@@lesxo4306 People enact a plan that suits THEM in order to achieve THEIR desired goal at that moment in time. It's only by displaying the same assertiveness as them, and enacting a plan that may take you towards YOUR desired goal, that there's a chance of waking them up and making them aware of what they're missing. Which is done by suggesting that the possibility of something more than just a quick "wham, bam, thank you ma'am" may be worth considering.
@@jacob_massengale sex is lust by nature it's a purely physical thing it's not love love it a spiritual I keep the two seperate in my mind Makes my life Alot more stress free Plus makes it harder for people to manipulate me through sex and people will indeed try to manipulate you by used sex Infact people will try take advantage by literally any means they can come up with
When I tell people that I don't drink, they automatically assume I was an alcoholic. I guess it's the same way when you tell people that you are not interested in any relationship, they assume there's something wrong with you. People just cannot accept that we are all different.
I don’t want to have sex till I find someone who I have feelings for. I’m in my mid 30’s and still a virgin for that reason. People think they’s something wrong with me, but I don’t like the idea of using someone. I value people and myself, and I don’t want to hurt or use anyone.
I made the mistake of giving my virginity to someone I thought was "the one." In retrospect she so obviously wasn't the one, and I was definitely pressured into sex by her. She's the only mistake I will ever make when it comes to sex. I've lived the last 8 years in self-hate, only now accepting the situation for what it really was and moving on from it. Sex with someone who lusts you, not loves you, isn't worth it, trust me. That's why marriage and sex are married in most monotheistic religions.
I went monk (no sex, just worked on me inner self) for over 7 years. This allowed me not to try to go after women for just carnal means. Not allowing myself to think about women in a sexual way allowed we to think about the mate I actually wanted to end up with. I eventually did find that mate and have a very happy life with her. Sexual desire clouds the mind and our society today is obsessed with the desire for sex.
Good for you. Ironically, the people who end up having the most fulfilling relationships are the ones who don't need it them per se. It's like a bonus, but you don't need them to survive mentally.
@@callidawkins85 What if you are forced into marriage or trafficking by your family without your consent? It's not easy to speak against it especially when you have no one else listening to your side,stop being f***King judgemental
As a loner, inveterate romantic who takes seriously the quality of my relationships and is waiting for the one, I 100% agree with the video. It's exhausting how shallow are people nowadays.
Been celibate now for almost 9 years. I get flare ups of wanting a relationship, but I know I'm not capable of sharing myself fully with another person, so it would become unhealthy very quickly. In that span of time I've broken down, built back up, changed drastically, grown, regressed, grown again. It's been an amazing experience that I know I would not have had, if I'd pursued a relationship with someone else. What I have now is a relationship with me, and it's more satisfying than I ever expected it to be.
I think that’s beautiful, society should not look down upon being single. I’ve tried both, and so far I prefer being single quite a lot. I’ll wait and see what happens, either way I’m good and not dependent on being in a relationship like the majority
@@joyempire462 If your partner wants to be celibate that'd be more than ideal, but the irony is people do not enter the relationships to be celibate, they want romance and a thick fuck.
I've been celibate for 7ish years now. I enjoy redirecting my energy into my hobbies(: I could never have enough sex. It was like getting hungry for food, even after you eat, you'll get hungry again in several hours. It was so exhausting chasing women to satisfy my sex drive. Definitely got easier the longer I went without sex. I'm content.
I am a male in my 30´s, still a virgin, never tasted a beer, never smoked. I am self employed, 2 Masters degrees, own my own house without a mortgage, I always have food to eat, exercise at 4AM everyday. I do desire companionship but I prefer to wait long than to marry wrong
Try Eastern philosophies. Maybe a monastic life and the search for enlightenment is what you need. Marriage might take away all you have worked for. Most divorces started as soulmates.
Stop waiting. What will be will be. If the very first woman you love will destroy all you have worked for, so be it. There is no guarantee. Chances are that if women actually desired you, they would have approached you and you would never have resisted successfully - and that is the case with most guys. This means they will marry you for your success, and you never know their agenda.
You should change your strategy. What does the house bring you? I sold mine and am now free of boundaries. Instead of always doing the same thing, you could leave your path. What you describe as successful is not a factor that makes it worthwhile. It's crazy how much time you invest and don't question whether it's really effective.
I’ve never understood why people think giving in to the most animalistic and carnal desire, somehow made them better than others who didn’t. Wasn’t self control important for human beings?
@@reitairue2073 hahaha I loan them cash and charge them interest without remorse, most of them have bitten more than they can chew, and I laugh inwardly everyday.
I just spent one of the greatest nights with a girl and we didn't even touch at all. We had dinner, we drank vodka, smoked and talked all night and still watched the sunrise. We cried while I drove her home and it was honestly one of the best 12 hours I've ever spent and I would never change for however long sex could last
@thelovelylife7451 It's gotten worse over time. She recently confessed her feelings for me and I had already done that long ago but she's not emotionally available right now. Still zero physical contact and it is pretty overwhelming
@@rabbit_aizakku Me too, though I already accepted whatever destiny throws at me because at this point I'm just tired. Because, even if something did happen between us, there's no guarantee things are going to go smoothly or even work out, though I do appreciate everyone's good vibes. I hope and I wish it does work out but everything can always be bad, so might as well learn to be grateful with existence. At least I'm not 100% insecure, my best friend is my roommate, I have a stable job and fun hobbies, what more can a person ask for? A relationship wouldn't fill the void, and if it did...
When I began not pursuing all this, my power, creativity, and inner strength exponentially improved. I also stopped attracting unconscious beings and stopped GIVING valuable energy to things not serving me. Self-respect. Passion for life. Inner world, first.
As a virgin I believe in love before sex. If I ended up being alone and die a virgin then that’s ok. I think it’s cool and not everyone can accomplish that when they’ve died.
@@madridpool4420 when u fall in love with a boy but he just want to use u and deceive u, u start to stay away and idc if there is no love im willing to be alone until i die
I'm 23 and I've never had any kind of intimacy with a person of the opposite sex, not even holding hands, and I've been depressed because of it for many years. Thanks for the video, it made me feel a little better
no head = no headaches strokes or negative emotions, just because something has negative effects doesnt mean its bad, we must weigh both the negative and positive effects of each. everyone has their own reasons to have or not have sex ranging from enjoying intimate time with partner creating a stronger bond, just plain fun or procreation, your case seems more like the fable of the fox who said "the grapes were sour anyway"
@@Atom9855_asdf people can live without sex; haven't heard of people that can live without their heads, though. It's true that we have to weigh pros and cons, which is why your comparison makes no sense. The difference between the pros and cons of cutting your head off is much larger than the difference between the pros and cons of engaging in sex.
I've been a virgin all my life due to trauma. After trying so many times and becoming more and more frustrated as well as disappointed, I decided to stay single and keep being a virgin in my late 30s.
I'm sort of in similar shoes minus the trauma and age difference (19) but I've been a virgin for other performance issues and decided to stay that way to keep me sane
@alluring bliss same story friend same age :,) I started to clean even deeper what is making me stay in a poor mentality & not good enough or not feeling of value/worth. It was a very hard truth to swallow, but my own family has bern spilling poison in my ears that made me feel even smaller, i realized them being in my way, ive known for 20-30 years, but since they were my family & i depended on their help because the traumas caused physical illnesses in my stomach. Aporox 3 weeks ago i decided to cut ties with everyone who diminishes me, yes i could not care about what they say. But seeing how my entire life & view of myself has been coloured by them & other naysayers, i felt this is my life and i'll go on alone now, or at least put rocus on getting my life together. I also understand putting boundaries is the key & say & do whatever you feel & mean without caring what others will feel or think about you. Let them have their opinions. Being real & authentic=freedom You sift the timewasters from those who vibe with you, by being oneself
For me I'm still a virgin at 29 because of sexual awkwardness and just don't know how to go about it so I'm just content with myself and going at my own pace of being a man in progress
I am 67, I had a string of long term relationships since I was in my mid 20s. After my last breakup (very amicable) 6 years ago, I decided not to date anymore. I love my life now, Serenity, no fights, no arguments ,no need to be accountable for every moment of my existence, no need to spend time doing boring things for the sake of the relationship...I could go on LOL I regret not having come to this conclusion sooner. Life is good
It’s easy to be a monk after you’ve met these desires and aged out of the obsessive phase. It’s liberating to be past those limitations, social illusions, controls and manipulations.
@@reitairue2073 The sexual revolution changed that, people now can live in hedonism without any short-term consequence. The only thing that opposes to all of this is morality.
I have to agree. My mental health started going down hill when I tried to have a casual relationship. After about a month I called things off and I'm doing way better now
I think this is happening to me right now went 2 yrs w/o sex then a few weeks ago I had sex with Someone I met at nightclub I mean it happened so fast 💨
@@whatafablad312 having sex and having serious relationships are two very different things You can still have sex but for causal fun and without expecting serious relationship both sides You may have a serious relationship later on,but at that time you can't give sex more priority or base the relationship on it I should say it's like eating junk food, there is nothing wrong with eating occasionally but if you eat it daily,then you might have problems
The best sex I ever had was when I was in love. Lustful one night stands or fwb never satisfied me the way it did when I was in a relationship. Messing around alot is not fun but damaging. It's better to find that special one to share that energy with .
Truth as you become an adult i agree but teenage yrs nah i like the variety the universe makes so mny different shapes, sizes, colors and styles we didn’t come to experience one
i'm 22 and i just don't understand why people so obsessed with it, like damn this world have much more interesting things than poking each other with genitals and wasting your time on other people
It’s fun, it’s sensual, it feels so natural and good to connect with people like that. It’s not just poking each other. Have you ever gotten oral? It’s pure bliss!
I spent 40 years trying to satisfy an itch that could not be scratched, no matter how hard I tried. I think about the time, energy, money, and pieces of my soul I threw away and wasted. Before you say it wasn't a waste, or not as bad as I imagine, you had to be in my shoes to know all the details. If I'd had the ability to channel it, or have the focus to be celibate, I feel that my life would look quite different now. At any rate, this video sure made me see things in a different light. I always wondered why anyone would choose to be celibate and I see it now as the freedom it can give, not an unthinkable sacrifice, assuming you do it for the right reasons and with a healthy frame of mind.
@@nowanobady Could have a lot of implications, one of them being divorce, and divorce itself has a lot of implications that could drive one mental & suicidal. Meaning not pursuing "celibacy" could be the best thing he can do now, based on the cards on the table.
I had my first sex a few months ago with a close friend (also a virgin at the time), and we planned it to make everything memorable. We rented a place far away from the city in a winter forest. Initially, both of us were excited about the sexual adventures we were gonna have, but then sex became just one of the pleasant memories we from the trip. It wasn't better than everything else we did on the trip -- the walks in the forest, stargazing, philosophical talks till dawn, cooking, -- it was just part of it. Honestly, waiting for what a lot of people would consider a long time was one of the best decisions for me. A lot of people used to ask me why I was a virgin, that I'm missing out or just to get over with it, and that's the main problem in my opinion. I don't think that sex should be something sacred, but it's not something you just get into simply because everyone does.
@@africakalahari4477 I wouldn't say it's sacred, it's just precious to me. I think back to it fondly, like remembering a childhood memory. My friend and I still joke a lot about the silly things we did back then, and it just adds sort of a homey feeling to the whole experience.
I'm a 22 year old virgin and I'm honestly fine with it. Sure, the stigma sucks, but romantic relationships have never really been a priority for me, let alone sex. I'm not asexual since I do hope to find a special someone one day, but I just don't have the desire to have sex with anyone I don't view as a potential partner (demisexual, if you prefer that term).
@barrytelesford5265 Being a virgin does not bother me. As I've stated, I'm demisexual, which means it's near impossible for me to feel sexual attraction without forming a deep connection with someone first. As for the "hope", I've struggled with interpersonal relationships my whole life. I hope to find some good friends and a life long companion, not get laid. If I wanted to do that, Tinder and Grindr make it trivial to do so. Not having sex is totally fine, but loneliness is not.
@LegendaryITA please educate yourself on demisexuality lol. I'm not waiting patiently for sex, I literally do not want it. The only acception would be with someone I knew for a decent amount of time on a very deep level. It's about intimacy for me, not the act or the result.
The last time I had sex with someone, I had no feelings for them, and I didn’t even find them attractive. I gave into my lust and I felt disgusted and broken afterwards.
In a way,there is nothing wrong with having sexual attraction if you are not being controlled by it and doing it with the other person for self desires for both sides
Exactly, it's rather subjective. It depends on one's views, opinions and choices and how one wishes to live. Having sex or abstaining from it, doesn't make you better than others in any way.
@@wrathbeatbox8177no, having sexuality outside marriage is very haram in İslam.., Thus, waiting till marriage is the key to happiness and ultimate sexual satisfaction.
This video seems to be more of a critique of casual sex and/or a dependency on sex. Personally, the way I see it, sex, just like any other desire can be used and abused and an unhealthy relationship with it can affect your mental health negatively. Sexual repression is of course not good either. It really is all about balance.
For what I've seen it's a powerful thing. One doesn't need much for it take effect. However, it's one of those things that people do too much of. Too easily. It's also one of things that have been weaponized. Throughout history and even now and inevitably into the future; it's been weaponized. Used by people to get things. Anything. From status, money, attention etc. I think that's it's worsed nature.
that's how i quit smoking cigarettes... i was like if I can make it through the peak of my youth without sex I sure as hell can make it without cigarettes
I had numerous hook ups, and while I thought to be cool because I could literally have sex with anyone,I felt deeply alone and it hurts a lot because people would only view me sexually and use me that way. I often had sex prematurely with potential partners which ruined our relationship and my trust for intimacy since they would often initiate the act without consent. Sex with time became empty and more hurting. I felt alone even during the act. The desire for sex is rooted in our desire to be loved and I'm currently waiting for that person who would embrace me like that, and no longer use me sexually
Hey, thank you for putting it in this perspective, it does happen, and nobody can judge you. You could have been in a different mind state when you were having casual sex and that’s okay. Now that you are in a different mind state, I hope you find someone who holds you, loved you and blows your back out in the way you desire to be loved. It’s not for anyone to judge you, you are human after all and like Eizen said, this desire is rooted in our nature as humans so we should extend that grace to ourselves and not put ourselves under unnecessary pressure… I wish you all the love you deserve dear ❤
I've NEVER been so proud of my v card. I'm a 28 year old asexual man. People used to say I was less than or their eyes would pop out of their head when I said it doesn't interest me. To get out of people trying to set me up with girls all the time telling me I shouldn't be alone my whole life, I'm ashamed to say I would say I was gay just to be left the heck alone. I hide nothing now. No setups please. I'm a very proud hermit. I'm good for population control LOL
HELL YEAH BROTHER! FIGHT THOSE JERKS WHO DENY YOU! this isn’t satire, i’m completely serious. I’m so sorry people tried to set you up with girls despite your wishes, i couldn’t even imagine that. stand strong, brother. stand strong and proud.
