Change your Life in 3 Steps | Re-Write your Story through Narrative Identity - Shadé Zahrai

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  • Опубліковано 12 чер 2024
  • What differentiates those who bounce back from hardship versus those who get stuck in a pit of despair? It often comes down to the story that they tell themselves about the situation.
    We construct our reality based on the stories we tell ourselves and others about our lives - it’s called ‘Narrative Identity’ (McAdams, 2018).
    People who believe their lives are meaningful tend to tell stories defined by growth, communion & hope - these are called ‘redemptive stories’. But those who aren’t able to move on and have ‘become’ their experiences tend to tell what’s called ‘contamination stories’, focussed on how difficult and tragic their lives are.
    Even making small story edits to our personal narratives has been found to have a huge impact on our lives.
    NOTE: This is not about trying to Ctrl + Z parts of your life. We’re not denying what’s happened to us, or trying to change the past - although sometimes that does seem far easier…
    What we ARE doing is changing the meaning we apply to events to change the story we tell. We’re redefining challenges as growth opportunities and finding hope in the despair.
    Because when you re-write your story, you upgrade your identity.
    When you upgrade your identity, you change your future.
    --------
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КОМЕНТАРІ • 392

  • @tovidominic3154
    @tovidominic3154 Рік тому +20

    My take: The story we tell/narrate about ourselves of the past define our perspective on life itself. Choose to remember and narrate positive incidents of yourself and others connected with you . Thank you lady

  • @khalidben9940
    @khalidben9940 Рік тому +46

    It is been an absolute pleasure having people like you with all this value.Thank you for the immense effort you put into this work.
    You are absolutely killing it and in top of that you give what really we want as individuals to understand and reshape our thinking.

    • @ShadeZahrai
      @ShadeZahrai  Рік тому +10

      Thank you Khalid, we're so glad that the content is of value!

  • @beckye8799
    @beckye8799 8 місяців тому +11

    I needed this today! Exactly what my husband and I were discussing. I complain, compare, negative, beat myself up, play victim, no purpose. I want to stop. I want to just be happy!

  • @masiursenglish9130
    @masiursenglish9130 Рік тому +49

    I am happy 100% with my life, though I don't have enough success to tell about, still I feel I didn’t do anything wrong to anybody in this world and could love everybody and could stublish myself at the same time as a singer and a teacher thus a youtuber.

  • @ashitshow1431
    @ashitshow1431 Рік тому +7

    This is exactly what i was needed this time ... I was feeling so low .. thinking I'm the most toxic person and i hurt everyone and want to relive everything to make things right ... but that's not how things work ... i can't relive but surely can rewrite my story in my head.... and use that for my growth ... I've learned alot and should feel take that as a win ... can't relate more to this ... Thank you for making my mind simpler an thoughtful

  • @ak-kx5jl
    @ak-kx5jl Рік тому +11

    Your videos are becoming so addictive. I listen to them everyday before going to bed and every morning once I wake up. This is more than something motivational. Your contents are awesome. You are a guiding stars for women like us out there. Thank you so much Shade 💓

  • @kasondaleigh
    @kasondaleigh 3 місяці тому +1

    Whenever I feel like my life is punishing me, I just try to think of myself in comparison to other victims and I see how lucky I really am. I haven’t watched my children starve to death, I don’t have to walk a mile for clean water and I haven’t been forced into a refugee camp. Things could always be MUCH worse and somehow reminding myself that other people have much more challenging issues everyday helps me remain grateful.

  • @adeebnasir6796
    @adeebnasir6796 Рік тому +3

    Thank you Shade! Your assistance to the mental health of this world is truly the work of a light being!

  • @kristinj6298
    @kristinj6298 Рік тому +3

    Thank you! This is exactly what I needed to hear. What was holding me back from believing I was worth more...everything. Re-write, re-frame and the future is renewed!

