I have six brothers. As we all grew up, I watched each one of them, starting in Jr. High, start to close off. Their entire personalities changed. They became angry, quiet, some aggressive, but all of them-not the happy boys they used to be. So, when I had my own son and the same cycle started happening, I literally went in and talked with him every night about what was going on in life. It continued all through High School. Now he has grown into a kind, empathetic husband and father, who can sit down and have a serious talk. I’m not saying it was all me, but I feel it definitely helped! Parents need to keep their boys talking. Don’t t let them close off, like they feel like they have too.
I never say anything in my family, but I’m the most extroverted person at school! Reason I don’t talk coz they’re judgmental, and they’re aggressive, so I better keeep quiet
@@r0llc4ll66 Hey... Glad to say you're not alone, if in any way that helps you. I am bottled up inside about a lot of things and you can consider the point by observing that my choice of UA-cam video lies in watching this TED talk. The conversations that I can't do with them are essentially connected with finding the right partner but all they are concerned for me to get a job and have money so I can earn well for myself (yes, understandable) and then when I'll be having a job I'll be "able to" have a wife so I can continue moving my life forward having a happy family. I told them months back that I don't want to do the jobs and earning money works, rather some creative work related to media that I'm interested in as always, or I'd love to be a homemaker (the more gender-neutral term for one who take care of kids and home). Yes... I want to take care of the people that are part of my internal life in the future rather than earning money outside in the world because I don't feel like earning money at all. I just want to do anything that contributes to supporting and peace to people who are near and dear to me, that's all. But it's not just the people near me but people outside my personal scenarios that decline the idea to be a homemaker, because it's unworthy, derogatory, meaningless, petty, dishonorable choice of work that I want to do in life, and eventually, women in a majority themselves don't find a man attractive or companion who doesn't earn for "them" per se. It's all messed up and I'm sorry if I've bothered you with this long comment but I just felt like sharing it. Also, to say to you that I can't be there for you buddy. But please hang in there. Just like me, you'll find soon people who actually want to listen to you without any prejudice or judgments, and will be happy to accept you the way you are generous towards them. Peace.
Meet the Artist I’ll leave my home one day, and my big family soon move out to others house, so there’ll be only a Few in house, I don’t really care much right now! I know it’s tough that people judge you for your social status! But that’s how the way life is, so just ignore and do whatever you wanna do anyway
@@meettheartist5506 It seems to me you have a very caring side, that needs to come out and be manifested in your visible way of life, for you to feel motivated to be active and feeling authenticity. That you figured that out is a huge step. What do you need now? You are alone and your aspirations are not supported. What can you do now? What is possible? If you cannot move as straight as an arrow flies, can you go forwards as an owl flies? Move around the obstacles, without confronting head on? Can you take a course in cooking, even if it were fine-dining? Can you take a course in economics-book keeping, even if it were for companies? Can you take a course in plumbing, housebuilding, gardening, even if it were for professionals? Such could be buildning stones for a good home-maker, because mothers need to know this and so much more. Start somewhere, and don't talk too much about your goals on the far horizon, those are things that traditionally minded anxious people don't understand. Don't provoke their fears, they will only hold you back. Have your own goals and make your own plans - get your support from the imagined like-minded people you will meet in the future! They do exist! I guess you live in India, so surely great things happen now, but you still have to overcome the caste-system, don't you? So don't take all problems personally, much of it is about the system that is not ripe for modern ideas. You as an individual are a few generations or more ahead, and so don't get discouraged and don't waste your energy and time. Be wise and proactive. I feel you can make it, but it needs your own trust and commitment. Tell your mother that you love her, admire her, and thank her, and that you "have her good example in your heart, so nothing can go really wrong". And she will be a little less anxious about you and your ability to handle the world. Then follow your plan. That's a gentle stubbornness-muscle every home-maker needs to train, because it is very vital, or the whole family falls apart. How's that for a start?
Just to add....a proper man cries sometimes, and it’s not human always to be strong. He can call upon the love and support of the women in his life and other men when he needs it - men are human beings too! Love and luck to all you boys out there, I don’t underestimate the challenges you face.
Jesus loves all of you repent of your sins which is bad things belive that God raised Jesus from the dead and confess Jesus as lord and you will be saved.
Interestingly enough, a number of decades ago, pink was more a masculine colour and blue more feminine. When you think of it, pink is a lighter shade of red being a dominant and aggressive color VS blue being more calm and passive, so its interesting how they flipped in terms of which gender they were associated with.
it changed from pale pink to blue around the same time birthmothers stopped nursing themselves and wetnurses started dressing boys in dresses tresses and caps
@divyanshu pandey That's the stereotype you have in head. Colors are just colors. Nature doesn't originate colors to create a borderline and distributing the colors also to a specific gender. Red tends to be bolder and blue is a calm one. I, as an individual likes to be calm and composed, while many times when I going to or get into trouble, I become passive-aggressive but I take bolder actions in front of people who try to belittle me. I like blue color and associate with my identity because it connects well with who I am from within, my core. Again, colors are just colors. Don't corrupt yourself with what people around you say. If you feel like wearing pink, wear it, flaunt it off if you want but be proud of what you like.
Jesus loves all of you repent of your sins which is bad things belive that God raised Jesus from the dead and confess Jesus as lord and you will be saved.
Thank you very much for sharing your story with Jason Gaddis. I have listened to you on his latest podcast. I love the openness and the real opportunities for men to gain insight and develop changes for connections, learning true Masculine and Feminine polarity and emotional intelligence is the true meaning of completeness. I didn't get to fully experience the best possibility of what you are personally teaching. Money and Status changed my life, the man turned on me within the first year of marriage. I was not aware of anyone who has changed my life but luckily I was smart enough to figure out abuse and complete betrayal which was a true feeling of being . brainwashed. That didn't make me stay stuck, 7 months of being walked over, I walked out purely by strong virtuous motivation and what strength I had left. How do successful intellectual men feel when causing pain upon innocent and loving women! I kept asking him if he rather be right than happy... he just couldn't be wrong and hated me for not complying with his ways. I guess love, commitment and loyalty without any remorse for my loss in this has no matter or means for people who are living a double life (lie). Never wanted the money or the status but I did spend six full years showing someone what love is despite the psychology abuse that started after his vows. Gaining any closure from the man I held space for to love, give my heart and soul to was my gift, price tag not included. My virtues was what he loved, but I bet you there's a lot of truth said for once. One day, I can be a part of a team like yours to help spread the word. My marriage was full-time passion, the story backfired the day he started working with High Profile ALPHA Statuses which is not ANYTHING that I signed up for. The emotional "sensitive" woman, 100% secure and open about my vulnerabilities became his nervous habit he was not having. The divorce process is now here. I have a physical disabilty and he has everything handed to him including the bank. I walk away with my integrity and my sense of self. This used to be a life sentence but I am so glad I did the work to overcome the most difficult part of many people who are suffering from abusive and Wo-man-haters. Its too bad this message was not able to get out to him and many more that experience the realization of marriage and deception of men who will never fully understand or do the work for themselves and their victims. thank you for sharing your story and sharing your wisdom because the younger generation of boys need to learn that a real man is not what old generations and even my own generation have desperately needed to be a part of. Great Work
My ex boyfriend was an amazing beautiful guy, tall, strong and what I love most about him a very empathic and sensitive. I always told him only real men are men enough to wear pink. He loved to wear a pink polo shirt and he looked great in it. He stopped wearing it when his dad started to make fun of him because he was wearing pink. Is it really brave to be scared of a color?
