They excuse it by saying "It's ok, we're family, we can do whatever the hell we want. And you just to have to take it." Really pathetic. My dad, his girlfriend, one of his brothers and their now, late mother made excuses for dad's manure.
Thank you for this video. This perfectly describes my family. My father is a narcissist. My mother after 31 years of marriage and three kids finally divorced him. Unfortunately for me I was the scapegoat in the children. I wish I had watched this video 7 years ago to give me a better understanding on what would have happened when I 'Divorced' him. He blamed me for his lost marriage. When my mother left him the flying monkeys came out in droves. I didn't realize at the time, never talking to my father again also would alienate my entire family, which includes 30+ people all the sudden saying that I was the one to ruin my parents marriage. Your story with 'cousin Mable' was almost word to word of a conversation I had with one of my aunts. Anyway thank you so much for your videos, they are helping me understand better that I'm not crazy, they're the ones with something wrong with them. Using the term 'Flying Monkey' is so spot on I laughed. Thanks!!
Thank you for putting words to this. I left my ENTIRE life behind to get away from the narc and monkeys - and to stay alive. He still haunts me. It would be nice to have the kind of support services you offer, however, most of us are left not only broken but financially broke as well with limited resources. This is a huge problem in domestic abuse recovery; not enough help available to heal.
+Barbara Grace I agree with you that help and support can be so hard to find. For me its worse because I am in the UK and all the you tube help is USA. I wish there were more local support groups like perhaps Narcissist abuse anonymous.
Aw, God bless you... from Colorado, the land of medical cannabis --- which might help you. Hash oil cured me of cancer (two types), and helps me cope with intense chronic pain, without any poisonous pills. Also, my great sadness at losing all of my family and friends (after I told the narcs I was born again) is much ameliorated. Heal!
Taking things a step further, you have to watch there aren't other narcissists (or worse) among these flying monkeys, especially if there's an outright bullying element going on, they can smell easy meat especially if they've managed to isolate you. Try not a accept help off these people, be very careful what you say to them they'll be looking for ways to isolate or generally cause you difficulties. If there's bullying you have to stand up to them as they're pathetic individuals who will think twice if there's consequences but will try to gas light you if you seek help in others.
in another venue -the work environment this is describing bullies and mobbing. in a way more traumatic if it destroys ones job.career. reputation. health. especially finances..and usually possible future prospects. especially unethical is when HR etc. uses gaslight ing to avoid liability for supporting the victimizer/... and giving credence to the flying monkeys. the minions want to keep their jobs and like the Stanley Milligram situation project group think.
SeraphimTheOrthodox It is our job to learn from their mistakes and not repeat them. --End the cycle with you! There is nothing you can do but just walk away from those who do not have your best interest at heart. It takes a lot of strength but it takes time to heal from attachments of suffering. Attachment is suffering you need not to suffer anymore. I speak from my own experience. Prayers 🙏🏻
What a relief it is to hear this video, for all I feel in my heart is relief, relief, relief....that I am not alone in dealing with this...This video is so comforting to watch and listen to, for the simple realization that you are not alone, and there are people that not only care, but care to help you understand these dynamics that really devastate you, and bring you a lot of heartache, hurt, and pain....With truth, there is understanding, with understanding there is validation, and with validation there is relief, and with relief there is healing....thank you for caring about those out there, like myself that need to heal their hearts from such painful dynamics in their lives....
I loathe these people with a passion. Man, I may hate them more or equally to the person that's pulling the strings. What do they get out of being a gofer, or an errand boy for the manipulator? The whole scenario shows how crazy and gullible these people pretend to be. Pretty ridiculous.
Me too. Hatred intense at times but this can end up poisoning you, so you end up no better than they are. Don't allow what they want i.e. to destroy you in this way.
Thank you so much. It made a lot clear to me. I went no contact with my brother after he didn't listen to me when I spoke to him about a problem I had with my father's girlfriend. My brother refused to listen and explained "his" opinion about the case. So he showed me that he was already informed by my father's GF. He judged me not knowing what really had happened and not hearing my version. So I went no contact with him. BUT now it comes: weeks later my father called me by accident, probably had his finger on the "call" button by accident, whilst they were talking on Skype about me and my sisters. Since I could listen to them creating their smear campaign I finally have the entire truth which helps me to stop my doubts about the flying monkeys in our family. The most active and abusive "leader" of that smear campaign is my father's girlfriend who tries to "exclude" me and my sisters out of the family and to reach that in persuading my father that we are only keen on his money so she makes our father being against us and my brother is singing her song playing the flying monkey! They didn't realize that I was listening via the cellphone of my father. Now since I know what's really happening behind the curtains I'll never let my brother back into my life and when I see my father (he's 83) I only do "smalltalk" and don't give any relevant information about my life, since I know he'll bring everything about me to these "Wolfes". One day when he'll be going to die I'll tell him that I knew everything and that's a shame that he excluded his own 3 daughters and believed his girlfriend who was not our mother and even didn't know us at all. Currently my brother is enjoying being the "golden child" and getting all the attention of our father, it might seem to being a success but it's an evil one.
MsAngelIsFree Good Luck with that. A narc will believe their own truth and they will not see any error in their ways. Yet, I hope she does. I hope she doesn’t use this advice against you. Prayers for your troubles.