Good on you, just be yourself and respect yourself, regardless of what people say or think. People don't understand that some people are different. I find being asexual fascinating, I guess because I'm highly sexual myself, not being attracted to anyone, or these days 'anything' lol, and not having any sexual desires. If I may ask, why do you think that is the case with you personally? There are those who believe that is the denial of one's own natural sexuality, while others think it's a disorder caused by shame of sexuality, anxiety or sexual abuse.
@@DEE-qu5mc that guy didn't reply, but I will, when you say Shane, I think shame in myself, self esteem so low that I feel like I am actually doing women a favour by considering myself a non-sexual person, this, my horrible, ugly, weird self can never be a threat to them as "some guy who thinks they can get with her"... I can't imagine myself having sex, I can't imagine anyone would want to with me and I can't imagine myself having sex with someone in the normal voluntary sense. I see myself as someone nobody would want to, therefore I am doing the right thing by others in thinking of myself so negatively in that regard. People can't tell me I'm undesirable if I show them that I already know I'm undesirable and wouldn't bother them in the first place thinking I have a chance.
@@TheStealthyOne6 I hope those jerks get falsely accused of sexual assault one day because when they want to have sex with random people there is a chance that someone will falsely accuse them of sexual assault
If I had seen a video like this 20 years ago, how many problems and disappointments would I have avoided, how much maturity would I have achieved. How much precious energy of mine I wasted during most of these years. Being in love or sexually attracted to someone is pleasurable, no doubt, but I feel much happier when I go a long time without falling in love or being sexually interested in someone. I feel freer and more myself. Now I have been for over 2 years without any intimate contact with anyone. When I spend a long period like this without anyone, I sometimes feel guilty, because society (the family included, obviously) incessantly demands that we are with someone (even my mother went over her own homophobia and asked me to even be with a man, since I'm not interested in women), but thanks to a video like this I'm reflecting better on it and not I see more why I feel guilty about not meeting the expectations of others when I should focus on meeting my own expectations of myself. Thanks to you for reading this.
I agree, I have also noticed that I'm much happier being single and spending more energy to the right direction than being with someone feels often like loosing myself.
@@Cub__ I am what's called a 'homosexual' man (I don't like to use sexual orientation labels, but I am a man who is exclusively attracted to other men).
I think that some people who look at sex as an itch to scratch (based on my experience with an ex who described it as exactly that), are people who barely enjoy sex at all or use it as a means of self-service, rather than lovemaking. There's nothing wrong with choosing to be celibate. I think people should figure out what's right for them, so long as they aren't hurting anyone. I think someone like Tesla would agree with the concept of experimentation being necessary to understand anything. That applies to the self as well.
Yeah, i agree, and it is part of the problem, of course you will have an problematic relation with sex if you see it only as an urge, an desire that needs to be fulfilled, and not as an opportunity to connect with another human being.
I could never imagine having sex with someone just for the "fun" of it, doing it with strangers or people you barely know, it feels like you lose part of yourself if you can give your body away so easily, which is why I will only ever be intimate with someone I truly love, and the feelings are mutual.
I wholeheartedly agree. I only have sex with people I can imagine having a kid with. Because, even though there a multiple forms of birth control, 1) they are never 100 % safe and 2) creating a new life together is, in essence, the point of sex. This opinion has brought me to the incredible body count of 1 at age 25. Do I feel bad about my low body count? Not at all. In fact, I think it's pretty gross to think about your sexual partners as just "bodies" and I can't shake the feeling I'd feel cheap and hurt if I had sex with a stranger or someone I had no true connection with.
I can't really control whatever ppl had in life but I have to agree the amount of ppl chill with casual sex is creepy... condoms don't always work, birth control pills usually came with side effects, abortion isn't a free option for many ppl, but when it is ppl also forget to tell it can also drain you mentally and physically
I'm asexual, which means I have no sexual interest in anyone, but having watched friends go through hookups and dangerous situations and the inevitable drama that follows, I'm glad not to have any desire for it. I've heard many people say that is it 'hard' to go without, and causes sexual frustration etc which I acknowledge as valid, and although us asexuals have to deal with discrimination, invalidation and being told we're 'broken', the majority of the time it seems to have made my life easier. What you say about romance, though - I do experience romantic attraction, and it is indeed very distracting to have a crush or fall in love with someone, and as long as I'm around people that aren't my family that will always be the case, but I agree with what Tesla says about romantic passion being a form of fuel for one's creativity - provided one doesn't allow it to take over your life. Great video ❣
I honestly relate to this and its really frustrating because I have friends who dont believe me because i had crushes/romantic interests in the past. I wish that people would understand that we are not broken, especially in a sex driven generation like this
I sincerely hope that you find from life all that is comforting. Maybe comforting isn't the right word, but for lack, anyway I hope you know what I mean.
I've been married for 15 years, and have known my partner for 19. We've had sex maybe a handful of times, but it just wasn't a big thing for us. Physical intimacy can be met in far more ways than just sex. I'm fine, my partner is fine. We're both okay with not being sexual.
I’m glad there’s at least video that is against sex… I’m tired of our society trying to convince everybody to have sex because it’s “cool” but I find nothing cool about it… as a woman, so many men have tried to manipulate and hound me into having sex with them but i don’t want sex or any intimate relationship… the other thing is most people that “want sex” are looking for lust not love nowadays…
I am not saying you are wrong in being celibate but seeking 'validation' from people with similar opinions isn't good. Ofc, birds of a feather flock together but doing that is like stroking one's ego.
This was pretty deep. When you seek physical pleasure, you are allowing your nonintelligent mind to take over your thoughts. It focuses your mind on pleasurable things rather than things that are more substantial to you. I just realized how much brain capacity I was wasting thinking about pleasure. It disables your logical thinking.
It's only when you keep it at top priority It's nothing bad if you keep it under control I never had sex with anyone but yeah i had thought about having and masturbated multiple times,while thinking about it the whole day But now I can keep it under control and do it only only sometimes (And i mean masturbation,not sex)
I'm 19 years old and I'm a virgin, and a couple months ago I had this urge to have sex, as if my life wasn't started because I haven't had sex, I've now realized it wasn't because I wanted sex, but because I wanted to get that weight off my shoulders. I actually don't think I'm ready to have this kind of intimacy with another person, I haven't done it because I still don't feel ready. It's not that I don't ever want to have sex, it's just that I don't want it to happen yet, and I think that's ok, I don't want to force myself, so I'll do it whenever I feel ready and I have no shame about it.
Because of the social stigma I lost my virginity at 17 while I wasn’t ready nor was I with a partner I loved. It was horrible and it really messed up my view on sex. Now, three years later, I am thinking more about my choices involving sex. It’s really important to only do it when it feels right and with a person you care about.
I go through periods of not wanting to share my body with anyone and it feels amazing. Nowadays I hardly have any interest in it and I’m only 30, but I have a very fulfilling life. So many other ways to spend your time.
I'm gonna be 20 this year and never felt the need to have sex to have a fullfilling life. I've awesome friends, I love spending time by myself and chasing my dreams. You can have a happy fullfilling life even without sex. Finding your true self and your true potential in life is the best joy ever in my opinion.
The sexual transmutation is also a thing in Freud‘s psychoanalysis theory: the libido is nothing else but life energy. We can use our libido for sex but also for „higher“ purposes, something that we love to do. When we are passionate about something, that is where our libido is going.
Well, I'm asexual and this is my experience. I can't feel any pleasure or curiosity about sex, when I was younger I thought I was born broken because of my lack of motivation about sex. Then, I just stopped thinking about it and I began to practice Buddhism. Now I feel better about myself and I think this is the best decision of my life!
Personally, I feel like denying an entire part of my humanity isn't something I wish to do, however in essence, what I got from this video is to take things in moderation and that it should be the case for every aspect of our lives. Through seeing the anecdotes of people that go to the extreme ends of pleasure, spirituality, studies, etc., I personally conclude that we just need to find a healthy balance, that solitude, spirituality, sexual desires, entertainment and social interactions should all coexist in harmony. Though that's a lot harder said than done.
I haven't had sex for the last 3 years (except for 1 time), but that's not because I'm against it- I'm just not that bothered about it and happy just living my life. Of course, things could change, and I am open to that. But that's they key. Not getting caught up in dogma. Being willing to change with the seasons of life etc. Nothing wrong with sex, in fact in can be a Beautiful experience- much like reading a good book, or listening to music, or watching a sunset can be. But it's not something you NEED, and certainly not something you need every single day like most people think.
Thank you for this video! I've been 13+ years single (I'll be turning 36 in a few weeks) and without sex for the same period of time. Sex is a form of bonding for me hence I couldn't have casual sex (been there, done that, hated it). Haven't met anyone all these years who would want to explore a relationship with me, so I'll remain single and celibate until I perhaps meet that special person one day. For now I have accepted my solitude and do enjoy my single life.
@@pzg2008 probably more like they didn't meet anyone they feel connect enough to want to start a relationship with. That's my case, I wouldn't tell myself beautiful but I'm not ugly either and I'm not even slightly obese. I just never find anyone I want start a relationship with until last year and I'm 32. I was happy being single and celibate all those time but I finally meet someone that make me want to love and be loved for the first time in my life. Not everyone see sex the same way, I also see it as a form of bonding so I refuse to do it with someone I don't love, it makes me feel sex is cheap and not special at all if i do it with anyone else
@@isegard2957 I'm a guy and I feel the same way about sex. My mates make fun of me but I'm just not interested in sex with a girl i dont care about. it's strange really.
It's important to to realise that the people who are avoiding sex are very different from people that can't have sex. There is no glory or pride in refusing something you can't get.
I've never had sex. I'm a 30 yr old virgin. Chastity for me is a mark of my ability to defend myself. I grew up with predators and the only women who weren't virgins were married or prostitutes. Too many people don't get my boundries or why I value emotional connection over physical attraction because they never had to physically protect their bodies from harm. I work with men who are rape and trauma survivors as well as women and they get it. But the everyday entitled man or woman doesn't. Sex is just a fix or a way to validate themselves. I think not having a connection to community is partly to blame.
bullshit these people are to blame or more like society and teachers and all else that is responsible, it is the lack of religion that brought people to their lust.... so many are corrupted, but i am glad i am not one of them, right now i reached 30 days of semen retention without touching or watching! I am still a virgin tho (not by choice lmfo) Sex is for a person that you truly love as a person anything else will be destructive and is doomed to fail as it doesnt have the protection from god, but people these days are corrupted and so entitled, they dont value things that should be valued, but they will get what they deserve, you cant ignore nature and god I am very interested, men that got raped? Lmfo can you tell me more about that? Like did they get raped as a child? I would understand that, but not anything else, as for women this is a different subject for sure!
I am 30 years old and I had sex with two women when I was 20 years old. One of the women was 25 years old and the other woman was 38 years old. I caught Genital Herpes from the 38 year old woman.
I personally only really follow one rule with sex or relationships in general. Don't do it with someone you wouldn't want a child with. Everything else falls into place accordingly, at least in my experience.
I mean, im ace and simply dont desire sex... But the one person i wud have sex with is my fiance; and i dont want to have a child with faer. Simply bcuz neither of us wants kids rn. Maybe some day (tho thru adoption or fostering instd), but not rn. However... There is a practically 0% chance of pregnancy occurring given both of us are on HRT amd fae has an IUD. And were pregnancy to occur then we wud abort bcuz of past miscarriages as well as simply not having a body that isnt chronically ill and thus not having a body that can healthily deal with pregnancy. But by your logic my reason for not having sex with faer shud be the desire to not have a child despite that being an impossibility. Heck, this isnt even getting into the topic of cis gays and cis lesbians who uh... Literally cant have a kid with the person thru the sexual means, but by your logic shudnt have sex unless they wud want to have kids xD
I waited until 26 and went after the right one. I learned through other people's mistakes and held on to my stubborn beliefs and never compromised for anything less than what I expect from myself. Then again I had a little bit of help with my intuition to not only predict my future partner but also who to stay away from.
For over 6 years, I deliberately chose not to engage in sexual intercourse or relationships, and it has truly been the most fulfilling period of my life. During this time, I successfully earned my Doctoral degree, made significant gains in the crypto market, and relocated my work to a city of my preference. I discovered genuine happiness when I intentionally shifted my focus away from sex, intimacy, and emotional connections with the opposite gender. This redirection of my energy allowed me to achieve important milestones in my life. It has also granted me the freedom to dress and style my hair and beard in a way that makes me feel comfortable, without the pressure of impressing others with my appearance. For me, being in any form of a relationship feels vulnerable and limiting, while embracing singledom embodies true freedom, creativity, reflection and accomplishment.
A simple test of the claim that Pleasure outweighs pain in this world Is to compare the feelings of the animal That is devouring another animal To those feelings of the animal That is being devoured. Pleasure is not always as pleasurable as we think; But pain is so much more painful than we think.
Wow…. Lots of very interesting perspectives and comments here I’ve been reading, but this comment in particular hit me hard. Indeed, indeed. Can be applied not only to the act itself, but to the psychology around getting it, both inside and outside of relationships (I was in a very toxic one for four years that ended badly, so…).
