Don’t Be a “Forever Girlfriend”
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- Опубліковано 26 бер 2024
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"Forever girlfriend" is a phrase I've heard many times over the past few years. One young woman recently made a video discussing details regarding her long-term relationship. That video has sparked a larger conversation online about dating and marriage. Let's get into it.
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"You don't have to lie to a woman because if she loves you enough she'll lie to herself". BRUTAL.
yeah i didnt see it coming and now im thinking bout my ex
It's true tho.
Also, having sex while not married blinds you towards your partner's real motives, because it creates a very intimate bond. You are way more free and independent when you wait to have sex, because waiting enables you to see the other person for who he really is.
Same with men.
The Christian men I know who are waiting for marriage gotta be the pickiest men I've ever met. Nobody swipes through hinge more and goes on more dates lol.
My FIL once said, “The trouble is that a man marries a woman hoping she’ll never change. A woman marries a man expecting him to change.”
W FIL there 😂
Ironically it's the woman that's changed the man in the first place then leave whilst giving the excuse " you've changed " or " you're not the man I fell in love with " 😂 when in truth its because the woman has broken him !!!
The trouble is men viewing women as a timeless objects instead of a living breathing human being that changes, and adapting accordingly
The part you left off is “…both are usually disappointed”
@@mo.ka.9661That's the case some of the time, if you blame men for viewing women as objects, blame women for acting like objects and marrying a 1% who got plenty options, really why would he settle for spoiled milk, this is just an example, but seriously be careful who you choose to spend your life with, especially since looks fade, don't wait till your old and gray then blame men, men these days don't like seconds
My husband said he knew he wanted to marry me within a few days of knowing me. This is coming from a man that was convinced he never would get married because he said there weren’t any women he had met that he could see himself spend the rest of his life with. He proposed within 5 weeks, we got married a year later & now have a precious baby girl. Do NOT waste your time, ladies & gents. If he wants to, he will! If he doesn’t, just accept he doesn’t think you are the one and move on.
We got married after 4 months of chatting online and 3 months of dating in person. He's from another continent, hence the online dating part. My advice is don't wait, if you need time to think, he/she is probably not the one.
So? 😂 you know how many girls a man want to marry?
Don’t worry, hypergamy will kick in in about year #2. You have all the leverage and incentive to self sabotage.
Bingo. The only thing that stopped me and my husband from getting married sooner was that I had to finish high school and get two years of college done so my parents were cool with me getting married. We dated for 5 years and 3 months to get married. Been married for 15 years and 4 kids later still together.
@@shelbysittig1047 glad it worked out but horrible advice from your father. “Wait til you finish school.” Women don’t control access to marriage, he should know this.
My husband and I were together for 4 years before he proposed. He wanted to propose after I graduated college, but Covid struck and my learning track was halted. All through that time, I didn't live with him or commit to move in with him. Set boundaries, ladies.
Same thing happened to me. And I didn't leave my parents house until I actually had a ring. We did only marry in church.
I'll see you tonight 👀 👀
I moved in with my husband 2 months after knowing each other and we also didnt get married until i graduated college. Our situation is definitely the exception because we are genuinely so in love and we always made it clear that marriage was always the end goal, we were just waiting for me to finish college. Even then, I don't recommend it to anyone because it wont go like that for everyone else. It's risky and I got blessed in the way that my husband and I had the same thoughts and boundaries (we just couldnt help ourselves and moved in together), but it's sadly not the majority of outcomes in these cases
Thats too soon, thats crazy
My husband and I moved to another country together after dating for a year and hadn't lived together before that. After a few years we moved back to our home country together, bought a house together, underwent IVF to have children together.
THEN, after all of this and 8 years as a couple, we finally got around to getting married 😂
So I mean, marriage in and of itself isn't the most important aspect here. It's more that you are actively planning and building a future TOGETHER. That both of you have promised each other that you want to spend the rest of your life together
What was the phrase..."Women fuck who they want not who they can" yeah Men marry who they want, not who they can.
Thats a good one. Quite accurate too.
yeppers
The new saying should be men don't marry
nope its yall old crusty clowns going after young girls
And some make excuses and insist on standards they don't qualify for to excuse failure.
Source - I'm a dude who has had it with all the BS from others. Just admit to being incompetent at relationships and too lazy to fix it instead of all this nonsense.
The old adage was “why buy the cow if the milk comes free?”
Exactly
Lol this is something most women don’t want to hear.
I guess you could say it's a "moo point" 😉
And?
She is 28? "DangerZone"- kevin Samuels.
Start the funeral preparations, her last egg just died. 😂😂
I got played around by several men in this way and it really broke me. They just did not communicate with me that I wasn't "the one". Then I met a man I was totally head over heels for. Everything seemed great, but about 7 months in, he told me that he couldn't see himself marrying me and that's why we needed to break up. I felt so RELIEVED that he cared enough about my feelings to be brutally honest with me and encourage me to move on, especially because I was in the prime of my most fertile years. He didn't waste my time and I will always respect him for that. We still keep in touch.
I just gotta say, have you realized the problem yet, did you ask him why?
@@Manhwa-recapped "The problem" was that he simply could not envision a future with me. He actually cried while breaking up with me because it was hard for him, too. But he did the right thing for both of us.
Sounds like a thoughtful, decent, considerate guy
@@tingting7555 He truly is, and I wish him all the best. He is the reason I became less pessimistic about men in general, by breaking up with me in such a kind way, and reassuring me that I deserved someone who was serious about me. He's a really great guy, he still hasn't found the right woman for him, but I hope he does soon because he'd be a great father.
I'm so sorry about the other men. I'm glad that guy had human decency instead of going out and cheating on you.
My now husband talked about marriage like 2 months in. I got scared. Later on we both agree on getting married and 1 year latter we tied the knot. I asked him what he wanted to get married so fast and he said that he was tired of messing around and he wanted to get married. He said that when he met me he knew I was the one. Now we’ve been married for almost 12 years.
I knew my wife was the one a few days in. I don’t know how I just did.
@teenageapocalypseusa5368 how did you know that you werent falling for her representation? It generally takes years to see the real person infront of you
Seems like guys know pretty quickly.
@@transitionsnc that seems to be the case on paper, but conversly how many men have also been bamboozled, when they thought they had such a great relationship? That everything was going great and their woman side swiped them with some bs. And most of the time these things happen, the c9mmon denominator is the fact that they rushed into a relationship, rushed into mairrage without really taking the time to properly vet her, and hernpossible red flags which arent shown on full display in the beginning mind you
@@jameeljohnson19 I completely agree with you. I'm a single, never married, no children person for this reason. It can happen to both sexes. If both people have good intentions, it can work. But there are so many factors that go into marriage...people can have ill intentions, people change once they're married, people change over time, etc. A successful marriage really is a bit like Russian Roulette, in my opinion.
my husband proposed 3 months after meeting me. Got married 3 years later. Now been married 13 years this year and together for 16.
Met my, now fiance, in 2022 when I came back to our old dojo. He was with his ex at the time, she cheated on him, and they broke up. About few weeks later, we started flirting during tournament. I told him we need to figure this out and that I'm not going to involve myself with him if I'm going to be a rebound. He said I'm not a rebound because he had a crush on me and wanted to ask me out B4 I left Martial Arts. We gave it a shot in November. In December he gave me a promise ring that looked an awful lot like an engagement ring😂. On my birthday the next year he asked me to marry him as we were cuddling and I was talking about wanting to have dinner with his family. I had said yes. Didn't think much of it. He left for the military and came home for Christmas. It was this past New Year's Eve where he proposed to me properly. We will be getting married next March. I am so blessed and happy and all the feels to be marrying this man. I love him so much, he's fixed so many broken pieces of me that I could roughly put myself back together. I actually get to see him graduate AIT next week! I cannot wait to see him. Ok I'm done rambling 😖
Very happy for you two, it's sad this is becoming a rarity.