  • @friarpesel5646
    @friarpesel5646 Рік тому +20

    A potentially painful concept, beautifully and gently delivered. Thank you 🙏

  • @popoduck8309
    @popoduck8309 Рік тому +4

    I am grateful for these nine minutes that I spend on this video. Ty Shade

  • @Men_After_Gods_Heart
    @Men_After_Gods_Heart 8 місяців тому +3

    Every person darkside ot trauma is the most strong n creative n untapped resource part of his emotions, if channeled in the right positive course...its very effective

  • @Dryoussefaa
    @Dryoussefaa Рік тому +44

    Wow so many new notions and technical words.
    I used to think I am a word warrior, but after listening to this, I have to start learning my vocabulary from scratch.
    I will take this lesson and spread it around me.
    Lady you are proving again that we never stop learning.
    Thank you.

    • @haroldpooler8452
      @haroldpooler8452 Рік тому +1

      Yeah,I am the same way.I have a lot of pain in my left hip.

  • @AvecBella
    @AvecBella Рік тому +25

    Going through a transition right now. This comes at a right time…♥️❤️♥️

  • @DrPatrickKingsep
    @DrPatrickKingsep Рік тому +3

    Narrative Identity is a powerful resource for making life changes. We can all reflect on our self-talk and make changes if needed. Negative self talk can become a habit and we firstly need awareness to change it...

  • @ChallHatt
    @ChallHatt Рік тому +4

    This video is like a treasure for every person who is on the path of self improvement. Changing the narrative can really redefine our whole life and how we perceive it. Shadè you are amazing.

  • @srishtikannaujiya2050
    @srishtikannaujiya2050 Рік тому +2

    Good one ma'am 👍🏻
    I came across this concept for the first time.

  • @savedbyhisGrace7752
    @savedbyhisGrace7752 11 місяців тому +1

    I was very toxic, till I began to listen to helpful individuals like you.
    It's funny, we like to place ourselves as a victim,some times we do it to self or led ourselves into that very predicament and begin the stories.
    We all have had, failure, trauma, set backs. Instead of stepping back look from another set of eyes and beautiful mind.

  • @kandarpjoshi2961
    @kandarpjoshi2961 Рік тому +19

    Beautifully conceptualized.... Ultimately it is "interpretation" That matters..... This video could be life changing for many... Big thanks to you for helping contaminated lives .... 👍

  • @henrychang340
    @henrychang340 Рік тому +2

    A VERY well thought-out and structured episode on changing the stories we tell ourselves to change our lives. I deeply believe in this for quite some time.
    This is incredibly valuable for people. Thank you for sharing and helping people change their lives for the better, Shadé Zahrai!

  • @DC-fq6mv
    @DC-fq6mv Рік тому +9

    This video is exactly what I needed to see at this time. I was dwelling in a frustrated and contaminated mindset due to a challenge at work. While I have learned to pivot and see things differently, this really hit home and guided me to fully accept, rewrite and move forward. Thank you so much.

  • @juliahna4988
    @juliahna4988 9 місяців тому +3

    Thank you so much for this video. I feel like this is God’s touch for me to rewrite my story for the better. Thank you so much!!! ❤❤❤

  • @alexfinn7989
    @alexfinn7989 6 місяців тому +1

    I am so messed up and screwed up my life. I can’t let go and move on. It just leads to more pain and suffering.

  • @Swapna_Jeevithamastu
    @Swapna_Jeevithamastu Рік тому

    Thank you, great concept... adding an example would have been nice...👍

  • @chetankothmire6309
    @chetankothmire6309 Рік тому +1

    Shade you are truly changing Lives,No Words...
    Thank you from the Core of My Heart
    Your All Videos are Commendable & Thoughtful!
    Lots of Love & Keep up the Good Work!!!

  • @priyaranjan1970
    @priyaranjan1970 Рік тому +1

    I coped with my severe trauma the same way as you explained. And it transformed my thinking.

  • @ariefmperkasa6815
    @ariefmperkasa6815 Рік тому +1

    spot on, and more importantly it's timely for me! this differs constructive thinking, that allows further growth, from positive thinking, that tends to ignore what happens. many thanks Shadé

  • @dr.jacobjesurunr.s.5783
    @dr.jacobjesurunr.s.5783 Рік тому +6

    Thank you dear Shade for this amazing session! Lots to learn from this short yet highly impactful session! Thanks again.

  • @blueberrycake2027
    @blueberrycake2027 Рік тому +1

    Shadé, what a great sharing you gave to us. Yes, it's right, what we narrate ourselves is important, it shapes our minds, being more positive, happy or depressed. Thanks for ur sharing.

