This movie was so bad that my disabled father of 17 years got up and out of his wheelchair to turn this movie off. When I said “it’s a miracle” he responded back “ it ain’t a miracle and I ain’t your real dad” Thanks Space Ice
I’m impressed by this movie. It really stands out from Steven’s other movies. No strip club and he didn’t bang the best friends’ widow or the other woman?? Mind Blown!! 😂
yeah like why?............seriously why? you use body doubles only for stunts and nude scenes. why can he not just walk into a building or a room on his own?
I've just finished watching this movie minutes ago... I have no idea why the main characters did what they did... This movie is an incoherent mess albeit very funny!!! 😊😊😊
Guy: "how about we use nerve gas?" Seagal: "It might kill the guy we're trying to save." Guy: "I finna kick your ass." Guy: *walks over and gets pwned by guy sitting in like. 5 sec* Guy: *goes back over and sits down* Rest of group: "I guess we're all done here, good meeting." Utterly absurd scene
Time for our weekly Sensei Seagal "Top 10 Signature M.O" checklist: 1. Seagal shooting without looking ✅ 2. Eye candy young enough to be his daughter✅ 3. Thinner body double does the walking for him✅ 4. Seagal fights someone while sitting in a chair✅ 5. Seagal patty-cake fights someone and wins without a scratch on him✅ 6. Seagal is a former Special Opps (sorry,Ops) agent✅ 7. A scene dedicated to someone talking about awesome he is✅ 8. Incompetent police/F.B.I/C.I.A✅ 9. Seagal executing innocent bystanders for no reason✅ 10. Seagal gets negative points✅ 11. Incoherent mumbling✅ Yup. Everything checks out. Did i leave out any?
Visiting a strip club wasn’t in this movie, extremely bad CGI didn’t appear to be in here, neither is recycled scenes being used over and over again. But you did miss him being a psychic and automatically knowing where to go, teleporting around, and using someone else’s voice.
Filming took 28 days. The director later said "the story was confusing because there were four writers on the film and things were left over from draft to draft. I pointed all this out to the producers, but they did not care. Also, the producers cut scene number 101 from the shooting schedule that played right in the middle of the film it caused a domino effect before and after. That scene was the tie-up in the movie. I talked until I was blue in the face trying to convince them the decision was a huge mistake. They did not care. Yep that's a typical seagal's film production. 🤣
You missed the most hilarious part of all I almost fall from my chair laughing at this "Fauntleroy claims the producers "just hated Steven and their whole existence was to destroy him, staff of personal, and the film"
Honestly I’m not even remotely shocked that Seagal films take 28 days. With how poorly these are acted & edited, it definitely feels like these movies are on a “only one take” shooting schedule. That’s the only reason I can fathom for his hilarious voice-over moments.
A double feature posted in 10 minutes. Best morning ever. God I love this channel and I hope Steven Seagal never runs out of movies to make so you can keep watching them.
Just realized, the other one is a repost. I've watched it multiple times, so despite not remembering the titles because it's Seagal, I immediately noticed upon starting the vid xD
@@ASnakeintheGrass so many of his straight to DVD flicks are so indistinguishable from each other that it’s easy to see why you can’t remember them or tell them apart.
He refuses to be considered a bad character in any capacity. “I’ll be a mercenary…but only for justice. And money. But mostly justice, make sure that’s in there.”
I'm an unemployed Norwegian with too many pets living on a disability pension in Morocco mainly for the cheap hashish. A well written comment right there methinks.
I worked on that one years ago, got shot dead in the bank scene. All the stunt guys were complaining that Steven was intentionally kicking them in their nuts on every fight. I got paid 😅
At 8:08, I can't get over how the celloist on the right isn't even trying. Like, she's holding her bow all wrong and nowhere near the strings. She knew what this movie was.
I pray for more Space Ice videos daily. This channel has legit become of of my all time favorite things ever. Space Ice:100 point, Steven Seagal: -10,000.
A friend of mine actually worked on this film🤣 He said the crew eventually stopped caring and started hiding a little green frog in all of the scenes. I couldn't be bothered to watch the film, but I've always wondered whether they managed. Has anyone watched the movie and been able to pick it up?
Holy shit lmao I read your comment and went looking for a little green frog. I found one lol at 10:40 of this video when the bank worker turns around you can see the green frog as he moves right behind him. That's hilarious.
5:33 as a corrections officer this line gave me a headache, the number of "guards" has no effect on the alarm system...why would we turn off the alarm system due to the amount of officers on duty? It's never and i mean NEVER shut off for anything. Even a power outage. The only effect an increased number of officers being on duty would have is fewer hall walks and inmate checks for each individual officer and probably an argument over what UA-cam channel is pulled up in the control room and if it's not SpaceIce then it will probably be Donut Operator. Maybe at the worst coffee shortage
Yes, but only because of the reviews on this channel. Not gonna watch a Seagal movie unless I can verify that it is good , (as Space Ice identifies them)
The only rule on Steven Seagal-movie titles is that you can put the words "Steven Seagal is..." before it. Apart from Exit Wounds, it works every time.
@@CanalPSG Well. these movies are full of unnecessary killings. Im still wondering why none of his "pieces of art" has name "Die for no reason" or "Urge to kill" .
The fact that the CIA offers a resource for filmmakers to use and Seagal disregarded it to make the shittiest CIA watermark in the history of the CIA is impressive to me.