My husband proposed 2 weeks after meeting and we got married 2 months later. But I would definately not expect that of secular people.
@@A2theCRare…? Just over 50% of Al marriages in the U.S. are forever. How is that rare? That’s literally the majority. 😂
So you made him wait 3 years? Sounds like you settled 😂
Men dont fear marriage, we fear no-fault divorce.
I fear obesity.
Women love to let themselves go.
If I ever married, the prenuptial agreement would say that she gets nothing in a divorce if she has gained more than 1 lb since signing the prenuptial, and she would weigh herself and write the weight down with a notary present.
I would also insist on a vow from her that she will never gain weight.
That would make marriage potentially be plausible.
@@rievaulxlucienne1176bro you’re delusional
From a man to another man, this is not healthy dude, seriously talk to a therapist because this, although can be done, is not realistic and no woman will marry you ever, think about it, what will you put as a clause you are responsible for? And even if anybody accepts this crazy agreement, there are no guarantees in life, either of you could get sick and gain weight, humans are flawed and this way of thinking will keep you single the rest of your life
@@rievaulxlucienne1176As another man, you sound crazy. I get wanting the person to be the same way or better when you started dating them and not let themselves go, but that’s extreme and inconsiderate. So many factors go into it. Way too unforgiving.
Then get your priorities right and marry well.
I was a forever girlfriend 😅 but his answer was always the same: "I want to get married after I buy us a house." Well, the day he closed on our house, he went wirh his mom to buy an engagement ring. The very next day, he took me, my parents, and his parents to a quaint little german town and proposed to me that night. I always had doubts that he was just stalling, but since his answer never changed, I just trusted him and stayed and now we're expecting our first kid!
Oh man, he played a dangerous game. Many men have this thought for some reason.. I don't know why. We want to have all of our ducks in a row before we feel we are man enough to marry a woman we think is that great in our eyes. Glad it all worked out!
My husband was exactly the same. We're very happy and have a beautiful 3 year old daughter. I do think this is the exception and not the rule though, and the advice to NOT do this is generally good.
i hope you dont divorce him.
My brother was similar. It took them ten years to get married. He is my only sibling who has never been divorced. Sometimes it works out. But I definitely agree with others that this is the exception and not rule. In two ways, actually. She had two children from a previous relationship. I would never advise men to involve themselves with single mothers. Can it work out? Yes. Doesn't it usually work out? No.
@@susanwjoh0re735 goodness, what a bleak outlook
I wasted my 20s with a man who gave me false hope for 7 YEARS. He, too, followed suit and proposed, to the woman he cheated on me with, about 6 months after our split. Some lessons are hard learned. Luckily for me, I finally found a man who knows about true love and commitment. We will certainly teach our beautiful daughter how to hold herself in the highest regard and expect the same from any man she chooses in the future.
First guy was a Chad. You knew who he was in the beginning but that dysfunction made you fall head over heels for him. Second guy is the clean up beta who probably had little options in the first place.
He was using you as a placeholder before he found what he was looking for. I’m sorry you went through that but this is very common. I’m only replying because more women need to learn this.
@@unc1221 Your response insinuates I’m not worthy of something genuine and great in a relationship. Like some man “settled” for me due to lack of options? This makes you part of the problem around this narrative, in my opinion.
@@kellieknudtson6088 no I’m a man, therefore I don’t insinuate anything, I’m just blunt. Yes after 7 long years with the wealthy, good d, abs, jawline, charisma, etc, you then chose Beta Brad, who in fact did settle because he probably lacks self awareness/confidence because he is less experienced. This tale is as old as time.
@@kellieknudtson6088his response, if true indicates he has a crystal ball and/or has been personally stalking you and the two men all these years to fully know everything about you guys to such a level of detail.😅 if it's not true then the AUDACITY to feign such accuracy towards a stranger is amazing and should be studied by scientists.
I started dating a man at 19. By the time all this clicked for me I was 27. We never moved in together, we lived with our very traditional parents. I was a weekend gf.
But I ended up burnt out from being overly empathetic, delving into my own traumas, rebalancing hormones after bc, starting a new job and moving out on my own for the first time. We had no stable base for the next step.
In the end I realized that if wanted to, he had 8 yrs to and I left without many words. I thanked his family for all of their support and I moved 1000 miles away in 2021. I’m now happily married to a wonderful man and am expecting my second baby. MOVE ON LADIES 🎉
Be honest, you only move away after already having a new man!
I relate to this exponentially, 8 years and no base for any steps to grow together. It’s sad to look back on but I’ve found someone new and I’ve never been this happy
@@clauzone03 1000 miles away?? I didn’t know anyone. Actually I went on an ayahuasca retreat two months prior that gave me lots of clarity and boosted my self confidence to end that toxic attachment. But I did meet my husband the following year ;)
@@nicoleg1321 but seriously! Sometimes I feel so dumb for being so naive, and I feel sad for the younger version of me who had put so much faith and work into it all. I’m so happy for us, that we’re in better spots looking back now. Like living in an answered prayer!
I’m so happy for you! 🩷
8 year relationship and she paying rent then she is a friend with benefits.
friend with benefits only has sex
What a King. 🤴
This logic is retarded
Bootycall that cooks for him 😂
No, because they're a cohabiting couple.
I was a Forever Girlfriend. I broke up with him after Lockdown for Covid lifted and he came back into my life. Which we then married. But I told him he could never live with me until we got married. And I stuck to it! I do not regret that.
@justinwentzel5166 pretty sure she is, and managed to get him to marry her
@justinwentzel5166 I have a weird way of writing things sometimes. Yes! I am married to him now. I had broken up with him completely because we had been together for 6 years at that time of 2020 and nothing was in the works.
But he worked his way back into my life because he did truly want to be with me and marry me. So, we worked it out!
We knew early on. We knew dating was to search for a future spouse. We both felt safe and natural together. Got engaged one year later, married the next year. We were long distance. That why we took a little more time. But 12 years later, four kids we are so blessed. I’m so thankful to have him as my companion in this life.
The guy probably saved up and brought a house by himself instead of a wedding ring because he didn’t want to lose his house in a divorce settlement later down the line.
Getting a house is an INVESTMENT, getting married is a RISK. Choose wrong at your own peril!
@@TheHumanRanger
Exactly. Add the fact that most young women are raised to be self-centered and usually have some kind of mental illness, and that makes marriage THAT much more of a risk.
he should be worried about the woman getting pregnant and having nothing to her name but nope yall are so worried about your assets more than your own kids, lots of fathers scam their own children out of care, love and the woman who layed down her life to give you kids, you dont deserve any woman or kids western men are the most shameful under the sun
@@TheHumanRanger that's not an appealing argument.
@@MarkaNgamer you are correct marriage is very unappealing to men
I'm always conflicted on these stories. I don't think marriage makes someone more respectful or loyal to you and your relationship. However, marriage (in my mind) is a slight step further as it makes it more difficult to leave in some ways.
However! I was with my highschool sweetheart for 16 years before getting married. He told me he didn't believe in marriage, I do. I chose to stay around because marriage didn't mean more than this person.
However, 16 years later he decided to ask me and I said yes. We've been together a total of 18 years , married for 2 (married at @ 32).
You need to trust yourself and your partner. If you truly want something... do not put it off unless you're prepared to deal with potentially losing out. It doesn't always work out whether your married or not.
👏🏽 *Say it louder for the people in the back!* 🔥
After dating my husband for two weeks he said he loved me and not long after we started to talk about marriage. I was 19 and he was 24, I told him I didn't want to get engaged till after college. He agreed and we got engaged a year after I graduated and married the following year. Tomorrow is our 15 years! We're best friends and he's communicated throughout our whole relationship how much he loves and cares for me.
I’ve loved two women. The 1st one dumped me when I was serving in Desert Storm. I was single until 35, and a solid long term boyfriend who swore I’d never marry or live with a woman. Then I met my wife, she gave me 7 kids, and passed away from ALS.
