When they made Urban Justice, the director agreed he'd do it only if Seagal stayed on set until he was told to leave. This caused a lot of friction on set and even shut down production one day as they waited. Oddly, it's one of his highest rated DTV where he showed up for most of his scenes. Other movies, he refuses to show up on set so they use a stunt double to do simple things like him walking around and reserved the scenes where he's doing things since it's so hard to keep him on set. So it may be a combination of being lazy or just not showing up for work and they're having to improvise.
Here's my theory: Steven Seagal isn't just an actor; he's a mastermind of the 'Cinematic Money Laundering Universe.' Those bargain bin movies? They're not just low-budget, they're negative-budget! It's like they paid people to watch them. There is no way that these movies are profitable. Who's out there willingly buying or streaming Seagal movies? Who would willingly subject themselves to that much Seagal in one sitting? Maybe it's all just a cover-up for the real action happening behind the scenes! I think It's all part of his grand scheme to keep the cash flowing while we're all distracted by his questionable acting skills!
I'm convinced Adam Sandler movies are similar. He can still putt butts in seats and turn a profit, so whenever his ex-SNL buddies who never made it or had lackluster careers need money, he makes another crappy movie and includes them in the cast. The movie gets made, Sandler stays "relevant," thus setting up his next movie, and his buddies get a payday. If that's true, he's a good dude.
When I say the title of this video, I seriously thought it was a Space Ice video and expected to hear "Sniper, is the Steven Seagal mega block buster hit, where he showed the world that he couldn't be bothered to act in the movie he starred in!" or something to that effect. But this was just as good! Almost fifteen minutes of Mark just Dogging on Seagal!
My fav moment in the entire film was when he was on the roof top, shooting down, and then he slowly starts to walk away because the enemy returns fire, but he casually squeezes out a couple more rounds without even looking in the direction he's shooting.
Swapping shoulders with a rifle is an actual cqb tactic when rounding corners. Without giving seagal credit someone obviously making the film had some ideas. It has nothing to do with lack of flexibility.
A director from one of these direct to dvd films said he always wears some sort of sunglasses because it makes it harder to see he is just reading his lines from off camera
When I was going through and grabbing the posters from a bunch of his movies I coulnd't believe how bad the photoshop was on a bunch of them lol check out the ones for "Attack Force" or "Against the Dark"
@FanboyFlicks It's scary for me to realize that I own those movies, have watched them at least once, and have no memory of doing so. Call it the Seagal Memory Hole.
The whole thing looks like they suddenly, in the middle of editing said "Do you know what? -Steven Seagal should be in this movie." because none of his scenes is done with the other actors present and his character has almost no interaction with the other characters.
It's kind of like those old Ninja movies made by Godfrey Ho featuring Richard Harrison, where the Godfrey shot a couple scenes with Richard dressed up as a Ninja doing awkward things and then spliced those shots into half a dozen asian b-movies.
A couple directors from previous films said that what happens is that the producers tell them to put Seagal in the movie or else they won't finance it (maybe Seagal has some serious blackmail threat shit going on with these producers is just 1 theory as to why he's in so many of these) So they contact Seagal. He demands his paycut. They reluctantly agree on the pay, then days before shooting starts Seagal tells the directors to make major changes to the script to where most of Seagals parts in the movie are left out (IOW, a director said Seagal told him just 3 days before shooting that he only wants to be in 6 scenes instead of the agreed upon 25 or so & that he won't be showing up until after all the shooting is done & he'll shoot his reduced 6 scenes all by himself to be edited into the movie & of course Seagal won't tolerate any reduced pay for reducing his role by 75-80%. He's still to be paid in full & up front. lol) The directors of course object to this dick move by Seagal but then Seagal threatens them to accept his demands or he's not doing the movie & if he's not in the movie than the producers won't finance it. LMAO) He's done this time & time again. This particular film has Seagal using & abusing this particular director on an entirely whole other level of dick move douchbaggery.
To make it even better, it looks like he's wearing the same gear in every single one of his military movies. This opens up a theory that this is his own cinematic universe where he's some kind of Solid Snake/Sam Fisher type supersoldier that can randomly appear on any battlefield at any time and lazily secure you victory with his mere presence.