@@Fanboy-ek9yf lol so true, the level of cognitive dissonance these modern women have is astounding. The only reason she was with him was because he was tall, strong and handsome.
Connor Beaton is one of those men whom we women desire! He is not afraid showing his kind and sonft side. That needs strength! Showing any other feeling is easy. Never forget that, male chauvinists. You look down on us women? Guess who look down on you!
I encourage men to show their kind, soft side and rebuild the brotherhood, though it should not be because of what women view as desirable, rather it should be for men's own self-interest. If these things prevent men from destroying themselves or anyone else, then come what may. I don't care what you personally find desirable, rather I want the Andrew Tates to no longer have de facto monopoly on the masculine identity.
I've been wondering about this picture for a while. What is masculinity? I know that here in Finland, where I live, alcoholism, social exclusion and domestic violence are all very common and associated with men. All of them, I believe however, are mostly symptoms of mental problems that lie deep within. Men are facing struggles that are not articulated enough. This video helped me with acknowledging the problems whereas I already saw and understood the symptoms around the subject. I see now that machoism is a very big factor here but I wonder, where does it come from? Thank you for enlightening me!!!
@UltArcRanger stop playing the victim role and start acting upon your own values, you don’t have to be admired by women just learn to be yourself and to be ethical no matter what.
Connor Beaton this is such a moving talk. Love how you have touched upon so many taboo subjects de-shrouding the shame and giving a voice to so many myths around misplaced superiority which leads to loneliness, abuse and pain. Keep singing my friend!!! Your voice needs to be heard!! Thank you.
obviously you don't care about this talk after making comments trying to persuade people his talk isn't valuable. I'm sorry you're feeling triggered by what was obviously a very moving talk.
Thank you for this straightforward lecture on toxic masculinity Connor! As a fellow male, I admire you greatly, keep up the good work! One can be masculine and loving and caring, and as a matter of fact, loving and showing kindness to those we dislike or cannot stand or hate takes a lot of strength, guts, character AND BALLS! Men or women, we all have limits and weaknesses and abilities and strengths, and all should be acknowledged and accepted.
damn! conor just busts out in opera. nice! being a man means having the courage to have the real conversations and face the music. so many great role models on youtube.
In terms of the wolf thing; dominance theory has been disproven. Packs work as a dynamic family unit, and I would definitely work on finding a better example.
Watch some documentaries, there is clearly a boss. The pack actually requires this boss to function properly, look at sled dogs, same thing, if the owner doesn't physically reinforce the heirarchy, the dogs will actually kill each other.
@happy hare Yeah, I am talking about a sled dog pack made up of a number of dogs from different family units, in which case the structure of the pack itselt needs to be managed properly in order to avoid clashes and disputes between dogs of different social ranks. You are correct in that famiky wolf packs the breeding male and female would be considered the 'alpha' wolves.
I disagree, Kate. I see this as an example of healthy male leadership--following the tribe, watching, bringing along the stragglers. Recall that he said the equivalent in our society is the lone wolf; nowhere present in this picture.
Kate Follot I think you are looking at his example wrong. He was talking about the pack as the unit that follows what the leader of the pack tells them to do...but with the proper type of authority. But the wolf that walks alone (not the one in the back), he is one we can’t see because he is not with the pack, because he is too violent. The one in the back isn’t the lone wolf...he is the leader of a very large, healthy pack because of his communications with his pack. I thought it was a really good analogy, if you look at it that way.
@@classicalgas8297 To equate our behavior with animals', is to believe that humans are animal-like. Why to be called ''animal'' is an insult, then? If you think we are animals, you cannot be made to understand anything. Unlike animals we work for continuous betterment and improvement. Kate is right on ‘’family as dynamic unit’’.
Jesus loves all of you repent of your sins which is bad things belive that God raised Jesus from the dead and confess Jesus as lord and you will be saved.
I get what he's trying to convey here but I became happier when I started to lead more masculine life a few years ago. Being proud of being a man. Embracing it even. I'm still of course kind to others. I'm not bullying anyone, quite the opposite. Men and women are different and deep down we like things being that way.
Thank you Connor, I feel calmed to have connected and be left empowered by you and your beautiful voice. To the countless hours spent prepare this intelligent talk and the many years leading up to this success, I thank you and everyone that has supported you to get this far. Many will live a much more fulfilling and proactive lifestyle after hearing these passionate words, thank you. Power to you brother!
Thanks Zak! I really appreciate you. Im glad that the talk landed for you and hope that it has will help shift some people perspectives. #ideasworthspreading
Jesus loves all of you repent of your sins which is bad things belive that God raised Jesus from the dead and confess Jesus as lord and you will be saved.
Jesus loves all of you repent of your sins which is bad things belive that God raised Jesus from the dead and confess Jesus as lord and you will be saved.
This is an important talk with a timely message everyone - meaning all men and women - needs to hear. Well done Connor, for shining a light on this topic that desperately needs it. Great job my friend! Congratulations on your huge achievement!
@@ShaylaAsh people that don't have logical capacity are feminism's best customers. Those who possesses high agreeableness and subscribe to group think are feminism's poster children. Reality is a feminist's worst nightmare.
@@lockandloadlikehell You assume that someone doesn't have a capacity for logic just because they are connected to their emotional selves, when having bothe logic AND emotions gives you balance. But go off with what you learned in jail today.
I think it is a beautiful thing. Being self-aware, self-compassionate, and having self-esteem are really these things we, as men, should start doing a bit more.
I've often been told to man up when ever I've showed and displayed tender emotions simply cos that's the attitude society has towards me due to the fact that I'm a man but that's the attitude society has towards men in general
I feel that all the characteristics that you stated (retaliation, aggression, lack of empathy, etc.) was to ensure that the men will end up being good warriors/soldiers(or more appropriately weapons) as that was one of the main purposes of men back in the day. However these values weren't changed/updated as society changed/evolved and now those who try to adopt those values find themselves out of place.
Those values are not for soldiers but “survivors.” If you want to survive in this world, you have to suppress emotions and empathy. Your job is to survive, and provide for your family. Nothing more.
I'm certainly one of these men who thought about suicide, just being honest plus I'm not much of a fighter but I still consider myself to be very manly and only being honest with that too
Good talk, and good examples in the personal stories and especially the wolf pack. The explanation of the alpha wolf vs. the lone wolf finally makes sense. Also, the singing was masculine and wonderful.
Jesus loves all of you repent of your sins which is bad things belive that God raised Jesus from the dead and confess Jesus as lord and you will be saved.
Here I am at three am with the window open questioning why my fears, incomprehensible compared to everything else control me so much. No matter how I acknowledge them I cannot overcome them, this isn't like killing something, or picking up an animal, or dancing in front of a crowd, no matter how hard I push myself I am unable to come out to people close to me about what I like, why Why is this my greatest obstacle, it isn't physically hard, I know for a fact nobody will care, but what will happen
masculinity is being able to be a independent man. to understand that they are capable of dominating any situation, not to say bullying or intimidation. but as a right of passage to be self sufficient.. the dominant male will survive in any situation..