I'm so sorry for you loss
so? times changed buddy. whamen are not the same anymore.
@@jurassicthunder That's relevant to the OP's comment how?
@@C-709TRPs can’t NOT spew copium at any hint of a challenge to their worldview.
I'm sorry for your loss
He bought the house himself so that she cant take it in the divorce
I love that when the tables are turned women get outraged, this type of shit happens all the time in reverse, men investing in the woman without any security, and every time that happens is again the "you go girl"
Wanna bet?
Agreed. She pays rent as she has a place to live. It's not like they would live free outside that house hold. Fix divorce laws, and men will be more inclined to get married. Good on men for not getting played anymore.
Well that won't stop the woman from taking his house even if he owned it for decades before they met.
In Canada even if you're not married but going out for 8 years and she never even lived in your house but stayed there occasionally and left a few things there that's enough for her to take your house now.
@@Etymon-jt3zw I live in Canada and that is scary. Can you provide sources? I have my own house bought and paid for, and I dont want some bimbo girl to come in and take it from me...
Im on year 11 💔. It is so much easier to say “you have the power to leave” than to actually do it. There are so many feelings involved, history, etc. I often asked myself “if he doesn’t know after 6 years is he going to suddenly wake up one day and realize I’m the one?” I know the answer…. and I still just don’t want to believe it…. and I let that 6 turn into 11.
My ex told me I will never marry you but I love you, I got over him the next day no man is worth this much, no women deserve this
Awww, you don't get to take half of his shit😢 you ruined my day.
This is the future. Until the laws change, no marriage no commitment. Hope yall ready
"I got over him the next day"
You were tested and failed.
Do you have a loyal bone in your entire ancestory?
"My ex told me I will never marry you but I love you, I got over him the next day no man is worth this much, no women deserve this" damn talk about being a psycho.
Oh no, you don't get to ruin him in divorce. Cry me a river.
Ah so the forever girlfriend is the simp but in reverse
A simpette?
@@Lonovavir Like incels, simp is a gender neutral term. A female incel is just an incel, not a femcel. A female simp is not a simpette, shes just a simp.
100%
How'd you get that wicked scar?
I don't think they are a simp... simp is that person fawning over the other, but never getting anywhere, like that guy spending over 40k on an onlyfans girl only to be given a hug after 8 months or so... thats a simp... a forever girlfriend would be getting far more out of the relationship, as it is contributed to both sides, but not at a marriage-like partner level yet.
If women want traditional treatment, they need to act more traditional. Not just pretent to be traditional when it benefits them.
Not really, a man will commit to who he wants. I’ve read many stories of men dating women for 8-10 years but turn around and marry the next after 2-3 years of dating. He’s gotten comfortable and doesn’t see a future with her, this has nothing to do with traditionalism
This has everything to do with traditionalism, if so many men are telling you the exact same thing but you deny it to justify your own fantasy then that's your problem and your delusion. No matter how you look it modern women are not worth it. @@Lanab2677
@@Lanab2677You're right, it doesn't. Because those are not traditional men.
@@MarkaNgamer true, these issues can also be eradicated if couples wouldn’t cohabit together before marriage. It makes both parties too comfortable because you’re already playing house
@@Lanab2677had a girlfriend for years, and she didn't want to start a family so I ended it and the next two I didn't even went long term cause I wanted to start a family and they didn't...I said I won't wait 5 years for a maybe....with women who were in their late 20s
Together 21 years, married 19 years…. But today, it’s ridiculous how the courts treat men.
This is why it's too much of a gamble for us. : )
21 yrs goddamn 🤯 that must have been one great 🌬️ job 😂😂
I been there twice. Front row.
As opposed to before, when the courts favoured men, even if they were abusive?
@@Sam97-oi4vc we’re not talking about abuse… courts have never favored men. But today, when men should have as much right to custody of their children, they aren’t. And now, they’re being forced to pay excessive amounts of money… not just for child support. At least in years past, child support was more fair. Men should have equal rights *in family court* as mothers have.
I mean, the simple solution is to remove the disincentive to marriage, eliminating, no-fault divorce
A lot of people are also not willing to marry because they can already have all the perks of a committed relationship without it. The problem is there's no way to enforce banning pre-marital cohabitance/offspring because America is too diverse and does not follow a specific religion.
Dude, removing no-fault divorce? Huh? Can you explain? Do you know what that means? 😂
@@WiinterKittenI do, and it follows the rest of his comment well so I'm sure he does as well. But feel free to enlighten us with your own definition, because I suspect you got confused and are making a clown out of yourself with your arrogance.
@Notmyname979 true, there's no way to enforce, but there's no way to stop people from smoking either, and yet we've developed a culture that's at smoking like a bad and gross habit. The solution is by cultivating cultural attitudes over times with consistent messaging. That's how leftists have normalized a lot of their agendas over the decades. They just had the patience to boil the frog slowly, so to speak. You can tie religious motivations to it when and when appropriate, but making it about "cool" and "uncool," or "healthy" and "unhealthy" could be just as effective on a broader scale so long as you have a good case to make and can point to lived examples for why it's correct.
@@WiinterKitten yep. It means you can't legally divorce your spouse outside of clearly defined exceptions like infidelity, abuse, or maybe significant theft of resources or something. No fault divorce was a terrible decision. Marriage and wedding vows become completely meaningless unless you live in a community that will culturally enforce it and actually hold you accountable to your vows, which is the entire functional purpose of having witnesses to wedding vows at the wedding ceremony. When someone actually had to legitimately wrong you in violation of your vows, people had to learn how to actually work through their family problems, and you didn't see nearly as many broken homes wkth kids lacking an all-important parental figure in their lives. At the very least, no-fault divorce should be thrown out the window where kids are involved.
My wife and I met in May of ‘21, I proposed in January of ‘22, we married in July of ‘22, and our daughter was born in December of ‘23. Best decision I have ever made
Oh you are SO screwed my dude. Just you wait.
👆 this guy gets it
@@JoeProsomeone’s projecting their miserable life onto others
@@anestassia6346 no, someone is using data and statistics. His wife has a golden opportunity to demolish his entire life, all on a whim. And statistics show that she's more than likely going to do just that.
@@anestassia6346it’s called statistics bud. it’s a coin flips chance if you get divorced or not.
My husband and I got engaged when we had been together 10 months. When I told people at work my coworkers were weirded out and thought I was moving too fast. I knew my husband was the one when we had been together at 3 months. We started talking about marriage at around 8 months in. If you know you know. We will celebrate 12 years married this year.
My husband and I got engaged after dating for a month! We’d known each other a tad longer. But 12 years of marriage later, we’re better than ever.
If you don't know by 10 months then they aren't the one.
@@kunya16 thats dumb AF, that is still around the honeymoon phase when both parties are on their best behavior.
@@God__Emperor_ you can go ahead and date for 12 years and hope for the best. I've been happily married for 11 so it worked for me. But oh no! We might still be "on best behavior" 🙄
@@God__Emperor_ It's better than 2 months; at least.
My fiance and I have been together for coming up on 13 years (got engaged last year). We got together in high school, and have been together ever since.
We talked about marriage, and decided to wait til after my now fiance was finished with college (she's someone who already takes on a ton of extra work, so adding a wedding on top of that would have not been a good idea). She decided to do a post-grad in pharmacy, and 2 years of critical care residency (i.e. working in the ICU at a hospital), so that pushed the timeline out further.
She finished her final year of residency last year, and she got a full-time position, so I knew it was time to propose - and now we are getting married next year (we pushed the wedding back because we decided to buy a house - under both our names - which we close next week!).
I tell this to put forth an example where "forever girlfriend/boyfriend" can be perceived, but isn't necessarily true. Of course, I think my relationship is more of an outlier, and no where near the standard, but it does exist.