@@Not_Always he asked her out on her 16 birthday and when she told him she was to young to date him he said he has had girlfriends younger than her,creep!
@Not_Always on the set of Under Siege 2, Ms. Heigel's mom had to be onset whenever she was. Then there's the time he asked costar Jenny McCarthy if she wanted to rehearse the sex scene. Even without there BEING a sex scene in the movie, she was disgusted and quit. Sadly, one of the smartest things she's ever done.
I guess if somehow all that is real it would indeed be pretty terrifying that some large, lethargic obese man is able to defy the law of common sense and physics and patty cake people to death.
I actually heard that on set he couldn’t even holster his own firearm and the crew had to help. He brought in his own set of gear apparently but I think it’s because he’s so large that he was worried he wouldn’t fit and didn’t want to appear like that.
Lol, I don't know if it's just me but your commentary was absolutely hilarious this whole video. This is my I'm a member. No other channel does it like you do.
I have made two observations with this film. 1 - The majority of the budget must have been spent on the huge amount of KFC that Steven ate on set. 2 - It's amazing that his character wasn't the first to be shot given the fact that he makes the largest and easiest target compared to the other soldiers.
I've heard rumors of a certain "movie star" that has an uncle with ties to a particular criminal organization. Making crappy movies could potentially be used to launder money. Only way this makes sense.
I love how the dvd covers are just Seagal’s chopped head on a not morbidly obese body. I imagine most of the other actors in this didn’t even know it was a Seagal movie.
Hilarious how hard they worked to make it look like his equipment and body armor actually fits and isn't comically undersized compared to his incredible bulk.
He doesn't walk so much as he just waddles through the scenes but there is indeed a stunt double for longer walking scenes or where he has to go up or down stairs. Watch him really move when he's at an All-You-Can-Eat buffet! Sometime the crew has to tempt him back on set with a cheeseburger.
You think he’s doing nothing, but he’s actually in a zen meditative state, displaying inner peace while war rages around him. This subtle performance really shows his range and talent.
"The covenant" has the actor that plays the winter soldier, the deep, and the guy who played gambit. 2000's frat boy meets "the craft" It's so bad, it's amazing
I found your channel when I was on a pedal bike trip in 2018. I think another youtuber I was watching recommended you but my point is I think you are great dude and the fact that you haven't reached 500k subscribers is a crime to humanity. Just know someone like me from a small town in colorado watches you with religious consistency. Keep it up my man. It is heartwarming knowing you are obviously doing this because you love it and you love movies.. I'm here for it my man.. Hobgoblins or "BEWARE, children at play" next? The ladder is hilariously gnarly. You watch it, I will start marketing for you asap
The sad thing is, that if he prepped for a role and "got off the couch" so he could actually move in a convincing way(do some decent action scenes). He could have gone the way of Sylvester Stallone and done some decent movies. Instead he shows up tired, bloated, and unable to walk down a set of stairs without lumbering. What a waste.
I remember seeing a dude from the army do a top 5 of the worst uniform inaccuracies in film, and number one is "literally everything ever worn by Steven Segal"
The thing is, most of the films with Seagal (and Bruce Willis in his later years) could have been okay movies if the budget hadn't been spent on them. A lot of the actors do seem to try and often there is a plot screaming to get out.
I remember asking chatGPT to create a story starring Breen, Seagal and Wiseau. The story involves the trio fighting against aliens invading earth, Seagal uses his fighting skills, Breen uses his mind powers and hacking skills, and Wiseau uses his charm and charisma to distract the security guards of the big alien spaceship.
Thank you Mark for making each week more enjoyable. Your hard work is something I will never take for granted! I wish I had more money to give, but alas, I am unable to at this time. Whenever possible, I will show my support😁
It's honestly the last thing I do before shooting a skit because it gets everywhere. As soon as I'm done filming I'm dying to wash it off because it feels so gross lol
"who is buying these bargain bin movies?" Divorced dads and very low income households... I've seen "absolution" so many times i can almost remember the plot
I'm glad you opened with the question I had on my mind... at what point can you consider Seagal a selling point? It's the bargain DVD bin, so I get it. But at the same time, how can anyone want to give this dude money to do nothing? Your skits are 100x more entertaining than this train wreck of a movie 🤣laugh out loud funny as always!