This TedX is the most powerful man talk I've come across. I forwarded it to the man in my life. And your voice is a slice of heaven. I felt something stir deep in my soul, just beautiful. Thank you for this TedX. Happy Holidays to you and your family as well as your friends. 🌱🌿🌲💫❤
Maybe because the idea of being a man differs for every place and so some people will heavily disagree with someone else's views on what it means to be a man 🤔
@Felix Holloway not really. Different societies have different norms for their people tho because of globalisation those have probably grown closer together I can imagine
I need to take this advice haha. Great lecture and he understands many peoples situations so well. Amazing confidence and effort man. Thanks for all the help!😄👍
Jesus loves all of you repent of your sins which is bad things belive that God raised Jesus from the dead and confess Jesus as lord and you will be saved.
Jesus loves all of you repent of your sins which is bad things belive that God raised Jesus from the dead and confess Jesus as lord and you will be saved.
I don't think the problem or reasons for depression in men is due to the fact we suppress our emotions and feeling. There are biological reasons that men do not share our feelings as freely as women. It does no good to the family to bring your feelings back to the cave. Men do talk about things, when they are good and ready, don't push them. I believe the reason depression rates are so high in men is because they are struggling to find a place in this world, and often feel unfulfilled. Men need to be loved for who they are, and what they are.
Absolutely. You're supposed to find that solace in other men or your life partner yet the age of the internet destroyed those two safe havens. I talk about anything less than positivity around men and I'm a Debbie Downer and women don't respect that whiny stuff either. Where can a man go to say "I'm not happy right now" and be accepted?
There are no biological reasons why we don't share our feelings. Your total statement contradicts itself. What a bunch of rubbish. If you can't bring your feelings back to the cave, then the cave failed you.
I love it - the interpretation of the picture with the wolves is actually incorrect, but doesn't matter. He's making a point and nature DOES have its own definition of "alpha" male, which is NOT alpha in the sense of being the most successful bully...
Great talk Connor! Such an important conversation - by sharing your own story you are changing the way men see vulnerability. Here's to more conversations like these.xoxo
Jesus loves all of you repent of your sins which is bad things belive that God raised Jesus from the dead and confess Jesus as lord and you will be saved.
This video is 5 years old and isn't even at 1 million views. What even. Probably cause people have the fear of watching this and/or don't want to share about it because it might hurt their masculinity. I nearly cried and wanted to hug that 12 year old when he talked about it.
This is one TEDTalk all young boys should have the chance to listen to growing up. If more young men could have role models in their lives such as you Connor, this world would see a real shift in the way men move and show up in the world. Bravo for this powerful truth telling.
To all the haters here: When you earn your own TED talk, I'll be more than happy to entertain your viewpoints. Connor: Thank you for the insightful presentation. It is clearly a monumental task to succinctly cover all aspects of your philosophy inside of 18 minutes.
Great video! A lot of boys also try and be what girls might want. At an early age I noticed the bigger guys not only getting girls but girls wanting those kinds of guys. And It's not only that I didn't want to cry in front of the other boys but also in front of the girls. From the suicide percentages, I wonder if most we're single, and if maybe having a girlfriend would've helped. Standards are pretty high nowadays, and tv/films aren't helping. When there is more than one sibling in the house, like a brother and sister, if the father is telling the boy ..."like a man", then the sister is also learning that's how a real man should be. Or if girls don't learn "like a man" from home they'll see it in movies or with other kids at school. Which may lead them later on to deny the nice guys and choose the "manly" guys. It's a chain reaction. I see national campaigns on "like a girl" (or similar) but yet haven't seen a campaign for "like a man".
It's true - women are conditioned to expect (and try to desire) from men the same things that other men do, then wonder why they are chronically unhappy and dissatisfied in relationships. Women need to "grow some balls" in terms of valuing and respecting men who demonstrate the capacity to think, act, and feel in ways that are human and appropriate to the situation (as in tenderness and cooperation with family and friends, but strength and determination in the face of an enemy/crisis. And yes, women need to develop this dual skill set as well...) People need to stop being sheep by letting other people, media, pop culture define for them what is valuable, acceptable, and desirable. Define for yourself what feels right, just, and worth having, and then stand by those values.
About the Alpha, Omega and all that stuff. The actual scientist, or researcher idk, who discovered the existence of Alpha, Beta, Omega and those things in animal ACTUALLY discovered that they don't exist, the 'Alphas' were just parents
I just found talk and let me tell you it was beautifully beautifully received I absolutely was so impressed to see such a balanced and heart man with soul and Spirit bursting from every quantum conscious innate DNA as cellular structure. If I was to aspire to have the boys and countenance that this gentleman has shared with all of us I could only be a more macro cosmic human being and only for the better and for the souls evolution thank you Connor thank you thank you thank you ⛲⛲⛲🦚🦚🦚🦚🦚
So easy for this guy to say with a face and body like that. No, men do not have to be violent and isolated, but notice how he still puts value in an alpha figure. That's what most people would see him as in a small group. That's what women, even feminists, want. This talk accomplishes nothing.
@@BeGlamourlicious maybe because he is driving stereotypes. And even you are, like in your previous comment you narrated how only men who wear pink are man enough or are real man. Imagine if a guy says a women is women enough only if she does certain things. Instead you should be feeling ashamed that you are such narrow minded to call a man enough only if he wears pink.
@@bdb5678 i think he's trying to bring up Sam Giacana, an infamous Chicago mobster. they weren't a patron though, they were really good friends. Sinatra basically knew all the big names in organized crime.
I never heared this in my country im aware of we dont cry and stuff but if u lost someone half of the students in your school and prob all your friends will help and support you.
I do fear girls from my early childhood. Absolute fear for opposite gender from childhood. so I started respecting girls like every girl in the world is my sister only the one to whom I may get marry. but every time I see girl I respecting them and think if like that girl is crime and then my emotions getting badly hurt. so started seeing down but not in the eyes or face because its a crime. but now I see that this is now my integral part of life like dumb a mad. do society accept dumb or mad no it no not at all. so values I accepted were true right but it made me a shit. this journey of respecting girl was helped by so called society of Indian standard, just helping me to forget one day I will turn into a men. but I say they are very much closer to their goal of making a boy into a dumb men. I don't have proper friends I have time with only me and no friends.
@@joshuadaltilia8480 Whether someone does or not... You deserve to love yourself. Look in the mirror and embrace the natural features you're gifted by nature and work on the flaws that are created by some mistakes for example no skincare or self-care in general. The definition of handsome per se doesn't justify the true natural qualities you possess in you being organic.
