Explaining Terminal Lucidity: The Rally
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- Опубліковано 5 вер 2024
- I'm back with something I get asked about all the time! THE RALLY! What is it? What is Terminal Lucidity? Why do people experience it? What is that famous rally that everyone always mentions! Let's talk about what Terminal Lucidity is and why it's such an interesting phenomena.
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My father passed away 2 weeks ago. He was 97 and in hospice for CHF. He had basically been nonresponsive and sleeping for days. Two days before he died he had about six hours, where he was completely lucid. Continually asked for food, asked for a bowl of ice cream and drank his nightly martini. Was laughing and joking and he was very much himself, and then two days later died after being unconscious for 48 hours...
My deepest thoughts and prayers for you and your family
So sorry. I lost my father in law to CHF in October and my dad in December from the same thing
Thank you for sharing. 🙏
Hi Kara
I’m sorry you lost your dad two weeks ago. I lost mine on the 25th April 2023, sounds like we lost our dads close to each other.
I hope you are coping ok xx
I’m glad your dad had the rally, it’s a memory you will treasure x
My dad passed two and a half weeks ago. He had dementia and actively dying for under 48 hours.
I stayed with him and held his hand - pushed a bed next to his (residential care). After midnight Monday night, his eyes opened and it was like seeing dads eyes from 20 years ago. There was connection and he looked deeply into my soul. He didn’t use his voice, but his eyes were alive - loving and telling me something - he just looked grateful. The rest of the time he was not aware of anything, unconscious or unresponsive. I don’t know it that was his rally. He didn’t talk but it was dads eyes before dementia- special, deep blue and full of love. I miss him but so grateful to spend his final two days with him. He was never alone. The last thing he heard was me saying I love you. Julies videos prepared me for those two days and I had NO fear, it’s not scary…. But it’s sad.
My BFF rallied, we went for a visit with her in the evening and about three hours after we left they called us to tell us she had gone. She was perfectly coherent and we went out to the patio etcetera etcetera, it was a gift in my opinion.
Wow sorry for ur loss
My father was in the hospice facility dying with bladder cancer. He was sleeping comfortably with his pain medication. He hadn't been awake for awhile and was expected to die soon. All the family was there and exhausted. So I said I would sit with Dad while they went out and had some dinner. While everyone was gone Dad woke up, sat up, asked for grill cheese and coffee for him and I. We ate, laughed, talked for over half an hour. Then he went back to sleep . The family returned and couldn't believe what I told them. He passed within the next two hours. I was blessed to have been there with him.
My dad did this 2 days before he died after being non verbal for several days in bed. Then he gets up and wanted to eat. He was talking with friends and family like normal even though he had Alzheimer's. It was truly a gift. I knew he was rallying.
5 days before my husband died of COPD, I invited two old friends to come see him. I warned them that he was fading and not to expect him to talk too much. We were all surprised that he was not only talking and animated, but laughing and having a great old time. The visit ended up lasting for 2 hours and we were all surprised at what a great time we had. The next day he was surprised that he wasn't particularly tired, and the day after that I came down with COVID. I called hospice to ask if they could admit him to their facility for respite care, but they didn't have room so they sent out his two nurses to evaluate him. I was unable to get out of bed I was feeling so crummy, and I could hear what sounded like a party going on out in the living room! The decision was made that he didn't need extra care because he was feelings fine. He even brought me crackers and ginger ale. Wednesday I was able to get out of bed and lay on the couch, but he barely got out of bed himself, and never ate anything. Thursday was more of the same, he didn't want to eat or get out of bed until the evening he got up and watched a little TV with me. Then he went to bed, I tucked him in, and that was the last time we spoke. After 19 years of helping him with COPD, I never had the chance to say goodbye!! But, I believe he died in peace. ❤
Sorry for your loss
He really did.
Rest in peace
Thank you for sharing. My heart goes out to you. But wow!!! I'm so happy he was able to pass in his sleep.
Sorry for your loss ❤ Your goodbye was tucking him in and being there for him at the end. ❤ I hope you recovered quickly and all is well.
We just went thru this with my momma who ‘transitioned’ the other day. I knew what it was when it happened, it was subtle, but it was nice. We talked about a book & some artists & writers we both liked. It was nice but sad too because shortly thereafter hospice increased her dose & she never spoke again. Funeral was today & we are all broken hearted.
My deepest thoughts and prayers for you and your family
One day you’ll be reunited and be able to talk about all those things 💜 ♾️
Thanks so much. I want to add that the hospice nurses were so wonderful, they told us what was happening every step of the way. They were pros but they were reassuring & lovely to us all. I think that Julie was among the most helpful of all. I have a great friend too who is a retired hospice nurse & she would either come by or check daily. All of you are extra special angels ❤️
(((HUGS))) ❤️🕊
My sincere condolences for your loss.
