The Ultimate Proof Of Narcissists Quitting On Themselves
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- Опубліковано 3 тра 2024
- Do you ever have problems or do you sometimes feel stuck? Of course, you do. Healthy people are self-aware and will acknowledge the need for adjustments. When you say you need to adjust, you are saying "yes" to growth. When narcissists can't admit problems, it goes beyond dishonesty. It means they have quit on themselves. They refuse to mature.
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Dr. Les Carter is a best selling author and therapist who has semi-retired to Waco, TX. For 40+ years he maintained a counseling practice in Dallas, conducting more than 65,000 therapy sessions and many workshops and seminars. He specializes in anger management and narcissistic personality disorder. Since creating his UA-cam channel, his videos have received more than 110 million views.
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Once you understand the narcissist's playbook, they tell on themselves pretty much every time they open their mouths.
This is 🔑
They just lie, 24/7.😂
The lack of self-awareness means they can never see and understand that they cause their own problems.
Yes, that’s truly sad.
Times get rough , when the narcissist can not project his/her inner turmoil on anybody else. 🙄🤨🤐
Sucks for them
Yes, and that is one of the times they lash out. Not that they need an excuse 🙄🌸
@@Charmainecharmainecharmaine , I have no sympathy either.
@@amandaliverpool3374 , yes when supply runs short, wearing the mask becomes too much of an effort to the narcissists and you can see their true face more often. Lashing out they might not necessarily do because you might just take off.
@mariaawake4502 That's true. Also when they don't lash out, when you think they might, they wait for another opportunity when you are least prepared!!!
"nah, blaming you is a whole lot easier". Perfectly said
Absolutely 💯
I remember a codependent family member who defended a narcissist by saying to the receiver of narcissistic abuse: it maybe very disturbing to you (because of your own faulty perception), but YOU are the one who has the problem, no-one else. So if it hinders you greatly, YOU will have to work on yourself (again, because of your faulty perception). Nobody else has a problem, and YOU might even become a hindrance to others (because of ...you get it) . And the narcissist can just continue in full denial, while you are being policed by a flying monkey. This is how relations went in the family setting. Sick.
It sounds like classic denial and projection by way of a co-dependent enabler.
😢
A narcissist doesn't see their own faults and they don't ask for help and refuse any type of help. Needing help is a sign of wickness. They're destructive human beings for themselves and others.
If a narcissist cannot admit they’re at fault, they’re just out of luck as far as finding any future happiness. They will continually drive people away.
They will drive everyone away except for their enablers. Some people are just as sick (co-dependent) as them.
Concealing their shame over whatever wounds they keep is #1, yet they love to shame others with little jabs & obvious insults. It's like they bathe in the discomfort of others.
My husband constantly says I have the need for drama and making life difficult because he just wants a peaceful life ie leave me alone and serve me as I need and want and if you don’t, that’s your fault if you aren’t happy because I’m now unhappy. Everything is everyone else’s fault but never his. If he is ever bad in his behaviour, someone made him do it so it’s their fault. He should have tattooed across his forehead “Pity me because it wasn’t my fault “
I gave my ex one last chance by going to therapy with me. The therapist “fired” him midway through the second session! Nothing was ever his fault. I have been happily remarried for many years and the ex continues to be miserable.
I learned from dealing with my narcissistic parents that narcissists don't care about a reciprocal relationship. It's really weird having an interaction with my narcissistic parents realizing they don't care about most of what I have to say other than me propping up their ego and helping them feel superior to me and in control of me; Then it's weird to realize that at some point in the conversation I'm having with my parents that I'm going to be insulted so they can feel superior to me and in control of me. I'm no contact with them because I care about my well being. I'd rather spend my birthday and holidays alone than spend my birthday and holidays with my parents who like to put me down so they can feel superior to me and in control of me.
Sounds exactly like mine. Hard to believe that these kinds of heartless parents actually exist in this world SMH. And I make sure I encourage and love on my kids and make them feel accepted and special!
@@mikbella1 Narcissistic parents get upset at their children becoming free of their control and that's not natural. Naturally, a child is supposed to grow up and become free of the parent's control. Most parents who are narcissists would rather see their children who are free of them become homeless and have to ride a bicycle for transportation.