Connor, great talk I thoroughly enjoyed it and I really appreciate all that you are doing to help men. Also thank you for the brief aria. I do want to take issue with one of your first statements that said, “Most boys and young men are taught that their highest value as a man is their ability to dominate, to control and to succeed at all costs.” I can say, with all honesty, that I wasn’t taught that in any of my schooling or by my parents. I’ve also asked a few men that I know and none of them were taught that way either. I’m going to suggest that this is one of the belief’s that the Feminist movement implemented to aide their cause and in fact “most” young men and boys are not taught that. Now many people believe it as the truth for most men and boys. Its not to say that some boys weren’t raised that way, as I’m sure there were. It’s also unfortunate that one of your first public singing engagements was responded to by a bully, whose parents obviously didn’t do a very good job of raising their son. There have always been bullies and their numbers are probably increasing as our family units are deteriorating. Again I say, great talk and you made some excellent points, the last ½ of the talk was EXCELLENT. BTW, The little boy whose mom died had a father that was in a lot of pain and didn’t know how to lead his son by example. For us to think that all/most boys are raised like this is wrong. This is clearly an example of what NOT to do. Thanks again.
@Project AcuHopelet's focus on the actual concern here, their absence. How about services to support them as fathers is something that is a significant deficit in this country because so many people are preoccupied with this antiquated view of the family unit without giving the concept the possibility to evolve and include different types of families.
I'm all for men being more in touch with their sensitive side and their emotions. That being said, there has to coexist a side that can be dangerous. It's like Aslan that CS Lewis wrote about, he said "Aslan is good but not safe." I grew up in an environment of very masculine men, and I was never once taught that I have to dominate or bully anyone. I think this guy manipulates the math and the antagonist to better frame his speech. He made some good points, but his stated major problems for men were a bit skewed. I'm a singer and have been since I was a kid, and I've never once heard that singing was just for girls. Bullies will be bullies, they are not the symbols of masculinity that boys follow.
it's sad some men actually think this guy is speaking truth :/ men are open around other men they trust, not in public or around women(other than long term partner) trust your brothers, not others.
I am posting this comment before I watch the video, I am going to make a few guesses about this video. He will go over the hollywood steryotypical idea's of manliness (Which I have found to be b.s.). He will talk about how men are taught to not talk about their "feelings" without delving into the physical disconnect between the migdula and prefrontal cortex which makes verbalizing emotion more difficult in men. He will undoubtably not cover masculinity as it apears cross culturally. He will talk about suicide, and shootings but will not delve into why this is a new phenomena. I doubt he will address divorce and the negative impact widespread single mothers have had on todays "men".
Well maybe because at some point, grown men stop blaming single mothers or any external source to scapegoat their dysfunctional behavior, and change their behavior to make their lives function. Maybe you should do the same thing.
Great talk, and as a woman: you're welcome. 😁 It's really hard for me to talk with my boyfriend about this, though. He feels masculinity is such a part of who he is that when I talk about how some behaviors being labeled "masculine" is capable of causing harm, he gets defensive immediately. He turns the tables and says "women have toxic behavior, too." I just wish he would hear me and try to relate, he doesn't even have to agree. I'm not attacking him. But somehow I always end up being the one to apologize...
I'm not from Seattle and lots of others too but I don't get how people scream that they want change and diversity however it looks like there's still lots of people that are of the same types of people doing the same things and having the same attitudes which doesn't make any sense. It's hard to get a date but also just as hard to keep a date which could turn into a relationship. Seems as if people are proud to have rights but are working so much especially in the winter and spring which lasts more than 6 months and then ladies really don't want to date anyone for love but more likely because they have a car/ van or cheap apartment to keep them warm. Though I can see the need for survival I think people are really insecure and don't muster up the right amount of courage to make your own circumstances better- without selling out to lower standards. There is something to say about what a book says: "Turn from me and I will hand you over to the one that hates you." People in general have this religious or not philosophy which doesn't do enough to save us from the city's demise.
I love this! So many points hit home for me there, we could all definitely learn a thing or two from this. Thank you Conor! 👍 (p.s, you're very cute) lol :)
I have six brothers. As we all grew up, I watched each one of them, starting in Jr. High, start to close off. Their entire personalities changed. They became angry, quiet, some aggressive, but all of them-not the happy boys they used to be. So, when I had my own son and the same cycle started happening, I literally went in and talked with him every night about what was going on in life. It continued all through High School. Now he has grown into a kind, empathetic husband and father, who can sit down and have a serious talk. I’m not saying it was all me, but I feel it definitely helped! Parents need to keep their boys talking. Don’t t let them close off, like they feel like they have too.
Brady Family you seem to be an amazing person. Connecting with other people in an empathic way is a gift. Your son got that gift from you.
I never say anything in my family, but I’m the most extroverted person at school! Reason I don’t talk coz they’re judgmental, and they’re aggressive, so I better keeep quiet
@@r0llc4ll66 Hey... Glad to say you're not alone, if in any way that helps you. I am bottled up inside about a lot of things and you can consider the point by observing that my choice of UA-cam video lies in watching this TED talk. The conversations that I can't do with them are essentially connected with finding the right partner but all they are concerned for me to get a job and have money so I can earn well for myself (yes, understandable) and then when I'll be having a job I'll be "able to" have a wife so I can continue moving my life forward having a happy family. I told them months back that I don't want to do the jobs and earning money works, rather some creative work related to media that I'm interested in as always, or I'd love to be a homemaker (the more gender-neutral term for one who take care of kids and home). Yes... I want to take care of the people that are part of my internal life in the future rather than earning money outside in the world because I don't feel like earning money at all. I just want to do anything that contributes to supporting and peace to people who are near and dear to me, that's all. But it's not just the people near me but people outside my personal scenarios that decline the idea to be a homemaker, because it's unworthy, derogatory, meaningless, petty, dishonorable choice of work that I want to do in life, and eventually, women in a majority themselves don't find a man attractive or companion who doesn't earn for "them" per se. It's all messed up and I'm sorry if I've bothered you with this long comment but I just felt like sharing it. Also, to say to you that I can't be there for you buddy. But please hang in there. Just like me, you'll find soon people who actually want to listen to you without any prejudice or judgments, and will be happy to accept you the way you are generous towards them. Peace.
Meet the Artist I’ll leave my home one day, and my big family soon move out to others house, so there’ll be only a Few in house, I don’t really care much right now! I know it’s tough that people judge you for your social status! But that’s how the way life is, so just ignore and do whatever you wanna do anyway
@@meettheartist5506 It seems to me you have a very caring side, that needs to come out and be manifested in your visible way of life, for you to feel motivated to be active and feeling authenticity. That you figured that out is a huge step. What do you need now? You are alone and your aspirations are not supported. What can you do now? What is possible? If you cannot move as straight as an arrow flies, can you go forwards as an owl flies? Move around the obstacles, without confronting head on?
Can you take a course in cooking, even if it were fine-dining? Can you take a course in economics-book keeping, even if it were for companies? Can you take a course in plumbing, housebuilding, gardening, even if it were for professionals?
Such could be buildning stones for a good home-maker, because mothers need to know this and so much more. Start somewhere, and don't talk too much about your goals on the far horizon, those are things that traditionally minded anxious people don't understand. Don't provoke their fears, they will only hold you back. Have your own goals and make your own plans - get your support from the imagined like-minded people you will meet in the future! They do exist!
I guess you live in India, so surely great things happen now, but you still have to overcome the caste-system, don't you? So don't take all problems personally, much of it is about the system that is not ripe for modern ideas. You as an individual are a few generations or more ahead, and so don't get discouraged and don't waste your energy and time. Be wise and proactive.