"There is no way that f*cked up building is the most secure anything" had me pissing 😂 I only discovered this channel today and I'm already hooked. Thanks for making life a lot more fun
It makes you feel like you've been missing out on something special for way too long after discovering this channel lol.. Why couldn't I find this during covid when I was stuck in the house for 11 days! 😕
@@runetoudahl6 for sure!! Space Ice is so damn funny 😂.. I think his voice is 50% of it lol. He does a damn good job with these vids and I'm actually glad to have just discovered it to be honest. Even though you can watch these vids a few times and still hurt yourself laughing, it's great to have many vids to get to that have yet to be seen lol.
I love that no matter how old he is, Seagal is the same character is every movie that is asked to provide his skills. Need to break into a crumbling prison in South Africa? Only one man on the planet could ever pull that off.
My ears perked when his stolen valor was so specific. Highly doubt this was on purpose, but I know for a fact it’s universally accepted the most decorated soldier of desert storm is General Norman Schwarzkopf. A name I remember bc 1. It’s unique 2. His dad was head of the Lindbergh investigation. It’s relevant to seagals stolen valor bc the generals Nick name was storming Norman aka THE BEAR. Seagall out here dropping Easter eggs for us to pick up on 😂
@@zoopdterdoobdter5743ha. I guess it is. Didnt think it to be, thanks. But i should clarify: thats not why i think Seagal has been trolling all these years. I just find that wording really funny titanium vanadium.
Thank you for this. I find my attempts to articulate my gratitude for your work practically incomprehensible. Your work is a truly amazing blessing for myself and the 22 other Marines who share our V.A.'s PTSD group. We have taken to using the content which you obviously slave over, and is of the highest quality, like a book club I suppose. I can only speak for myself but from the conversations that we have twice a week I believe that I'm not the only Devil Dog who clings to your work like a life raft upon being awoken by the hyper vigilence, the night-terrors etc. The witching hours where you can't quite believe that I've not awoken to a world that I am no longer tethered to. I find myself turning on the radio and TV as well as the PC in a feeble attempt to convince myself that I AM still alive ( whether I deserve to be or not ) the Existential horror I have building within myself at pace with the growing certainty that I am alone in an empty world. Although from the corner eyes I catch glimpses of people going about their lives and there's a constant.."hum" of billions of overlapping whispered conversations were I can almost understand a word here and there. I believe that I can dispel the terror that is tightening around my chest by waking up my miracle of a Daughter..but what if she's not there or is but is unable to perceive me..these are fleeting thoughts and the real reason for my self imposed nightly exhile is in large part because my Daughter should be taken care of by me and NOT the other way around ! She NEEDS to experience being a softmore in college. Another part being my horribly insufficient attempt to suffer enough to sate the dept I owe to the many who didn't make it home despite being far better for the world, and the people who lost them. Whatever the reasons may truly be..your hard work is a hand reaching out to tell us that we are not alone. I know several Marines that have said almost the exact same thing. I hope that you and those you care for are happy, healthy, and safe Semper Fidelis. P.S. I apologize for any words that are out of context or poor punctuation and misspellings I lost my hand in Afghanistan so now I dictate rather than type and the program seems to be under the impression that due to my Italian heritage I must have a Rocky Balboa esk speech impediment.
I seen a story from a reddit thread mentioning celebrities people have met and Segal was mentioned. Poster said he leaves his sheriff vehicle parked in places it's not allowed to be cause he thinks as a cop he's the law itself.
Dude, I hope you know you created something no one will take away from you and the yt audience can’t get enough of. I literally thought „god I hope there’s more of these“ a minute ago, good for you, man. Much success, all power to you, and my condolences for watching all these. You’re really suffering for Steven Seagal‘s sins to free us from trauma 😂❤
9:53 You know the prison really is of the highest security when they arm their regular work a day guards with FUCKING ROCKET LAUNCHERS. The introduction for new guards : Day 1 - General induction and health and safety. Day 2 - De-escalation techniques and appropriate use of force. Day 3 - Advanced spec opps training in use of C4, rocket propelled grenades and the super secret sonic death-punch.
The only movies of his I actually enjoyed were the ones from the 90's. Undersiege and... shit i forgot the one where he was a cop... either way those were like, the only one's he actually seemed to try.
The most unrealistic part of any Seagal movie is when a bad guy grabs his body double, because there's no way someone would be able to get their arms around Seagal.
And if they did I doubt they could hold on. I imagine him he's slightly clammy and sweaty at all times, so their hands would just slide off. It's a side effect of how he's ALWAYS being alert to danger, of course 😉
"...Seagal's plane lands in South Africa and must've had a 'big and tall' store, because Seagal comes out wearing a completely different outfit...". Gold! 🤣
I remember ordering a bunch of cheap used Seagal DVDs having only seen a couple of his early films and expecting a forgettable yet entertaining low budget action romp. This was first and only one I tried to watch. I remember honestly wondering if I’d gotten a dodgy pirate copy made from a file someone had chopped up and re-edited to make smaller or avoid copyright or something, but nope he’s just that bad.
Well Seagal was here first so technically Neil Breen is the Steven Seagal of zero-budget pseudo-artsy movies made purely because he can't suck his own cock.
Seagal now makes movies just so you can review them. He found a new cult fan base via your channel, a base that regards him as a misunderstood comedy genius
“For daring to Out Dumb him in his own movie, seagal decides to kick his ass, but he’s also tired from all the walking his body double did” MY FAVORITE LINE 😂😂😂
is he wrong tho? how many times have i seen someone get their asses beat ; over a woman who took things way to far? its all over tik tok; so it does happen. but this is besides the point. he's not wrong tho.