@@rwdchannel2901 exactly. It's so toxic and very sad for us as children coming to that realization
I was raised by two narcissistic only children who never loved us for who we really were, so in college I began seeking help, but never in my 65 years did I ever receive it from a therapist until I came across Dr. Carter ♥️ finally narc free & healing as I grow towards health
I hear you ❤ and I am sorry you had to endure this. I strongly agree. Dr. C. changed my life!
They will never be authentic self. They create a false facade and make a fake narrative. They take credit for something genuine.😧
There is no authentic self. I think much unhappiness these days is due to the effort people put into creating or embodying their “identities,” performing “authenticity,” and holding desperately on to their “stories.”
They can not be bothered with real life, so why should they make any efforts in their own 🤷♀️
Facts. The light scares them away, like roaches scatter and hide when the light switch is turned on.
So true Amanda. They are superficial, we have heart. 👍🏼
@@elcee7800 True 👍 I'm trying not to wear mine on my sleeve so much ❤️
@@amandaliverpool3374 I have learned to do that very recently too. 😔
The doctor is revealing things about himself. He held a practice working with "narcasists"?? Something sounds fishy. Social economics and religion are being wrapped 🫔🎁 in one magically 🪄✨
They die in their state of denial... almost always...
you are just a wonderful, humble person. It's a privilege to have the opportunity to listen to your wise & comforting words, Les.
Thanks so much.
Don’t give up on yourself.
True.
Lovely comment, I needed that today, thank you
They expect you to care when they don't, not enough for themselves let alone anyone else.
Thanks Dr. C. Yes, narcissists are more attached to their illness than to anything or anyone else.
It is a privilege to be helped by you! 💯
Absolutely 💯
A narcissistic individual will never do a reconciliation of self. Add that to the infinite list of healthy human qualities they avoid like authenticity, empathy, honesty, trustworthiness... Stay Healthy!
I've tried to talk to all my siblings about going to therapy over our childhood. They'd rather make fun of me and blame every mistake they ever made on it their whole lives.
For the Narcissit they dont look at their dark side, or if they do, it's completely justified because we are so bad.
Narc victims can spend decades looking at their dark side and are convinced their dark side is darker than it is.
For the the Narc victims the difficult part is believing we have a light side, and that we are not lying to ourselves about it.
❤️🩹
❤
A collapsed narcissist is at rock bottom as narcissistic supply becomes scars, he becomes engulfed by his own false self, false is his only companion, he becomes self supply, a dwarfed narcissist at the end his life.
I've witnessed this multiple times.
Lol! Dwarf,lol
My father @ 92 ❤️🩹 pitiful wreck of a wasted life spent hurting others
*or She, thats where my step mom is at
My grandfather was a very cruel alcoholic husband, father and grandfather. His culture looks at any kindness as a sign of weakness. The last few weeks of his life he was quiet. No one had anything good to say at the funeral. My mother continues this curse and I am canceling it out. It is a challenge, but like they say, change your story…change your life. I am not glued to our culture like she is. 😎
I really appreciate how you differentiate healthy thought process from narcissistic ones, Doc. Makes me feel validated
I hope to promote growth. That's the point!
I have traveled a long road and many narcissists have been a part of it. You can believe that there is a God who instructs us or not but I believe my mind and heart have been through a long lesson on who these people are and who I am and who I am not as a result of meeting each and every one of them.
My narc says: "I didn't call my friend, and that is your fault!" . "When I do wrong things is because of you!". OMG, who can understand this narcs?!? They forget things, and that is someone's fault, they decide to hit the decorative ornaments and that is our fault again! Very irrational people. 😮🤔🤮🤢🤥
I needed this one today. I found myself falling into an old bad habit that I thought I'd left behind. That was tough to admit to myself, to say that I'm the problem. This was an important reminder that we can all do better
My best friend is married to a mean narcissist .. It makes me sad.
Wow, you just mentioned the dark side. My ex would say “if it wasn’t for your mom (meaning me) I’d be on the dark side”. Been separated for 10 years -divorced for four and I refused to see him once we separated.
He became a raging alcoholic, Xanax user, in debt over $200,000 and became homeless. They found him passed away in a field during a terrible storm. Truly Unbelievable!
