Why Can't Narcissists Be Kind?
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- Опубліковано 5 тра 2024
- Most would agree that kindness is a hallmark of a healthy style of engagement. Being an encourager goes a long way in making life seem right. Dr. Les Carter explains how narcissists might (?) make efforts at kindness, but their internal turmoil trips them up. He examines keen insights for you to understand about their internal turmoil.
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Dr. Les Carter is a best selling author and therapist who has semi-retired to Waco, TX. For 40+ years he maintained a counseling practice in Dallas, conducting more than 65,000 therapy sessions and many workshops and seminars. He specializes in anger management and narcissistic personality disorder. Since creating his UA-cam channel, his videos have received more than 110 million views.
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Narcissists pretend to be kind to get what they want and then afterward will stab you in the back.
This is so true.
The blk community killed my nephew. 2 decades that blk community an those narcissist been living off slandering my name so much my identity was stolen. No one could believe me? I'm n my 60s this gangstalkers set me up at that grayhound bus station n NJ. After I left my partner.
I'm n my 69s 2day. I was 45 when my life change.
This past Wednesday was not going well, I was concerned. I reached out to a friend and they were not supportive. That was so disturbing and defies common sense. I then went outside to do something I do every night, only this time I was injured in a strange mishap. I still don't know how it could have happened as it was supposed to be stationary.
The next morning I get flowers and kindness. It just went on from there but you get it right?
I really think my guardian angel quided my movements because I could have really been hurt and I feel so gaslit. Other circumstances thrown in just increased the feeling things were too pleasant.
Pseudopampering,gaslighting,rewards etc are some of the attributes of narcissists
Kindness is seen as weakness. A narcissist won’t have anything to do with weakness.
they have contempt for it, because they are weak cowards bullies but in denial that they are. it's funny how they view thmselves as victims, but view their victims as pathetic. call you crazy while gaslighting you, totally oblivious to the difference between confusion because of their decption vs. you being mentally ill, while also abusing you because they see you as mentally ill (when you're actually not, just being lied to/backstabbed). in short, they deceive themselves, lie to you, call you crazy for being confused by their hostility, then abuse you further because you're confused.
That’s why they kick you when you’re down. To distance themselves from you. And the lower you they put you down, they higher they are by comparison. Much of their energy goes into enforcing the contrast between them and other people, so they can stay “elevated”
Yet words may be forgotten Kindness and how you treat others is always remembered.
@@vickiegroome3220True!!! People may forget what you'd told them but they'll always remember how you'd made them feel... 😉
I was a target because my compassion was veiwed as weakness
Their phony kindness is a tool to control or manipulate. If you accept it, beware.
They can't be genuinely kind, only pretend to be. They are so insidious. . .
And only to strangers...or if there's an audience.
@@Suzu52& IF there's an audience, they turn Them into minions!!!
They're in survival mode 24/7. They are also miserable and full of self loathing. You can only give to others what you have. They have no kindness to give.
That's weird. I was able to be kind despite being in survival mode. My dad also "can't eat" unless he is in my face cussing and screaming, spitting food all over my face. He also "can't walk" without tripping me up. Gee golly, he's just gotta. Stop being so mean to the bully! Let him bully you so he can feel like a big, tough man. My dad really believes that being a husband and father means you just picked up some slaves and can abuse them to your will. At least that's how he acts. Actions speak louder than words.
My dad is the scumbag that women complain about and end up calling men who aren't scumbags a scumbag because of "men" like my dad. I despise him for that also. I'm sick of being blamed for other people's wrongdoings while at the same time, they are praised for it because people don't want to upset them. So people project all blame onto you to go along to get along with the narc. Cowardice is a serious problem in modern society. It's up there with lust, greed, envy, and falsely accusing people that are destroying society from the inside.
@@dakoderii4221❤
If a narcissist is calculatingly & manipulatively "kind": be wary, it's likely they WANT something from you, will TAKE ADVANTAGE of you, ruthlessly continually badger you until they get what they want, ESCALATE, & will GUILT-TRIP you into ceding it to them, for the narcissist's own egocentric BENEFIT & CONVENIENCE!