Had sex with a girl for less then a month and heard through people she knew that she thought she was pregnant. Confronted her about it(gently) and turned out she wasn't. We reconciled but I later decided she wasn't mature enough if she can't communicate.. so one night I very carefully and casually mentioned that we should probably not have sex anymore or at least for a while, making clear I wasn't friendzoning her .. but she promptly lost her mind, threw a massive tantrum and got herself sent to the psych ward over it. In one night, in less then an hour she went from talking of marriage and how perfect I was to insisting she didn't want a kid by me and wouldn't let me see it if she was pregnant. All because she didn't get her way. Yes sex is a massive risk, and I won't be having any for many many years to come.
Sounds like a crazy chick, and I would get as far away from her as possible. Went through the same thing myself in a relationship that only lasted 2 and a half months and it was way to freaky and quick for me mate.
Not sure why that is a reason to swear off sex for 'many, many years to come.' Sex is irrelevant to your situation ... sex or no sex, she obviously had problems that would have become apparent in other ways.
Literally every man I meet brings up the topic of sex. I'm sick and tired of it. Especially far too soon in the connection. I've been celibate before then broke it. But I'm practicing it again. I want to be in a healthy relationship reciprocated with real feelings. I really want to stick with this because I've been traumatised.
Well, most men are more sex driven than women, especially when young. If you're attractive, which you appear to be that's why. Sex is what most men really want from women so there is an incompatibility of objectives there. Sorry but few men want a relationship if sex is not on the table. Sorry but it's true, I'm a man.
@Agma Ya, I totally get that. As I mentioned, far too soon in the connection is a turn-off. Like, I've had men I've JUST met literally start that up without even having a date first. Without establishing a connection yet.
@@yourfutureisnow6480 Those guys are acting on opportunistic impulse usually young guys, but I have watched all ages do it, as I am a frequent bar go'er and see it all the time on the weekend when the alcohol flows. Upmarket places you don't see too much of this sort of thing, better places to network and talk to real people on a less superficial and sexually pressured level. 30's and 40's is a totally different ball game to you're 20's, you just don't want to be out there livin' it up in these sh1t places with selfish and socially awkward y2k kids.... I get it.
I’m 15 and people go crazy when they find out I’ve never had sx or had a boyfriend. It kind of makes me sick, I know it’s not normal to have it so young and it makes me grossed out many people around me think it’s crazy to have not
Same situation here. I'm also 15 turning 16 next month and a few of my friends have had sex or they have at least done something sexual in the past but I haven't tho. One of my friends keeps asking me basically every day if I still haven't had sex yet, and sometimes he offers me a girl to hook up with (which I don't want cuz I want a girl I actually love). I mean, yea I want sex and a girlfriend but I'm not at that age yet. He pisses me off when he does that shit
@@vonnimcc-_-- no Fr my friend keeps offering to hook me up with one of her friends and I’m like ew no. And same I do think it would be cool to have a relationship but I know myself and I know I’m not ready at all for a relationship and even less sx or anything sexual. We need to keep our self respect even if we’re in a world who thinks it doesn’t matter🫡. We only really know ourselves
@@vonnimcc-_-- That’s crazy. Tell him to stop bugging and pressuring you about it and if he doesn’t, you have to take a brake from him. This sounds more like psychological bullying than a friendship. Your friend needs to take a chill pill.
After making love with the man I knew I was supposed to be with, and things not working out, I don't have the desire to have sex with anyone else anymore. Who knows if that will change if I meet someone new, but after spending that intimacy of love-making with him, I know I can never have anything casual with anyone and be satisfied. I hope the next time I have sex will be with the one person that I love and who loves me back. Casual sex is just cheap, empty and sad. I no longer even self-pleasure. Instead focus on work, self-growth, inward emotional healing and such.
I never had that kind of sex. Mine is mostly casual and no intimate kind. Wild? yes. And that's it. Mine quantity over quality. Hmm. And I never been happy. Never.
That’s powerful. I hope you find your man and if not, spread love to others through the love you grow within yourself. Stay strong and keep moving forward.
As someone of the opposite sex who feels the same it's refreshing to read this, thank you. I hope you end up in a relationship beyond your wildest dreams ❤️
This is good. The thing is, many babies are unplanned. The child may suffer from this their whole life. Most parents have had some serious trauma and are not mentally heathy enough to be parents. It just keeps getting passed down.
You can easily have sex without experiencing the feeling of intimacy. My most intimate moments have rarely been experienced while having sex, but instead in meatings and conversations with people where a connection was felt so deeply the encounter became unforgettable
Teachers of mine would tell you that refraining from it is one thing, but that is only resistance. To gain freedom resistance has to be maintained, but wisdom has to be developed on top of that to gain freedom.
31 yrs of celibacy myself... And i wudnt kno what itch feeling youre talking about as i simply dont have sexual desire towards others and i dont find others sexually attractive. I never have. Not every person constantly feels that itch for sex
Title should be changed to 'reasons not to have casual sex'. The reasons he is stating not to have sex seem to only apply to hookups, and not sex within the confines of a healthy loving marriage or long-term relationship.
In my understanding he talks about the benefits of sexual abstinence in general. Of course he pointed out, that there is nothing wrong in choosing a sex life. But here I see no difference in hookups or sex in merriage for this topic.
@@crzydreamr Most people will never achieve the genius intelligence of Tesla. I agree that celibacy is a great way to find inner power and silence, but being deprived of intimacy is undeniably damaging. We need balance.
One of my friends always says, it's better to control emotions and do it in the right time, the urges is innate, and the sexual energy is one of the power energy, if we can divert this energy to something else , it really makes great sense. Semen retention is no joke, I myself experiencing. It makes me do work outs with passion, no laziness in life, effective socialization, I feel like I am a beast. Sex is awesome only when you think it is. Whoever reading this all I have to say is *Where Focus goes the energy flows*.
Semen retention is real. I can socialize with women better without thinking about them on sexual ways, and the best part is the clearer mind without the brain fog.
Then take care of your 'retention' into the toilet like a big boy. You don't need help to poop, you don't need help to defecate your semen either. Please don't harass women to help you poop or deal with your jizzzzum
Retention is no joke - I try this once in a few years (when feeling motivated) but after a few days, the retention fails when sleeping. Does it mean you've to start over again from the next morning?
This is an interesting and debatable subject but my story is that im an older woman and before i met this guy who I thought i was in love with, i was celibate for 20 yrs. It just happened after a breakup with another guy. I found being celibate was easy for me. I had a fulfilling life, didn't crave intimacy and found it somehow freeing. Ive chosen to go back to being celibate. I find it not to be a priority nor crave it. I think one learns alot about themselves by being celibate but i must say that the best reason now for me is my relationship with my higher power. Im not religious per se but highly spiritual. I would rather be in a loving marriage first if i were to break my celibacy. By the way, the most recent relationship i left was because he adamantly told me he did not love me. He just wanted sex. My integrity and self worth was challenged. This will not happen again!!! I choose celibacy. Thank you for sharing this!
Honestly I had an unintended dry spell of 4 years of celibacy and it was amazing. And I’m hot so I know it wasn’t that... when you realize you don’t need anyone it’s so empowering
oh the things that i heard from women when in bed with them - enough to make me just stop oh it was the massage place that made all the diff the last time thank goodness for all that have had a good life
I am so glad that this channel explored this topic as in the last year for religious and personal reason I decided to be chaste. It is something my friends don't understand and it is very unusual for my country. This video is pretty good at highlighting the personal benefits of abstinence and chastity which I have been unable to articulate.
I’m a 29yr old virgin female and I’ve looked into so many things that have unknowingly been resonating with me since I’ve been incidentally practising them : Brahmacharya is one and then, there’s the concept of purity and chastity as put forward by Rabia al Basri. I have to say that I am indeed so centered around ascending spiritually and I am naturally inclined to it. Chastity/celibacy/abstinence is the best thing ever : it really does bring you closer to the Divine. I’ve always taken the saying : ‘treat your body as a temple’ very seriously.
This is the best comment that I have read 2 mins into this video. Not because of the religious aspects, but because of the mental intimacy that one shall not have after significant body count.
Why is it a common misconception if a man is not fond of women is considered to be a homosexual? Some men are just introverts and we prefer our own comfort.
Been a virgin my whole life. Never cared for casual sex or hook ups too messy. To me sex is a beautiful intimate moment with someone where both parties can be cherished; casual sex doesn’t allow for long lasting healthy relationships. As long as the couple is in a healthy relationship where there’s companionship, intimacy, and sex make for a well rounded relationship.
Im only 14 but already people at my age put WAY too much pressure on doing things such as finding a girlfriend, hooking up, and a lot more. I dont see the point yet. Everyone thats doing all that is still a kid and I feel like theyre wasting theyre time as a kid just to feel some kind of satisfaction.
I find quite funny that I'm in a point of my life that engaging in celibacy is waaaay easier than looking for sex, and I can't picture how hard it could be for most people, allegedlly.
As a sex fiend lol im adopting celibacy and I think it's tough because my whole life had been centered around banging chick's, so much so that I failed to realize how much it impacted my life in a negative way, now that I'm 30 I'm trying to live in a different way
If you just finished watching this video and if you want to learn more about the subject, I strongly encourage you to read the comments. This particular comment section is absolutely wonderful, one of the best I have ever seen. So many interesting ways of thinking, very clear individuals. I have spent 2 hours just reading the comments and I do not regret it. Cannot remember the last time I have done something like this. Well, sorry for the publicity but again, you should really take a look. Mindblowing
For whoever is reading this, It is VERY important to understand that this video is talking about hookups. NOT normal intercourse with a consensual and loving partner.
sex takes away energy, it’s not good to have sex constantly, loving partner or not. the only reason why we have sex is to reproduce, to produce is to use energy/resources
Sex is a natural desire and it's ok to engage in it from time to time. But like everything else, moderation is key, as well as the quality. As a happily married man, I can honestly say that lovemaking is a healthy & wonderful part of my relationship with my wife. We don't sacrifice any freedom, mental health or creativity when we make love. Because we both are intuitive enough to understand that sex is just a passing moment of temporary joy & we don't obsess over it. So it's all about having a clear & healthy perspective that matters, not so much the act itself. Also while celibacy might do wonders for some, it doesn't work for the masses. Just as the birds & the bees do their thing, it's unnatural & unrealistic to expect the majority of humans to abstain from sex or even marriage. I appreciate & admire the Buddhist & other views on sex but I don't find engaging in sex or self pleasure as detrimental to anyone, unless they abuse it or doing it for the wrong reasons. Lovemaking between a committed couple has the potential to have great benefits for a marriage & most marriage counselers acknowledge the value of healthy sex life. So in the end, to each their own. Personally I have gone through periods of abstinance, periods of "hooking up" with random women & also being in a long-term relationship (in my case marriage) that includes love making. So far the latter has made me the happiest. Everyone is different, and that goes for our sexual characteristics as well. So in conclusion, I don't believe that either sex or abstinance are pathways to finding inner peace or happiness. They are both just experiences & choices that can be beneficial, if again, they are not abused or misused in unhealthy ways.
Agreed with everything you said except for the marriage part. I don’t think marriage is important nor is it essential. Nor is sex for that matter but if one was more important it would be sex. Or a relationship but not marriage.
I wonder why you had the need not only to watch but also comment on this video. I do not mean that you are not allowed to do that but your explanation of your wonderful sex life with your wife does not sound really honest. It's just a feeling I got when I read your post.
Celibacy has always come easy for me. Maybe it was because I had a strict Catholic upbringing, but I always enjoyed my own company more than I enjoyed the idea of sharing it romantically/sexually with someone else. Even during the hormonal and sexual mayhem of high school and college I never understood *why* people thought they needed to have sex all the time. It seemed pointless, distracting, and a great way to contract STDs. That's not to say I never had problems with my sexuality. I certainly have, including times where I would just long for a partner or long for sex, but the feelings never last for very long once I remind myself that it's just hormones. And the video's right. The less I scratch, the less I feel the itch. I just don't care anymore.
If everyone thinks like a monk, the world will cease to be populated by humans. Which effectively goes against nature. Which means Buddhism is a piece of junk.
Lmaoo grew up with Islamic teachings. They always taught us about how sex before marriage is bad, now as an adult instead of needing another partner lasting after marriage I just became disinterested in one instead 🤷♀️ and many other reasons ofc
If you have sex with someone that you don't intend to marry, you may just be setting the bar high for the next person that would fall in love with the person u slept with. so even if the person u slept with finds a better person, if they fail to get the experience they got before (in sex), they may (sometimes) not be satisfied with their relationship. so don't get laid any chance u get, learn to say no.
As a middle class family's son from India, I was automatically focussed on my studies since birth. I was like Michael Phelps, knowing what to do at what time of the day to get the end result (mostly, would follow a set method to expand my knowledge). I studied for hours and achieved lot of accolades and now I'm a 25 year old man, with pandemic and lockdown fuelling my nature of not being with people who resonate on low energy or talk about random stuff which doesn't excite me. I have no girlfriend and people from my college are already engaged, getting married and having fun (party, drinking, etc.). I love myself and my solitude. I'm building my personality each day, and have stopped wanting a relationship. Letting things take their own course.
I was never physically intimate with anyone until I was 21. I always thought I was strange or behind my peers, so I agreed to meet up with a guy for a casual hang-out, but it turned into him liking me and after I said I would be okay with us kissing after a few more hang-outs, he just went for it (Kissing me after I was on the fence about it and even said no). And because I felt so undesirable due to my lack of experience, I just went with it. He said he wanted to keep making out but we're not friends and we're not dating. I agreed at the time. After I got home, I felt cheap and guilty. I ghosted the fuck out of him lmfao and I wish I would have waited for a good person who cared about me to have my first kiss. I never understood when people said "Waiting is better" but now I'm one of those people.
I feel you. I had a similar case, even though there are some differences in my story and yours. 90% of my friends started their sex lives way before than me and I felt I was the one who was doing something wrong. I lost my virginity at 20 with an older woman who saw me as a young kid to have fun with. She was also my first kiss. All the time I have waited had the purpose of finding someone special and a person who loved me. However, I was just a funny toy for her. Wish I had understood that sooner. Well, it was a traumatic but necessary lesson.
