How a Male Narcissist is Enmeshed with his Mother & Sisters
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- Опубліковано 24 сер 2024
- In this episode, I talk about How a male narcissist's first and foremost enabler is his mother. The relationship between them is characterized by enmeshment and co-enabling, where the mother perpetuates her son's inflated self-worth with unwavering praise, dismisses his harmful behaviors as insignificant, and he, in return, treats her like his wife.
She instils in him a deep-seated sense of entitlement, leading him to believe that his needs supersede those of others.
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Treating his mother like his wife is so spot on
Not in my case. My narc brother hates his mother. And everyone else.
My ex boyfriend treated his dad like his wife. So odd, I felt like I was competing for time and attention from his divorced dad.
And his mother treating me badly. She would always comment that No woman in their family ever worked outside the home. He worked for the family business but I brought home 3x's his salary. He NEVER complained about the money in our checking account,,, even used my last deposited paycheck to pay for his divorce lawyer retainer! You're spot on about is sisters too; With mother long gone, the sisters are still protecting him. They eliminated my child from their mother's obituary! They didn't want the world to know that he abandoned his child! I must believe that there will be a FINAL judgement! Thanks, Danish for this video. I know that I'm NOT crazy.
In my case, it's the sister. This is so my life. Sad but true.
Yup or his sister it was almost ‘incest’ like they micro-managed each other’s life and the emeshment and entitlement was so extr. and weird that it’s hard to even put in words.
Married for 37 years and not accepted by them.its a circle of six of them the mother is the ring leader, controls everyone.
Correct
Yes.
This is exactly what happened to me!! When I decided to leave my ex narc, everyone in his family turned their backs on me! When the narc is clearly wrong!! This is so true!!
They created him, and in times of trouble, they're just going to go with what they know. Sigh...🙄
I can relate. You don't need their approval or acceptance.
Going through this now. Ex husband beat on our son and is now cut from seeing my son. His family is all in france- he’s French- and his sister came out trying to get my son back. This morning I got a friend request from my ex MIL. I went on Facebook and blocked her and my ex. F them.
My 11 year old son doesn’t want to see dad and I respect that. I put up with 18 years of abuse and my son doesn’t deserve to be abused. No one does.
I’m the one that has to clean up the emotional mess my ex creates. I spend hours upon hours talking to my kids about what is actually happening. I’m always tired and I don’t even live with the ex. Their grandmother is trying to get to my kids and she is in for heartbreak. She created that monster. No thank you. Bye. ❤
@@RebuildingWithClarity have a question.
The things he said in the video most of them happened to me but with a few changes. My MIL always used to support her son in from of him, fulfilling his needs and demands but she also pressurized me to fulfill all his demands so that he doesn't get angry,but she used to point out his mistakes whenever he was not around.
When he used to be around, she always supported him that he is always right and my husband always wanted me to go with him wherever he wants to go not with his family. Does that mean he is not narcissist?
@@shipraabbi7211 I'm not a doctor to diagnose but he could be a narcissist and come from a narcissistic family. They groom you into obeying and no matter how much you listen and do what they want they will always want more. Enough is never enough. They are never satisfied and the mother is just a "flying monkey." She is enabling his behavior by always being available and encouraging you to walk on eggshells to appease him.
If you see this coming to you; RUN as fast as you can before you end up in a vile custody battle.
💯
Hhhhh it's like u know what happened to me ❤🙏
Run is right
I have no words. This video, Danish, is so spot on it gave me chills. My husband and his mother were quite the dynamic duo. Their secret conversations happened while he was at work. He would never talk to her on the phone at home when I was present. I could write a book on the weird relationship those two had. Yes, she was his mommy wife. Gives me the creeps to even think about it.
Same here......I went through that tooo....as long as I'm there.....I could see no conversation between them....u r so right Danish.....
Yes just yes
Me 2 lol mommy wife
I could’ve written that comment. You’re describing my covert narcissist ex-boyfriend. it’s like he had this love affair with his mother. She was his love, his confidante. It was like a romance minus anything sexual.
@@anne-marie6098 My mother in law gave me the impression that she would have loved a "closer" relationship with my ex.
I felt like they ganged up on me & I was the outsider.
After I put him out his oldest daughter came beating at my door and threatening to vandalize my car. His mom is no longer alive but his aunt and the other women (sister, nieces) in the family treated him like a golden god. I baked him a cake and caught him telling her it wasn't as good as hers. I no longer fall for the "if he treats his mom well he will treat you well"
This is a generational problem, I have witnessed a mother passing on instructions on how to maintained the narcissistic behaviour.
You're right it's generational. That's why there are counselling programs called STOPPING THE CYCLE OF ABUSE. These jetks enlist and associate with like minded goons.