Mid-level manager used to make about 160 K a year. I couldn’t put up with the behaviors anymore. I knew something was wrong, but did not know what it was. 19 years of ridiculous behavior.
Incredibly sad for our daughter. But thank you so much for all of this amazing advice. He came from a long line of narcissists and I guess this was the was the result, unfortunately.
I finally realized what was wrong, and got out literally in the nick of time. Thank you!
The store clerk asked "do you need help?" I replied: "I need a lot of help!" I love your videos. Thanks.
Seriously - Please consider re-titling this, "Things Narcissists Will Never Say." 😂You will probably get a million likes within a few months! THANK YOU, Dr. Carter! This is GREAT!
My narrc parents had me convinced I was the narrc for decades. It want until I moved out that I realized how twisted it all was. They still accuse me of it to this day.
Go no contact if you can.
Dr. Carter, your videos are helping me so much. This one most of all. Thank you for making your wisdom available.
I’m going through a divorce right now; I never have experienced such pain. It’s heartbreaking to realize this wasn’t true love.
You're going through a tough time of transition but there are better things ahead. Best wishes to you.
Thank you Dr. C. We need these reminders. They are coming from one place and we are coming from another. They choose to stay stuck. We can choose to no longer try to change or ‘teach’ them and move forward. No more false hope. It is ok to let people that hurt you, go.
We don’t have to search for the old us or new us, we want to be the REAL us. Personally, that was hindered until this year. Thank you for the clarity and many months of guidance and support. ❤🕊
Hi Bunny ❤ very pleased to see a comment of yours after I haven't seen you for a while, wondering if you are already living on your own, seperated from the disturbing family enviroment of yours 🤔
I would describe it as "coming from the same place but from totally different worlds".
I really like your description of "not searching for the old .. or new .. but .. REAL". 😊
Wishing you all the best 💛🫂
@@roxymovie3938 Hey Roxy! It is so good to see you. I like your description! I hope all is well with you. Things are a bit slow with moving out but I just keep focusing on my goals. My pastor has a support group and the “real” you quote is from him. After two years of silence in the zoom meetings, I actually speak and share now. Everyone is so happy that I talk now. I hope that lasts. Lol.
I will never, ever forget all of the love and support you gave me here. Dr. C. has literally changed my life. Jerry Wise (he was a guest here awhile back) has been a great deal of help as well for the scapegoat role. I am actively working on myself and very actively advocating for my apartment. Slowly but steadily I will get there! I love you Roxy. Take good care. ❤️🫂❤️💕❤️💕🕊
Was discussing this w my therapist yesterday. My mom had a rough life yet inherited a bit. She gave the most to my younger brother who went off to college and became a cocaine addict. He's now dying of throat cancer and blames the family's second hand smoke. I never smoked. I found it disgusting. He's now so angry at the damage surgery did, my heart aches. Blame blame blame. Very sad. Good morning Team Healthy and Dr C.🌄
Oh man. Throat cancer would be a hard pill to swallow (no pun intended). I wonder if cocaine use may have contributed to it? I abhor smoking too. My dad smoked himself to death. He died of COPD at age 61.
My mum had oesophagal cancer, attached to the lung. Although she'd kicked the habit previously, the damage was already done. I've never smoked either. My thoughts are with you ❤️
Good morning. ☀️
🫂❤
That's rough, I'm not surprised he is upset
When your a proclaimed know it all - how can they possibly say that they need help 🤔
My experience with narcissists asking for help is when they want you to do something they don't want to do, which is almost everything. It's never about them indulging in introspection.
Oh they will do it for attention or to hoover you back in. It's just another manipulative tactic however, never a genuine expression of themselves.
They typically don't. The only time a narcissist seeks help is when family members give them an ultimatum or they want a therapist to throw them a pity party and confirm that they are a victim. They are always the victim in their minds.
There is a difference between needing help and manipulation.. There is a saying that says it is for people who want it and not for people who need it..
The manipulation steps in when the narcissist says I went to see a doctor for my anger problems and he said is nothing wrong with me...😢
Is there a possibility that the narcissist manipulates also the doctor or is just another link in their chain of lies?