After 5 kids, 5 marriages, and more romances than I care to admit, I've found chastity to be the greatest muse of my writing career. Next year will be a decade of abstaining. I've never felt more powerful and in control of MY life. TY Einzelganger for an interesting topic. :~)
Equally important to remember: When you are called "Simp," "Incel," "Beta," or "Loser," the fact that the person rendering the insult is presumably "Getting some" does not make them an expert on morality, wisdom, or stability - it just means that the market likes them, and so do TV shows and modern music. Often people insult you to validate their own dysfunction, because the way of voluntary celibacy could throw doubt on the amount of time and effort they have sunk into being sexually successful and conforming to the TV People of Plato's Modern Cave.
Hey, super well said. "people insult you to validate their own dysfunction". I'm already handling such people better, but yeah, this is a really helpful point of view.
If people are using those names as a means to insult a person practicing semen retention then they're using them completely backwards haha. A "simp" is a person who is totally mesmerized by women and will lavish praise unto them in the hopes of getting their attention. A "incel" is a person who is not getting sex, but still desperately wants it, and they will blame this lack of sex on the entire female gender, rather than looking at their own issues. As for the last two, you're totally right, only a deeply insecure individual would call you those names for practicing semen retention.
@@Satanic-Dan If you think only that small 10% of the population that is "hot" is getting action, sorry but your comment sounds delusional. Most couples you see walking around, most peoples parents, most people in general.. are not "hot". Do you think your parents or your friends parents would be considered by society as "hot"? Most couples are average people lmao.. hell most people are average, hence the name "average", yet a large majority of the population is s*xually active. If only hot people were active, then STD rates wouldn't be high, abortion rates wouldnt be so high, and just off basic common sense, idk how the human race would progress if only 10% of us were reproducing lmao
@@shermansadventure1151 I think the term "incel" has been heavily twisted by the so called incel movement. Don't take my word for it but as far as i know it was actually a woman who coined the term just meaning involuntary celibat, no more, no less and in that sense i could kinda call myself one although i'm not really desperate about it. Then some idiots took it and turned it into that "boo-hoo stupid evil women won't sleep with me so now i'm gonna hate them so they REALLY won't sleep with me"- ideology.
this is exactly where I am at, and I will choose to be responsible and wait until I am stable... i told myself at least wait until 25... thats 2 more years
@@jasontaylor404 you are right and i was one of them. Made a conscious choice no dating for next 2 years till i hit 25. I am simply not ready if i am brutally honest
I’ve chosen to be on my own out of fear. After one 5 year relationship and another one for 11 and being cheated on in both I just rather be alone. It gets lonely here and there but that passes. Covid made it a little more difficult since I hadn’t socialized much. I’m 37. I won’t turn down love or even sex if it feels right… but I will not pursue it.
At the age of 23, two ex-girlfriends of mine had already cheated on me. However, your relationships lasted longer than mine, so I trust you have suffered way more than me. Actually, being fair, I cannot imagine how hard it is to get cheated after 11 years. I had shorter relationships in the past and it still felt awful to be cheated on, I got into a deep trauma even though they were not very lasting. I send you my full respect and admiration for your decision. Better to be alone than to live a lie. Be happy, man. I wish you the best
😊 I like your mindset..even after what happened to you in past relationship you are not resentful and negative..means your still giving yourself a chance to be happy again..true whenever something feels right to you just go for it as long as it makes you happy..hope you find the one for you.❤️
I’m a 57 year old beautiful woman who has decided not to engage in sexual activity. Love making is an art, cast not your pearls amongst swines etc. besides I don’t trust anyone with my heart, gotta protect your chest.🚫❤🛏️
Proud of ya mam !! I'm 21 I srsly hate being in sexual relationship with someone! But people around me see it in a wierd way like I have some disorder or something or without having sexual relationship I'll be vanished or smtg bad will happen to me !! To be honest I wanna live alone w myself I don't want someone to be in my life and control even 0.1% percentage of my life/emotions....but ig this will not be possible coz here in india it seems like a taboo ! But I'm what I'm
@@akekiddjdbsjejd please allow me to shared a lil more light on this subject, words of wisdom if you will. I know the power of sex, for example, the music in the 70s spoke of nothing but love, free love Bill Withers, “Ain’t No Sunshine When She’s Gone” ,” Keep On Using Me” and Stephen Stills, “Love One You’re With” and The Beatles “ Love Is All You Need” etc. There’s a difference between love and lust. Love is madness. It’s an all consuming monster that will have you sitting out someone’s house at 3:00 in the AM when you should be at home asleep 💤 and that ain’t even like you Dawg, you better than that? Be cool stay in control, to fall in love is to lose your soul. My words might sound cold or maybe I’m just getting too old, but don’t say you ain’t never been told.⚖️
To put it in a very concise manner, I think the obsession for sex is a manifestation of widespread consumerism on the very human interrelations. Sex (especially casual sex) is viewed and sold in our culture as a product aimed to provide instant transitory satisfactions and illusory social status. Yet conversely, and perhaps ironically, the "value" of actual intimacy itself seems to be significantly depreciated.
Being celibate isn't easy but it's worth it especially when preparing for marriage. It saves you from feeling embarrassed, emotional sadness and disease.
I’m actually impressed with some of the comments - it shows people are taking the time to think about their mental and emotional health as something worth guarding - sex is a precious God given gift to be guarded and protected for the right person and heart
As someone who has been virgin my whole life, sex feels like an unknown path not to step in. And it's weird to be the inexperienced one in this society and it's people, where having sex has become pretty normalized. I personally think that there's no need to rush things. That's why I would say that waiting until u find it comfortable to get intimate with someone is the best possible decision for anyone that's not ready yet. Also, the whole idea of sex has become some enjoyable act, when sex was originally very intimate union between two people where they become one flesh sharing one's feeling and traumas. It was only meant for two people who are willing to be there for each other, so anything else like sharing it and making it gross is just ridiculous. Of course people are different, but spreading it all over the internet has already done its bad influence to collective and more younger people get harmed by certain type of sexual content. The society won't teach us the importance of love and respect during sex. It will only make sure most of us knows how important is the protection during sex to avoid any mistakes. Not going to forget about letting every single man know how to waste their time watching sexual content while satisfying themselves instead of actually doing something important and meaningful in this lifetime.
You're totally right. I'm a man and agree with what you've said about men watching sexual content. I myself had watched such stuff just for knowledge and sometimes because of the urge. But now l know that its made to be addictive and restrain from such things.
it can be traumatizing to be intimate with someone who apparently doesn't really care about you
@@lesxo4306 People enact a plan that suits THEM in order to achieve THEIR desired goal at that moment in time. It's only by displaying the same assertiveness as them, and enacting a plan that may take you towards YOUR desired goal, that there's a chance of waking them up and making them aware of what they're missing. Which is done by suggesting that the possibility of something more than just a quick "wham, bam, thank you ma'am" may be worth considering.
agreed
So don't get intimate
Sex is simply lust just don't let your emotions get the better of you its easy
@@addajjalsonofallah6217 to me sex is intimate by nature.
@@jacob_massengale sex is lust by nature it's a purely physical thing it's not love love it a spiritual I keep the two seperate in my mind
Makes my life Alot more stress free
Plus makes it harder for people to manipulate me through sex and people will indeed try to manipulate you by used sex
Infact people will try take advantage by literally any means they can come up with
Finally, a subject I'm an expert in.
🤣
🤣🤣🤣 same
🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭
Not by choice tho lol
@@Xscape128 facts
When I tell people that I don't drink, they automatically assume I was an alcoholic. I guess it's the same way when you tell people that you are not interested in any relationship, they assume there's something wrong with you. People just cannot accept that we are all different.
Me too, people they say that may be i have a problem.😄
Correct
the SHEEP FEAR DIFFERENT....
Ahahahah you must be american . Only in america if you say you don't drink they assume you must have been an alchoolic .
@@giovannamoro8564
You are close, I am Canadian. In terms of drinking and relationships, all western culture is the same.
I don’t want to have sex till I find someone who I have feelings for. I’m in my mid 30’s and still a virgin for that reason. People think they’s something wrong with me, but I don’t like the idea of using someone. I value people and myself, and I don’t want to hurt or use anyone.
I'm 23 and still a virgin - also because I live in Poland, I have to be careful with sex.
@@hugo-scyllawhy careful? And why do you to be specially careful in Poland?
same
Your doing it the right way don’t let anyone pressure you..
I made the mistake of giving my virginity to someone I thought was "the one." In retrospect she so obviously wasn't the one, and I was definitely pressured into sex by her. She's the only mistake I will ever make when it comes to sex. I've lived the last 8 years in self-hate, only now accepting the situation for what it really was and moving on from it. Sex with someone who lusts you, not loves you, isn't worth it, trust me. That's why marriage and sex are married in most monotheistic religions.
I went monk (no sex, just worked on me inner self) for over 7 years. This allowed me not to try to go after women for just carnal means. Not allowing myself to think about women in a sexual way allowed we to think about the mate I actually wanted to end up with. I eventually did find that mate and have a very happy life with her. Sexual desire clouds the mind and our society today is obsessed with the desire for sex.
Good for you. Ironically, the people who end up having the most fulfilling relationships are the ones who don't need it them per se. It's like a bonus, but you don't need them to survive mentally.
Good advice 🤔👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
Not necessarily
@@lialialia9647 Same❤
Sex is disgusting behavior we need rid our body's of.
"You should control your desires, otherwise people will control you through your desires" - Farrakhan
In modern sense:
"Don't be a simp!"
woah that was deep
Control your desires or your desires will control you.
That's the thing, you all can't control your desires. That's why it should be avoided.
@@ayalove6285 well we can control our desire.
It is almost abusive to have sex with someone you don't love, knowing they are falling for you. It feels like a lifetime of emotional concussions.
lol. so dont have sex unless your sure. no one is forcing emotional abuse.
It's already sexual abuse since there is no love about that
It's pointless when you feel it's not gonna last 'cause he doesn' t really loves you
@@callidawkins85 What if you are forced into marriage or trafficking by your family without your consent? It's not easy to speak against it especially when you have no one else listening to your side,stop being f***King judgemental
I'm sorry did someone do bad thing to you ? Your comment is worrying so please tell me if you're fine or not
My hormones keep trying to push me towards it, but my rational mind wins every time
Transforme your sexual energy to spiritual one
That is where the power is: hormones. If you win them, you can win anything.
fap
For me it’s other way around, always feeling wins😢
Me every time I ovulate. But I'm a few months away from my two year anniversary of being abstinent and I have no intention of breaking it
“Having the fewest wants, I am closer to the gods.”-Socrates
Diogenes
more like closer to a plant
Which does not exist.
and Jesus was a homeless guy ?
😂😂
As a loner, inveterate romantic who takes seriously the quality of my relationships and is waiting for the one, I 100% agree with the video. It's exhausting how shallow are people nowadays.
This
True
Almost all guys I met always talk about girls/sex, very exhausting indeed.
It's amazing how many losers there are. I mean total losers!
@@sunji5390 yeah I can understand 🥺
That's the most guys nowadays
Been celibate now for almost 9 years. I get flare ups of wanting a relationship, but I know I'm not capable of sharing myself fully with another person, so it would become unhealthy very quickly. In that span of time I've broken down, built back up, changed drastically, grown, regressed, grown again. It's been an amazing experience that I know I would not have had, if I'd pursued a relationship with someone else. What I have now is a relationship with me, and it's more satisfying than I ever expected it to be.
I think that’s beautiful, society should not look down upon being single. I’ve tried both, and so far I prefer being single quite a lot. I’ll wait and see what happens, either way I’m good and not dependent on being in a relationship like the majority
Same here. 10 years.
How about a relationship that's celibate wouldn't that be more ideal?
@@joyempire462 If your partner wants to be celibate that'd be more than ideal, but the irony is people do not enter the relationships to be celibate, they want romance and a thick fuck.
I've been celibate for 7ish years now. I enjoy redirecting my energy into my hobbies(: I could never have enough sex. It was like getting hungry for food, even after you eat, you'll get hungry again in several hours. It was so exhausting chasing women to satisfy my sex drive. Definitely got easier the longer I went without sex. I'm content.
I am a male in my 30´s, still a virgin, never tasted a beer, never smoked. I am self employed, 2 Masters degrees, own my own house without a mortgage, I always have food to eat, exercise at 4AM everyday. I do desire companionship but I prefer to wait long than to marry wrong
Try Eastern philosophies. Maybe a monastic life and the search for enlightenment is what you need. Marriage might take away all you have worked for. Most divorces started as soulmates.
Stop waiting and go get a wife
Stop waiting. What will be will be. If the very first woman you love will destroy all you have worked for, so be it. There is no guarantee. Chances are that if women actually desired you, they would have approached you and you would never have resisted successfully - and that is the case with most guys. This means they will marry you for your success, and you never know their agenda.
👍🏻
You should change your strategy. What does the house bring you? I sold mine and am now free of boundaries.
Instead of always doing the same thing, you could leave your path. What you describe as successful is not a factor that makes it worthwhile. It's crazy how much time you invest and don't question whether it's really effective.
I’ve never understood why people think giving in to the most animalistic and carnal desire, somehow made them better than others who didn’t. Wasn’t self control important for human beings?
Hahahahaha I ask my friends the same question every time they start telling me about how I am depriving myself of great pleasures if life.
@@jacobjacob4139 dude i heard that stupid shit so much years ago... now 3 of them have kids and are salty about it lmfao. Im chillin 😎👍
@@reitairue2073 hahaha I loan them cash and charge them interest without remorse, most of them have bitten more than they can chew, and I laugh inwardly everyday.
@@jacobjacob4139 thats life man, nature is brutal
Wtf r u talking about
I just spent one of the greatest nights with a girl and we didn't even touch at all. We had dinner, we drank vodka, smoked and talked all night and still watched the sunrise. We cried while I drove her home and it was honestly one of the best 12 hours I've ever spent and I would never change for however long sex could last
Did you eat spaghetti because spaghetti is delicious
Also good luck with your trip
@thelovelylife7451 It's gotten worse over time. She recently confessed her feelings for me and I had already done that long ago but she's not emotionally available right now. Still zero physical contact and it is pretty overwhelming
@@KaliBeatsYoSoyAquel hope it works out for you somehow.