Damn. Your right. ❤
Yup, my grandmother and her narc son (my uncle), she was telling him to hit his wife to keep her in line. Horrendous
Indeed. After my mom passed my sister’s blame shifting and gaslighting got so bad, it hit me like Thor’s hammer that my toxic mom lives on.
Very very true
Omg, I wish I’d seen this 8 years ago. So, so true! Especially the treating his mom like his wife! Ugh!!!!! Absolutely hit the nail on the head. This dynamic is creepy beyond belief and I am appalled I got involved in such a messed up, dysfunctional, cult-like narc family dynamic.. He was an alcoholic and verbally abusive. First red flag - he still (then and now!) lives with mommy dearest.
Forgive yourself and start healing.
I used to call her "momma bae".
True, true, but the monster they created got way out of hand. First, he had long talks with his Mother, per phone, each evening after work. Even they.. gave up on him later though. He broke many laws with his behavior. His siblings got the inheritance and he had to scream at funerals and in courts to get anything. The family seemed polite but very cold. Their lies, especially those about me, created by the Mother, were shown to be total lies. The Truth was my support and weapon. His Mother arranged for one of her wealthy female friends, to take care of him, after her death. This woman paid his rent etc. She offered him a house in exchange for his assistance. He declined. That would have been a responsibility. He was somewhat helpless, with his world view. The Mother had hated her Husband for years. I suppose that her son was a substitute, for what she destroyed daily, in her marriage. The parents ironed out the situation later somewhat. The Narcissist was left alone to fend for himself. He preyed on the weak, those with eating disorders or alcoholics. He stalks all of his past relationships, as if he would own them, for a lifetime. Many were deceased. He also has a photo album of his past girlfriends, which he shows to people, as if the photos were trophies. For whatever reason, alcohol abuse gave him courage. In this state, he became as authoritative as his Father, without having earned the position. He never accepted responsibility. He ran from it, wanting the benefits, but not the work. He couldn't do the work, because his passions were elsewhere. He had car races with the police. He would travel great distances to repair some household machine for his parents. He wanted the inheritance. He really needed approval but sought to get it from strangers, who he could leave at the bar or at his work. They would never really care to know the real him. It's better that way.
Same. Hes 56 and she still washes his underwear ! 😂
Same. Only he quit drinking, nothing changed.
This is got to be the best description of how a narcissist is created. Thank you so much
Yes the narcissist family are in on it. They know the outcome because the narc has done this many times, to me it was like walking into a cult !!! Yes I knew that his family were more important to him than I was. All narcs are human tapeworms. But I thank him because he gave me the chance to find someone better.
I refer to my ex's family as "The Children of The Corn"😂
This was my life for 20 years... never knew about narcissism allowing the entire family to gleefully prey on me for a lifetime... they do not even protect the narcisisst's children, their own grandchildren, from the narcissist's abuse... as you said it is not just their love of the narc that makes them do this, there is a huge pay off and the hyenas that they are, they hang on for that...
I really wish this was talked about more, especially in the religious communities. It’s crazy how often this happens yet nobody talks about it.
Religious narcissists are the worst! The Religious leaders tortured and murdered Jesus because He exposed their hypocrisy...😔 He came so we could have life abundantly not be enslaved in man-made traditions and churchianity.
Once you know the Truth, the Truth will set you free 🙌
the devil's greatest trick...... 🙏🏽💜
Religious communities more often than not; serve as safe havens for narcissists. They usually find perfect people to prey on. l’ve seen this firsthand.
Agree with u dear...I am darn suffering....had gone through depressions
Religious communities are biased, and that's why it's never talked about.
It's emotional incest between the narc and his mother. She never let him separate; individuate.
I wonder how this will be for my son, living with narc dad, alienated from me 12 yrs so definitely not enmeshed with me but he may be enmeshed with his dad's live in partner who he's been with since i was pregnant with my son. My x loves that he " won" our son from me and that he replaced his mother with his GF.
It's so sick.
These ppl aren't human i swear.
It’s happened to me my mother make me enmeshed with her and end up not having friends + girlfriend + and job my life is worse
@@best9264did you grow up with your father
This video gave me chills as it’s EXACTLY 💯 the situation with my husband, this mother, and family. I am so happy I came across this video as it is somewhat comforting and validating to what I’ve been experiencing through their collective abuse. Thank you for this. If I could give a million likes 👍🏻 for this video, I would.
Holy sh*t. I’ve literally never heard something more accurate than everything I went through for 3 years. All the stories I could share boil down to any of the things you said down to the detail of even the secret conversations making you feel isolated and ganged up on. Im still emotional from watching this. I needed it. I feel for anyone who has gone through this. My ex is so extremely enmeshed with his mom and his family enables it all unknowingly on the outside. Believed him when he said everything was my fault.