@@pugnasilvia943 Yes
What really helped me understand narcissist better is the splitting/black and white thinking. I think the logic about help goes this way in their head: If I need help, that means I am not great, if I am not great, that means I am the worst (since they cannot see anything as other than amazing or the worst), and since feeling like the worst is something I do not ever want to do, I will pretend like I am the best, and not ask for help. This really fits my childhood with my narcissistic dad and grandmother.
My father was telling me how he "purges" his stress. At work, he leaves his home stress at home. At home, he leaves his work stress at work. He's constantly telling me I need to purge. I always find it confusing, especially since 1 time in particular, I was telling about my spouse having 2 days to pay a traffic ticket. I was told that I needed to remind them or pay it for them, or else we may run into serious issues. I said, "Do you understand now? An adult will not take responsibility. One for the cause of the ticket and now taking care of it. "We" will suffer the consequences (we already do, to an extent, because of insurance premiums), so it's MY responsibility to ensure THEIR problem is taken care of. I don't have the ability to purge." I sometimes wonder if he's a narcissist too.
I remember him saying, "I'll never change," after blaming his son for something he didn't do on his son's birthday. I knew then his son would leave him. He calls me to ask if I've seen his son.
Narc Dad's love to confuse, keep you on your toes, subvert expectations. What better day to do that than on special occasions? Pathetic.
@@walmaldron They live to bring misery to those who care about them. So sad
Smack dab during session 4. I’ll try to catch up Sunday. This sounds intriguing.
We're thinking of you Aaron 🤗
The narcissist will attack other people all the time. You can sense the vibe it's like a tense anger underneath the false veneer. If you observe them the real person emerges in family dynamics or the workplace. Bitter angry and lashing out toward others. I find that avoiding the entanglements with a friendly nod is the best approach. Be kind and have compassion for their suffering while using your wisdom to avoid the wrath of this type of personality. A narcissist likes to throw off the people that recognize the pattern. They will go out of their way to attempt to trip you up and put you on the defensive. Don't do that just let them vent and let their rage go in one ear and out the other. Move on happily and be respectful, kind, go serve others and enjoy your day.
"That assumes I'm actually sane" is hilarious!😂 Your delivery, information and honesty is refreshing. Plus, Gus is a really chill, cool sidekick. I assume he would be/is a great emotional support dog. Thank you for your videos.
You can get a narcissistic person to be able to reflect and gain insight into themselves, but insight oriented therapy doesn't then lead to change in behaviour. I've heard narcissists tell me that their psychologist gently helped them understand that their emotional development was around the age of three, and that they had used their partners in the past. But they then say,....." but the psychologist was really good about how they said it". This then caused them to feel deep shame and then panic and look for new narcissistic supply quickly instead of taking time to process and make changes.
Thank you for another great video. You described our narcissist, my younger brother, perfectly. After our parents passed away, and he saw that we were not going to pick up where they left off and coddle him and give him everything he wanted, he just gave up on himself. Although there were kind people who showed him various options and offered good advice, he was not interested.The only "help" he will accept is cash --- with no conditions, stipulations, and absolutely no advice. He already knows it all, and seems to prefer living in Mom's old car instead of listening to anyone's advice.
All of his relatives, immediate and extended, and his ancestors as far as we know, were responsible and hard-working. All of his nieces and nephews, the next generation, are also, achieving things that he never did. Yet, according to him, we have no compassion: we are responsible for his situation; the world and progress are evil. I personally cannot comprehend it.
As simple as that. If only he helped me move away that fallen tree damming up our relationship, it would have flourished. 😢
Sorry honey, no. He would have put another barrier in place. There is no relationship possible with a narcissist. It’s always one way and will forever be. My parents have been married 62 years and nothing has ever changed. Now you need to move on and find someone worthy of you. I hope that you find the strength and enthusiasm to live your life to the full. It is time, move on.
@@valerieh84 I am speaking on the whole, in the general scheme of things. I already know everything about this topic thanks to the experts. I don’t need your brick wall.
I'm not sure I understand. I'm eager to see what Dr. C has to say about this.
My big sister projects constantly. Its exhausting.