@@KaliBeatsYoSoyAquel i hope everything goes well for you
@@rabbit_aizakku Me too, though I already accepted whatever destiny throws at me because at this point I'm just tired. Because, even if something did happen between us, there's no guarantee things are going to go smoothly or even work out, though I do appreciate everyone's good vibes. I hope and I wish it does work out but everything can always be bad, so might as well learn to be grateful with existence. At least I'm not 100% insecure, my best friend is my roommate, I have a stable job and fun hobbies, what more can a person ask for? A relationship wouldn't fill the void, and if it did...
When I began not pursuing all this, my power, creativity, and inner strength exponentially improved. I also stopped attracting unconscious beings and stopped GIVING valuable energy to things not serving me.
Self-respect. Passion for life. Inner world, first.
Absolutely. Internal world > External world
@@True38 💜
How old r u
@@nomorepowderpuff
How did you do it?
Life itself is mysterious as sex is
As a virgin I believe in love before sex. If I ended up being alone and die a virgin then that’s ok. I think it’s cool and not everyone can accomplish that when they’ve died.
☠️ get escort and it change your life 100% promised sex is the best thing ever
finally someone who think looks like me you’re so right
@@prettywhenyoucry9911same but I definitely want😢😂
I had this thought that I will be a virgin till I die but now it kind of changed
@@madridpool4420 when u fall in love with a boy but he just want to use u and deceive u, u start to stay away and idc if there is no love im willing to be alone until i die
I'm 23 and I've never had any kind of intimacy with a person of the opposite sex, not even holding hands, and I've been depressed because of it for many years. Thanks for the video, it made me feel a little better
😟😟😟😟
same here bro
Go to Amsterdam
Pay a hooker, sex is overrated
@@amadiohastruck4331 I'm not talking about sex. Actually, I rephrase, I'm not talking only about sex. I'm talking about emotional affection
No Sex = No STD , unplanned pregnancies , promiscuity , extra marital affairs
You must be a woman
Just use the protector lmfao 😂😂
no head = no headaches strokes or negative emotions, just because something has negative effects doesnt mean its bad, we must weigh both the negative and positive effects of each. everyone has their own reasons to have or not have sex ranging from enjoying intimate time with partner creating a stronger bond, just plain fun or procreation, your case seems more like the fable of the fox who said "the grapes were sour anyway"
Exactly 😊
@@Atom9855_asdf people can live without sex; haven't heard of people that can live without their heads, though. It's true that we have to weigh pros and cons, which is why your comparison makes no sense. The difference between the pros and cons of cutting your head off is much larger than the difference between the pros and cons of engaging in sex.
I've been a virgin all my life due to trauma. After trying so many times and becoming more and more frustrated as well as disappointed, I decided to stay single and keep being a virgin in my late 30s.
I'm sort of in similar shoes minus the trauma and age difference (19) but I've been a virgin for other performance issues and decided to stay that way to keep me sane
@@youngflashy7181 what are your issues bro. I had some growing up with left me with PTSD
@alluring bliss same story friend same age :,)
I started to clean even deeper what is making me stay in a poor mentality & not good enough or not feeling of value/worth.
It was a very hard truth to swallow, but my own family has bern spilling poison in my ears that made me feel even smaller, i realized them being in my way, ive known for 20-30 years, but since they were my family & i depended on their help because the traumas caused physical illnesses in my stomach.
Aporox 3 weeks ago i decided to cut ties with everyone who diminishes me, yes i could not care about what they say.
But seeing how my entire life & view of myself has been coloured by them & other naysayers, i felt this is my life and i'll go on alone now, or at least put rocus on getting my life together.
I also understand putting boundaries is the key & say & do whatever you feel & mean without caring what others will feel or think about you. Let them have their opinions.
Being real & authentic=freedom
You sift the timewasters from those who vibe with you, by being oneself
You're a winner in my eyes
For me I'm still a virgin at 29 because of sexual awkwardness and just don't know how to go about it so I'm just content with myself and going at my own pace of being a man in progress
I am 67, I had a string of long term relationships since I was in my mid 20s. After my last breakup (very amicable) 6 years ago, I decided not to date anymore. I love my life now, Serenity, no fights, no arguments ,no need to be accountable for every moment of my existence, no need to spend time doing boring things for the sake of the relationship...I could go on LOL I regret not having come to this conclusion sooner. Life is good
You shouldn't be having s3x after 45. The grey hair becomes complete turn-off, especially down below.
It’s easy to be a monk after you’ve met these desires and aged out of the obsessive phase. It’s liberating to be past those limitations, social illusions, controls and manipulations.
@Black Magick Sorcerer what do you mean by "loss of testosterone" ?
You don't need to be a monk to achieve liberation just sayin from a Hindu pov
It's a nightmare to try abstinence in adolescence. I really want to survive this phase.
@@Tuber-sama not bad if you dont want a kid too soon lmfao
@@reitairue2073 The sexual revolution changed that, people now can live in hedonism without any short-term consequence. The only thing that opposes to all of this is morality.
I have to agree. My mental health started going down hill when I tried to have a casual relationship. After about a month I called things off and I'm doing way better now
I did the same thing recently
I think this is happening to me right now went 2 yrs w/o sex then a few weeks ago I had sex with Someone I met at nightclub I mean it happened so fast 💨
As a young lad I had a few casual relationships most of the time it ended badly I was feeling depressed and worthless after a while.
Yes
@@whatafablad312 having sex and having serious relationships are two very different things
You can still have sex but for causal fun and without expecting serious relationship both sides
You may have a serious relationship later on,but at that time you can't give sex more priority or base the relationship on it
I should say it's like eating junk food, there is nothing wrong with eating occasionally but if you eat it daily,then you might have problems
The best sex I ever had was when I was in love. Lustful one night stands or fwb never satisfied me the way it did when I was in a relationship. Messing around alot is not fun but damaging. It's better to find that special one to share that energy with .
Good for you ✨
True.
Truth as you become an adult i agree but teenage yrs nah i like the variety the universe makes so mny different shapes, sizes, colors and styles we didn’t come to experience one
what does "in love" mean?
@@Spvrdx nah, that's just being immature
i'm 22 and i just don't understand why people so obsessed with it, like damn this world have much more interesting things than poking each other with genitals and wasting your time on other people
It’s fun, it’s sensual, it feels so natural and good to connect with people like that. It’s not just poking each other. Have you ever gotten oral? It’s pure bliss!
I spent 40 years trying to satisfy an itch that could not be scratched, no matter how hard I tried. I think about the time, energy, money, and pieces of my soul I threw away and wasted. Before you say it wasn't a waste, or not as bad as I imagine, you had to be in my shoes to know all the details. If I'd had the ability to channel it, or have the focus to be celibate, I feel that my life would look quite different now. At any rate, this video sure made me see things in a different light. I always wondered why anyone would choose to be celibate and I see it now as the freedom it can give, not an unthinkable sacrifice, assuming you do it for the right reasons and with a healthy frame of mind.
underrated comment.
Thanks for sharing and I think a lot of people agree if they’re being honest.
Thanks for sharing. I'm wondering how your life would be different now if your choose to be celibate ? What are the probable changes?
@@nowanobady Could have a lot of implications, one of them being divorce, and divorce itself has a lot of implications that could drive one mental & suicidal. Meaning not pursuing "celibacy" could be the best thing he can do now, based on the cards on the table.
But it's too hard it's the strongest desire we have and life without it is just too boring
I had my first sex a few months ago with a close friend (also a virgin at the time), and we planned it to make everything memorable. We rented a place far away from the city in a winter forest. Initially, both of us were excited about the sexual adventures we were gonna have, but then sex became just one of the pleasant memories we from the trip. It wasn't better than everything else we did on the trip -- the walks in the forest, stargazing, philosophical talks till dawn, cooking, -- it was just part of it. Honestly, waiting for what a lot of people would consider a long time was one of the best decisions for me. A lot of people used to ask me why I was a virgin, that I'm missing out or just to get over with it, and that's the main problem in my opinion. I don't think that sex should be something sacred, but it's not something you just get into simply because everyone does.
According to your story the whole experience seems divinely sacred to you...
@@africakalahari4477 not like a guilty remorseful story of loosing it at the back of a Camry which is 70% of us
Cooking what?
@@africakalahari4477 I wouldn't say it's sacred, it's just precious to me. I think back to it fondly, like remembering a childhood memory. My friend and I still joke a lot about the silly things we did back then, and it just adds sort of a homey feeling to the whole experience.
@@NCRSoldier2137 all sorts of things.
I'm a 22 year old virgin and I'm honestly fine with it. Sure, the stigma sucks, but romantic relationships have never really been a priority for me, let alone sex. I'm not asexual since I do hope to find a special someone one day, but I just don't have the desire to have sex with anyone I don't view as a potential partner (demisexual, if you prefer that term).
if you have hope then it is not fine. its bothering you but you've found a way to suppress.
@barrytelesford5265 Being a virgin does not bother me. As I've stated, I'm demisexual, which means it's near impossible for me to feel sexual attraction without forming a deep connection with someone first.
As for the "hope", I've struggled with interpersonal relationships my whole life. I hope to find some good friends and a life long companion, not get laid. If I wanted to do that, Tinder and Grindr make it trivial to do so.
Not having sex is totally fine, but loneliness is not.
That's not asexual or anything, you are patient, nothing else
@LegendaryITA please educate yourself on demisexuality lol. I'm not waiting patiently for sex, I literally do not want it. The only acception would be with someone I knew for a decent amount of time on a very deep level. It's about intimacy for me, not the act or the result.
@@aarong1092 patient for an ideal partner
The last time I had sex with someone, I had no feelings for them, and I didn’t even find them attractive. I gave into my lust and I felt disgusted and broken afterwards.
This video is life changing. It makes you realise you’re not just a slave to your evolutionary inclinations - you actually have options…
meh
This! This is exactly what i thought watching the video!!
In a way,there is nothing wrong with having sexual attraction if you are not being controlled by it and doing it with the other person for self desires for both sides
Not having sex or having it doesn't make you a better person. It all depends on how much value you give into it and why you chose it.
Exactly, it's rather subjective.
It depends on one's views, opinions and choices and how one wishes to live.
Having sex or abstaining from it, doesn't make you better than others in any way.
Exactly! Said and done. End of conversation
Whatever makes you sleep at night
Exactly. However it should always be special and valued. Not passed around like a newborn
@@wrathbeatbox8177no, having sexuality outside marriage is very haram in İslam.., Thus, waiting till marriage is the key to happiness and ultimate sexual satisfaction.
This video seems to be more of a critique of casual sex and/or a dependency on sex.
Personally, the way I see it, sex, just like any other desire can be used and abused and an unhealthy relationship with it can affect your mental health negatively.
Sexual repression is of course not good either. It really is all about balance.
For what I've seen it's a powerful thing. One doesn't need much for it take effect. However, it's one of those things that people do too much of. Too easily.
It's also one of things that have been weaponized. Throughout history and even now and inevitably into the future; it's been weaponized. Used by people to get things. Anything. From status, money, attention etc. I think that's it's worsed nature.
no, only reason for sex is reproduction. Not having it any other time than that isn't sexual repression.
It's not about repression but letting it go. If it happens, good. If it doesn't, still good.
The Buddha was married. Look sex is good, but it has to be something that should be done with complete respect and commitment of the senses
How is it "not good"?
As a 27 year old virgin, I see this as an absolute win
that's how i quit smoking cigarettes... i was like if I can make it through the peak of my youth without sex I sure as hell can make it without cigarettes
And sweets, candy, soda, all that crap.
That's awesome. 😆 Bravo.
Lol this comment is the funniest so far. Respect anyway💪
Nobody likes a quitter
Good job 👍
Just as everything in life, moderation is the key. 3 times a day is enough.
lol wut?
😂😂😂
Wat??? That's rookie numbers
You're right tho. Everyone has their own definition of "moderation" XD
Are you talking bout porking or dessert?
I had numerous hook ups, and while I thought to be cool because I could literally have sex with anyone,I felt deeply alone and it hurts a lot because people would only view me sexually and use me that way. I often had sex prematurely with potential partners which ruined our relationship and my trust for intimacy since they would often initiate the act without consent. Sex with time became empty and more hurting. I felt alone even during the act. The desire for sex is rooted in our desire to be loved and I'm currently waiting for that person who would embrace me like that, and no longer use me sexually
Seems like you had your fun and now looking for a nerd to settle with. And yes i am sadistic. Dont have to point it out.
@@itsmesuper4403 you've said it as it should be. No regret 😂
@@adesamivictor3269 You not the one complaining though. Actions have consequences.simple
Hey, thank you for putting it in this perspective, it does happen, and nobody can judge you. You could have been in a different mind state when you were having casual sex and that’s okay. Now that you are in a different mind state, I hope you find someone who holds you, loved you and blows your back out in the way you desire to be loved. It’s not for anyone to judge you, you are human after all and like Eizen said, this desire is rooted in our nature as humans so we should extend that grace to ourselves and not put ourselves under unnecessary pressure… I wish you all the love you deserve dear ❤
Good luck
Awful dating experiences have made me swear off both love and sex. Thank you so much for keeping it real.
sex is just a stupid pleasure act, finally I've found some good advice.
I've NEVER been so proud of my v card. I'm a 28 year old asexual man. People used to say I was less than or their eyes would pop out of their head when I said it doesn't interest me. To get out of people trying to set me up with girls all the time telling me I shouldn't be alone my whole life, I'm ashamed to say I would say I was gay just to be left the heck alone. I hide nothing now. No setups please. I'm a very proud hermit. I'm good for population control LOL
HELL YEAH BROTHER! FIGHT THOSE JERKS WHO DENY YOU!
this isn’t satire, i’m completely serious. I’m so sorry people tried to set you up with girls despite your wishes, i couldn’t even imagine that. stand strong, brother. stand strong and proud.
Good on you, just be yourself and respect yourself, regardless of what people say or think. People don't understand that some people are different.