Same! What's worse, I didn't speak their language, so they were able to talk about me right in front of me. I would hear my name in their conversations. I would tell him time and time again that it was rude that they spoke their language in front of me but it never stopped. In fact, he would blame me for it saying that if I only sat in the middle of them then it would have stopped. The only smart thing I did was not allow my kids to learn his language, so that I wasn't the only one isolated. That did nothing to change the situation.
Danish, you are spot on. I have endured this exact sick bahaviors by my in-laws. They all saw it and chose to turn their heads away. And yes, he does treat his mother like his wife.
Same here 🤢
My narcissist was Mediterranean and his mother never learned English. The two of them were really odd together. You described it perfectly.
Danish, this video is absolutely the truth as this is exactly how he, his mother and sisters behaved with me. I was always the outsider and so were our children. Such a lonely existence. He supplied them with money and his time.
Sanj, now you know it's not you, it never was; nothing you could ever have done would be 'right'! You can now surely stop trying to be 'one of them' and become your own happy, confident self. Your children will soon learn which is genuine love and which is put-on!
@@ilashankar9031 Yes it's takes a long time to get to that point. 26 years of mind boggling behaviour and not understanding why he behaved like that. Now it all makes senses. He did blame me and our children for his poor behaviour. I had a nervous breakdown, my eldest went through years of depression as teenager. They ruin so many lives. Thank you for your lovely words. Hugs and peace.
@@sanjmalik6282 Oh, so sorry about that. I hope you and your children are physically safe and at peace. ❤️
You can learn to handle emotional and mental safety and strength if you are left alone physically.
@@ilashankar9031 we are safe now 🙏 thank you. No contact with him or his family.
I'm suffering with the same issue 😞 Feeling depressed
Excellent!! I see this explanation nowhere!!
This is the real issue..
I’m sick of the focus being that narcissists are ‘wounded’
I agree. Every narcissist that I have ever known has been indulged from birth. In the olden days, they called it "spoiled rotten".
So true :.. wounded and going ok to wound others.
@@janedoe5229 I think you have an extremely important perspective. Is it always extreme trauma in childhood or is it also and or spoiled
@@jbrown2908 I believe you are correct. I was groomed to become a monster growing up around them and I paid the ultimate prices to not become one.
After our first date he talked on the phone with his mother till 2am. I thought it was a little weird, but I didn't know how much of a red flag it was! After we got married, we visited them on a "vacation" where she literally told me we were staying to live, and I needed to call my family and have them ship out my whole house! Durring the course of our marriage, not one dinner where she didn't call in the middle and have a long conversation. Not a single disagreement where she wasn't on the phone with him and all the lies they could cook up together. Yes, they are quite a pair.. 🤢🤮☹️
Because she is the wife.
Everyone needs to watch this video, before they get engaged or enter a relationship. Thank you again Danish for making such a bungled situation so clear.
Too late for many of us.
Exactly what happened to me..for 9 years. And I gave all to him & his family... But now determined to free my child & myself .
Yep! The narc I deal with, his mommy talks to him like he’s still 5 years old, it makes me sick. Him and I got into it this one time, his mommy called me and was talking to me like I was a 5 year old. It was very odd to me and I told her, “You might talk to his sorry a** like that but you’re not talking to me like that.” 😆
In my case , my narc ex mother was talking to him like a toddlers but treated me adult😂
So I also gave replies as adult & saved my self-respect.
😂😂😂😂
@@jbrown2908 she had me on speaker with his sorry a** right there. He chimed in saying that I can’t talk to her like that. I started laughing and gave them both some very choice words and they hung up on me. 😆
@@beingpallavi3272same , my mother in law was the same
My narcs sisters always giving him admiration and act understanding to me. They've made him think how he's living and treating people is fine. His mother always defends and sells him to the public, even after he tried to attack her and disrespected her. Smh
@@jbrown2908 I'm not but I'm allowing him to stay because nobody wants to take him in. He has now been label schizophrenic. I am moving and renting my place out so he has no choice but to find somewhere now.
My husband comes from a huge family and the entire family are a hornets nest of narcissists….they are so enmeshed and they think their culture, food and family are the best in the world. Loudly brag on themselves constantly and put down everyone else in the most arrogant way. Their music is the best, their salsa and the list goes on and on…They baby all the men in the family and my sister in laws are the sweetest emotionally abused women. It’s so sad:(. It does border on emotional incest. They talk bad about everyone who isn’t of their family and culture but unfortunately they are very attractive and charismatic to people who don’t have to deal with them closely. I was from a dysfunctional family myself and believed him when he convinced me how close and amazing his family is. Throughout years of this strangeness I learned that they are the exact opposite. I’ve learned the language, invited them in my house but I will never be good enough for the Golden boy and after all these years I can’t take it anymore:( the covert, snide insults and weird, creepy closeness just plain grosses me out these days and I’m sick of it. He is taking them to the airport today after a visit and it’s gonna take me a week to shake this awful and yucky feeling off. (Venting) 🙏🏼
It's so weird how a little bit of melanin makes a family proud of their mental illness.