This is true. All of what you describe is true . Therefore , will you yourself fly over , weekly,to help me with my survival shopping . Just for your information , the social security system on all aspects of decent living is darned expensive ! Providing that we want to live a life , not only survive. Things must be seen in their right context . It is easy to speak words of wisdom from a safe distance! Living with the mean is something else.
Your videos are wonderful and are simply an enormous benefit to this community! I've honestly learned more about recovery on UA-cam than in all the years of therapy I've had combined. All the therapists at Family Tree are great-and each of you offers a different perspective-but the same lessons. I'm very thankful to have found your site at a time that I really needed someone to tell me "what the heck happened here" and how I came to be so abused by the very people who purported to love me. NOT! I've had a lot of " aha" moments watching these! Thank you!
Wonderful advice! Thank you! I especially like the idea of showing empathy to the flying monkeys. So many of us in abusive homes get targeted because we are the sensitive/empathetic ones in the family. Responding to the flying monkeys with empathy seems to play well to our strengths. I know that that strategy definitely plays to my skills. I plan to try next time I have the misfortune of dealing with a flying monkey.
Thank you for helping me to learn how to deal with my MN sister who is doing everything she can to prevent me from fulfilling my mother's wishes, who had a major stroke. She had gone no contact since she has learned that my brother and I have POA. Since she can't manipulate me (I am handling the care of my mother), she's now trying to manipulate him into rescinding life giving medication. It took me quite some time to convince him that her lies about me were not true. His red flag for the current manipulation was when she tried to plant a seed in his mind about the necessary medication. She seems to think she has the trump card since we live out of town and she is close by.
Thanks ! Anyway. 💜 All of these " I know better" -types of jerks can come over to give me a helping hand in order for me to live at my own home. They come in various sizes, shapes , n colours
Great advice, thank you. I have so many narcs in my life, and am now trying to deal with the fact my mom is one, as well my daughter. It's very difficult when you have the "wake up" moment and realize, that this is how your family has been operating your whole life. I have no family and no friends, not one. There is so much destruction, the worst being my emotional destruction and deteriorating health due to the Narcs.
I feel your pain. This is why I didn’t have children, I knew that my narc parent and golden child sister would alienate the child against me. Hope that you are doing better now and God bless. You have an authentic self and these cluster Bs do not, see yourself as being a genuine person and after you build back your self esteem you will attract healthy people in your life
Just realizing my mom is a narrssist. I was an only child so my mom had to seek outsiders to use... idk. just know your not broken. maybe cracked or twisted in some ways. Normal people are boring anyway :) keep your head up.
My narc sibling constantly uses my farther to set me up for a fall, I certainly don't fall for the bs anymore. Usually it will be the offer of a family trip or a gathering etc with narc sibling , and before I used to get my hopes up and then my narc would act as if I had no idea what I was talking about, denying that an offer was ever made in the first place. Most recently it was an offer for us all to fly to Ireland and my Narc sibling would pay the way for everything, and the key lynch pin that made me laugh was that if I couldn't get off of work to just quit and get a new job when I got back. You see if I said ok , the tables would have turned on me right then and there, and they would have said I was not responsible ,cant hold a job etc. I told my father that I was not interested in traveling any where with my sibling ,because it is an abusive ass , before you know it my father said well I cant fly that far anyway. He Really had no interest in going either. The whole thing was a non existent sham there was never any trip etc it was just a test to see if I would fall fore the same old bait. unbelievable
THANK YOU SO VERY VERY MUCH FOR THIS VIDEO.I HAVE LITERALLY HAD TO LIVE AT LEAST THE LAST SIX YEARS BEING THE WORST YEARS OF MY ENTIRE LIFE TRYING TO DEAL WITH A SISTER THAT IS EAT UP WITH NARCISSIM AND I DIDNT UNDERSTAND IT ALL OR EXACTLY HOW TO DEAL WITH ANY OF THE SITUATIONS SHES PUT ME IN.I GUESS IF I HAD UNDERSTOOD THE WAY A NARC WORKS AND THE WAY THEY THINK IN ORDER TO WORK AT THE EVIL WAYS OF DOING, I COULD HAVE HAD A MORE PEACEFUL,LESS CONFLICTED LIFE THAT SHE S PUT ME THROUGH.IN REALITY I HAVE A SICK AND TWISTED SISTER,GIVEN BY HER AND ONLY HER REASONS ON TOP OF REASONS TO HATE HER FOR THE EVIL HUMAN BEING SHE IS BUT I CANT HATE ANYONE.I SUFFER FROM SEVERE DEPRESSION THAT JUST CRIPPLED MY LIFE,I WAS DIAGNOSED YEARS AGO.SINCE THEN IVE BEEN IN AND OUT OF HOSPITAL,TAKING ONLY PRESCRIBED MEDICATION, I EVEN WENT THROUGH TEN MONTHS OF SHOCK TREATMENTS TO MY BRAIN.ITS JUST LIKE I TOLD MY DOCTOR IN CHARGE, NO MATTER WHAT I DO SEEKING HELP FOR ME,EVERYTHING I DO WILL NOT CURE ME IF I HAVE TO KEEP BEING ASSOCIATED WITH WHATEVER OR WHOEVER IS BRINGING ME DOWN.MY LIFE IS LIKE A ROLLERCOASTER.,ONCE I GET TO A HIGH POINT AND TRUST THAT IM GOING TO BE OK I END UP TAKING THAT FAST PLUNGE RIGHT BACK TO THE BOTTOM .I HAVE NEVER BELIEVED THAT IN ORDER TO BE HAPPY THE ONLY WAY TO DO THAT WOULD BE TO CONSTANTLY BE INTENTIONALLY DOING OR SAYING NEGATIVE THINGS TO HURT SOMEONE ELSE FOR MY OWN PERSONAL GAIN.THAT HAS NEVER BEEN ME, ONLY MY SISTER.WITH THAT BEING SAID IVE BEEN SO LOST NOT KNOWING WHICH WAY THE LIGHT AT THE END OF MY TUNNEL COULD POSSIBLY BE FOR I HAVE BEEN IN SEARCH OF IT FOR A LONG TIME.I FEEL LIKE WATCHING THIS VIDEO HAS GIVE ME SOME UNDERSTANDING THAT I DIDNT KNOW TO ALREADY HAVE AND I HAVE A LITTLE MORE HOPE.I PRAY THAT I LEAVE THIS PRISON OF FLESH IVE BEEN TRAPPED IN FOR MOST LIFE BEFORE LONG,SO THAT I CAN MOVE ON TO MY HAPPY PLACE.A PLACE THAT I KNOW ONCE I GET THERE I WONT HAVE TO DEAL WITH THE LIKES OF MY EVIL SISTER BECAUSE WHERE IM GOING,SHE CAN NEVER GET THERE.