These B rated straight to DVD movies make the lead actors a ton of money. On average Segal gets 10-20 million for 3 weeks of shooting. There's a documentary on the king of dvd movies (I forgot his name) but he makes a fortune churning out these bad movies for aging actors. The films take 2-3 weeks and they film in countries like Budapest, Romania, etc. It is all about saving money so the actors and producers get rich quick for shooting on very short schedules in countries that hardly tax them. Try and search for the documentary because it is shocking how much these actors make. Bruce Willis does them as well and usually films for 3 days to get all his scenes done for the dvd and gets paid 10 million for those days.
@@dontcare7086 that's scary and sad if he's getting 10 million or more per film. Got nothing against people becoming wealthy, but at least create a decent product/service, snd have pride and integrity in your work.
Given what happened with Alec Baldwin and the film Rust, I think it's a miracle that actors and crew members aren't actually being killed left right and centre on the sets of these movies.
@@thepoliticalgunnut8018 The basic firearm safety was the responsibility of the person who loaded the gun with a live round. The idea that the only difference between a live round and a blank would be that the blank gives a little rattling sound when you shake it is unbelievable.
To be fair, it doesn't involve any forseeable consequence. The french republic is famously chill about the murder of their ambassadors, is o ly a UN security council member, and has just a mostly expeditionnary military force, with bases around the world. Sidenote, a pity the french officer telling his men to "stand down" wasn't followed by Seagal's men being heavily gunned down, as it's an order which has a higher chance of being followed by english speaking troops.
Wow, I just realized that you actually had to go through the torture of watching Seagal movies to make these videos. Just wanted to say we very much appreciate your sacrifice! Thank you for your service
I remember watching this movie as a 12 year old and thinking it was absolute trash. The scene where he walks up the car, gets in, says a few things, gets out and waddles off to the response 'the man's a ghost' had me cracking up.
Maybe 1 out of 10 of those poor souls somehow manage to revive their career. Which is nothing short of a miracle because, you know, reviving something that's supposed to be dead.
That was a fantastic intro! "If you look past all that Steven Seagal is lacking - talent, ambition, skill, you'll still realize he's the worst." 🤣 They couldn't even spell "ops" right🤣😂
1:48 “I swear to god. Woman will pick a fight anywhere!” True…🙃 If they are angry, know they are right and have a point, they will hunt you down, until you admit and apologize for everything.
Oh my goodness. These are so great. I only worry that one day there will be no more Seagal movies to review. But until then, each Seagal movie is like a little blessing from heaven. Keep up the good work, brother.
Holy shit the daughter of the french ambassador splits in half when they fly out of the car. Just the cherry on top of that completely nonsensical side quest.
i don't think its possible to ever create a better Video title than "its so bad it puts pineapple on Pizza"! Well done, Space Ice! This Channel is already on legendary level!
Check out my Patreon for ad-free and censorship free videos: patreon.com/Space_Ice
you made my day... thanks
To be honest at the start I thought this movie is going to be watchable but man that did not last.
Thank god more videos I was just about to shoot myself but the way you make jokes makes my life a little bit more worth living.
Review the movie "the patriot" with Steven Segal 1999. Interested in what ya think
But, pinapple pizza taste good....
This movie was so bad that my disabled father of 17 years got up and out of his wheelchair to turn this movie off. When I said “it’s a miracle” he responded back “ it ain’t a miracle and I ain’t your real dad” Thanks Space Ice
😂😂 good one
I love the Steven review 🎉
🤣🤣🤣
Your father is 17?
You need to stop. I ain't your Dad. You are in the next Seagal movie.
"He's tired from all the walking his body double did" 🤣 That's just too damn good
lmao
Steven Seagull is some actor of all time
😂😂
@@christophermonarch3267 😂😂😂😂😂are you his body double? 😂😂😂😂
Uuuuuuf
I lost it when the french ambassador and his family exploded into the air 😂
Nothing like airborne, flailing, dead children to get the weekend started....good times...
LOL! And the gore was CG too. Just a simple digital cut and gore textures on the body parts.
@1:19
🤣🤣🤣🤣
😆
I’m impressed by this movie. It really stands out from Steven’s other movies. No strip club and he didn’t bang the best friends’ widow or the other woman?? Mind Blown!! 😂
Must be his new year resolution. Atleast he made it through one movie
He forgot to take the Viagra which was not included in the script
@@agxec2932 don’t worry his body double took one for him!
😂😆😂😆
Or his own daughter lol
Actual actors: Use stunt doubles for dangerous, complicated stunts.
Segal : Uses stunt double so he doesn't have to get out of a car and walk 10 feet.
Walking is for pussies.
That's why he's the goat
yeah like why?............seriously why? you use body doubles only for stunts and nude scenes. why can he not just walk into a building or a room on his own?
Hey man that kinda commitment and dedication is impressive
To quote SI: That's a firm no effort policy right there . That's comitment !
Even though the movie is explained step by step, I still don't understand wtf is going on
That's how you know you truly understand a Seagal movie
Thats the art of seagal
lmao
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
I've just finished watching this movie minutes ago... I have no idea why the main characters did what they did... This movie is an incoherent mess albeit very funny!!! 😊😊😊
Seagal saying "asshole alert" as the camera zooms in on his face is a god tier freudian slip
10:23 is the time
@@abproductions1653 11:23
How dare someone out-stupid Seagal in his own film
*'Seagal wants to kick his ass but he's tired from all the walking his body double did"*
😂🤣
Funny i just read your comment exactly when the line came on😆🤣🤣🤣
Guy: "how about we use nerve gas?"
