes from the video:
    1. "Your ego will die a thousand death but it will still return tomorrow"
    2. "No matter how many wins you have with this struggle against yourself, you'll have a moment of weakness"
    3. "Do we not destroy our enemies when we make them our friends"
    Particularly, the second one is very powerful and aptly puts into perspective how discipline and the struggle with yourself is never ending and life long.
    I hope all of us keep progressing in our struggles with ourselves. Power to each and every one of us!

  • @MrCandyeveryday
    @MrCandyeveryday 5 місяців тому +14

    "You are not your worst moments and it does not define you" -- this is so encouraging! Thank you so much!

    • @MisconceivedPancit
      @MisconceivedPancit 3 місяці тому

      Yes definitely!! She's an example, that, not just because she's visually attractive and well spoken, as many of also some of the male presenters are....I felt she'd be the type to draw great influences. I literally felt like she looked into my, life.

  • @vishnukiran6162
    @vishnukiran6162 4 місяці тому +2

    Learning to accept the compliment which is actually an insecurity is so essential to our lives. So many times, we keep getting lost amongst our insecurities without even realizing that they may not be completely true. Such external forces to rescue us from the well that we dig ourselves can be so helpful for our well-being.

  • @MisconceivedPancit
    @MisconceivedPancit 3 місяці тому +1

    What a profound presentation. She actually touches on so much that I've let eat at me.

  • @Ang36914
    @Ang36914 5 місяців тому +11

    Very insightful talk. This explains why my ex-friend was always so defensive, even when I tried my best to communicate non-judgementally.

    • @billpetersen298
      @billpetersen298 4 місяці тому +1

      I’m here, for the same thing. My wife, is quick to defend herself with anger. Or when she wants to talk about a touchy subject. It’s coming in guns blazing.
      I’m always baffled, with how to respond. By not taking to bait.

  • @lilibethvilella
    @lilibethvilella 5 місяців тому +14

    Just finished reading THE SUN ALWAYS PIERCES THROUGH on healing mind heart soul

  • @nancyott7486
    @nancyott7486 5 місяців тому +4

    Fantastic! I can relate to each example she shared and also start applying her solutions right away. I love this.

  • @Jayleenyc
    @Jayleenyc 5 місяців тому

    I also learned to lead with fear and not love and that responding with anger was the normal reaction.

  • @Last_Chance.
    @Last_Chance. 5 місяців тому

    You are living the dream my brother. I wish so bad that I could afford a fast surron. You are my hero brother. God bless you

  • @kishoresoma6534
    @kishoresoma6534 5 місяців тому +1

    In the delicate balance of relationships, moments of joy often coexist with deeper emotional challenges. Ego frequently emerges in the form of defensiveness or perfectionism, driven by an instinct to shield one’s vulnerabilities. Recognizing and managing these reactions is crucial for fostering authentic connections.
    A simple yet profound approach involves acknowledging feelings, accepting them, and continuing with grace. This means understanding one’s emotions, accepting personal flaws, and striving to grow. Embracing vulnerability and gratitude in interactions can transform relationships, shifting focus from individual insecurities to collective strength.
    Ultimately, navigating ego is about cultivating self-awareness and compassion, leading to more genuine and fulfilling relationships.

  • @moonlightliberty
    @moonlightliberty 5 місяців тому

    She has such a lovely voice - I'd love to listen to a podcast or youtube channel of hers!

  • @victornoagbodji
    @victornoagbodji 5 місяців тому +2

    Awesome speaker! Thanks for sharing 🙏

  • @michelleschmitt3926
    @michelleschmitt3926 5 місяців тому +1

    I really needed this today, thank you.

  • @pradipbhatt797
    @pradipbhatt797 5 місяців тому +13

    Great & inspirational discussion 💯👏👏

  • @ivangohome
    @ivangohome 5 місяців тому +6

    An actually useful lecture 👍

  • @ganjei5236
    @ganjei5236 5 місяців тому +1

    Thank you so much for this talk. I can relate SO much to everything you said and I've been working on those behavior & thought patterns for quite some time. Your words help and reassure me :)

  • @angelorajendram92
    @angelorajendram92 5 місяців тому +2

    Thank you, I can relate to this!

  • @beautyandfinance9993
    @beautyandfinance9993 5 місяців тому +1

    Thank you for sharing your story ❤

  • @anep.a5273
    @anep.a5273 5 місяців тому +4

    Great Ted talk!!

  • @TruthsVeryOwn
    @TruthsVeryOwn 5 місяців тому +4

    Thank you!

    • @TruthsVeryOwn
      @TruthsVeryOwn 5 місяців тому +1

      We appreciate your honesty!

  • @Vishnustudypurpose
    @Vishnustudypurpose 5 місяців тому +1

    Insightful... Thankyou!

  • @tamikovacs3887
    @tamikovacs3887 5 місяців тому +7

    Other animals have consciousness as well

    • @MeRia035
      @MeRia035 5 місяців тому

      Yep. When I hear people still repeating outdated, false (and often insulting) theories regarding our animal friends it's a struggle nott to get angry.

  • @pluribus_unum
    @pluribus_unum 5 місяців тому +4

    As welcome as a fresh cuppa, and way more useful in the long-term.