I've always thought this happening was like when a lightbulb always seems to burn a bit brighter just before it goes out.
Great analogy
Or a sun or star burning especially bright before burning up and vanishing forever...
My Granny did the "Rally" thing with my mom. Granny had been in the hospital for a week or two after having a major stroke. She was in her 80's and had already had several mini strokes. The Drs said she wasnt going to make it. Shed been in a coma since this one happened. All her kids had came to say their goodbyes, the day the drs said she wouldnt make it through the night. My mom couldnt get there til the next day. When mom went in, Granny sat up and told mom she loved her and gave her a hug and kiss, then laid back down and took her last breath. All Grannys kids said she was waiting for my mom to get there before she went to heaven. 😢❤️😢
My dad experienced the rally. He sat up in bed and started telling us his old fishing stories which we hadnt heard him do in a very long time. We got a beautiful picture of him. We took him home right after that and he died in a couple days at home. You are right... such precious memories.
Thank you for these videos. My father has had dementia for the last 10 years. The last 3 years he's been bed bound. In the last week my father has deteriorated. At first we thought he had a chest infection because he sounds so chesty and can not clear it. He has been sleeping all the time around 20hrs and not even waking up for when we clean him. He is cold to touch and has a low temperature. When he's awake he just stares at the wall. Today we were shocked as he's completely alert and eating and drinking. I felt he could be getting better. But now i know it could be the rally. I'm sitting next to him now while he sleeps watching your video and I feel I have a much better understanding of what may come next. Thank you🙏
My darling daddy passed away last night . I'm so grateful to have found your videos. These gave me the knowledge and strength I needed to be strong at the end and what could have been very scary was actually very calm and beautiful. We just kept telling him how much we love him❤
My dad was 82 very sick left in ambulance. Was in hospital, then nursing home for therapy didn’t improve stop eating did not do therapy. He was down to skin and bones. They sent him home hospice came. Took him off all his meds, except vitamins they left the emergency kit of morphine in fridge. He started eating improving, and lived to just short of his 94th birthday. Won the Little lotto. He passed in May 2020. In fact, he out lived my mom who was 10 years younger she passed in 2019. God is good, all of the time. Miracles happen ❤
♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️
Wow he lived12 more years? Maybe the meds and vitamins were making him sick. Glad you had your dad for more time.
which god?
We went through “ the calm before the storm “ with my mother. She was dying and all of a sudden, the day before her death, she sat down and ate a full spaghetti dinner with my family. When finished she gave me a kiss and told me that was the best Italian meal she ever had eaten. Ten hours later she passed away.❤🙏🏻
My brother is currently terminally I'll with lung and brain cancer. He is suffering daily but hanging on. He sleeps about 21 hours a day. His mental capacity is all but gone and he barely eats or drinks and he says he's ready to pass. It's so heart breaking watching this slow process. The best thing I could do as his brother is to come to peace with the situation and to make him as comfortable as possible! Hospice is great and they are holding my hand along this journey and they are also mentally supporting my wife and 3 years old as well. God bless everyone who works for Hospice!!
My dad was in a coma for 3 weeks, septic, liver failure, renal failure. He woke up, was talking normal, laughing, said he felt good and wanted to go home. I knew what was happening cause i saw my grandpa do the same thing. My dad died a few days later, just like my grandpa.
Yes. My Dad experienced the rally. He asked to leave the Hospice to go home and I remember him singing "On the Road Again" with glee as he was wheeled out to the car. That day, he insisted on sitting in a chair on the front porch. Neighbours assembled and also former neighbours who had travelled from out of state to see him. His former manager also paid a surprise visit and arrangements were made for him to see his former colleagues the next day. He was funny and very much alive all day, seeing first this person and then the next, and so on. Yes--and he ate and drank liquids as well.
Very late that evening, with me and my two siblings sleeping on the floor next to him, he transitioned. It was a surprise that he went so quickly, especially considering that he really wanted to see his work colleagues the next day. But I have to say that I'll remember that day and evening for the rest of my life. It was wonderful.
My cousin Joe died from colon cancer at 50 years old. Two months before he died, he was terribly ill, almost completely bedridden, and very feeble. Suddenly, a month before he died, he perked up…ALL THE WAY UP. He was driving and vacuuming (he thought that was fun), and eating, and singing, and dancing, and playing with his boys. We have videos of ALL of it. It was amazing and it went on for a whole month. Things changed very quickly after that…he went downhill in a heartbeat. The end spanned about 3 days. We got to have healthy Joe for a wonderful month…best rally ever!