I'm never that "curious". I'm much more direct. Anyone who knows me would know I'm being phony by pretending to be confused. This makes it difficult to keep content out.
God bless! I shared your post with my audience. I like how you provided the tips on what to say--that is key especially with those busybodies who haven't made contact in a long time and then out of the blue they want to know something--lol. Thanks again!
None of my brothers & sisters will speak to me without narcissistic parents present. If there is an occasion, I'm doing all the talking met with uh huh. The discussion could be any topic.
My X is Narcissist. He used the system to take the children. Everyday they walk on glass in their environment. They are always punished. If they don't accept their punishment with out looking sad, or unhappy, they are punished further..... so they have to control how they look when being punished.
I am so sorry. I hope you can get them out somehow. If they're being abused & tell someone, then keep trying until you find help. You have to take responsibility. You chose to have children with an abuser, & now this is the result. I cannot understand why people allow abuse. Good luck.
Luna Sea what a crap comment people allow abuse when they're so low the submit to it or groomed into it! Very few healthy people knowingly sign up to abusive ongoing situations - maybe I'm reading your last sentence the wrong way but abused people don't simply allow for themselves to be abused.
I have two monkeys that try to make me feel bad about choosing to not having anything to do with my father.....both siblings don't like to rock the boat, even though i'm in the right about the situation they still act like it's my fault and often ignore. I don't understand being so loyal that type of person....
That's what they do. They manipulate and make u feel bad for walking away from abusive narcissists. They see the abuse..believe me. They are sadistic. They know exactly what the narc does. Don't be fooled. They have their own agenda. Most are jealous which is why they participate in this.
My older narc brother has managed to turn younger siblings (including his son) into flying monkeys and use them to attack me. My partner also has a list of flying monkeys at his disposal, including recruiting my friends and associates to use against me.
You dont call me for 8 mounths - what cause you call me today ??? - Is it not curious ???? - - GREAT ! - 😂😂😂 I DONT SPEAK MONKEY ... 😂😂😂 - I nearly pie in me pants. G
My narc dad "pretends" to listen, his girlfriend makes an excuse for him "He's always been that way, he won't change" Both of them expect me to put up, shut up and not bring up any problems. This girlfriend's "excuse" doesn't let him off the hook with me.
Click for more information on my new book 'The Alchemists - Transforming Narcissistic Abuse Into Gold'..familytreecounseling.com/product/alchemists-transform-narcissistic-abuse-gold/ As of 7-30-17 the price has been reduced by 30% to just $4.95. - Mark Smith
Tayan, I hope you & your baby are able to get away safely & find happiness. I am so sorry for what you're going through, but good for you for recognizing it & seeking help. Just do whatever it takes to keep your child & yourself safe. If there is abuse, document it if you can. I hope you are ok!
I tried to find your Facebook group but couldn't find it. One page, with your name, was your personal page and another page had the same name as here but only had 7 members. Not sure if that if you or not.
Thank you so much for this video! Was with narc for 26 years off and on and am now healing as well as my children! Can you speak to difference ting between Asperger's symptoms and symptoms of narcissistic abuse as some times my kids have symptoms PTS, Asperger's , ... Thanks!!
😂😂😂 👏👏👏👍 one of the greatest videos aut there. You dident call me for 8 months - why you call me now - .... + I dont speak monkey - GREAT. + The last anti monkey tip - so great ! - I wish I heared that years ago - the narc parent conditioning the child to give answer and tell ewery people with entiteled atitude the thruth abaut your buisness - allways explaine and exuse your selve - - bat no one told us - that we dont have to.