Seagal: "It might kill the guy we're trying to save."
Guy: "I finna kick your ass."
Guy: *walks over and gets pwned by guy sitting in like. 5 sec*
Guy: *goes back over and sits down*
Rest of group: "I guess we're all done here, good meeting."
Utterly absurd scene
It's how I imagine the Twitter meetings are currently going under Musk
@@davidjsaul HA HA HA
@@davidjsaul 😂😂😂
Definitely need to see a directors commentary
@@davidjsaul I would hope that at one point the meeting would go wrong and someone finally will get to actually kick Musk's smug ass
I like how he talks about the body double like he's a another star in the movie 😭
I agree!!! Totally funny
He is. There is no movie without Steven’s body double
I think he's in some as much as Segal if not more.
Well the doubles in the movie more than Seagal, so Ketchup/Catsup ( which is also Seagals favorite flavor)
Even Seagal's shadow has a stand in , not sure how they afford it
Steven is amazing. No other man could wash this much money for 30 years for the mob and get away with it. He’s really the best actor of all time
Lol that's "VALUETAINMENT" levels of money laundering 😅
Tommy Wiseau isn't bad either.
@@natmanprime4295 They launder money?
@@1994mrmysteryman lol! Wise up like Wiseau
This is the best, most reasonable explanation I've heard yet for why these ridiculous movies exist at all.
3:44 "They bring him to the Black OPP guy" 🤣🤣😂🤣😂
All the jokes about the body doubles never fail to make me laugh
So good
4:59 hes too good at it lmfao
Did he even got into that helicopter at the beginning?🧐
They are not jokes. They are all true
Time for our weekly Sensei Seagal "Top 10 Signature M.O" checklist:
1. Seagal shooting without looking ✅
2. Eye candy young enough to be his daughter✅
3. Thinner body double
does the walking for him✅
4. Seagal fights someone while sitting in a chair✅
5. Seagal patty-cake fights someone and wins without a scratch on him✅
6. Seagal is a former Special Opps (sorry,Ops) agent✅
7. A scene dedicated to someone talking about awesome he is✅
8. Incompetent police/F.B.I/C.I.A✅
9. Seagal executing innocent bystanders for no reason✅
10. Seagal gets negative points✅
11. Incoherent mumbling✅
Yup. Everything checks out. Did i leave out any?
The exotic random location!
2 isn't really fair anymore since even a 50 year old would qualify. And i missed 7 in this one
@@muskyoxes 00:53
Visiting a strip club to find "something"
Visiting a strip club wasn’t in this movie, extremely bad CGI didn’t appear to be in here, neither is recycled scenes being used over and over again. But you did miss him being a psychic and automatically knowing where to go, teleporting around, and using someone else’s voice.
Filming took 28 days. The director later said "the story was confusing because there were four writers on the film and things were left over from draft to draft. I pointed all this out to the producers, but they did not care. Also, the producers cut scene number 101 from the shooting schedule that played right in the middle of the film it caused a domino effect before and after. That scene was the tie-up in the movie. I talked until I was blue in the face trying to convince them the decision was a huge mistake. They did not care.
Yep that's a typical seagal's film production. 🤣
Is there alink where I can read a bit more about production of this masterpiece?
@@AK-74KIt’s in the Wikipedia page Mercenary for Justice. en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mercenary_for_Justice.
28 days? I didn’t know Sensei Seagull had it in him.
You missed the most hilarious part of all I almost fall from my chair laughing at this "Fauntleroy claims the producers "just hated Steven and their whole existence was to destroy him, staff of personal, and the film"
Honestly I’m not even remotely shocked that Seagal films take 28 days. With how poorly these are acted & edited, it definitely feels like these movies are on a “only one take” shooting schedule. That’s the only reason I can fathom for his hilarious voice-over moments.
Please never stop making these. I don't know who's quicker you reviewing Seagal's movies or Seagal filming them...
please SS don't stop making movies
His reviews are the best. I cannot stop laughing.
I wish he would do Sniper Special Ops.
Seagal needs to do some kickstarter campaigns to raise funds for films. It would be totally worth the donation.
@@JRRob3wnhahaha yes it would !!
It's gonna be a sad day when Space Ice runs out of Steven Seagal movies to make fun of.
I am afraid of that day
A sad day for Space ice but a glorious day for a Seagal free humankind.
Hopefully it'll take a while.
There's plenty of terrible and awful action movies being made every day. Seagal's are just the beginning.
Then he can start reviewing Bruce Willis films.
Space Ice’s unrelenting annoyance with Seagal’s latest nonsense always brings a smile
I hope this channel grows, i was angry as hell then once i saw space ice dropped a video i had a smile on my face coz i knew he wouldn't disappoint
@@louismasalesa1212 he was at 30k when I found him now he’s closing in on 100k
It’s like comfort food for the brain, isn’t it?
I love “Hawaiian” pizza and wouldn’t waste it on a Seagal “movie” 😂😂😂
A double feature posted in 10 minutes. Best morning ever. God I love this channel and I hope Steven Seagal never runs out of movies to make so you can keep watching them.
Just realized, the other one is a repost. I've watched it multiple times, so despite not remembering the titles because it's Seagal, I immediately noticed upon starting the vid xD
@@GrubbJunker Same here! I recognized the jokes, not the movie lol
@@ASnakeintheGrass so many of his straight to DVD flicks are so indistinguishable from each other that it’s easy to see why you can’t remember them or tell them apart.