I feel you can make it, but it needs your own trust and commitment. Tell your mother that you love her, admire her, and thank her, and that you "have her good example in your heart, so nothing can go really wrong". And she will be a little less anxious about you and your ability to handle the world.
Then follow your plan. That's a gentle stubbornness-muscle every home-maker needs to train, because it is very vital, or the whole family falls apart.
How's that for a start?
Men are empathetic. They're human. Your sons have emotions. Let them.
says a woman
@@kshitijshekhar1144exactly they are literally contributing to this mess.
Just to add....a proper man cries sometimes, and it’s not human always to be strong. He can call upon the love and support of the women in his life and other men when he needs it - men are human beings too! Love and luck to all you boys out there, I don’t underestimate the challenges you face.
Jesus loves all of you repent of your sins which is bad things belive that God raised Jesus from the dead and confess Jesus as lord and you will be saved.
I teared up when he started talking about the boy that lost his mother and his own father yelled at him for crying. DX
@Project AcuHope it's not needed here, move along.
@@Abdulrahman11717 Didn't ask, Abodoodoo.
@@Abdulrahman11717 real men are capable of crying
@@dpcisunbreakable Real men are abusive, apparently.
@@Abdulrahman11717 And who are you to dictate what any grown man does? Focus on your own existence, the only ace your moral compass is relevant.
Interestingly enough, a number of decades ago, pink was more a masculine colour and blue more feminine. When you think of it, pink is a lighter shade of red being a dominant and aggressive color VS blue being more calm and passive, so its interesting how they flipped in terms of which gender they were associated with.
People tend to forget this aspect of history.
it changed from pale pink to blue around the same time birthmothers stopped nursing themselves and wetnurses started dressing boys in dresses tresses and caps
@divyanshu pandey That's the stereotype you have in head. Colors are just colors. Nature doesn't originate colors to create a borderline and distributing the colors also to a specific gender. Red tends to be bolder and blue is a calm one. I, as an individual likes to be calm and composed, while many times when I going to or get into trouble, I become passive-aggressive but I take bolder actions in front of people who try to belittle me. I like blue color and associate with my identity because it connects well with who I am from within, my core. Again, colors are just colors. Don't corrupt yourself with what people around you say. If you feel like wearing pink, wear it, flaunt it off if you want but be proud of what you like.
Jesus loves all of you repent of your sins which is bad things belive that God raised Jesus from the dead and confess Jesus as lord and you will be saved.
Thank you very much for sharing your story with Jason Gaddis. I have listened to you on his latest podcast. I love the openness and the real opportunities for men to gain insight and develop changes for connections, learning true Masculine and Feminine polarity and emotional intelligence is the true meaning of completeness. I didn't get to fully experience the best possibility of what you are personally teaching. Money and Status changed my life, the man turned on me within the first year of marriage. I was not aware of anyone who has changed my life but luckily I was smart enough to figure out abuse and complete betrayal which was a true feeling of being . brainwashed. That didn't make me stay stuck, 7 months of being walked over, I walked out purely by strong virtuous motivation and what strength I had left. How do successful intellectual men feel when causing pain upon innocent and loving women! I kept asking him if he rather be right than happy... he just couldn't be wrong and hated me for not complying with his ways. I guess love, commitment and loyalty without any remorse for my loss in this has no matter or means for people who are living a double life (lie). Never wanted the money or the status but I did spend six full years showing someone what love is despite the psychology abuse that started after his vows. Gaining any closure from the man I held space for to love, give my heart and soul to was my gift, price tag not included. My virtues was what he loved, but I bet you there's a lot of truth said for once. One day, I can be a part of a team like yours to help spread the word. My marriage was full-time passion, the story backfired the day he started working with High Profile ALPHA Statuses which is not ANYTHING that I signed up for. The emotional "sensitive" woman, 100% secure and open about my vulnerabilities became his nervous habit he was not having. The divorce process is now here. I have a physical disabilty and he has everything handed to him including the bank. I walk away with my integrity and my sense of self. This used to be a life sentence but I am so glad I did the work to overcome the most difficult part of many people who are suffering from abusive and Wo-man-haters. Its too bad this message was not able to get out to him and many more that experience the realization of marriage and deception of men who will never fully understand or do the work for themselves and their victims. thank you for sharing your story and sharing your wisdom because the younger generation of boys need to learn that a real man is not what old generations and even my own generation have desperately needed to be a part of. Great Work
My ex boyfriend was an amazing beautiful guy, tall, strong and what I love most about him a very empathic and sensitive. I always told him only real men are men enough to wear pink. He loved to wear a pink polo shirt and he looked great in it. He stopped wearing it when his dad started to make fun of him because he was wearing pink. Is it really brave to be scared of a color?
he's not scared of the colour, he doesn't want to disappoint his dad
There is a reason he is your "Ex" lol. Ive seen this happen hundreds of times
@@Fanboy-ek9yf lol so true, the level of cognitive dissonance these modern women have is astounding. The only reason she was with him was because he was tall, strong and handsome.
Once he started to sing I couldn't help myself crying
Connor Beaton is one of those men whom we women desire! He is not afraid showing his kind and sonft side. That needs strength! Showing any other feeling is easy. Never forget that, male chauvinists. You look down on us women? Guess who look down on you!
Understood. But you gotta be real about the situation. Even if he wasn't that way, he still gets a pass......right? 😏
I encourage men to show their kind, soft side and rebuild the brotherhood, though it should not be because of what women view as desirable, rather it should be for men's own self-interest. If these things prevent men from destroying themselves or anyone else, then come what may. I don't care what you personally find desirable, rather I want the Andrew Tates to no longer have de facto monopoly on the masculine identity.
I've been wondering about this picture for a while. What is masculinity? I know that here in Finland, where I live, alcoholism, social exclusion and domestic violence are all very common and associated with men. All of them, I believe however, are mostly symptoms of mental problems that lie deep within. Men are facing struggles that are not articulated enough.
This video helped me with acknowledging the problems whereas I already saw and understood the symptoms around the subject. I see now that machoism is a very big factor here but I wonder, where does it come from?
Thank you for enlightening me!!!
@UltArcRanger stop playing the victim role and start acting upon your own values, you don’t have to be admired by women just learn to be yourself and to be ethical no matter what.
Connor Beaton this is such a moving talk. Love how you have touched upon so many taboo subjects de-shrouding the shame and giving a voice to so many myths around misplaced superiority which leads to loneliness, abuse and pain. Keep singing my friend!!! Your voice needs to be heard!! Thank you.
obviously you don't care about this talk after making comments trying to persuade people his talk isn't valuable. I'm sorry you're feeling triggered by what was obviously a very moving talk.
hahahha crazy lefties
@@awakenedwoman8856 You drunk?!
Thank you for this straightforward lecture on toxic masculinity Connor! As a fellow male, I admire you greatly, keep up the good work! One can be masculine and loving and caring, and as a matter of fact, loving and showing kindness to those we dislike or cannot stand or hate takes a lot of strength, guts, character AND BALLS! Men or women, we all have limits and weaknesses and abilities and strengths, and all should be acknowledged and accepted.