Hey Brett, my husband(currently 32) and I(currently 28) have been married for almost a year, but we’ve been together for almost ten years. We were only engaged for a year and a half before we got married, so eight years dating. My husband grew up differently, very unstable household, you name it, it most likely happened to him. His fear of commitment came from trauma. He surprised me with a ring, he swore it wasn’t an engagement ring even though my best girlfriends and I always called it one. We have to remember everyone grew up differently, and I feel like past/childhood traumas can really effect someone’s views of marriage and being in a relationship forever, he was always let down by the people he was supposed to trust the most(sibilants, parents, friends). I love him, even if we weren’t married, I’d still love him and be with him. My husband is a very old fashioned man, we want a home/farm, a big family, but this economy and interest rates are holding us back, but we’re getting closer everyday. Maybe this isn’t the case for everyone, but everyone deserves to give a reason for why they do the things that they do, or don’t do. I love your videos and I agree with almost all your points you make, but this one I had to give my side.
EXACTLY!!! I’m not disagreeing with the, knowing within weeks or months to know, if someone is marriage material but, it seems that a lot of woman run with that method out of ego. Like “ how could a man not know within a few months I’m marriageable “! Again I understand all points of view, waiting 2 years or maybe a little longer, doesn’t mean it’s a red flag.
@@bjay347also I think it depends on the age. I've met my bf when we were 17, had our 4th anniversary in January. I think we're still young, I'm still at uni and so is he. But some people on the internet tell me that he won't marry me because we've been together for so long. ( Although we talk about moving in together once we have enough money and we already planned our honeymoon)
Always exceptions to the rule. Congrats on being above a statistic
@@cap8870Brett pooper clearly mentions that this isn’t the exception
First of all, congratulations on your marriage! That sounds lovely
On the other hand, your situation is an exception. Most men who don't act interested in marrying you, won't change their mind. Begging, demanding or giving hints won't change that. So it's better for most women to set these boundaries if they're looking for someone for life
I'm thankful I was taught even as a child to realize my worth, and I managed to avoid situations like these. I never lived with or even slept with any man until I married my husband, and I am so grateful that I don't carry the baggage of toxic relationships with me for the rest of my life. This is not bragging on myself, I guess it's bragging on my parents for what they taught me, and especially for my father's example of what a good man looks like!
👍
As a woman from a similar upbringing, I salute you for sticking to your dignity and worth. I have yet to be married, but your story inspired me to never settle. Hope you have a happy and fulfilled married life
As a woman with a practically identical story, I am so thankful for my parents, too. It has made my marriage so much easier, and honestly, just life in general. When I see the drama and emotional rollercoasters that some of my college friends went through or are going through after not waiting (who ironically low-key mocked me for not dating a lot and for not sleeping with people in college and are now pretty jealous of me), I am just so thankful my parents taught me well.
I proposed to my wife 4 months into dating (+6 months talking) and we have been married for 7yrs now and just welcomed our first child 3mo ago.
Literally best decision ever.
Congrats. I will soon do the same. It's the best feeling in the world. Spread the message to young men. They need it.
7 years time to get divorced… lose everything, get zeroed out. It’s the Feminist way
@iamme25yago definitely do not consider my choice to commit to my wife a "risk". Perfect Love casts out fear. There is no fear in Love.
Serve your lady as the man God created you to be. The moment you decide to live outside of yourself and provide for another is the day you really become a man. If God is at the center, there's no stronger or more blessed bond.
God bless my friend.
Yeah, it's all wonderful until she decides that she is bored, or she thinks that she can do better than you, and takes you through the divorce court.
@houseofhas9355 absolutely agree. We live in perilous times. Our society preaches selfishness. My belief is that intimacy should be the reward of commitment. We have strayed so far from the tried and true ways that previous generations built their families and it's a true shame.
i am loving these dating/marriage advice videos brett!!! keep em coming
True about men knowing fairly quickly if they want to marry a woman. My husband proposed after 2.5 months of dating. 10 years later, still very happy plus a cute lil kid. And on the other hand I know three girls from school that fell into this trap of long term girlfriend. One of them, her boyfriend had 3 kids with her, gave a promise ring (not even an engagement ring) 8 years ago and still hasn't married her. One of them has been with her man since since high school and still hasn't gotten a proposal 12 years later (though she very obviously is dying to get married) and the third was with her ex-boyfriend since she was 14 years and they eventually broke up when they were 29 years old. He just got married to the next girl within 2 years of the breakup and she is now struggling to find a good man cause she wasted too many of her good years with the wrong person.
I literally had to set the boundary with my now-husband about 3 months into dating that he had to wait until ONE YEAR to propose. 😂 We were already talking marriage in great detail, but we were super young, so I felt more comfortable waiting a year dating first. He proposed on our one year anniversary. We’ll be celebrating 9 years of wonderful marriage this September.
That's beautiful
Giving a guy an ultimatum at the start?
Bye Felicia.
@saulgoodman2018 you misread what she wrote. She was saying HE wanted to rush into marriage, and made him wait for at least a year.
I'll pray for that man. The day you decide to divorce him...HES SCREWED 😂
@@dapperfan44 And she or he said they had to set the boundaries.
When it came to my wife, I knew within 5 minutes she was the one I wanted. I heard her laugh and knew I wanted to hear that sound every day for the rest of my life.
Not having sex before marriage helped me figure out very quickly who was worth marrying and who was not. Men who weren't interested in marriage never even tried, and the few that I dated left quickly after when they found out I wasn't compromising. My now husband proposed after a year of dating. Currently pregnant with our first and we are both very excited. ❤
My husband proposed 4 months after we met, then got married 6 months after. It’s been over a year already since our wedding and we already have our first baby. We are so happy and feel so blessed. ❤️
the fear of commitment in our generation is actually insane.
Gee, I wonder why...
With good reason
😂you ever thought why that is
Marriage is awful.
Fix divorce laws and offer a nuetral prenup. Men are tired of being used.
Men have no incentives to get married. Women have no incentives to stay in a relationship that doesn’t end in marriage. What a system.
Yup
Yeah... It sure seems that way. Meanwhile, it wrecks people psychologically. The studies show that the men who engage in that lifestyle are either successful and become sociopaths who manipulate, use, and abandon others or become bitter and depressed. Meanwhile, become anxious, depressed, have low self esteem, etc. As all of this happens, kids are still being born in to these situations which ... The stats on them? Oh boy, scary stuff.
@@RandomPerson-nd2ey sounds like *fmnzm* needs a hard reversal.
Or not, jsut suffer for another several decades, doesn't matter to me lmao 🤣
@@RandomPerson-nd2ey Well... it's better to be a sociopath than to be a divorcee; for you at least.
My parents were together for 10 years (from age 18/19- 28/29 ) before they got married and had 3 children. They are still together today.
Thank you, I really hate how these videos make ladies feel like they're not good enough for their man if they don't get proposed to in a year.
My husband already started marriage talk within the first 6 months (2017/2018), met his mother in that time (and he told her, right in front of me, that I was the woman he wanted to marry), met the rest of his family same year (2018), proposed a year after that (2019), and then got married the next year (early 2020)
If there’s anything I learned over the years, is that a man who’s serious about you will make it VERY clear, to you and everyone that matters, and will want to do right by you.
I have a cousin who's been waiting 42 years for her man to marry her. He married and divorced other women while my cuz was still waiting. Crazy! My cousin is now 67 years old and is still talking to and waiting for him to become her husband. She claims she is used to him and doesn't trust other men. Wow... that's Insane! They have never lived together. Even now, they live in different states. She is not happy with the arrangement. She complains to me all the time that he has someone else. I keep telling her she is wasting her life on a man who clearly does not love her. He only fly's into her state once or twice a year for a hit and run.
Wasted life smh
Yeah, she is not getting married lol. The window for women is 18-35.