That may be the cruelest thing anyone has ever wished upon another person.
RIP Michael K Williams, even Omar couldn't make a Steven Seagal movie look decent.
😂😂😂 its fucking crazy how the helll did he even get this role and why hes such a good actor
He lives on in our memory, and in Seagal's weird quasi-black accent.
I feel sorry for him having to share screen time with fat seagul
Omar comin' , Chalky White. What a great actor on the wire and boardwalk Empire. RIP Michael K. Williams.
It's like asking for the sun to set in the east
He refuses to be considered a bad character in any capacity. “I’ll be a mercenary…but only for justice. And money. But mostly justice, make sure that’s in there.”
this is what happens when you pollute the plaaaanet
This is the funniest channel ever! I just discovered it 2 days ago and it's all I've been watching. Amazing! Keep it up
Right? Its SPOT ON hilarious 😂😂
He could have saved 30 minutes of movie and just paid a prison official cause thats how we roll here in South Africa 🤣
Hahahaha
I was about to say. Billionaire sons get out of prison with bags of one hundred thousand dollars thrown around.
@@Ironman1o1wouldn't even need that much to be honest
@@pencilcase8068You just need a coke and give him like R500
It’s always great writing when characters explicitly say who they are and what their motives are.
“I’m le french ambassadeur!”
''I'm the Black Peepee guy.''
I bet Jeff Wadlow (Director of Truth Or Dare and Fantasy Island) is Steven Seagal's apprentice 😂😂
I'm an unemployed Norwegian with too many pets living on a disability pension in Morocco mainly for the cheap hashish. A well written comment right there methinks.
Yes, like those nice rappers we used to have who would always tell you who they were and what they were here to say at the beginning of the rap.
I worked on that one years ago, got shot dead in the bank scene. All the stunt guys were complaining that Steven was intentionally kicking them in their nuts on every fight. I got paid 😅
Stunt guys hate Seagal because he is an undisciplined prick.
"I got paid" sounds like the best Glassdoor rating Seagal is ever really gonna get.
Every stunt guy walking around with hurt nuts lol
Lol are you one of the guys at 11:40?
@@OzgurNevres Yep, cop shot on right, then alive walking in at 11:52 😅
She walked across a battlefield to give him a piece of her mind😂😂😂😂
At 8:08, I can't get over how the celloist on the right isn't even trying. Like, she's holding her bow all wrong and nowhere near the strings. She knew what this movie was.
Gets an A+ for enthusiasm, though
Haha just liked seagal 8:47 punch gap
Omg, she was a good 10 inches from the strings.
🤣🤣🤣
@@SpaceIce 🤣
Seagal is now the undisputed world heavyweight champion of comedy.
Undisputed Heavyweight Hot Dog Eating Champion.
I pray for more Space Ice videos daily. This channel has legit become of of my all time favorite things ever. Space Ice:100 point, Steven Seagal: -10,000.
A friend of mine actually worked on this film🤣 He said the crew eventually stopped caring and started hiding a little green frog in all of the scenes. I couldn't be bothered to watch the film, but I've always wondered whether they managed. Has anyone watched the movie and been able to pick it up?
Holy shit lmao I read your comment and went looking for a little green frog. I found one lol at 10:40 of this video when the bank worker turns around you can see the green frog as he moves right behind him. That's hilarious.
11:54 I found one.
Oh shit, I've just finished watching this movie... Now I have to rewatch this trash to find those god damn frogs!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣
This is next level IRL trolling. Brilliant.
Jesus Christ!!😂😂😂
Did anybody else catch that cellist on the far right side at 8:08 just flopping around and not really playing? I died laughing at that one 😂😂😂
Ffs ahha
Still more real than Seagal's punch 8:44
Air cello 😂
I learned to strike from seagul - Anderson silva
“After creating many orphans and widows” 😅 lol
"After creating many orphans and widows..." It's lines like this that keep me coming back to these videos. Good stuff.
The amount of times he has fired guns you'd think he would've learned not to flinch and blink.
@@cactusmalone He's probably too fat to get it to his shoulder.
He was once cop, hard to believe.
And to look at what you're shooting.
He is also a buddhist monk, so he abhors the use of weapons to begin with.
@@Ondr4H eh he's a typical moron cop in 'Murica 🤪
"You know you've crossed the line when you say something so stupid even seigal can't believe it.."😂 5:58
😂😂 epic
"To be fair, the army was French..." will never cease to rock my world 🤣
Nobody respects France.
French Army: Je surrender.
En tant que Français je comfirme, surtout avec les dirigeants de merde qu'on à actuellement mdr 😂
@@AMBEE-sp2ev
Would be funnier if last war lost was against vietnam, korea, irak instead of roided up WW2 Germany.
"The movie never tells us" is the most frequently uttered statement across all Seagal movie reviews.
Dude that punch at 8:46 had me gasping. Brilliant.
Lololol
Ha. 🫣 Lol ?
Shit that looked goofy as fuck while in Seagals point of view he just threw some bolo shots at that homie 😮
Steven always tries to put some mystical/magic BS in his movies, so that can be considered as just a standard use of telekinetic punch.
5:33 as a corrections officer this line gave me a headache, the number of "guards" has no effect on the alarm system...why would we turn off the alarm system due to the amount of officers on duty? It's never and i mean NEVER shut off for anything. Even a power outage. The only effect an increased number of officers being on duty would have is fewer hall walks and inmate checks for each individual officer and probably an argument over what UA-cam channel is pulled up in the control room and if it's not SpaceIce then it will probably be Donut Operator. Maybe at the worst coffee shortage
God, please let Steven Seagal keep making movies.