My mother is was a teacher in hospice for 5 days. She experienced the Rally she sat up in her bed and greeted me by saying hay “baby how you’re doing?” I had just got off work. She looked bright and smiling . My mother died the next day. I was so glad to see her Rally.
Mom's rally was very short. I didn't know at the time it was a rally. I am so grateful for those couple hours with her. She wasn't scared, she was ready, and she was able to let us know that. Mother's Day on Sunday will be my first one without her.
My grandma has Dementia and had visited us last year from Mexico. When my family had gone out I stayed home and talked to her. It was mostly silent but she began talking about how life was when she was young. I began to record a voice memo and saved the 10 or so minutes of us talking. She’s in Mexico now but I’ll cherish the conversation we shared.
My father had this experience. What made it all the more amazing was he had been experiencing dementia in his last months (he died of vascular dementia). But the day before he died he regained lucidity and my mother and him spent the afternoon pleasantly discussing the highlights of their 47-year marriage. The hospice workers pulled her aside at one point to warn her what was going on. She accepted it and continued the conversation as pleasantly as before. I always felt sad that my mother didn't experience a rally when she died. But the afternoon she spent with my temporarily lucid father was a miraculous gift for all of us.
I had two pets who rallied. My beloved Labrador retriever was twelve years old and slowing down. He would only walk for a block or so before turning around to go home and his eating was off. Then one day we went for a walk and he was so determined to GO! Pulled me up and down hills, around the entire neighborhood for over a mile, so happy and energetic. I thought of course that he must have had some physical problem before but now was all better. Then two days later, he just laid down and didn't want to get back up; I had to carry him to the car for that last ride to the vet's.
In the other case, my cat, who was about fourteen, had been slowly aging and wasting away to almost skin and bones; we knew the time was short. But one day she really wanted to go outside into our fenced back yard and I let her. She literally frolicked in the grass---I can still picture her bounding around, boing! boing! boing! with sheer joy on that late September afternoon. The next day she crawled under the couch and took her last breaths. I am profoundly moved by these experiences---something was going on there; Someone granted these creatures one last day to do the things they loved the most.
My neighbor died back in April from a very rare form of lung cancer. He was only 30 years old and he left behind his wife and 3 young sons ages 5, 3 and 1. I'm an infant teacher in daycare and the wife's cousin's baby boy was in my class at the time so I occasionally got updates from them about how my neighbor was doing. The day before he passed away, he suddenly felt good and told his wife that he wanted to go to Cades Cove in TN. His cousin, the father of the baby in my class, and his wife's brother asked her if it would be ok if they took him to Pigeon Forge. His wife told them to let him do whatever he wanted. She knew he was near the end so she wasn't going to deny him the opportunity to do anything he wanted to do. So, they took him to Pigeon Forge. He apent the whole day there and thoroughly enjoyed himself. On the drive back home, he took a turn for the worse. They got him home and his wife checked his blood oxygen level and it was extremely low. She tried putting him on his oxygen but it didn't help. So, they called an ambulance and he went to the ER. Sadly, he passed away the next day surrounded by his family. His sons got to come to the hospital earlier that day to see him and have some time with him while he was still conscious and could interact with them and say goodbye. As sad as it was for him to pass away at such a young age and have to leave his wife and children behind, it was such a blessing that he got to go do something that he really wanted to do on his last good day.
My mother-in-law's brother "Uncle Jim" was a very kind man, deeply religious and very close to God was dying. He spent a couple of weeks in his death bed doing everything Nurse Julie talked about. He slept most of the time and wasn't eating or drinking and had hospice nurses attending to him. Once in a while we would see his lips moving which we assumed was him praying. Well one day, he woke up, got up and asked why everyone was in his house looking at him like that. He walked into the kitchen and put on coffee, like his normal routine was for many years. His "rally" lasted for a year! After that time passed, he died suddenly in his sleep. An interesting side story is when my first daughter was a few months old, I had gotten her vaccinations done and she was feverish and sick and constantly crying. Uncle Jim laid his hand on her head And said one of his silent prayers. within 5 minutes her Fever broke and she was back to normal. he was very close to God I miss him
You really helped me with my mom. We were all afraid, including her. But she was so happy when the doctors let her die at home. I wish I understood this when my dad died of leukemia. But he was stubborn and wanted NO doctor or nurse. It was so hard. I was up days at a time. Now, I'm dealing with my sibling wolves who never helped or visited. I'm being displaced by the family I helped. I would love to see your eyewitness accounts of family that become wolves. Thank you so much for all you do! Wish i had a friend like you but for now my little Bodhi cat is my pal!
Thank you so much for being here and there!!!
