You’re the most hilarious channel I’ve ever come across. The fucking jokes about “making body doubles do XYZ” and segal “waddle-running” / shooting without looking, etc are fucking hilarious . I’ve cried laughing at your channel several times . My favorite channel in 12+ years of watching UA-cam ❤
I love how the premise is "zombies are scared of sunlight." So everyone decides to travel in the night time, you know when the zombies would want to move around.
Yeah well when every movie Keoni Waxman makes is a 24 hour movie challenge you can't be worried about little details like increasing your survival in a survival movie.
Eh, I would say that’s one of the only things that make sense. If they’re afraid of the sun then they’ll hide in the buildings during the day and go out during the night, leaving the building less populated. Like Dying Light, like the person above me typed.
From IMDB: “The vampires in the film greatly resemble zombies, because the original screenplay had them as zombies. Steven Seagal demanded the script be changed to vampires though because he hates zombies.”
Dude, how does someone like Seagal with such ties to Hollywood as he used to have, make films just a sliver better in quality above a Niel Breen film?!
"he slaps the zombies with his flimsy sword, which doesn't even cut them but still causes them to fall down and die out of embarrassment for being involved in this travesty" LMFAO 😂😂😂
Bro please understand the logic behind it before commenting in a stupid way. He was slapping the zombies because deep down Seagal knows not all Zombies are bad. He was trying to slap and make them understand that they do not have to behave that way. He wanted to slap some common sense to them. That is why we were given a lecture on what is an infection prior to the movie. These movies are planned for decades before production. Respect.
I don't know what's worse: watching 90's ponytail Segal run like a girl, or today's Segal, who has morphed into Jabba the Hut, attempt to waddle breathlessly down the hall.
@@HappyHarryHardon I’m almost a heavy, but I’m only 40 and not worn out yet. Even if this jackass was thin he’d still be too pathetically old for these roles.
I always kinda liked Seagal movies, but I dont think much when watching movies because no movie is without sins (nonsense) But this channel makes me laugh good
I agree!- as kids we laughed with glee when he took down baddies- now that we're older, we laugh at his fast food takeaway movies, to keep stress away.
The fact that the zombie tried to lure the woman with "come closer, i'll tell you a secret", which is something you'd try to lure a 3 year old is so hilarious to me.
Trust me I won't bite you, why would I? Are you just assuming 'cause I'm a zombie? You're racist! She comes closer and gets bitten That would've been epic!
I feel like this was originally meant to be a homebrew zombie movie made by college kids just for fun, but then the Director made some calls and came back saying "Guess what guys?! This is going to be a Steven Seagal movie now!!"
You could actually hear the desperation in Seagal's voice when they're walking down the hall and the woman says, "it's just down here." And he asks, "how far?" I could tell at that very moment he didn't know if he could make it.
"We're not here to decide who's right or wrong. We're here to decide who lives and dies." That would be a cool line if it were spoken by _literally_ anyone other than Seagal.
I think a couple of people could've pulled that quote off and not have it be corny as fuck: Karl Urban and Lance Henriksen spring to mind. Michael Biehn and Keanu Reeves could pull that quote off, too.
I was telling the same thing to a friend the other day. Steven Seagal is a master of surreal cinema. He will be remembered as a great surreal moviemaker one day.
@@lucacrespi88 I find his movies absolutely hysterical and he even does the same running jokes how he always ends up at a strip club and ends up having to protect some 21 year old girl who falls head over heels for his old manly kungfu charms and cringe voice
I’m withholding judgement here…Seagal might bang a waitress while fully clothed, then martial arts some dudes to death, and never stop banging the waitress.
The amount of trauma Space Ice has suffered having to actually watch all these piles of Seagal crap to give these amazing videos is unimaginable... Thank you Space Ice for the sacrifice you've made!
The elevator scene actually cracked me up. They just undid the death of the volunteering guy in less than 5 seconds for absolutely no reason. "Oh I guess he's dead now, that tangent doesn't go anywhere let's just make the elevator work again". A+ writing
The actress who gets snatched out the elevator door by the zombie @14:37 shows the most genuine look of surprise as he pulls her back. Seagal ran out of money ("ate through his budget") towards the end of filming and pitched a "surprise death" to the remaining cast members (as a cost cutting measure). 🤣 Her reaction was the only genuine display of "acting" in this mess and you can only see it for a moment, but awesome.
Basically, "OH shit! You didn't tell me this would be my last scene! My character totally had 20 more pages of standing around and doing nothing in the script!" She was pissed that she was not getting anymore days of pay. Segal probably paid a grip to make-up like a zombie hide just out of frame, then grab her at a pre-arranged signal.
@@joelellis7035 She was doubly shocked because she's a hottie AND had already been "Seagal'd"...she figured she was safe from any surprise "Red Shirt" moment. D'oh! Which teaches us all a valuable "Now You Know" lesson: Don't get "Seagal'd" until the movie wraps! 🤣
It's funny when one of seagal's acquaintances was taken by a zombie and they're like "No. It's too late there's no way she could beat that one zombie." while you have that scene where a random civilian lady just beat the hell out of a zombie bare handed by choking it and hitting it in the nuts.