It seems more like the movie was filmed with someone else as the sniper and then he quit half way through filming so they hired steven segal to just sit in a chair and occasionally react to something
I've seen this one. I think he's on screen for less than 5 minutes in total. Mostly sits comfortably in a chair and talks to other characters, but obviously whenever he's on screen it's established that he's the biggest badass around. I've also watched his vampire movie. Same deal. He's on screen for about 5-10 minutes, the rest of the movie is just the poor underpaid C list actors trying to make the most of what they can from an absolute sh*t script. I don't think we'll ever see another Seagal movie where he actually does stuff and plays the lead role. He's realized that he can still make money even if he doesn't get out of his chair, and he's sticking with that strategy until he croaks.
Great review. Though you neglected to point out how ridiculous it looked the way he was holding his rifle propped on his shoulder at 8:41. The recoil alone would send that thing flying off his shoulders the moment he fired his first round, lmao.
What really bothers me about the movie is how Steven seagal holds the rifle at times like the stock of the rifle is over his shoulder so if he where to pull the trigger the recoil would not be held. And of course many other things.
1:40 It is obvious that it is not Jean-Claude Van Damme. He would never play in Seagal's movie, because he had beef with Seagal. Also Seagal would never hire Van Damme to his movie, because he simply dislikes him (he rejected role in The Expendables because of him).
Of course, it's obvious to those who knows the backstory, but it can be misleading to the casual viewer. It's as if they wanted to fool people into thinking it was Jean Claude by deliberately just putting the last names of both actors.
What’s interesting/funny about this movie is that, from what I understand, it was actually meant to capitalize on the success of the then-recently-released American Sniper movie. I’m guessing the reason Steven Seagal’s billed in it yet does virtually nothing is that it was literally the only way they could’ve drawn ANYONE’S attention to what would’ve otherwise been just another bog-standard mockbuster that people would spot at Redbox and then promptly forget about.
fanboy flicks is the mega-blockbuster hit channel that loves steven seagull. is making videos on seagull difficult? actually, no, it's super easy, barely an inconvenience. do we want more? please and thank you.
I was a Green Beret (18A, 18D), and I was Sniper qualified… if you want to see what Green Berets think of this movie, go watch the Beers and Breakdowns on FNG channel. Seagal clearly saw American Sniper and said I can do that.( even give him a Mk18 and .338 Bolt gun). The rifle he’s using is designed for 1000m-2000m… but he’s in a California town and everything seems to be
Whoever in the future does a movie portraying Steven Seagall in a strange biopic, they're going to win an Oscar for playing such a talentless figure. 😂
I've seen coverage on this film before from GBorBB, but definitely not this much detail! Seagal's requirements to "perform" are unreal, and honestly, I have to wonder how much longer he'll be around. The report of him vomiting and passing out is terrifying, that’s a great way to aspirate food and choke. I knew a family who lost a daughter when she threw up in her sleep one night, and they found her the next morning... Really sad.
You put more effort reviewing this film then Steven Seagal acting in it
Mind you, that bar is so low, the devil is tending it.
If Steven Seagal won an award for laziest performance, he'd make his stunt double collect it.
Nice burn 😂
@@nobbynobbs8182 Thanks!
Funny cause it's true.
Love it
@@heather6668 Thanks!
Using a stunt double to walk up/down stairs-is quite possibly, one of the most Steven Seagal things to have ever Steven Seagalled .😂🤦♀️
He also has a body double on the poster.
When they made Urban Justice, the director agreed he'd do it only if Seagal stayed on set until he was told to leave. This caused a lot of friction on set and even shut down production one day as they waited. Oddly, it's one of his highest rated DTV where he showed up for most of his scenes. Other movies, he refuses to show up on set so they use a stunt double to do simple things like him walking around and reserved the scenes where he's doing things since it's so hard to keep him on set. So it may be a combination of being lazy or just not showing up for work and they're having to improvise.
Stairs are hard!
best comment I've seen so far
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Injured soldier: Can’t move my legs
Seagal: you lucky bastard
"Here I am, using my legs like a sucker."