  • @analuciahenrique7739
    @analuciahenrique7739 Рік тому +2

    Thank you, Shadé! Very, very helpful. May the light you share always bless you!

    • @ShadeZahrai
      @ShadeZahrai  Рік тому +2

      You are so welcome Ana! Thank you for the kind words. 🙏🏽

  • @Abdelhadiisaid
    @Abdelhadiisaid 6 місяців тому

    Is this the best channel on youtube? Or it just came and hit me the right time?

  • @balraambalraam905
    @balraambalraam905 Рік тому +1

    I carry the attitude of gratitude with me every day the past is just a story we tell ourselves rarely do we think of the power we hold for ourselves as authors and narrator ❤

  • @siddu9698
    @siddu9698 Рік тому +1

    Concept is crafted in another level... It's opportunity to re write our story and to have spark to our perspective... Simply superb

  • @nikhilkumarsingh3637
    @nikhilkumarsingh3637 Рік тому +1

    Thanks for the lovely advice! You explain like a life teacher. It's not how challenging our situations are, it's how we learn from it even if something one feels it's not upto the mark. I tend to perceive everything as negative because I try everything to do as perfect as possible, when that does not happen, I feel that others are better, I am not suitable for this. I should perceive it as a learning experience.

  • @minae1423
    @minae1423 Рік тому

    Thank you Shadé, a concept wonderfully delivered and broken down to it's core parts. 🙏

  • @jikandlela181
    @jikandlela181 Рік тому +1

    Thanks Shade' - much appreciation from South Africa and Zimbabwe

    • @ShadeZahrai
      @ShadeZahrai  Рік тому +1

      You're welcome Jika. Beautiful part of the world!

  • @RatishStha
    @RatishStha 3 місяці тому

    Your tone of narrating story is so powerful and so touching that anyone once watch your videos will for it. ..thank you for being so kind for making such a wonderful videos and helping people enriching the experience to live their life

  • @sushilsingh9264
    @sushilsingh9264 Рік тому +1

    It's been a pleasure listening to all that you have to teach us ... You make us learn from our own experience, a whole new perspective... Thanks a ton

  • @nazeemamuscat8479
    @nazeemamuscat8479 Рік тому +2

    I feel so previliged to find you. The precision in your presentation is awesome. Stay blessed for everything you do for unlifting us. Love you!❣️"The way we communicate with ourselves and others determine the quality of our life" Tony Robins, Unlimited Power

  • @FIDA312
    @FIDA312 Рік тому

    Excellent addition of lots of great advices

  • @gaganupreti
    @gaganupreti Рік тому +1

    Thanks mam, to make all of us author of our life.

  • @gauravsinghbedi6536
    @gauravsinghbedi6536 Рік тому

    Brilliant Insight Shade Zahari...God Bles You... Thank You Shade...

  • @rollandjoeseph
    @rollandjoeseph 2 місяці тому

    It really is about looking outside yourself, seeing it from a different angle and learning from it. It really can be an awakening imho

  • @ibraheemjallad809
    @ibraheemjallad809 5 місяців тому

    Thank you for this important information.
    Taking lessons from past experiences and applying them in order to grow and develop and prosper .

  • @yasirali8158
    @yasirali8158 Рік тому

    Miss you are outstanding. Thanks for this work. Please! Pray for Us.

  • @sarahalishah5827
    @sarahalishah5827 Рік тому

    Jazak Allah Shade’ for all kind words and precious advice to decontaminate one’s story ….every one will benefit from your knowledge ….stay blessed…❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

  • @PawanSharma-oi1vw
    @PawanSharma-oi1vw Рік тому

    You nailed it. Thank you for sharing. Indebted to you for your clarity.

  • @arshsingh8843
    @arshsingh8843 Рік тому +1

    Never thought a nine minute video can deliver that Enormous amount of value👏👏🙌🙌..
    keep this spirit straight up to sky and thanks a lot🙏 namaste

  • @shekhargupta6718
    @shekhargupta6718 Рік тому +1

    Your videos really work as booster dose to recycle my negative vibes into positive ones. You are blessed with immense knowledge and you keep sharing your thoughts so beautifully with us that one just keep longing for more to come .