I find being asexual fascinating, I guess because I'm highly sexual myself, not being attracted to anyone, or these days 'anything' lol, and not having any sexual desires. If I may ask, why do you think that is the case with you personally? There are those who believe that is the denial of one's own natural sexuality, while others think it's a disorder caused by shame of sexuality, anxiety or sexual abuse.
Works for me too, 53years and counting.... gets easier too!
@@DEE-qu5mc that guy didn't reply, but I will, when you say Shane, I think shame in myself, self esteem so low that I feel like I am actually doing women a favour by considering myself a non-sexual person, this, my horrible, ugly, weird self can never be a threat to them as "some guy who thinks they can get with her"... I can't imagine myself having sex, I can't imagine anyone would want to with me and I can't imagine myself having sex with someone in the normal voluntary sense. I see myself as someone nobody would want to, therefore I am doing the right thing by others in thinking of myself so negatively in that regard. People can't tell me I'm undesirable if I show them that I already know I'm undesirable and wouldn't bother them in the first place thinking I have a chance.
@@TheStealthyOne6 I hope those jerks get falsely accused of sexual assault one day because when they want to have sex with random people there is a chance that someone will falsely accuse them of sexual assault
If I had seen a video like this 20 years ago, how many problems and disappointments would I have avoided, how much maturity would I have achieved. How much precious energy of mine I wasted during most of these years. Being in love or sexually attracted to someone is pleasurable, no doubt, but I feel much happier when I go a long time without falling in love or being sexually interested in someone. I feel freer and more myself.
Now I have been for over 2 years without any intimate contact with anyone. When I spend a long period like this without anyone, I sometimes feel guilty, because society (the family included, obviously) incessantly demands that we are with someone (even my mother went over her own homophobia and asked me to even be with a man, since I'm not interested in women), but thanks to a video like this I'm reflecting better on it and not I see more why I feel guilty about not meeting the expectations of others when I should focus on meeting my own expectations of myself.
Thanks to you for reading this.
I agree, I have also noticed that I'm much happier being single and spending more energy to the right direction than being with someone feels often like loosing myself.
What the hell your own mother made a suggestion for you to "Try being with a man" and your not even homosexual? Lol that's very weird.
OK even if u had saved all your energy time and money in pursuing sekc what would u do? Nothing. Work eat sleep workout then u die
@@Cub__ I am what's called a 'homosexual' man (I don't like to use sexual orientation labels, but I am a man who is exclusively attracted to other men).
@@mabd7340 We will all die, what matters is how you live your life until then.
I think that some people who look at sex as an itch to scratch (based on my experience with an ex who described it as exactly that), are people who barely enjoy sex at all or use it as a means of self-service, rather than lovemaking.
There's nothing wrong with choosing to be celibate. I think people should figure out what's right for them, so long as they aren't hurting anyone. I think someone like Tesla would agree with the concept of experimentation being necessary to understand anything. That applies to the self as well.
If it's only an " itch to scratch" they should simply masturbate and not get involved in a relationship.
Yeah, i agree, and it is part of the problem, of course you will have an problematic relation with sex if you see it only as an urge, an desire that needs to be fulfilled, and not as an opportunity to connect with another human being.
I could never imagine having sex with someone just for the "fun" of it, doing it with strangers or people you barely know, it feels like you lose part of yourself if you can give your body away so easily, which is why I will only ever be intimate with someone I truly love, and the feelings are mutual.
I wholeheartedly agree. I only have sex with people I can imagine having a kid with. Because, even though there a multiple forms of birth control, 1) they are never 100 % safe and 2) creating a new life together is, in essence, the point of sex.
This opinion has brought me to the incredible body count of 1 at age 25. Do I feel bad about my low body count? Not at all. In fact, I think it's pretty gross to think about your sexual partners as just "bodies" and I can't shake the feeling I'd feel cheap and hurt if I had sex with a stranger or someone I had no true connection with.
@@Millixxxxxxfinally someone like me 💗
@@idontcarewherejustfarr Yeah!
I can't really control whatever ppl had in life but I have to agree the amount of ppl chill with casual sex is creepy... condoms don't always work, birth control pills usually came with side effects, abortion isn't a free option for many ppl, but when it is ppl also forget to tell it can also drain you mentally and physically
Couldn’t agree more! Me too. I can’t with the hookup culture as well
I'm asexual, which means I have no sexual interest in anyone, but having watched friends go through hookups and dangerous situations and the inevitable drama that follows, I'm glad not to have any desire for it. I've heard many people say that is it 'hard' to go without, and causes sexual frustration etc which I acknowledge as valid, and although us asexuals have to deal with discrimination, invalidation and being told we're 'broken', the majority of the time it seems to have made my life easier.
What you say about romance, though - I do experience romantic attraction, and it is indeed very distracting to have a crush or fall in love with someone, and as long as I'm around people that aren't my family that will always be the case, but I agree with what Tesla says about romantic passion being a form of fuel for one's creativity - provided one doesn't allow it to take over your life.
Great video ❣
I honestly relate to this and its really frustrating because I have friends who dont believe me because i had crushes/romantic interests in the past. I wish that people would understand that we are not broken, especially in a sex driven generation like this
I sincerely hope that you find from life all that is comforting. Maybe comforting isn't the right word, but for lack, anyway I hope you
know what I mean.
@@pierre-yveschauvet5136 you dont "become" ace
if society had better sexual ed, those things would not happen so often
@@Es_gee yeah i get that I’m just shy and need to be more open and maybe I’ll like it
I've been married for 15 years, and have known my partner for 19. We've had sex maybe a handful of times, but it just wasn't a big thing for us. Physical intimacy can be met in far more ways than just sex. I'm fine, my partner is fine. We're both okay with not being sexual.
She just needs a Man who can actually satisfy her, not a simp lol Giggity
She's definitely having sex with someone else behind your back.
@@BlackestEyes709 obvious troll lmao
@@BlackestEyes709 out of these two men, one has a real life partner
@A R LMAO I’ll give you that, yeah I’m single lol
The pleasure of all pleasures is eating, not having sex
wow, good for you!
yes i suspectthis too, every single life form eats, and gets a reward clearly.
Probably you have never had sex with an attractive partner if you compare this two things
said a fat guy
Don't forget cardio.
I’m glad there’s at least video that is against sex… I’m tired of our society trying to convince everybody to have sex because it’s “cool” but I find nothing cool about it… as a woman, so many men have tried to manipulate and hound me into having sex with them but i don’t want sex or any intimate relationship… the other thing is most people that “want sex” are looking for lust not love nowadays…
Wonderful to see someone who also thinks it's not worth it.
I’m also really happy to see such a wholesome comment section.
I’m shocked as an asexual, people tell us we’re missing out and whatnot so this is new
@@Aethelhadas people don't understand there are many ways to enjoy life, not only sex🤷♀️ everyone is different
I've been celibate ALL my life. Videos like this and listening to other people's experiences satisfy me to a great degree.
I am not saying you are wrong in being celibate but seeking 'validation' from people with similar opinions isn't good. Ofc, birds of a feather flock together but doing that is like stroking one's ego.
I wouldn't view it like this...
@@Enderkiller77 why? it is a style of life
@@wrathbeatbox8177 yeah I totally agree with you
@@agustin5650 What? I'm not responding to Wrath. I just don't believe you should find validation in others.
This was pretty deep. When you seek physical pleasure, you are allowing your nonintelligent mind to take over your thoughts. It focuses your mind on pleasurable things rather than things that are more substantial to you. I just realized how much brain capacity I was wasting thinking about pleasure. It disables your logical thinking.
It's only when you keep it at top priority
It's nothing bad if you keep it under control
I never had sex with anyone but yeah i had thought about having and masturbated multiple times,while thinking about it the whole day
But now I can keep it under control and do it only only sometimes
(And i mean masturbation,not sex)
I'm 19 years old and I'm a virgin, and a couple months ago I had this urge to have sex, as if my life wasn't started because I haven't had sex, I've now realized it wasn't because I wanted sex, but because I wanted to get that weight off my shoulders. I actually don't think I'm ready to have this kind of intimacy with another person, I haven't done it because I still don't feel ready. It's not that I don't ever want to have sex, it's just that I don't want it to happen yet, and I think that's ok, I don't want to force myself, so I'll do it whenever I feel ready and I have no shame about it.
i’m turning 19 next month, and i feel exactly the same! its good to know that there’s people my age going through the same thing as me.
Because of the social stigma I lost my virginity at 17 while I wasn’t ready nor was I with a partner I loved. It was horrible and it really messed up my view on sex. Now, three years later, I am thinking more about my choices involving sex. It’s really important to only do it when it feels right and with a person you care about.
Same here you’re not alone ❤️
I go through periods of not wanting to share my body with anyone and it feels amazing. Nowadays I hardly have any interest in it and I’m only 30, but I have a very fulfilling life. So many other ways to spend your time.
True!
I'm gonna be 20 this year and never felt the need to have sex to have a fullfilling life. I've awesome friends, I love spending time by myself and chasing my dreams. You can have a happy fullfilling life even without sex. Finding your true self and your true potential in life is the best joy ever in my opinion.
Instagram handle
The sexual transmutation is also a thing in Freud‘s psychoanalysis theory: the libido is nothing else but life energy. We can use our libido for sex but also for „higher“ purposes, something that we love to do. When we are passionate about something, that is where our libido is going.
Right 🙂
Well said, better paraphrazed.
I spend my libido in video games
This is one of my favorite comments
Wish I lived with you. I really need a you
Well, I'm asexual and this is my experience. I can't feel any pleasure or curiosity about sex, when I was younger I thought I was born broken because of my lack of motivation about sex. Then, I just stopped thinking about it and I began to practice Buddhism. Now I feel better about myself and I think this is the best decision of my life!
Good for you!
Cool
Try to practice Islam as Jesus Christ did.
Try to practice Christianity.
Well, you are a geek
Started my celibacy a month and a half ago, it's a blessing tho protecting my energy at all cost
Personally, I feel like denying an entire part of my humanity isn't something I wish to do, however in essence, what I got from this video is to take things in moderation and that it should be the case for every aspect of our lives. Through seeing the anecdotes of people that go to the extreme ends of pleasure, spirituality, studies, etc., I personally conclude that we just need to find a healthy balance, that solitude, spirituality, sexual desires, entertainment and social interactions should all coexist in harmony. Though that's a lot harder said than done.
Sexual control is needed badly not sexual ELIMINATION only from the public sphere...It should be private in all its exhibitions/parlances.
You are a very wize person 🙏
Yeah, that's what I think about this too
I haven't had sex for the last 3 years (except for 1 time), but that's not because I'm against it- I'm just not that bothered about it and happy just living my life. Of course, things could change, and I am open to that. But that's they key. Not getting caught up in dogma. Being willing to change with the seasons of life etc. Nothing wrong with sex, in fact in can be a Beautiful experience- much like reading a good book, or listening to music, or watching a sunset can be. But it's not something you NEED, and certainly not something you need every single day like most people think.
the ‚middle way‘.
Thank you for this video! I've been 13+ years single (I'll be turning 36 in a few weeks) and without sex for the same period of time. Sex is a form of bonding for me hence I couldn't have casual sex (been there, done that, hated it). Haven't met anyone all these years who would want to explore a relationship with me, so I'll remain single and celibate until I perhaps meet that special person one day. For now I have accepted my solitude and do enjoy my single life.
how in the hell did you not find a guy to want a relationship with you ? are you morbid obese or something ?
Same here it will happen
Yes please explain
@@pzg2008 probably more like they didn't meet anyone they feel connect enough to want to start a relationship with. That's my case, I wouldn't tell myself beautiful but I'm not ugly either and I'm not even slightly obese. I just never find anyone I want start a relationship with until last year and I'm 32. I was happy being single and celibate all those time but I finally meet someone that make me want to love and be loved for the first time in my life. Not everyone see sex the same way, I also see it as a form of bonding so I refuse to do it with someone I don't love, it makes me feel sex is cheap and not special at all if i do it with anyone else
@@isegard2957 I'm a guy and I feel the same way about sex. My mates make fun of me but I'm just not interested in sex with a girl i dont care about. it's strange really.
This channel makes me feel so good about not doing anything with my life...
Best comment ever. LOL
real
fr fr! :D
That's...not a good thing.
lol
It's important to to realise that the people who are avoiding sex are very different from people that can't have sex. There is no glory or pride in refusing something you can't get.
+
You won my Respect for this comment
There's nothing wrong with not having sex. It doesn't matter if it is your choice or not.
I've never had sex. I'm a 30 yr old virgin. Chastity for me is a mark of my ability to defend myself. I grew up with predators and the only women who weren't virgins were married or prostitutes.
Too many people don't get my boundries or why I value emotional connection over physical attraction because they never had to physically protect their bodies from harm.
I work with men who are rape and trauma survivors as well as women and they get it. But the everyday entitled man or woman doesn't. Sex is just a fix or a way to validate themselves.
I think not having a connection to community is partly to blame.
bullshit these people are to blame or more like society and teachers and all else that is responsible, it is the lack of religion that brought people to their lust.... so many are corrupted, but i am glad i am not one of them, right now i reached 30 days of semen retention without touching or watching! I am still a virgin tho (not by choice lmfo)
Sex is for a person that you truly love as a person anything else will be destructive and is doomed to fail as it doesnt have the protection from god, but people these days are corrupted and so entitled, they dont value things that should be valued, but they will get what they deserve, you cant ignore nature and god
I am very interested, men that got raped? Lmfo can you tell me more about that? Like did they get raped as a child? I would understand that, but not anything else, as for women this is a different subject for sure!
The average human reproduces more, thus the average human is the entitled, self-absorbed that lies to get meaningless sex.
I am 37 years old virgin male.
Hi ❤❤❤❤
I am 30 years old and I had sex with two women when I was 20 years old. One of the women was 25 years old and the other woman was 38 years old. I caught Genital Herpes from the 38 year old woman.
I personally only really follow one rule with sex or relationships in general. Don't do it with someone you wouldn't want a child with. Everything else falls into place accordingly, at least in my experience.
But wouldn't you have to know that person for quite some time to make that observation?
