I had two alcoholic parents that beat me bloody daily, for no reason, just because I was alive. It took me into my 30's before I could socialize with peers, and the scars of the abuse are life-long. It shaped my character, and I am nothing like my parents - but I chose a childless life and have very few friends. I am absolutely not lonely, this is my way of life. I chose to be a firefighter, medic and cop, and in this way cared for others. Don't let society dictate your path of life.
While I empathize with your past experiences, the problem with your statement is that you could have choosen to opt out of living at any point in time during your life, but you chose not to. Why? Because no matter what you've gone through, deep down you know that to be alive is better than to not be alive. Not bringing children into this world is your choice, but please don't paint it as some selfless act.
@@oriehi_raphael_paul I would say that most men crave for the dream of having a beautiful family of their own but the risk is immensely against the modern men. I'm glad that some have found someone to raise children's to this world and wish them the best.
This was very touching, I had the same domestic abuse upbringing, tried ending my life when I was 12, my brother saved me. The way this world is i am not interested to bring children into this world, I love my own company now days and wouldnt have it any other way.
I'm 72, never married, have no children, and just a few important friends. I spend lots of time in solitude in my small home. I have no pressing needs or responsibilities, no worrying debt, and plenty of time to think. For me, a life of observance and contemplation is very important. Making a family and doing great things that may improve humanity is a wonderful way to create a lasting legacy, but I much prefer to sit this one out.
I escaped a life of poverty by avoiding heard mentality. I didn't have a single role model to guide me but I had an abundance of bad examples. A blessing in disguise, I imagine.
EXACTLY...i remember when i was 7. To think about poverty and how i would not live that life. I just did the opposite of what everyone in the hell hole i grown up did.
Absolutely - anti-role models can be just as helpful as real role models. Looking at someone and saying, "I don't want to end up like that" can be powerful.
You want to get married, settle down and have kids? That's great! You want to stay single, focus on yourself and your passions/hobbies? That's great too! I don't understand why some people get offended at the idea of the latter, as if we're somehow cheating at life by not doing the former.
I think those who judge are likely unhappy with their own lives and decisions. If someone is truly content with their own decisions they don’t feel the need to judge the lives of others..This applies to both people with and without children
Whatever you want to do is accepted in a hyper modern and individualistic society maybe but in collective or even somewhat traditional societies and historically it was stigmatized when you stayed single and don't start a family and sometimes even now it's considered schizoid behavior
@@questioneverything1224that's true sometimes and other times people judge when you don't go with the norm or you don't do what everyone else in the family did it's not always because they're miserable or think they made the wrong choice
Because you are not holding up the society you rely on. You are not paying your side of the bargain. I have all the stress, cost and effort to create, soldiers, nurses, engineers, surgeons, Doctors, teachers, builders, farmers the list goes on and on. You have not paid your fair share but expect to still reap the benefits. It's not about feelings it's about duty-free
Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect. Marriage isn't for everyone. Marriage is a wonderful institution invented so that two people could solve problems together they would never have had, had they remained single. Being single is an opportunity to live life on your own terms. A single life, not married with no children, has the ability to maneuver in life, with minimal constraints, that is the true power. Men are not worried about dying alone. Men are worried about living miserably. I'd rather live dangerously free than peacefully enslaved.
It seems like you don't think of marriage as a partnership, 2 people who love each other and want to navigate life together, and h ave a family that brings untold joy. You will be very lonely someday.
@@janettemasiello5560 Yeah it's possible that he'll be very lonely one day, maybe he's already lonely, maybe he just said that cause he wants to convince himself that he'll be fine alone, or maybe he's really just happy to be alone.. we can't really tell.. but I hope he'll tell us why it's better to live dangerously free than peacefully enslaved....
I am 48, never married, and childless. I catch myself feeling like I'm weird, have failed at something everybody else does, and not living up to something. But I never wanted, nor even liked, children. And I find it very questionable to rely on another person for fulfilment, completeness, and a sense of security. My parents seperated after 37 years, when I was already 34. So, that did enhance my feeling that in the end, there is no such thing as ultimate trust in someone else. Humans are mood-driven fleshy robots, totally unpredictable. Self-reliance and feeling complete on your own are absolutely essential.
Until you have to be accountable in your life review and come back when you fail to achieve your life purpose. No pressure lol.@@Lone_Star86 Read up on NDEs and your YOLO will shrivel up fast
I'm 53 and never had kids but several of my ex-girlfriends had kids shortly after we broke up (usually one year later). 1) I read that studies show that our DNA finds its way into kids that aren't technically ours, not sure that's true. 2) I helped these girls in their lives so there are more kids on Earth thanks to my being here. While it's not my DNA per se, I still helped the community. Some of us are better off being free and helping 100 people than being tied to helping 1 other person. Also, the financial risk of ruin for a man these days is a huge factor. I don't regret not having an ex wife.
It's okay for men to not have kids (2/3 of men who ever lived did not) because they pay NET taxes. It's not so much okay for women to not have kids (1/3 of women who ever lived did not) because they are on the receiving end. But that would self correct when men could choose which 1/3 of women not to reproduce. But now we have the welfare state paying her rent, social media telling her she's hot and Tinder hooking her up with an occasional Chad with Bad taste. When you subsidize something, you get more of it. We got more fugly women (who now want to see themselves represented on TV).
I did everything society told me to do, my life was miserable. I don't care anymore what society says, I think for myself, what I want, what's good for me, what makes me happy. I'm here to be myself, not someone else.
Why do what society wants you to do in the first place if it's not what you want? I am the one that wants kids, not the society. It IS a natural imperative, without it I wouldn't be here.
What did society tell you? not to have kids? or to be a boss bitch? (assuming you're a woman). Society is just a standard it doesn't mean you MUST go with it ...rather adapt I would say
Along my life, over 60 now, I never fitted in. Never felt belonging to a group or another, never liked what most people of my age liked. I thought there was something wrong about me. I had my own world and was happy being in it. This video shad a light in this life and made me feel normal for the first time. So happy reading others accounts showing that there are more people out there feeling the same way. Thank you so much for showing this vision where we can feel that in the end we belong to a group in its own way!
Same here. 64 and I never fitted in society. Only recently detected that I was a 'system buster' spiritually speaking it was never the goal to fit in, on the contrary!
My father had 10 children. From the 9 remaining, as one of my half-siblings passed away, only 3 of us were willing to take care of him during his last months. The rest of them didn't even want to have him at their homes. Having children and being a good parent is no guarantee that you will be taken care of when you're old.
Most people are spoiled today. You sound spoiled and entitled. It's not good to pamper your children as they will turn out thankless. Another thing is mother's whom used the father and lie on him. Generally men are not appreciated by society.@@Alga_Kazakhstan_Alga
@@Alga_Kazakhstan_Alga please don't speak disrespectfully of somebody you don't know. He was a good man, a good father and always worked hard to provide for all of us. Sadly, some people are just ungrateful.
When I was 9 years old, I told my mama that I would never get married or have children. I remember her saying that I might change my mind, but it was my life to choose what I wanted to do or not. I'm 67 years old, not married, and have no children; I am very happy with my life and don't feel like I have missed a thing.
I think a lot of times people that follow society's norms and conventions are scared by those that don't. If someone has gotten married, bought a house, and has children, they are extremely invested into that lifestyle. Being confronted with someone happily living an alternative lifestyle might evoke feelings of doubt. They might have never considered doing things differently, or according to their own ideas. And that feeling of: "Wait, I could have chosen? I could have decided for myself what I wanted to do with my life?" can be pretty intense. Also, making life choices (like having children) that you can't go back on kind of force you into making yourself believe it was the right choice. And that also works both ways of course.
@@dannymoneywell Have you even seen the video? Einzelgänger stated that having kids is not a guarantee that they will provide for you when you're old. Your kids might simply not bother with you or, as it has unfortunately happened, die before that can happen.
This is why I decide to just do whatever tf I want and if others dont like me, then that's on them. Not me. I have zero expectations for people to like me, and I will not be a slave to others anymore. If they hate me, I am okay with it because I know that their hate comes from a one-sided perspective. No one will ever know the true me. So why should I listen to someone who only knows a small piece of me. I know who I am and no one will ever guilt trip me into thinking otherwise.
@@dannymoneywell do you know the date, time and circumstances of your death? You can't . So how do you know you won't die alone? My grandmother had 4 children 9 grandchildren and a loving husband, she was alone in her home when she died. Even if your children live close to you, their lives are more important to them than your life, especially if they have jobs and kids of their own. I haven't spoken to my brother in 29 years, do you know you won't fall out with your kids because of their choices or your refusal to change? You can't. You can't know your future so you can't predict it. If you outlive your spouse, and your kids aren't physically or emotionally close to you, you're going to depend upon strangers for everything, the very things you claim causes you pity for those who you think will experience those things. You have no control over your life or your death, you can only live it and hope you don't suffer the things you appear to fear. People who stay single don't delude themselves about the possibility of how they will spend their final years, but they aren't prepared to sacrifice their single existence because of it. So with that in mind, I see your position a coping mechanism. You fear the future you highlight, and can't cope with that possibility. If you're married and have children, did you do so for genuine reasons or did you cross your fingers and hope those actions would reduce the likelihood of experiencing the things you've afraid of?
I would say to Jordan P: I would have had a kid if I had found a woman who I loved, and who I believed would be a good parent to my child, while also being myself, psychologically, emotionally, and financially prepared to have a kid. We all need to find our own paths in life, and not force ourselves into marriage and creating a child because "we're supposed to." Having a child in such a way is the very definition of selfishness. The last thing this world needs is more people born into unhealthy and loveless situations.
Same. I'm not against having children. I know I would love my child. But how am I supposed to think about children when I haven't even met the right mother for them? My previous serious relationships have ended badly. If I had had children with those women, it would have been a nightmare. I'd be in debt or just plain broke.
I am 67 years old. I never wanted to be married or have children. The idea of all of it was really unappealing to me. I have no regrets. In fact, I couldn’t figure out why people even wanted to do it. I actually always preferred animals to people, so I’ve always had a bunch of them. Even when I was part of a family growing up I didn’t like it. And personally, I don’t think my parents should have ever had kids because they were terrible at being parents. And I agree with you, when people choose to have kids, the kids don’t have a say in it. If they did, many would say no thanks. Being alive isn’t easy.
there is an existence after this one sir, i am Hindu from India and human birth is mostly suffering, please do read The Bhagavad Gita As It Is by Bhaktivedanta Prabhupada ji, all humans are unique, there are two ways of living life, materialistic or spiritual, this modern existence, you cannot be 100% spiritual/religious,one should have balance, there are realms of existence besides this earth, and how one lives his life determines where we go after this, to be born again as a human on earth, is for me the worst thing possible, Hare Krishna
@@bodhixxx1 same, i used to think it was a cosmic mistake, still do, but have my aged folks at home so gotta keep going at least for their sake, im their only child, and they have been very very good parents
Same here. I have had a strong opinion against having children since I was 5. Now I am 47 and think exactly the same, but I can relate to you regarding your parents. My parents neglected me emotionally and I think that’s the reason why I never wanted children, because I never felt truly loved so I didn’t want to reproduce that pattern. Even if I am still for being childless for many reasons, I also think that it’s not that normal to have a strong opinion on that issue being just a little child.
@@elsaaforges my reasons for staying single are a bit different, in India where im from, most are arranged marriages, based on community, wealth, status, etc i have also been unlucky in my affections for the opposite sex, also i think i have unrealistic standards, marriages today are mostly like a business transaction, sure you might fall in love after the marriage, have kids etc but nah, id rather be alone. i cant live a life of pretention, i cant marry for the sake of getting married. its too hard. nope, wont do it
I never went onto the apps. Met women in person. There isn't a difference. I do feel like a badass solo renegade now. Having fun my way with my time. It's great.
Steve Jobs nailed it when he said, "Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma, which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary. "
Everyone reading this, let me just say: Don’t let online strangers or family or friends determine if you should want kids or not. If you do, PLEASE make sure you are in a good financial, mental, physical, and emotional state to do so (and with a equally agreeable partner). If you don’t, then create some short and long-term goals since you’ll have a pretty large free-time margin down the line. Keep walking in truth and in love ❤
Probably the first actual advice somebody can and should take here in these comments 👏 So many people here bashing each other for wanting/not wanting kids..... just live and let live , its not hard
I refuse to put up with the insanity of the modern w-om-an and the madness of our broken dating and mating systems, not to mention the merciless, anti-male divorce court industry. I also refuse to continue to regard my gen-it-als as mere toys. They are for making another human being, not playing around with. Therefore, I have resolved to become celibate. All unused s-exu-al energy will be converted into creativity.
Those who pressure others to do as they did, getting married, having kids, just want you to validate their own life decisions. That serves to reaffirm that they made the right choice.
JP is a government plant there to lead and control the opposition since there are a lot of sexless single angry men out there talking in groups on the net, sharing information. To those in power, this is scary, as it should be. The fabric of society is unraveling, and men are checking out. Historically, the majority of men never passed on their genes. They died one way or another or were sexually selected against. So he is also wrong about the facts. Government and corporations need manpower tho and there is a severe demographic decline going on that is global in scale. As for me I'm going my own way.
I had that. Decades ago I moved from poverty farm land USA and went to the sunbelt. I prospered. At one point one of my farm land family said 'when will you come back here and suffer like the rest of us?' Never did that....
When I was a younger man, I used to wonder why the married with children spent so much time trying to convince the young and unmarried that it was an imperative to get married and have children. I heard all the reasons and rationalizations, and while I wasn't opposed to marriage, I didn't have it as a personal goal. In fact, I think that marriage is an essential institution for the furtherance of our species and for the development and maintenance of society. Still, I couldn't quite grasp why there was so much pressure by those who choose the family way to convince everyone that that was the only sensible and honorable way. Finally, it dawned on me, as I observed at all the unhappy married couples, the bitter divorces, and consequent state of society. The reason must be that misery loves company.
Marriage is not an essential institution bro. It’s thrust upon us, the state interferes through marriage. Women have been brainwashed that marriage is a spiritual occasion, all these disney characters and happily ever after psyop. State controls men through women.
I'm in my 30s. I'm single, I have no kids and I'm happy. All the money I make is spent on myself and all my free time is spent on doing things that I like doing. Call me immature, call me selfish, say that I'm wrong. In my humble opinion, the ones who are deluding themselves are those who think that the universe gives a crap about whatever they choose to do.
Exactly it shouldn't matter if someone wants to start a family or not. I'm not a parent by any means but one quote that sticks to the back of my head is: "Every child deserves a parent but not every parent deserves a child"
Good on you I went with the heard got married when I didn't want to so I could fit in ended up in a divorce marriage just doesn't feel right to me I felt very trapped. Maybe with the perfectly compatible person it does I have my little girl out of it but I just don't think I was built for it.
That's great. 🎉When men force things they don't just make themselves unhappy, they also make the women or partners unhappy as well. I hope you continue to do what you know makes you happy whether that changes or stays the same.
@@ivanvukasovic1371what could anyone say in response to this, except... Why do you care? And also, what is it you personally think children owe to their parents?
@ivanvukasovic1371 i will be honest to you: if you knew what you wanted, you d be so sure, even your parents couldnt stop you from being you- aka: you wouldnt really give a fuck. 'there is a possibility' is not equal with ' the two of us are fine with that' . The reason why you give 1 fuck, is bcs this opinion talks For you. You want children. Your partner doesnt.
@@FactsCountdown LOL. facts. I was interested in a big family when I was younger. It never worked out and time just went on and I got older and older. Now, I'm in my mid 40s and happy that I never had kids because frankly, the world and most people are so sh1tty, that I wouldn't want to sentence a human being to a lifetime on this planet.
@@ConTheorySpiritist so we should try finding good person which we can make happy each other or just try to be happy alone? may be being alone is not the answer? or being with partner is not the answer?
Recently I caught up with an old boyfriend, we dated in our late 20s, I am 50 now. He was a bit worried for me, since I never got married, nor have kids. I thanked him for his concern and I wasn’t offended in the least. That’s when I knew I was truly comfortable with the choices I’ve made.
Most women regret not having kids. Most men don't care one way or the other. That makes sense given that women have the kids financed by someone else and men have to finance the kids.
I never wanted to have children or to get married. I'm 58 now and still feel this way. Did i miss out on something ? Maybe, but i really cannot see what that would have been. I DO know from a very early age that i am a loner, and those around me keep reminding me of this fact, by always attacking it, proving i understand myself a lot better than they could ever do.
I’m 54, and enjoy it even more as I see my friends having to support grown children, raise their grandchildren, and have no money or freedom! Too much drama for me.
I'm 33 years old, I don't have kids, I don't want to have kids. For most of my life I feel like I've already failed at living for myself, I've been somewhat been overwhelmed over the opinions of others before people even gave me a real deal of expressing myself, people like racist, people of great authority, crazy alcoholics and self centred people. I'm more of a loner anyways because most people I've been in contact with hardly have enough in common with me nor interests with me. I don't want to be overwhelmed again by politics and the ridiculous point of views of others whom share an overload of their passion.
I tried marriage. Got divorced after 8 years. No kids and im 44 with no debt, no drama, and no regrets. I have so much peace now. I tried dating, but I even found that to be a chore.
The minute I think of dating, marriage, kids, spouse, this, that, I'm filled with a nauseating sense of dread that comes. I even have breathing problems, as mild as it is. It just forms an unpleasant knot in my gut
I am a woman who has never wanted to have children. I have a meaningful job helping others at a hospital, I have a few good friends, I do a lot of fun stuff in my free time (I climb mountains, ski, fly a paraglider, read, meditate, do yoga, play a piano, swim in the lake, watch movies... ) and on my way I even met an amazing partner and have love in my life. I am truly happy and satisfied living my life. I love my nephews and my partner's nieces, but whenever I see a mother and a child I just think "I am so happy it is not me" and go back to my wonderful life... ❤
Yea, that's great. But although many men think that's okay for them to be single and childless, they heavily judge women who are CHOOSING to be single and childless.
An impact on my perception of having kids, is when my father told me that his father (my grandfather I never really knew) despised his children. The assumption of parents loving their children is naïve.
it's not, and that makes no sense. Loving children is imperative. If you don't, you're disrespecting your ancestors as well as your predecessors. Your grandfather was a failure and naive, not those who love.