  • @SR-um7kd
    @SR-um7kd Рік тому

    Absolutely loved your theory and explanation

  • @ganeshbalasubramanian5206
    @ganeshbalasubramanian5206 Рік тому +3

    Great insight, synthesized from multiple, authentic sources 👏🏽 . Grateful for the effort and the message, Shadè 🙏🏽. I am hopeful of following the steps and reaping the benefits 😃.

  • @RishiMalviya10
    @RishiMalviya10 3 місяці тому

    Thankyou !! This video is a voice of hope.

  • @shoshininsights4592
    @shoshininsights4592 4 місяці тому

    Your contribution to our lives is really great.Hope you will meet Sadguru and grow even higher🙏

  • @priyaramdoo4762
    @priyaramdoo4762 11 місяців тому +1

    I really needed to listen to this again and again to remember to be postive and attract positivity..thank you 🙏

  • @anilshedbal4206
    @anilshedbal4206 Рік тому

    You are simply fabulous. I think you prepare a lot before you appear on the camera. If it is just spontaneous, just can't believe! Your every word in this and other few, i watched, are treasures for self improvement. Hats off to you! May God bless you!

  • @Vishalroksc
    @Vishalroksc Рік тому +1

    I really appreciate your content Shade, you really did a great job by not only motivating people like me but, you also counsel and telling the meaning of live a happy life.
    Living Krishna you are❤️🙏

  • @issakhadra750
    @issakhadra750 Рік тому

    I strongly agree with your analysis thanks!

  • @sandrasaba8229
    @sandrasaba8229 Рік тому

    Thank you Shade 🌹

  • @ahmedjamalhumakani
    @ahmedjamalhumakani Рік тому

    Thanks a lot Shadé!
    This really makes sense.

  • @pokerlovers3529
    @pokerlovers3529 9 місяців тому

    I love and admire your thoughts, ma'am.

  • @garvsabbarwal3000
    @garvsabbarwal3000 Рік тому

    Thank you Shadé

  • @nileshshah2644
    @nileshshah2644 Рік тому

    Very beautifully explained. I have heard this so many times from others. Haven't understood so deeply earlier. Grateful to you.

  • @vizzurd1
    @vizzurd1 Рік тому

    Truly amazing .thank you

  • @shashankemani1609
    @shashankemani1609 Рік тому

    Accept you and accept reality coz accepting yourself is being real! Thanks for such a great information. 🙏🏻

  • @tinabhatia1403
    @tinabhatia1403 6 місяців тому

    Very well crafted....just felt like watching the thing I needed recently

  • @viperrattle3857
    @viperrattle3857 Рік тому

    I must say that after watching much of your practical advice I just got some results. I am a retired Physics professor and always have too many ideas (scientific) to report to Journals and I feel that I have very little time left on this planet. I always used and still do multitask and write about 5 different papers at once. When I concentrate on one to complete sometimes something comes up in the journals that make my priorities change. But I get things done but when one paper is published I immediately start the next one. Sometimes I get 10 different articles in the press. I don't feel the joy of getting published. From now on I will reward myself and enjoy once a project is completed. Basically, I always felt that if I do not get the ideas before too long, nobody ever will. THANK YOU.

  • @monicakalil
    @monicakalil 5 місяців тому

    Excellent, Shadé! I love your contents.

  • @rp2804
    @rp2804 Рік тому

    This channel has changed my life!

  • @anitajulaniya1959
    @anitajulaniya1959 7 місяців тому

    Fantastic perspective. Thanks

  • @alisonnorth7907
    @alisonnorth7907 Рік тому

    I voted the most important person in UA-cam right now is this iron young lady kudos my mentor and all the very best

  • @azmat3015
    @azmat3015 Рік тому +1

    Really This woman is inspiring to me and never forget seeing her video

  • @donaflordeliez5584
    @donaflordeliez5584 Рік тому

    Thank you for this video, so timely for me. More blessings!

  • @parthahazarika4299
    @parthahazarika4299 Рік тому +1

    Thank you for this amazing experience you brought it and how any situation can bring about a positive life approach in dealing with bigger challenges and struggles

  • @brainnervespsychology41
    @brainnervespsychology41 5 місяців тому

    Thank You 💗Loved Your Very Informative Video.