Pretty solid way to approach it
@@anonimettalontana4944 thats exactly the point
Cringe
I mean, im ace and simply dont desire sex... But the one person i wud have sex with is my fiance; and i dont want to have a child with faer. Simply bcuz neither of us wants kids rn. Maybe some day (tho thru adoption or fostering instd), but not rn.
However... There is a practically 0% chance of pregnancy occurring given both of us are on HRT amd fae has an IUD. And were pregnancy to occur then we wud abort bcuz of past miscarriages as well as simply not having a body that isnt chronically ill and thus not having a body that can healthily deal with pregnancy.
But by your logic my reason for not having sex with faer shud be the desire to not have a child despite that being an impossibility.
Heck, this isnt even getting into the topic of cis gays and cis lesbians who uh... Literally cant have a kid with the person thru the sexual means, but by your logic shudnt have sex unless they wud want to have kids xD
I waited until 26 and went after the right one.
I learned through other people's mistakes and held on to my stubborn beliefs and never compromised for anything less than what I expect from myself.
Then again I had a little bit of help with my intuition to not only predict my future partner but also who to stay away from.
Are you the future version of me. I'm going to be 24 soon lol
For over 6 years, I deliberately chose not to engage in sexual intercourse or relationships, and it has truly been the most fulfilling period of my life. During this time, I successfully earned my Doctoral degree, made significant gains in the crypto market, and relocated my work to a city of my preference. I discovered genuine happiness when I intentionally shifted my focus away from sex, intimacy, and emotional connections with the opposite gender. This redirection of my energy allowed me to achieve important milestones in my life. It has also granted me the freedom to dress and style my hair and beard in a way that makes me feel comfortable, without the pressure of impressing others with my appearance. For me, being in any form of a relationship feels vulnerable and limiting, while embracing singledom embodies true freedom, creativity, reflection and accomplishment.
A simple test of the claim that
Pleasure outweighs pain in this world
Is to compare the feelings of the animal
That is devouring another animal
To those feelings of the animal
That is being devoured.
Pleasure is not always as pleasurable as we think;
But pain is so much more painful than we think.
Schopenhauerian logic 👍
Wow…. Lots of very interesting perspectives and comments here I’ve been reading, but this comment in particular hit me hard. Indeed, indeed. Can be applied not only to the act itself, but to the psychology around getting it, both inside and outside of relationships (I was in a very toxic one for four years that ended badly, so…).
this comment was very well put together. good job. upvote
Go eat warm raw meat with your bare hands and tell me that it's more pleasurable than a nice flan
It's not his thought. Its Schopenhauer words. He just copied it
Had sex with a girl for less then a month and heard through people she knew that she thought she was pregnant. Confronted her about it(gently) and turned out she wasn't. We reconciled but I later decided she wasn't mature enough if she can't communicate.. so one night I very carefully and casually mentioned that we should probably not have sex anymore or at least for a while, making clear I wasn't friendzoning her .. but she promptly lost her mind, threw a massive tantrum and got herself sent to the psych ward over it. In one night, in less then an hour she went from talking of marriage and how perfect I was to insisting she didn't want a kid by me and wouldn't let me see it if she was pregnant. All because she didn't get her way. Yes sex is a massive risk, and I won't be having any for many many years to come.
Sounds like a crazy chick, and I would get as far away from her as possible. Went through the same thing myself in a relationship that only lasted 2 and a half months and it was way to freaky and quick for me mate.
Uhm, I think she’s just sick?
Micks are stinky.
Not sure why that is a reason to swear off sex for 'many, many years to come.' Sex is irrelevant to your situation ... sex or no sex, she obviously had problems that would have become apparent in other ways.
Sounds like BPD
Literally every man I meet brings up the topic of sex. I'm sick and tired of it. Especially far too soon in the connection. I've been celibate before then broke it. But I'm practicing it again. I want to be in a healthy relationship reciprocated with real feelings. I really want to stick with this because I've been traumatised.
thats men for u
why would u want to stay in healthy relationships with people who are not genetically made for such relationships
Hi ❤❤
Well, most men are more sex driven than women, especially when young. If you're attractive, which you appear to be that's why. Sex is what most men really want from women so there is an incompatibility of objectives there. Sorry but few men want a relationship if sex is not on the table. Sorry but it's true, I'm a man.
@Agma Ya, I totally get that. As I mentioned, far too soon in the connection is a turn-off. Like, I've had men I've JUST met literally start that up without even having a date first. Without establishing a connection yet.
@@yourfutureisnow6480 Those guys are acting on opportunistic impulse usually young guys, but I have watched all ages do it, as I am a frequent bar go'er and see it all the time on the weekend when the alcohol flows. Upmarket places you don't see too much of this sort of thing, better places to network and talk to real people on a less superficial and sexually pressured level. 30's and 40's is a totally different ball game to you're 20's, you just don't want to be out there livin' it up in these sh1t places with selfish and socially awkward y2k kids.... I get it.
I’m 15 and people go crazy when they find out I’ve never had sx or had a boyfriend. It kind of makes me sick, I know it’s not normal to have it so young and it makes me grossed out many people around me think it’s crazy to have not
Same situation here. I'm also 15 turning 16 next month and a few of my friends have had sex or they have at least done something sexual in the past but I haven't tho. One of my friends keeps asking me basically every day if I still haven't had sex yet, and sometimes he offers me a girl to hook up with (which I don't want cuz I want a girl I actually love). I mean, yea I want sex and a girlfriend but I'm not at that age yet. He pisses me off when he does that shit
@@vonnimcc-_-- no Fr my friend keeps offering to hook me up with one of her friends and I’m like ew no. And same I do think it would be cool to have a relationship but I know myself and I know I’m not ready at all for a relationship and even less sx or anything sexual. We need to keep our self respect even if we’re in a world who thinks it doesn’t matter🫡. We only really know ourselves
Fr
Youre with the wrong people… i mean kids …
@@vonnimcc-_--
That’s crazy. Tell him to stop bugging and pressuring you about it and if he doesn’t, you have to take a brake from him.
This sounds more like psychological bullying than a friendship. Your friend needs to take a chill pill.
After making love with the man I knew I was supposed to be with, and things not working out, I don't have the desire to have sex with anyone else anymore. Who knows if that will change if I meet someone new, but after spending that intimacy of love-making with him, I know I can never have anything casual with anyone and be satisfied. I hope the next time I have sex will be with the one person that I love and who loves me back. Casual sex is just cheap, empty and sad. I no longer even self-pleasure. Instead focus on work, self-growth, inward emotional healing and such.
I never had that kind of sex. Mine is mostly casual and no intimate kind. Wild? yes. And that's it. Mine quantity over quality. Hmm. And I never been happy. Never.
That’s powerful. I hope you find your man and if not, spread love to others through the love you grow within yourself. Stay strong and keep moving forward.
Pair bonding isa powerful thing.
As someone of the opposite sex who feels the same it's refreshing to read this, thank you. I hope you end up in a relationship beyond your wildest dreams ❤️
How many were there before him? Nothing (and nobody) is special.
This is good. The thing is, many babies are unplanned. The child may suffer from this their whole life. Most parents have had some serious trauma and are not mentally heathy enough to be parents. It just keeps getting passed down.
Its a cycle that goes round and round Hoardly.
@@THEINFERNOKID hoardly ?
Indeed...so in the B.O.R. it states clearly that parenting classes will be the order of the day!
You can easily have sex without experiencing the feeling of intimacy. My most intimate moments have rarely been experienced while having sex, but instead in meatings and conversations with people where a connection was felt so deeply the encounter became unforgettable
Agree! But most ask for it, and they say they need it. I am a man telling you.
As a 30 year old asexual and virgin, thank you for this ❤
wow i love you
@@abduwalimuse7482why? See I don't like peoples like ye
Brake your virginity
Respect bro. 👊
Great, i am 32 no yet.
Ten years of celibacy and I can confirm that it is a fact, that the itch does not go away. But you'll find other things in life to focus on.
Teachers of mine would tell you that refraining from it is one thing, but that is only resistance. To gain freedom resistance has to be maintained, but wisdom has to be developed on top of that to gain freedom.
31 yrs of celibacy myself... And i wudnt kno what itch feeling youre talking about as i simply dont have sexual desire towards others and i dont find others sexually attractive. I never have.
Not every person constantly feels that itch for sex
So, have you become a genius inventor yet?
I heard you turn into a wizard if you can keep it up to 100 years
@@logicandreason3812 I think your teachers said something that I can agree with and I am glad that you shared their words with your words here.
Title should be changed to 'reasons not to have casual sex'. The reasons he is stating not to have sex seem to only apply to hookups, and not sex within the confines of a healthy loving marriage or long-term relationship.
It's not as catchy a title.
@@NotThatGuyAgain_ I hate the clickbait culture. Although this really isn't that bad of a clickbait.
In my understanding he talks about the benefits of sexual abstinence in general. Of course he pointed out, that there is nothing wrong in choosing a sex life.
But here I see no difference in hookups or sex in merriage for this topic.
He made the point of that with the example of Tesla being celibate for the remainder of his life and choosing not to marry…
@@crzydreamr Most people will never achieve the genius intelligence of Tesla. I agree that celibacy is a great way to find inner power and silence, but being deprived of intimacy is undeniably damaging.
We need balance.
One of my friends always says, it's better to control emotions and do it in the right time, the urges is innate, and the sexual energy is one of the power energy, if we can divert this energy to something else , it really makes great sense. Semen retention is no joke, I myself experiencing. It makes me do work outs with passion, no laziness in life, effective socialization, I feel like I am a beast. Sex is awesome only when you think it is. Whoever reading this all I have to say is *Where Focus goes the energy flows*.
When you lose your self-control everything crumbled
Aha hear we have another philosophical genius in the making. I like this logic.
Semen retention is real. I can socialize with women better without thinking about them on sexual ways, and the best part is the clearer mind without the brain fog.
Then take care of your 'retention' into the toilet like a big boy. You don't need help to poop, you don't need help to defecate your semen either. Please don't harass women to help you poop or deal with your jizzzzum
Retention is no joke - I try this once in a few years (when feeling motivated) but after a few days, the retention fails when sleeping. Does it mean you've to start over again from the next morning?
This is an interesting and debatable subject but my story is that im an older woman and before i met this guy who I thought i was in love with, i was celibate for 20 yrs. It just happened after a breakup with another guy. I found being celibate was easy for me. I had a fulfilling life, didn't crave intimacy and found it somehow freeing. Ive chosen to go back to being celibate. I find it not to be a priority nor crave it. I think one learns alot about themselves by being celibate but i must say that the best reason now for me is my relationship with my higher power. Im not religious per se but highly spiritual. I would rather be in a loving marriage first if i were to break my celibacy. By the way, the most recent relationship i left was because he adamantly told me he did not love me. He just wanted sex. My integrity and self worth was challenged. This will not happen again!!! I choose celibacy. Thank you for sharing this!
Oh boy what a relatable topic, exciting.
bruh lol
@@_mantis tomorrow tomorrow afternoon evening evening works mr
Honestly I had an unintended dry spell of 4 years of celibacy and it was amazing. And I’m hot so I know it wasn’t that... when you realize you don’t need anyone it’s so empowering
HAHAHAHHA
oh the things that i heard from women when in bed with them - enough to make me just stop oh it was the massage place that made all the diff the last time thank goodness for all that have had a good life
@@shawnparker1207 what ?
@Oneironaut who what ?
Ur Libido it dead. If your libido is high ,you will have no chance but crave for sex.
I am so glad that this channel explored this topic as in the last year for religious and personal reason I decided to be chaste. It is something my friends don't understand and it is very unusual for my country. This video is pretty good at highlighting the personal benefits of abstinence and chastity which I have been unable to articulate.
Where are you from?
@@AmitKumar-lm1ej I'm from Ireland. It is kinda unusual to be chaste here cause our culture is becoming more and more modern.
@@Anonymous-cb5uw not modern but destructive
@@Xanax250 true. I forget there are based people on the internet when I don't meet any in real life:)
@Myrmadon I am chaste. I could be wrong but that means that I will abstain from sex until marriage.
I’m a 29yr old virgin female and I’ve looked into so many things that have unknowingly been resonating with me since I’ve been incidentally practising them : Brahmacharya is one and then, there’s the concept of purity and chastity as put forward by Rabia al Basri. I have to say that I am indeed so centered around ascending spiritually and I am naturally inclined to it. Chastity/celibacy/abstinence is the best thing ever : it really does bring you closer to the Divine. I’ve always taken the saying : ‘treat your body as a temple’ very seriously.
This is the best comment that I have read 2 mins into this video.
Not because of the religious aspects, but because of the mental intimacy that one shall not have after significant body count.
@@ashtoncasedy3237 Thank you🙏🏼
I totally agree.
Why is it a common misconception if a man is not fond of women is considered to be a homosexual?
Some men are just introverts and we prefer our own comfort.
I'd say that it's related to the assumption that all men are sex obsessed maniacs
Don't know anything about the reasons but I'm pretty sure I'm a pioneer
Been a virgin my whole life. Never cared for casual sex or hook ups too messy. To me sex is a beautiful intimate moment with someone where both parties can be cherished; casual sex doesn’t allow for long lasting healthy relationships. As long as the couple is in a healthy relationship where there’s companionship, intimacy, and sex make for a well rounded relationship.
thats the point of casual sex... not having a long lasting relationship
Then there’s more to life than casual sex
Im only 14 but already people at my age put WAY too much pressure on doing things such as finding a girlfriend, hooking up, and a lot more. I dont see the point yet. Everyone thats doing all that is still a kid and I feel like theyre wasting theyre time as a kid just to feel some kind of satisfaction.
sex is just a stupid pleasure act. We don't need girls I don't care if it's not Alpha or some crap.
I find quite funny that I'm in a point of my life that engaging in celibacy is waaaay easier than looking for sex, and I can't picture how hard it could be for most people, allegedlly.