@@dakoderii4221 There's too much cowardice and lack of backbone and conviction in the Church as well. Jesus was very strong when he needed to be, with certain types of people. (With the religious hypocrites he was very bold and forthright.) We need to follow his example, and be bold and courageous when we need to, else we are all but surrendering to evil: "A righteous person who yields to the wicked is like a muddied spring or a polluted well." - Proverbs 25:26
@dakoderii4221 If people stood together against narcissists, it would end the problem, well, at least curtail it. Unfortunately, our society is each person for themselves now. Most people would rather not bother calling out a narcs bad behavior to not rock the boat. I've gotten in a lot of trouble in my life because I'll jump in the hornet's nest if I see someone being mistreated. It's interesting that most people will get more angry at me for calling the narc out, rather than being angry at the narc for abusive behavior. We live in an upside-down world.
Once you see the narcissistic patterns of seduction, manipulation, phoniness, devaluation, discard and hoover, you see how unkind, rude, deceitful, jealous, envious, greedy and angry they are, you don’t want to have anything to do with them.
You are absolutely spot on. They embraced the hurt that was previously inflicted on them as an excuse to be nasty and practice the seven deadly sins!!
You are absolutely spot on. They embraced the hurt that was previously inflicted on them as an excuse to be nasty and practice the seven deadly sins!!
True! Run for the hills! ...Once 'ya sense the narcissists' playbook of emotionally-provoking mind games.
👍
And by that stage you find you’re in over your head.
Walk away walk away walk away is the only answer
I always hear this (walk away walk away walk away), on the theme of Orinoco flow by Enya (instead of: Sail Away Sail Away Sail Away)..
It plays on repeat in my head in shitty situations...
@@PantaRhei-wz5znI'm going to borrow that! Thanks!! I'd much rather have Enya in my head than the narc! ❤
👍
Correction if I may, RUN don’t WALK 😳
They pretend to be kind, but they can't be kind. 😮
One of the examples of that is my ex-friend. He looks so nice and kind, but he failed in marriage twice. His first spouse ran away from home.
🏃♀💨💨🏠
Yes, looking kind and being kind can be two different pairs of shoes. 👍
My stepmother is an execellent example of wanting to look kind but if her expectations are not met, she immediately gets furious, insulting. That has always been a red flag for me that her kindness is not genuine at all.
@@roxymovie3938 The double whammy is that people around them only know the Dr. Jekyll aspect of them. Mr. Hyde immediately turns back into Dr. Jekyll when someone comes to them.
@@yukio_saito I understand what you mean but I don't fully agree for there are differences. In workplaces a Mr Hyde will mostly of the time switch back to Dr Jekyll very quickly, like you said, and I guess the reason for this ability of high functioning masking lies in the fact that these people are younger, which means they have more energy left to do so. Masking costs a lot of energy because it is unnatural. When people get older, the masking becomes a bit difficulter for them and so sometimes they can't really switch back, at least not so quickly as they would like.
Kindness is one of the narcissist glitches
If they do show any kindness there's a price to pay with a narc
When dealing with narcissists, be emotionless, 😐, inwardly logical, yes outwardly neutral!
Thankyou for the imput to ease the blows coming at me good point sir😅😊
So true. Don't react, just assert boundaries.
My beloved grandmother passed away in 1976 (when I was 14 years old). I was amazed that hundreds of people attended her memorial service. During the reception following her burial, those same guests approached me and spoke of my grandmother’s kindness, compassion, helpfulness, and generosity. I still cry when I think about her and her reputation as a “servant of the Lord”. To this day, my Grandma Hilda remains the primary role model of who I try to be.
My grandmother passed in 1976, same feelings! 🧡🫂🌹
Glad you have her memory still impacting you.
Her legacy is a good reminder of how we ought to live.
Any form of kindness the narcissist offers usually comes with conditions so it’s not genuine.
Yep. The narcissist uses "debt-by-obligation" ruses & emotionally manipulative ploys to implicitly expect something in return, making you feel forever indebted to them, "with strings attached", whilst pulling on your heartstrings surrounding urgencies & emergencies, guilt-tripping, & victimhood to ensnare your conscience-driven empathies.