I’m a nurse and years ago when I worked in the hospital we had patients who did the rally. I called it the rise before the fall. Also when I would have a couple days off and come back, very often there would be several patients who died around the same time. We said the death angel had come.
My husband and I worked in long term care facilities. We called it the last hoo-rah. I had no clue this was a common phenomenon. ❤
My uncle did this. He died suddenly after a brief hospital stay for CHF (no one knew he even had it) and my cousin told me that my uncle sat up after being unconscious and told her everything he’d ever wanted to say. Told her she was the best daughter he could have had. He said his wife was his one and only true love, He gave her instructions on how to take care of his wife, the house, etc when he was gone. He said he felt bad for everything he had done wrong in life and made his peace. Then he never regained consciousness. She said that she felt her dad healed her heart that day.
:) early last week, my brother (he was in the transition stage) stayed up late with me, watching our favourite UA-cam channel for a few hours. It was brilliant. We were laughing and enjoying ourselves. It has been weeks since hes been able to stay out of bed for any significant length of time like this.
He passed away last Friday.
It was a privilege to share in his care, so he could pass at home.
I'm sorry for your loss, god bless your brother.
I'm so afraid of losing one of my own, but more afraid of seeing them gradually declining.
My friend's mom was dx'd with lung cancer and spent a year in the hospital with surgeries and experimental things... this was back in the early 90's. She suffered. She spent the last three months mainly in a coma from the pain meds. Family was taking shifts always having someone sit with her so she would never be alone. One day my friend and I came in after work for our turn and found Momma sitting up in bed eating a cheeseburger, joking around, and then smiled at us and asked us if we could give her a cig! She said that she was going home the next day. My friend asked the nurse about the situation and was told the doctors said they didn't know how she was awake as she was on the highest amount of morphine they could administer without causing death. But if she wanted to go home in the morning and still felt like it, she could do so. I told my friend that this was momma telling us goodbye and she needed to say everything she ever needed to say to her. She talked alone with her for several hours. I talked a while alone with her too. She told me to never smoke because the pain was excruciating even in a comma with all that medication. And she told me she had heard everything the family members had said about her or others when they thought she could not hear them. She wanted me to tell them that after she 'went home.'. And she thanked me for reading her newspaper to her in the evening. .... She went to her heavenly home the next day.
Mom passed recently. I was her sole caregiver until the last week when hospice was brought in to help. She passed on a Friday evening. She was sleeping a lot that entire week. Friday early morning around 2:30 am I needed to go to sleep for a few hours but was hesitant to leave her. I said to her, "Mom, I'm going upstairs to rest, if you need to go "home" you can go". Without opening her eyes she said, "but I don't know how to get there." I told her, "someone will show you the way." When I came back downstairs after a few hours rest she was sleeping. At some point she opened her eyes wide and sat up a bit. I stood by her side..she looked at me with a big smile, looked deep in my eyes and said "I love you.". I said it back to her with the same intensity and smile. The rest of the day she slept and just tried to breathe. My niece that she helped raise was holding her hand and we were just talking about old memories, laughing and treasuring the moment. She passed without waking again. It was so peaceful. That last I Love You keeps me going. I feel that was her rally.
I believe our last cat had this as she was experiencing kidney failure. We had an amazing couple hours with her and she got to enjoy a bowl of warm milk and was so warm and cuddly after she'd been sleepy and lethargic for awhile before.
My mum declined at the beginning of the year and she was put on palliative care. By March it was clear she was going to pass away soon. She spent most of the time sleeping. The last few times my sister and I saw her were so very difficult. As we said goodbye, just from that visit and not 'the final' goodbye, her face actually seemed to radiate with love and kindness and a 'glow'. She told us she was so lucky that she had two such lovely daughters and how lucky she was to have been blessed with having us. When back in the car I asked my sister if she felt mum was saying goodbye. My sister said yes, but nothing else. Two days later we got the call. My sister then told me she hadn't thought death was imminent as she went back to QLD. But I feel so fortunate to have had that experience because that glowing loving smile is what I remember.
My dad rallied two days before he died. He hadn’t been eating or getting out of bed for days. My daughter, his granddaughter, cooked dinner that night. I asked him if he would like to eat with us and he asked what we were having. I told him and he decided to get up and eat with us. He ate a huge meal and joked with my mom. He had us all laughing and I took a great funny picture of him at dinner that night. It was the last meal he ate. I am forever grateful for his rally. It was an awesome memory for my children to witness instead of just witnessing the sadness of losing their grandpa. We refer to it as his last hurrah! Love your stories and the education that you provide. It has been very important in our lives these past few years. Thank you.