@@ProtoIndoEuropean88 all people are not the same, who knows what that old man went through in his life, maybe he loved another but married the grandmother, and was sad throughout his life, maybe he had a drinking problem, everyone is different, there are childless people who are good with kids and parents who abuse their kids, the world is a strange place
@@शिवा1008 Then the problem is simply toxic people, not having kids nor making a family! The problem lies in how our society is being run by these politicians.
Sometimes the hardest to deal with is the judgement and opinions of those around you. Knowing your family, coworkers and friends consider you as a weirdo or incapable or broken in some way. And to explain all this goes way above the head of the normal culturally integrated human.
What can we do if usually if not every single time this kind of speech and ideas are the product of weird incels who couldn't get laid if their lives depended on it so they say they don't need these things to make them feel better about their own disfunctional emotional and social interactions and the empty shells they call their lives? Not gonna paint the white sheep black just to appease you.
As much as it can hurt, you will always be an anomaly to someone who just can't or doesn't want to acknowledge your way of living as valid, and the way they go about it can range from a minor inconvenience to the most depraved shit ever. It's why speaking your mind and standing up for your own good is so important, or else they'll use every chance they get to steamroll over you
@@filerecovery5319 you are right, and its really not a big problem for me. Its more like, how others perceive me, its a part of my psyche still. Having a nice car, wearing nice clothes, having a nice house, its nice to think people perceive you as successful, that you made it. Having normal relationships with children is also part of that "success" just because society decided it should be, no amount of philosophy from our individuality can change society. Since we cannot change society, we can only change ourselves, we have to accept this and accept that for that part of our lives many people will consider us failures. Even if people love us deeply and respect us, due to their conditioning, at times they will feel pity for us, think we are broken, they cannot help it. This can be hard at times, and my younger self struggled with this a lot. Its just slightly sad to consider this, I don't really mean anything by it either, and its not something that needs fixing, just thinking out loud here i guess. Thanks for your support and reply.
Actually I often had people telling me they envy my lifestyle because I am able to manage and do things alone, something that has been taken from them or because they are too afraid to do things alone.
I never married, I don't have kids. I think generally people that choose this route are not valued by society. However I know why I made the decisions I made and I stand by them. I have my reasons and I don't have to explain them to anybody. You're allowed to be you.
Didn’t have a kid until late, best decision, I shouldn’t have waited so long. Being a parent is the most challenging thing in life...spending money carelessly does however follow the majority in the West.
Dude nobody said you have to have kids. My uncle is 62 and never had kids or get married and he’s happy. But if you want kids and want to get married then you can if you want if that’s what makes you happy. Just do what makes you happy
I'm 58, single, never married, no children. Always had to deal with people judging me. Once I went to a counselor and he gave me a children's book called Ferdinand the bull. It actually really helped. Now I don't care what people think of me. All I know is I'm not lonely and I absolutely love my life and it is very full and enriching.
I knew at a very young age that I wanted a peaceful single life. I grew up with tons of drama and disfunction within my own family which led to lots of blaming and narcissism. Id rather live the quiet life than live a life someone else wanted for me and hate it. I saw that go bad in my family as well. Never do something for someone else. Do it bc you want to do it! I cant tell you how many people have wanted to change me to their own liking and for their own benefits. Its disgusting. I dont want to be part of cult aka society.
A child is a human being. One should not have children if they cannot care for and provide for the children. Also children need time and dedication from the parents that brought them into this world.
Cowardly thinking. There is never a perfect time for a child. Can you say all your life choices are perfect? Should you not make any choices in life if they aren't well thought out and guaranteed to bring a successful outcome ?
My father condemned me all throughout my twenties for not starting a family and carrying on the family name. Interestingly enough, in his youth he had multiple lovers with whom he had seven illegitimate children he was barely there for, one divorce and a second marriage that is slowly festering with each passing day.
@@vernongrant3596 when you have only one parent in your life, their opinion of you matters that much. Believe it or not I connected more with my step mom and when she started to hate him too I realized just how toxic he was.
I follow my nature. No partner, no family, no stress, no obligations, no troubles, no consessions. Freedom, serenity, Joy, goals, creativity, nature. I love it! 😊
I am a 50 year old woman who is happily not married . There isn’t one single married friend of mine, who doesn’t envy my life. I am successful, I am attractive. I have time to learn, read, grow , take care of my health and so many other things. I travel for a living and travel for leisure four times a year. I am truly happy. The common thing I hear from my married friends with kids is when their kids are grown they’re going to join me in my lifestyle. My own married sister is miserable with her kids and drowning in health issues that she’s not able to take care of because she’s working herself to death to take care of her house and kids while her deadbeat husband left her after 23 years of marriage. I respect the institution of marriage, but I knew from a very young age that it was not for me. Great video and thank you.
No need to put down people who chose to have children. Your personal anecdata proves nothing. I have 4 children who are grown, and am really happy in my life. I was never married, raised my kids into successful adults, own my own house and land, work and am healthy and fit. So my lifestyle is also great, and having 4 children did not prevent me from living it. Good luck to everyone who chooses the path that is right for them.
@@kidstuff44555 beautiful-happy for you . You wouldn’t know this, unless you’re a childless woman, but childless women are put down drastically in our society. This was the point of my story, and not to put you or anyone else with children down.
@@Busybeeee You're right. I wouldn't know your experience, only my own. I think women can't win if they care what society thinks. These days being a mother is often portrayed as a worthless or stupid decision too. Men are granted more leeway to be respected in their choices, but women are criticized whatever they do
For me, my freedom to chose what to do every day with my time without having obligations to children or even a partner is priceless. I will never give this up and I don‘t care anymore what others may think of how I live my life. If they use their time to think and debate about how others live their life, they are the ones using their time the wrong way. As long as you are not harming or taking advantage of others, you are free to live your life the way you want.
Most of the people I know who have chosen not to have children are the most thoughtful, intelligent people I know. Peterson doesn't know whry he is talking about.
You are the only person who can decide what's right for you. If you choose not to get married and have children, it's no one else's business. Your life, your choice.
Except western countries are sort of pyramid schemes for social benefits so without kids expect a different quality of life when you are old if too many people dont have kids.
@@filerecovery5319 Because the world is a cold difficult place to thrive in even with a family and without one it's and even harder colder lonelier place where at the end of your natural life you will be alone and depending on strangers for everything, it's not that complex of a concept to grasp.
@@dannymoneywell Having a family with kids does not guarantee that they will be there for you when you are old, or even care about you as is. Children leave their parents all the time, spouses leave their partners all the time. Besides, your kids could potentially not make it that far. On the other side, having no partner or kids doesn't guarantee loneliness. You can have a social circle of people who care about you instead of strangers. You can also find companionship in other things that aren't tied to family. Can always take care of the elderly who aren't related to you, or have a pet.
To understand this you would have to examine who is calling you selfish. A parent who wants grandchildren? Some jerk on the internet? There’s usually a logical explanation for such a comment. And that motivation is going to be in the selfish interest of the person trying to shame you.
yeah it’s really fucking tedious lol choosing to not have a kid due to health and environmental reasons is one of the most selfless things you can do never pay attention to those kind of people, they’re insecure and projecting how they feel about themselves towards you
"A child didn't ask to be here." I spend a lot of time thinking this since young age. I didn't ask to be born and I'm not happy. That's probably the reason I never wanted to bring a life into this world of suffering. Now nearly 60 and I cannot thank enough to be able to support the life I really enjoy, which is not much for many people, and not caring what others think about it. I learned overtime that the most important thing in life is if you are happy without thinking what others think of you. This video says it all. Thank you for another great video!
The problem with that statement is that you could have choosen to opt out of living at any point in time during those [nearly] 60 years, but you chose not to because no matter what terrible experiences you may have had, deep down you know that to be alive is better than to not be alive. Not bringing children into this world is 100% your choice, but please don't paint it as some selfless act.
It's just my own view. I did not paint anyone's view with anything. I learned to appreciate living but I do not have attachment to it whatsoever. If I die tomorrow I wouldn't miss living at all. Here is my point. You would think I should have killed myself, but that is precisely the suffering I am talking about. Taking my own life will surely be an enormous physical suffering, wouldn't' it? I didn't have to think about that if I didn't live. I do appreciate my mother for bringing me to this world, so I call her every year on my birthday to thank her for having me. Although she choose it herself, she suffered greatly when she gave birth to me. For that suffering, I respect her choice and try not to be a total waste for her. I respect people's choice of how they live their lives or how they think, because I have no right to judge anyone's lives. And I hope other's don't judge mine as well.
I'm almost 43 years old and a single man. I've never been totally against marrying but I've always known it was optional, not mandatory. My family members have often been puzzled as to why I decided to opt out of marriage barring something extraordinary happening. However, I don't absolutely need a soulmate or children. What I do need is peace, tranquility and emotional balance in my life. I'll remain single if it means avoiding unnecessary drama.
Fact is, life drags us to many places we can't predict. Sometimes we want children or marriage and we can't find it. Sometimes we have sex with a woman, she gets pregnant and we marry because now we have a responsibility whether we like it or not. So the best thing is to make peace with how our lives are going, either having more money and buying a car or a computer as a single man, or watching your child grow and deriving satisfaction from that. We choose less than we think, it's hard to wrestle our impulses, and it is hard to be either married or single, because the life we don't have seem alluring because we only focus on the good parts of it.
Most people don’t want kids though. They want sex. Once the kids show up then they want to take care of them. That’s how biology makes animals for the most part. In all of human history the vast majority of children were not planned and they are “wanted” after they show up. Now that we can decouple sex and reproduction the game changes.
Yeah, so many people here in the comments saying that they want this or that..... but what they fail to realise is that life has its own will, at one point you are here , in the next hour you are there
I’m perfectly happy being child free and never been married. I had girlfriends and made this clear to them. I enjoy traveling, buying my big boy toys and financially stable. I’ll be 50 yrs old in two months and have no regrets.
For me, life got much better when I learned to mind my own business and not try to mind others business. So, if I am to suggest something, it is - "Do what you think is best for you, and ignore the opinions of others".
Same here. Whenever I made choices based on what I thought was best for me I was winning in life. Whenever I made choices based on opinions of others, my life was turning into a mess.
I’m a 62 year old man. Was married at a young age. Tried to start a family, but no luck. At the time we were greatly disturbed by this, but here I sit nearly 40 years later, divorced and on my own and….strangely enough…..thankful I never had kids. With age and maturity I came to realize that I was much better off childless. My life is less complicated, less expensive, and more free. Loneliness? Nah. Not really a problem for me. I have enough friends and family relations as it is. Also, anytime I need to get out and rub shoulders with people I grab my wallet and my keys and off I go on a leisure activity like travel. I am fully content and this man made a LOT of very good points on this video. Parenthood is not for everyone. To each their own.
I'm close to 41 and happy that I made the decision to not have children. All my life, everyone has told me that I'd make a great dad, and yes, I agree. I did want children up until 6 years ago. I'm just glad it didn't happen when I wanted to be a father. I cherish my peace, tranquility, and free time way too much. As a life long introvert, having all that drama, noise, constant eventfulness, never having worthwhile free time, loss of tons of money, constant worry about the well being of my loved ones, being social by force so my child/children can have healthy mentalities, etc...would be a nightmare. I'm an awesome uncle & great uncle. That's more than enough for me. I just feel bad for my mom. I'm her only child, and she always wanted, and I admit, she deserves to be a grandmother. The only reason my choice bothers me, is because of my mother. She's been so great in my life, even as an adult. My decision robs her of the happiness she deserves 😢
Wow, THANK YOU! 58 years of questions, never married, no children for fear of being what I came from and knowing my existence was forced. You touched on many things! 🙏
I onced walked into a cabin in the woods where everyone carved their names into the walls and all the wooden furniture- thereby totally trashing the place. They did this so a physical manifestation of their presence would remain after they left the cabin. This sums up the primary motivation why most people have children.
People have children because we are biologically built by genes that are selfishly trying to continue to exist. The Selfish Gene by Dawkins. And the fields of evolutionary biology and psychology expound on all this. It’s basic biology. It’s not a conscious choice so much as an instinct for most people. The more curious question is why people who have kids seem to want all the other 8 billion humans to do the same. Why would they care? This also has philosophical answers but beyond the scope of this comment.
Primitive biological desire yes, stupid well that would depend on your reason for the primitive behavior and if your allowing your biology and not your 'logic' to lead you@@normanosborn1277
That's a bad comparison though. You'd have no complain about the people who built that cabin in the woods, thereby leaving a physical manifestation of their presence in a place that didn't have them before. I myself find parallels between the cabin and childless people. A long line of ancestors tried their best to raise children and yet it ended with childless people because "life sucks". That's like the people who doesn't maintain the cabin passed down their family line and left it rotten and marked with graffiti.
I am a 32 year old father to a three year old. Life is much much harder ever since having a kid. It's unecessary hard.. If you want to have children and live like this fine, if not, that's fine too. There are enough humans on this earth... we are not facing an extinction problem
@@celpabedn how many people choose not to take care of their parents ? A lot are in nursing homes. Not to mention how many people have bad relationships with their parents where they wouldn't even consider taking care of them? I think its stupid to assume you get a caregiver when you have kids. Check out vivarium movie (2019) with Jesse Eisenberg. Pretty eye opening.
I'm not targetting your grandma per say but one can't draw conclusion on a single sample. I'd say it's not rare that grand parents may be way nicer with their grand children than they were with their own children (it's a 24/7 relationship, with grandchildren it's only from time to time). The grand parents may also raise their childs like spoiled little brat who won't care in return, so if their kids don't care about them may partly be their fault.
Perfectly timed video for all those “why are you single”, “when are you getting married” and “when are you having kids” conversations that inevitably occur at this time of year!
Reminds me of a joke. "When i was younger and attended weddings of relatives the older ones would come up and say: you are next. When i started doing this at funerals they didnt find it funny anymore" :)
I'm a 40 year old woman. I'm not married and I don't have any children. As long as pain exists, I don't want to have children. There are human traffickers, pedophiles, rapists, users, abusers, and so many other forms of negativity and toxicity. So why would I want to bring a child in a world like this? These people who shame others for not wanting to have children are delusional and irresponsible. They don't say to be financially responsible, be healed in every aspect by seeking therapy and working on yourself, or anything like that. The message is just to have children. Not everyone desires to have children, and we have our reasons. Regardless of whatever reason, it doesn't make that person wrong or less than. As for the marriage thing, I'm definitely not against that. Sometimes people get married, and sometimes they don't, but let's not act like all marriages work out
I was 18 when I got married, she was 17. It was hard, I watched my friends all go to college while I slaved away in welding shops. That was 1990. We got through the tough times (first 5-7years) and made it work. Wasn’t easy. But worth it. My kids turned out great, my son went to Navy, married his girl now I have 4 wonderful grandkids. My daughter is now 30. She has chosen to not have kids or get married. I can see both sides of this. Extremes in both decisions. I love them both no matter what. Oh yeah, thought I would add, Money don’t make good parents guys.
Money might not make you a better parent but drifting in their hand built drifting go-kart that their dad welded up for them will. You can't do that along with many other things without having some money to afford to buy good time with them.
You completely sold out and went for the money jugular ;) Welding payed a lot back then, more than PhDs today. Somewhere I heard you get 3x pay in military if you have a spouse. I'm amazed this is not taught in schools as a career path. With a spouse you get the following perks: 1) Basic Allowance for Housing (BAH), 2) Family Separation Allowance (FSA), 3) Tricare Health Insurance, 4) Basic Allowance for Subsistence (BAS), and Other Benefits: These can include access to military commissaries and exchanges, educational benefits, and recreational opportunities. Wow! I think people remain poor because they are kept in the dark via information asymmetry lol
Great interview on diary of a ceo with Chris Williamson. Most men’s brains have been high jacked by their daily dose of online p@r.n hacking their drive to find a mate protect a family, strive for a purpose, be a steward of change from a sick society. They justify with their higher brain like this enzweiler dude denying that their reptilian brain is being manipulated. They participate in the womanly world of talk more than action as they have been programmed for fear. Fear of rejection, fear of failure, fear of not being important enough, so they smile weed to cope. Men are becoming so feminized by society by their inability to see, it’s not about choice…the choice is gone. Addicts only have the choice to get help on order to stop. Most can’t handle the pain so they will fail and go back into comfort. The men that do, will be looked up to as something special when they just actually unplugged from the matrix of brain hacking done by experts of addiction.
Well ; I disagree to some extent !!! My husband & I would love to have children of our own ; we are financially stable with very good solid careers & good jobs but Unfortunately due to medical conditions beyond our control even with IVF; have been unsuccessful 🥲🥲🥲. I look @ couples with children 👦 & really wish I could be in their shoes . We’re not jealous or envious; We just wish we could have a family of our own as well . So I wouldn’t say All Parents & Non parents feel sorry for each other ; May be just some !!! I know Parenting is very challenging but most loving couples eventually figure it out & raise able bodied & responsible children !!! I still hope we get that Opportunity God willing🙏🏿
He is the most inspiring person I have ever met, I listen to a lot of his stories. Those shares changed me a lot for the better when I heard those profound shares from him
Everybody have problems and miscommunications, its up to each individual to make an effort to maintain healthy relationships. If you do not do or can not do it, then he is right, you are an lazy, selfish, dilutional or immature. Good parents try to leave this world just a little better for their children and do not feel sorry for each other. Family unit is a core of our civilization and current narrative and people like you is what will destroy it. Fun fact, without families we as a species will cease to exist.
We all are self obsessed, self obsessed so much so that we don't even see the stupidity of this video creators statement: I would want to work on my goal instead of marriage and maybe make contribution to humanity. The problem is not this, but if 100% people followed your life path THERE WOULD NO HUMANITY BE LEFT. 😅 It always comes down to is whatever your doing in life can other people do it or not when they watch you, don't let other people fill up with contempt that they hate you also don't let them see you, truly mind your solitude.
@@words007first of all. All of the people never think the same.and also the creator of the video never mentioned like, this is the right thing to do. You're just finding an stupid excuse to justify your ideology.