I manage my narcissistic mother's finances. Last month, I spent days filing her tax return. She was falling all over herself with gratitude and compliments at the time.
She just called me to ask if I took her her checkbook because, of course, that's the first explanation that occurred to her when she couldn't find it in her purse.
The "kindness" is just a superficial receipt for the transaction of doing them a favor, just like they demand a handwritten, stamped thank-you note for every gesture they make. It must be exhausting and depressing to never, ever feel the sincere gratitude in an in-person expression of thanks or the simple joy of being able to help someone because you're able to do so without needing a show of acknowledgment.
How to overcome their cruelty
1. Have pity for them. They've missed out on goodness and real love.
2. Stay objective. Neutral communication with them, No agitated debates.
3. Establish your own personal truths.
Live your best life family ✨️
My parents both had a very badly childhood, without getting love.But my father became a very kind,friendly and respectful person. My mother a narcissistic nightmare.
There is no peace for a narcissist, inner or outer. Peace comes from practicing decency, respect, civility; all forms of love.
This is such a great perspective IMO. Great comment
AMEN!
Narcissists really and truly believe that they're kind.
I catch that red flag when their negative, petty and announcing themselves to be empathic
They believe they are kind when they give you unsolicited advice.
Yeah, narc MIL used to say "I only tell you (insert my flaw here) because I love you" after she has very loudly verbally attacked me for my parenting choices and it hurt every time (kids are all grown). I now see that she thought she was being kind but doesn't understand kindness the way I understand it.
When you finally wake up you just don’t want to go back to sleep. It’s just not inviting
Right. Once you see it, you can’t unsee it.
It actually comes with a certain peace
Always the victim never the abuser . They play a dangerous game that has no empathy what so ever
Its absurd that I constantly have to live with my guard up around my narcissistic family
All the narcs I know see themselves as kind, generous and godlike. But I’ve found most to be cold and unaffectionate, cheap and morally and spiritually bankrupt.
Nailed it!
My mother is precisely this way. But she's also a holy roller. She has deep, deep delusions that she's a good Christian woman, when in reality, she's the biggest, nastiest hypocrite I've ever known. My mother went to religion and became "codependent on Jesus" to avoid any sort of responsibility and accountability for her crappy behavior. If God forgives her, then she's forgiven and can continue to be evil to others because God said it was okay as long as she shows up on Sunday with her halo polished and straightened. These holy roller narcs are the worst.
They are full of hate. All the time. And direct it at everyone. What a horrible way to live.
Our kindness is an inroad for their unkindness toward us , and our boundaries are unkindness toward them.
A narcissist will quickly accuse others of not being empathetic in order to get their way. Just walk away and know you are protecting yourself. They cannot be kind for the sake of kindness.
They never give in because they only want to manipulate you. Accusations, name-calling, withholding, never apologetic and re-directing the conversation so they can appear to get what the want or "win"
They are just miserable people.
Narcissists are consumed in Pride. Pride is the root to Selfishness, and Selfishness is antithetical to Kindness.
Hey Team Healthy friends 😊♥️
❤😁
They start by pretending to be kind.
That is a frightening thought actually.
Mean and nasty is the glue which holds them together.
Without it, they fall apart.
I have helped my narcissistic sister so many times over the years - by helping her recover from alcohol and drug use, helping raise her daughter, letting her live with me for a while, and spent thousands of dollars on her. One of the last times I talked to her, she accused me of only helping her to make myself look better, which is just not true. I genuinely felt bad for her. Then she went on to say she will never accept any more help from me, like she was punishing me. I just thought, well good! That will make my life much easier! Thank you Dr. C for all you do to help us recover!
I am avoiding my unkind narcissist family member- I have more peace - no more headache 🤕 with their toxic behavior
I have the option of no contact with this narcissist
My father never said a kind word in his life, stuck to criticism & made only occasional transactional gestures. He rejected gifts as well. I still remember a bag of apples he brought home that made me suspicious. Perhaps poisoned? I learned to decline everything he offered as bait
I remember one time my late husband (i am a widow ) brought home some flowers for me ,after a argument, he would never say sorry or anything, just threw flowers at me, it was just a transaction, no feeling.