@85 My Grandfather had been very ill for a month, he couldnt do anything on his own, I was helping take him to the toilet, to eat food, one day he woke up while i was a sleep and he was completely *Fine* he absolutely wore his clothes on his own, wore a hat, woke me up and asked me to take him to my cousins wedding, I was so surprised by this that i couldnt stop crying, seeing he was himself again was almost like a dream. He then slept again and never woke up.
I knew about the Rally. I work in a hospital and have seen it. But it is so different when it is your own parent. My mother lost the ability to swallow. She was failing mentally and physically for a few years before this. I signed the papers for palliative care and we proceeded as needed. One afternoon she just sat up and clearly asked for water and food. She said “ you know I have to eat to get better”. She was totally lucid and asked again for water. Calmly I left the room then ran to the nurses station crying “ I made a mistake signing the papers. She’s getting better.” The nurses said it was the rally. I didn’t believe it at first because she was the woman I hadn’t seen for years. So I did what we have always heard in the hospital. I went back and enjoyed those moments with my mother.
My Dad rallied before he died in April last year. The day he came home from hospital he was awake and engaged more than he had been for a while. He was chatty, joking and making plans to move rocks in the garden the following day. We had our Dad back for a few wonderful hours 😊 Despite his failing swallowing function and previous lack of appetite he had a big dinner of roast lamb and loved it. The next day he was lethargic and had no interest in food or drinks. He went to bed at 7pm and died around 2am. I knew what was happening though as we had seen it many years ago with a dog dying of cancer. It really does seem like a miraculous recovery. It’s such a blessing for everyone to have some wonderful moments together at the end. He was 89 and had CHF, COPD and kidney failure.
I experienced the rally with my mil. She was inpt hospice facility and had a great day. She was eating oranges and talking to us. We went back to their house and I shared to my fil how she was doing. He was so excited he was not in the best of health, but insisted on driving himself to go see her. It was the last good day she had and I am so happy that I told him how she was doing that day. I have learned so much from you. Now I know it was her rally. Thank you Julie. You are an angel. ❤❤❤
we were a group of young people and knew an elderly gentleman from a coffee house. we got the message that he was taken to the hospital and that he was doing very badly. so we went to visit him, he was lying in the waterbed but we couldn't believe what we saw. smooth, rosy skin, like a baby, in the best of moods, laughing from ear to ear. we could not understand that . the next day he went ahead. I've looked through Google many times to see if I can find anything about this phenomenon. now I got the explanation for it. Thank you Julie! you are such an enrichment to the topic as a whole!
Thank you soo much! I love educating people on hospice.
@@hospicenursejulie 👍🏼👋🏼
The hospice nurses said my uncle was really in control of his death, he was in a coma then suddenly the rally thing happened, the nurses asked him if they could anything for him, he requested a wash and orange juice - he had his wash and juice, then 20 mins later died peacefully. This really helped my aunty to deal with her loss. Thanks Nurse Julie for all that you do on here.
In the South, we say you are most alive right before you die. I believe that is actually terminal lucidity. I never knew that it had a name so thank you!
My nephew had been born and my mom hadn’t gone anywhere for a month cause she didn’t feel good. All of a sudden she had all this energy and went to see her newborn grandson. She was good for the rest of the week then died at the end of it.
It happened with an acquaintance when I worked at a very small insurance company. An insured who had terminal AIDS would come in to the office to visit. I didn't treat him any different than anyone else. He told me he liked to come in because I wasn't afraid of him. Last time I saw him, he was on a rally. He looked good, felt good. Talked about getting some dental work done. Then I saw his obit 3 or 4 days later.
That's so interesting that it happens!
Exactly as you’ve described happened to my Mum. She was awake, with a smile and alert so we called all the grandchildren to visit. This is the beautiful last memory ❤they have. The following day she went back as she was before.. grey, asleep, noisy breath. She passed later that day. My daughter’s birthday 🎂 she was born 5:08 am. My Mum passed 5:08 pm ❤
that's how it goes! wow! So glad you had a good memory!
I am retired from a long career in Emergency and critical care Veterinary Medicine. This too,happens in dogs and cats. Not every patient but I would speculate 1/3 of patients. Giving way to their disease process or trauma complications quickly, then suddenly up alert, eating,enjoying life as healty patients do before discharge. Their owners would come to take them home, and as they sat happily reuniting with their human family as we went over discharge instructions, they would go into sudden cardiopulmonary arrest. You learn after hundreds of patients that performing CPR is a disservice as they only waited to thank the humans who loved them before they moved on in their journey. The gift of closure. Still makes me tear up thinking about it. Animals die with a sort of dignity that always astonished me. They know. They aren't afraid. I've never seen fear in an animals eyes at death. Pain,yes. Fear, absolutely not. It has always given me a sense of comfort and one the greatest things I learned in my years. The fear of death is pathological because we believe our path leads to death.