This is true. At some point, these presentations are going to get recognized and the level of popularity will explode. What's really needed, however, is to set up a Patreon account with some decent (albeit, non-expensive) perks in order to market these solid offerings. That's where some of the energy should be placed. 😀
This is by far the best zombie themed film ever. The combination of Seagal and zombies will be a timeless treasure to be cherished by fans for an eternity. Seagal slapping the hell out of zombies with a sword and kicking them in the balls.
Arnold Schwarzenegger did End of Days, Predator, and Terminator. Bruce Willis was in Planet Terror. Vin Diesel did Pitch Black. Chuck Norris did Silent Rage. Kurt Russell was in Deathproof. Danny Glover was in Saw and Predator 2.
Really funny review. I used to love zombie movies. I'd even go see the George Romero films in the theater (by myself), when they came out. It took Steven Seagal and his master film-making to help me get over that.
Lol, the very first line "Have you ever wanted to see Steven Segual vs zombie vampires? Of course not, nobody has!" in this movie review had me laughing my butt off.
@@joshuastandlee3455 not to the camera, he never shows it to the camera. Or the audience would sense his weakness thus making his cuck-fears increase. So it’s a good thing we don’t see it, or he would feel compelled to bring more unaware women to the set…. to “protect” of course. 😏
They also got the quote wrong (its written as "abandon hope all ye who enter here", its "abandon all hope ye who enter here") but I'd wager that was Seagal not being able to read.
Please tell me this is true and isn’t just a funny thing to say. I recall when Seagal first came around, we all bought the line that he was a legit hard-ass and just decided to get into movies, so, like Chuck Norris, his wooden acting was acceptable. He was breaking bones and marrying Kelly LeBrock and overly self-serious, but fine. But good grief - how could someone idolize Seagal after his fakey Aikido demonstrations, all these terrible films, all his made-up shadowy pasts and ethnicities, and him acting like he’s this huge patriot who just can’t say what-all he did as a (CIA operative, Green Beret, SEaL) while palling around with Putin and other adversaries of the West? I admire the chutzpah, but let’s just say his bona fides weren’t what we all thought. Oh, and for a reincarnated Buddhist rimpoche, he’s had some pretty terrible accusations made about him by more than a few women.
I just recently discovered this channel, and I’ve gotta say the way you commentate on your videos is pretty funny. “She gets out of it by choking the zombie back. And then just beating his ass” was my favorite part 😄
while serving as stunt coordinator for Out for Justice, LeBell allegedly got into an on-set altercation with Seagal over his mistreatment of some of the film's stunt performers. After the actor claimed that, due to his aikido training, he was "immune" to being choked unconscious, LeBell offered Seagal the opportunity to prove it. LeBell is said to have placed his arms around Seagal's neck, and once Seagal said "go", proceeded to choke him unconscious, with Seagal losing control of his bowels
@@plasentaman6061 Unfortunately not but the real story goes is that Seagal hit Gene as hard as he could in the balls that it made Gene jump in the air. However, Gene still had his arms around Seagull and slammed him to the ground.
*Wow, why did that zombie talk like Jigsaw?* "dO yOu wAnt tO pLaY a gAmE, I mEaN bE iN a sEagAl mOvIe?" "No, absolutely not." "yOu hAvE pAsSeD tHe tEsT."
Why did they change the set up so much? It makes sense that people go to a hospital to find medicine. They could've had one group stay by the window, with a plan for others go to find medicine for the little girl. As the members of the group disappear and get killed, other members go to look for them. Or the window could've been crowded by zombies, causing them to leave the window and travel deeper into the hospital. Also, the doctor guy should've been the main villain. He could have secret passages through the hospital, and captures the group to feed to his daughter. He could also have zombie cronies, because he feeds them live victims. It was like they had a bunch of set ups, but just wanted to get the script and movie done asap.
I remember this movie. This movie cemented my opinion that Seagal's career in mainstream was over. Before this, I saw "Glimmer Man" and I was confused as to wether or not Seagal was still a good action star, but this movie made it clear.
I've seen a handfull of channels reviewing Stegal/bad films and I have to say, I don't think it ever gets old. I thought I was only gonna watch half a video and move on, but I laughed thoughout the whole thing so now I'm an avid fan. What has my life become?
The very same here. So many of those channels exist but I recently found this channel & really like this guy. Much funnier than the other Seagal channels.
10:21 - "Please understand that in Seagal movies no matter how bad you think it is, it can always get worse". He definitely proved that to us with Attrition, didn't he? I couldn't possibly believe he could make something worse than Kill Switch, I mean that was such an atrocity I could not conceive that something worse than that could be made. However, Seagal rose up to the plate and came through... L:OL. This is why today I don't dare to say that he can't possibly make anything worse than Attrition LOL.
Thoughts and Prayers to the tripping dead guy and the zombie with a secret. I'm happy one had fun and the other didn't ruin a friendship by spreading a secret. Great movie.
You have now achieved the title of "KING of movie reviewers". Everything you say is pure gold. There is no one who would dare to oppose to your opinions about movies.
These videos are proof that comedy is more than timing. Not only do we have the spoofy movie voice, but the vocal frustration with how stupid the premise is is genuinely funny. The way you described pulling out a blanket and going to sleep in a zombie hallway is gold. I've cried laughing watching these. You're the best thing to happen to Stephen Seagal, meaning you're the only good thing to happen to Stephen sagaul.
I love how you can actually see they only painted the water zombie's hands and face and how it' isn't even addressed because that's the kinda of quality we have come to expect from Seagal movies.