My mother only had good things to say about celebrities (even minor ones, like local talk radio hosts). For those she knew in daily life it was just criticism and humorless mockery aside from empty chatter. But she must have learned to fake enough kindness to keep her second husband from leaving, he stayed with her until his death from cancer.
@@sherylo994 They cannot say sorry or go into any kind of depth as to why they are sorry or trying to explain it. They just cannot give an authentic apology, like communicating that they really mean that they truly are sorry. Staying at if for more than 30 seconds would be improbable or impossible, and blame shifting highly likely if they were to be asked any questions about the issue at hand. You might get gaslit too. It's just crazy how they operate and how they so often are completely unwilling or unable to look at themself. It's a real strain having them in your life and you are much better off reducing or eliminating contact with them because you will get sick from the interaction with these people sooner or later, psychologically or physically or both. And you can do life without them if you just dare to believe that you can. ❤
That was my stepfather. A real prick.
The narc in my life is very “kind” by helping any stranger they can find then telling everyone about it to “encourage” us to always look for ways to help others. They never miss a chance to brag about the times they helped a perfect stranger. Meanwhile I have to figure out how to help myself and get stuff taken care of on my own because they are absent or too exhausted. It’s taught me to be very independent and not rely on them. Spent too many years trusting them and dealing with the inevitable disappointment.
It seems when they do help on that rare occasion they are so
Uncomfortable that they begin drama and complaining and belittling starts trying to trigger you that you wish you never asked.
Kindness is beautiful.
They can be kind to everyone else but you
Narcissists can be kind and charming, but only when it serves their interests or feeds their ego. However, genuine kindness and empathy require:
1. Ability to put others' needs before their own
2. Understanding and acknowledging others' feelings
3. Willingness to listen and validate others' experiences
4. Capacity for selflessness and compassion
Narcissists often struggle with these qualities due to:
1. Overwhelming self-focus
2. Lack of emotional empathy
3. Need for control and dominance
4. Inability to recognize and respect boundaries
While narcissists may display kindness to manipulate or impress others, it's not a genuine or sustainable trait for them. Their primary motivation is self-interest, making it challenging for them to truly be kind and caring towards others.
Remember, you deserve genuine kindness and respect! Don't settle for superficial charm or manipulation.
Good advice all around. Thanks.
They can if someone else is watching
😂
They can be very kind to strangers.
A narcissistic individual's reality is like a Dali painting - everything looks like the object it should be, but it's melted or misplaced so it won't work the way it should. No matter how beautifully they are "painted," they are good from far, but far from good! Stay Healthy!!
Ohhh, Salvadore! Whoa, the vision of altered reality, great analogy, thank you!
This reminds me from sociology they talked about how we only see things through our own framework or filtered lens, we must practice taking ourself out of the box to see things from multiple angles. GUS is Love.
@@THRASHMETALFUNRIFFS Lol! I was toying with Escher - you know the stairs that ascend and descend but there's no final destination, but Dali just seemed right. Thank you THRASH! GUS is US!
@@BaraSchmidt Yes, I have that framed print on the wall here. I really like his self portrait with the hand in the metal ball though, it was on a cool skateboard graphic back in the day.
Why can't vultures be vegetarian?
😂
"I'm just trying to be helful" when it really is controlling.
Yes! Then they're angry and vindictive if you don't want what they're offering
I've also experienced both of the above!
THIS!!!
My ex was unkind to my sweet dog. I believe anyone unkind to animals are also unkind to humans. That’s been my experience anyway.
Its really hard to keep that pity for someone you know is sadly miserable inside when they play ovrflowing and bubbly in front of so many while being complete joy suckers to those they live with.
If my nex was ever kind, it wasn't genuine. There would always be something to be gained from it like emotional stroking, monetary gain, social recognition, etc. He was always mean and nasty to me. Some fake kindness occasionally would have been nice.