His mother and sister are payed cheer leaders😅.They get lots of gifts and money for boosting his false ego.
Yes my father was a perfect example of this kind of narcissism. His mom was super narcissistic who pampered him, inflated his ego like a big balloon and left him on my mother to bear all the consequences of his cruel, narcissistic side. The grand mother relaxed and quietly enjoyed the abuse my father was perpetrating on my mother. My father cursed, hit, belittled my mom and used every inch of her self - all her life. In fact, my wonderful mother died much sooner than most people live. The above video tells my mom's story and I was a helpless victim growing up watching this all.
😢
Yes,I had him,his mum,his sister and his niece against me.i has never experienced anything like that and only when i started educating myself on narcissism I understood that dynamic.thank you Danish for explaining it so well.if’s been a few years for me of no contact with them but I kind of still needed to hear that…
I had similar, I had him, his Toxic Mother,his Father, Brother and his Mother's Sister, I was relieved when he discarded me, and close to a total meltdown, never again.These people are so Toxic.🤔🚩🏃♀️
I moved to his country and constantly felt devalued by his mother and his sisters comment. While in a hospital post delivery of our second child, felt neglected because he was spending time in his mother’s house … I came home to a cold house snd an empty refrigerator, as if I was not welcomed. When I could t stop him from sexual abuse and moved out if the bedroom, his mother called me with the threats. He reported to his mother and his siblings that he was abandoned by me. I hear you. Thank you for sharing.
@@jbrown2908 thank you for supportive feedback. I am still stuck with the narcissist, but gaining assertiveness by self compassion and self care. Making progress in boundaries setting. Grieving too after I realized the damage of narcissistic abuse. Self healing is empowering, so this what I will count on… best wishes to you. 🌷☮️
@@gorunsko31 Oh, cold house and empty refrigerator; that too when you've gone through so much for your, his, second child! Unforgivable!
Do take care of yourself. This man will never have your back, neither does he care about the children (they are only 'supply' to him). Be ready to leave at short notice, with some stowed away cash and important documents, a packed bag, a safe place to go to, transport, both your children's papers (birth certificates, medical records, I'd cards etc) all done discreetly, without raising any suspicion.
Don't get guilt tripped into giving him 'one more chance'! 👍💪
@@gorunsko31 in my case it was very similar.They all gave me the worst treatment post delivery and called me mentally ill only because i stayed in bed recovering from very traumatic C-section. Only narcissists/psychopaths can stoop soooo low.even animals look after the mofher and babies.
Yoh this so spot on. Very very accurate. I went through the same thing, when I exposed his mother for being toxic everyone ( his siblings+ mother) turned against me. Gossips, backstabbing etc. when he confessed of cheating, I knew it was time to leave the nonsense behind. Not even an apology nothing instead blaming me for everything. But since I cared more about my peace I didn't care anymore...just wanted to be far away from his screwed up family...2 years of healing I learnt and know how to spot them well now. Thank you for shedding the light💯👌
This is so true . The family are just as wicked
Wow thanks for this , after learning about my husbands years of infidelity , escorts , secret child and obsessive porn use, I went to his sister for support , in stead she laughed his behaviour off as tho he was a naughty 12 year old told me to go into couples counselling. When I refused to enter counselling with him and proceeded with divorce he spread vicious lies about me , his whole family rallied behind him and ostracised me .This was a man whom I had cared for thro a severe illness and had four children . I had been part of the family for 30 years and had assumed I too was a valued and respected , not so , all I was was his caregiver and baby machine .
,
You are enough. Stay free, sorry for those decades of hurt. They turn on Truth tellers like a pack of wolves, they love the lie. I hope you have peace 🕊🙏
Thank you🙏
Oh my god....this is 100 percent correct.... I found all those characteristics you said on my narccistic ex..... Somehow I escaped from him....after my breakup he suddenly got married to another girl.....( Which is actually he carried on along with my relationship)
They are all emotional thieves in these type of families, one member goes out to rob supply and bring it home to the rest of them , they all know that they are thieves and when caught they blame the victim for having left the door open , See them as trash and remove yourself very quietly and skillfully from their rotten dirty ignorant circle and don't look back .
My ex boyfriend's family is just like how you described. After showing proof of his bad behaviour and even screenshots of him cheating and slandering me nothing was being done about it. His mother treats him like a surrogate husband since she went through a divorce and his sisters are very two-faced. His family would talk shit about me behind my back when I was in my room and thought I wouldn't hear it, then they would switch up and play victim when called out.
Enablers are a lot worse than narcissists because they allow all the bullshit to happen and turn a blind eye to someone suffering. It's bystander syndrome.