Death of the body, but that started its countdown the minute we came into it. We leave who we were before that countdown.
Thank you for sharing this. We have a dog and two cats and we love them as much as we do our grandchildren! One cat is 16 years old and I know her remaining time is short. I will remember your words when her time comes - so thank you! 🙏🏻
@LDHBees oh you are so very welcome. I understand the love. I know many do not understand but they are as much family as family. True companions where humans can be, well.. conditional and even that is too generous for a statement for some "family ".
Death is a passage, a door that remains open until it's time to leave here. Animals do not capitalize off of the fear of it. They aren't corrupted by the gain from death so the value of its purpose is preserved in their accepting nature of it. They are born with the intuition of survival. They are still close enough to their nature to understand part of survival, is leaving. We are never far behind unless we identify with a temporary estate. Our Lord didn't die on the Cross. He was resurrected FROM death. The death that we wear. Bodies of the "unaware". We are known, by the Father,all of His creations-not just humans. No matter "where" we are or what we are "wearing", it is not who we are. Animals get it, never do they need a mirror to reflect who they are....or a map to understand where they are going.
We are in the world, not of it.
Animals are honest, they have much to teach as we have much to learn.
Bless you and all your tribe, in all of your eternal journeys.
My dad was dying from brain and lung cancer. When my sister showed up from across the country 8 months pregnant with his first grandchild, he totally rallied, and was so thrilled that he was perfectly normal and himself. He had been out of his mind previously for months, from the brain cancer, and recently comatose. It was shocking and wonderful! As soon as she left, he went back into the coma and died a few weeks later. It broke my heart, at 18, that I wasn't enough to 'keep him here', as I had been in the hospital with him every day. But he came to me in a dream after he passed, to help me through my grief. It was a miracle to me!
I had a patient who had Parkinson's. I had a feeling he would be dying soon because the last pneumonia infection was really bad. He had beaten it so many times. Anyway. He got through it, but his palor was deathly. I told my friend what I thought. Then, the next day, he wanted to do a Bible study with me and sing praise songs. I told my friend, Sharon, to make sure they spent some special moments together. They lay in bed just cuddling. They went to a park too. Then 3 days later he passed.
My husband actually experienced the really twice towards the end of his life.
We didnt know what it was at the time. Hed chokedon his meds a couple of days before. He fell asleep for about 3 days at rehab. They tested his lungs and found liquid in his lungs & was transfered back to the hospital for further treatment. His health declined and was not able to swollow without choking. Still he woke up talking non-stop for 24 hours asking everyone for water, talking to imaginary ppl on the ceiling and talking about deceased ppl wed known. He told me he was tired & wanted to go home with Jesus. The next day he started having difficulty breathing on his own. Now ai understand that he actually went through 2 rally's before going with Jesus. It was a very special time because he expressed to me all the things he had wanted to still do. He wanted to go out to eat with me and friends, he wanted to go play golf and wanted to go dancing with me.
💗💗💗💗💗
This happened to my husband 3 days before he died. I already knew that day that I would never forget this beautiful day. And that day there were so many visitors that got to see my husband as he used to be. I feel so blessed for getting this special day with him 💖💖💖
Hi Julie, you were such a tremendous help and comfort when my father was passing . I'm am so grateful to you. So yes, my dad did experience the rally. He was actively dying, but one day, he came to and wanted ice-cream. It was so great cause he was enjoying it and teasing me cause I was feeding him so quickly. A memory I will always remember. Thank you again for all you do.
My wife had a mini rally the day she died. She seemed pretty much unconscious for like 4 days. Her eyes and mouth were partially open all the time but she didn't move or talk or respond to anything at all. At 3 am on her last day I was watching her and suddenly her eyes started to flutter a little bit and then open. When she saw me she opened her eyes wide, moved her head slightly to look straight at me, and tried to move her mouth to talk but the strain was too much and I had to cradle her head and rest her back down onto the pillow. Then she went back unconscious. That gift was the last time she was conscious and I was there with her. Her heart stopped at about 5 pm that evening.