Yes, narcissists are transactional in nature. Fake kindness to get what they want, even if it's just to 'look' like a kind person.
Mine would sometimes say, "I'm really a good guy". He wasn't.
My N ex would never do anything unless there was something in it for himself. Even when I was pregnant he wouldn't go to the store for me unless he needed something himself.
There's only kindness if it's assured that there's a yummy supply in the room !! It's all about feeding for these creatures .
Yep! That's why they're also referred to as "hungry like a 🐺wolf" predators.
@@d0v3Tai1 ......yep 👍 or emotional vampires .
I remember a conversation with my narcissistic ex in which I was asking him to be kind to me. He kept saying that I wanted praise. I don't know if he just didn't understand the difference. I am a quiet person, he once called me submissive. I am not. He mistook my quietness for weakness. I have a lot of inner strength and I know who I am. Praise is nice, but kindness is what I wanted. I finally realized that kindness was not going to be coming from him. I did feel sorry for him because I know life could be so much easier for him if he were not narcissistic, but I am not a magician, I can't help him.
"He kept saying that I wanted praise."
Real kindness associated with openness and vulnerability. Characteristics that are not exists in narcissistic personality.
(*openness)
My ex viewed being kind as telling people how they were awful people so they could fix themselves. I don't think he ever understood.
My now deceased husband showed a little kindness and empathy to others - just not to me after the first 3 months I knew him. It took a long time for me to accept that.
Dr Carter could you do a video on family scapegoating, how a scapegoat is chosen and how the role affects them in adulthood?
he might have done one already...you might want to search youtube if you havent looked for it....
@@user-fl3du2xz4d I've looked. I can find one on why narcissists need a scapegoat, but nothing on family scapegoating and how this plays out for the family scapegoat in later life.
Good message. Maybe being kind means just not engaging with the crazy making behavior.
A lack of kindness gave me an emotional shock of understanding. My narcissistic environment pretended kindness through many avenues, in retrospect I see the facade and thank you for the clear message you give.
If kindness is just a facade, an attempt to manipulate, it comes with an effort and what comes with an effort, does not come from the heart. And what does not come from the heart, is in my opinion unnattural, not real and untrue.
I am almost always a natural kind person because I like to treat everyone with respect because my moral compass is very strong for the value of justice because I was often deeply shamed.
But, if I am really triggered, my first response is freezing for the inner turmoil of anxiety is coming to the surface. My second response is emotional fight, which I do not like at all for my value of justice is very strong so that I am feeling guilty right away. If I am aware of the tense situation and I am out of the freezing mode, I will flight to get distance from the tension in order to get regulated by a walk. My fourth response is fawning, which I dislike the most for this is in my eyes nothing more than people pleasing, which is very dishonest.
Very awesome comment, you're spot on about "effort", I've heard the example "It's exhausting for them to pretend to be nice for very long which is why their supply usually gets the brunt of their offload behind closed doors".
I especially like your obviously self aware of how you choose to react at different times and even have guilt when you are forced to be reacting to something in a way that goes against your nature but I don't think you need me to tell you that's wonderful and you are PunkROX!
@@THRASHMETALFUNRIFFS Thanks a lot, Trash. You really brought some tears into my eyes for I am not used to get such a direct and fundamental compliment for being vulnerable.
Yes, in my teenage years I even looked punk and my attitude toward questioning a lot and not being mainstream has not changed that much.
So, thanks again for your feedback, that I appreciate very much for I know you truly mean what you say.
I also watched the video: The hidden evil beneath the narcissism right after this one they compliment each other.
The narcissist in my life feels like he always has to be a clown. was raised with lots family fighting and chaos .can't just be quiet and think. He said i had a boring family because we didn't fight,cuss,into how big a person is..i could go on and on..god has a special plan for this person
False narrative about other individuals. That really speaks to me. That’s what the narcissist did with me and people believed him. When he arrived with his partner I showed them kindness.making them feel welcome, and then everything changed. I am grateful for dr carters sessions as I have got on with my life and have a lot of friends who are genuinely kind to me. Who needs the narcissist? I don’t…Judy fro uk
Can you imagine how much and how many people you have helped and directly contributed to the healthy lives that have been blossomed for the future 😊
they call it 'nice' to get things, not kind to give without receiving
Those I've known could swear that they are very kind! And they give what they receive. They just feel they don't receive enough to reciprocate.