It gave me so much Insight, yes, thank you Dr. Carter! I notice I always listen as if I have both positions inside me. That way always asking myself, am I on the right path. Especially since I put strict boundaries up. Working and learning about how I can protect my peace now. But never stopping therapy because I deserve to grow out of remaining codependence or familial control or the burdon of having to jump hoops for others.
Narcissists won't go to therapeutic sessions viz. Therapy, Meditation, Healthy Self-Care, etc., even if they get a free invitation/pass, neither would they let others go for it, but they will definitely attend pity parties hosted by their flying monkeys/enablers/etc.🤔probably because they are scared to face their fears, even if they might find these associations and activities 'interesting' thinking if they never come out of it🤔just like some incurable illnesses🤔"No apologies for being a life long learner", such a great statement indeed Dr. C, isn't it Team Healthy and Gus🤔many thanks for highlighting it🌟🤷♀️🙏🌷🕊💝🤗
My oldest daughter is a narcissist. It got to the point where i would walk on egg shells around her. She moved in with my mom at 16. I tried to warn her. She knows now. She has burned almost every bridge with immediate family. Now she has a son. She's 18.
Oh Wow! This is needed!!
This is one thing that I struggle with the most. I have asked people for help at different points in my life and I got to the point where I stopped asking. Not everyone turned me down but most definitely did. Even my ex wife while we were married would say she would take care of things and yet instead of helping me with her tasks I would just end up doing it myself. Yet I was always the person who had the problem with spending time with one another.
I believe a husband and wife working together to accomplish something is the best way to grow together.
Boy did I need to hear this today...Thank you!
Dr. C. I was a Health Care Professional for 20 yrs. It led me to get help for my emotional disregulation, frustration and exhaustion from trying to deal with my alcoholic father, my crazy mother and my evil mother in law.
There was a program called CODA, then Alanon, and then a Therapist.
She was wonderful. She let me talk and voice my pain. At the time Narcissism never came up. It was in the early 2000. But she gave me a really good suggestion. She said you see the problem, now go home and do what you need to do. Set some boundaries for yourself. Best advice I ever got. And I did!
It was not pleasant for members of my family but it worked for me. My indifference became a problem for many, but saved my sanity. You are right, We have to do the work and it is hard, Narcissist can't, and want do the work. The term you have used is Teained incomptemptest . You just can't fix Stupid. Thank you!❤
In our lunch room at our clinic, someone put up a sign You Can't Fix Stupid. Even us professionals had to have a chuckle.
Sadly , it’s true. What a waste of potential. Thank you dr Carter ❤
Every couple of months I will come back and watch some of your videos and it's interesting hearing you talk about this because the person that messed with me psychologically a few years ago did a long period of grooming before really taking me too far in and honestly being a Christian I became more gullible to this type of behavior. But when it was all said and done and I finally was able to detach from him I had to start therapy to get back to normal.
I think I might be somewhere in there but I’m also a little confused and I’d rather just cut people off these days than stress myself out. Only problem is when I try to do that everybody wants to make me seem even more like a criminal for not speaking to them that often or hanging out with them but almost every time I try I feel they flip it on me and it’s always indirect statements or other things done they know I might feel a way about they’ll play on that. I could be sitting in a corner by myself and they’ll say things like nobody loves me out loud. Then when I don’t want to be bothered they call me anti social and say things like I know you don’t like dealing with people. It’s insane. I think I might have got caught up in it somewhere idk. I’m definitely more guarded and I really don’t like trying to form new relationships anymore. These days I just be wanting to be left alone most of the time.
Nicely described Les! Ty from all of us😊
I can say I need help and I am so grateful for you Dr Carter and all your support. God bless you for all the help you give us here on Team Healthy.
Thank you, Dr. Carter, and you're looking great!
Thank you kindly! I have to work at it!!