Greetings. We have some pretty cool news. Rinda and I have been given the opportunity to speak at a 7 day national online conference on the topic of 'Overcoming Shame And Guilt'. Some very well known speakers are presenting at the conference. I'm day two - September 12th and Rinda has been moved to day 5 - September 18th. Here is the link with all of the information about the conference - and the best part is that it is absolutely FREE to you...www.avaiya.com/overcomingshameandguilt/?ap_id=msmith Mark Smith
My mother (a nasty-nasty covert narcissist) manage to transform my niece in a flying monkey.Outrage accusation.I love my niece and she has a good heart,but she is innocent. I try before to let her know about this disorder of his grandma. To late because I was the target of a long smirk campaign. My sister is dead and I feel responsible to make her understand what is an narcissist,an empath . I don't want she carry out the curse of my family and be a broken codependent. She block me. How could I unmask the real face of my mom? I suffer allot and I don't want my niece have a broken hart too. My mom is devil in disguise .
Im bipolar and I do not participate in manipulate tactics. Being fair, open and honest is my policy. My ex used my bipolar against me and enlisted a crew of " flying monkeys" to smear my character in a small community he and his family were from during our divorce and custody. Hes now in prison. I hate the labeling. Hes never been diagnosed with anything because he thinks nothing is wrong. His family has the money too. I had attorney withdrawal ect. I couldn't rent there after he signs 25 yrs assets to his family and then kicked me and sons out of our home! 18 yrs I raised my kids there. I have severe ptsd. But , im a rich woman because im raising my kids!!!!
Funny concept, less dramatic than devils and their demons. They even form chains of flying monkeys, once you rebut one FM, he will try to use someone else as FM as a barrier between you and him, not to lose face in the face of the WW...
flying monkies are just a smoke screen,ya know how in video games you have a boss and then have other units? just attack the boss. you do that the entire "game" falls away.
The volume is very low--is there a way you can record these at higher volume? My controls are turned all the way up and your other videos are audible but this one barely. Thanks.
Hi Jerry. My situation is a bit tricky. I think my best friend might actually be a flying monkey and I don't know how to address it. She was involved with the same N as me 4 years before me, when he discarded her to be with someone else. She strongly discouraged me from getting with him when he started courting me, somewhat a mix of jealousy and worry that the same would happen to me. The N screwed me over big time, and I cut him off completely after 6 months. After acting in my defence and supporting me, I have found out that she's been meeting up with him to support him through his hard time and playing very nice with him. I don't want to lose her but I'm not sure I can trust her fully. What should I do?
Your life is not over. You are responsible for who you let into your life. You can choose to no longer allow abuse. Do not be an unhealthy victim. Find peace & strength. Get help. Walk away. Good luck, hope it gets better. Don't give up!
Nidhug Skov no, it's diffusing the game. Stopping the intentions of both the Flying Monkey and the Narcissist. He's illuminating the Process by which the Flying Monkey's have entered into and are trying to carry out. Sometimes they do not comprehend what they are actually doing & what is transpiring. If they do know then they understand that you are not offering any conversation or information and are effectively stymied.
You usually find those who are preoccupied with the subject of narcissism ARE narcissists themselves... You can see how the creator of this boring narcissism video, replies to comments with his full name... Eg "Thanks for watching. Jerry Wise." It's because narcissistic people feel like they are some kind of a celebrity, and they want you to think "who he replied... It's really him... Look it even says Jerry Wise at the end". When in reality, nobody really gives a shit.
You dont call me for 8 mounths - what cause you call me today ??? - Is it not curious ???? - - GREAT ! - 😂😂😂 I DONT SPEAK MONKEY ... 😂😂😂 - I nearly pie in me pants. G
yes, I can relate. They act like they care, and then back stabb .. evil! thank you, for your videos.
They excuse it by saying "It's ok, we're family, we can do whatever the hell we want. And you just to have to take it." Really pathetic. My dad, his girlfriend, one of his brothers and their now, late mother made excuses for dad's manure.
Thank you for this video. This perfectly describes my family. My father is a narcissist. My mother after 31 years of marriage and three kids finally divorced him. Unfortunately for me I was the scapegoat in the children. I wish I had watched this video 7 years ago to give me a better understanding on what would have happened when I 'Divorced' him. He blamed me for his lost marriage. When my mother left him the flying monkeys came out in droves. I didn't realize at the time, never talking to my father again also would alienate my entire family, which includes 30+ people all the sudden saying that I was the one to ruin my parents marriage. Your story with 'cousin Mable' was almost word to word of a conversation I had with one of my aunts. Anyway thank you so much for your videos, they are helping me understand better that I'm not crazy, they're the ones with something wrong with them. Using the term 'Flying Monkey' is so spot on I laughed. Thanks!!
Thank you for putting words to this.
I left my ENTIRE life behind to get away from the narc and monkeys - and to stay alive.
He still haunts me.
It would be nice to have the kind of support services you offer, however, most of us are left not only broken but financially broke as well with limited resources. This is a huge problem in domestic abuse recovery; not enough help available to heal.
+Barbara Grace I agree with you that help and support can be so hard to find. For me its worse because I am in the UK and all the you tube help is USA. I wish there were more local support groups like perhaps Narcissist abuse anonymous.
Yes. There on on-line groups on FB also.
Aw, God bless you... from Colorado, the land of medical cannabis --- which might help you. Hash oil cured me of cancer (two types), and helps me cope with intense chronic pain, without any poisonous pills. Also, my great sadness at losing all of my family and friends (after I told the narcs I was born again) is much ameliorated. Heal!
5winder Yes, I also avail myself that M.C. and helps so much. I couldn't have survived this without God. God bless you winder.