@@TheeGrumpy crouching tiger, sitting dragon 🪑 🐉
@@williamtoad8040 more like sitting Panda
😂😂😂😂 gold
I don't care how many people have covered a movie, I will always watch Mark's review.
listen to Cum Town then
Sniper Special Ops is the Steven Seagull mega blockbuster hit movie where he showed the world.. oh wait wrong channel 😅
Why did I say that in my head with the voice of the channel 💀
Space Ice. Right?
@@entertainmentpowerfuchs5744 yes
😂😂😂
Space Ice has good Taste. Says allways Steven Seagal is the worst and Jean Claude Van Damme is still Awesome.
Upcoming Seagull remakes:
Above the Wasteband - Hard To Walk - Marked For Heart Disease - Out For Jelly Donuts -
Hard Arteries.
Under Belly
The Grundle 2: Rumbling Tummy
And a sequel: Belly of the Beast 2
@@muhammadaliffbinmuhammadla7846 - I tried to come up with a modern Seagull remake for that one & found it impossible. Thank u for nailing it.
Steven Seagal vomits his lunch, collapses, then gets reanimated, like a zombie. Sounds like the premise of his next movie.
And craps his pants as well. Just ask Gene…
Considering his naming traditions, the trilogy could be:
_Low Impact_
_No Impact_
_Negative Impact_
lol
Here's my theory: Steven Seagal isn't just an actor; he's a mastermind of the 'Cinematic Money Laundering Universe.' Those bargain bin movies? They're not just low-budget, they're negative-budget! It's like they paid people to watch them. There is no way that these movies are profitable. Who's out there willingly buying or streaming Seagal movies? Who would willingly subject themselves to that much Seagal in one sitting? Maybe it's all just a cover-up for the real action happening behind the scenes! I think It's all part of his grand scheme to keep the cash flowing while we're all distracted by his questionable acting skills!
It's 100% money laundering.
A lot of them are money laundering, others are for the tax credits.
I'm convinced Adam Sandler movies are similar. He can still putt butts in seats and turn a profit, so whenever his ex-SNL buddies who never made it or had lackluster careers need money, he makes another crappy movie and includes them in the cast. The movie gets made, Sandler stays "relevant," thus setting up his next movie, and his buddies get a payday.
If that's true, he's a good dude.
This is also my theory for his "career" - tax evasion or money laundering or both.
I came here to say the same thing.
L
When I say the title of this video, I seriously thought it was a Space Ice video and expected to hear "Sniper, is the Steven Seagal mega block buster hit, where he showed the world that he couldn't be bothered to act in the movie he starred in!" or something to that effect. But this was just as good! Almost fifteen minutes of Mark just Dogging on Seagal!
Lol I love Space Ice’s Seagal videos! His Breen vids are great too!
One of the best moments is when Seagal pivots slightly and needs to switch shoulders on his rifle to re-aim because he is so inflexible
My fav moment in the entire film was when he was on the roof top, shooting down, and then he slowly starts to walk away because the enemy returns fire, but he casually squeezes out a couple more rounds without even looking in the direction he's shooting.
He's done that stupid shoulder gun switch in a quite a few movies.
@@EarthboundX He's done the keeps shooting while not looking/turning away a few times too.
He makes it look so casual, but it's really just second nature.
Swapping shoulders with a rifle is an actual cqb tactic when rounding corners. Without giving seagal credit someone obviously making the film had some ideas. It has nothing to do with lack of flexibility.
A director from one of these direct to dvd films said he always wears some sort of sunglasses because it makes it harder to see he is just reading his lines from off camera
Oh no. Mark's getting into goatee era Seagal flicks.
And I'm surprised he didn't mention the photoshop job on that poster.
When I was going through and grabbing the posters from a bunch of his movies I coulnd't believe how bad the photoshop was on a bunch of them lol check out the ones for "Attack Force" or "Against the Dark"
@FanboyFlicks It's scary for me to realize that I own those movies, have watched them at least once, and have no memory of doing so. Call it the Seagal Memory Hole.
@@FanboyFlicks You'd thing he'd be pro dark rather than against it. It would be easier to hide his gut in the dark.
@@Dr.Thirteen-bb1ub His movies are so bad they literally cause brain damage...