Again you are 💯💯💯💯 correct & reader’s comments also. Thank you very much ❤
Hello Dr Carter, a year ago I watched all your videos once I was discarded. Everyday was painful, my life was getting better but inside it was deep deep pain. I decided to go back to the narcissist even after being discarded so savagely. The narcissist said he wanted to marry and made me so many promises however things weren’t changing, we were still arguing and I was being left crying and isolated. However just 2 days ago, I called the narcissist and a women picked up the phone and now I am completely blocked and discarded all over again. How could I be such a fool. I feel hopeless lost. Confused, baffled. I can’t go without crying for a few hours. I don’t think I have the power to heal anymore, I already went through the healing stage for a year and that was so painful, now I have to heal again and I know I won’t be able to forget the distinct memory of that women’s voice picking up the phone and my heart sinking, thinking, this can’t be happening again. I think I am a lost cause, I’ll never truly move on from this (8 year relationship btw)
And I never truly healed, I never truly found happiness. Just my life was getting better like I graduated and I got a good job, but inside I was rotting. Dr Carter I’m telling you. I don’t know where to go on from here. I truly truly truly think I am ruined. Even 1 year from now I know I won’t be okay and that thought, is heartbreaking to me.
@@Saugasbiggestsav Hi. I am very sorry that you are feeling so very lost right now. Rejection is very hard, and even more so after an 8 year relationship. But, of course, you realize that this was not true love if he was able to treat you so heartlessly. Right now, the wound is still fresh. Give yourself a few days. Reach out and build some new friendships. (I know, "easier said than done".} Dr. C's formula of treating every person in your daily path with dignity, respect and civility really helped get me started in the right direction. Leave that heartless guy behind. As you said, you have made progress-- you have graduated and landed a good job. (For my part, I've finally decided I need to stop trying to justify why I should hate myself. Perhaps, happiness will follow.)
You're not a lost cause. Yes, you will have a "psychological limp," but these situations can become the catalyst for growth. Don't give up on yourself!!
That is so brilliant and insightful. Thank you, I feel as though I can face my day armed with more knowledge and understanding. I am a lifelong learner, in many ways I try to grow in a positive way.
This is a really good video, I can definitely confirm that I've seen this with a narcissist I know. Thanks!
Just before his death, Moses spoke to the Jews to remind them of God’s love and expectations:
See, I set before you today life and prosperity, death and destruction. For I command you today to love the Lord your God, to walk in obedience to him, and to keeps his commands, decrees, and laws; then you will live and increase, and the Lord your God will bless you. But if your heart turns away and you are not obedient, and if you are drawn away to bow down to other gods and worship them, I declare to you this day that you will certainly be destroyed. This day I call the heavens and the earth as witness against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may love the Lord your God, listen to his voice, and hold fast to him. For the Lord is your life, and he will give you many years in the land. Deuteronomy 30:15-20 (New International Version)
The Bible is packed with wisdom regarding our thoughts, behaviors, values, morals, and… narcissism.
Thank you Dr C. Your words are inspiring. My gratitude to you and team healthy
Thanks! Gratitude received.
I was just having a bit of an internal struggle on this subject with my elderly NarcMom. She seems mentally in a downward spiral and I'm trying to figure out how to intervene or even if I should. This video reminded me of why there really isn't much I can do other than handle the health and safety issues (lol mostly mine), notify the authorities as needed (notes re: situation on file with police) and I keep my cell phone handy: I document that she has food, clean conditions and also her behavioral outbursts. This was never how I envisioned being her caregiver but at this point, it's this and then off to Yoga Class.
🫂
All I would add is make sure she's not abusing the neighbors. My own narcissistic mother passed away last Nov. After a lifetime of coping with her as best I could, I found only in her death, the relief I sought.
Meanwhile I knew my next door neighbor to be a mean-spirited person. She is known for her dramatic, often vulgar, and always manipulative outbursts. Her own daughters have deserted her, even though I reach out to them about her behavior towards me. She throws her dogs poop in my hard, uses vulgar language at my guests, interrupts my back yard gatherings with dramatic outbursts for attention. After 60 years of dealing with my own narcissistic mother, now I have to deal with her.
So family who disown your narcissist....realize innocents neighbors get stuck dealing with their outbursts.
I personally am ready to get our state's dept of human services elder care authorities involved. I shouldn't be made to deal with the narcissist the family has left. Not my job.
@@Rut-vi7iz You make an excellent point but unfortunately, none of the neighbors believe me at first and it's only after she puts them through something that they wake up. I cannot control her behavior but I document and most likely either a medical social worker (if she's hospitalized) or someone from the state will be entrusted with her care. I'm committed to filing a criminal complaint if she hits me or destroys property as a way to try to get her help.