His movies are generally torture to sit through, with some funny bits sprinkled here and there. Space Ice's recap/roast videos are what make them funny.
Everyone who comments should get together and make a sequel but I get to be the director, star, writer, hero, best ponytail haver, and anyone who questions me will be sent to re education but no we're in it together lol
The best thing Steven Seagal ever gave us is Space Ice. If there's one word to sum up Steven Seagal movies, it's the completely deflated, disappointed, hopeless, and sad way Space Ice just says: "...... anyways"😄 I watch these reviews 2, 3, sometimes 4 times or more. I should be allowed to give them 2, 3, or 4 'likes'. Keep up the great work.
Your father, Movie Phone Guy, must be so proud! I belly laugh out loud several times during all your videos. Thank you and may the Movie Gods Bless you for all your work Sh¡t Talking Narration Man!
I remember buying this when it came out cause Seagal vs zombies sounded like dumb fun. I think I made it halfway through before turning it off and putting it back on the shelf where it's remained for fifteen years.
I just found your channel, and I’m so pleased that I did! I have a deep and irrational hatred of Steven Seagal, so watching videos that rips his movies to shreds is my absolute guilty pleasure. 😂😂😂 Thank you for your content, I’m off to binge your library now.
Its remarkable how Seagal with literally zero talent in acting, story writing and direction doesn't let it stop him from doing acting, story writing and direction.
No way ! They actually put the joke from the end of Myth: the Fallen lords, "At the Stair of Grief our swords got so dull we had to fight with our bare hands ! And you know how hard it is to strangle the undead." into the movie ! Brilliant !
To be fair, with all the doors being welded, you can easily imagine a scenario where people were trying to hold out against the zombies, welding the doors shut, but eventually failed, and most of the zombies that are in there were once the same people that welded the doors shut.
While a hospital would indeed be full of valuable items in a zombie apocalypse, even if the actual zombie disease can't be cured, I've never visited a hospital that I'd like to use as a fortress. The architecture and layouts haven't seemed overly defensible, which is understandable considering the purpose they have been built for. They have large windows, even indoor windows between corridors and rooms, a whole lot of doors, and some of those doors obviously are very large. The movie said all corridors lead to the same place, which, while silly, does have some metaphorical truth in it because due to importance of logistics, hospitals have a pretty clear network of corridors taking you everywhere, including taking you to the zombies and the zombies to you. So, it would be challenging to keep the zombies out and once in, it would be futile to try to keep them from spreading. Not to mention, a hospital might be full of zombies from the beginning, since the first wave of infected people would be taken to hospitals, before anyone knew it was an incurable zombie disease.
Check out my Patreon for ad-free and censorship free videos: patreon.com/Space_Ice
You got to turn it down bro I almost got my coffee out of my nose
11% rooter tomatoes 💩💩💩💩
GotDamnit you are hilarious
Has there ever been one of his movies you liked? Some of his early stuff was pretty good. Imho.
You’re the most hilarious channel I’ve ever come across. The fucking jokes about “making body doubles do XYZ” and segal “waddle-running” / shooting without looking, etc are fucking hilarious . I’ve cried laughing at your channel several times . My favorite channel in 12+ years of watching UA-cam ❤
You gotta give Seagal some credit. He was able to make an entire movie without going to the strip club!
I bet he went many times
The strip club is implied by the amount of time he isn't on screen
😂 This comment is FAR too underrated 😂
TAKE DONALD TRUMP STIR IN KUNG FU YOU GOT SEGAL 😂 LISTEN NOW CLOSE WITH THAT IN MIND 😂
Oh, he went
I love how the premise is "zombies are scared of sunlight." So everyone decides to travel in the night time, you know when the zombies would want to move around.
why don't they use fireworks to while their at it like the hippies did in zombie land 2 haha
Yeah well when every movie Keoni Waxman makes is a 24 hour movie challenge you can't be worried about little details like increasing your survival in a survival movie.
It’s pretty much like the game dying light
Eh, I would say that’s one of the only things that make sense. If they’re afraid of the sun then they’ll hide in the buildings during the day and go out during the night, leaving the building less populated. Like Dying Light, like the person above me typed.
And not once do they ever actually even at least show the zombies running away or hiding from sunlight. Lmao.
From IMDB:
“The vampires in the film greatly resemble zombies, because the original screenplay had them as zombies. Steven Seagal demanded the script be changed to vampires though because he hates zombies.”
"Eh, they won't know the difference. I don't."
I feel like that is backwards. It's more like zombies that 'resemble' vampires, not the opposite
They're actually the test audience from Seagal's last movie.
@@nodiggity9472 Facts. I watched "A Good Man" and looked like that for a week. There are good films in this world though, so it didn't last.
@@ared4108 The cure is watching JCVD dancing in a bar in Thailand
Dude, I am completely addicted to your channel. May you never run out of Segal movies to talk about. This is gold.
FAAAAAAAAAAAACTS
Amen! 👏🏾👍🏾🤟🏾🙏🏾
Knowing Seagal he's got plenty more to come. 😆 🤣
I agree, as this is wildly refreshing, and just generally fun. The movie voice is killing me with the sarcasm 🔥🤸🏾♂️🔥
For real
"He forgets what movie he's in and kicks the zombie in the nuts" gold
😂😂😂🤣
Best part
Had rolling
SEAgal the only actor in history to use a stunt double for a casual walking scene
he dosent get paid to walk
Hey! Walking is hard work when you're as fat as salad-dodger Seagal!