So in other words she has the married life already, what she wants is just a wedding... why make a legal contract now if she is happy? i dont get it to be honest
Damm. 42 years. That's a real bad situation. Is she wife material or is she just a modern woman?
Did you tell her that? Does her decision personally hurt you?
I think this goes to show how both genders are predatory in our society. Rather than trying to improve ourselves and remedy the divide between sexes, both sides just continually bicker about which side is the worst and doing a whole lot of nothing, it is truly heartbreaking and depressing.
To all of the men and women who are looking for a sincere married relationship, to have kids and grow old with a sincere and committed partner, I truly wish you luck and all the happiness. Keep your heads out of this toxic bickering and just remember that the talking points being given online are usually from a loud and hurt minority. The vast majority are tired and just as eager for a wonderful spouse as you!
Godspeed o7!
Pointing out harsh realities is just that, pointing out reality.
Men want what they’ve always wanted: Fit, feminine, cooperative, childless, 20’s (fertility), conservative, no promiscuous past, not in tons of useless debt/bad with money, presentable to friends and family.
Unfortunately, just fitness, debt, and lack of conservative or often even moderate/right leaning values eliminates all but around 2% of women in the proper age group for marriage (20’s).
When marriage age appropriate women aren’t remotely providing what men want, men respond by either just sleeping with them or checking out completely.
@@Joe-hz1nw You forgot "zero tattoos" which is a huge one for me.
I don't care if she has a tattoo because she chose it from a book or because it was really meaningful for her after a friend died.
Tattoos on women are always unattractive period.
@@rievaulxlucienne1176 I’d chalk that one up under the conservative, presentable to friends and family”. I agree, tattoos are trashy and masculine in almost all cases.
Heavy tattoos almost always represent trauma.
@@Joe-hz1nw Oh, ok, good call sorry.
@@Joe-hz1nw _Young, fit, submissive, debt-free, _*_virgins_*_ , no tattoos_
Same as it ever was. 💊
My dad gave me some strong advice when I was in like middle school or high school. "Women have sex to have a relationship, and men have a relationship to have sex." Obviously not true in every case, but it's fairly consistent.
🔥 YES to all this sage advice! My husband and I met, started dating 2 weeks after the initial meeting and within 10 months got engaged. Married nearly 3 years now. We had the hard conversations up front; I drew that line of no sex till marriage and he respected that. We both were on the same page spiritually, politically, and values which meant marriage (no shacking up before then either) and definitely wanting 2 kids. We decided to save the money to buy a home together instead of a big wedding. Immediate family only, on a Thursday, in a secluded park by a small body of water. My parents paid for the dinner after, and contributed to half my wedding dress. My husband was responsible for his suit and booked the honeymoon. 100% recommend a micro wedding, celebrate with friends later, they’ll still buy you wedding shower items.
I have a lot to lose with marriage, the courts, the statistics and women have not given me a lot of faith to trust that I will not be abused in that situation.
It would take an exceptional and good woman to change my mind.
Get your passport.
Same. ive heard TOO MANY horror stories
@@paddington1670 and so have I... In real life. In fact, I've had to provide shelter for a relative who was all beaten and bruised. I've seen the damage done to kids when "Daddy" walked out the door. I've seen the heartbreak when Daddy showed how little he cared as he ran away like the little bee yatch he was. Etc, etc, etc. I could tell a bunch of horror stories of what I have seen.
And then I've heard these same guys lie their butts off bragging about how they were a "good husband/dad who did everything perfect".
So, yeah, pardon me if I don't reach for the tissue box to cry someone a river when I only hear their side of the story. Don't be so gullible dude. Every story has at least 3 sides. His side, her side, and the truth. If you believe only one person's story and believe it wholeheartedly, you're a fool.
Correct. You should marry an exceptional and good woman😂
@@RandomPerson-nd2eyfunny how you immediately went to most men are liars just to defend some women. Should be ashamed of yourself bro. Also how the fuck do you know what’s going on in a relationship outside of what the woman tells you? Not like you were hovering over the man 24/7 watching his every move.
I proposed after 4 months, have been happily married for over 35 years.
This is why you set a timer for every relationship. Personally I’ll never stay longer than 2 years, but the older I get that will get lower. It is infinitely better to be alone then to waste your time with someone who only sees you for what they can get out of you.
People thought that my then boyfriend would never propose since we were nearing 7 years together. He proposed and we are now almost celebrating our 1 year wedding anniversary, 9 years total. We got together at 15/16 and married at 22/23. Everything happens at its own pace, and looks different from person to person.
That’s more than reasonable you guys met so young. Don’t listen to all the outside noise.
Obviously 7 years starting at 15 is different than a relationship that started at 22.
Come on now..
@@marcalexander6450 don’t pick on her, she did well at a young age ignoring all the outside noise.
@@Joe-hz1nwI’m not picking on her.
From her words, it sounds like her sentiments is that she’s an example of why it’s fine for a woman to wait 7 years.
I’m stating there is a clear difference between the 7 year gap of a woman waiting 22-29 and a child 15-22.
@@marcalexander6450 I agree with you, my point is, be gentle with women making good choices with dating and marriage. They are few and far between.
I started shopping for engagement rings after 2 months.
Proposed after 4 months.
26 years later, more in love than ever.
I remember hearing about a study where they found that people who dated longer, divorced at higher rates. Some psychologists said it was because there was nothing new after marriage, the couple had been dating for 12 years and they had a house, pets maybe even children together, joint back accounts, joint bills and basically every characteristic of a married couple except the fact that they weren't married. The point of dating is to get married so when they finally decided to take the "next step" and get legally married, there was nothing more after the marriage that hadn't happened before marriage. There wasn't a honeymoon phase, there wasn't family planning, buying a house, making joint accounts, nothing new.
This is why I think couples should save as many moments, events and experiences for the marriage as possible so you don't miss out on the joys of married life.
Oh yeah that makes sense cause in my religion we're not allowed to touch each other until marriage, so I guess...... A lot of new things after marriage for us 🤷🏼♀️
Should have just considered themselves already married.
1,000 % agree. I tell married couples in their 1st yr- start the home buying process- saving, the planning and hopefully buy your place a yr of starting the process (notice I didnt say house, cause not everyone today can buy a house.. maybe a condo) Its another step of commitment AND you are still in yhat honeymoon phase, cause otherwise you may kill eachother lol . We got engaged after 6 months but he had my ring 1 month before because I told him It was very important he asked my father (I was 37) we got Married 1 yr from proposal , bought out home 18 months after getting married and we just celebrated our 6th yr anniversary.
@@MissGabriela829 I'm so happy for you, I hope you two live a long together
I would bet that you can't cite the study.
So my gf and I live in a house that I bought and solely own, but this is for tax purposes. She already owned a property, and our local laws stipulate if any of the buyers are buying a ‘second home’, the tax on it shoots up massively (we’re talking a $30-$40k increase you pay upfront). That said, she pays no rent and any money that’s required to remodel the house, or anything that increases asset value (like fitted wardrobes etc.) I pay for, and she rents out her other property and keeps that money. Bills and some furniture items we split. The girl in Brett’s vid is getting hosed.
My husband proposed to me 10 months after being together. We were. 8 months engaged to plan the wedding (we should have eloped). We have been married for 5 years now. Ladies and Gentlemen, if someone wants to be with you, they will move heaven and earth. Don't cast your pearls on swine and don't do married things if you aren't married, this includes sex!
Thank you! Literally if women would just say “I believe in sex after marriage” the dating pool will cut by 3/4. Saves them time, heartbreak and traima
If you desire marriage and he tells you up front that he never plans to get married, dump him. You will never change his mind no matter how long you stick with him. Sometimes, you can get lucky and they come around. But most of the time, you are wasting your years with that person.
Also good to ask him what he wants in a wife. If you don’t fit the mold, move on.
Millions of people never want to marry anyone.