Barbara Grace 😰🙌🏻
Taking things a step further, you have to watch there aren't other narcissists (or worse) among these flying monkeys, especially if there's an outright bullying element going on, they can smell easy meat especially if they've managed to isolate you. Try not a accept help off these people, be very careful what you say to them they'll be looking for ways to isolate or generally cause you difficulties. If there's bullying you have to stand up to them as they're pathetic individuals who will think twice if there's consequences but will try to gas light you if you seek help in others.
+jelkel25 Very wise words and good advice. Thank you!
Life is not simple it’s hard you can talk about all the mean people you want,just stay away from them and mine your own business 😊
They really hate criticism towards them or being "called out" on what they are and do, 100%.
in another venue -the work environment this is describing bullies and mobbing. in a way more traumatic if it destroys ones job.career. reputation. health. especially finances..and usually possible future prospects. especially unethical is when HR etc. uses gaslight ing to avoid liability for supporting the victimizer/... and giving credence to the flying monkeys. the minions want to keep their jobs and like the Stanley Milligram situation project group think.
Actually, I think no one love to be criticized (I think you either) especially when they don't know well. Some people just tried to revenge and abuse.
They know they're wrong!
Narc parents are the worst. Often the victim ends up marrying another narc like I did. I don't know how I survived to even talk about it.
It‘s a sad reality that it‘s inevitable that narcissists become parents....
SeraphimTheOrthodox 😰I feel Ya! Me too! 🙌🏻🙏🏻Prayers
SeraphimTheOrthodox It is our job to learn from their mistakes and not repeat them. --End the cycle with you!
There is nothing you can do but just walk away from those who do not have your best interest at heart. It takes a lot of strength but it takes time to heal from attachments of suffering. Attachment is suffering you need not to suffer anymore.
I speak from my own experience.
Prayers 🙏🏻
What a relief it is to hear this video, for all I feel in my heart is relief, relief, relief....that I am not alone in dealing with this...This video is so comforting to watch and listen to, for the simple realization that you are not alone, and there are people that not only care, but care to help you understand these dynamics that really devastate you, and bring you a lot of heartache, hurt, and pain....With truth, there is understanding, with understanding there is validation, and with validation there is relief, and with relief there is healing....thank you for caring about those out there, like myself that need to heal their hearts from such painful dynamics in their lives....
Diane Donofrio Thank you, your words helped alot. I'm hoping that my instincts are wrong. Deals with him and my sister.
this is what happened to me.I cut everyone off
Bravo !!!! I was just forced to do the same
Right ARM. God bless you.
4 years and counting... it does get better.
I cut everyone off, also... I'm so much happier without toxic people and there abundance of mess.
me too
I loathe these people with a passion. Man, I may hate them more or equally to the person that's pulling the strings. What do they get out of being a gofer, or an errand boy for the manipulator? The whole scenario shows how crazy and gullible these people pretend to be. Pretty ridiculous.
Me too. Hatred intense at times but this can end up poisoning you, so you end up no better than they are. Don't allow what they want i.e. to destroy you in this way.
Thank you so much. It made a lot clear to me. I went no contact with my brother after he didn't listen to me when I spoke to him about a problem I had with my father's girlfriend. My brother refused to listen and explained "his" opinion about the case. So he showed me that he was already informed by my father's GF. He judged me not knowing what really had happened and not hearing my version. So I went no contact with him. BUT now it comes: weeks later my father called me by accident, probably had his finger on the "call" button by accident, whilst they were talking on Skype about me and my sisters. Since I could listen to them creating their smear campaign I finally have the entire truth which helps me to stop my doubts about the flying monkeys in our family. The most active and abusive "leader" of that smear campaign is my father's girlfriend who tries to "exclude" me and my sisters out of the family and to reach that in persuading my father that we are only keen on his money so she makes our father being against us and my brother is singing her song playing the flying monkey! They didn't realize that I was listening via the cellphone of my father. Now since I know what's really happening behind the curtains I'll never let my brother back into my life and when I see my father (he's 83) I only do "smalltalk" and don't give any relevant information about my life, since I know he'll bring everything about me to these "Wolfes". One day when he'll be going to die I'll tell him that I knew everything and that's a shame that he excluded his own 3 daughters and believed his girlfriend who was not our mother and even didn't know us at all. Currently my brother is enjoying being the "golden child" and getting all the attention of our father, it might seem to being a success but it's an evil one.
Flying monkeys...amazing concept in this field. I've been my twin sister's flying monkey for years. I'm totally done.
Get out of the Wicked Witch's "Forest"
the next time one of my narc mother's flying monkeys approaches me, im just going to send them this video. you explain this concept well
MsAngelIsFree Good Luck with that. A narc will believe their own truth and they will not see any error in their ways. Yet, I hope she does. I hope she doesn’t use this advice against you.
Prayers for your troubles.
This is true. All of what you describe is true . Therefore , will you yourself fly over , weekly,to help me with my survival shopping . Just for your information , the social security system on all aspects of decent living is darned expensive ! Providing that we want to live a life , not only survive. Things must be seen in their right context . It is easy to speak words of wisdom from a safe distance! Living with the mean is something else.
Your videos are wonderful and are simply an enormous benefit to this community! I've honestly learned more about recovery on UA-cam than in all the years of therapy I've had combined. All the therapists at Family Tree are great-and each of you offers a different perspective-but the same lessons. I'm very thankful to have found your site at a time that I really needed someone to tell me "what the heck happened here" and how I came to be so abused by the very people who purported to love me. NOT! I've had a lot of " aha" moments watching these! Thank you!