The emotional incest is disgusting and I wish I could have avoided it sooner.
It is with profound sincerity that I desire that immense awareness of these most dysfunctional and toxic people end their relationship with empaths and that empaths avoid them like the plague. There is too much of narc behavior in society, especially toxic family dynamics. These aren’t fit for marriage nor to be parents. Leave this interaction quickly. They aren’t happy unless they are ganging up on the chosen outsider, which is typically the empathic one.
Hi Danish, the words you spoke was exactly my life for 5 years. It was hell. Now i came out from all these emotional assassinations . I can feel my peace and happiness now. Thank you for your valuable awareness and keep going. Belated happy birthday Danish. May God bless you.
I was so lucky that I had educated myself on narcissistic abuse and all it entails so I was ready for them!! Got the hell out. GHOSTED THEM ALL, 3 years No Contact😊😊😊. I was so angry for being targeted
9 years here - no contact. He's in the rear view mirror. Wasted 20 yrs on him.
Well sh*t. I wish I'd had access to information like this back in the early 00's. It would have saved me years of torment. I got out in 2017 and I live our two children, but he and his family put me through hell.
Narcissist victim's family always expect a fast recovery but that abused person needs some break to heal from that physical and mental trauma but sometimes no one acknowledge about this. Dear people please let them free to heal don't push to do something for their personal and financial growth... It's so painful
Unfortunately, I suspected a weird family dynamic in the beginning and now my soon to be ex-husband is most definitely the surrogate husband to his narcissistic mother and everything in this video is fact . This is why I never felt comfortable talking to his family members about anything because I knew like you said it was a closed circuit that I was not welcome to enter. In other words this was not my family and they would not side with me, or at least admit he was wrong for all the hurtful things he did to me.
This is all true. I'll share when my brain can. It's a lot pain.
Exactly what I went through for 40yrs 😢
Thank you for this, it is exactly my life! My husband's family has all treated me so poorly, it is just sickening. I want nothing to do with them. He is their hero, coming to the rescue with money and assistance all behind my back. When he wouldn't even give me $5.00 if I needed it. He talks to them all behind my back as well. At the night of his mother's funeral, one sister asked "Why are you so upset?" "Mom never liked you anyway" This is the ultimate long lasting form of abuse from him and them as well.
Wow Danesh
17years into this relationship. 11 years into our marriage, I only discovered, 3months ago, that his traits were that of a covert narcissist.
About 14years ago I confided in his sister about his sinister behaviour. And asked her just to ask him why he did what he did to me. I see now, why I got nothing back
Then because i wanted his mother
To know what I'm dealing with, also asking her to talk to him, so i could do better, and know what sets him off. And causes him to do what he consistently does.
Again, zero feedback. And clearly, now that it was explained by you , 8 understand everything 📌
Indifference. She just listened to me complain.. that's all
Thank you Danesh, for that invaluable insight
They are nightmares!! The first time he punched me in the head I called his mom , she literally laughed. Said he was over tired. When he gave me a black eye, his sister shamed me for talking bad about them. I get in trouble any time I speak up, he has my entire family in the palms of his hand. His sister tried to kick me out & take my daughter, they have been trying to take her from me since she was born. His dad beat his mom up , the entire family are screamers . The mom lives in Greece . None of them can be around eachother because they all scream at each other. When the dad got cancer, the mom stayed in Greece & made the sister take care of him, which he turned to me for help, & the sister chased me out( I worked in nursing) she left him alone every day for 12-18 hours a day , everyday. He starved to death , was completely skin & bones (not cancer, starvation) he died due to major organ shut down from starvation. She got away with it. That is neglect & elderly abuse. These ppl are the most evil vile ppl. She’s a college professor & involved in every Greek Chanel. Covert narcissist💯. She volunteers to help for her image. I watched her turn her back on a real child who needed help, while she helps the rich kids out. It has been 20 years of hell every day. The screaming, the control of EVERYTHING !! Even food, unless it’s a holiday where guests will be attending. They are all about image & maintaining a false image to the public. Behind closed doors they are cold & nasty ppl!! They say they are Christian’s but are nothing like real Christian’s . Their whole way of living & treating others says they do NOT know him, God. God is truth, love, justice, mercy, forgiveness. These ppl are liars, they lie to cover lies. They lie to themselves. They cause so much problems then blame me for everything. Even if I wasn’t around. His sister tried to use my daughter as her emotional support dog! She wouldn’t let my daughter speak up about anything unless it was GOOD about them. They teach others to self abandon. They are sick sick ppl!!!
What on earth!!?? This is horrifying. The sister needed to be reported.
They will alienate you - if u leave him - you will never see your kids again - and then they have the audacity to haunt you when they are dead
It's a wicked spirit!!