  • @عليجبنه-ه1ذ
    @عليجبنه-ه1ذ 5 місяців тому

    It's good to see different people.

  • @simrankaim727
    @simrankaim727 5 місяців тому +1

    Yeah its preety cool knowing where this eco come from so we can 😂remove that 😊amazing i am in just love being invoiled such good plateform thanks tedx😊😊😊😊😊😊

  • @djackson4605
    @djackson4605 5 місяців тому +1

    A lot of people that are prone to self-pity and making excuses will not accept this message well. I'm being terse but a lot of losers will never adopt self-reflection techniques that will improve their behavior. Its far easier (and more common) to just blame outside sources rather than try.

    • @MeRia035
      @MeRia035 5 місяців тому +1

      Oh my gosh, where you wrote 'most losers will never adopt self reflection techniques' I read it as 'most bosses will never...' lol

  • @TianasFrog973
    @TianasFrog973 5 місяців тому +9

    Jumped to over a thousand in seven minutes

  • @ClassySassyManes
    @ClassySassyManes 5 місяців тому +26

    WOW, all of a sudden I feel like the worse parent in the world

    • @eleven.eleven.
      @eleven.eleven. 5 місяців тому +23

      If you were my mom, I would want you to know that it is never too late to do differently. One day in the future you can watch this again and say, "I no longer feel like the worst parent." You are good inside and you can change. Good luck! ❤

    • @911canihelpu
      @911canihelpu 5 місяців тому +1

      your username made that obvious

    • @MandyRoy425
      @MandyRoy425 5 місяців тому +13

      But now you know better so you can do better. ❤

    • @lynn_thinks
      @lynn_thinks 5 місяців тому +4

      Insight gives great opportunities for growth. 👍

    • @tlombo3740
      @tlombo3740 5 місяців тому +3

      The coolest thing is you're able to acknowledge and recognize where you can improve. All of us can relate to some things that were mentioned. Now you could be the best mother if you apply the things that you've learned. Lord bless you sis. Ask God for strength. Jesus is the way

  • @choi3an
    @choi3an 5 місяців тому +1

    tysm ❤

  • @Scooby4ever
    @Scooby4ever 5 місяців тому +1

    Very smart girl 💯

  • @carlschleg5822
    @carlschleg5822 5 місяців тому

    UBETYA AND GRATEFUL
    YOU ROCK GIRL
    HUGS2U

  • @Jayleenyc
    @Jayleenyc 5 місяців тому

    This is DBT and CBT.

  • @ptcosmos
    @ptcosmos 5 місяців тому +2

    10:30 I love your channel and your audience, I'm gonna comment on ALL your videos for years until I reach your level of subscribers.

  • @Jayleenyc
    @Jayleenyc 5 місяців тому

    I thought some of the examples she gave that she said were bc of ego were self esteem issues.

  • @BrianMcInnis87
    @BrianMcInnis87 5 місяців тому +2

    1:44 Not true at all. There's tremendous benefit for Emily learning the crucial fact that a great many people who have very good sides also have very bad sides.

    • @jaquwanda
      @jaquwanda 2 місяці тому

      I don’t think that was the point

  • @lovewin555
    @lovewin555 5 місяців тому

    ❤❤

  • @TianasFrog973
    @TianasFrog973 5 місяців тому +7

    Wow every minute another hundred people

    • @notverysmart42069
      @notverysmart42069 5 місяців тому +2

      uh.. yea... this channel has 41 million subscribers id be worried if it wasnt doing that

  • @erok268
    @erok268 5 місяців тому +4

    Lol i hope emily isnt her real name. And they know now for sure.

  • @HappinessTheBrand
    @HappinessTheBrand 5 місяців тому

    🍿 let’s go

  • @paulapaulina9132
    @paulapaulina9132 5 місяців тому

    💐🤗❤️

  • @owenpeller6471
    @owenpeller6471 5 місяців тому +3

    In case no one told you animals have their own thoughts and ceilings just like people. You are so mistaken.

    • @Tuiphan
      @Tuiphan 5 місяців тому +4

      Acknowledge your ego.

    • @Ang36914
      @Ang36914 5 місяців тому +1

      But I can’t imagine animals having egos, except for cats lol.

  • @IMeanMachine101
    @IMeanMachine101 5 місяців тому +1

    this sounds like ADHD

  • @bwadez
    @bwadez 5 місяців тому +1

    Step 1 should be don't do a Ted talk 😂

  • @kylehawker6557
    @kylehawker6557 5 місяців тому

    I already know this isn't worth watching as it is a woman telling others how to get over them selves.

    • @octiiXpies
      @octiiXpies 5 місяців тому +7

      You seem a little... defensive 👀

  • @1sportsfan
    @1sportsfan 5 місяців тому +1

    Emily & Becca. Must be white women.

    • @djackson4605
      @djackson4605 5 місяців тому

      Yes certain people have typical names. Some people make up random, long ones... The preferable choice is quite clear.

  • @Lolcoca
    @Lolcoca 5 місяців тому +4

    Why don’t you care about people ! Just focus on your life girl !
    It’s a little rough what I say but they are not paying your bills or your taxes so do what you like and want ! (And peaceful)
    And trust yourself and your Gut and your INSTINCT ! That’s the key !
    Everything you do is for yourself not for having external validation for others ! 🤍🤍🤍