The whole thing looks like they suddenly, in the middle of editing said "Do you know what? -Steven Seagal should be in this movie." because none of his scenes is done with the other actors present and his character has almost no interaction with the other characters.
It's kind of like those old Ninja movies made by Godfrey Ho featuring Richard Harrison, where the Godfrey shot a couple scenes with Richard dressed up as a Ninja doing awkward things and then spliced those shots into half a dozen asian b-movies.
A couple directors from previous films said that what happens is that the producers tell them to put Seagal in the movie or else they won't finance it (maybe Seagal has some serious blackmail threat shit going on with these producers is just 1 theory as to why he's in so many of these)
So they contact Seagal. He demands his paycut. They reluctantly agree on the pay, then days before shooting starts Seagal tells the directors to make major changes to the script to where most of Seagals parts in the movie are left out (IOW, a director said Seagal told him just 3 days before shooting that he only wants to be in 6 scenes instead of the agreed upon 25 or so & that he won't be showing up until after all the shooting is done & he'll shoot his reduced 6 scenes all by himself to be edited into the movie & of course Seagal won't tolerate any reduced pay for reducing his role by 75-80%. He's still to be paid in full & up front. lol)
The directors of course object to this dick move by Seagal but then Seagal threatens them to accept his demands or he's not doing the movie & if he's not in the movie than the producers won't finance it. LMAO)
He's done this time & time again. This particular film has Seagal using & abusing this particular director on an entirely whole other level of dick move douchbaggery.
Seagal is wearing a cheap AliExpress "tactical" watch with a faked compass an a huge flashlight built in. I had to laugh so hard.
To make it even better, it looks like he's wearing the same gear in every single one of his military movies. This opens up a theory that this is his own cinematic universe where he's some kind of Solid Snake/Sam Fisher type supersoldier that can randomly appear on any battlefield at any time and lazily secure you victory with his mere presence.
@@viscountrainbows2857he's his own universe's Mysterious Stranger.
@@viscountrainbows2857His Name in the Steven seagal cinematic universe is ‘Liquid Shit’
"You don't even wanna use your legs!!!" Bahahahhaa amazing. 😂😂😂😂😂 Mark's humor is just perfect for me.
These moments with Mark blending in the movie just keep getting better and better and more hilarious too 😂
I love how in other Seagal movies, Steven barely moves, chops with his hands a few times and people are terrified of him.
Well underage girls are right to fear him just ask Katherine heigl.
@@ericseitzler81 😬
@@Not_Always he asked her out on her 16 birthday and when she told him she was to young to date him he said he has had girlfriends younger than her,creep!
@Not_Always on the set of Under Siege 2, Ms. Heigel's mom had to be onset whenever she was. Then there's the time he asked costar Jenny McCarthy if she wanted to rehearse the sex scene. Even without there BEING a sex scene in the movie, she was disgusted and quit. Sadly, one of the smartest things she's ever done.
I guess if somehow all that is real it would indeed be pretty terrifying that some large, lethargic obese man is able to defy the law of common sense and physics and patty cake people to death.
The last thing a special ops team would do is let a photographer follow them around taking pictures.
Not if Steven Seagull is on this Team!
You know the bad guys suck when storm troopers watch them shooting and scream, "oh come ON!!" Thanks, mark
The movie where Seagal invented an entirely new martial art, chair-fu.
truly a pioneer in jiu-sitsu
Guys!😂
I actually heard that on set he couldn’t even holster his own firearm and the crew had to help. He brought in his own set of gear apparently but I think it’s because he’s so large that he was worried he wouldn’t fit and didn’t want to appear like that.
Put him on a roller chair:
_he's a demon on wheels!_
It's called chair-kido! 😂
His beer belly protruding under the vest and shirt just kills me. It’s not just a little bit either
I was quite surprised he allowed any side shots of himself. ¾ at most, so we don't quite see what's "hiding" behind his rig.
Lol, I don't know if it's just me but your commentary was absolutely hilarious this whole video. This is my I'm a member. No other channel does it like you do.
I have made two observations with this film. 1 - The majority of the budget must have been spent on the huge amount of KFC that Steven ate on set. 2 - It's amazing that his character wasn't the first to be shot given the fact that he makes the largest and easiest target compared to the other soldiers.