Let every one from every religion pray for this
Inshallah we get decades more dogshit movies from the 9th degree black belt of sexual techniques to harass women with.
Yes, but only because of the reviews on this channel. Not gonna watch a Seagal movie unless I can verify that it is good , (as Space Ice identifies them)
@@TehNarrator I’m with you 😎
@@TehNarrator so basically 1 movie ever. Under Seige
Mercenary for justice, when you think that these movie names cannot sound dumber.
The only rule on Steven Seagal-movie titles is that you can put the words "Steven Seagal is..." before it. Apart from Exit Wounds, it works every time.
Sniper special ops no punctuation had me rolling when I saw it along with the photoshop of seagals fat head on someone else’s body 😂
Seagals next movie is called the honest terrorist
@@CanalPSG Well. these movies are full of unnecessary killings.
Im still wondering why none of his "pieces of art" has name "Die for no reason" or "Urge to kill" .
Don't give him ideas...
The fact that the CIA offers a resource for filmmakers to use and Seagal disregarded it to make the shittiest CIA watermark in the history of the CIA is impressive to me.
Idk, I bet the CIA was like, "Nope, fuck nope, we're not helping Seagal."
EVERY time you talk about the body double as though he is an acknowledged character in the movie, I die laughing. BRAVO
Remember, he didn't become a movie star to make money, he became a movie star to save the world. NEVER forget the sacrifice he made for you all.
True, he was out to save humanity, whether anyone liked it or not 👍
Steven Seagal: The Silver Screen Jesus
Jesus is such a fraud, he doesn't even compare to Seagal.
@@CharlieBurns75 Jesus can turn water into wine and Seagal can turn a script into shit so they're evenly matched.
I will...I will
7:57 they used a body double for Seagal's shadow ☠️☠️ he has to be trolling us at this point there's no way he's doing this unironically😂
"There is no way that f*cked up building is the most secure anything" had me pissing 😂 I only discovered this channel today and I'm already hooked. Thanks for making life a lot more fun
It makes you feel like you've been missing out on something special for way too long after discovering this channel lol.. Why couldn't I find this during covid when I was stuck in the house for 11 days! 😕
@@joeyj5924 Exactly. Im also just on board now and this channel is pure magic.
@@runetoudahl6 for sure!! Space Ice is so damn funny 😂.. I think his voice is 50% of it lol. He does a damn good job with these vids and I'm actually glad to have just discovered it to be honest. Even though you can watch these vids a few times and still hurt yourself laughing, it's great to have many vids to get to that have yet to be seen lol.
@@joeyj5924 because none of these videos existed in 2020 bud lol
@@anatorres-ym8ke well either way, I'm glad I have much more content to watch for the first time lol.
Seagal's subtle facial expression in the thumbnail is some of the best acting he's ever done. What range!
My man ate a whole lemon to prepare for it.
"Segal felt those burritos and then destroyed the bathroom for a good 30 minutes"😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
That was epic 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Watching Micheal Williams play in a Seagal movie was awfully hurtful
Thank you
I thought the same.
Is this before The Wire?
Absolutely true.
Oh really? What about all the girls featured in his movie? They cant undo it all
I know, right?? He's a legend, Omar Little from 'The Wire'. WTF is he doing here?? Williams must be really in need for the money.
I love that no matter how old he is, Seagal is the same character is every movie that is asked to provide his skills. Need to break into a crumbling prison in South Africa? Only one man on the planet could ever pull that off.
Him and me
The fact that "Opps" is not changed just shows the sheer massive talent the production team (Mainly Seagal I guess) possesses.
I like how he kept saying O p p through out his review😂😂
Perhaps its a real thing. Who are we to question sensei Seagal?
Opps! I mean, oops!
My ears perked when his stolen valor was so specific. Highly doubt this was on purpose, but I know for a fact it’s universally accepted the most decorated soldier of desert storm is General Norman Schwarzkopf. A name I remember bc 1. It’s unique 2. His dad was head of the Lindbergh investigation. It’s relevant to seagals stolen valor bc the generals Nick name was storming Norman aka THE BEAR. Seagall out here dropping Easter eggs for us to pick up on 😂
Dude nobody can convince me that Seagal is not trolling.
"Titanium vanadium" 🤣
Weirdly, that really is a thing. Although, nobody's going to make a vault door out of it and they probably got that right by accident. 😄
@@zoopdterdoobdter5743ha. I guess it is. Didnt think it to be, thanks.
But i should clarify: thats not why i think Seagal has been trolling all these years.
I just find that wording really funny titanium vanadium.
Thank you for this. I find my attempts to articulate my gratitude for your work practically incomprehensible.
Your work is a truly amazing blessing for myself and the 22 other Marines who share our V.A.'s PTSD group. We have taken to using the content which you obviously slave over, and is of the highest quality, like a book club I suppose. I can only speak for myself but from the conversations that we have twice a week I believe that I'm not the only Devil Dog who clings to your work like a life raft upon being awoken by the hyper vigilence, the night-terrors etc.