Wonderful advice! Thank you!
I especially like the idea of showing empathy to the flying monkeys. So many of us in abusive homes get targeted because we are the sensitive/empathetic ones in the family. Responding to the flying monkeys with empathy seems to play well to our strengths. I know that that strategy definitely plays to my skills. I plan to try next time I have the misfortune of dealing with a flying monkey.
Thank you for helping me to learn how to deal with my MN sister who is doing everything she can to prevent me from fulfilling my mother's wishes, who had a major stroke. She had gone no contact since she has learned that my brother and I have POA. Since she can't manipulate me (I am handling the care of my mother), she's now trying to manipulate him into rescinding life giving medication. It took me quite some time to convince him that her lies about me were not true. His red flag for the current manipulation was when she tried to plant a seed in his mind about the necessary medication. She seems to think she has the trump card since we live out of town and she is close by.
Thanks ! Anyway. 💜
All of these " I know better" -types of jerks can come over to give me a helping hand in order for me to live at my own home. They come in various sizes, shapes , n colours
Thank you for your invaluable information.
Best advice ewer ! -
- Unfortunatly no one teach that at school - many people that grows up in a narc family learn that werry late....
Peace at all cost- that´s it.That is what they do.
Welcome Jerry! I hope all mental help organizations finally learn this also! This will be a great help.
Great advice, thank you. I have so many narcs in my life, and am now trying to deal with the fact my mom is one, as well my daughter. It's very difficult when you have the "wake up" moment and realize, that this is how your family has been operating your whole life. I have no family and no friends, not one. There is so much destruction, the worst being my emotional destruction and deteriorating health due to the Narcs.
I feel your pain. This is why I didn’t have children, I knew that my narc parent and golden child sister would alienate the child against me. Hope that you are doing better now and God bless. You have an authentic self and these cluster Bs do not, see yourself as being a genuine person and after you build back your self esteem you will attract healthy people in your life
yes they are cowards destroying themselves the only way to overcome is to love yourself and your neighbor
My mother (narcissist) created a household of dysfunctional people including myself 😔😞
Just realizing my mom is a narrssist. I was an only child so my mom had to seek outsiders to use... idk. just know your not broken. maybe cracked or twisted in some ways. Normal people are boring anyway :) keep your head up.
+Sarah Mcvey thank you for your very kind words 😊
GMarie -Behind The Mask- ...I am so sorry ! Now you are in the know ! Now you can make it right....
GMarie -Behind The Mask-
Prayers 🙏🏻
Just gonna have to cut the cord and start a new family and learn a new way of life.
Excellent. Thank you. I've got this problem.
My narc sibling constantly uses my farther to set me up for a fall, I certainly don't fall for the bs anymore. Usually it will be the offer of a family trip or a gathering etc with narc sibling , and before I used to get my hopes up and then my narc would act as if I had no idea what I was talking about, denying that an offer was ever made in the first place. Most recently it was an offer for us all to fly to Ireland and my Narc sibling would pay the way for everything, and the key lynch pin that made me laugh was that if I couldn't get off of work to just quit and get a new job when I got back. You see if I said ok , the tables would have turned on me right then and there, and they would have said I was not responsible ,cant hold a job etc. I told my father that I was not interested in traveling any where with my sibling ,because it is an abusive ass , before you know it my father said well I cant fly that far anyway. He Really had no interest in going either. The whole thing was a non existent sham there was never any trip etc it was just a test to see if I would fall fore the same old bait. unbelievable
excellent! subscribed and sharing this.
This is outstanding!! Thank you so much!! I will be watching the rest of your videos for sure. God bless you.