@@franceskeith4934
Or waddle 😂
Dude, how does someone like Seagal with such ties to Hollywood as he used to have, make films just a sliver better in quality above a Niel Breen film?!
@@peeko_luxx2873cause they’re money laundering schemes, not actual movies
"he slaps the zombies with his flimsy sword, which doesn't even cut them but still causes them to fall down and die out of embarrassment for being involved in this travesty" LMFAO 😂😂😂
Bro please understand the logic behind it before commenting in a stupid way.
He was slapping the zombies because deep down Seagal knows not all Zombies are bad.
He was trying to slap and make them understand that they do not have to behave that way.
He wanted to slap some common sense to them.
That is why we were given a lecture on what is an infection prior to the movie.
These movies are planned for decades before production.
Respect.
@Luke Deveraux I can't tell if your being serious or not
Lol had me rolling
@@LukeDeveraux Never thought the Universal soldier would be chill with Seagal lol.
@@LukeDeveraux Are you for real or just being sarcastic (I honestly can’t tell)?
I don't know what's worse: watching 90's ponytail Segal run like a girl, or today's Segal, who has morphed into Jabba the Hut, attempt to waddle breathlessly down the hall.
Walking fatly around corners
Ole fatlock
@@fredriksvard2603 lmao
@@denny414 nicked that one from stavros halkias
I like to imagine Steven Seagal made this channel to trick us into watching his movies 😂
crap it worked, I'm watching executive decision with my kids
Would unfortunately require him to have both a sense of humour as well as self-awareness. Otherwise it could work... 😋
That would be plausible if his ego didn't cause him to have loud tantrums whenever he's faced with criticism.
If your watching Seagal's movies after watching this channel then your hopeless
"Space Ice is Seagal and Seagal is Space Ice!" -Ace Ventura
To survive the Zombie Apocalypse you don't have to be faster then them, just faster than Steven Seagal, which is basically a walking pace.
You meant a waddling pace.
Hahaha good one
@@HappyHarryHardon 🤣🤣
Lol 😆🤣😂
@@HappyHarryHardon I’m almost a heavy, but I’m only 40 and not worn out yet. Even if this jackass was thin he’d still be too pathetically old for these roles.
The elevator clearly just needed a human sacrifice to work again.
🤣🤣🤣
😭🤣🤣
🤣
💀💀🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
The omnissiah.
I love how the zombie vampires randomly switch between feral monsters and normal dudes eating people like they'd eat a burrito
"C'mere, lemme tell you a secret" my little human 🌯 lol
Bro... I used to be the biggest Segal fan as a kid, and this shit has me literally crying tears of laughter. Thank you
I always kinda liked Seagal movies, but I dont think much when watching movies because no movie is without sins (nonsense)
But this channel makes me laugh good
I loved his late 80`s early-mid 90`s movies....and then the floodgates of tasty snacks, cookies, and sprayed on hair... opened
@@iluvmylovebirdandmybudgiet7729 I agree. That old stuff was not that bad at their time. But these recent movies.. SMH
I agree!- as kids we laughed with glee when he took down baddies- now that we're older, we laugh at his fast food takeaway movies, to keep stress away.
Same 😂
The fact that the zombie tried to lure the woman with "come closer, i'll tell you a secret", which is something you'd try to lure a 3 year old is so hilarious to me.
Trust me I won't bite you, why would I? Are you just assuming 'cause I'm a zombie? You're racist!
She comes closer and gets bitten
That would've been epic!
Oh that's how you lure them. Reported you to the police
@@onearthonelegion I was just thinking the exact same thing. Crazy!!
@dejuren do we report the 147 people who liked the comment too?
What secret? I‘m into now🤓
I feel like this was originally meant to be a homebrew zombie movie made by college kids just for fun, but then the Director made some calls and came back saying "Guess what guys?! This is going to be a Steven Seagal movie now!!"
And then they screamed at the top of their lungs, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooo!!!"
@@sethlangston181 just like Horrid Henry would say. But I'm pretty sure they would also say"It's not fairrrrrrrrrrr!!!".
They didn't even graduate yet and have already experienced the biggest disappointment of their lifetimes. Press F 😢
You could actually hear the desperation in Seagal's voice when they're walking down the hall and the woman says, "it's just down here."
And he asks, "how far?" I could tell at that very moment he didn't know if he could make it.
😂😂😂
Oh the horror. Hahaha
😂😂😂😂😂
You, Sir, just won the Internet!! 🤣
It's this way
The biggest problem with this movie was the complete absence of a strip club scene
I really don't understand why they didn't include one, adding a strip club scene would make the movie so much better.. I think lol
And no underage bewbs to squeeze with his sensei sausage fingers?!
They did hire the strippers !🤷♀
@@Westtxcowboy100But he didn’t make sweet love to them. They seemed old for him too. What like 22? 😂
Zombie strippers scene
"We're not here to decide who's right or wrong. We're here to decide who lives and dies."
That would be a cool line if it were spoken by _literally_ anyone other than Seagal.
Think if Arnold Schwarzenegger said this?
@@mattway18 Hell yeah! He could pull it off.