@@jbrown2908 thanks
My husband & his mother, sister and nephew are so close knit and they are always put first. It feels almost like incest!!
Currently happening to me... this channel is really a life saving for me.... Thank God I discovered this channel
100% true Danish. Hubbies mother ,father, his bro and 2 sys , all are supporting his irresponsible nature. My ex husband made his mother as nominee for his insurance policies, not me. It was not just narcissist hub ,but hell filled with supporting devils
OMG! You are the second person saying that. I thought I was the only one whose ex husband made his mom the nominee for all his assets, and on top of that, he lied to me that I am his nominee... BS.
Oh God. OH GOD HOW COULD YOU PUT THIS SOOOO ACCURATELY!!!
It's like marrying into a toxic cult.
My little bro is EXACTLY what my mother wanted. Hes the perfect little narcissist who the family treats just like her. No thanks! I got better things to do with my time...i do feel really bad for my sis in law. He's absolutely destroyed her. She's a shell of what she was when they were when dating in high school ...
My older brother "precious" is the same way. He cant do nothing wrong in my parents eyes. . In fact he is still living at home with them and will be 50 this year. I call him their permanent squatter.
@@leathalynn8745 I got stuck living at mom's, while she went living with with GC sibling, for extended periods of time basically as his live in nanny. But the projections at me for being stuck at her house, unacceptable, I was badly devalued, while the narc was elevated. (in retrospect, I look at the situation much like a video game, the NPD had the difficulty setting put on easy, while mine was cranked up to maximum, and then the comparisons were made like that). The narc followed mommy, and daddies path in life, exactly what they wanted, education, jobs etc (Yup I use those terms when describing the NPD's enmeshment/emotional incest! mommy/daddy). I call my sibling/mother/father combo, the prison wardens. They controlled the money, and held it over my head (dangling the proverbial carrot as it's know in industry terms, or breadcrumbing) It's like running on a treadmill, and never getting anywhere being around them! Their patronizing, condescending brainwashing is nothing but flat out TOXIC.
Wow!, Emotional incest between mother/ father, and narcissist son. This is the second time I've heard this term. I believe that there was some incest within the narcissist family home, and I only known of one kind. Now I'm must look up what exactly is emotional incest is.
@@jbrown2908 she does not talk to me.
@@leathalynn8745 im so sorry. It sucks. But I have to say I'm stealing this pet name because that is exactly the case wirh me too. My mom jokes about how if he was to ever get divorced she knows he would be living in her basement 🤦🏻♀️ that is NOT flex mom. Sigh. Best thing I ever did for myself and my little fam is go nc. My family is crazy. Lol
You couldn’t have said this any better!! You are absolutely correct!! Thank you for this helpful information and now I know for sure he & his narcissistic family are true NARCS learned by their mother
You are absolutely right. I have experienced this. Thanks for spreading awareness. Awareness is the key to freedom. It is very important to appreciate your hard work which you are doing in making these videos.
Yes I was abused😭😭😭my mental and physical health destroyed completely by those demons...
This is EXACTLY what I experienced. So grateful they are ALL Now in my Past✌️
So true. Again you are spot on. The parents do not connect / attach to the Victim person but sees it as some kind of slave that Can be used for their sons purpose Ex Money or other predetorial status. they are so detached emotionel and reject nonverbally.
Spot on with me.
Abused, drained & isolated to the core.
Still enmeshed even after 13 yrs of marriage, always go around with parents & siblings leaving me behind
Danish,i m so lucky dat i cud save myself because of you only.only u can understand my problem even though u don't know me.u r a great blessing to me.
Lmao this explains my ex husband and his mother to a tee. I learned what the odepus complex is from being with him. Its also awakened my interest in studying psychology She is a bona-fide gynocrat. His mother THINKS she's a marriage counselor.. ma'am how are u a counselor but you and your husband sleep in separate bedrooms for years 😂Im so glad i was able to break free of them
😂😂😂😂
Seriously! These ppl may think themselves as president of their own kingdom.
@@beingpallavi3272 they definitely do. The delusion is past comical and veering toward concerning
@@beingpallavi3272 kingdoms have kings
Omg- I think you’re talking about my ex marriage too! So crazy, it’s like these narc families are cookie cutters placed around society to fuck us up- as we ARE the normal ones, and we were the “suckers” to fall into their trap of lies!!
Yes..yes .yessir. .Mr.Bashir knows the intricate details inside these rotten group dynamics ..& exposes them mercilessly ..Thank you Sir..hats off to you.. watching from Germany 👍🏾🇩🇪
WOW. THIS IS RIGHT ON. If he doesnt want to cut the ungodly ties/relationship with mom/siblings...LEAVE
Thank you. This video has been validating to all we go through in dysfunctional family dynamics,each and every word said so far is correct. Its surprising how such pattern are so so correct in these families .Narc golden child,scapegoat ,enablers creating toxicity is so true
Let the healing begin. Thank you. Shows exactly what kind of man he is and shows me even more that i dont want a person like that.