I agree with this video. My mother suffers from mental illness and my father was an abusive alcoholic. They should have never had children but they had 4 because they were being selfish. I never asked to come into this world. And since they didn't know how to raise children in a loving environment, I suffer from depression, anxiety and OCD. I made the decision years ago not to have children because of this. I also understand that bringing a child into this world is against their will. They might suffer from the same things that I have even if I gave them a loving and supportive environment. I wasn't willing to do that. I am so glad that I decided agaisnt having children. I'm not sad that I won't have anyone to visit me when I am older. I am excited that I will be able to do whatever I want when I am older without disappointing or relying on my children. I have true freedom of not having anyone that relies on me or I rely on.
I could never take life seriously. I've never wanted to follow the lifescript 1.0. The longer I live the more I'm convinced that it's best to just stay away from all the human-made drama altogether. Their insecurities, fragile egos, fear of death and controlling, needy nature are way too exhausting to deal with. I just want peace and quiet, nothing else.
I understand these all...yet can't stop myself from being affected....what to do!! I seriously want to imply what I know... still i find myself stuck to things said to me or judgements passed on ... what's the way out!! I sincerely m asking
@@shraddyswift8206once you realize you are not your thoughts and emotions but just the vessel experiencing them you will become free. Learning to be the observer and not applying judgement to the thoughts that pass like clouds is a fundamental part in separating from the chains of the ego. I highly recommend Eckhart Tolle, Micheal Singer, and Mooji teachings to help better understand this concept. All the love and hope you can find freedom.
@@shraddyswift8206 When you observe your lingering thoughts and feelings you become above them. So acknowledge those worrying thoughts about those judgements and then say what you truly want. Did you know your mind shapes your reality? Billions of people want happiness and now he universe is showing us how, shape your thoughts.
I was born to an abusive mother and a father who I rarely see because he is busy with work My childhood was hell, there was no one to really care about me I was bullied at school, beaten, and burned at home by my mother for no logical reason. In addition, I did not have any real friends. They were all toxic and exploitative. This left me with a lot of scars as I grew older I began to suffer from insomnia and anxiety most of the time, social phobia, in addition to self-loathing and depression. I always wonder: What did I do to deserve all this? I was just a crying, fragile little girl All I want is to feel okay, that I'm good enough, and that I'm worthy of love I really wonder why I didn't think about suicide at that time... I grew up to become an introverted, isolated, and eccentric woman in the eyes of my family and others I became cold, sarcastic, and indifferent to anything that happens to me in this life. Even death doesn't scare me anymore. I think the three best things that have ever happened to me in this cruel world My silly cat, Leon, and my best friend, Lian. I also joined nursing. I did not find nursing suited me at first, but now I believe that I was truly created to be there. I was created to take care of others. I remember that one time brought tears to my eyes when a patient told me while smiling that although I appear to be a cold-hearted woman, I really have the heart of a caring angel. This hit me hard and I was truly touched by his words I am now single and have decided to remain so. I find marriage and having children to be optional and not compulsory as society and those close to us impose on us. My mother pressured me to marry a lot because many people proposed to me for marriage, but I refused. She told me that I would be alone and that no one would care about me, and that I would die and rot alone. I don't know why I laughed at the time, I found it really ridiculous But I was always alone, mom. What has changed now? I'm so used to being like that anyway that even the presence of other people doesn't make me feel comfortable I would rather be like this than have a child exposed to neglect, violence, and bullying, as happened to me A child is in pain and never stops asking what he did wrong, mom I decided to remain single, I am really happy I have my cat and my books and I play the piano and watch the stars and my blue flowers I play chess with my best friend every Friday I have nursing, philosophy and psychology and I didn't really feel like it This happy before Also, as I said, the matter differs from one person to another. The decision in the end is up to you, whether you want to get married and have children or remain single. Just do not let anyone determine that except you, because no one understands you except you.
You had a bad childhood,but you lived through it and that horrible experience formed you as you are now, plus you didn't let other people's perception dictate your life,good things will come now, the worst has passed,good luck:)
Yeah...don't give me that "biological imperative" nonsense. The world is ON FIRE right now. No place for new life until WE are ready to put the fire out and I see ZERO evidence.
I was born to be a mother. My kids are my world. This has made me realise that too many people are having children who really don't have the maternal instincts and would rather be doing something else. Having children is only for those who truly want kids. There are too many unloved kids/people who have mental illness due to knowing they were not really loved and wanted. Just watch Soft White Underbelly to see what I mean.
I wasn't loved as a child. Beaten and mentally abused. Still struggling sometimes and I am 61. Don't get me wrong. I think kids are wonderful and probably they are sometimes not so wonderful. I always thought I might be horrible to my kids too and rather have none. I am glad I don't have kids. But I am very glad that children like me. I am very kind to kids.
Loving Mothers always seem to have the absolute purest reasoning and acceptance. I’m patiently waiting for humanity to allow loving mothers lead us to heal…again-thank you
As a sufferer of mental illness, I am in the camp of those who believe that having children is too much for us to handle. In my twenties, I was naïve and just assumed that I would one day find my soulmate and have children. But after countless rejections and going through a brief but terrible marriage, I experienced a mental breakdown and have never fully recovered. MDD and chronic anxiety prevents me from being "normal" - whatever that means. I don't have the luxury of ignorance. My existential crisis is profound. I'm not asking for sympathy, I'm trying to take it day by day and not let it my depression take my life. Hopefully some day science will find a cure for depression.
Have you tried sustained, regular exercise and wildly reducing processed foods? I deal with depression but these two things help me a ton; maybe they'll help you, too.
MDD is tough. Like a shadow that never leaves you, completely. I hope you have adequate coping skills. Exercise is a good one. Find a purpose to continue each day, no matter how difficult. Don't ever lose your purpose.
As a therapist who has extensive experience working in child protection and with victims of domestic violence, I applaud those who know themselves well enough to make a conscious choice and the courage and intelligence not to cave in to social pressure.
Courage and intelligence... not to help renewing their country's population. Quite negative, despite said people judging themselves not to be parent-material.
it's not about that. it's an issue of demographic. the least productive and stable people are breeding the most. the most intelligent and rational people are not. the current ecology is also not conducive to growth and reproduction. the empire must downsize and a lot of people have to displace or disappear by other means for there to be a renewed period of rising birthrate. in other words, there are no good environments left for intelligent people to begin families. the left saw to that.
@Briselance so you would like children to have parents who aren’t fully invested in them because they only did it to “keep the population up” and for the children to have multiple issues because of it?
@@Briselance This planet already has what, about 9 billion people now? Are you saying there aren't enough people already? India is half the size of the U.S. and yet felt the need to inflate its population to a full billion more than that of the U.S.! What have the rewards been? - no improvement in the country's standard of living - a million people per year dying of air pollution - 5-6 figures of people per year dying of snakebite - mass emigration to other countries Other wonderful Third World economic write-offs include Bangladesh (half the population of the U.S., but twice the size of Iowa), Philippines, Nigeria, Indonesia, etc.
It's mostly jealousy. Marriage and having kids is like a mandatory job to some people, and when someone comes along and says, "Naw, I'm happy, single and don't want marriage or kids," they lose their mind like you're cheating through life. That's when they hit you with the, "You'll die alone!" Everyone dies alone. "No one will be around to take care of you!" Your children are living their lives, let them be and get into an old folks home. There are too many unwanted kids already in this brutal world - we don't need more.
In my life, it's my mom that keeps saying these things..I am 33 now...and it's like she won't let me live alone untill I get married..I know where she is coming from...she might be thinking it is such a crazy world, and I, her daughter would need someone who can be there for me when needed but I keep telling her that I would be fine alone..she just won't listen...
Same, it felt like it was not my own decision, as a 47 year old male women just don’t feel attracted to me so I have been single and dateless my whole life. I’m also at the point now that I think it’s Best thing that happened to me.
@@koningkoe I'm a 44F and would happily date a man your age (45-50) is my preferred age range. All the men I find in this age range are either divorced with kids or still banging on about wanting them. 🙄. I really don't want kids!! You sound great! 😅
@@Kittygirl88851 I am great, people like my personality generally. the problem is that I have a partially deformed face that can't be corrected by surgery so that's the reason I wouldn't find any woman that wanted to give me a chance and I certaintly won't blame them. I fully understand why women ignore me I would probably do the same if I was a woman. Even though i'm deformed there some men out there that are deformed as well and they did find love, but I was not that fortunate sadly. I enjoy being alone but I someimes feel sad that skipped everything in life but i'm happy that i'm still alive.
Ecclesiastes 4:2-3 GNT "I envy those who are dead and gone; they are better off than those who are still alive. But better off than either are those who have never been born, who have never seen the injustice that goes on in this world." Rock of Ages "Traditional wisdom is often long on tradition and short on wisdom." Warren Buffett, businessman investor "Hope in reality is the worst of all evils because it prolongs the torments of man" F. Nietzsche. "laughing lion" for the ages “It would be better if there were nothing. Since there is more pain than pleasure on earth, every satisfaction is only transitory, creating new desires and new distresses, and the agony of the devoured animal is always far greater than the pleasure of the devourer” ― Arthur Schopenhauer
@@qdpqbp so married ppl do not watch youtube SO YOU ARE HERE QZ YOU FEEL LONELY HAHAHAA POOR ONE GO TALK TO WALL MAYBE U GET FEELINF LESS LONLEY HHHHHHHHH
I'm 41, divorced with no kids, not religious and couldn't be happier. I don't date, I no longer desire to be in a relationship and don't currently have pets. Anytime I aspired to be what society wanted me to be, I was miserable. I may have mental health struggles and brain problems to contend with, but I'm happier in life than I ever have been before. I live a very peaceful life where I can pretty much do whatever I want and I would never go back to the life society wants me to live.
While this might sound conspiratorial (growing up in a cult like Mormonism will tend to do that) An idea Started to form in my twenties, is that they want to sell you something that makes you deeply miserable, yet market as the be all end all of happiness, so that you are so busy trying to figure out why you are so unhappy that you simply are unable to see that your being robbed for essentially no reason. The text book example of this is the car. So many people are maddingly depressed when driving, their health suffers, yet they are told not only that it's necessary, but that it's "freedom". Meanwhile cars get bigger, the loans get bigger, and the people get bigger, all without understanding that literally the person in Amsterdam is healthier, wealthier and happier BECAUSE they don't own a car.
@@ethanstump I would argue that cars can be a great time IF you have the wealth to maintain them, and you live in a place with low traffic. As for the average American consumer...well...they get sold a bill of goods and stay miserable as a result of it. The McMansion, the SUV, the long stressful high traffic commuting, all of it is a garbage lifestyle. I went a different path and am far happier for it.
@@Ziegfried82 that's the thing though, is that car manufacturers specifically lobbied the government during the world wars NOT to be labeled as luxury goods. i personally would've loved if cars had remained the domain of the rich, but the rich specifically did not want that to be so.
When I was young, I wanted to go to college, I wanted to be a flight attendant, I wanted to live in Hawaii. None of that happened after I got pregnant. After my girls were grown and moved out, I jetted to the southern US and enrolled in college and went to New Orleans with various friends. I got involved in photography and theater. I never finished my degree (it was kinda dumb)…and now I look ahead towards my future. I no longer listen to anyone who tells me what I need to do. I do what I want, when and how I want to do it. My point is, never listen when other people tell you how to live out your life. As far as we know, we only get one life (unless you are Buddhist or something) so make it YOUR best life. ❤
Putting up with my mother telling us constantly for 16 years (before she left) that every problem in her life, and the reason she was so angry and miserable all the time, was because of 'you bloody kids!' put me and both my brothers right off the idea of being that miserable 🤷♂ Way to end your genetic line mum! 🤦♂
I know exactly what you mean. But I had children late in life, largely because my wife wouldn’t have it any other way. I have changed radically for the better. Yes it has been near-limitless stress, but the change was worth it all.
@@Elemblue2 That's a good point but I've got two motorbikes that need looking after now and I'd probably have to stop riding if I had kids coz I really suck at it 😂
@@LiminalLion Thanks for your reply. They’re adults now. One is severely autistic, and mentally at the level of a nonverbal 3 year old. It has been and continues to be gruelling right into my 70’s. But yes it has changed me for the better as a person.
I… don’t know what to say. This video came at the PERFECT time for me. I’ve always thought I was weird for wanting to remain single and childless. But I look through the comments, and I see a whole community of people who feel the same way. ❤ Life isn’t a checklist made by other people. Life is an experience determined solely by you.
Well, the only thing I can say about Dr. P scathing opinion in the beginning is this. *That is the typical comment I would expect from a condescending, pretentious, sophistic, baby boomer* yes, the majority of their generation are fooked up ppl, insomuch that they had lived life on easy mode while all subsequent generations had continued deteriorating conditions.
You're definitely not weird! I'm 40, single, no children, never been married, have a successful career, focus on my passions and self development and very happy in the process 😊
All I know is that I have six brothers who all have kids and are broke and unhappy. I chose not to have kids. I have a high six figure income, I have traveled the world and now at 57 I am very happy with my life. If that is immature, I will take it. Thank you for this video.
Are you saying your brothers are all broke and unhappy because they have children? I am single with no children, but my five siblings all have children. Only one is broke, but they are all relatively happy. Life and attitude is what you make of it.
I'm right there in the same boat. And +1 for Route 66, I grew up along that in one of the small towns 😁 I have lived in Italy and Liberia, Africa and have seen and experienced so many amazing things. Also made friends around the world and helped some of them attend and graduate from college. We've truly done well, brother!
When I was pretty young my mom told me "someday you'll have a pain in the ass just like you running around and you'll understand." I replied "nope." I think about that moment fairly regularly. I've stuck to it. I sometimes feel kind of bad because I know for sure she'd love some grandchildren, but bringing a child into this world just seems cruel. Not to mention that in America it's a one way ticket to poverty. The energy that I would spend raising kids, I hope, is being used to advance society in other areas.
There is not even a need to advance society. Most people don't. Many people can't, even if they would like to. But it is not their fault. There is nothing wrong with just living your life without these thoughts of doing something for society. We are not ants.
Yeah we pretty much are wanting more wage slaves to ''contribute to society''. Its BS, I rather be on a stranded island than be in this shithole. Everyone is an opportunist, looking to make some money from you. Nothing in these modern societies is free. People can't even build their own shit because the government owns the land. If I could just pack up find a off the grid area and build my own shit I would. However at some point someone will find it, government will tear that shit down and tell me I have to leave because they own it or theres some law preventing me from occupying the space. Maybe thats why survival skills aren't taught in school, keep people locked in to society.
I was surprised by that statement. Usually, the choice of not having kids is very difficult. It can come from trauma, but most of the time, it requires a very deep knowledge of yourself. When everyone goes one way, you need to know all the reasons why you're going in the opposite direction. That's definitely maturity, in my opinion.
Nah, not anymore than the people "going one way" need to know all the reasons they're going in that direction. You could flip a coin to make your decision
It has longer been viable to get married or raise a family in our current western society. I was a Peace Corps Volunteer in Morocco in the late '90s. Having grown up in NYC, it was strange to be suddenly living in a culture where the larger community behaves as if they have a stake in YOUR life. I was in a small town a few miles outside the provincial capital. My landlord's family expected to have me over for dinner once a week, as did my boss and several faculty colleagues at the local school I worked. If a married couple in our building was overheard arguing the previous day, the landlord and neighbors would visit, intervene, stick noses in, and offer suggestions/solutions. Everyone keeping tabs on each other, sometimes annoyingly, but basically to make sure nobody in the community is lonely, having issues or problems (not even me- the weird Foreigner!), if there's a problem, everyone chips in the solve it, to relieve the stress.. It was so strange to be living in a society or community that not only "talks" about supporting marriage, but "actively" supported it through actions. In America, let's be honest, we ACTIVELY sabotage marriage! Bored? Unfulfilled? Your spouse pissed you off today? DIVORCE NOW! I realized that I could ONLY get married if I were living in such a community, where the entire village has a stake your marriage succeeding. You cannot do it alone! Definitely NOT in New York City, where nobody gives an #&% about you or your wife, and YOU don't give an &%$ about your neighbors (until they're on the local 6pm News!!). A much older Peace Corps Volunteer in his 70s told me that once upon a time, what I was seeing in my Moroccan town, existed in the USA pre-WW1.
Yeah. Mr Peterson was unwittingly projecting when he called us “delusional”. IMHO delusional is to take a look at the state of marriage, knowing full well that the odds are against you, and still go through with it.
@@juniorjames7076 While there's a lot of truth to that, I think it's also important to point out that some marriages are innately bad and will never be fixed by the community's efforts to "help." So in these cases, the community can be toxic. It will sometimes force the continuation of a toxic marriage. This is dangerous and it destroys lives. There have always been plenty of miserable, unhappy marriages throughout history. (That was the case in USA pre-WW1 and I guarantee you that there were such couples in that Moroccan town.) The couple remained married because they had no choice. The community would not let them divorce. They had to wait until death did them part in silent misery. They would have children because they had no real choice. It was demanded by their families, by society and God. This is of course a major point that lowlife Jordan Peterson conveniently leaves out when peddling his propaganda. Also, our ancestors had little in the way of birth control, which is the second BIG elephant in the room that Jordan Peterson does not like to address, either. "Were your ancestors wrong to have children?" The moron acts like people had a choice.
The truth is: If you marry and have kids you most probably will have a sad life due to the chore and lack of freedom. If you dont marry and not have kids probably will have a sad life due to the loneliness and lack of purpose. We always miss what we dont have.
I don’t have kids or a partner and don’t plan to. But my life is actually very active and fun. I get to travel and have tons of hobbies. And if I’m bored of my job I can just try another one. I make tones of friends along the way. I don’t get lonely when I’m on my own. Because I like being on my own. As for “purpose”. That’s just a word made up by people who want you to be a tool in the big oppressive machine called society.
43 and so happy I never got married or had kids. I still live alone and wouldn't have it any other way. Nothing wrong with marriage and kids, but that lifestyle just isn't for me. I love my solitude. Being around people for too long stresses me out.