If you are a guy it's autopilot to be celibate
As a sex fiend lol im adopting celibacy and I think it's tough because my whole life had been centered around banging chick's, so much so that I failed to realize how much it impacted my life in a negative way, now that I'm 30 I'm trying to live in a different way
@Sean Brogan
As a girl I’d like to confirm I don’t engage in sex everyday 😐
If you just finished watching this video and if you want to learn more about the subject, I strongly encourage you to read the comments. This particular comment section is absolutely wonderful, one of the best I have ever seen. So many interesting ways of thinking, very clear individuals. I have spent 2 hours just reading the comments and I do not regret it. Cannot remember the last time I have done something like this. Well, sorry for the publicity but again, you should really take a look. Mindblowing
Thanks for posting and for being willing to discuss these topics publically. Cheers.
Cheers back 👍
For whoever is reading this, It is VERY important to understand that this video is talking about hookups. NOT normal intercourse with a consensual and loving partner.
Thank you,
Most of these people in this comment section, I feel like, think it's just talking about it in-general
Not true. It is also about celibacy and how sex takes away energy, time and potential genius from creators. And I can 100% subscribe to that.
@@frisianwarrior2295 you might want to look into asexuality
sex takes away energy, it’s not good to have sex constantly, loving partner or not. the only reason why we have sex is to reproduce, to produce is to use energy/resources
Sex is a natural desire and it's ok to engage in it from time to time. But like everything else, moderation is key, as well as the quality. As a happily married man, I can honestly say that lovemaking is a healthy & wonderful part of my relationship with my wife. We don't sacrifice any freedom, mental health or creativity when we make love. Because we both are intuitive enough to understand that sex is just a passing moment of temporary joy & we don't obsess over it. So it's all about having a clear & healthy perspective that matters, not so much the act itself. Also while celibacy might do wonders for some, it doesn't work for the masses. Just as the birds & the bees do their thing, it's unnatural & unrealistic to expect the majority of humans to abstain from sex or even marriage. I appreciate & admire the Buddhist & other views on sex but I don't find engaging in sex or self pleasure as detrimental to anyone, unless they abuse it or doing it for the wrong reasons. Lovemaking between a committed couple has the potential to have great benefits for a marriage & most marriage counselers acknowledge the value of healthy sex life. So in the end, to each their own. Personally I have gone through periods of abstinance, periods of "hooking up" with random women & also being in a long-term relationship (in my case marriage) that includes love making. So far the latter has made me the happiest. Everyone is different, and that goes for our sexual characteristics as well. So in conclusion, I don't believe that either sex or abstinance are pathways to finding inner peace or happiness. They are both just experiences & choices that can be beneficial, if again, they are not abused or misused in unhealthy ways.
Perfect explanation 👌!!
I enjoyed reading your comment, interesting views 👍👍👍
You clearly didn't watch the entire video before writing this dissertation.
Agreed with everything you said except for the marriage part. I don’t think marriage is important nor is it essential. Nor is sex for that matter but if one was more important it would be sex. Or a relationship but not marriage.
I wonder why you had the need not only to watch but also comment on this video. I do not mean that you are not allowed to do that but your explanation of your wonderful sex life with your wife does not sound really honest. It's just a feeling I got when I read your post.
Celibacy has always come easy for me. Maybe it was because I had a strict Catholic upbringing, but I always enjoyed my own company more than I enjoyed the idea of sharing it romantically/sexually with someone else. Even during the hormonal and sexual mayhem of high school and college I never understood *why* people thought they needed to have sex all the time. It seemed pointless, distracting, and a great way to contract STDs. That's not to say I never had problems with my sexuality. I certainly have, including times where I would just long for a partner or long for sex, but the feelings never last for very long once I remind myself that it's just hormones. And the video's right. The less I scratch, the less I feel the itch. I just don't care anymore.
what did you have to tell yourself or say at the moment of wanting sex???
You are very smart and have spared yourself disease, abortion, trauma. Sex is sacred. So are our bodies
If everyone thinks like a monk, the world will cease to be populated by humans. Which effectively goes against nature. Which means Buddhism is a piece of junk.
🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾
Lmaoo grew up with Islamic teachings. They always taught us about how sex before marriage is bad, now as an adult instead of needing another partner lasting after marriage I just became disinterested in one instead 🤷♀️ and many other reasons ofc
Russell Brand overcame sexual addiction, and now he’s functioning on a whole other level.
Not only sexual addiction.
For me he is a hero at some level. ^^
Brand is a nut.
One hell of a grifter
If you have sex with someone that you don't intend to marry, you may just be setting the bar high for the next person that would fall in love with the person u slept with.
so even if the person u slept with finds a better person, if they fail to get the experience they got before (in sex), they may (sometimes) not be satisfied with their relationship.
so don't get laid any chance u get, learn to say no.
As a middle class family's son from India, I was automatically focussed on my studies since birth. I was like Michael Phelps, knowing what to do at what time of the day to get the end result (mostly, would follow a set method to expand my knowledge). I studied for hours and achieved lot of accolades and now I'm a 25 year old man, with pandemic and lockdown fuelling my nature of not being with people who resonate on low energy or talk about random stuff which doesn't excite me. I have no girlfriend and people from my college are already engaged, getting married and having fun (party, drinking, etc.). I love myself and my solitude. I'm building my personality each day, and have stopped wanting a relationship. Letting things take their own course.
Cheer up man!!! you will find someone.
You'll never get a girlfriend like that lil bro
So when you just came out of the womb you were like "I want to get a college degree"
@@alexanderraz.I got one then broke it off. She turned toxic
@@XenoTronusWeePoo850great sense of humour. I was talking about my journey. But that's OK. No point in interacting with strangers on the Internet.
I was never physically intimate with anyone until I was 21. I always thought I was strange or behind my peers, so I agreed to meet up with a guy for a casual hang-out, but it turned into him liking me and after I said I would be okay with us kissing after a few more hang-outs, he just went for it (Kissing me after I was on the fence about it and even said no). And because I felt so undesirable due to my lack of experience, I just went with it. He said he wanted to keep making out but we're not friends and we're not dating. I agreed at the time. After I got home, I felt cheap and guilty. I ghosted the fuck out of him lmfao and I wish I would have waited for a good person who cared about me to have my first kiss. I never understood when people said "Waiting is better" but now I'm one of those people.
I feel you. I had a similar case, even though there are some differences in my story and yours. 90% of my friends started their sex lives way before than me and I felt I was the one who was doing something wrong. I lost my virginity at 20 with an older woman who saw me as a young kid to have fun with. She was also my first kiss. All the time I have waited had the purpose of finding someone special and a person who loved me. However, I was just a funny toy for her. Wish I had understood that sooner. Well, it was a traumatic but necessary lesson.
"BROTHERTAPE" What? Just a kiss?
sex is a thing only because we needed to multiply
soon enough we won't need it anymore
After 5 kids, 5 marriages, and more romances than I care to admit, I've found chastity to be the greatest muse of my writing career. Next year will be a decade of abstaining. I've never felt more powerful and in control of MY life. TY Einzelganger for an interesting topic. :~)
5 kids/5 marriages??? A decade of celibacy??? How old are u🤣🤣🤣
@@HUNGRYFLOWER98 😂
Thought the same, did this guy really have a marriage and a divorce every year or so lol
Your probably one of the people I wouldn’t recommend reading their chastity book. Jeez, 5 marriages and 5 children??? 💀
@aust. Yeah, you have to curb your behavior. You are a maniac. An extremist. Your life.
Don't know about any upsides of it yet, but not relying on any external factors for your own happiness must be a good thing.
Equally important to remember: When you are called "Simp," "Incel," "Beta," or "Loser," the fact that the person rendering the insult is presumably "Getting some" does not make them an expert on morality, wisdom, or stability - it just means that the market likes them, and so do TV shows and modern music. Often people insult you to validate their own dysfunction, because the way of voluntary celibacy could throw doubt on the amount of time and effort they have sunk into being sexually successful and conforming to the TV People of Plato's Modern Cave.
Hey, super well said. "people insult you to validate their own dysfunction". I'm already handling such people better, but yeah, this is a really helpful point of view.
If people are using those names as a means to insult a person practicing semen retention then they're using them completely backwards haha. A "simp" is a person who is totally mesmerized by women and will lavish praise unto them in the hopes of getting their attention. A "incel" is a person who is not getting sex, but still desperately wants it, and they will blame this lack of sex on the entire female gender, rather than looking at their own issues.
As for the last two, you're totally right, only a deeply insecure individual would call you those names for practicing semen retention.
Only hot males and women get sex. We don’t control our looks so it’s better to pay a hooker or just masturbate.
@@Satanic-Dan If you think only that small 10% of the population that is "hot" is getting action, sorry but your comment sounds delusional. Most couples you see walking around, most peoples parents, most people in general.. are not "hot". Do you think your parents or your friends parents would be considered by society as "hot"? Most couples are average people lmao.. hell most people are average, hence the name "average", yet a large majority of the population is s*xually active. If only hot people were active, then STD rates wouldn't be high, abortion rates wouldnt be so high, and just off basic common sense, idk how the human race would progress if only 10% of us were reproducing lmao
@@shermansadventure1151 I think the term "incel" has been heavily twisted by the so called incel movement. Don't take my word for it but as far as i know it was actually a woman who coined the term just meaning involuntary celibat, no more, no less and in that sense i could kinda call myself one although i'm not really desperate about it. Then some idiots took it and turned it into that "boo-hoo stupid evil women won't sleep with me so now i'm gonna hate them so they REALLY won't sleep with me"- ideology.
I have enough to fix within myself without introducing more unstable energy into the mix. Nor do I need someone to complete me
Same here 💯
Thank you for being responsible. Far too many are dating when they shouldn't.
this is exactly where I am at, and I will choose to be responsible and wait until I am stable... i told myself at least wait until 25... thats 2 more years
@@jasontaylor404 you are right and i was one of them. Made a conscious choice no dating for next 2 years till i hit 25. I am simply not ready if i am brutally honest
I’ve chosen to be on my own out of fear. After one 5 year relationship and another one for 11 and being cheated on in both I just rather be alone. It gets lonely here and there but that passes. Covid made it a little more difficult since I hadn’t socialized much. I’m 37. I won’t turn down love or even sex if it feels right… but I will not pursue it.
*giving you virtual, supporting and innocent hug*🫂
At the age of 23, two ex-girlfriends of mine had already cheated on me. However, your relationships lasted longer than mine, so I trust you have suffered way more than me. Actually, being fair, I cannot imagine how hard it is to get cheated after 11 years. I had shorter relationships in the past and it still felt awful to be cheated on, I got into a deep trauma even though they were not very lasting. I send you my full respect and admiration for your decision. Better to be alone than to live a lie. Be happy, man. I wish you the best
😊 I like your mindset..even after what happened to you in past relationship you are not resentful and negative..means your still giving yourself a chance to be happy again..true whenever something feels right to you just go for it as long as it makes you happy..hope you find the one for you.❤️
I’m a 57 year old beautiful woman who has decided not to engage in sexual activity. Love making is an art, cast not your pearls amongst swines etc. besides I don’t trust anyone with my heart, gotta protect your chest.🚫❤🛏️
Proud of ya mam !! I'm 21 I srsly hate being in sexual relationship with someone! But people around me see it in a wierd way like I have some disorder or something or without having sexual relationship I'll be vanished or smtg bad will happen to me !! To be honest I wanna live alone w myself I don't want someone to be in my life and control even 0.1% percentage of my life/emotions....but ig this will not be possible coz here in india it seems like a taboo ! But I'm what I'm
@@akekiddjdbsjejd please allow me to shared a lil more light on this subject, words of wisdom if you will. I know the power of sex, for example, the music in the 70s spoke of nothing but love, free love Bill Withers, “Ain’t No Sunshine When She’s Gone” ,” Keep On Using Me” and Stephen Stills, “Love One You’re With” and The Beatles “ Love Is All You Need” etc. There’s a difference between love and lust. Love is madness. It’s an all consuming monster that will have you sitting out someone’s house at 3:00 in the AM when you should be at home asleep 💤 and that ain’t even like you Dawg, you better than that? Be cool stay in control, to fall in love is to lose your soul. My words might sound cold or maybe I’m just getting too old, but don’t say you ain’t never been told.⚖️
sorry, but 57 years old woman can't be beautiful by definition :(
@@viz12345Maybe not the ones you know 😂 but in general there are and I believe this lady
To put it in a very concise manner, I think the obsession for sex is a manifestation of widespread consumerism on the very human interrelations. Sex (especially casual sex) is viewed and sold in our culture as a product aimed to provide instant transitory satisfactions and illusory social status.
Yet conversely, and perhaps ironically, the "value" of actual intimacy itself seems to be significantly depreciated.
sex sells is all that we've ever been taught...think on it people..
Being celibate isn't easy but it's worth it especially when preparing for marriage. It saves you from feeling embarrassed, emotional sadness and disease.
Hi how are you doing?
I’m actually impressed with some of the comments - it shows people are taking the time to think about their mental and emotional health as something worth guarding - sex is a precious God given gift to be guarded and protected for the right person and heart
Hi. Excuse me.. if sex is God giving.. think about babies being molested and raped!...
As someone who has been virgin my whole life, sex feels like an unknown path not to step in. And it's weird to be the inexperienced one in this society and it's people, where having sex has become pretty normalized. I personally think that there's no need to rush things. That's why I would say that waiting until u find it comfortable to get intimate with someone is the best possible decision for anyone that's not ready yet.
Also, the whole idea of sex has become some enjoyable act, when sex was originally very intimate union between two people where they become one flesh sharing one's feeling and traumas. It was only meant for two people who are willing to be there for each other, so anything else like sharing it and making it gross is just ridiculous. Of course people are different, but spreading it all over the internet has already done its bad influence to collective and more younger people get harmed by certain type of sexual content.
The society won't teach us the importance of love and respect during sex. It will only make sure most of us knows how important is the protection during sex to avoid any mistakes. Not going to forget about letting every single man know how to waste their time watching sexual content while satisfying themselves instead of actually doing something important and meaningful in this lifetime.
You're totally right. I'm a man and agree with what you've said about men watching sexual content. I myself had watched such stuff just for knowledge and sometimes because of the urge. But now l know that its made to be addictive and restrain from such things.