The witching hours where you can't quite believe that I've not awoken to a world that I am no longer tethered to. I find myself turning on the radio and TV as well as the PC in a feeble attempt to convince myself that I AM still alive ( whether I deserve to be or not ) the Existential horror I have building within myself at pace with the growing certainty that I am alone in an empty world. Although from the corner eyes I catch glimpses of people going about their lives and there's a constant.."hum" of billions of overlapping whispered conversations were I can almost understand a word here and there. I believe that I can dispel the terror that is tightening around my chest by waking up my miracle of a Daughter..but what if she's not there or is but is unable to perceive me..these are fleeting thoughts and the real reason for my self imposed nightly exhile is in large part because my Daughter should be taken care of by me and NOT the other way around ! She NEEDS to experience being a softmore in college. Another part being my horribly insufficient attempt to suffer enough to sate the dept I owe to the many who didn't make it home despite being far better for the world, and the people who lost them. Whatever the reasons may truly be..your hard work is a hand reaching out to tell us that we are not alone. I know several Marines that have said almost the exact same thing. I hope that you and those you care for are happy, healthy, and safe Semper Fidelis.
P.S. I apologize for any words that are out of context or poor punctuation and misspellings I lost my hand in Afghanistan so now I dictate rather than type and the program seems to be under the impression that due to my Italian heritage I must have a Rocky Balboa esk speech impediment.
The scary thing is, these terrible movies are a drastic upgrade from how horrible he is in real life.
I seen a story from a reddit thread mentioning celebrities people have met and Segal was mentioned. Poster said he leaves his sheriff vehicle parked in places it's not allowed to be cause he thinks as a cop he's the law itself.
Yeah in the movies he plays a creep who also saves the day and defeats a criminal organization. In real life he's just a creep
@@armoredchimpand possibly helps criminal organisations
Dude, I hope you know you created something no one will take away from you and the yt audience can’t get enough of. I literally thought „god I hope there’s more of these“ a minute ago, good for you, man. Much success, all power to you, and my condolences for watching all these. You’re really suffering for Steven Seagal‘s sins to free us from trauma 😂❤
9:53 You know the prison really is of the highest security when they arm their regular work a day guards with FUCKING ROCKET LAUNCHERS.
The introduction for new guards :
Day 1 - General induction and health and safety.
Day 2 - De-escalation techniques and appropriate use of force.
Day 3 - Advanced spec opps training in use of C4, rocket propelled grenades and the super secret sonic death-punch.
I would never watch a Stephan Segal movie, but I have no problem watching every one of these videos.
The only movies of his I actually enjoyed were the ones from the 90's. Undersiege and... shit i forgot the one where he was a cop... either way those were like, the only one's he actually seemed to try.
The first ones he did were actually, right? I'm not quite old enough to remember. (I was born in '84)
Under siege, Nico & hard to kill were pretty good.
The most unrealistic part of any Seagal movie is when a bad guy grabs his body double, because there's no way someone would be able to get their arms around Seagal.
And if they did I doubt they could hold on. I imagine him he's slightly clammy and sweaty at all times, so their hands would just slide off. It's a side effect of how he's ALWAYS being alert to danger, of course 😉
I disagree. I think the most unrealistic part is that the hot young woman always wants a piece of his old fat ass 😂
It's like 4 incomplete movies packed into 1. The man's got skill
Seagal did it again! Using a body double for dangerous stunts like getting out of a car and walking around in hallways. WALKING! xD
We need to encourage Seagal to make more movies! To keep Space Ice well stock.
"...Seagal's plane lands in South Africa and must've had a 'big and tall' store, because Seagal comes out wearing a completely different outfit...". Gold! 🤣
“To be fair , the army was french “ .😂😂😂 i died.
I love this channel so much. I understand why it's growing so fast and believe it may bring the world together.
I remember ordering a bunch of cheap used Seagal DVDs having only seen a couple of his early films and expecting a forgettable yet entertaining low budget action romp. This was first and only one I tried to watch. I remember honestly wondering if I’d gotten a dodgy pirate copy made from a file someone had chopped up and re-edited to make smaller or avoid copyright or something, but nope he’s just that bad.
4:10 almost laughed when u said "oh pee pee"
When you zoomed in at 7:10, if you take the time to read, it's filled with spelling errors 🤣🤣
"Assist our agents in THERE investigations..." 💀
The Neil Breen of action movies
Well Seagal was here first so technically Neil Breen is the Steven Seagal of zero-budget pseudo-artsy movies made purely because he can't suck his own cock.
very apt description
Don't insult an accomplished action star of the 90s like
Neil Breen like that...
Watch it
They should make a movie together
Neil Breen movies are better
Seagal now makes movies just so you can review them. He found a new cult fan base via your channel, a base that regards him as a misunderstood comedy genius
Real
At 8:35 Seagal is going for the upper decker.... CLASSIC Seagal move! He trained in Japan for years for this, its well documented.
“For daring to Out Dumb him in his own movie, seagal decides to kick his ass, but he’s also tired from all the walking his body double did”
MY FAVORITE LINE 😂😂😂
"Seagal doesn't call himself the great one for nothing" is such a good line
Holy wow, was this actually a Seagal movie with no strip club scene, or disgusting sex scene? 🤔😂🤣
Maybe we just missed it?
To see that you have to buy the Ultra Supremely Limited Legendary Director's Cut: Remastered Edition
I wanted to see Sifu doing it with that black chick.
It’s only disgusting because his ugly ass is in it
@@RaneBoDasch Remasturbator Edition
This is arguably the funniest channel i have ever stumbled upon, i can't stop laughing, great job space ice
Space Ice is one of the few that can say “luckily, they all die” and we find it hilarious.