Exactly… so many couples start the most random and idiotic “fights” between eachother, about the most pointless of things. I swear, my parents also even in their 60’s will get into screaming matches about the dumbest and most pointless of things. They both instigate them with me also, whenever I come over. Which is why I stay away. I enjoy my peace and comfort of being alone. Something is just inherently wrong about this human society. Working in the ER at Kaiser Permanente for the last 15 years also just goes to show just how many useless, brainless and attention seeking (which they aren’t getting in their own lives) miserable people there are in our society.
Yeah, right there with ya. Give me my solitude. Went to a High School reunion. Every husband there was griping about the wife and the single ones were care free. Go figure.
@dennisdjy Yeah, my girlfriend knows I'll never marry her, have kids with her, or move in with her. She says she's cool with it, and she gives me the space I need so I have a good arrangement so far.
Great video. Another thing I really hate is when I tell people that I don't want to get married or have children, I get the response, "You don't know that for sure. Maybe you haven't met the right person." I've even had people double down when I've repeated it and said, "No, I really don't want those things." It's almost as if it blows their minds that a person could never want that, or that the person must be unhappy.
They are simply projecting their anxiety on you, by gaslighting you. The hard part in life is to figure things out on your own. Finding out by trail and error what your « core values» are. But when you do, you gain real confidence. And autentisity.
Definitely walking an “unconventional path..” Always felt I was on the outside looking in on society! Thank you for sharing 🙏🏾😊 For all those souls out here battling themselves wondering why they are having the thoughts & feelings that do not match up with societal “conventions”...💞
We are building a new, sustainable society based on logic and reason instead of being brainwashed by what most see as tradition but is really just a program🎉👀🎯
Haha. Yeah I can give 2 shits about continuing my bloodline. Why would I bring the burden of life on anybody after my disdain for it. I'll die happy knowing I didn't reproduce. I don't care if its a dealbreaker in a relationship.
I can't thank you enough for how you and your content introduced me to a fresh way of thinking and living. I found this channel back in 2022 while I was going through a really difficult phase of my life and didn't know which way to head. Einzelgänger will always hold a special place in my heart. I am truly thankful. ❤
I am 71, never married. Sometimes I do regret not having any children, at least none that I know of. But I've enjoyed life it's been an adventure and looking forward to the rest of this adventure
Admirable honesty about regretting not having kids but nonetheless having enjoyed life and looking forward to the rest of life. I feel similarly, it’s not black and white for me!
A wise man once told me. "There are three rings that comes with marriage, first is the engagement ring, second is the wedding ring, and the third one is called suffering." So make sure you dive into it with your eyes open.
My parents fought constantly so I never wanted to risk replicating that scenario in my life. As I grew up my friends were getting divorced and having to pay child support. Just seems like more reasons to avoid it than not.
Yeah same here, they simply never stopped fighting, day & night, 24/7/365. I'm born 1960, parents circa 1930. I do see it as a blue collar, 10th grade educated, greatest / silent gen thing, everyone I knew as a kid, friends & family, same thing - totally abusive parents, to each other, to their kids. I had to get away from my parents when I went away to college, managed to live on my own from then on. Even coming home to visit for a day or 2, right back to the constant fighting, over the same old stupid trivial things for decades, every day, it would trigger feelings of extreme anxiety & depression - later on I figured out I literally have PTSD about my entire childhood, especially family gatherings & holidays, I still have PTSD about Christmas season, need to stay home alone all of December. Sad.
A 50% divorce rate and that means hefty child support payments and a loss of your assets. Doesn't seem like very good odds. Not sure why anyone would even risk getting into that situation.
I can't appreciate this video enough. Whenever I talk about how having children can be selfish, others look at me like I'm crazy and selfish. I'm not, I've just been able to see past the fairytale we've been sold.
Indeed, being a _good_ parent precludes selfishness while mere reproduction or the desire to do so does not indicate virtue. I've known terribly selfish parents who scarred their children for life. These were regular people whom others would say of them things like "she's so sweet."
I am almost seventy. As a child, I experienced abuse and poverty. I decided then that when I grew up I would enjoy life and remain free of family. I have never regretted it. I couldn't imagine me any other way. My long marriage ended with my husband leaving me in poverty so I do wish I had avoided marriage too. I am alone, most everyone has passed but I have my wonderful pets. I live in the woods. I am at peace. I was demonized by society for not wanting children. Society feels threatened by those of us who walk a different path. I love difference and diversity. Kindness is my religion. I don't fit in anyone's box. The road less traveled is always the most interesting one. Live and let live. I do have my opinions though and Jordan Peterson is someone to avoid!
I'm almost 60. Never married, though I had a partner for 28 years till he died. Some of it was really good, some really bad. I always knew I never wanted children and have only ever had one person question that. I don't feel demonised, that's possibly reflective of the wider society we live in. Peterstone can come out with some good stuff, but when he talks in absolutes as he does in that clip, it becomes a judgemental diatribe instead of a nuanced exploration of human nature
@@sy_dianne5224 He's making a blanket statement in a specific context that has been clipped for media soundbites. He's not making a moral judgement about all people, he's just talking about what makes people happy in general and what is good for society in general. He wouldn't have a problem with someone living a humble life of solitude if that's what makes them happy. He would, rightfully, I think, have a problem with someone trying to promote a lifestyle of single childlessness to those who would not benefit from it, while simultaneously feeling entitled to the fruits of a society that requires a steady supply of children (i.e, a next generation) to function.
the idea is staying in competition alone until everyone dies off eventually one way or another and if that means compromising competition until your death we'll then be it.
I lived a miserable married life for 5+ years, had to sacrifice all my happiness so that my (then) husband and in-laws would be happy, and all I received in return was ridicule and cruel words. I found peace for the first time in several years once I finally decided to walk away. I was literally in rags by then, and had to start from scratch and work very hard to get to where I am now - have a decent job, and enough money saved up once every 2 or 3 months and travel as often as I can, which makes life feel wonderful! And I thank God often for having a child-free life!
Being childfree is a life choice and is as valid as having kids. It has good things and bad things and you have to deal with the consecuences of both choices. As a childfree married woman, I feel as normal and happy as the next person 🤸♀️
I haven't found anything bad about being child free. I actually adopted out , my only born child. That is how much I never wanted to be a mom. 😏 I gave her everything I couldn't. Anyway I digress....I'm 53, most likely I'll be living with my girlfriends drinking wine and playing in the sun! Heck yes!!
I am a Christian, 60 now, a lifelong bachelor; never missed having a family. Very happy & healthy (indeed, people think I'm 40). No conflict with my faith either: nowhere in the New Testament does it say that you _must_ have kids. I see my friends-with-families live in a constant state of worry & anxiety. While I'm free to travel the world & read 40-60 books a year.
I am 56, with Christian leanings, and also a lifelong bachelor. I have enjoyed being able to sleep in on the weekends and not having my sleep cut short by the racket of little feet. I also enjoy the freedom to kick back and watch sports, or as you do, read a number of books. Lately, I find myself really getting into some of the old Time-Life book series, like 'Time Frame' or 'Mysteries of the Unknown'. Then there is my chess library of over 60 books. These help keep the mind in general sharp, as well as my game! I am not totally withdrawn from society, though. I work full time. I'm a curler, a folk dancer and perform on stage with the troupe for various events, I hunt upland game birds in the autumn, and I play some classic arcade video games on my PC. Unwelcomed in my life are alcoholism, drugs and pornography. I have my hobbies and I have my principles. Most importantly, I have my peace of mind, and I'm sure as hell not going to throw it away on a woman I don't even want to be seen in public with....just because some miserable people think I should!
I assume you use your greater free time to serve the Lord specifically: He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord - 1 Corinthian 7:32
What happens in 20 years when you are old, sick and alone? With no one to take care of you? With no legacy to pass on, and zero purpose for living at that point?
As a 40 year old man thats single and childless; I get alot of pressure from my father to have a family. He doesnt understand that times are different, times are tough, and for me personally, I feel like having a family and raising children seems too stressful and financially draining.
Ironaically, those who are more responsible and cautious don't have kids, while the crappy people tend to have kids nowadays. Of course, it doesn't help that the government steals from those who are productive to support those who are not making it more financial difficult for more responsible people to have a family
At your age it's not worth the risk. Divorce is always a possibility and trying to rebuild your life at say 50-54 would be a huge undertaking. Also at your age and likely your spouse the chances of having a special needs child is greatly increased. I have three kids with my wife and my middle child is non verbal autistic. The mentality of a toddler perpetually. She has a family history of bi polar, schizophrenia and other things. I work away from home for extended periods of time otherwise we would already be divorced. In all likelihood we still will be as it has become undeniable that she cannot get along with anyone for long no matter whom it is. As the great Robin Williams put it. Being alone is not the worst thing In the world, being in a relationship with someone and yet still feeling alone is
High divorce rates and you lose most of what you've worked for, hefty child support payments. Stay single and wake up every morning smiling and thankful for your freedom.
I just got back from the wedding of one of my best friends. Everyone was either married or having their first or second baby. While I was just there having fun and being amazed by the adult lives of people I once knew young, my celibacy was bothering everyone, turning it into a pity towards me. The thing is that their lives seemed so sad to me. They got married because of fear to end up alone so they accepted a very average life giving up themselves. But no one told me how happy they were to actually get married and have kids. Everything seemed so precarious, that got back home being even more uninterested in marriage.
Labeling it an average life is a personal perspective of yours. Based on personal experience so far. For that moment in time they might not seem happy but it could be they find or have a greater joy in life that you do
Only one person I know from my early days is still in a relationship with their original partner. The trail of divorces, genuinely bitter acrimony, the weaponisation of children etc has been sobering to witness. The older one gets, the more you see how unsuited a lot of people are in long-term relationships.
My father has literally told me to my face that by NOT having kids, I haven't served my purpose as God intended. Part of me not wanting to have kids was caused by my father's upbringing, he was one of the most abusive dad's in our neighborhood when I was growin up & I honestly was scared that IF I ever had a child, I might turn out to be like him as a parent...
I'm at my 40s, a woman, single, never had any relationships. Sometimes, when I listened to Jordan Peterson, it kind of makes me sad, like I asked myself: was there something wrong with me? Was I not feminine enogh or was I screwed up so much? I am an introvert. I have tried to make a relationship work once. But, I found it did not work. I find that marriage is not for everyone and it's okay.
It sounds like you may have other stuff or other issues going on….. but either way, it’s your life….. and if you’re happy , then that’s all that matters
I had two alcoholic parents that beat me bloody daily, for no reason, just because I was alive. It took me into my 30's before I could socialize with peers, and the scars of the abuse are life-long. It shaped my character, and I am nothing like my parents - but I chose a childless life and have very few friends. I am absolutely not lonely, this is my way of life. I chose to be a firefighter, medic and cop, and in this way cared for others. Don't let society dictate your path of life.
I had a similar upbringing and totally understand. 💜
You are an inspiration
While I empathize with your past experiences, the problem with your statement is that you could have choosen to opt out of living at any point in time during your life, but you chose not to. Why? Because no matter what you've gone through, deep down you know that to be alive is better than to not be alive. Not bringing children into this world is your choice, but please don't paint it as some selfless act.
@@oriehi_raphael_paul
I would say that most men crave for the dream of having a beautiful family of their own but the risk is immensely against the modern men.
I'm glad that some have found someone to raise children's to this world and wish them the best.
This was very touching, I had the same domestic abuse upbringing, tried ending my life when I was 12, my brother saved me. The way this world is i am not interested to bring children into this world, I love my own company now days and wouldnt have it any other way.
I'm 72, never married, have no children, and just a few important friends. I spend lots of time in solitude in my small home. I have no pressing needs or responsibilities, no worrying debt, and plenty of time to think. For me, a life of observance and contemplation is very important. Making a family and doing great things that may improve humanity is a wonderful way to create a lasting legacy, but I much prefer to sit this one out.
Wat yu do to work
I'm happy for your child free-life.
❤
Same here brother!!!
You are a free soul! Enjoy your peaceful life sir.
I escaped a life of poverty by avoiding heard mentality. I didn't have a single role model to guide me but I had an abundance of bad examples. A blessing in disguise, I imagine.
Same here, no role models but a lot of bad examples to NOT follow...
EXACTLY...i remember when i was 7. To think about poverty and how i would not live that life. I just did the opposite of what everyone in the hell hole i grown up did.
I heard it is spelled HERD mentality
Absolutely - anti-role models can be just as helpful as real role models. Looking at someone and saying, "I don't want to end up like that" can be powerful.
My father AND mother 🙄
If you're born to fit the mold, you'll never break it.
If you're born to break the mold, you'll never fit it.
great saying - i'll remember it cause i was born to break it trying to fit in
You never can leave your own footsteps, if you always follow the footsteps of others.
I'm the latter
Amen.
I'm stealing it.
You want to get married, settle down and have kids? That's great! You want to stay single, focus on yourself and your passions/hobbies? That's great too! I don't understand why some people get offended at the idea of the latter, as if we're somehow cheating at life by not doing the former.
This is exactly right. To each his own. Why the conservative right wing media feels the need to turn this into a culture war pissses me off.
I think those who judge are likely unhappy with their own lives and decisions. If someone is truly content with their own decisions they don’t feel the need to judge the lives of others..This applies to both people with and without children
Whatever you want to do is accepted in a hyper modern and individualistic society maybe but in collective or even somewhat traditional societies and historically it was stigmatized when you stayed single and don't start a family and sometimes even now it's considered schizoid behavior
@@questioneverything1224that's true sometimes and other times people judge when you don't go with the norm or you don't do what everyone else in the family did it's not always because they're miserable or think they made the wrong choice
Because you are not holding up the society you rely on. You are not paying your side of the bargain. I have all the stress, cost and effort to create, soldiers, nurses, engineers, surgeons, Doctors, teachers, builders, farmers the list goes on and on. You have not paid your fair share but expect to still reap the benefits. It's not about feelings it's about duty-free
Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect. Marriage isn't for everyone. Marriage is a wonderful institution invented so that two people could solve problems together they would never have had, had they remained single. Being single is an opportunity to live life on your own terms. A single life, not married with no children, has the ability to maneuver in life, with minimal constraints, that is the true power. Men are not worried about dying alone. Men are worried about living miserably. I'd rather live dangerously free than peacefully enslaved.
Why though? Why would u rather live dangerously free?
It seems like you don't think of marriage as a partnership,
2 people who love each other and want to navigate life together, and h ave a family that brings untold joy.
You will be very lonely someday.
@@janettemasiello5560 Yeah it's possible that he'll be very lonely one day, maybe he's already lonely, maybe he just said that cause he wants to convince himself that he'll be fine alone, or maybe he's really just happy to be alone.. we can't really tell.. but I hope he'll tell us why it's better to live dangerously free than peacefully enslaved....
@@janettemasiello5560 You can be married and lonely, not every marriage works out
@@mengmeng243you prefer to live enslaved?
I am 48, never married, and childless. I catch myself feeling like I'm weird, have failed at something everybody else does, and not living up to something. But I never wanted, nor even liked, children. And I find it very questionable to rely on another person for fulfilment, completeness, and a sense of security. My parents seperated after 37 years, when I was already 34. So, that did enhance my feeling that in the end, there is no such thing as ultimate trust in someone else. Humans are mood-driven fleshy robots, totally unpredictable. Self-reliance and feeling complete on your own are absolutely essential.
Exactly. Life is short so just do what makes you happy.
Until you have to be accountable in your life review and come back when you fail to achieve your life purpose. No pressure lol.@@Lone_Star86 Read up on NDEs and your YOLO will shrivel up fast
Dude, you've got this thing figured out. That last line about self-reliance is key, whether or not you enter into a relationship and/or have kids.
I'm 53 and never had kids but several of my ex-girlfriends had kids shortly after we broke up (usually one year later). 1) I read that studies show that our DNA finds its way into kids that aren't technically ours, not sure that's true. 2) I helped these girls in their lives so there are more kids on Earth thanks to my being here. While it's not my DNA per se, I still helped the community. Some of us are better off being free and helping 100 people than being tied to helping 1 other person. Also, the financial risk of ruin for a man these days is a huge factor. I don't regret not having an ex wife.
It's okay for men to not have kids (2/3 of men who ever lived did not) because they pay NET taxes. It's not so much okay for women to not have kids (1/3 of women who ever lived did not) because they are on the receiving end. But that would self correct when men could choose which 1/3 of women not to reproduce. But now we have the welfare state paying her rent, social media telling her she's hot and Tinder hooking her up with an occasional Chad with Bad taste. When you subsidize something, you get more of it. We got more fugly women (who now want to see themselves represented on TV).
Lets face it guys. Not everyone should have kids. Its usually the broken families that have the most kids
One of the reasons why the world is such an f'd up place, these kinds of people spreading their seeds all over the place.
You ever seen idiocracy? Lol. Perfect example.
yeah, most people should not have kids?
yeah, the imbeciles
❤ agreed, thanks 🙏
I did everything society told me to do, my life was miserable. I don't care anymore what society says, I think for myself, what I want, what's good for me, what makes me happy. I'm here to be myself, not someone else.
Good for you. And you know, there’s a saying that I really love: opinions are like a-holes, everybody has one. 😅 So you do you !
Why do what society wants you to do in the first place if it's not what you want? I am the one that wants kids, not the society. It IS a natural imperative, without it I wouldn't be here.
You just inspired me to pursue porn
What did society tell you? not to have kids? or to be a boss bitch? (assuming you're a woman). Society is just a standard it doesn't mean you MUST go with it ...rather adapt I would say
@@Leonhart_93 who says you are better because you are here! Many are the times I wish I never were!
Along my life, over 60 now, I never fitted in. Never felt belonging to a group or another, never liked what most people of my age liked. I thought there was something wrong about me. I had my own world and was happy being in it. This video shad a light in this life and made me feel normal for the first time. So happy reading others accounts showing that there are more people out there feeling the same way.
Thank you so much for showing this vision where we can feel that in the end we belong to a group in its own way!
always remember you are not alone in feeling completely fine being alone. be proud of your independence. stay strong brother
Here's a 61 🇮🇹 ✌
I've been feeling a lot of this, especially since my wife left.