@@oddcrafter1270 yeah, I’m thinking of PRIME Arnold saying it.
I think a couple of people could've pulled that quote off and not have it be corny as fuck: Karl Urban and Lance Henriksen spring to mind. Michael Biehn and Keanu Reeves could pull that quote off, too.
@@KoeingseggCCM oooohhhh good choices. They could pull it off.
I didn't know a zombie can die from being kicked in the balls. Hell, it's a Steven Segal movie😂
Yea that was just hilarious 😂 never have i ever seen someone kick a zombie in the balls and if i did it never works but for seagal it does? Lol
You need to destroy their brain so yeah that could happen
he was kicked in the face, that's what killed him. but It's still stupid. Also, when she kicked him in the balls it was actually the leg. what a fail.
@@samuelhollman7426 Steven Segal Production for ya🤣
Tbh it's worse than death 😂
Steven is a comical genius that sadly won’t be understood for several generations.
He won't be understood by himself in a first place 😂
I was telling the same thing to a friend the other day. Steven Seagal is a master of surreal cinema. He will be remembered as a great surreal moviemaker one day.
@@lucacrespi88 I find his movies absolutely hysterical and he even does the same running jokes how he always ends up at a strip club and ends up having to protect some 21 year old girl who falls head over heels for his old manly kungfu charms and cringe voice
@@jamesnelson8469 don't forget the trademark shooting without looking.
And he's actually trying to be serious
You can choke a zombie but yet they can also survive underwater 😂😂
Dude, this is seriously funny script writing. Not pompous. Not self indulgent. Just funny. Props.
Thanks bro
It's fucking great man
I laughed so hard when he put the mario music on seagal 🤣
It's amazing what Seagal can do with a $460 budget.
i was so curious that i went imdb to check .....this piece of shit has 6.000.000$(estimated) budget 🤣
@@make817 and The Raid was made with 1,100,000$, makes this film look even worse
Jfc I gotta know who's bankrolling these dung piles
These are money laundering/ tax evasion schemes. They generate zero profit yet they keep making them one after another.
I'd love to see what he can come up when the films budget is $4.60
"Even if i beleive the zombies took up welding, where would they get the torches" Van Dam would know what to do 😂😂
Steven Seagal is the exact opposite of Nicolas Cage
I love your videos mate!!!
The make-up of the zombies is brilliant. Eat your heart out, Tom Savini.
Are you trying to tell me there is a good Steven Seagal movie?
I’m withholding judgement here…Seagal might bang a waitress while fully clothed, then martial arts some dudes to death, and never stop banging the waitress.
@@seanm2511 Under Siege is pretty good, despite Seagals presence. Tommy Lee Jones helps a lot.
You've got to hand it to Seagal. He makes the worst movie ever, then makes another one even worse time and time again. A talent in of itself!
Steven seagal is the best out there, in every worst aspect.
- Steven seagal.
That money won't launder itself.
@@xxlCortezTruly an egregiously underrated comment !
"im going to turn the brightness up, fck u segal". 😂😂😂 man its midnight and i cant stop laughing 🤣🤣
The amount of trauma Space Ice has suffered having to actually watch all these piles of Seagal crap to give these amazing videos is unimaginable... Thank you Space Ice for the sacrifice you've made!
I think it kinda makes him kinda cranky 😂
He was beginning to lose his mind on the water in the elevator shaft scene 😂😂
That's why his voice turned like that
Just when you think Seagal movies can't get any worse... a new low is hit.
and this is not the final form. 🤣
Basically all Seagal movies are downhill.
This isn't even the worst one shockingly enough
The elevator scene actually cracked me up. They just undid the death of the volunteering guy in less than 5 seconds for absolutely no reason. "Oh I guess he's dead now, that tangent doesn't go anywhere let's just make the elevator work again". A+ writing
The actress who gets snatched out the elevator door by the zombie @14:37 shows the most genuine look of surprise as he pulls her back. Seagal ran out of money ("ate through his budget") towards the end of filming and pitched a "surprise death" to the remaining cast members (as a cost cutting measure). 🤣 Her reaction was the only genuine display of "acting" in this mess and you can only see it for a moment, but awesome.
Basically, "OH shit! You didn't tell me this would be my last scene! My character totally had 20 more pages of standing around and doing nothing in the script!"
She was pissed that she was not getting anymore days of pay.
Segal probably paid a grip to make-up like a zombie hide just out of frame, then grab her at a pre-arranged signal.
@@joelellis7035 She was doubly shocked because she's a hottie AND had already been "Seagal'd"...she figured she was safe from any surprise "Red Shirt" moment. D'oh! Which teaches us all a valuable "Now You Know" lesson: Don't get "Seagal'd" until the movie wraps! 🤣
Wait.. they had a budget???
@@mr2ti41 yup this movie has budget 7 Million lol
Pure gold! 👌🏾
The lady choking out the zombie is prime time entertainment.
Cutting off the oxygen supply of the undead by strangulation makes perfect sense 👌
@@RootofYishay
Kicking them in cogliones is pretty effective, too. 👍
The zombie died due to confusion.
😂😂😂😂
It's funny when one of seagal's acquaintances was taken by a zombie and they're like "No. It's too late there's no way she could beat that one zombie." while you have that scene where a random civilian lady just beat the hell out of a zombie bare handed by choking it and hitting it in the nuts.