@anautisticsguidetotheunive4109 you have all my compassion. I wish the family next door had your outlook. I realize they can't control her, but they ignore the fact she is verbally abusing others now. I wish they would step up and say to her, "mom, either thus will stop or we will get proper authorities involved." It should be initiated by them.
@@Rut-vi7iz Lol as I read your comment I realized that ultimately, the only way to manage them is through bribery or blackmail.
Times get rough? I would opine that narcissistic collapse is indeed debilitating to the narcissist, covert, malignant, or otherwise. They have created an alternate reality and they are heavily invested in it. While they may present with delusional systems of thinking, this does not in and of itself qualify for a diagnosis of psychosis. Defense mechanisms require a great deal of energy from the psyche. Eventually, they run out of gas, especially as they age.
Many of them are a raging time bomb. Make one wonder if a high percentage of them cause most of the road rage incidents! They think the roads belng to them only.
In Texas, state your name, OK linda, be cool, can't wait for class, I'm always here, it's you folks, thanks for letting me have, relieve, especially a good natural feel good day, hey to the family, and staff, and letting us see Gus
Nail on the head again! Very confusing for me. On the outside you look like my father, on the inside you are explaining me narcissism and the narcissist he is. Thank you very much for giving support and inside in my journey!
Thanks I love hearing from you
Thanks for listening.
So true!
What happens if it really was someone else at the root cause of the problems? Then you can take this argument and apply it to someone who isn't Narcissistic. Because in some cases, the real Narcissists have everyone in their back pocket and make it impossible to do anything productive
Dr. C, I have 'collected' all your videos, and thank you for your wise counsel. But this one was thee ultimate 'lightbulb moment' for me. It is soooo on point. This one encompasses all the arguments they just cannot set aside. Brilliant.
Thanks! Very pleased it resonated so strongly.
Like the way you put forward our two sides. That really struck the right cord. I've never heard it described as such. It helps in understanding what is so baffling about the narcissist, as well as the flaws I know I have that the narcissist used to dominate and control me. And it also helped to clear the path for me to continue my own journey of personal growth. I'd been feeling discouraged because divorcing him at 75 years old (and 30+ years of marriage) has been extremely hard. You give me hope. Thank you.
Glad to be on the journey with you!
Dr. C, You hoping us being lead to steadiness was well said.
Thank you for having a good and knowledgeable heart.
Message received. ❤
(Some angry people take help and work on their unhealthy anger when they come to know that not all anger isn't healthy/unproductive obsession, isn't it🤔🤷♀️🙏🌷🕊💝🤗)
Thanks
Exactly what I needed to hear.
Enthusiasm optimism
Words used to define me by others
❤😂🎉
I'm continuing thriving growing and strong.
So strong boundaries that recognizes who wanted to destroy me, my happiness, my relationship with anyone who values me myself and I.
❤😂🎉
Dr. C.
Your the best
thank you for articulating the words that make sense to once a confused being.
When I'm told I'm the problem,
When I feel like a burden
I know my prescription is my reality.
❤😂🎉
My older sister is a malignant narcissist. She has been incredibly hateful and cruel to me. She and her daughters say I am too sensitive. And her daughters think I should just let what she does and says to me "roll off my back". Obviously they are narcissists too. I have stopped contact with my sister and her daughters so I can maintain my sanity. My sister has done everything from trying to sabotage a new job I had, to putting my pets in a dangerous situation because I didn't arrive home from work by the time she thought I should be home...she called me at work to tell me if anything went wrong with my brain stem surgery (a very rare surgery few docters can do) she would not be there to help me; it would be in God's hands..BTW, never asked for her help, and so much more. I could write a book on her evilness. I thank God that He gave me the strength to finally walk away. I definitely think narracisst are evil. What I have seen my sister do to others as well as to myself proves it without a doubt.
Your vids always give me a boost Dr Carter. I love them. Great work.
Glad you like them!
Agree about counselors helping and the rest of the video
Watching this channel has heightened my awareness ten fold on the people I interact with! I never had a name for the people so I can identify! Now I know it’s narcissism! I had a 70 year old friend! And she would tell me every other day she hated me or she was angry! She is real cowardly but I associated her cowardice to age” I ain’t got time for that “ i accepted that and understood that! But I started noticing she had a strong disdain for me because I was polar opposite of her! She plans nice but she will say” I’m a witch people don’t know that about me” I would always say” well I know you a witch” she would laugh and not call me for 3 months!