Same here. 64 and I never fitted in society. Only recently detected that I was a 'system buster' spiritually speaking it was never the goal to fit in, on the contrary!
I confirmed to my parents and society's expectations, and lived a LIE. It is very arrogant of Jordan Peterson to make statements like that.
My father had 10 children. From the 9 remaining, as one of my half-siblings passed away, only 3 of us were willing to take care of him during his last months. The rest of them didn't even want to have him at their homes. Having children and being a good parent is no guarantee that you will be taken care of when you're old.
There is no way children will love their parents less than they deserve. I am sure your father was awful as a parent
Most people are spoiled today. You sound spoiled and entitled. It's not good to pamper your children as they will turn out thankless. Another thing is mother's whom used the father and lie on him. Generally men are not appreciated by society.@@Alga_Kazakhstan_Alga
@@Alga_Kazakhstan_Alga please don't speak disrespectfully of somebody you don't know. He was a good man, a good father and always worked hard to provide for all of us. Sadly, some people are just ungrateful.
@@LouiseAttaque888 Sounds like a raging narcissist
@@LouiseAttaque888 People are quick to judge, i'm sorry. Not everyone knew gratitude, that is reality.
When I was 9 years old, I told my mama that I would never get married or have children. I remember her saying that I might change my mind, but it was my life to choose what I wanted to do or not. I'm 67 years old, not married, and have no children; I am very happy with my life and don't feel like I have missed a thing.
I knew it at 14
I came to the same realization around 11 or 12. Everyone scoffed at me and told me I would change my mind. I am 43 now. I never changed my mind.
Are you a proponent of Anti-natalism by any chance?
Bro im glad I changed my mind of not getting married I ain't living a miserable life like my parents!
Same here chlofene!!
I think a lot of times people that follow society's norms and conventions are scared by those that don't. If someone has gotten married, bought a house, and has children, they are extremely invested into that lifestyle. Being confronted with someone happily living an alternative lifestyle might evoke feelings of doubt. They might have never considered doing things differently, or according to their own ideas. And that feeling of: "Wait, I could have chosen? I could have decided for myself what I wanted to do with my life?" can be pretty intense. Also, making life choices (like having children) that you can't go back on kind of force you into making yourself believe it was the right choice. And that also works both ways of course.
Scared? We pity thee, we won't be the ones dying alone depending on strangers for everything, how strong's that copium you're on, Mr. Disfunctional?
@@dannymoneywell Have you even seen the video? Einzelgänger stated that having kids is not a guarantee that they will provide for you when you're old. Your kids might simply not bother with you or, as it has unfortunately happened, die before that can happen.
This is why I decide to just do whatever tf I want and if others dont like me, then that's on them. Not me. I have zero expectations for people to like me, and I will not be a slave to others anymore. If they hate me, I am okay with it because I know that their hate comes from a one-sided perspective. No one will ever know the true me. So why should I listen to someone who only knows a small piece of me. I know who I am and no one will ever guilt trip me into thinking otherwise.
@@dannymoneywelllol I barely speak to my abusive mother so if that was her plan in having me... oh well tough luck for her
@@dannymoneywell do you know the date, time and circumstances of your death? You can't . So how do you know you won't die alone?
My grandmother had 4 children 9 grandchildren and a loving husband, she was alone in her home when she died.
Even if your children live close to you, their lives are more important to them than your life, especially if they have jobs and kids of their own.
I haven't spoken to my brother in 29 years, do you know you won't fall out with your kids because of their choices or your refusal to change? You can't.
You can't know your future so you can't predict it. If you outlive your spouse, and your kids aren't physically or emotionally close to you, you're going to depend upon strangers for everything, the very things you claim causes you pity for those who you think will experience those things.
You have no control over your life or your death, you can only live it and hope you don't suffer the things you appear to fear.
People who stay single don't delude themselves about the possibility of how they will spend their final years, but they aren't prepared to sacrifice their single existence because of it.
So with that in mind, I see your position a coping mechanism. You fear the future you highlight, and can't cope with that possibility.
If you're married and have children, did you do so for genuine reasons or did you cross your fingers and hope those actions would reduce the likelihood of experiencing the things you've afraid of?
I would say to Jordan P: I would have had a kid if I had found a woman who I loved, and who I believed would be a good parent to my child, while also being myself, psychologically, emotionally, and financially prepared to have a kid. We all need to find our own paths in life, and not force ourselves into marriage and creating a child because "we're supposed to." Having a child in such a way is the very definition of selfishness. The last thing this world needs is more people born into unhealthy and loveless situations.
I'd bet that most aren't planned pregnancies.
Well said
Very well said.
Same. I'm not against having children. I know I would love my child. But how am I supposed to think about children when I haven't even met the right mother for them? My previous serious relationships have ended badly. If I had had children with those women, it would have been a nightmare. I'd be in debt or just plain broke.
Totally agree.
I am 67 years old. I never wanted to be married or have children. The idea of all of it was really unappealing to me. I have no regrets. In fact, I couldn’t figure out why people even wanted to do it. I actually always preferred animals to people, so I’ve always had a bunch of them. Even when I was part of a family growing up I didn’t like it. And personally, I don’t think my parents should have ever had kids because they were terrible at being parents. And I agree with you, when people choose to have kids, the kids don’t have a say in it. If they did, many would say no thanks. Being alive isn’t easy.
there is an existence after this one sir, i am Hindu from India and human birth is mostly suffering, please do read The Bhagavad Gita As It Is by Bhaktivedanta Prabhupada ji, all humans are unique, there are two ways of living life, materialistic or spiritual, this modern existence, you cannot be 100% spiritual/religious,one should have balance, there are realms of existence besides this earth, and how one lives his life determines where we go after this, to be born again as a human on earth, is for me the worst thing possible, Hare Krishna
@@शिवा1008 if given the choice to exist or not to exist on this planet I would have chose NOT to.
@@bodhixxx1 same, i used to think it was a cosmic mistake, still do, but have my aged folks at home so gotta keep going at least for their sake, im their only child, and they have been very very good parents
Same here. I have had a strong opinion against having children since I was 5. Now I am 47 and think exactly the same, but I can relate to you regarding your parents. My parents neglected me emotionally and I think that’s the reason why I never wanted children, because I never felt truly loved so I didn’t want to reproduce that pattern. Even if I am still for being childless for many reasons, I also think that it’s not that normal to have a strong opinion on that issue being just a little child.
@@elsaaforges my reasons for staying single are a bit different, in India where im from, most are arranged marriages, based on community, wealth, status, etc i have also been unlucky in my affections for the opposite sex, also i think i have unrealistic standards, marriages today are mostly like a business transaction, sure you might fall in love after the marriage, have kids etc but nah, id rather be alone. i cant live a life of pretention, i cant marry for the sake of getting married. its too hard. nope, wont do it
I quit dating apps and my life has never been much peaceful than now.
I never went onto the apps. Met women in person. There isn't a difference. I do feel like a badass solo renegade now. Having fun my way with my time. It's great.
Same.
Prostitution apps
I just stop giviing a fuck honestly after hooking up with a chick. I felt very empty after it was over and knew something was wrong.
No kidding. Same here. Now the idea of even try again DISGUSTS ME.
Steve Jobs nailed it when he said,
"Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma, which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary. "
He was also a big a hole
Jobs was very egoistic. He denied fathership of his daughter Lisa. Not a guy of high moral and certainly not an idol.
True, but as Lady Gaga once said,
"Ra ra ooh la la"
@@Siddartha1980nobody cares about your personality when your arguement is valid like the case here.
Everyone reading this, let me just say:
Don’t let online strangers or family or friends determine if you should want kids or not. If you do, PLEASE make sure you are in a good financial, mental, physical, and emotional state to do so (and with a equally agreeable partner). If you don’t, then create some short and long-term goals since you’ll have a pretty large free-time margin down the line. Keep walking in truth and in love ❤
Probably the first actual advice somebody can and should take here in these comments 👏 So many people here bashing each other for wanting/not wanting kids..... just live and let live , its not hard
I refuse to put up with the insanity of the modern w-om-an and the madness of our broken dating and mating systems, not to mention the merciless, anti-male divorce court industry.
I also refuse to continue to regard my gen-it-als as mere toys. They are for making another human being, not playing around with.
Therefore, I have resolved to become celibate. All unused s-exu-al energy will be converted into creativity.
You are an online stranger telling people how they should live. What an irony.
@@_sneer_ :-D 🫶🏾
@@_sneer_ No he/she isnt. They're saying that its your own choice and you should think for yourself.
Those who pressure others to do as they did, getting married, having kids, just want you to validate their own life decisions. That serves to reaffirm that they made the right choice.
That is incredibly selfish of them. I bet those people only pretend to care about your best interests.
Very intelligent comment. And accurate👍🏻✌🏻
JP is a government plant there to lead and control the opposition since there are a lot of sexless single angry men out there talking in groups on the net, sharing information. To those in power, this is scary, as it should be. The fabric of society is unraveling, and men are checking out. Historically, the majority of men never passed on their genes. They died one way or another or were sexually selected against. So he is also wrong about the facts. Government and corporations need manpower tho and there is a severe demographic decline going on that is global in scale. As for me I'm going my own way.
Absolutely true ! And jealousy I would say too. Of course in a good world it would be different.
I had that. Decades ago I moved from poverty farm land USA and went to the sunbelt. I prospered. At one point one of my farm land family said 'when will you come back here and suffer like the rest of us?'
Never did that....
When I was a younger man, I used to wonder why the married with children spent so much time trying to convince the young and unmarried that it was an imperative to get married and have children. I heard all the reasons and rationalizations, and while I wasn't opposed to marriage, I didn't have it as a personal goal. In fact, I think that marriage is an essential institution for the furtherance of our species and for the development and maintenance of society. Still, I couldn't quite grasp why there was so much pressure by those who choose the family way to convince everyone that that was the only sensible and honorable way. Finally, it dawned on me, as I observed at all the unhappy married couples, the bitter divorces, and consequent state of society. The reason must be that misery loves company.
100%
My take on it as well.
Marriage is not an essential institution bro. It’s thrust upon us, the state interferes through marriage. Women have been brainwashed that marriage is a spiritual occasion, all these disney characters and happily ever after psyop. State controls men through women.
That's it.
You got it right
So you married
I'm in my 30s. I'm single, I have no kids and I'm happy. All the money I make is spent on myself and all my free time is spent on doing things that I like doing. Call me immature, call me selfish, say that I'm wrong. In my humble opinion, the ones who are deluding themselves are those who think that the universe gives a crap about whatever they choose to do.
Exactly it shouldn't matter if someone wants to start a family or not. I'm not a parent by any means but one quote that sticks to the back of my head is:
"Every child deserves a parent but not every parent deserves a child"
Good on you I went with the heard got married when I didn't want to so I could fit in ended up in a divorce marriage just doesn't feel right to me I felt very trapped. Maybe with the perfectly compatible person it does I have my little girl out of it but I just don't think I was built for it.
@@daryl9799Thank you for your honesty. I wish you the best ❤
That's great. 🎉When men force things they don't just make themselves unhappy, they also make the women or partners unhappy as well. I hope you continue to do what you know makes you happy whether that changes or stays the same.
Happy people tell people online that they are happy usually lol
Happily married 35 years. We never wanted kids. 66 and 75 now, no regrets. People have to find their own path in life.
@@ivanvukasovic1371what could anyone say in response to this, except... Why do you care? And also, what is it you personally think children owe to their parents?
@@ivanvukasovic1371it's your life, not your parents'
@ivanvukasovic1371 i will be honest to you: if you knew what you wanted, you d be so sure, even your parents couldnt stop you from being you- aka: you wouldnt really give a fuck. 'there is a possibility' is not equal with ' the two of us are fine with that' .
The reason why you give 1 fuck, is bcs this opinion talks For you. You want children. Your partner doesnt.
this is how i want it to be
Your kids would have stuck you in nursing home and abandoned you anyway. Good job.
"The greatest tragedy of family is the unlived lives of the parents " -- Carl Jung
The greatest tragedy is to bring another innocent soul to suffer on this prison planet.
@@FactsCountdown LOL. facts. I was interested in a big family when I was younger. It never worked out and time just went on and I got older and older. Now, I'm in my mid 40s and happy that I never had kids because frankly, the world and most people are so sh1tty, that I wouldn't want to sentence a human being to a lifetime on this planet.
jorden ignoring that
@@ConTheorySpiritist so we should try finding good person which we can make happy each other or just try to be happy alone?
may be being alone is not the answer? or being with partner is not the answer?
Damn, that hits deep, i always urged my mom to live her own life intead of worrying about me and my life
Recently I caught up with an old boyfriend, we dated in our late 20s, I am 50 now. He was a bit worried for me, since I never got married, nor have kids. I thanked him for his concern and I wasn’t offended in the least. That’s when I knew I was truly comfortable with the choices I’ve made.
Most women regret not having kids.
Most men don't care one way or the other.
That makes sense given that women have the kids financed by someone else and men have to finance the kids.
poor old lady.... i feel bad for you. God loves you
@@stoicsanjin poor fearful man.. i feel bad for you. i hope one day you can win over your fear of being different
You are living your life the way you decide, be proud of it! Cheers!
@@stoicsanjinlol bro triggered by women having a choice
I never wanted to have children or to get married. I'm 58 now and still feel this way.
Did i miss out on something ? Maybe, but i really cannot see what that would have been.
I DO know from a very early age that i am a loner, and those around me keep reminding me of this fact, by always attacking it, proving i understand myself a lot better than they could ever do.
I’m 54, and enjoy it even more as I see my friends having to support grown children, raise their grandchildren, and have no money or freedom! Too much drama for me.
Societal standards. The big hive mind, group think syndrome.
I'm 33 years old, I don't have kids, I don't want to have kids. For most of my life I feel like I've already failed at living for myself, I've been somewhat been overwhelmed over the opinions of others before people even gave me a real deal of expressing myself, people like racist, people of great authority, crazy alcoholics and self centred people.
I'm more of a loner anyways because most people I've been in contact with hardly have enough in common with me nor interests with me. I don't want to be overwhelmed again by politics and the ridiculous point of views of others whom share an overload of their passion.
They are Jealous and Only Want You in the SAME CHAINS They ARE IN. TOO BAD, Them. Not Happening. Sorry You WERE SO GUILIBLE
@MadaraUchiha-ly8wr
You're doing FINE, My Friend. DO NOT CHANGE ONE IOTA
I tried marriage. Got divorced after 8 years. No kids and im 44 with no debt, no drama, and no regrets. I have so much peace now. I tried dating, but I even found that to be a chore.
The minute I think of dating, marriage, kids, spouse, this, that, I'm filled with a nauseating sense of dread that comes. I even have breathing problems, as mild as it is. It just forms an unpleasant knot in my gut
Thanks for sharing that, as a single 26 yo guy, this somehow resonates with me, as I've tried dating and felt the same.
Yup
i tried a relationship after being divorced and it was even worse. the more time passes, the worse women get. now i got peace and i am quite happy.
100% Ditto on that.
I am a woman who has never wanted to have children. I have a meaningful job helping others at a hospital, I have a few good friends, I do a lot of fun stuff in my free time (I climb mountains, ski, fly a paraglider, read, meditate, do yoga, play a piano, swim in the lake, watch movies... ) and on my way I even met an amazing partner and have love in my life. I am truly happy and satisfied living my life. I love my nephews and my partner's nieces, but whenever I see a mother and a child I just think "I am so happy it is not me" and go back to my wonderful life... ❤
Yea, that's great. But although many men think that's okay for them to be single and childless, they heavily judge women who are CHOOSING to be single and childless.
An impact on my perception of having kids, is when my father told me that his father (my grandfather I never really knew) despised his children. The assumption of parents loving their children is naïve.
Of course
so true, kids stay babies only for a short time, having a parent like that is something like a curse but Karma has a plan for us all,
it's not, and that makes no sense. Loving children is imperative. If you don't, you're disrespecting your ancestors as well as your predecessors. Your grandfather was a failure and naive, not those who love.
@@ProtoIndoEuropean88 all people are not the same, who knows what that old man went through in his life, maybe he loved another but married the grandmother, and was sad throughout his life, maybe he had a drinking problem, everyone is different, there are childless people who are good with kids and parents who abuse their kids, the world is a strange place
@@शिवा1008
Then the problem is simply toxic people, not having kids nor making a family! The problem lies in how our society is being run by these politicians.
Sometimes the hardest to deal with is the judgement and opinions of those around you. Knowing your family, coworkers and friends consider you as a weirdo or incapable or broken in some way. And to explain all this goes way above the head of the normal culturally integrated human.
What can we do if usually if not every single time this kind of speech and ideas are the product of weird incels who couldn't get laid if their lives depended on it so they say they don't need these things to make them feel better about their own disfunctional emotional and social interactions and the empty shells they call their lives? Not gonna paint the white sheep black just to appease you.
F them
As much as it can hurt, you will always be an anomaly to someone who just can't or doesn't want to acknowledge your way of living as valid, and the way they go about it can range from a minor inconvenience to the most depraved shit ever. It's why speaking your mind and standing up for your own good is so important, or else they'll use every chance they get to steamroll over you
@@filerecovery5319 you are right, and its really not a big problem for me. Its more like, how others perceive me, its a part of my psyche still. Having a nice car, wearing nice clothes, having a nice house, its nice to think people perceive you as successful, that you made it. Having normal relationships with children is also part of that "success" just because society decided it should be, no amount of philosophy from our individuality can change society.
Since we cannot change society, we can only change ourselves, we have to accept this and accept that for that part of our lives many people will consider us failures. Even if people love us deeply and respect us, due to their conditioning, at times they will feel pity for us, think we are broken, they cannot help it. This can be hard at times, and my younger self struggled with this a lot.
Its just slightly sad to consider this, I don't really mean anything by it either, and its not something that needs fixing, just thinking out loud here i guess. Thanks for your support and reply.
Actually I often had people telling me they envy my lifestyle because I am able to manage and do things alone, something that has been taken from them or because they are too afraid to do things alone.
I never married, I don't have kids. I think generally people that choose this route are not valued by society. However I know why I made the decisions I made and I stand by them. I have my reasons and I don't have to explain them to anybody. You're allowed to be you.