“I swear to God, women will pick a fight anywhere.” It’s the true stuff that’s the funniest.😂
is he wrong tho? how many times have i seen someone get their asses beat ; over a woman who took things way to far? its all over tik tok; so it does happen. but this is besides the point. he's not wrong tho.
"They say fuck it and take his body double instead" LOL
How the hell did Michael K Williams end up in a Segal movie?!
Money money monay! MONEY!
Even Michael Caine was in a Seagal movie!!! 😆
I'm going to pretend that he did this movie because he lost a bet to someone
These B rated straight to DVD movies make the lead actors a ton of money. On average Segal gets 10-20 million for 3 weeks of shooting. There's a documentary on the king of dvd movies (I forgot his name) but he makes a fortune churning out these bad movies for aging actors. The films take 2-3 weeks and they film in countries like Budapest, Romania, etc. It is all about saving money so the actors and producers get rich quick for shooting on very short schedules in countries that hardly tax them. Try and search for the documentary because it is shocking how much these actors make. Bruce Willis does them as well and usually films for 3 days to get all his scenes done for the dvd and gets paid 10 million for those days.
@@dontcare7086 that's scary and sad if he's getting 10 million or more per film. Got nothing against people becoming wealthy, but at least create a decent product/service, snd have pride and integrity in your work.
Steven seagal Should never stop making movies. We need more review like this lmao
he's 70 bro. if he stops acting; he will just go straight to production. i think he wants to do this for the rest of his life.
@@ChickenMcThiccken
Cheers to that this shit is gold I have tears in my eyes
This movie is from 2006
Given what happened with Alec Baldwin and the film Rust, I think it's a miracle that actors and crew members aren't actually being killed left right and centre on the sets of these movies.
especially when they are all shot in foreign locales which likely have very lax movie safety laws.
Meh, not every actor is as arrogant and eager to continue being ignorant of gun safety rules as Alec Baldwin.
@@orppranator5230 He was handed a gun loaded with blanks by the armourer and one of the bullets was live unknown to him..
@@clinteranovic8075 no excuse for lack of basic firearms safety.
@@thepoliticalgunnut8018 The basic firearm safety was the responsibility of the person who loaded the gun with a live round. The idea that the only difference between a live round and a blank would be that the blank gives a little rattling sound when you shake it is unbelievable.
You know it's a Seagal movie when the opening scene has nothing to do with the rest of the movie and is never mentioned again... 🤣
To be fair, it doesn't involve any forseeable consequence.
The french republic is famously chill about the murder of their ambassadors, is o ly a UN security council member, and has just a mostly expeditionnary military force, with bases around the world.
Sidenote, a pity the french officer telling his men to "stand down" wasn't followed by Seagal's men being heavily gunned down, as it's an order which has a higher chance of being followed by english speaking troops.
That suit he got at the airport was duty free. It’s hard to resist a deal like that.
8:15 the story of the burrito Cracked me the fuck up!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Wow, I just realized that you actually had to go through the torture of watching Seagal movies to make these videos. Just wanted to say we very much appreciate your sacrifice! Thank you for your service
I remember watching this movie as a 12 year old and thinking it was absolute trash. The scene where he walks up the car, gets in, says a few things, gets out and waddles off to the response 'the man's a ghost' had me cracking up.
I stopped watching his movies when I was about 12 as well. My mom loved his movies a lot and she ended up watching them alone
Sad AF@@malcolmcurve9511
6:24 I'm sure Seagal wants us to think all the fight scenes he does while sitting down make him look badass, but we know it's his sciatica acting up.
I like this channel mostly for its fair and unbiased reviews.
Us Rinzlers have the same taste in UA-cam content haha!
That guy who played the "Black Opps Producer" is actually a very good actor. I don't know HOW he ended up becoming involved with Seagal's movie.
Michael Kennith Williams, AKA 'Omar from the Wire' aka 'Chalky White from Boardwalk Empire' is in this movie. WTF.
Maybe 1 out of 10 of those poor souls somehow manage to revive their career. Which is nothing short of a miracle because, you know, reviving something that's supposed to be dead.
People gotta earn my guy
Everyone start somewhere
Maybe he did it as a hobby
2:46 "to be fair that army was french, but still" LMFAO
Every time you make one of a Segal film, you call it the worst movie ever ---- and you've never actually been wrong..
That was a fantastic intro!
"If you look past all that Steven Seagal is lacking - talent, ambition, skill, you'll still realize he's the worst." 🤣
They couldn't even spell "ops" right🤣😂
1:48
“I swear to god. Woman will pick a fight anywhere!” True…🙃
If they are angry, know they are right and have a point, they will hunt you down, until you admit and apologize for everything.
13:27 “this guy is standing in the middle of a fucking hallway” lmfao
The gleeful scorn at which you utterly dismantle Steven is priceless. I never fail to laugh myself into a fit!!
Oh my goodness. These are so great. I only worry that one day there will be no more Seagal movies to review. But until then, each Seagal movie is like a little blessing from heaven. Keep up the good work, brother.
This is my main concern. He needs to diversify after he reviews all of Seagal movies.
There’s a LOT of them tho. It will take a while.
Holy shit the daughter of the french ambassador splits in half when they fly out of the car. Just the cherry on top of that completely nonsensical side quest.
i don't think its possible to ever create a better Video title than "its so bad it puts pineapple on Pizza"! Well done, Space Ice! This Channel is already on legendary level!
The "off-center straight arm handshake" is such a power move in hand-to-hand combat, I'm surprised Steve was able to minorly inconvenience that guy.