The right question to ask is if he loves her, not if he wants to marry.
wrong. with legal system which favors women its stupid for a man to get married
I learnd that the hard way
Men dont like commitment because the courts are against us in every aspect. Sure, there are people who live happily ever after, but for every one of those there are 3 who are the making of a mens worst nightmare come true. Its easy to say we are using you when its in your favor when everything goes south. Yes I am divorced by the way, how did you know ? lol
Even if you weren’t (I’m not), the statistics are damning and none of those laws, no fault divorce, all the govt handouts would exist without the majority of women voting for it for decades.
and you are clueless why she divorced right? she probably has more gold on her own and your little useless brat to her that she got tired of explaining baciss to. you just babble your manosphere bs holding back that men get 90% custody when they file for it (most men dont care about their kids), even pfd files and abusers get the kids bc all world claps for a man doing the basic minimum regarding his own children
@@Joe-hz1nw *fmnzm and the 19th amendment were a mistake* 💊
Meanwhile I’m a guy who wants to get married but I have been on the flip side where I’ve dated women for years only for them to decide “no I’m just not ready for that kind of commitment” or “you aren’t the one”. Thanks ladies, could’ve told me months or years in advance instead of wasting my time and money. Props for this man in the video being smart enough to buy the home in his name then getting her to pay rent. About time women start footing the bill for something
“No fault” was enough for me and decided to avoid marriage since high school.
-“Never sign a contract where the other party benefit from breaking it”
Also nasty little traps like “Paternity by Estoppel” was one of the main reasons I avoided single mothers(including widows) since high school as well.
Great video, Brett...👍
Thank you for your video, as hard as it has been for me to hear you are absolutely right. I have been with my current bf for 9.5 years. We got together my freshman year of college, and I have never been with another man. He has known from the beginning that I want marriage and a family but here we are almost 10 years in and no real commitment…my family are more invested in my getting married than he is. My grandma gave him her ring before Christmas. I was there when she gave it to him. He hasn’t had to buy a ring or save up or anything. Any house/apartment we have had, I have been the one to get us into. It’s starting to take its toll…if he really wanted to he would have…just eye opening
I met my wife in July 1974, got engaged in Dec 1974, got married when we graduated college 18 months later. Still together at 48 years and I don't see that changing.
Women got worse since then, generally speaking. Too many selfish gold diggers nowadays.
I'm happy things have worked out for you.
Its not so much fear of commitment its fear of losing half or more of what we've worked for. Now dragging someone along for 8 years kinda sucks but so does getting a divorce and losing custody of kids or your house and everything else you own if shes got a good enough lawyer.
Better 8 years than ruining rest of the life in any case, but women, being privileged will never understand this.
Then don't date.
@@MarkaNgamer Many reach the age of 30 and wonder what went wrong.
as soon as i saw my wife, i knew. i had never seen a woman as glowing and kind as her
Here is a scary story… My mother-in-law has been with her “boyfriend” for almost 34 years. He treats her like garbage EVERY DAY. We have tried to get her to leave countless times. They have lived in the house together and she still has a 30 year mortgage because she keeps refinancing to support him. He is now a medically dependent invalid that she takes care of because he sucks. I don’t talk to him and the kids can’t visit. She has no clout.
My fiancé knew he wanted to marry me after 1 month of dating, bought my ring after 6 months of dating, and proposed after 1 year of dating. He knew, he led, he pursued. We are getting married this fall and can't wait to start this exciting journey together. This is all true. Be intentional with your life and do not put up with nonsense - both sides need to do that.
You probably are quite a bit hotter than him, or much more financially established, and in any case (other perks), the best he ever had. He saw an excellent opportunity that he could not pass up - thus the rush / conviction. Seems like an excellent deal for both of you.
I don't want any of that - I only want to bone.
@@clauzone03 🙄. Or he knew what he wanted and she lined up to it... I swear, nobody can just accept that others were more successful at something they failed at without coming up with all sorts of excuses. Deal with it, congratulate her, and move on with your day.
Met my, now fiance, in 2022 when I came back to our old dojo. He was with his ex at the time, she cheated on him, and they broke up. About a few weeks later, we started flirting during tournament. I told him we need to figure this out and that I'm not going to involve myself with him if I'm going to be a rebound. He said I'm not a rebound because he had a crush on me and wanted to ask me out B4 I left Martial Arts. We gave it a shot in November. In December he gave me a promise ring that looked an awful lot like an engagement ring😂. On my birthday the next year he asked me to marry him as we were cuddling and I was talking about wanting to have dinner with his family. I had said yes. Didn't think much of it. He left for the military and came home for Christmas. It was this past New Year's Eve where he proposed to me properly. We will be getting married next March. I am so blessed and happy and all the feels to be marrying this man. I love him so much, he's fixed so many broken pieces of me that I could roughly put myself back together. I actually get to see him graduate AIT next week! I cannot wait to see him. Ok I'm done rambling 😖
@@RandomPerson-nd2ey Actually I was waiting for an answer from her so I can have first hand info about her competitive advantage over her competition. I bet she is either "the hot one" or "the one with the money" or the one with relationship experience, or a combo of the 3 things above. If not, I wanted to hear from her what else, so I can improve my relationship knowledge and prediction algorithms.
My husband dated his ex for almost two years and built a house without her input and without her name on it and didn’t even let her move in knowing she wasn’t the one. They broke up and we started talking a few months later, he told me he was going to marry me before we started dating and even asked me to move in (I didn’t until we were married). We were engaged less than a year after dating. Men will make it clear when they think you are their wife. 🤷🏼♀️
told my now-husband right off the bat when we got together that I don't do the casual dating thing (I was 20 at the time). I told him that I expect commitment in return for mine, and I was ready to walk away if he wasn't willing to meet me where I'm waiting for him in the middle. That as soon as I see it's not going to work long-term (I have very few but very strong deal-breakers that make things pretty black and white for me) then I'll leave. Made all of it incredibly crystal clear and he said okay.
He proposed about a month later. I know it's really soon for most people, but I think we both just *knew* we were ready to pair off with eachother for the rest of our lives and I regret nothing. But tbh....Even a year seemed a long time to me - you're telling me there's women out there waiting over eight years with no confirmed proposal in sight?????? Ladies, please don't devalue yourself like that, it's not worth it
that's...a glum way of seeing things. not to mention really one-sided. do you have a problem with marriage?
My grandpa and nana were boyfriend girlfriend for over 40 almost 50 years before they got married. Only got married for legal reasons preparing for each other's passing
Thats some underdtandable exception tho, but good for them since it what works between em
There we go :)
They lost out on all those tax benefits.
@@flpanhead Which is exactly what getting married has been distilled down to; a business transaction for tax breaks.
I'm so happy I got married super fast to a super hard working, handsome man. Neither one of us ever had second thoughts. 12 years later, 6th baby on the way. Thank God he committed to me and took me by then hand and started a life with me. ❤
damn that slave working the field hard isn't he? don't crack the whip _too_ hard now
I hope he got paternity tests
@@markc6714I love bitter incels like you 😂
@@ButterflyyyXoxo a lot of assumptions there. I am not celebrate, for starters. Just because you don't like the truth, out comes your attempt to denigrate people. It merely highlights how you have no valid feedback
My husband and I talked about marriage starting with the second date, IIRC. I just wanted to let him know that I was dating with that goal in mind, and he said he was, too. It turns out we were right for each other - we married about 13 months after our first date. :) He's a good man and I appreciate him even more because he never made me wonder about his feelings or intentions.
I, personally was in a 8 to 9 year relationship, where I was just the girlfriend. I did everything around the house as he played video games, which I didn't mind as long as he paid SOME attention to me and I'd also help pay bills. I actually got into MORE debt because of him using my name for his business, me innocently thinking we'd be together forever, how naïve am I? I'm in my late 30's and two years ago I found my best friend, someone who will be the opposite of my ex, to be my lifetime partner and now fiancé. Thanks for the debt ad too. Good on producers for adding this for people like me lol.