Same here exactly as you have stated.
Didn’t have a kid until late, best decision, I shouldn’t have waited so long. Being a parent is the most challenging thing in life...spending money carelessly does however follow the majority in the West.
I mentally ill and don't want kids that I can't do a good job taking care of. I think that I am making a mature decision.
Dude nobody said you have to have kids. My uncle is 62 and never had kids or get married and he’s happy. But if you want kids and want to get married then you can if you want if that’s what makes you happy. Just do what makes you happy
Username checks out 😂 Remember, you can’t be a mother to your pets as a substitute for children.
I'm 58, single, never married, no children. Always had to deal with people judging me. Once I went to a counselor and he gave me a children's book called Ferdinand the bull. It actually really helped. Now I don't care what people think of me. All I know is I'm not lonely and I absolutely love my life and it is very full and enriching.
I knew at a very young age that I wanted a peaceful single life. I grew up with tons of drama and disfunction within my own family which led to lots of blaming and narcissism. Id rather live the quiet life than live a life someone else wanted for me and hate it. I saw that go bad in my family as well. Never do something for someone else. Do it bc you want to do it! I cant tell you how many people have wanted to change me to their own liking and for their own benefits. Its disgusting. I dont want to be part of cult aka society.
I love and totally agree with what you said
As African, I relate
I agree
A lot of healthy people out here who chose early not to marry and have children. Good on you.
A child is a human being. One should not have children if they cannot care for and provide for the children. Also children need time and dedication from the parents that brought them into this world.
Common fucking sense which most people don't have
Wishful thinking🤦♂️
Cowardly thinking. There is never a perfect time for a child. Can you say all your life choices are perfect? Should you not make any choices in life if they aren't well thought out and guaranteed to bring a successful outcome ?
@@vlid0I think the meaning is more about people that are in poverty already and then add a child to the mix?
@@kab2599
Or multiple children as so often seems to be the case with those who are least able to provide for them.
My father condemned me all throughout my twenties for not starting a family and carrying on the family name.
Interestingly enough, in his youth he had multiple lovers with whom he had seven illegitimate children he was barely there for, one divorce and a second marriage that is slowly festering with each passing day.
Sounds like he was some busy fellar XD
Sounds about right for the boomer generation
My dad already cheated on my mom what Legacy bro F that S*** I don't wanna deal with no family legacy and be my own person!
Your father is a bad human being, why would you even care what he thought about your lifestyle?
@@vernongrant3596 when you have only one parent in your life, their opinion of you matters that much. Believe it or not I connected more with my step mom and when she started to hate him too I realized just how toxic he was.
I never got married and never had children. As time advances, I am more and more convinced I made the right decision for myself and for the planet.
Definitely the right decision
same
I follow my nature. No partner, no family, no stress, no obligations, no troubles, no consessions. Freedom, serenity, Joy, goals, creativity, nature. I love it! 😊
I have all that and two sons.
and your life is of no consequence either...
You have failed in life. It’s okay.
What a bunch of douches on this comment thread.
@@matthewschiebout7384 Neither is yours.
I am a 50 year old woman who is happily not married . There isn’t one single married friend of mine, who doesn’t envy my life. I am successful, I am attractive. I have time to learn, read, grow , take care of my health and so many other things. I travel for a living and travel for leisure four times a year. I am truly happy. The common thing I hear from my married friends with kids is when their kids are grown they’re going to join me in my lifestyle. My own married sister is miserable with her kids and drowning in health issues that she’s not able to take care of because she’s working herself to death to take care of her house and kids while her deadbeat husband left her after 23 years of marriage. I respect the institution of marriage, but I knew from a very young age that it was not for me. Great video and thank you.
No need to put down people who chose to have children. Your personal anecdata proves nothing. I have 4 children who are grown, and am really happy in my life. I was never married, raised my kids into successful adults, own my own house and land, work and am healthy and fit. So my lifestyle is also great, and having 4 children did not prevent me from living it. Good luck to everyone who chooses the path that is right for them.
@@kidstuff44555 beautiful-happy for you . You wouldn’t know this, unless you’re a childless woman, but childless women are put down drastically in our society. This was the point of my story, and not to put you or anyone else with children down.
@@Busybeeee You're right. I wouldn't know your experience, only my own. I think women can't win if they care what society thinks. These days being a mother is often portrayed as a worthless or stupid decision too. Men are granted more leeway to be respected in their choices, but women are criticized whatever they do
For me, my freedom to chose what to do every day with my time without having obligations to children or even a partner is priceless. I will never give this up and I don‘t care anymore what others may think of how I live my life. If they use their time to think and debate about how others live their life, they are the ones using their time the wrong way. As long as you are not harming or taking advantage of others, you are free to live your life the way you want.
Dear Kushi
RIGHT ON!
EXACTLY!
DITTO!
❤ from a contented childless never married faded HippieChick. ✌ 😄
Most of the people I know who have chosen not to have children are the most thoughtful, intelligent people I know. Peterson doesn't know whry he is talking about.
That's been my experience to 😊
yeah i am shocked to hear him say such stupidity. Probably has some childhood trauma still.
You are the only person who can decide what's right for you. If you choose not to get married and have children, it's no one else's business. Your life, your choice.
Sure, and you're the one who'll live to suffer the consequences, that's true for any bad choice.
Except western countries are sort of pyramid schemes for social benefits so without kids expect a different quality of life when you are old if too many people dont have kids.
@@dannymoneywell Why is not having kids and not getting married a bad choice by default?
@@filerecovery5319 Because the world is a cold difficult place to thrive in even with a family and without one it's and even harder colder lonelier place where at the end of your natural life you will be alone and depending on strangers for everything, it's not that complex of a concept to grasp.
@@dannymoneywell
Having a family with kids does not guarantee that they will be there for you when you are old, or even care about you as is. Children leave their parents all the time, spouses leave their partners all the time. Besides, your kids could potentially not make it that far.
On the other side, having no partner or kids doesn't guarantee loneliness. You can have a social circle of people who care about you instead of strangers. You can also find companionship in other things that aren't tied to family. Can always take care of the elderly who aren't related to you, or have a pet.
My favourite is when I'M called selfish for NOT having children.
That's breeder "logic".
Use Anti-Natalism to defend yourself, lol.
To understand this you would have to examine who is calling you selfish. A parent who wants grandchildren? Some jerk on the internet? There’s usually a logical explanation for such a comment. And that motivation is going to be in the selfish interest of the person trying to shame you.
yeah it’s really fucking tedious lol
choosing to not have a kid due to health and environmental reasons is one of the most selfless things you can do
never pay attention to those kind of people, they’re insecure and projecting how they feel about themselves towards you
Selfish toward who??? Your non existent children? A society that's trying to exploit you and treat you like a baby factory?
"A child didn't ask to be here." I spend a lot of time thinking this since young age. I didn't ask to be born and I'm not happy. That's probably the reason I never wanted to bring a life into this world of suffering. Now nearly 60 and I cannot thank enough to be able to support the life I really enjoy, which is not much for many people, and not caring what others think about it. I learned overtime that the most important thing in life is if you are happy without thinking what others think of you. This video says it all. Thank you for another great video!
The problem with that statement is that you could have choosen to opt out of living at any point in time during those [nearly] 60 years, but you chose not to because no matter what terrible experiences you may have had, deep down you know that to be alive is better than to not be alive.
Not bringing children into this world is 100% your choice, but please don't paint it as some selfless act.
It's just my own view. I did not paint anyone's view with anything. I learned to appreciate living but I do not have attachment to it whatsoever. If I die tomorrow I wouldn't miss living at all. Here is my point. You would think I should have killed myself, but that is precisely the suffering I am talking about. Taking my own life will surely be an enormous physical suffering, wouldn't' it? I didn't have to think about that if I didn't live.
I do appreciate my mother for bringing me to this world, so I call her every year on my birthday to thank her for having me. Although she choose it herself, she suffered greatly when she gave birth to me. For that suffering, I respect her choice and try not to be a total waste for her.
I respect people's choice of how they live their lives or how they think, because I have no right to judge anyone's lives. And I hope other's don't judge mine as well.
I'm almost 43 years old and a single man. I've never been totally against marrying but I've always known it was optional, not mandatory. My family members have often been puzzled as to why I decided to opt out of marriage barring something extraordinary happening. However, I don't absolutely need a soulmate or children. What I do need is peace, tranquility and emotional balance in my life. I'll remain single if it means avoiding unnecessary drama.
Bingo!!!
I hear you dude. I never married or had children myself. Sounds like a lot of drama for sure 👽
U have good sense.
Fact is, life drags us to many places we can't predict. Sometimes we want children or marriage and we can't find it. Sometimes we have sex with a woman, she gets pregnant and we marry because now we have a responsibility whether we like it or not. So the best thing is to make peace with how our lives are going, either having more money and buying a car or a computer as a single man, or watching your child grow and deriving satisfaction from that. We choose less than we think, it's hard to wrestle our impulses, and it is hard to be either married or single, because the life we don't have seem alluring because we only focus on the good parts of it.
Most people don’t want kids though. They want sex. Once the kids show up then they want to take care of them. That’s how biology makes animals for the most part. In all of human history the vast majority of children were not planned and they are “wanted” after they show up. Now that we can decouple sex and reproduction the game changes.
Yeah, so many people here in the comments saying that they want this or that..... but what they fail to realise is that life has its own will, at one point you are here , in the next hour you are there
I’m perfectly happy being child free and never been married. I had girlfriends and made this clear to them. I enjoy traveling, buying my big boy toys and financially stable. I’ll be 50 yrs old in two months and have no regrets.
yet
@@lynnedavidson4772I’m 79 and I haven’t had regret yet 😱🤔😜🖕👀
@@lynnedavidson4772 if he hasn't had regrets "yet" he never will. Stop pushing your own insecurities on others.
@@lynnedavidson4772 why do you say so?
@@lynnedavidson4772dude is fifty, if he was to be regretful of that choice a decade ago it would already have bitten him
For me, life got much better when I learned to mind my own business and not try to mind others business. So, if I am to suggest something, it is - "Do what you think is best for you, and ignore the opinions of others".
Yup.
Or if on a bumper sticker.....
SUCCESS IS HAVING
YOUR OWN APPROVAL
Things that society depends upon should obligatory. No society can survive without kids. So you should delineate private business and public duty.
Same here. Whenever I made choices based on what I thought was best for me I was winning in life. Whenever I made choices based on opinions of others, my life was turning into a mess.
@@angelinasimon3513 Yes Ma'am. It was amazing when I started doing things for me first, and not others. Of course, the others got upset with it.
For me, as long as that involves causing no harm to others, I'm all for it.
Children are not retirement plans
I’m a 62 year old man. Was married at a young age. Tried to start a family, but no luck. At the time we were greatly disturbed by this, but here I sit nearly 40 years later, divorced and on my own and….strangely enough…..thankful I never had kids.
With age and maturity I came to realize that I was much better off childless. My life is less complicated, less expensive, and more free.
Loneliness? Nah. Not really a problem for me. I have enough friends and family relations as it is. Also, anytime I need to get out and rub shoulders with people I grab my wallet and my keys and off I go on a leisure activity like travel.
I am fully content and this man made a LOT of very good points on this video.
Parenthood is not for everyone. To each their own.
I'm close to 41 and happy that I made the decision to not have children. All my life, everyone has told me that I'd make a great dad, and yes, I agree. I did want children up until 6 years ago. I'm just glad it didn't happen when I wanted to be a father. I cherish my peace, tranquility, and free time way too much.
As a life long introvert, having all that drama, noise, constant eventfulness, never having worthwhile free time, loss of tons of money, constant worry about the well being of my loved ones, being social by force so my child/children can have healthy mentalities, etc...would be a nightmare.
I'm an awesome uncle & great uncle. That's more than enough for me. I just feel bad for my mom. I'm her only child, and she always wanted, and I admit, she deserves to be a grandmother. The only reason my choice bothers me, is because of my mother. She's been so great in my life, even as an adult. My decision robs her of the happiness she deserves 😢
True but I bet she wants to see you happy and having kids when you didn’t want too she wouldn’t want that for you
Well it ain’t over yet. You’re 41 not 71. Still can make babies.
Nah. Your decision is your decision. She’s not entitled to grandchildren.
How can you be an uncle if you have no siblings?
@@user-mb3dx3nn5c 🤔🤔🤔
Wow, THANK YOU! 58 years of questions, never married, no children for fear of being what I came from and knowing my existence was forced. You touched on many things! 🙏
I onced walked into a cabin in the woods where everyone carved their names into the walls and all the wooden furniture- thereby totally trashing the place. They did this so a physical manifestation of their presence would remain after they left the cabin. This sums up the primary motivation why most people have children.
That's such a stupid, primitive biological desire that should be trumped by logic.
People have children because we are biologically built by genes that are selfishly trying to continue to exist. The Selfish Gene by Dawkins. And the fields of evolutionary biology and psychology expound on all this. It’s basic biology. It’s not a conscious choice so much as an instinct for most people.
The more curious question is why people who have kids seem to want all the other 8 billion humans to do the same. Why would they care? This also has philosophical answers but beyond the scope of this comment.
Primitive biological desire yes, stupid well that would depend on your reason for the primitive behavior and if your allowing your biology and not your 'logic' to lead you@@normanosborn1277
Having children is and was a way for people to gratify their sexual desire in a socially acceptable way.
That's a bad comparison though. You'd have no complain about the people who built that cabin in the woods, thereby leaving a physical manifestation of their presence in a place that didn't have them before.
I myself find parallels between the cabin and childless people. A long line of ancestors tried their best to raise children and yet it ended with childless people because "life sucks". That's like the people who doesn't maintain the cabin passed down their family line and left it rotten and marked with graffiti.
I am a 32 year old father to a three year old. Life is much much harder ever since having a kid. It's unecessary hard.. If you want to have children and live like this fine, if not, that's fine too. There are enough humans on this earth... we are not facing an extinction problem
Growing old and not having anybody to help or take care of you would be even more problematic!
@@celpabedn how many people choose not to take care of their parents ?
A lot are in nursing homes. Not to mention how many people have bad relationships with their parents where they wouldn't even consider taking care of them?
I think its stupid to assume you get a caregiver when you have kids. Check out vivarium movie (2019) with Jesse Eisenberg. Pretty eye opening.
I had to take care of my grandma because her children (including my mom) didn’t want to. Advice from my grandma: don’t have kids
Sad and funny at the same time.
I'm not targetting your grandma per say but one can't draw conclusion on a single sample. I'd say it's not rare that grand parents may be way nicer with their grand children than they were with their own children (it's a 24/7 relationship, with grandchildren it's only from time to time).
The grand parents may also raise their childs like spoiled little brat who won't care in return, so if their kids don't care about them may partly be their fault.
Perfectly timed video for all those “why are you single”, “when are you getting married” and “when are you having kids” conversations that inevitably occur at this time of year!
😂😂😂 for real. I want to get married but not now and I'm not sure I want kids, most of the time I don't want.
Reminds me of a joke. "When i was younger and attended weddings of relatives the older ones would come up and say: you are next. When i started doing this at funerals they didnt find it funny anymore" :)
Solution: I don't talk to my relatives for years now and never will again.
@@mosuke5123😂😂😂
Are you okay??
Pain of being a non resident father for 15 years is slowly killing me. Don't have a child from someone you don't love. Don't!
What's non resident father mean? 😮
@@honor9lite1337 He doesn’t live in same state as his child.
No it means the child doesn’t live with you at your residence. The child lives at another residence hence the saying he is not the resident parent.
Then why did you do it? Did you not believe in love at that time or what?
This stated so poorly. The use of double negatives doesn’t help. What are you really saying here?
I'm a 40 year old woman. I'm not married and I don't have any children. As long as pain exists, I don't want to have children. There are human traffickers, pedophiles, rapists, users, abusers, and so many other forms of negativity and toxicity. So why would I want to bring a child in a world like this? These people who shame others for not wanting to have children are delusional and irresponsible. They don't say to be financially responsible, be healed in every aspect by seeking therapy and working on yourself, or anything like that. The message is just to have children. Not everyone desires to have children, and we have our reasons. Regardless of whatever reason, it doesn't make that person wrong or less than. As for the marriage thing, I'm definitely not against that. Sometimes people get married, and sometimes they don't, but let's not act like all marriages work out
I was 18 when I got married, she was 17. It was hard, I watched my friends all go to college while I slaved away in welding shops. That was 1990. We got through the tough times (first 5-7years) and made it work. Wasn’t easy. But worth it. My kids turned out great, my son went to Navy, married his girl now I have 4 wonderful grandkids. My daughter is now 30. She has chosen to not have kids or get married. I can see both sides of this. Extremes in both decisions. I love them both no matter what. Oh yeah, thought I would add, Money don’t make good parents guys.
Well done!
this feels like a tough life, well lived.
Money might not make you a better parent but drifting in their hand built drifting go-kart that their dad welded up for them will. You can't do that along with many other things without having some money to afford to buy good time with them.
You completely sold out and went for the money jugular ;) Welding payed a lot back then, more than PhDs today. Somewhere I heard you get 3x pay in military if you have a spouse. I'm amazed this is not taught in schools as a career path. With a spouse you get the following perks: 1) Basic Allowance for Housing (BAH), 2) Family Separation Allowance (FSA), 3) Tricare Health Insurance, 4) Basic Allowance for Subsistence (BAS), and Other Benefits: These can include access to military commissaries and exchanges, educational benefits, and recreational opportunities. Wow! I think people remain poor because they are kept in the dark via information asymmetry lol
Great interview on diary of a ceo with Chris Williamson.
Most men’s brains have been high jacked by their daily dose of online p@r.n hacking their drive to find a mate protect a family, strive for a purpose, be a steward of change from a sick society.
They justify with their higher brain like this enzweiler dude denying that their reptilian brain is being manipulated.
They participate in the womanly world of talk more than action as they have been programmed for fear. Fear of rejection, fear of failure, fear of not being important enough, so they smile weed to cope.
Men are becoming so feminized by society by their inability to see, it’s not about choice…the choice is gone. Addicts only have the choice to get help on order to stop. Most can’t handle the pain so they will fail and go back into comfort.