thank you i believe you're right on
THANK YOU SO VERY VERY MUCH FOR THIS VIDEO.I HAVE LITERALLY HAD TO LIVE AT LEAST THE LAST SIX YEARS BEING THE WORST YEARS OF MY ENTIRE LIFE TRYING TO DEAL WITH A SISTER THAT IS EAT UP WITH NARCISSIM AND I DIDNT UNDERSTAND IT ALL OR EXACTLY HOW TO DEAL WITH ANY OF THE SITUATIONS SHES PUT ME IN.I GUESS IF I HAD UNDERSTOOD THE WAY A NARC WORKS AND THE WAY THEY THINK IN ORDER TO WORK AT THE EVIL WAYS OF DOING, I COULD HAVE HAD A MORE PEACEFUL,LESS CONFLICTED LIFE THAT SHE S PUT ME THROUGH.IN REALITY I HAVE A SICK AND TWISTED SISTER,GIVEN BY HER AND ONLY HER REASONS ON TOP OF REASONS TO HATE HER FOR THE EVIL HUMAN BEING SHE IS BUT I CANT HATE ANYONE.I SUFFER FROM SEVERE DEPRESSION THAT JUST CRIPPLED MY LIFE,I WAS DIAGNOSED YEARS AGO.SINCE THEN IVE BEEN IN AND OUT OF HOSPITAL,TAKING ONLY PRESCRIBED MEDICATION, I EVEN WENT THROUGH TEN MONTHS OF SHOCK TREATMENTS TO MY BRAIN.ITS JUST LIKE I TOLD MY DOCTOR IN CHARGE, NO MATTER WHAT I DO SEEKING HELP FOR ME,EVERYTHING I DO WILL NOT CURE ME IF I HAVE TO KEEP BEING ASSOCIATED WITH WHATEVER OR WHOEVER IS BRINGING ME DOWN.MY LIFE IS LIKE A ROLLERCOASTER.,ONCE I GET TO A HIGH POINT AND TRUST THAT IM GOING TO BE OK I END UP TAKING THAT FAST PLUNGE RIGHT BACK TO THE BOTTOM .I HAVE NEVER BELIEVED THAT IN ORDER TO BE HAPPY THE ONLY WAY TO DO THAT WOULD BE TO CONSTANTLY BE INTENTIONALLY DOING OR SAYING NEGATIVE THINGS TO HURT SOMEONE ELSE FOR MY OWN PERSONAL GAIN.THAT HAS NEVER BEEN ME, ONLY MY SISTER.WITH THAT BEING SAID IVE BEEN SO LOST NOT KNOWING WHICH WAY THE LIGHT AT THE END OF MY TUNNEL COULD POSSIBLY BE FOR I HAVE BEEN IN SEARCH OF IT FOR A LONG TIME.I FEEL LIKE WATCHING THIS VIDEO HAS GIVE ME SOME UNDERSTANDING THAT I DIDNT KNOW TO ALREADY HAVE AND I HAVE A LITTLE MORE HOPE.I PRAY THAT I LEAVE THIS PRISON OF FLESH IVE BEEN TRAPPED IN FOR MOST LIFE BEFORE LONG,SO THAT I CAN MOVE ON TO MY HAPPY PLACE.A PLACE THAT I KNOW ONCE I GET THERE I WONT HAVE TO DEAL WITH THE LIKES OF MY EVIL SISTER BECAUSE WHERE IM GOING,SHE CAN NEVER GET THERE.
Thank you this was very insightful...
Thank you for helping me understand
I am doing good. These vids provide heaps of income. I've noticed that you are quite competent on this.❤️ thank you
I've been in all of this by now.
Thank you so much for this video. I really appreciate them...
One that I know of I've gone no contact with for a year nearly... this is true
I'm never that "curious". I'm much more direct. Anyone who knows me would know I'm being phony by pretending to be confused. This makes it difficult to keep content out.
God bless! I shared your post with my audience. I like how you provided the tips on what to say--that is key especially with those busybodies who haven't made contact in a long time and then out of the blue they want to know something--lol. Thanks again!
Excellent. Thank you.
None of my brothers & sisters will speak to me without narcissistic parents present. If there is an occasion, I'm doing all the talking met with uh huh. The discussion could be any topic.
The narc in my life thought distorting the truth would be a legitimate means of self defense. No problem with that!
Thanks for the great tips!!
My X is Narcissist. He used the system to take the children. Everyday they walk on glass in their environment. They are always punished. If they don't accept their punishment with out looking sad, or unhappy, they are punished further..... so they have to control how they look when being punished.
I am so sorry. I hope you can get them out somehow. If they're being abused & tell someone, then keep trying until you find help. You have to take responsibility. You chose to have children with an abuser, & now this is the result. I cannot understand why people allow abuse. Good luck.
Luna Sea what a crap comment people allow abuse when they're so low the submit to it or groomed into it! Very few healthy people knowingly sign up to abusive ongoing situations - maybe I'm reading your last sentence the wrong way but abused people don't simply allow for themselves to be abused.
Thank you!
Sounds a lot like what I've been going through, especially the divorce part.
I have two monkeys that try to make me feel bad about choosing to not having anything to do with my father.....both siblings don't like to rock the boat, even though i'm in the right about the situation they still act like it's my fault and often ignore. I don't understand being so loyal that type of person....
That's what they do. They manipulate and make u feel bad for walking away from abusive narcissists. They see the abuse..believe me. They are sadistic. They know exactly what the narc does. Don't be fooled. They have their own agenda. Most are jealous which is why they participate in this.
What if you don’t know who they are? All the flying monkeys I have dealt with have been complete strangers
My older narc brother has managed to turn younger siblings (including his son) into flying monkeys and use them to attack me. My partner also has a list of flying monkeys at his disposal, including recruiting my friends and associates to use against me.
Why would you stay partners with an abusive person? You're responsible for who & what you allow into your life.
Great video!!!!
I accept your offer of a list of your videos. Please forward. Thanks, Joan
i got my own plans,and thanks for the help!!
Thank you
You dont call me for 8 mounths - what cause you call me today ???
- Is it not curious ???? -
- GREAT ! - 😂😂😂
I DONT SPEAK MONKEY ...
😂😂😂 - I nearly pie in me pants.
G
My narc dad "pretends" to listen, his girlfriend makes an excuse for him "He's always been that way, he won't change" Both of them expect me to put up, shut up and not bring up any problems. This girlfriend's "excuse" doesn't let him off the hook with me.
Click for more information on my new book 'The Alchemists - Transforming Narcissistic Abuse Into Gold'..familytreecounseling.com/product/alchemists-transform-narcissistic-abuse-gold/ As of 7-30-17 the price has been reduced by 30% to just $4.95.
- Mark Smith
I'm 34 and my Narssisist husband is 49. I'm interested in what I can do to get my almost 3 month old son and I out. he has threatened me with CPS.