My husband talked about marrying me 2 months into dating after 7 months of dating he proposed and we got married a month later. ❤️
We’ve been together for about 5 years now 💕✝️
This is the way.
He's very fortunate to know who he wants to marry. Congratulations!!!
The average marriage in the USA lasts 8 years.
My parents got married two months into dating each other. They are divorced now.
A blessing on men who know what the want and need in a woman, and don't screw around and play dumb games when they find one who rings that bell.
I was in a relationship with a guy for 6 years. He never wanted to make a commitment. After he dumped me, 5 months later I met my husband. Been married almost 10 years. Ladies, you will not change the minds of a guy who says he doesn’t want to commit. Move on.
translation: _I was being used as a fleshlight by chad for 6 years, and finally realized he wouldn't commit (duh!) and suckered some simp to take the leftovers._
send your -slave- _"husband"_ my condolences.
wrong. with legal system which favors women its stupid for a man to get married
@@lifemocker85She proved YOU wrong. Men who live in fear will have no legacy to leave behind.
@@nicolcacola wrong. men do not fear, theyre just too smart to be scammed by greedy selfish women. also insufferable women end up being single mothers
@@nicolcacola There's nothing wrong with leaving no legacy behind. All family lines can end in the next generation due to factors outside of the children or the parents control.
My 1 year relationship just ended with someone I was waiting for, who was wishy washy and he left me when I was at my lowest. This advice is sound and I’m glad that I’m still young and no longer waiting on anyone and moving forward with my life ❤️ I learnt it the hard way, please be very careful with who you choose to commit to 🤞
My dad warned me about this! He said to have guy freinds and only date a guy if and for how long he seems to be marriage material. So I didn't date until I met a guy who seemed promising and shared the same perspective on dating as me. I knew he was the one right around a month in. Had a classy, but cheap wedding as soon as was realistic (the Catholic Church recommends between 6 months and a year, so we did 6 months). 8 Years later, we share a home that we both remodel. He brings in the money, and I take care of our kids and house maintenance. I've gotten 3 rings out of the deal at that😂 (I keep losing them no matter how careful😢). As prude as it seems to people these days, the less you give a guy, the more you know he is hanging around for you! We didn't even really care about physical appearance... we love the way the other looks just because it is a part of who they are. THE LEVEL OF PEACE! OUT OF THIS WORLD!
My husband and I were broke af when we were dating. After a year, he proposed. THIS MAN WAS WORKING 100 HOURS A WEEEEEEK just so he could buy me an engagement ring. We got pregnant before we got married. He moved in with me immediately and ever since, I have never paid a bill or have even taken out the trash. Four years with him. Ah man. I adore this man. They’re out there. (But by the way, that doesn’t make marriage easy. It’s still hard even if you marry the most awesome person ever lol)
Man just _fiending_ for that slave life lmao
*send that poor bastard my condolences.*
He sounds like a slave.
100 hours a week? And you don't work? Crazy talk
Trash human being
I was a girlfriend for 11 years before getting married because I had no desire to involve the government in my relationship. No financial or religious advantages either. When we started building a house together we wanted to be married in case there was an accident so we could see each other in the hospital. Marriage does not equal commitment. Marriage is a government granted contract.
Indeed
👏🏽 *Say it louder for the people in the back!* 🔥
The only ppl that actually deserve a marriage are ppl that think like you… congrats on the marriage :)
Together 10 years
We’ve been through my mother’s three cancers, being leukemia the latest and hardest one (still battling)
My hypothyroidism diagnosis
His father’s dementia.
His unemployment due to Covid closures.
His knee surgery.
My infertility journey and acceptance.
We own a house, but we are not able to afford the wedding we both want and deserve 🤣
So yeah, saving up for that! 💪🏾
*Everyone deserves to have their Dream wedding.. I can relate with the struggles.. Me and My partner have been through a lot as well!*
Can't you just do document first? then have a wedding ceremony when you are ready.
@@yothiga👉🏽 *Like; Why!?* 👈🏽
My brother and his wife got married in my mother's home by a member of her church. The church official wasn't allowed to take money for his services, so my brother gave him a batch of his homemade salsa. Moral of the story. The marriage is a lot more important than the wedding. But I will say that was a memorable wedding.
@@TerryProthero *I've been to several weddings and after being a guest at those weddings made Me realize I want to do things differently.. because if I do get married I want it to be this "once in a lifetime" thing without having any regrets.. getting married in secret on/at a remote location/destination with a Professional photographer.. a little wedding cake.. a bottle of Champagne and a honeymoon afterwards would be the most perfect for Me & My partner.. so we can have a unforgettable wedding and actually enjoying ourselves without having to worry about anything/anyone else!*
I'm a little conflicted on this topic. I know sometimes it's just guys who don't want to commit, but i don't think it's that simple.
I dated my husband for 7 years. We've been married 18 years now and have 4 kids together.
I would have married him way earlier. I was frustrated by how long it took. But he wanted to wait for his college work to be done. Then a hurricane destroyed his family's home and the everything into chaos for awhile.
He kept expressing his commitment and desire to get married, he just kept feeling like he wasn't ready for marriage and children, like we were too young. His parents agreed that you shouldn't get married too young (in early 20s) there was all this outside pressure that we would screw up our lives if we tried to rush things that confused him. I think there is this undercurrent in society that makes people/especially guys feel like they aren't ready for the step of marriage. They've been attacked and immasculated for so long, they don't feel like they are good enough. Like they need more degrees, a better job, more money, before they can get married. You take a bunch of guys and brainwash them for years that they need tons of higher education and fancy office jobs. You brainwash women that they need to get a good career before children. And it's no wonder that some people feel like they have to check all these boxes before they can get married. And when college became the norm, you moved the benchmark from "after we graduate high school" to "after college" "after graduate school" "after i get settled in my job." Society doesn't want us to feel like adults ready for marriage. They want us to feel like kids who can't do anything for ourselves. They want us to waste our best fertile years, because Even if we do start having children right away, we can't have as many of we get married older.
I think just judging guys as a bunch of selfish players is short sighted. There are way more factors here at play that need to be considered. And we've all been manipulated and misled for a really long time.
He put her in the fun zone not the marriage zone. He may have charged her rent so it could not be classified as a Common Law Marriage. He could say she was a roommate with benefits. Women often choose the wrong guy. They choose the guy they want and feel they can change that guy. You cannot change a man. If you are getting everything without getting married why get married. Then no divorce no losing half of everything. They should have had a talk somewhere around the two year mark.
There's only a handful of states that even have anything on the books that recognize common law marriage. She's probably better off claiming squatter's rights.
@@sonoftheredfox Squatter? No. She's a tennant at best...
He protected himself. He's a wise man.
"...then no divorce losing half of everything"... Again, PRENUP. I'm just gonna keep saying it. This lame divorce excuse shows the dumb, selfish side of someone. Marriage and divorce are legal contracts. If you want certain terms, you agree LEGALLY on PAPER before you sign up.
@@lindarockower6028 WRONG!!! My Pre-Nup was invalidated in my DIE-vorce (11JAN24).
once dated this girl and knew I wasn't gonna marry her. I accidentally dropped in a conversation that whoever she marries is gonna be a challenge. felt bad but don't regret it
You did her a favor. Why waste her time and mess with her heart? The best thing, though, would have been to break up with her, and let her know exactly why. Some women think if they hang on, the guy will change.
At 42 I had a tough time dating as so many men even at this age didn’t know what they wanted still. I finally found a wonderful man that was marriage minded and we are engaged and planning our life together. He is completely committed to us and our future. I never wasted my time with men that were not worth my time
My husband and I are together for 11 years and married one year ago. Marriage didn’t change our relationship. Same as before except the „husband“ „boyfriend“ thing (sorry, English isn’t my first language). More important for me is the way how u treat each other and communication. 😃
I was engaged for 8 years, my fiancé refused to start planning the wedding, i eventually broke things off, but now I’m 29m and struggling to find girlfriends
🤣💥🎉🎊🙌
Go overseas bro. It helps. You can meet alot of woman who have traditional mindset and views on marriage. But you must hold up your end of traditional marriage as well. Leave the feminism at the departure gate. Embrace your manhood and be a leader to a wonderful woman and connect with God.