He’s not fat he’s just carrying a lot of equipment….in an attempt to hide his gut.
@@mattscott2664 😂👍
@@mattscott2664 "MORE POUCHES! WE NEED MORE POUCHES!"
"BUT SIR, THAT WILL USE UP OUR ENTIRE BUDGET!"
I'm surprised they managed to get him to put on camo, he usually just wears a black jacket regardless of his "job".
I've heard rumors of a certain "movie star" that has an uncle with ties to a particular criminal organization. Making crappy movies could potentially be used to launder money. Only way this makes sense.
Hey, leave Michael Cera out of this!
Russkies are involved
Watching Seagal lumber about like my 90 year old grandad is hilarious.
I love how the dvd covers are just Seagal’s chopped head on a not morbidly obese body.
I imagine most of the other actors in this didn’t even know it was a Seagal movie.
Seagal didn't just eat all the pies, he ate the guy selling him the pies in the first place.
Hilarious how hard they worked to make it look like his equipment and body armor actually fits and isn't comically undersized compared to his incredible bulk.
Isn't this the movie where he spends the whole movie sitting down😂😂😂 it's horror moving that flabby frame around.
He doesn't walk so much as he just waddles through the scenes but there is indeed a stunt double for longer walking scenes or where he has to go up or down stairs. Watch him really move when he's at an All-You-Can-Eat buffet! Sometime the crew has to tempt him back on set with a cheeseburger.
Helping to earn him the rank of ‘Gravy SEAL’
That's every movie of his nowadays.
@@mikehunt4986 Unfortunately for Seagal, in THIS one he can't smoke cigars, unlike all his other recent films.
@@jhcoverdrive9287 the Graviest Seal of them all
Holy cow, that last bit just before the closing credits had me cracking up. Because I find it disturbingly plausible.
The fact that Seagal was ever a bankable actor is a total enigma to me. And I grew up in the 80s!
it was orientalism: the mystique of his bullshido.
"The ancient art of disappointing your parents." @@princesstamika
One of the greatest martial arts actor of all times, for real. You believing or not
@@izidororaziel4918not even in the top 20
Steven Seagull keeps breaking the glass floor, he keeps getting lower and lower, it’s like reserve inspirational lol
Reverse inspirational😂
You think he’s doing nothing, but he’s actually in a zen meditative state, displaying inner peace while war rages around him. This subtle performance really shows his range and talent.
Yeah, the range of his waist line
"The covenant" has the actor that plays the winter soldier, the deep, and the guy who played gambit. 2000's frat boy meets "the craft"
It's so bad, it's amazing
I found your channel when I was on a pedal bike trip in 2018. I think another youtuber I was watching recommended you but my point is I think you are great dude and the fact that you haven't reached 500k subscribers is a crime to humanity. Just know someone like me from a small town in colorado watches you with religious consistency. Keep it up my man. It is heartwarming knowing you are obviously doing this because you love it and you love movies.. I'm here for it my man.. Hobgoblins or "BEWARE, children at play" next? The ladder is hilariously gnarly. You watch it, I will start marketing for you asap
"He didn't even use the same hat!" Mark, you always get me rollin'.
Another flawless insertion into the scene. I believe some work was done on the audio to replicate the environment too. I little reverby.
its not a stunt double, its an effort double
Its well known Seagal has a 'no stairs' clause in all of his contracts.
The sad thing is, that if he prepped for a role and "got off the couch" so he could actually move in a convincing way(do some decent action scenes). He could have gone the way of Sylvester Stallone and done some decent movies. Instead he shows up tired, bloated, and unable to walk down a set of stairs without lumbering. What a waste.
The cinema snob characterized modern Steven Segal as "you'll have to pay me extra to stand up" Segal
Ok but Steven should totally start a podcast and call it Sittin n shootin with Steven.
now I kind of want some one to make a remake of the rear window with Steven Segal
Dude in a Hezbollha scarf has a hipflask?
Yeah, I was wondering about that also. Hey, it was probably just lemonade...
Noob Mark doesn't know special forces have special hats specifically for stair walking.
now I know why they are called special ops... always wondered :)
Tactical hats I believe.