OMG I HAVE BEEN THINKING THIS FOREVER!! THIS IS ABSOLUTELY SPOT ON. When the mother refuse to respect a boundary no one says anything and they all join in
His family (meaning his brother, cousins, and aunts and uncles. His parents, who were bitterly divorced when the kids were teens, were also lovely to me. After finally realizing my husband is a narcissist, I could look back on the behavior of his now deceased mother and realized she, too, was a narcissist and suddenly her strange behaviors made sense. My husband lived with her after their parents divorced and his brother with his father. She had isolated herself from everyone else and had no family of her own.) is lovely and very fond of me. I left him 6 months ago and they're still lovely to me! 🤔
You're very lucky that they treat you well! My experience is completely different! Bordering on slander, defamation of character and being downright liars!!
Research the term "flying monkeys"they will flatter you with false empathy to gain knowledge about you to report back to the narc. When it comes back on you try not to take it personally, they are addicted to gossip like a drug. Betrayal is in their nature just like a dog returns to its own vomit. Fortify yourself, silence is golden - when you are silent you will find out their true nature...
Thank You,Danish🤝🏼👌💕🤝🏼
You are the only person I've found that addresses this Sick Dynamic and the effects of it.
I have multiple examples of this bizzare behaviours by a Narc, in my own life's journey.
I thought(wrongly) that I was the only one experiencing this and that nobody else would understand.
I thought that if I told anyone what has happened and still happens, they'd not believe me and say I'm making things up or embellishing what happened.💔😢
I am crying tears right now.
From relived trauma of this abhorant spectacle and also from relief in realising that I am not alone and somebody actually does understand my experiences.
I just wish that this information were more accessable and taught openly; It could save a lot of Shame and Fear and Heartache from happening due to not knowing about Narcissists and their Various Relationship Dynamics.
This is one of the most validating videos of seen! Thank you so much for this.
Very true, I suffered all this and suffering now also as explained by you here. Thanks
Ok Danish, your starting to scare me. This is so accurate it's fighting. I was married to this narc for 47 yrs and also related his behavior to his narc mother. You couldn't tell which was which, he worshiped his evil mother
Wow this is my life. I was up against all five of his family members and him. Such betrayal .
Same dynamics within the family with the abusive narcissist son and mother. They commit to and implement divide and conquer. I am the decent scapegoated abused older sister. I was lied about, deceived, manipulated and ganged up on. They did the same to my father. My brother, I believe and observed, was coached by a toxic misogynistic aunt. It took me decades to put the pieces together and see how manipulative my sibling was and is. Truly an envious psychopath. He actually intentionally poisoned me more than once and got away with it. This is what they are capable of doing. This is yet another reason why it's best to go no contact with it and anyone connected to them. They usually associate with like minded people.
The cold hard facts.💯 Accurate once again.i dont even have anything to add because you covered it all to a T.
Thank you for all that you do bringing the awareness.
Glad I dodged that bullet. This is the most disgusting and toxic family dynamic of all.
100,% true Danish.. but I am eager to know what happens to their family dynamics when the victim escapes
That w/be interesting
They’ll wait for the next one. . . In the meantime they would have to manipulate and fight each other coz of their nature-The war never stops and the drama never ends.
You have nailed it Danish. It is exactly the case. Thank you.
Yes I lived through this with spouses - then repeated through my children who were inducted into the “Tribe” while I am excluded. I received antagonistic or neglectful responses in my efforts to parent our children when they were younger. My spouses (kids fathers) both died fairly young after we had divorced. BUT that didn’t stop their families from continuing the dynamic of offering membership in their Tribes leaving me isolated. My family is narcissistic so they’re not an option for me or my children.
Case in point Mother’s Day 2023. I’m living alone nearby. My adult children were “busy” that day. One honoring her deceased dads 95 year old mother (grandmother) who was living close by and on hospice and my son simultaneously honoring his deceased dad’s 99 year old mother (grandmother) he rarely visited but was in town 1 mile from my house which was where the ex-spouse siblings gathered having chosen Mothers Day for her memorial. 🤷♀️
There is no escape. Not divorce, not death. Narcissists and addicts have dogged me my entire life. Literally since birth. Yes, I chose badly engaging with people like these once I was a young adult, but I did not recognize the trappings nor their ongoing endurance through family engagement with my children.
Don't you wish they'd taught this in school? I have always had one around my whole life, too, and at this point, I'd like to ditch the lot of them for good. It would save so much time and energy, and it's not like you can point out what's the problem and they're going to course correct. 🙄
@@cc1k435 Yes. It’s very tricky and confusing to identify the problem and act to protect oneself. Being born into a narcissistic family and a culture where there’s not a lot of support for people to understand narcissistic dynamics as well as struggles around submission and female roles makes it harder. Teaching emotional intelligence spotting dysfunctional family dynamics and red flags would help guide people to healthier choices.