I've seen them act kind to aggravate someone they don't like to one up them.
Yes! I've seen this one often as well!!
Unfortunate yet true about narcs...😮
Dr.C with certainty you are the kindest man I have ever known! Thank you!🙏
You're so kind, Fred. Thanks.
He does seem pretty cool, right? Like the kind of dude you could have a beer and BBQ and talk philosophy and dogs with!
@@THRASHMETALFUNRIFFSyep he’s cool and kind!
7:00 i feel this is why some narcs perform acts of animal cruelty. Their inflicting of pain on a helpless creature is a projected cry for help 😢, the small sense of empowerment is something worth it, in their coping schema. BUT... Victimization NEVER gives us a right to perpetuate the nightmare. 😞
Kindness is pivotal. There are people now gone, that I've described as you said, as a kind person. Sadly, when the narcissists in my life used the appearance of kindness, it was always with a goal in mind, for how they could obligate the victim to be useful to them later.
I pity them. Not how they want me to pity them, with compliance. But because they miss out on what makes life worth living: kindness, love, joy, and delight in seeing others experience these things.
Bought a bunch of books with my tax return and "The Anger Trap" is one of them. I'm looking forward to the newest program.
Gus is so kind. He always lies there peacefully, letting you do your thing. Of course, seeing him is therapy for me. I love Gus ❤️
To a narcissist, kindness=weakness.
Kindness isn't in their DNA
Mine can be nice when he wants to look good for himself But kindness from the bottom of his heart is Never there. He is nice Only if he wants to receive something back
Great video. So true, that best to hope for is neutrality. And how they blame their bad mood, irritability, lack of kindness on you.
They can convince themselves and even others that they are kind, but watch how little they actually give when the camera isn't on them or when it's an inconvenience. They don't show up in hard times.
9:51 videos like this are so refreshing because some of us who choose to deal with the narcissist individual and it’s refreshing to hear someone acknowledge our hurt, pain and compassion.
So pleased it resonated
I don’t know if I’m going to ‘survive’ this divorce. He’s getting everyone against me
You 💯 will. People will see your true self when you are out and away. Hang in there! Be 💪
Smear campaigns suck.
I survived several that continue to this day. What these mean-spirited narcs and flying monkeys fail to realize, is the rumor and innuendo they spread reflects badly upon them.
People who know you well will probably be skeptical of such nonsense. If they are not, they may ask, at which point you should dispel.
Wishing you well.
You will survive, you need to. Eventually you will find your own world of true friends.
5 years out, I promise you it is survivable, you can now live, just stay away from unsafe people.
Keep going! You CAN do it! There are many of us out here that have succeeded and YOU can too!
First I need a better definition of what kindness is.. Is it people saying negative things about me behind my back? Is it people cutting me off? Is it people who lie to me? Is it people who don't listen? Is it people who use me? Is it people who lie, cheat, steal? Is it people who control and manipulate? Is it people who do not accept me?
Then I need to learn how to deal with them?
So glad I have empathy because I have learned the hard way of what the alternative is.
Relationships are games and competitions to be won -- sadly. So, at the end of the relationship, they don't just leave but seek to destroy. Since you are the loser in their eyes (i.e., not from their exquisite tribe), they will have nothing kind to say to you. This hypocrisy will shock you the most.
All so true ! And this person over time discouraged me from all my kind hearted efforts always telling me not to help that people did not deserve it
Imy purpose in life is to aid the hurting and he was really down on that
Came to the comments to see if anyone mentioned the oddness of them posting those “be kind” memes so frequently. Especially right after they’ve been cruel to you or someone else.
Yes they do that!!! Also posting a lot of Christian and inspirational quotes also. So disgusting and deceitful 😮!!