Being a man is knowing when to be kind and when to fight.
@@CallMeMrX yes
@@CallMeMrX True!!!
damn! conor just busts out in opera. nice! being a man means having the courage to have the real conversations and face the music. so many great role models on youtube.
Connor is not a role model. No youth should look up to him.
He's a little fruity
@The Bearded Weirdo coaster freak. Study some literature about testosterone before u use it as an argument please.
he has a good opera voice.
@@loredelamore No one should listen to you either.
In terms of the wolf thing; dominance theory has been disproven. Packs work as a dynamic family unit, and I would definitely work on finding a better example.
Watch some documentaries, there is clearly a boss.
The pack actually requires this boss to function properly, look at sled dogs, same thing, if the owner doesn't physically reinforce the heirarchy, the dogs will actually kill each other.
@happy hare Yeah, I am talking about a sled dog pack made up of a number of dogs from different family units, in which case the structure of the pack itselt needs to be managed properly in order to avoid clashes and disputes between dogs of different social ranks.
You are correct in that famiky wolf packs the breeding male and female would be considered the 'alpha' wolves.
I disagree, Kate. I see this as an example of healthy male leadership--following the tribe, watching, bringing along the stragglers. Recall that he said the equivalent in our society is the lone wolf; nowhere present in this picture.
Kate Follot
I think you are looking at his example wrong. He was talking about the pack as the unit that follows what the leader of the pack tells them to do...but with the proper type of authority. But the wolf that walks alone (not the one in the back), he is one we can’t see because he is not with the pack, because he is too violent. The one in the back isn’t the lone wolf...he is the leader of a very large, healthy pack because of his communications with his pack. I thought it was a really good analogy, if you look at it that way.
@@classicalgas8297 To equate our behavior with animals', is to believe that humans are animal-like.
Why to be called ''animal'' is an insult, then?
If you think we are animals, you cannot be made to understand anything.
Unlike animals we work for continuous betterment and improvement.
Kate is right on ‘’family as dynamic unit’’.
Thank you Conner. Shared this with our wider community and Men's Circle.
Jesus loves all of you repent of your sins which is bad things belive that God raised Jesus from the dead and confess Jesus as lord and you will be saved.
I get what he's trying to convey here but I became happier when I started to lead more masculine life a few years ago. Being proud of being a man. Embracing it even. I'm still of course kind to others. I'm not bullying anyone, quite the opposite. Men and women are different and deep down we like things being that way.
Vestu
I believe you’re generalizing your beliefs. Most people would rather work towards equality
Thank you Connor, I feel calmed to have connected and be left empowered by you and your beautiful voice. To the countless hours spent prepare this intelligent talk and the many years leading up to this success, I thank you and everyone that has supported you to get this far. Many will live a much more fulfilling and proactive lifestyle after hearing these passionate words, thank you. Power to you brother!
Thanks Zak! I really appreciate you. Im glad that the talk landed for you and hope that it has will help shift some people perspectives. #ideasworthspreading
Jesus loves all of you repent of your sins which is bad things belive that God raised Jesus from the dead and confess Jesus as lord and you will be saved.
Brilliantly spoken Connor! Great job!
Jesus loves all of you repent of your sins which is bad things belive that God raised Jesus from the dead and confess Jesus as lord and you will be saved.
Thank you. These contenta should be spread widely.
This is an important talk with a timely message everyone - meaning all men and women - needs to hear. Well done Connor, for shining a light on this topic that desperately needs it. Great job my friend! Congratulations on your huge achievement!
Thanks David, Appreciate you brother.
I disagree with the video, feminism is not the answer.
loredelamore can you please tell me what it is that you think feminism is? Define it for me.
@@ShaylaAsh people that don't have logical capacity are feminism's best customers.
Those who possesses high agreeableness and subscribe to group think are feminism's poster children.
Reality is a feminist's worst nightmare.
@@lockandloadlikehell You assume that someone doesn't have a capacity for logic just because they are connected to their emotional selves, when having bothe logic AND emotions gives you balance. But go off with what you learned in jail today.
My god, I cannot express enough how much this spoke to me.
Terrific message. Thank you!
I'm proud of my masculinity cos it's part and partial to what makes me a man
No one is attacking you for your masculinity. Relax.
But I never said anyone was, I'm just expressing my pride for it. That's all
I think it is a beautiful thing. Being self-aware, self-compassionate, and having self-esteem are really these things we, as men, should start doing a bit more.
@@giandomenicociccone1190 Yeah we should
I've often been told to man up when ever I've showed and displayed tender emotions simply cos that's the attitude society has towards me due to the fact that I'm a man but that's the attitude society has towards men in general
I feel that all the characteristics that you stated (retaliation, aggression, lack of empathy, etc.) was to ensure that the men will end up being good warriors/soldiers(or more appropriately weapons) as that was one of the main purposes of men back in the day. However these values weren't changed/updated as society changed/evolved and now those who try to adopt those values find themselves out of place.
Those values are not for soldiers but “survivors.” If you want to survive in this world, you have to suppress emotions and empathy. Your job is to survive, and provide for your family. Nothing more.
Feminism is not a threat or death to men. Thank you for that!
Radical feminism is though
Read up on it. Radical feminists had more hope for men than anyone else.
This message was nothing but the truth!👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿
''pietà, rispetto, amore'' means Pity, Respect, Love-
I'm certainly one of these men who thought about suicide, just being honest plus I'm not much of a fighter but I still consider myself to be very manly and only being honest with that too
Good talk, and good examples in the personal stories and especially the wolf pack. The explanation of the alpha wolf vs. the lone wolf finally makes sense. Also, the singing was masculine and wonderful.
Jesus loves all of you repent of your sins which is bad things belive that God raised Jesus from the dead and confess Jesus as lord and you will be saved.
Great talk, Connor. Great work at Man Talks!
Thanks Douglas, I appreciate the comment! Glad you enjoyed it.
Here I am at three am with the window open questioning why my fears, incomprehensible compared to everything else control me so much. No matter how I acknowledge them I cannot overcome them, this isn't like killing something, or picking up an animal, or dancing in front of a crowd, no matter how hard I push myself I am unable to come out to people close to me about what I like, why
Why is this my greatest obstacle, it isn't physically hard, I know for a fact nobody will care, but what will happen
masculinity is being able to be a independent man. to understand that they are capable of dominating any situation, not to say bullying or intimidation. but as a right of passage to be self sufficient.. the dominant male will survive in any situation..
This TedX is the most powerful man talk I've come across. I forwarded it to the man in my life. And your voice is a slice of heaven. I felt something stir deep in my soul, just beautiful. Thank you for this TedX. Happy Holidays to you and your family as well as your friends. 🌱🌿🌲💫❤
I love the picture and description of the wolf pack. Machismo really is negative for everyone and this talk explains it very well.
Machismo is a good thing when it is harnessed and directed positively, it should not be suppressed.
@@the_g371 How so? Explain your point? Otherwise I can just ignore your narrow-minded comment and move on.
@@CallMeMrX Not really.