"Turns out the joke's on you. Seagal's already got your money, so shut the f*** up and stop asking questions!" Hehe! Burst out laughing there.
Lmao 🤣 same here... It's just the way he says it 😂😂😂
16:27 Segal only had enough budget to put zombie makeup on the guy’s face and not neck. Truly a master at his craft.
And his hands. But that’s probably just makeup residue from when the actor applied the makeup himself
In the Seagull Deluxe Grand Pack Version, they completely scrapped the makeup and gave him a zombie mask
7 million goes by fast.
Body double zombie.
Dude,
He was given some of Seagal's serum.
So that guy was getting cured.
The parts of skin you are seeing are the parts which got cured.
I love you, man. I hope you will get big with this channel, i.e., won't give up. You make me laugh and the world needs it, y'know.
This is true. At some point, these presentations are going to get recognized and the level of popularity will explode. What's really needed, however, is to set up a Patreon account with some decent (albeit, non-expensive) perks in order to market these solid offerings. That's where some of the energy should be placed. 😀
Yeah,he is a master at this(Not talkig about Seagull) 🤣
@@henrybrennan he’s already getting big I found him few days ago at 30k he’s close now to 40k
I love how he says "Then the movie finally gives us what we all want" and UA-cam ads start playing 😂
A break from Seagal. Respite is what we truly need.
Lmao 🤣🤣🤣
This is by far the best zombie themed film ever. The combination of Seagal and zombies will be a timeless treasure to be cherished by fans for an eternity. Seagal slapping the hell out of zombies with a sword and kicking them in the balls.
i dig the sarcasm
Always wondered how an action star would do in a horror movie.
I'm still wondering
It's a Comedy movie hardstyle!
Arnie did a zombie film. But it was a drama oddly enough.
Brad Pitt probably only one.
Arnold Schwarzenegger did End of Days, Predator, and Terminator. Bruce Willis was in Planet Terror. Vin Diesel did Pitch Black. Chuck Norris did Silent Rage. Kurt Russell was in Deathproof. Danny Glover was in Saw and Predator 2.
@@ElPayasoMalo Yes and Wyat Russel and Gabriel Byrne are also in The Keep (1983) and Overlord (2018)
"WHO WELDED EVERYTHING SHUT" had me dying 😂
Really funny review. I used to love zombie movies. I'd even go see the George Romero films in the theater (by myself), when they came out. It took Steven Seagal and his master film-making to help me get over that.
I also made sure to promote this channel/videos on my Facebook :)
Thanks, I really appreciate that!
Against The Dark 2: The Againstening
@nexus169 Also - "One Cut of the Dead".
@@henrybrennan 😂😂😂😂😂
"Against the Dark is the Movie nobody asked for and definitely didn't want" lol 🤣🤣🤣 so well written line
Lol, the very first line "Have you ever wanted to see Steven Segual vs zombie vampires? Of course not, nobody has!" in this movie review had me laughing my butt off.
"Hes still seagal tho, and he forgot what movie this was and kicks them in the nuts"
Died laughing
They're vampzombies, their weakness is their throat and nuts!
Makes sense since seagals acting has always been on par with zombies
Fun fact: Seagal is actually afraid of zombies, so they had to shoot in the dark so you don’t see the constant terror on his face. 🙂
That's because when he kills people with how crappy his movies are, he expects them to _stay_ dead. 😂
So Seagal can express emotions? I never knew that.
@@joshuastandlee3455 not to the camera, he never shows it to the camera. Or the audience would sense his weakness thus making his cuck-fears increase. So it’s a good thing we don’t see it, or he would feel compelled to bring more unaware women to the set…. to “protect” of course. 😏
Let's be real here, if they managed to take down Seagal this would be the first zombie movie where the zombies actually had leftovers.
Lol! 😅😅😅😅😅
Oh man WTF is going on !! LOL
"...that the zombies are quoting Dante"
There is always one line in all your reviews that make me laugh out more than the rest 😅
Look, if I was a zombie afraid of sunlight I would probably start reading books too. What else do they have to do during the day?
/\ You've got a point, Polish guy.
They also got the quote wrong (its written as "abandon hope all ye who enter here", its "abandon all hope ye who enter here") but I'd wager that was Seagal not being able to read.
@@RememberTheDead To be fair, i would imagine 95% of people get that quote wrong. Ive been guilty of that in the past.
@@RememberTheDead damn beat me to it
This UA-cam channel is a hidden gem. I have no idea why this guy doesn't have a million sub yet.
Guy at my gym loves Steven Seagal, never stops talking about him and his movies. And yes, he has dropped weights on his head.
Before or after becoming a Seagal fan?
Please tell me this is true and isn’t just a funny thing to say. I recall when Seagal first came around, we all bought the line that he was a legit hard-ass and just decided to get into movies, so, like Chuck Norris, his wooden acting was acceptable. He was breaking bones and marrying Kelly LeBrock and overly self-serious, but fine.
But good grief - how could someone idolize Seagal after his fakey Aikido demonstrations, all these terrible films, all his made-up shadowy pasts and ethnicities, and him acting like he’s this huge patriot who just can’t say what-all he did as a (CIA operative, Green Beret, SEaL) while palling around with Putin and other adversaries of the West? I admire the chutzpah, but let’s just say his bona fides weren’t what we all thought.