@@mikbella1 Yes! Those Christian/scriptures too. Idk what they’re doing now. It’s been several months since I finally went nc. So nice & peaceful now.
@rl453 I'm so glad you're at peace now. I've been plagued by nar relationships which began with my parental units unfortunately. So I'm now unlearning and relearning so much sighhhh
@@mikbella1 It took me so many decades to figure things out. We shouldn’t blame ourselves for not understanding sooner. If we were born into families like this then we were groomed since birth. This was what we knew as normal. My biggest issue now is working on the “narcissist fleas” I’ve picked up. That’s the main reason I follow videos like this. I need to continue to watch my own behaviors. None of this is fun. I feel such shame each time I recognize myself. But if I can’t acknowledge the behaviors then I can’t do anything to stop them.
@rl453 and the hurtful part is most of the narcissistic guys are the most handsome, fun and charming ones who make you fall easily for them (I'm a girl)
Thank you Dr Carter
I really enjoyed this video
Very helpful
I hope Gus is better
You are a good man, teacher, thank you.
God bless you.
Thank you.
Thank you 😊: again; thank you 😊
You're super. Thanks for all your work.
You're quite welcome.
Kindness to a Narcissist equals Supply. It is only shown When they need something from you. It comes with a" Warning". BEWARE!!!
In the couple i was the kind person with her and the kids. She was the opposite. Today i know that she play the chameleon and tried to copy who i was. She failed.
Not only bad role model for Kindness but you can add love, understanding and listening.
Oh dear your voice sound a bit scratchy. I hope you are well. Thanks for sharing this info. You are kind and helpful. Also, your dog is adorable.
I'm dealing with some major allergies, but going to a specialist Thursday.
Thank you so much for this DR Les, I can always discern Genuine kindness to fake kindness, Absolutely tremendous, Peace, love and respect to you, Gus and everyone, Thank you universe, All glory to the most high God 🌌❤💚💗💙💛🌈😃☘🕆🕊🦁🐎👽⚽✌🌹🦄😘🍄😇
It drives a narcissist crazy (more crazy) when they can't control you. They can't stand it. No control, no power.
That reminds me of a conversation I was having with my (who I didn't know at the time to be) narcissistic sister. I was subtly asking her if she would consider letting our older 72 year old single brother live in the house our recently deceased mother had left her, as she had 2 extra spare bedrooms and she was living there alone. My brother was catching buses, and living in an extended stay motel whose rent had just gone up. Anyway, her response after further discussion was, 'I responded once to someone using my 'heart' instead of my head and that didn't work out' - meaning she was not going to use her heart anymore to make any major decisions in her life. I was blown away and felt shocked and sad with her response.
But they do show themselves to be kind, confident and secure people?
Another note, however, if they were so kind confident and secure, then they should not feel the need or find it necessary to give their wife the silent treatment
Until they don't
Dr. Carter, I'm always amazed at the accuracy of your reports. And how you keep coming up with new ways to talk about this syndrome is a mystery . Such depth of understanding! I have a few narcissists in my life. I now respond to their antics in a much healthier way since listening to you. Thanks. You're a peach.
Wow, thank you!
Dr. C, all of your videos are excellent and have helped us to understand the narcissist in our lives, but this one is particularly important and helpful. Thanks so much for your wonderful videos. They have brought us through so many difficult situations. I listen to several every morning and they get me through the day.
So pleased!
Could we have a video on Mother’s Day for all those that can not have their mothers in their lives. I enjoy your content and find my self here when the heartache from no contact rears it’s ugly head. Thank you for what you so much appreciated!
Very helpful, and sad 💔
Gus is looking good! ❤️🤗♥️
Thank you Dr. Carter! 🫶🫶🫶
You're quite welcome!
Thank you so much the message came at the right time you are appreciated currently doing counseling right now I always was taught kill them with kindness unfortunately these ppl can take you out of character
Already saved 👍👍👍 Thanks again, Dr. Carter!! 🥰👍❤️
I take the high road they have zero class - it’s hard but it makes me feel better I’m not going stoop to their level . :)
Thank you. As always this is very helpful advice.
Awesome video!
Thank you! ❤