The men that do, will be looked up to as something special when they just actually unplugged from the matrix of brain hacking done by experts of addiction.
There's one thing that parents and non parents agree on- they both feel sorry for each other
yet parents also feel sorry for themselves too, because modern parenting makes you into a slave of the society you live in.
EXCELLENT comment
Well ; I disagree to some extent !!! My husband & I would love to have children of our own ; we are financially stable with very good solid careers & good jobs but Unfortunately due to medical conditions beyond our control even with IVF; have been unsuccessful 🥲🥲🥲. I look @ couples with children 👦 & really wish I could be in their shoes . We’re not jealous or envious; We just wish we could have a family of our own as well . So I wouldn’t say All Parents & Non parents feel sorry for each other ; May be just some !!! I know Parenting is very challenging but most loving couples eventually figure it out & raise able bodied & responsible children !!! I still hope we get that Opportunity God willing🙏🏿
He is the most inspiring person I have ever met, I listen to a lot of his stories. Those shares changed me a lot for the better when I heard those profound shares from him
Everybody have problems and miscommunications, its up to each individual to make an effort to maintain healthy relationships.
If you do not do or can not do it, then he is right, you are an lazy, selfish, dilutional or immature.
Good parents try to leave this world just a little better for their children and do not feel sorry for each other.
Family unit is a core of our civilization and current narrative and people like you is what will destroy it.
Fun fact, without families we as a species will cease to exist.
"I really don't fit in, even if I wanted to"
This hits home 😢
Jesus didnt "fit in" either.. Most genius's have almost no friends., Mensa is full of alcoholics. The ocean of humanity takes many forms
I feel the same. I invest so much, is it me
We all are self obsessed, self obsessed so much so that we don't even see the stupidity of this video creators statement: I would want to work on my goal instead of marriage and maybe make contribution to humanity. The problem is not this, but if 100% people followed your life path THERE WOULD NO HUMANITY BE LEFT. 😅
It always comes down to is whatever your doing in life can other people do it or not when they watch you, don't let other people fill up with contempt that they hate you also don't let them see you, truly mind your solitude.
@@words007first of all. All of the people never think the same.and also the creator of the video never mentioned like, this is the right thing to do. You're just finding an stupid excuse to justify your ideology.
@@words007 Watch the video ten times over and you might understand the essence. Not everyone has the skill of listening.
I agree with this video. My mother suffers from mental illness and my father was an abusive alcoholic. They should have never had children but they had 4 because they were being selfish. I never asked to come into this world. And since they didn't know how to raise children in a loving environment, I suffer from depression, anxiety and OCD. I made the decision years ago not to have children because of this. I also understand that bringing a child into this world is against their will. They might suffer from the same things that I have even if I gave them a loving and supportive environment. I wasn't willing to do that. I am so glad that I decided agaisnt having children. I'm not sad that I won't have anyone to visit me when I am older. I am excited that I will be able to do whatever I want when I am older without disappointing or relying on my children. I have true freedom of not having anyone that relies on me or I rely on.
Nice cat pic
I could never take life seriously. I've never wanted to follow the lifescript 1.0. The longer I live the more I'm convinced that it's best to just stay away from all the human-made drama altogether. Their insecurities, fragile egos, fear of death and controlling, needy nature are way too exhausting to deal with. I just want peace and quiet, nothing else.
I understand these all...yet can't stop myself from being affected....what to do!! I seriously want to imply what I know... still i find myself stuck to things said to me or judgements passed on ... what's the way out!! I sincerely m asking
@@shraddyswift8206once you realize you are not your thoughts and emotions but just the vessel experiencing them you will become free. Learning to be the observer and not applying judgement to the thoughts that pass like clouds is a fundamental part in separating from the chains of the ego. I highly recommend Eckhart Tolle, Micheal Singer, and Mooji teachings to help better understand this concept. All the love and hope you can find freedom.
@@shraddyswift8206 When you observe your lingering thoughts and feelings you become above them. So acknowledge those worrying thoughts about those judgements and then say what you truly want. Did you know your mind shapes your reality? Billions of people want happiness and now he universe is showing us how, shape your thoughts.
@@shraddyswift8206 Know that a lot of us have to deal with the punching bag treatment unless you have privileges to deal with it less or not at all.
I was born to an abusive mother and a father who I rarely see because he is busy with work
My childhood was hell, there was no one to really care about me
I was bullied at school, beaten, and burned at home by my mother for no logical reason. In addition, I did not have any real friends. They were all toxic and exploitative.
This left me with a lot of scars as I grew older
I began to suffer from insomnia and anxiety most of the time, social phobia, in addition to self-loathing and depression. I always wonder: What did I do to deserve all this? I was just a crying, fragile little girl
All I want is to feel okay, that I'm good enough, and that I'm worthy of love
I really wonder why I didn't think about suicide at that time...
I grew up to become an introverted, isolated, and eccentric woman in the eyes of my family and others
I became cold, sarcastic, and indifferent to anything that happens to me in this life. Even death doesn't scare me anymore.
I think the three best things that have ever happened to me in this cruel world
My silly cat, Leon, and my best friend, Lian. I also joined nursing. I did not find nursing suited me at first, but now I believe that I was truly created to be there. I was created to take care of others.
I remember that one time brought tears to my eyes when a patient told me while smiling that although I appear to be a cold-hearted woman, I really have the heart of a caring angel.
This hit me hard and I was truly touched by his words
I am now single and have decided to remain so. I find marriage and having children to be optional and not compulsory as society and those close to us impose on us.
My mother pressured me to marry a lot because many people proposed to me for marriage, but I refused. She told me that I would be alone and that no one would care about me, and that I would die and rot alone.
I don't know why I laughed at the time, I found it really ridiculous
But I was always alone, mom. What has changed now?
I'm so used to being like that anyway that even the presence of other people doesn't make me feel comfortable
I would rather be like this than have a child exposed to neglect, violence, and bullying, as happened to me
A child is in pain and never stops asking what he did wrong, mom
I decided to remain single, I am really happy
I have my cat and my books and I play the piano and watch the stars and my blue flowers
I play chess with my best friend every Friday
I have nursing, philosophy and psychology and I didn't really feel like it
This happy before
Also, as I said, the matter differs from one person to another. The decision in the end is up to you, whether you want to get married and have children or remain single. Just do not let anyone determine that except you, because no one understands you except you.
Write a book may be
Search antinatalism
You had a bad childhood,but you lived through it and that horrible experience formed you as you are now, plus you didn't let other people's perception dictate your life,good things will come now, the worst has passed,good luck:)
Join to a humanist association or be a volunteer in something. Or better: work helping animals. Thats gonna makes you feel so good.
"To bear children into this world is like carrying wood to a burning house.”
― Peter Wessel Zapffe
That is a good one!
Yeah...don't give me that "biological imperative" nonsense. The world is ON FIRE right now. No place for new life until WE are ready to put the fire out and I see ZERO evidence.
Ohh this said everything 🙏
Sad but true.
My main man PWZ.
I'm 43 and do not have or want kids, marriage. Saying no to "social norms" is very beneficial too.
I was born to be a mother. My kids are my world. This has made me realise that too many people are having children who really don't have the maternal instincts and would rather be doing something else. Having children is only for those who truly want kids. There are too many unloved kids/people who have mental illness due to knowing they were not really loved and wanted. Just watch Soft White Underbelly to see what I mean.
What you've expressed above is one of the most mature opinions I've ever encountered.🖖👍
I wasn't loved as a child. Beaten and mentally abused. Still struggling sometimes and I am 61. Don't get me wrong. I think kids are wonderful and probably they are sometimes not so wonderful. I always thought I might be horrible to my kids too and rather have none. I am glad I don't have kids. But I am very glad that children like me. I am very kind to kids.
❤ so true
God bless you, but to each its own.... its all about loving your own situation.....
Loving Mothers always seem to have the absolute purest reasoning and acceptance. I’m patiently waiting for humanity to allow loving mothers lead us to heal…again-thank you
As a sufferer of mental illness, I am in the camp of those who believe that having children is too much for us to handle. In my twenties, I was naïve and just assumed that I would one day find my soulmate and have children. But after countless rejections and going through a brief but terrible marriage, I experienced a mental breakdown and have never fully recovered. MDD and chronic anxiety prevents me from being "normal" - whatever that means. I don't have the luxury of ignorance. My existential crisis is profound. I'm not asking for sympathy, I'm trying to take it day by day and not let it my depression take my life. Hopefully some day science will find a cure for depression.
Have you tried sustained, regular exercise and wildly reducing processed foods? I deal with depression but these two things help me a ton; maybe they'll help you, too.
Thanks for sharing, stay strong and to hell with people who judge you.
Lots of pharma products are poison. LARIAM the anti malarial drug screwed me up with depression for years.
I do not take pharma products now.
MDD is tough. Like a shadow that never leaves you, completely. I hope you have adequate coping skills. Exercise is a good one. Find a purpose to continue each day, no matter how difficult. Don't ever lose your purpose.
I hope life gets better. Miracles can happen especially if you go looking for them.
As a therapist who has extensive experience working in child protection and with victims of domestic violence, I applaud those who know themselves well enough to make a conscious choice and the courage and intelligence not to cave in to social pressure.
Courage and intelligence... not to help renewing their country's population.
Quite negative, despite said people judging themselves not to be parent-material.
@@Briselanceshut up
it's not about that. it's an issue of demographic. the least productive and stable people are breeding the most. the most intelligent and rational people are not. the current ecology is also not conducive to growth and reproduction. the empire must downsize and a lot of people have to displace or disappear by other means for there to be a renewed period of rising birthrate. in other words, there are no good environments left for intelligent people to begin families. the left saw to that.
@Briselance so you would like children to have parents who aren’t fully invested in them because they only did it to “keep the population up” and for the children to have multiple issues because of it?
@@Briselance This planet already has what, about 9 billion people now? Are you saying there aren't enough people already? India is half the size of the U.S. and yet felt the need to inflate its population to a full billion more than that of the U.S.! What have the rewards been?
- no improvement in the country's standard of living
- a million people per year dying of air pollution
- 5-6 figures of people per year dying of snakebite
- mass emigration to other countries
Other wonderful Third World economic write-offs include Bangladesh (half the population of the U.S., but twice the size of Iowa), Philippines, Nigeria, Indonesia, etc.
It's mostly jealousy. Marriage and having kids is like a mandatory job to some people, and when someone comes along and says, "Naw, I'm happy, single and don't want marriage or kids," they lose their mind like you're cheating through life. That's when they hit you with the, "You'll die alone!" Everyone dies alone. "No one will be around to take care of you!" Your children are living their lives, let them be and get into an old folks home.
There are too many unwanted kids already in this brutal world - we don't need more.
In my life, it's my mom that keeps saying these things..I am 33 now...and it's like she won't let me live alone untill I get married..I know where she is coming from...she might be thinking it is such a crazy world, and I, her daughter would need someone who can be there for me when needed but I keep telling her that I would be fine alone..she just won't listen...
I found out that being ALONE is probably the best thing that happened me. Wasn't on purpose, but it's just the way it is..
Same, it felt like it was not my own decision, as a 47 year old male women just don’t feel attracted to me so I have been single and dateless my whole life. I’m also at the point now that I think it’s Best thing that happened to me.
@@koningkoe I'm a 44F and would happily date a man your age (45-50) is my preferred age range. All the men I find in this age range are either divorced with kids or still banging on about wanting them. 🙄. I really don't want kids!! You sound great! 😅
@@Kittygirl88851 I am great, people like my personality generally. the problem is that I have a partially deformed face that can't be corrected by surgery so that's the reason I wouldn't find any woman that wanted to give me a chance and I certaintly won't blame them. I fully understand why women ignore me I would probably do the same if I was a woman.
Even though i'm deformed there some men out there that are deformed as well and they did find love, but I was not that fortunate sadly.
I enjoy being alone but I someimes feel sad that skipped everything in life but i'm happy that i'm still alive.
I am 60 years old, and never had children and I am not married. I am perfectly happy and have no regrets in my decisions to walk a different path.!
only 60 years old
still so young and immature
once you hit 63 you will surely change your mind!
Ecclesiastes 4:2-3 GNT
"I envy those who are dead and gone; they are better off than those who are still alive. But better off than either are those who have never been born, who have never seen the injustice that goes on in this world." Rock of Ages
"Traditional wisdom is often long on tradition and short on wisdom."
Warren Buffett, businessman investor
"Hope in reality is the worst of all evils because it prolongs the torments of man"
F. Nietzsche. "laughing lion" for the ages
“It would be better if there were nothing. Since there is more pain than pleasure on earth, every satisfaction is only transitory, creating new desires and new distresses, and the agony of the devoured animal is always far greater than the pleasure of the devourer”
― Arthur Schopenhauer
@@SuspiriaX you are not funny
@@qdpqbp so married ppl do not watch youtube SO YOU ARE HERE QZ YOU FEEL LONELY HAHAHAA POOR ONE GO TALK TO WALL MAYBE U GET FEELINF LESS LONLEY HHHHHHHHH
im happy for you.
I'm 41, divorced with no kids, not religious and couldn't be happier. I don't date, I no longer desire to be in a relationship and don't currently have pets. Anytime I aspired to be what society wanted me to be, I was miserable. I may have mental health struggles and brain problems to contend with, but I'm happier in life than I ever have been before. I live a very peaceful life where I can pretty much do whatever I want and I would never go back to the life society wants me to live.
While this might sound conspiratorial (growing up in a cult like Mormonism will tend to do that)
An idea Started to form in my twenties, is that they want to sell you something that makes you deeply miserable, yet market as the be all end all of happiness, so that you are so busy trying to figure out why you are so unhappy that you simply are unable to see that your being robbed for essentially no reason. The text book example of this is the car. So many people are maddingly depressed when driving, their health suffers, yet they are told not only that it's necessary, but that it's "freedom".
Meanwhile cars get bigger, the loans get bigger, and the people get bigger, all without understanding that literally the person in Amsterdam is healthier, wealthier and happier BECAUSE they don't own a car.
@@ethanstump I would argue that cars can be a great time IF you have the wealth to maintain them, and you live in a place with low traffic. As for the average American consumer...well...they get sold a bill of goods and stay miserable as a result of it. The McMansion, the SUV, the long stressful high traffic commuting, all of it is a garbage lifestyle. I went a different path and am far happier for it.
Do you have to pay her any alimony, though? Not sure if it still applies if you didn't have kids.
@@LLS710 No, I have never been made by the court to pay alimony.
@@Ziegfried82 that's the thing though, is that car manufacturers specifically lobbied the government during the world wars NOT to be labeled as luxury goods. i personally would've loved if cars had remained the domain of the rich, but the rich specifically did not want that to be so.
When I was young, I wanted to go to college, I wanted to be a flight attendant, I wanted to live in Hawaii. None of that happened after I got pregnant. After my girls were grown and moved out, I jetted to the southern US and enrolled in college and went to New Orleans with various friends. I got involved in photography and theater. I never finished my degree (it was kinda dumb)…and now I look ahead towards my future. I no longer listen to anyone who tells me what I need to do. I do what I want, when and how I want to do it. My point is, never listen when other people tell you how to live out your life. As far as we know, we only get one life (unless you are Buddhist or something) so make it YOUR best life. ❤
Putting up with my mother telling us constantly for 16 years (before she left) that every problem in her life, and the reason she was so angry and miserable all the time, was because of 'you bloody kids!' put me and both my brothers right off the idea of being that miserable 🤷♂
Way to end your genetic line mum! 🤦♂
I know exactly what you mean. But I had children late in life, largely because my wife wouldn’t have it any other way. I have changed radically for the better. Yes it has been near-limitless stress, but the change was worth it all.
Its all perspective. Ur mum was to busy looking backwards to look forwards. You can avoid that mistake.
@@Elemblue2 That's a good point but I've got two motorbikes that need looking after now and I'd probably have to stop riding if I had kids coz I really suck at it 😂
@@LiminalLion Thanks for your reply. They’re adults now. One is severely autistic, and mentally at the level of a nonverbal 3 year old. It has been and continues to be gruelling right into my 70’s. But yes it has changed me for the better as a person.
That sounds like a 'her' problem. No reason why you would have the same hangup.
I… don’t know what to say. This video came at the PERFECT time for me. I’ve always thought I was weird for wanting to remain single and childless.
But I look through the comments, and I see a whole community of people who feel the same way. ❤
Life isn’t a checklist made by other people. Life is an experience determined solely by you.
I'm feeling like I've found my tribe in these comments❤ Peace ✌️
Well, the only thing I can say about Dr. P scathing opinion in the beginning is this.
*That is the typical comment I would expect from a condescending, pretentious, sophistic, baby boomer*
yes, the majority of their generation are fooked up ppl, insomuch that they had lived life on easy mode while all subsequent generations had continued deteriorating conditions.
Life isn’t a checklist made by other people - you are so right!
Damn straight
You're definitely not weird! I'm 40, single, no children, never been married, have a successful career, focus on my passions and self development and very happy in the process 😊
All I know is that I have six brothers who all have kids and are broke and unhappy. I chose not to have kids. I have a high six figure income, I have traveled the world and now at 57 I am very happy with my life. If that is immature, I will take it. Thank you for this video.
Are you saying your brothers are all broke and unhappy because they have children? I am single with no children, but my five siblings all have children. Only one is broke, but they are all relatively happy. Life and attitude is what you make of it.
I'm right there in the same boat. And +1 for Route 66, I grew up along that in one of the small towns 😁 I have lived in Italy and Liberia, Africa and have seen and experienced so many amazing things. Also made friends around the world and helped some of them attend and graduate from college. We've truly done well, brother!
When I was pretty young my mom told me "someday you'll have a pain in the ass just like you running around and you'll understand." I replied "nope." I think about that moment fairly regularly. I've stuck to it. I sometimes feel kind of bad because I know for sure she'd love some grandchildren, but bringing a child into this world just seems cruel. Not to mention that in America it's a one way ticket to poverty. The energy that I would spend raising kids, I hope, is being used to advance society in other areas.
❤ brilliant 😊
There is not even a need to advance society. Most people don't. Many people can't, even if they would like to. But it is not their fault. There is nothing wrong with just living your life without these thoughts of doing something for society. We are not ants.