Why does every ted talk about masculinity gets so many hate comments? Does it hurt male ego? 😂
Yes.
yes, fragile male egos can't cope
Maybe because the idea of being a man differs for every place and so some people will heavily disagree with someone else's views on what it means to be a man 🤔
Being the man they wish to be is a choice that every man can, and should, make.
@Felix Holloway not really. Different societies have different norms for their people tho because of globalisation those have probably grown closer together I can imagine
I need to take this advice haha. Great lecture and he understands many peoples situations so well. Amazing confidence and effort man. Thanks for all the help!😄👍
A really important talk. Thank you Connor for your life's project and delivering this important message to the world. So proud of you- Galya ;)
Thanks Galya! Appreciate the shout out.
Jesus loves all of you repent of your sins which is bad things belive that God raised Jesus from the dead and confess Jesus as lord and you will be saved.
GREAT, GREAT SPEECH! We all definitely need to start thinking about that and taking an action towards a solution!
Thanks Lorenna! Feel free to share :)
Jesus loves all of you repent of your sins which is bad things belive that God raised Jesus from the dead and confess Jesus as lord and you will be saved.
Us young men today are re-shaping the ideals of manhood, and it feels damn good to be a part of it. Great video.
I don't think the problem or reasons for depression in men is due to the fact we suppress our emotions and feeling.
There are biological reasons that men do not share our feelings as freely as women.
It does no good to the family to bring your feelings back to the cave.
Men do talk about things, when they are good and ready, don't push them.
I believe the reason depression rates are so high in men is because they are struggling to find a place in this world, and often feel unfulfilled.
Men need to be loved for who they are, and what they are.
Absolutely. You're supposed to find that solace in other men or your life partner yet the age of the internet destroyed those two safe havens. I talk about anything less than positivity around men and I'm a Debbie Downer and women don't respect that whiny stuff either. Where can a man go to say "I'm not happy right now" and be accepted?
What are those biological reasons specifically?
@@nikola4362 yes, I'm wondering about these biological reasons too. I'm not convinced.
There are no biological reasons why we don't share our feelings. Your total statement contradicts itself. What a bunch of rubbish. If you can't bring your feelings back to the cave, then the cave failed you.
I teared up multiple times watching this.
Randy Vollrath that is so cute. 😘
Beautifully done! We need more of this!
I love it - the interpretation of the picture with the wolves is actually incorrect, but doesn't matter. He's making a point and nature DOES have its own definition of "alpha" male, which is NOT alpha in the sense of being the most successful bully...
Great work man! Thanks for sharing.
Thanks Cam!
Great talk Connor! Such an important conversation - by sharing your own story you are changing the way men see vulnerability. Here's to more conversations like these.xoxo
Jesus loves all of you repent of your sins which is bad things belive that God raised Jesus from the dead and confess Jesus as lord and you will be saved.
This video is 5 years old and isn't even at 1 million views. What even. Probably cause people have the fear of watching this and/or don't want to share about it because it might hurt their masculinity. I nearly cried and wanted to hug that 12 year old when he talked about it.
Love this speech! Thank you so much for sharing.
Inspiring talk! Sharing it now!
Thanks for the shout out DudeBuddha!
This is one TEDTalk all young boys should have the chance to listen to growing up. If more young men could have role models in their lives such as you Connor, this world would see a real shift in the way men move and show up in the world. Bravo for this powerful truth telling.
Wrong role model
To all the haters here: When you earn your own TED talk, I'll be more than happy to entertain your viewpoints.
Connor: Thank you for the insightful presentation. It is clearly a monumental task to succinctly cover all aspects of your philosophy inside of 18 minutes.
What haters? This comment section is littered with almost nothing but praise lol
What because I can cry at everything makes the world a better place please!
Great voice and powerful message.
Great video! A lot of boys also try and be what girls might want. At an early age I noticed the bigger guys not only getting girls but girls wanting those kinds of guys. And It's not only that I didn't want to cry in front of the other boys but also in front of the girls. From the suicide percentages, I wonder if most we're single, and if maybe having a girlfriend would've helped. Standards are pretty high nowadays, and tv/films aren't helping. When there is more than one sibling in the house, like a brother and sister, if the father is telling the boy ..."like a man", then the sister is also learning that's how a real man should be. Or if girls don't learn "like a man" from home they'll see it in movies or with other kids at school. Which may lead them later on to deny the nice guys and choose the "manly" guys. It's a chain reaction. I see national campaigns on "like a girl" (or similar) but yet haven't seen a campaign for "like a man".
Shshshs, don't Don't break the rules. Men are never victims, we are always the victimizers in the patriarchy!
It's true - women are conditioned to expect (and try to desire) from men the same things that other men do, then wonder why they are chronically unhappy and dissatisfied in relationships. Women need to "grow some balls" in terms of valuing and respecting men who demonstrate the capacity to think, act, and feel in ways that are human and appropriate to the situation (as in tenderness and cooperation with family and friends, but strength and determination in the face of an enemy/crisis. And yes, women need to develop this dual skill set as well...) People need to stop being sheep by letting other people, media, pop culture define for them what is valuable, acceptable, and desirable. Define for yourself what feels right, just, and worth having, and then stand by those values.
177 male ego's have been hurt by this video.
About the Alpha, Omega and all that stuff.
The actual scientist, or researcher idk, who discovered the existence of Alpha, Beta, Omega and those things in animal ACTUALLY discovered that they don't exist, the 'Alphas' were just parents
The actual scientist, or researcher idk,
Ma piantala😂
The italian word "pietà" actually means pity/compassion, could have worked just as well.
That was a great video! The best I have heard in a long time.
Thank you for all you said.
Gorgeous singing!
Thank You and Big Love Brother ♡
This talk is absolutely amazing. I’m glad I found it.
I just found talk and let me tell you it was beautifully beautifully received I absolutely was so impressed to see such a balanced and heart man with soul and Spirit bursting from every quantum conscious innate DNA as cellular structure. If I was to aspire to have the boys and countenance that this gentleman has shared with all of us I could only be a more macro cosmic human being and only for the better and for the souls evolution thank you Connor thank you thank you thank you ⛲⛲⛲🦚🦚🦚🦚🦚
Inspired. Your words gave me chills.
He's attractive and good to listen to.
Thank you for this!!
Absolutely incredible and totally right
And suddenly I’m your fan Conor
So easy for this guy to say with a face and body like that. No, men do not have to be violent and isolated, but notice how he still puts value in an alpha figure. That's what most people would see him as in a small group. That's what women, even feminists, want. This talk accomplishes nothing.
Enlightening video!
Rubbish just another thing for women to beef and bash men with
Mark Robson why do you write that?
@@BeGlamourlicious maybe because he is driving stereotypes. And even you are, like in your previous comment you narrated how only men who wear pink are man enough or are real man. Imagine if a guy says a women is women enough only if she does certain things. Instead you should be feeling ashamed that you are such narrow minded to call a man enough only if he wears pink.
Love th talk, thanks for sharing.
Wow, thank you!
I honour, respect and love everything you've said! :)
actually "pietà" means pity/compassion
Great talk brother, it’s heart broken reality ❤️❤️
GREAT talk mate!!!
Handsome and eloquent...