There is no way of knowing what would happen if you married, chances are you two would have ended up broking things up anyway... marriage doesnt change things magically... only legally which in today's day tends to be more of a detrainment to most men unfortunately.
Not knowing your sex gives me at least 3 different interpereations for your comment 😅
Stop trying. That's a huge thing. Women want what they can't have. If you actively seek a relationship, you come off as desperate to them. Focus on yourself.
I don't really want to be that guy but if there was a dude in this situation he would be praised for "Being a good man that helps his woman to have a nice house while at the same time helping with the chores and renovating the house"... but because it's a woman she's being used and she's insecure.
I know it by a fact because I have a male friend who is paying his girlfriend's mortgage and they are not even married.
Not a smart move on either side to use your own money to make big payments on someone you’re not married to.
its nothing to do with being smart, couples invest in each other, but in 90% of cases its men investing on women. @@beautyandbrainz
Its the fact that he's making her pay rent while she also pays for the renovations, but the house is only in his name. Shows where he sees her in his life.
I don't think so. I would tell him that he is an idiot. Just as I told my cousin he was an idiot for paying all bills for a girl that was not his girlfriend and was not committed to become his girlfriend. Regardless of sex, everybody should keep their dignity.
@@beautyandbrainz Marriage doesn't mean anything. You see brides cheating on their wedding day, you see married men cheating on their wives. Marriage doesn't guarantee anything.
My partner popped the question on our first day as a couple (we've known each other for some months from work) then not even one year later he officially proposed with a ring on his knee when he first met my family (they live in a different country). He brought me to his home country to meet his family after a couple of months of dating. Now nearly 3 years later we have a baby due in 2 months and are in the process of buying a home together. We had our arguments and nearly broke up (way before the baby was conceived), however, we worked through things and learned how to listen to each other and things are better than ever. I feel sorry when people waste their precious time on the wrong people. especially when in the back of your head you are fully aware of it
When I first saw the thumbnail and title for the video I had mixed thoughts and needed more context. I immediately thought of my own relationship with my boyfriend and how we likely won't be married until after at least 7 years because we were 16 when we met and with me going to college and him going to the air force it'll be pretty impossible to get married until after I graduate and he has served his time. But after watching the video I've realized that my situation and the situation in the video are so incredibly different and she needs to get out. My boyfriend and I might be together for just as long before we get married, but we've wanted to get married ever since we started dating and that's the big difference.
I was with my wife for 3 years before I popped the question, and people still had the audacity to challenge our commitment to each other
8 years no ring?😳
Either he wants a prenup and is afraid to ask for it OR your just not wife material. I don't blame him, after losing the house i built with these hands to my Ex-wife i wouldn't even DREAM of getting married again without a prenup. PERIOD.
Maybe she is not a wife. There is a lot we don't know.
yeah i think this too
@@houseofhas9355 very true. However we can come to some logical conclusions. If you dont "know" after 8 years then shes not the one. The men i know who are married will tell you they knew really quick they were going to marry. (Within 6 months) 🤷🏼♂️ BUT your right, we dont know the guy, there might be another factor we are not considering.
@@iamme25yago 🫵🏼👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👍🏻
why? Do you personally know everything they go through?
Men explain what they fear about marriage nonstop (divorce, courts,loss of children) and women will do any amount of mental gymnastics to try and say that it’s something else. Fear of commitment, she’s just not the one. Maybe just listen to what we are saying, and take it at face value.
I have a friend in this similar situation. Been with the man for about 6 years. Heart just sinks hearing this is happening more and more 💔
If a man doesn't want to propose or get married, it's because he's protecting his assets
Women have assets too!
@iamme25yago EXACTLY 👏
It’s because he is using you
To think as an animal ends very low.
@@Kwildcat13 Marriage is a utilization mechanism for women. All men who fall for marriage are being used.
If he hasn't proposed, YOU'RE NOT HER!!!
Men marry the one they want.
Don't marry too quickly. Don't marry someone that proposes too quick as well. 🚩🚩🚩
@@bulletproof2868
*Facts!* 🤷🏽♀️
@@iamme25yago
*Exactly!*
*Being married isn't a priority if your relationship is fine the way it is!*
I would say dont marry at all, just be with the person you love, in the end that is all that matters truly. Or what should anyway. If you are waiting for a ring to confirm that he loves you, then i would say you have insecurities to work out in the relationship to begin with.
How long do we get until we have to propose? Who decides?
is Brett serious? The penalties men face from divorce are insane. Protecting ourselves is not as all a bad thing and we won't be beaten down for it.
I did wait 11 years to marry my husband. Up until then, we both contributed to the household bills.We both had bills we were responsible for, and with the rent, he paid more because he made more. We both wanted and worked on improving our finances before we set the date. I was in debt because of school, and he was in debt because of poor financial decisions when he was younger. That was the best for us. And we did talk about marriage, and we were engaged after 2 yrs together. But living as a married couple without the legal commitment, and no plans to become legal when one wants it, will not work.
Me and my boyfriend of 10 years decided we don’t want the government involved. Have multiple homes owned fully. No debt. I cook and clean for him all while wearing a ring.
That's kind of what my boyfriend and I decided. We want no government involvement, but we have a house in both our names.
That’s valid! At least there’s some form of established commitment that you both agreed on. Problem is when there it’s a non-committed long term relationship
That should be the standart actually and thats My point of view too, like i couldnt give a sh!t about the gov standpoint, so me and My gf should keep a healthy relationship to ourselves.... To Bad i don't have a GF cause every girl i have met is broken kahahah 😂
Yep, same here, we've been together 18 years, call each other husband and wife (even though we're not, on paper), have 4 children and have everything in both our names
There you go. Finally, it's refreshing to see a girl that understands that people don't need marriage to be committed.
I've been through the pain of dating western woman for years, and never felt like I could seriously marry any of my previous exes. I met my stunning Guatemalan girlfriend late last year and she is absolutely wife material. Men will quickly know if a woman is marriage material or not and act relatively quickly on it. I just bought her engagement ring yesterday and am planning on popping the question soon.
What you just described is the classic case of the “seven year itch”. I’m glad this is being more noticeable.
Brett! I think it'd be so interesting if you did an episode on the celebrity cloning theory/clone island!!
Get rid of everything the government imposed that goves women the benefits of divorce, and then maybe men will marry again.
I doubt it. I say that because even in your statement you say, " _maybe_ men will marry again". Divorce court is the convenient excuse for men not wanting to look. There's all kind of excuses the terminally online men give, but the true core is and always will be fear of the unknown.
@@ellencox8415sorry Ellen, you're wrong. As a man who's lost it all in a divorce, i assure you the primary reason men don't marry is the imbalance of legalities. Every guy knows another guy who has the horror story. Not a single one of my friends has married - i'm the only one in the whole gang - and I got absolutely obliterated. Men fear the courts and the court of public opinion, not the woman or commitment.
they divorce you bc yall are useless and they out earn you anyways, yall are pdf files lusting after the young and crying croco tears for your "gold" that is not existing
@@diamondthree you're going to have to define, "who's lost it all in a divorce." because this vague and hyperbolic of a comment is only reality if you were incarcerated at the time of the divorce.
@@ellencox8415 explain why women file 75% of all divorces. You can't pretend the system isn't rigged agaisnt men when women will openly brag about how much they take from their exs
Just a note to young conservatives, don’t feel bad for dating for years if you started dating in high school and choose to go to college. Get married when the time is right and you can afford it.