  • @meetshethable
    @meetshethable Рік тому

    Such a wonderful video. We need more people like you on this earth seriously. Please keep posting more. God bless.

  • @derejehamonagebremariamoff2612

    Love your message ❤️.

  • @alic7277
    @alic7277 8 місяців тому

    Absolutely loved this ❤️

  • @andrestherock1
    @andrestherock1 Рік тому

    Thanks for this video. This information is invaluable.

  • @k.k3260
    @k.k3260 Рік тому

    Perfect timeing of this video.... Thank you so many for such a nice learnings.

  • @mpundee2442
    @mpundee2442 6 місяців тому

    I'm so grateful that I found your channel Shade. What you shared is so helpful as I'm practicing in my life now whatever is useful to me when I need it the most.
    Thank You 🙇

  • @pcadec980
    @pcadec980 Рік тому

    Shade, your sayings are great and penetrate to the heart and mind. Really give lights

  • @niddhimotwani2963
    @niddhimotwani2963 Рік тому

    The right content at the right time helps you work harder for a better you. Wonderful video.

  • @mariam-de4nv
    @mariam-de4nv Рік тому

    You are full of wisdom in your trade. I enjoy listening watching ur channel. Keep them
    Coming. Thanks you so much. More power to you. We need people like you to help people be better in facing life challenges and accomplishments. 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽

  • @aguacatecreativo
    @aguacatecreativo 4 місяці тому

    Amazing! Thank you!!

  • @ShainaBajaj
    @ShainaBajaj 5 місяців тому

    Thanks dear.....actually needed guidance on this topic...God bless you!!!!

  • @dgsgsgsfh525
    @dgsgsgsfh525 Рік тому

    You are unbelievably superb pack of knowlegde. What you deliver is awesome. Trust me, I needed to hear this video today Shade. Keep up with the work and I promise that I will pass this knowledge to the next required person. Keep up with this work plz. The world needs more of this or at least people like me need such videos a lot. In a world where there are almost never ending content, it is really good to see people like you making a geniune effort for mankind. I am very emotional and falling short of words to describe the gratitude towards you. Thanks again Shade!!!!!!!

  • @Connectingthedots.
    @Connectingthedots. Рік тому +1

    I love your channel. Thank you 😊
    The way you speak and put together videos is amazing ❤️

  • @rahulchauhan1597
    @rahulchauhan1597 3 місяці тому

    Thanks for this. I am writing these question on my notebook and trying to evaluate and re-author my narrative.

  • @azerila89m
    @azerila89m 3 місяці тому

    dear shade, thanks for your super useful contents. I don't know if you have a persian background or not since I see a persian name. but if you know about adversities we Iranians are dealing with in a dictatorship society, you definetely find it they leaded us to become a sad fighter in the road to growth.

  • @priyaramdoo4762
    @priyaramdoo4762 8 місяців тому

    I had to watch this video again to rewrite my purpose again and keep working on my growth mindset

  • @infantnelson9356
    @infantnelson9356 Рік тому

    This world needs a women like you to encourage others. 👌✌️

  • @sihembouaoud1813
    @sihembouaoud1813 Рік тому

    This is beautifully crafted that you for these precious advices.

  • @ericli2936
    @ericli2936 Рік тому

    Im working on it. Thank you for doing these Videos. You are god send

  • @annadas2760
    @annadas2760 Рік тому

    Thank you so much 🎉! Loved the video

  • @tmkaber
    @tmkaber Рік тому

    Thanks for the wonderful message

  • @meeragangurde814
    @meeragangurde814 Рік тому

    Thank you for this valuable information
    Thank you so much

  • @Swift1756
    @Swift1756 Рік тому

    Superb....Well defined...thanks

  • @sathiarajkrishnamoorthy4888
    @sathiarajkrishnamoorthy4888 Рік тому +2

    Thank you for this! I will rewrite my story. The story of Captain Steve Rogers

  • @josephchristopherlewis6020
    @josephchristopherlewis6020 7 місяців тому

    Great teaching !!! ❤

  • @nikkusingh813
    @nikkusingh813 Рік тому

    Kya baata hai, 👍 👌 👍 👌 👍 👌 👍 great video explain well every time thanku 🙏