I remember seeing a dude from the army do a top 5 of the worst uniform inaccuracies in film, and number one is "literally everything ever worn by Steven Segal"
The way he handles his rifle is absolutely hilarious.
The thing is, most of the films with Seagal (and Bruce Willis in his later years) could have been okay movies if the budget hadn't been spent on them. A lot of the actors do seem to try and often there is a plot screaming to get out.
Would love to see Neil Breen and Seagal in a movie together 😂😂😂
I remember asking chatGPT to create a story starring Breen, Seagal and Wiseau. The story involves the trio fighting against aliens invading earth, Seagal uses his fighting skills, Breen uses his mind powers and hacking skills, and Wiseau uses his charm and charisma to distract the security guards of the big alien spaceship.
@@CerpinTaxtthaha sounds like a great plot i would watch that movie for sure 😂😅
@@CerpinTaxtthaha, what a story
7:25 “Next To No Impact” has to be the next movie title!
I've never seen someone handle a gun so unconvincingly. I've handled nerf guns more realistically than that man handled his prop.
Seagull definitely has food in all of those pouches.
They're full of MREs:
McDonald's, Ribs, & Enchiladas
He rat-fucked an entire case of MRE’s, no jalapeño cheese or peanut butter spread left for anyone else.
Thank you Mark for making each week more enjoyable. Your hard work is something I will never take for granted! I wish I had more money to give, but alas, I am unable to at this time. Whenever possible, I will show my support😁
Another successful baby oil Mark skit in the books 🎉
It's honestly the last thing I do before shooting a skit because it gets everywhere. As soon as I'm done filming I'm dying to wash it off because it feels so gross lol
@@FanboyFlicks the closest known feeling to being a hot dog on that rotating warmer! 🤣 I appreciate your sacrifice to the lube gods 🙏🏻
..."The terror of being stuck with Steven Seagal for the rest of the movie sets in". 😂
“Sittin’ and Shootin’ with Steven Seagull”
Steven: Write that down! Write that down!
The explosions at the end are the only thing that has a really high budget behind it because it's stock footage lifted from "Iron Man".
ALWAYS wonder what's happening when Seagal stands up...
A very, very wet chair seat becomes visible. That's what happens.
Satan starts to get cold
I always wonder it he's going to be able to stand up.
I think me playing soldier with my nerf blasters looks more professional than Seagal with his decades of acting experience
I have been waiting for AGES to see you do this one!!!
"who is buying these bargain bin movies?"
Divorced dads and very low income households... I've seen "absolution" so many times i can almost remember the plot
I'm glad you opened with the question I had on my mind... at what point can you consider Seagal a selling point? It's the bargain DVD bin, so I get it. But at the same time, how can anyone want to give this dude money to do nothing?
Your skits are 100x more entertaining than this train wreck of a movie 🤣laugh out loud funny as always!
It always disappoints me how after 40+ years acting Steven still can’t figure out how to properly hold and shoulder a gun.
It seems more like the movie was filmed with someone else as the sniper and then he quit half way through filming so they hired steven segal to just sit in a chair and occasionally react to something
Hey Mark thanks for the great content. Your channel is so fun, I recommend it to everyone when in discussion of All-time favorite UA-cam channels.
I've seen this one. I think he's on screen for less than 5 minutes in total. Mostly sits comfortably in a chair and talks to other characters, but obviously whenever he's on screen it's established that he's the biggest badass around.
I've also watched his vampire movie. Same deal. He's on screen for about 5-10 minutes, the rest of the movie is just the poor underpaid C list actors trying to make the most of what they can from an absolute sh*t script.
I don't think we'll ever see another Seagal movie where he actually does stuff and plays the lead role. He's realized that he can still make money even if he doesn't get out of his chair, and he's sticking with that strategy until he croaks.
This movie didn't take the cake, Seagal ate that shit
...I was wondering who Mark set up for this (likely true) joke 👋 lol
the photoshop of the posters kills me hahahaha
Great review. Though you neglected to point out how ridiculous it looked the way he was holding his rifle propped on his shoulder at 8:41. The recoil alone would send that thing flying off his shoulders the moment he fired his first round, lmao.
What really bothers me about the movie is how Steven seagal holds the rifle at times like the stock of the rifle is over his shoulder so if he where to pull the trigger the recoil would not be held. And of course many other things.