Yeah we pretty much are wanting more wage slaves to ''contribute to society''. Its BS, I rather be on a stranded island than be in this shithole. Everyone is an opportunist, looking to make some money from you. Nothing in these modern societies is free. People can't even build their own shit because the government owns the land.
If I could just pack up find a off the grid area and build my own shit I would. However at some point someone will find it, government will tear that shit down and tell me I have to leave because they own it or theres some law preventing me from occupying the space. Maybe thats why survival skills aren't taught in school, keep people locked in to society.
I'm happy you don't fit in anywhere else. Because of it you created a place for others like you, to fit in. Thank you so much for your videos. ❤
Allow me to say...loudly....DITTO!!
well said
A quote I heard somewhere: "It's better to regret not having children than to regret having them."
I’m going to use that one
In this day and age having children is made as difficult as possible and once you do have them, as miserable as possible, by design.
It's all by design. We don't have overpopulation.
Ok, sure. But I highly doubt most people regret having children. Almost NONE, in fact.
Absolutely! That’s my general response to those who say I’ll regret my decision not to have kids.
I was surprised by that statement. Usually, the choice of not having kids is very difficult. It can come from trauma, but most of the time, it requires a very deep knowledge of yourself. When everyone goes one way, you need to know all the reasons why you're going in the opposite direction. That's definitely maturity, in my opinion.
Nah, not anymore than the people "going one way" need to know all the reasons they're going in that direction. You could flip a coin to make your decision
It has longer been viable to get married or raise a family in our current western society. I was a Peace Corps Volunteer in Morocco in the late '90s. Having grown up in NYC, it was strange to be suddenly living in a culture where the larger community behaves as if they have a stake in YOUR life. I was in a small town a few miles outside the provincial capital. My landlord's family expected to have me over for dinner once a week, as did my boss and several faculty colleagues at the local school I worked. If a married couple in our building was overheard arguing the previous day, the landlord and neighbors would visit, intervene, stick noses in, and offer suggestions/solutions. Everyone keeping tabs on each other, sometimes annoyingly, but basically to make sure nobody in the community is lonely, having issues or problems (not even me- the weird Foreigner!), if there's a problem, everyone chips in the solve it, to relieve the stress.. It was so strange to be living in a society or community that not only "talks" about supporting marriage, but "actively" supported it through actions. In America, let's be honest, we ACTIVELY sabotage marriage! Bored? Unfulfilled? Your spouse pissed you off today? DIVORCE NOW! I realized that I could ONLY get married if I were living in such a community, where the entire village has a stake your marriage succeeding. You cannot do it alone! Definitely NOT in New York City, where nobody gives an #&% about you or your wife, and YOU don't give an &%$ about your neighbors (until they're on the local 6pm News!!). A much older Peace Corps Volunteer in his 70s told me that once upon a time, what I was seeing in my Moroccan town, existed in the USA pre-WW1.
Yeah. Mr Peterson was unwittingly projecting when he called us “delusional”. IMHO delusional is to take a look at the state of marriage, knowing full well that the odds are against you, and still go through with it.
I personally have 0 trauma and have amazing parents. I just don't want kids
@@juniorjames7076 While there's a lot of truth to that, I think it's also important to point out that some marriages are innately bad and will never be fixed by the community's efforts to "help." So in these cases, the community can be toxic. It will sometimes force the continuation of a toxic marriage. This is dangerous and it destroys lives. There have always been plenty of miserable, unhappy marriages throughout history. (That was the case in USA pre-WW1 and I guarantee you that there were such couples in that Moroccan town.) The couple remained married because they had no choice. The community would not let them divorce. They had to wait until death did them part in silent misery. They would have children because they had no real choice. It was demanded by their families, by society and God. This is of course a major point that lowlife Jordan Peterson conveniently leaves out when peddling his propaganda. Also, our ancestors had little in the way of birth control, which is the second BIG elephant in the room that Jordan Peterson does not like to address, either. "Were your ancestors wrong to have children?" The moron acts like people had a choice.
The truth is:
If you marry and have kids you most probably will have a sad life due to the chore and lack of freedom.
If you dont marry and not have kids probably will have a sad life due to the loneliness and lack of purpose.
We always miss what we dont have.
You might miss what you wanted but you don't have, but you will never miss what you never wanted in the first place.
I don’t have kids or a partner and don’t plan to. But my life is actually very active and fun. I get to travel and have tons of hobbies. And if I’m bored of my job I can just try another one. I make tones of friends along the way.
I don’t get lonely when I’m on my own. Because I like being on my own.
As for “purpose”. That’s just a word made up by people who want you to be a tool in the big oppressive machine called society.
@@CactusCowboyDanindeed.
As well more (baby) cashcows for the government.
43 and so happy I never got married or had kids.
I still live alone and wouldn't have it any other way.
Nothing wrong with marriage and kids, but that lifestyle just isn't for me.
I love my solitude.
Being around people for too long stresses me out.
Exactly… so many couples start the most random and idiotic “fights” between eachother, about the most pointless of things. I swear, my parents also even in their 60’s will get into screaming matches about the dumbest and most pointless of things. They both instigate them with me also, whenever I come over. Which is why I stay away. I enjoy my peace and comfort of being alone. Something is just inherently wrong about this human society. Working in the ER at Kaiser Permanente for the last 15 years also just goes to show just how many useless, brainless and attention seeking (which they aren’t getting in their own lives) miserable people there are in our society.
That’s good. You have another 43 years of that solitude to go so it’s good you enjoy it.
@@tomfree-man5096 How you know he is going to live another 43 years more?
Yeah, right there with ya. Give me my solitude. Went to a High School reunion. Every husband there was griping about the wife and the single ones were care free. Go figure.
@dennisdjy Yeah, my girlfriend knows I'll never marry her, have kids with her, or move in with her.
She says she's cool with it, and she gives me the space I need so I have a good arrangement so far.
Great video. Another thing I really hate is when I tell people that I don't want to get married or have children, I get the response, "You don't know that for sure. Maybe you haven't met the right person." I've even had people double down when I've repeated it and said, "No, I really don't want those things." It's almost as if it blows their minds that a person could never want that, or that the person must be unhappy.
Yeah, a lot of people really lack imagination. And any man who wants to get married in today's culture needs to get his brain checked.
They are simply projecting their anxiety on you, by gaslighting you.
The hard part in life is to figure things out on your own. Finding out by trail and error what your « core values» are. But when you do, you gain real confidence. And autentisity.
@@Ikaros23everyone have their own reality and base everything on that, no one can peek another person reality. So we are always projecting.
Definitely walking an “unconventional path..” Always felt I was on the outside looking in on society!
Thank you for sharing 🙏🏾😊
For all those souls out here battling themselves wondering why they are having the thoughts & feelings that do not match up with societal “conventions”...💞
We are building a new, sustainable society based on logic and reason instead of being brainwashed by what most see as tradition but is really just a program🎉👀🎯
@@jen-cy6wj I hope you're right but recent events don't give me much, tbh.🫤
Whatever my ancestors did, it stops here.
Haha. Yeah I can give 2 shits about continuing my bloodline. Why would I bring the burden of life on anybody after my disdain for it. I'll die happy knowing I didn't reproduce. I don't care if its a dealbreaker in a relationship.
I can't thank you enough for how you and your content introduced me to a fresh way of thinking and living. I found this channel back in 2022 while I was going through a really difficult phase of my life and didn't know which way to head. Einzelgänger will always hold a special place in my heart. I am truly thankful. ❤
I agree what a blessing he is. I like to pass on the Christian audiobooks and sermons channel.
I found Einzelgänger in 2022 as well. I have bought all of his book and they are very helpfull.
@@brotto3145 truly!
@@LeeAdrian777 there's a lot to learn and unlearn
I am 71, never married. Sometimes I do regret not having any children, at least none that I know of. But I've enjoyed life it's been an adventure and looking forward to the rest of this adventure
Admirable honesty about regretting not having kids but nonetheless having enjoyed life and looking forward to the rest of life. I feel similarly, it’s not black and white for me!
A wise man once told me. "There are three rings that comes with marriage, first is the engagement ring, second is the wedding ring, and the third one is called suffering." So make sure you dive into it with your eyes open.
So so true
That's a nice one😂
Ring(s) a bell. 😂
its a castity ring or something?
"Youre supposed to marry."
"Says who? Some guy in youtube?"
Haha that cracks me up! 😂
Haha😂😂😂
My parents fought constantly so I never wanted to risk replicating that scenario in my life. As I grew up my friends were getting divorced and having to pay child support. Just seems like more reasons to avoid it than not.
Yeah same here, they simply never stopped fighting, day & night, 24/7/365. I'm born 1960, parents circa 1930. I do see it as a blue collar, 10th grade educated, greatest / silent gen thing, everyone I knew as a kid, friends & family, same thing - totally abusive parents, to each other, to their kids. I had to get away from my parents when I went away to college, managed to live on my own from then on. Even coming home to visit for a day or 2, right back to the constant fighting, over the same old stupid trivial things for decades, every day, it would trigger feelings of extreme anxiety & depression - later on I figured out I literally have PTSD about my entire childhood, especially family gatherings & holidays, I still have PTSD about Christmas season, need to stay home alone all of December. Sad.
@@sideshowbob It sounds like you grew up in a warzone. Not surprised you have PTSD. My sympathies.
Same here.
@@sideshowbob WTF YOU "STAYING HOME ALONE" ALL DECEMBER IS 90% OF PEOPLE ARE AT HOME ALONE TROUGH MOST OF THE MONTH YOU CLOWN
A 50% divorce rate and that means hefty child support payments and a loss of your assets. Doesn't seem like very good odds. Not sure why anyone would even risk getting into that situation.
I can't appreciate this video enough. Whenever I talk about how having children can be selfish, others look at me like I'm crazy and selfish. I'm not, I've just been able to see past the fairytale we've been sold.
Indeed, being a _good_ parent precludes selfishness while mere reproduction or the desire to do so does not indicate virtue. I've known terribly selfish parents who scarred their children for life. These were regular people whom others would say of them things like "she's so sweet."
It's best to not mingle with light headed and deluded individuals
I am almost seventy. As a child, I experienced abuse and poverty. I decided then that when I grew up I would enjoy life and remain free of family. I have never regretted it. I couldn't imagine me any other way. My long marriage ended with my husband leaving me in poverty so I do wish I had avoided marriage too. I am alone, most everyone has passed but I have my wonderful pets. I live in the woods. I am at peace. I was demonized by society for not wanting children. Society feels threatened by those of us who walk a different path. I love difference and diversity. Kindness is my religion. I don't fit in anyone's box. The road less traveled is always the most interesting one. Live and let live. I do have my opinions though and Jordan Peterson is someone to avoid!
I'm almost 60. Never married, though I had a partner for 28 years till he died. Some of it was really good, some really bad.
I always knew I never wanted children and have only ever had one person question that. I don't feel demonised, that's possibly reflective of the wider society we live in.
Peterstone can come out with some good stuff, but when he talks in absolutes as he does in that clip, it becomes a judgemental diatribe instead of a nuanced exploration of human nature
The road less traveled actually a book by m. scott peck.
I was also shocked by Jordan’s statement, I thought he was smarter than that
He's clearly not that smart. @@sy_dianne5224
@@sy_dianne5224 He's making a blanket statement in a specific context that has been clipped for media soundbites. He's not making a moral judgement about all people, he's just talking about what makes people happy in general and what is good for society in general. He wouldn't have a problem with someone living a humble life of solitude if that's what makes them happy.
He would, rightfully, I think, have a problem with someone trying to promote a lifestyle of single childlessness to those who would not benefit from it, while simultaneously feeling entitled to the fruits of a society that requires a steady supply of children (i.e, a next generation) to function.
Who can afford children ? Maybe we just dont want to raise kids in poverty?
Exactly 💯
That's the idea.
the idea is staying in competition alone until everyone dies off eventually one way or another and if that means compromising competition until your death we'll then be it.
I lived a miserable married life for 5+ years, had to sacrifice all my happiness so that my (then) husband and in-laws would be happy, and all I received in return was ridicule and cruel words. I found peace for the first time in several years once I finally decided to walk away. I was literally in rags by then, and had to start from scratch and work very hard to get to where I am now - have a decent job, and enough money saved up once every 2 or 3 months and travel as often as I can, which makes life feel wonderful! And I thank God often for having a child-free life!
Being childfree is a life choice and is as valid as having kids. It has good things and bad things and you have to deal with the consecuences of both choices. As a childfree married woman, I feel as normal and happy as the next person 🤸♀️
I haven't found anything bad about being child free. I actually adopted out , my only born child. That is how much I never wanted to be a mom. 😏 I gave her everything I couldn't. Anyway I digress....I'm 53, most likely I'll be living with my girlfriends drinking wine and playing in the sun! Heck yes!!
Congratz on your marriage! Hopefully you two stay childfree and happy 💕
@@spacenerd9499Well for one, you have to deal with the stigma that comes with not having something in common with your peers.
@@Raebrained Thank you!! we will! hehe I'm almost 50 and my husband is 53, this year we arrived at 20 years together 🤩 we are very happy
@@comforth3898 sounds like a small price to pay for happiness
I am a Christian, 60 now, a lifelong bachelor; never missed having a family. Very happy & healthy (indeed, people think I'm 40). No conflict with my faith either: nowhere in the New Testament does it say that you _must_ have kids. I see my friends-with-families live in a constant state of worry & anxiety. While I'm free to travel the world & read 40-60 books a year.
I am 56, with Christian leanings, and also a lifelong bachelor. I have enjoyed being able to sleep in on the weekends and not having my sleep cut short by the racket of little feet. I also enjoy the freedom to kick back and watch sports, or as you do, read a number of books. Lately, I find myself really getting into some of the old Time-Life book series, like 'Time Frame' or 'Mysteries of the Unknown'. Then there is my chess library of over 60 books. These help keep the mind in general sharp, as well as my game!
I am not totally withdrawn from society, though. I work full time. I'm a curler, a folk dancer and perform on stage with the troupe for various events, I hunt upland game birds in the autumn, and I play some classic arcade video games on my PC. Unwelcomed in my life are alcoholism, drugs and pornography. I have my hobbies and I have my principles. Most importantly, I have my peace of mind, and I'm sure as hell not going to throw it away on a woman I don't even want to be seen in public with....just because some miserable people think I should!
you value peace and thats WONDERFUL
I assume you use your greater free time to serve the Lord specifically: He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord - 1 Corinthian 7:32
Notice how everyone that says they are more happy because they fill their days with materialistic nonsense?
What happens in 20 years when you are old, sick and alone? With no one to take care of you? With no legacy to pass on, and zero purpose for living at that point?
As a 40 year old man thats single and childless; I get alot of pressure from my father to have a family. He doesnt understand that times are different, times are tough, and for me personally, I feel like having a family and raising children seems too stressful and financially draining.
Listen to your voice, forget what the world says
Ironaically, those who are more responsible and cautious don't have kids, while the crappy people tend to have kids nowadays. Of course, it doesn't help that the government steals from those who are productive to support those who are not making it more financial difficult for more responsible people to have a family
At your age it's not worth the risk. Divorce is always a possibility and trying to rebuild your life at say 50-54 would be a huge undertaking. Also at your age and likely your spouse the chances of having a special needs child is greatly increased. I have three kids with my wife and my middle child is non verbal autistic. The mentality of a toddler perpetually. She has a family history of bi polar, schizophrenia and other things. I work away from home for extended periods of time otherwise we would already be divorced. In all likelihood we still will be as it has become undeniable that she cannot get along with anyone for long no matter whom it is. As the great Robin Williams put it. Being alone is not the worst thing In the world, being in a relationship with someone and yet still feeling alone is
High divorce rates and you lose most of what you've worked for, hefty child support payments. Stay single and wake up every morning smiling and thankful for your freedom.
I just got back from the wedding of one of my best friends. Everyone was either married or having their first or second baby. While I was just there having fun and being amazed by the adult lives of people I once knew young, my celibacy was bothering everyone, turning it into a pity towards me. The thing is that their lives seemed so sad to me. They got married because of fear to end up alone so they accepted a very average life giving up themselves. But no one told me how happy they were to actually get married and have kids. Everything seemed so precarious, that got back home being even more uninterested in marriage.
Labeling it an average life is a personal perspective of yours. Based on personal experience so far. For that moment in time they might not seem happy but it could be they find or have a greater joy in life that you do
@@michaelc1063 absolutely, I should’ve warned you that I’m not speaking from budha’s perspective but mine haha.
Remember the old joke. Are you married or happy?
Only one person I know from my early days is still in a relationship with their original partner. The trail of divorces, genuinely bitter acrimony, the weaponisation of children etc has been sobering to witness. The older one gets, the more you see how unsuited a lot of people are in long-term relationships.
Not everyone marries out of "fear".
My father has literally told me to my face that by NOT having kids, I haven't served my purpose as God intended. Part of me not wanting to have kids was caused by my father's upbringing, he was one of the most abusive dad's in our neighborhood when I was growin up & I honestly was scared that IF I ever had a child, I might turn out to be like him as a parent...
He’s right 😂 if you’re Christian.
I hope you told him that.
Should've asked him if abusing you served god's purpose intended for him.
Easy for him to say.. he doesnt have to go through pregnancy, labor and taking care of the baby.. gosh
I find it arrogant of him to presume to know God's purpose.
I'm at my 40s, a woman, single, never had any relationships. Sometimes, when I listened to Jordan Peterson, it kind of makes me sad, like I asked myself: was there something wrong with me? Was I not feminine enogh or was I screwed up so much? I am an introvert. I have tried to make a relationship work once. But, I found it did not work. I find that marriage is not for everyone and it's okay.
I am almost jealous. You spared yourself a lot of shit for sure.
"sometimes I listen to Jordan Peterson"
... there that is your mistake
Peterson's "philosophy" is for dummies, the truths of everyone's life are precisely in each individual.
Honestly, there is something wrong if you’ve never had any relationships
It sounds like you may have other stuff or other issues going on….. but either way, it’s your life….. and if you’re happy , then that’s all that matters
im 25 and have no plans of having kids or getting married or having a gf. I love my single life to much