Oh, and for a reincarnated Buddhist rimpoche, he’s had some pretty terrible accusations made about him by more than a few women.
I just recently discovered this channel, and I’ve gotta say the way you commentate on your videos is pretty funny. “She gets out of it by choking the zombie back. And then just beating his ass” was my favorite part 😄
I had to pause the video when he said that I was laughing so hard.
while serving as stunt coordinator for Out for Justice, LeBell allegedly got into an on-set altercation with Seagal over his mistreatment of some of the film's stunt performers. After the actor claimed that, due to his aikido training, he was "immune" to being choked unconscious, LeBell offered Seagal the opportunity to prove it. LeBell is said to have placed his arms around Seagal's neck, and once Seagal said "go", proceeded to choke him unconscious, with Seagal losing control of his bowels
I hope that is a real story
@@plasentaman6061
Unfortunately not but the real story goes is that Seagal hit Gene as hard as he could in the balls that it made Gene jump in the air. However, Gene still had his arms around Seagull and slammed him to the ground.
Just challenge him to a sprint and record it.
God, I wish that were true!
@@plasentaman6061it's a true story
I don’t even want to watch any more movies, I just want this man to narrate all movies…
*Wow, why did that zombie talk like Jigsaw?*
"dO yOu wAnt tO pLaY a gAmE, I mEaN bE iN a sEagAl mOvIe?"
"No, absolutely not."
"yOu hAvE pAsSeD tHe tEsT."
Why did they change the set up so much? It makes sense that people go to a hospital to find medicine. They could've had one group stay by the window, with a plan for others go to find medicine for the little girl. As the members of the group disappear and get killed, other members go to look for them. Or the window could've been crowded by zombies, causing them to leave the window and travel deeper into the hospital. Also, the doctor guy should've been the main villain. He could have secret passages through the hospital, and captures the group to feed to his daughter. He could also have zombie cronies, because he feeds them live victims. It was like they had a bunch of set ups, but just wanted to get the script and movie done asap.
That's too much thinking for the writers of this movie.
I remember this movie. This movie cemented my opinion that Seagal's career in mainstream was over. Before this, I saw "Glimmer Man" and I was confused as to wether or not Seagal was still a good action star, but this movie made it clear.
Steven obviously used the films budget for his trailer full of local 'masseuses' .
“No thought went into any of this.” That describes every damn movie Chubby Sifu has been in since Under Siege.
The narration of these videos are so damn hilarious! I can picture hearing this as a preview before I watch an actual good movie.
3:02 I love the way Seagal has the sword casually held behind him with the blade swinging inches from their faces 😂
Also, he's the only fella in a zombie movie to ever kick a zombie in the nuts😂😂😂 some next level sh*t
Being around a Zombie is still safer than being around Steven Seagal.
I love it when a movie pisses you off! 😂😂😂
🤣🤣🤣
This movie is like the used toilet paper from the set of Blade. Metaphorically speaking
"So even though this is a Steven Seagal movie... he can't be bothered to be in most of it..." I'm dying.
Even Seagal recognized how bad the movie was going to be 😂
I've seen a handfull of channels reviewing Stegal/bad films and I have to say, I don't think it ever gets old. I thought I was only gonna watch half a video and move on, but I laughed thoughout the whole thing so now I'm an avid fan. What has my life become?
The very same here. So many of those channels exist but I recently found this channel & really like this guy. Much funnier than the other Seagal channels.
You are a man of culture Sir!
I'll tell you what it's become, half of what it should be. Because you aren't watching his AWESOME Van Damme movie recaps as well! :p
Welcome, my friend.
@@cocksure8430 No shame in hiding it now. Yes, my life has become better now.
"Seagal has a shotgun you goddamn idiot!" *shotgun blast*
Gets me every dang time xD
10:21 - "Please understand that in Seagal movies no matter how bad you think it is, it can always get worse". He definitely proved that to us with Attrition, didn't he? I couldn't possibly believe he could make something worse than Kill Switch, I mean that was such an atrocity I could not conceive that something worse than that could be made. However, Seagal rose up to the plate and came through... L:OL. This is why today I don't dare to say that he can't possibly make anything worse than Attrition LOL.
Thoughts and Prayers to the tripping dead guy and the zombie with a secret. I'm happy one had fun and the other didn't ruin a friendship by spreading a secret. Great movie.
You have now achieved the title of "KING of movie reviewers". Everything you say is pure gold. There is no one who would dare to oppose to your opinions about movies.
These videos are proof that comedy is more than timing. Not only do we have the spoofy movie voice, but the vocal frustration with how stupid the premise is is genuinely funny. The way you described pulling out a blanket and going to sleep in a zombie hallway is gold. I've cried laughing watching these.
You're the best thing to happen to Stephen Seagal, meaning you're the only good thing to happen to Stephen sagaul.
I love how you can actually see they only painted the water zombie's hands and face and how it' isn't even addressed because that's the kinda of quality we have come to expect from Seagal movies.
He looks like a mime 🤣
Normally a voice like this would be grating but the commentary is done in such a way that it's actually funny.
At first I didn’t like it but it grew on me like Rich “The” Evens laugh.
You know a man is dedicated when he's able to sit through these movies and edit them into a UA-cam video
Props man
You know he tried to put him marrying the little girl in the script.
🤣🤣
Wouldnt surprise me, given what he's been accused of.