Happy belated mother's day. Sorry you have children who can't see your value. I wish you the best in the near future. I wish y'all will work it out before it's too late.
@@llkellenba so sorry to hear your experience "red flags don't look like red flags when they look like home".
It's not your fault, I hope you can get self care and celebrate your own kinda belated mother's day doing what you love 🙏
Always spot on-in the fog I thought I loved his family-even though now I see they all knew how abusive he was-they knew and never spoke directly-only in insinuations
Dead on good video danish!!yes every young woman can walk right into this if she’s not careful.I walked in twice.Never again.💯
Well said.. but we couldn't control them and we lose support from everyone even neighbours. It feels like nothing in our hand and helpless. But the saddest part of this trauma is we can't reveal them to this society. I pray to God for these victim people if it's possible please don't create a new victim for this evil people
Very true. They are constantly in support of their narcissistic sibling and never truly see you as a part of the family
Completely accurate. This happened to me and after 30 years, I no longer existed. Tough lesson to learn. Hugs to all who have gone through it. It is a reflection of them and not you. They were never in your corner, which is a very hard pill to swallow initially but over time and healing, your gain perspective on ŵhat truly happened.
Thank you Danish. With this video I understand more of what was happening to me for 17 years and I am able to show others what I am going through. God bless you brother.🙏
It's one of your best videos. It's my biography. I'm teary-eyed and shivering with chills,so spot on.
Danish, you hit the nail on the head in all that you said I experienced.
When i see your videos.... I get hope because... Only after seeing these iam able to realise how much.... How much of suffering i have gone through... First to know that then accepting the reality.... Has made me conscious and strong.... You are a blessing!
Everyword is so true. Thank you for these videos and helping us inderstand. You are so well spoken :)
Spot on !! Yes, the family will blindly support his own ...
You are so spot on! First it was the mother,after her passing away the place was taken by his younger sister..They behave like husband -wife... bearing this nonsense for 30 years.
🎯This has been my story for 13 yes.
Exactly exactly exactly!!! I feel the same. My husband’s mother, sister, father and other relatives are all against me. They are on the narcissists side. I should have seen it earlier when they were telling me about his first wife, “what a horrible thing it was”. Now it’s me on her place.
Yes...abused by His mother as well 😢
Word to word my Story!!!!! He diviorced me in front of his own grown children on encouragement from his mother and family.... After everything is over now i realize i was with a narcissist😢
My story was over 45 years ago. There wasn't too many resources back then but through wonderful counseling I survived.. Now I'm finally getting the answers to my questions. Thank You very, very much!
Yes this is so so true I went thru it my ex narc was controlled my his mother and sister they were crazy and always make him feel bigger and entitlement wow everything you said is exactly what happens!!!!
You hit the nail on the head for me. I am now boxing up every single thing that reminds me them and will hand it all back to them, making it perfectly clear that I want to forget I ever met him and his family. I will get my life back. 😡😔😌😊👍
You have just described in one video what I have been dealing with for years ! I mean this is spot onnnnnn. Thank you cause I can so see this and have stood up to it but he just got angrier and more distant and more isolating and has said I’m trying to cut him off from his family. He has his son “working” for him and pays all his kids and moms bills so they will defend him at my cost ! His daughter and mom are the wives. It’s such a crazy dynamic you will not win. Pack your bags and go or you will live in this loop of hell forever. Life is way to short . Let them have each other
This is 100percent true.
Initially, I felt it is their love for each other but now when he is sick none of his family members even make a sick visit
So True! My Narc. spouse is the baby of the family ,and has two older sisters. He dad never showed him love as a child, never hugged him,to this day they will greet each other with a handshake. When my hsband tells him he loves hm, which is rare ,he just responds with okay. But if I tell his dad ilove him ,he says it back! His mom thinks his crap dont stink, caters to hi every whim. He would ask me to do something like sew a button on his shirt, and not even 5mins later asking his mother to do. She comes over and always trys to redecorate our home without askng me. He upholds her in her wrong doing. His sisters and mother have talked about me behind my back for 22 years now and my husdand never calls them out on it. I feel like im on a deserted island when I'm with them. This year my sister n law hosting Christmas at her house, and I will be skipping it! and spending it with MY famiy in AZ!! Where I can be myself and know thatI am LOVED!!!!
You are in the relationship with him. But he is in the relationship with them.
💯👍
So succinct and so accurate and applicable to my experience. Thank you 🙏
Wow -you said it! So simply said.
Exactly what I’m going through right now! So sad how hard I’ve tried to prove myself. Sad 😢