You don’t need to receive that. You deserve dignity, respect, and civility! #TeamHealthy
My mother always said “”we”” don’t go to psychologists, that’s not who “”we”” are.
I’m going to psychologists for 30 years and I never told her, I didn’t even dared to. She would never accept that….luckily she is not alive anymore ….but the grief stays
I hear you! Ditto. Even my golden child sister says she will not live until our mother passes. I agree. When she does pass, I may mourn over never having a ‘mom’ but that is all. There will be grief no matter what, but we can keep working through it. ❤️🕊
Thanks
Thank you!
So well said Les.. Thank you!
You are so welcome
Thank you so much so what about if you trying to get help from a toxic person omg I'm just trying to get on my feet but it's a problem with me trying to get a car these ppl are bananas what did I do I can't get a ride from a brother these ppl play mind games
This was very helpful, Thankyou
Glad it was helpful!
Thank you!
Ur the best Dr C and Gus the best boss ever!! I needed this today! Hi Team Healthy!! I really have come to the conclusion that narcissists like my bil and boss!!! It's always someone else fault.. they're living their own "truth" which is not reality! It's kinda sad if they weren't so darn mean. They have absolutely no capacity for love or self reflection and cannot take responsibility for their behavior...
Keep learning, Kittykat!
TY Dr. C. I appreciate you and your educational videos so very much. They have most certainly contributed to my healing journey. Many blessings always 💟☮
So pleased for you!
Hi Les. I hope you are OK too. I’m worried about your voice or if you are needing some rest to heal. I thought a way to save your voice a bit could be to edited the last part that you say that is the same each time onto the end rather than having to say it each time. You probably want to keep flowing along until the end and then say your last part, you have done it like that up to now but you could say your last rap up comment and then say here is some more information about what I offer and others offer, and then drop the next part in, people will listen. There are ways to save your voice a bit so you can rest it. Sending much love and thoughts, Andrea. PS high dose vit C, D, Quercetin and take zinc regularly. This will boost your immune system. Take good care. We love you and understand if you need rest at any point to heal.
Thank you and people like you. There are times when you need help and just don’t get it. Then there are times you really need help. There was a time years ago I could not even force myself to speak. There was a professional like yourself that was willing to reach out and reluctantly help me. Without that I am certain I would not be alive today.
💯 my husband 😢
Does he just treat me like this? Or people he thinks are below him? Will he treat his next lover like how he treated me?
Thank you Dr😊
Welcome!
How do you stop taking every criticism as an assault against your character?
I nearly quit TH for good over the past few days. I'm glad I didn't. Thank you, again, for such a helpful video. My biggest resolve (moving forward) will be to stop trying to justify self-hatred. I'm hopeful; I did pretty well with the "judge not lest ye be judged" approach. Although it took some time, it turned out to be pretty helpful. (I've found I'm pretty successful at stripping emotion from written conversation. Professionally, that s a good trait. I'm wondering what that means for me personally.)
This is so true. My ex narcissist actually told me he never went to therapy because he never felt he needed it.
He scheduled a session after I refused to be hoovered again, but I would bet my lifes savings he never went.
And if they DO go it is only to gain allies and convince the therapist that OUR reactions( to their nonsense) is the REAL problem...exhausting people
@@Suzu52 I had originally set up therapy as couples therapy.... But when he decided to discard me, I changed it to one on one. Then, while he was trying to hoover me, he decided he wanted to go with me to my sessions... And I said absolutely not.
@@Suzu52THIS ^^^ -- the therapists willing to be conned by the narcissist will turn on YOU and blame YOU for their shortcomings
He scheduled a session to bait you to hoover you back in. Even if he went to the session it's not going to accomplish much. It took decades for his narcissism to get to where it is and it's not going away after a few years of therapy. It would take at least 5 years of intensive behavioral therapy every 2 weeks for him to begin to change. Do you have another 5 years to waste to see if he'll change?
@@rwdchannel2901 Yes, I'm aware that's what he did.