Tayan, I hope you & your baby are able to get away safely & find happiness. I am so sorry for what you're going through, but good for you for recognizing it & seeking help. Just do whatever it takes to keep your child & yourself safe. If there is abuse, document it if you can. I hope you are ok!
I tried to find your Facebook group but couldn't find it. One page, with your name, was your personal page and another page had the same name as here but only had 7 members. Not sure if that if you or not.
Thank you so much for this video!
Was with narc for 26 years off and on and am now healing as well as my children! Can you speak to difference ting between Asperger's symptoms and symptoms of narcissistic abuse as some times my kids have symptoms PTS, Asperger's , ...
Thanks!!
They should be getting professional help.
great video
very usefull!
You can also start singing, "I believe I can fly." Lol
😂😂😂 👏👏👏👍 one of the greatest videos aut there.
You dident call me for 8 months - why you call me now - .... + I dont speak monkey - GREAT.
+ The last anti monkey tip - so great !
- I wish I heared that years ago - the narc parent conditioning the child to give answer and tell ewery people with entiteled atitude the thruth abaut your buisness - allways explaine and exuse your selve -
- bat no one told us - that we dont have to.
Greetings. We have some pretty cool news. Rinda and I have been given the opportunity to speak at a 7 day national online conference on the topic of 'Overcoming Shame And Guilt'. Some very well known speakers are presenting at the conference. I'm day two - September 12th and Rinda has been moved to day 5 - September 18th. Here is the link with all of the information about the conference - and the best part is that it is absolutely FREE to you...www.avaiya.com/overcomingshameandguilt/?ap_id=msmith Mark Smith
Nail it.
My mother (a nasty-nasty covert narcissist) manage to transform my niece in a flying monkey.Outrage accusation.I love my niece and she has a good heart,but she is innocent. I try before to let her know about this disorder of his grandma. To late because I was the target of a long smirk campaign. My sister is dead and I feel responsible to make her understand what is an narcissist,an empath . I don't want she carry out the curse of my family and be a broken codependent. She block me. How could I unmask the real face of my mom? I suffer allot and I don't want my niece have a broken hart too. My mom is devil in disguise .
Im bipolar and I do not participate in manipulate tactics. Being fair, open and honest is my policy. My ex used my bipolar against me and enlisted a crew of " flying monkeys" to smear my character in a small community he and his family were from during our divorce and custody. Hes now in prison. I hate the labeling. Hes never been diagnosed with anything because he thinks nothing is wrong. His family has the money too. I had attorney withdrawal ect. I couldn't rent there after he signs 25 yrs assets to his family and then kicked me and sons out of our home! 18 yrs I raised my kids there. I have severe ptsd. But , im a rich woman because im raising my kids!!!!
Why bipolar. Bipolar for myself is only a mood disorder, depressed and elated. Not a personality disorder
Funny concept, less dramatic than devils and their demons.
They even form chains of flying monkeys, once you rebut one FM, he will try to use someone else as FM as a barrier between you and him, not to lose face in the face of the WW...
I am recruited to be a flying monkey all the time- by my golden child sister trying to placate my narc mother.
flying monkies are just a smoke screen,ya know how in video games you have a boss and then have other units?
just attack the boss.
you do that the entire "game" falls away.
The volume is very low--is there a way you can record these at higher volume? My controls are turned all the way up and your other videos are audible but this one barely. Thanks.
I'm on my iPad, with head/p only turned 1/2 way up and the sound is perfect.
You can communicate with Jerry at jwlearning@hotmail.com
Hi Jerry. My situation is a bit tricky. I think my best friend might actually be a flying monkey and I don't know how to address it. She was involved with the same N as me 4 years before me, when he discarded her to be with someone else. She strongly discouraged me from getting with him when he started courting me, somewhat a mix of jealousy and worry that the same would happen to me. The N screwed me over big time, and I cut him off completely after 6 months. After acting in my defence and supporting me, I have found out that she's been meeting up with him to support him through his hard time and playing very nice with him. I don't want to lose her but I'm not sure I can trust her fully. What should I do?
Ditch 'em both, and don't look back.
Walk away. You are responsible for what you allow into your life.
That's why my life is over.
Your life is not over. You are responsible for who you let into your life. You can choose to no longer allow abuse. Do not be an unhealthy victim. Find peace & strength. Get help. Walk away. Good luck, hope it gets better. Don't give up!
Isn't that just playing the game?
Nidhug Skov no, it's diffusing the game. Stopping the intentions of both the Flying Monkey and the Narcissist. He's illuminating the Process by which the Flying Monkey's have entered into and are trying to carry out. Sometimes they do not comprehend what they are actually doing & what is transpiring. If they do know then they understand that you are not offering any conversation or information and are effectively stymied.
You usually find those who are preoccupied with the subject of narcissism ARE narcissists themselves... You can see how the creator of this boring narcissism video, replies to comments with his full name... Eg "Thanks for watching. Jerry Wise." It's because narcissistic people feel like they are some kind of a celebrity, and they want you to think "who he replied... It's really him... Look it even says Jerry Wise at the end". When in reality, nobody really gives a shit.
Probably true but boring :)
Get to the point!
Thank you!
You dont call me for 8 mounths - what cause you call me today ???
- Is it not curious ???? -
- GREAT ! - 😂😂😂
I DONT SPEAK MONKEY ...
😂😂😂 - I nearly pie in me pants.
G