LMFAO. HILARIOUS. this is why everyone wanted you to cover this episode. LMFAO
LMFAO!
“He hates cans!! Stay away from the cans!!”
"her entire collection of necklines GONE!!"
Ok you got me bro... you got me.
Seagal needs a stunt double for dialog.
Thanks for being so consistently hilarious with all your videos
6:52 I do think there is actually a "no stairs" clause in his contract. Seriously.
Superman has Kryptonite, Seagal has stairs....
Using SpaceIce as a comparison for this movie review I'd give you a B+. Well done.
I freaking lost it on the "Hey why you getting up?" part.
Seagull puts the "can" n _cannibalism_ lol
The man walks with an air of confidence rarely seen in this day and age.
I wish I had his confidence... He seems to get it from out of thin air...
Walk?
Made me laugh really hard when you realized you compared Rear Window to this movie 😂
You should do a team up video with Space Ice over one of the Seagal films.
The box art tried to trick people into thinking it was Jean-Claude
"Government Assassin Cop"'
starring Steven seagull & Neal brean directed by Amir Shirvan .....
Sadly Amir Shirvan has passed away in 2006.
Those two look like literal gravy seals, this is absolutely hilarious
1:40 It is obvious that it is not Jean-Claude Van Damme. He would never play in Seagal's movie, because he had beef with Seagal. Also Seagal would never hire Van Damme to his movie, because he simply dislikes him (he rejected role in The Expendables because of him).
Of course, it's obvious to those who knows the backstory, but it can be misleading to the casual viewer.
It's as if they wanted to fool people into thinking it was Jean Claude by deliberately just putting the last names of both actors.
5:46 + 13:12 - Mark's acting seems to be getting better and better. 🙂
“Above The Law” and “Hard To Kill” “Out For Justice” “Under Siege 1&2” were all so amazing. It’s such a shame to see what’s become of Seagal
What’s interesting/funny about this movie is that, from what I understand, it was actually meant to capitalize on the success of the then-recently-released American Sniper movie. I’m guessing the reason Steven Seagal’s billed in it yet does virtually nothing is that it was literally the only way they could’ve drawn ANYONE’S attention to what would’ve otherwise been just another bog-standard mockbuster that people would spot at Redbox and then promptly forget about.
Stepdads with karate complexes love this shit
Seagal is the definition of a Gravy Seal
most of Pierce Brosnan's roles are like this now too.
He was great as dr fate in black adam unlike ~cough steven seagal
@@heavenpiercer5095 yeah, probably paid higher than that stunt in Army of the dead i think, he just stood most times, or was that from misfits.
Who the hell even watch that boring old fart Brosnan anyway.
Yeah Pierce Brosnan doesn't pretend to be an ultra-badass in real life though.
fanboy flicks is the mega-blockbuster hit channel that loves steven seagull. is making videos on seagull difficult? actually, no, it's super easy, barely an inconvenience. do we want more? please and thank you.
That poster is so fucking funny 😂 love how they obviously superimposed his face on somebody else’s body
I'm guessing Oakley feels embarassed that Seagal is wearing one of his hats.
I was a Green Beret (18A, 18D), and I was Sniper qualified… if you want to see what Green Berets think of this movie, go watch the Beers and Breakdowns on FNG channel.
Seagal clearly saw American Sniper and said I can do that.( even give him a Mk18 and .338 Bolt gun).
The rifle he’s using is designed for 1000m-2000m… but he’s in a California town and everything seems to be
Whoever in the future does a movie portraying Steven Seagall in a strange biopic, they're going to win an Oscar for playing such a talentless figure. 😂
I've seen coverage on this film before from GBorBB, but definitely not this much detail! Seagal's requirements to "perform" are unreal, and honestly, I have to wonder how much longer he'll be around. The report of him vomiting and passing out is terrifying, that’s a great way to aspirate food and choke. I knew a family who lost a daughter when she threw up in her sleep one night, and they found her the next morning... Really sad.
SPACE ICE and JASON BRANDT also did this movie
That "report" was an obvious troll post Mark even said so right before.
He's just waiting it out. I'll just sit for the whole movie to end and go home to rest some more. 😂