Damn this money laundering scheme known as Seagal’s movies!
i could not stop laughing at 10:40 😂 just discovered this channel and the content is immaculate
I want to thank Steven Seagal for creating comedy material to amuse us.
His movies are generally torture to sit through, with some funny bits sprinkled here and there. Space Ice's recap/roast videos are what make them funny.
Right when you said “finally Segal gives us what we all want” a Burger King ad popped up and I lost it 😂😂
I really feel for you having to watch this utter drivel, make a script and put it all together. But it's also glorious. Thank you for your sacrifice.
13:34 Tbh that was pretty creepy, this actor carried the whole movie. "Come closer! I'll tell you a secret ... come closer"
You'll float too!
"Donald Trump and Joe Biden are reptilians"
This is such an epic film, I’m shocked it didn’t get nominated for an Oscar or even an honorable mention
man i hope we get a sequel to this some day
Bill, if only. Alas life is too cruel to allow us to sample such art. 😀😂😂😂😂
I would pay big money for this sequel, an epic gem that’s under appreciated by art and film 👏👏🙌🙌
With Tommy Wiseau and Neil Breen added to it.
Directed by Neil breen
Everyone who comments should get together and make a sequel but I get to be the director, star, writer, hero, best ponytail haver, and anyone who questions me will be sent to re education but no we're in it together lol
It doesn’t even say „abandon all hope..“ it says „abandon hope all“ 😂
At the 11:52/53 mark, look at the thickness of Segal's sword! 🤣🤣🤣
😂
Parental advisory: we should not use our brain while watching Steven Seagal's movie.
The best thing Steven Seagal ever gave us is Space Ice.
If there's one word to sum up Steven Seagal movies, it's the completely deflated, disappointed, hopeless, and sad way Space Ice just says:
"...... anyways"😄
I watch these reviews 2, 3, sometimes 4 times or more.
I should be allowed to give them 2, 3, or 4 'likes'.
Keep up the great work.
Great review of a terrible Movie 😂👍🏽
Your father, Movie Phone Guy, must be so proud! I belly laugh out loud several times during all your videos. Thank you and may the Movie Gods Bless you for all your work Sh¡t Talking Narration Man!
I remember buying this when it came out cause Seagal vs zombies sounded like dumb fun. I think I made it halfway through before turning it off and putting it back on the shelf where it's remained for fifteen years.
I just found your channel, and I’m so pleased that I did! I have a deep and irrational hatred of Steven Seagal, so watching videos that rips his movies to shreds is my absolute guilty pleasure. 😂😂😂 Thank you for your content, I’m off to binge your library now.
I think hating Seagal is pretty rational.
These videos are fricken gold, you deserve 1,000,000 times more views.
Its remarkable how Seagal with literally zero talent in acting, story writing and direction doesn't let it stop him from doing acting, story writing and direction.
I've yet to see him act!
😂😂😂😂😂 quit exaggerating. His early movies were good and he was a decent actor on those.
He was determined to make it in Hollywood no matter what. Even if it meant getting involved with money laundering for the mafia, he didn't give a sh*t
The fact that Steven Seagull shoots out movies on par with a UA-camr making content is hilarious.
No way ! They actually put the joke from the end of Myth: the Fallen lords, "At the Stair of Grief our swords got so dull we had to fight with our bare hands ! And you know how hard it is to strangle the undead." into the movie ! Brilliant !
14:05 Not gonna lie, that "grenade in a bottle" kill was pretty awesome. Probably the only good thing about this movie 😂
Yeah I thought so too! Haven't seen anything like that before, but I'm still sure he stole it from somewhere
It’s hilarious that the writers thought that your eyes could open even further while you are tripping…
Its hilarious that you think this movie has writers
@@SutekhDaSteemroller hahaha truer words never spoken :)
To be fair, with all the doors being welded, you can easily imagine a scenario where people were trying to hold out against the zombies, welding the doors shut, but eventually failed, and most of the zombies that are in there were once the same people that welded the doors shut.
While a hospital would indeed be full of valuable items in a zombie apocalypse, even if the actual zombie disease can't be cured, I've never visited a hospital that I'd like to use as a fortress. The architecture and layouts haven't seemed overly defensible, which is understandable considering the purpose they have been built for. They have large windows, even indoor windows between corridors and rooms, a whole lot of doors, and some of those doors obviously are very large. The movie said all corridors lead to the same place, which, while silly, does have some metaphorical truth in it because due to importance of logistics, hospitals have a pretty clear network of corridors taking you everywhere, including taking you to the zombies and the zombies to you.
So, it would be challenging to keep the zombies out and once in, it would be futile to try to keep them from spreading. Not to mention, a hospital might be full of zombies from the beginning, since the first wave of infected people would be taken to hospitals, before anyone knew it was an incurable zombie disease.
Door wield but open window? Nah lol
It is 50 minutes into the movie... And we just now learned Segal's characters name.
"My name is Towel."
Only Steven Seagal's movies will need to introduce a definition for the word infect, even after what happened around the world since 2019.
This channel is pure comedic genius! I'm pretty sure even Seagal would be laughing out loud at these reviews.🤣🤣
I honestly don't think he would
Steven Seagal would try to find out where Space Ice lives 😂😂😂
Frankly, there just aren't enough Steven Segal movies for Space Ice to make parodies of. Finite supply. That's my only regret 😅