Hi Julie…I very much appreciate your channel. I lost both of my parents about 14 months apart a few years ago. I had never seen anyone pass before my dad (who went first from cancer) and when he rallied, it threw me for a loop. Lol! I had finally gotten my mom home around 2am to get some sleep and about 7am she shot out of bed and said we gotta get back to the hospital. When we got there, my dad was sitting up, eyes wide open and smiled when he saw my mom. I, of course, ran to the nurse desk and said “ it’s a miracle…he got better and he’s going to live right?” The ICU nurse explained and my dad passed later in the afternoon. My dad, in reality, was my stepfather but he raised me from the time I was 2 and this rally gave me the time I needed to say thank you for being my daddy. I told him I loved him so much and I finally got to say sorry for a few of those things I did as a teenager. I have the memory of him telling me he loved me like his flesh and blood. It’s one of my most cherished memories! ❤ I wasn’t so lucky when my momma passed but different circumstances there. Thank you for the explanation!
i know this might be a strange thing to comment, but my only experience with terminal lucidity was my childhood dog. he was dying of cancer and hadn't been eating or moving much at the end. then there came a day when suddenly it seemed like he was his old self again. he came downstairs for the first time in weeks, he was hungry, he ate with gusto. i was a teenager then, and i really thought maybe he was getting better. but the very next day he took a drastic turn for the worse, and he died just a couple days after.
what haunts me about it still was that when he was downstairs and acting more his old self, he tripped over his water bowl and i reflexively scolded him because... well, because i was an idiot and really thought things were back to normal. the guilt still eats me up when i think about it, years and years later. i literally can't tell the story without tearing up.
wherever you are, my beloved pup... I'm so sorry. i didn't know what was happening and i wish I had known so i could've been kinder to you that last time you came downstairs. i loved you so much.
I understand this love you had for your four legged friend. I don’t think they hold grudges. I’m sure when he closed his eyes from one place to the next, he could only remember good things and the love he had for you. I pray we get to see our furry friends in Heaven. But it really wouldn’t be as good a place without them, would it? So I have faith. ✌🏻🤍🤞
@@ViKee010 thanks for your lovely comment. made me tear up again, but in a good way 🥹
When my great grandpa was is hospice care, my family brought in a priest to bless him, he suddenly awoke and cursed the priest out for being there. He was unconscious for about 2 weeks or so prior. I didn’t see it but my mom told me about it. I like to think that was his terminal lucidity
Death is a funny thing, that something such as a grandmother being crotchety or even more extremes like mean/argumentative in that moment of terminal lucidity is seen as something beautiful that's cherished because for that final moment they're "there" and you get to have that final goodbye.
What a blessing for your mother to have it on Thanksgiving spending it with her mother.
I wish society could/would talk more openly and freely about death instead of letting the taboo / existential fear take control of something none of us will escape ourselves.
You doing these videos is amazing and the change they bring in getting people to talk about death is incredibly worthwhile, thank you.
My nana, this was 2010 got cancer again. Colon cancer, that spread to the rest of her body 😢 She was doing really poorly and was in care but the last 2 days of her life were magical. She was able to be conherent and move around and joke. It was great. I was only 13 so i thought this meant that she wasnt dying any longer. How wrong i was. The next day she was back at the hospital for the last time.
Now as an adult though im greatful for those few days of normalcy ❤❤❤
On April 20th my beautiful Mother-In-Love experienced the rally. She had been sleeping a lot and barely eating, however out of the blue on the 20th she sat up and called my husband "Johnny". This was her pet name for him and she started asking all kinds of questions. The immediate family had been there so everyone got a chance to tell her how much she was loved. I was so thankful for your videos and took advantage of the 2 days we had. She passed away on the 22nd very peacfully with family surrounding her. I wish I had known about this when my mom was dying, the hospital did not explain any of this and her passing was not easy.😢
aw i'm sorry to hear that... totally get it!! I'm glad it was peaceful!!
@@hospicenursejulie Thank you.😊 It was a relief to not feel the uncertainty, fear, anxiety or helplessness at what was the best outcome possible. Your video's should be required viewing in Nursing schools. PS: One of my twin nieces had her pinning ceremony yesterday and she graduated today as a RN😊 and my other niece is going to get her doctorate in pediatric audiology. Done bragging😂
My mother-in-law rallied after being diagnosed with glioblastoma only fourteen weeks before and decided that she wanted a cigarette. She had stopped smoking many years before and after taking just one puff said “that’s disgusting!” We still laugh about that. Unfortunately my wife, father-in-law, brother-in-law weren’t able to enjoy the full rally because they were dealing with totally unnecessary family related drama prior to it. They were able have some quality time her, which meant the world to them. Thank you Julie for what you do!
Just to set the record straight, I neglected to include my sister-in-law in having to deal with the drama. I also should mention that our hospice care providers were awesome!
Thaaaank you so much! I appreciate that.