Thank you
I dunno, I mean singing can be pretty masculine, I mean, Frank Sinatra from the 40's to 60's was pretty masculine
Yet who was Sinatra's most infamous patron
@@JordanWindhamBenford Who?
@@bdb5678 i think he's trying to bring up Sam Giacana, an infamous Chicago mobster. they weren't a patron though, they were really good friends. Sinatra basically knew all the big names in organized crime.
@@itshunni8346 ill have to check out this Giacana fellow. Cheers!
Such an amazing talk thank you Connor Beaton what beautifull masculinity you have shown Love Honer & Respect xo
The new and improved way to get your Opera Day View!
I want to hold that baby that lost his mom.
I never heared this in my country im aware of we dont cry and stuff but if u lost someone half of the students in your school and prob all your friends will help and support you.
yo this guy's amazing
I Can't believe this only has 237K views
I do fear girls from my early childhood. Absolute fear for opposite gender from childhood. so I started respecting girls like every girl in the world is my sister only the one to whom I may get marry. but every time I see girl I respecting them and think if like that girl is crime and then my emotions getting badly hurt. so started seeing down but not in the eyes or face because its a crime. but now I see that this is now my integral part of life like dumb a mad. do society accept dumb or mad no it no not at all. so values I accepted were true right but it made me a shit. this journey of respecting girl was helped by so called society of Indian standard, just helping me to forget one day I will turn into a men. but I say they are very much closer to their goal of making a boy into a dumb men. I don't have proper friends I have time with only me and no friends.
That man is handsome
Yes indeed!!!
I wish I looked like him
Unfortunately we can't all be handsome but I'll be handsome to some women out there
@@joshuadaltilia8480 Whether someone does or not... You deserve to love yourself. Look in the mirror and embrace the natural features you're gifted by nature and work on the flaws that are created by some mistakes for example no skincare or self-care in general. The definition of handsome per se doesn't justify the true natural qualities you possess in you being organic.
Connor, great talk I thoroughly enjoyed it and I really appreciate all that you are doing to help men. Also thank you for the brief aria.
I do want to take issue with one of your first statements that said, “Most boys and young men are taught that their highest value as a man is their ability to dominate, to control and to succeed at all costs.” I can say, with all honesty, that I wasn’t taught that in any of my schooling or by my parents. I’ve also asked a few men that I know and none of them were taught that way either. I’m going to suggest that this is one of the belief’s that the Feminist movement implemented to aide their cause and in fact “most” young men and boys are not taught that. Now many people believe it as the truth for most men and boys. Its not to say that some boys weren’t raised that way, as I’m sure there were. It’s also unfortunate that one of your first public singing engagements was responded to by a bully, whose parents obviously didn’t do a very good job of raising their son. There have always been bullies and their numbers are probably increasing as our family units are deteriorating.
Again I say, great talk and you made some excellent points, the last ½ of the talk was EXCELLENT. BTW, The little boy whose mom died had a father that was in a lot of pain and didn’t know how to lead his son by example. For us to think that all/most boys are raised like this is wrong. This is clearly an example of what NOT to do. Thanks again.
@Project AcuHopelet's focus on the actual concern here, their absence. How about services to support them as fathers is something that is a significant deficit in this country because so many people are preoccupied with this antiquated view of the family unit without giving the concept the possibility to evolve and include different types of families.
@Project AcuHope support services for these fathers. You know, respite care, groups, counseling services etc.
I'm all for men being more in touch with their sensitive side and their emotions. That being said, there has to coexist a side that can be dangerous. It's like Aslan that CS Lewis wrote about, he said "Aslan is good but not safe." I grew up in an environment of very masculine men, and I was never once taught that I have to dominate or bully anyone. I think this guy manipulates the math and the antagonist to better frame his speech. He made some good points, but his stated major problems for men were a bit skewed. I'm a singer and have been since I was a kid, and I've never once heard that singing was just for girls. Bullies will be bullies, they are not the symbols of masculinity that boys follow.
there was a math error. he says men are four times more likely to commit suicide then goes on to say 3/4 of suicides were men
Men have more successful suicides than women, where as men are only slightly more likely to attempt suicide than women.
He is talking about the tendency to commit suicide. But actual numbers are 3/4 of suicides are men.
Nice talkshow
it's sad some men actually think this guy is speaking truth :/ men are open around other men they trust, not in public or around women(other than long term partner) trust your brothers, not others.
If you don't have brothers or a unit of men you can trust, this is not applicable.
Great talk l thank you
I am posting this comment before I watch the video, I am going to make a few guesses about this video.
He will go over the hollywood steryotypical idea's of manliness (Which I have found to be b.s.). He will talk about how men are taught to not talk about their "feelings" without delving into the physical disconnect between the migdula and prefrontal cortex which makes verbalizing emotion more difficult in men.
He will undoubtably not cover masculinity as it apears cross culturally.
He will talk about suicide, and shootings but will not delve into why this is a new phenomena.
I doubt he will address divorce and the negative impact widespread single mothers have had on todays "men".
Hahaha... pretty much spot on...
Well maybe because at some point, grown men stop blaming single mothers or any external source to scapegoat their dysfunctional behavior, and change their behavior to make their lives function. Maybe you should do the same thing.
Simply Outstanding! Thank you x3 (million). Thank you for your courage. It is people like you who just might save the world....
Great talk, and as a woman: you're welcome. 😁
It's really hard for me to talk with my boyfriend about this, though. He feels masculinity is such a part of who he is that when I talk about how some behaviors being labeled "masculine" is capable of causing harm, he gets defensive immediately. He turns the tables and says "women have toxic behavior, too."
I just wish he would hear me and try to relate, he doesn't even have to agree. I'm not attacking him. But somehow I always end up being the one to apologize...
It is a part of who he is. Violence has nothing to do with male behaviour since women can also be violent. There is no such thing as toxic masculinity
@Mike John soy boy.
Be proud of his masculinity, he's your man, and one day he may need that masculinity to protect you.
don't turn your boyfriend into a beta. As soon as that happens youre gonna be gone for the first alpha that doesn't whine all the time.
9:10 wait a minute that's not how math works....
Conscious cultivated womans can edducate support and lead thank you for having the courage to educate your self and spread the learning lessons
I think this might be an out dated idea of how wolf packs work.
I'm not from Seattle and lots of others too but I don't get how people scream that they want change and diversity however it looks like there's still lots of people that are of the same types of people doing the same things and having the same attitudes which doesn't make any sense. It's hard to get a date but also just as hard to keep a date which could turn into a relationship. Seems as if people are proud to have rights but are working so much especially in the winter and spring which lasts more than 6 months and then ladies really don't want to date anyone for love but more likely because they have a car/ van or cheap apartment to keep them warm. Though I can see the need for survival I think people are really insecure and don't muster up the right amount of courage to make your own circumstances better- without selling out to lower standards. There is something to say about what a book says: "Turn from me and I will hand you over to the one that hates you." People in general have this religious or not philosophy which doesn't do enough to save us from the city's demise.
Kyle Miller I don’t get your comment at all.
I love this! So many points hit home for me there, we could all definitely learn a thing or two from this. Thank you Conor! 👍 (p.s, you're very cute) lol :)
Whay, thank You...