My Mother did experience the rally while she was transitioning unbeknownst to me at the time. After sleeping most of the time and barely eating, and drinking. She woke up one day and asked, “When do I get to eat?” This only lasted a day before she went back into deep slumber. She passed about a week later. I wish I knew at the time that she was rallying that day. I just thought she was on a turn to getting better. Thank you, Nurse Julie for educating on death, and dying. Your knowledge helped me through a very difficult time watching my mother die.
I had a grandma like that ❤, every time anyone would ask her how she felt she would say "with my fingers" or curse at them... I really miss her
Just experienced that with my dad...I even told a friend that I was wondering if my dad was going thru that phase...because everything was so perfect...20 minutes after I told my friend that..well I got the call and I knew it... beautiful experience..amazing blessing...dad was 88
Such informative videos are so important, because this penomenon can be cruel to those who don't know about it. My father had a heart attack. First he was in a state where his thinking wasn't clear, his speech slurred. Then he got to this "Rally". He got up, joked with the nurses, was happy for the good food. We were so hopeful that all be well. Then he died that night.
I don't know if this is the rally, but my grandpa had had strokes before passing. The night he died, my mom witnessed him lift one arm, the arm that was affected by the stoke, and his fingers all made a slight motion of raising and lowering one by one as if to wave goodbye. And then he was gone. I will never forget that story.
My 89 y.o. mom is in hospice now. I'm her caregiver. I am learning a lot from you. Thank you. ❤
My parents did not let me be present for any of my grandparents’ passing but because I’d studied a little bit about how it worked I was able to recognize the signs when they would tell me what was going on. And it was enough to know that when my grandma suddenly became lucid after a lot of bad decline, that I needed to say my goodbyes when we did that last phone call. I thanked her for how she’d loved me growing up. But last…I promise this will be relevant. She loved the first cat my family had when I was growing up. That cat had been gone many years, and I asked her to please give that cat belly rubs and take good care of her for me when she saw her. I said that because I wanted her to know it was OK for her to go even though I hadn’t been able to travel. ❤
This just happened with our brother was fully unconscious for a few hours, we were with him in his room, crying etc... some time went by and I realized we needed to cover his legs with blanket...all of a sudden he came to and it FREAKED ME OUT!!! Not sure how much time he has left, he's back to sleep after taking his pain meds, but that was absolutely awesome, in the midst of such sadness. Oy this is so hard
Thank you so much, Julie! I went thru this with my Dad five years ago, and today with my Mom who is in hospice. Mom hasn’t been conscious for two weeks but suddenly was speaking clearly to me today, even asking questions about her treatment! Such an odd thing, but I so enjoyed chatting with her. I appreciate your channel 💖
Yes, experienced it with my dad. All of his systems had shut down and they had him on morphine, intubated him, filtering his blood, etc after two big heart attacks in 2 weeks. The night before he died he wanted to get up to go to the toilet (he could not because if machines). He wanted to eat ice, he could not. He asked us to bring his glasses and Walkman the next day. When we arrived the next day, he had already died that morning. But his energy was back briefly!
♥️♥️♥️♥️
I remember when our good family friend was in the hospital after a bad fall. She was 92. During her rally she got up and shaved and was very lucid. It was like she was back to normal. I said to my grandpa that I was so happy she was doing well. My grandpa knew what was going on and said, "yeah, ehhhh. This is the calm before the storm," 3 days later she died.
Thank you for sharing this! My grandma had a rally and this has brought up a great memory of visiting her during this time with the whole family. It was truly a treat and a blessing. At the time I had no idea what it was and was sad to see her leave shortly after. She had complications with a hernia surgery and this all happened over a week’s time with her as an inpatient.
I’m not sure if this was the rally or not because it doesn’t perfectly fit the description. But, my father-in-law was dying of cancer. We went to see him over Labor Day weekend and, at first glance, I thought we may possibly lose him that day. His color was bad, he was sleepy and weak. Everything seemed wrong. The next day, he was at the kitchen table playing cards with us and joking. He was a subdued version of his healthy self, but he was much, much better than the day before. The day after cards, he was back to being really bad. He died 8 days later. Can someone rally that long before they actually die? That game of cards was a true gift and our family will remember it forever. Thank you for all your info, Julie. I found you after that weekend, and your videos helped me understand what he was experiencing as the days went on and I felt less worried about him suffering because I knew he wasn’t.
I worked in the PT dept at a rehab center that dealt with acute and chronic patients. The nurses in the long-term wing called the rally "the last hurrah" and would often call in family members to be with the patient, enjoy their company and say their last goodbyes in this period of lucidity.
I missed my mom's rally, where she was sitting up, eating, talking and laughing...by one day. You see, I had to fly from Austria to the States and was lucky to be able to catch a flight on very short term notice.
Mom somehow hung in there long enough to say "Ohhh, hellooo!" in an almost imperceptible voice as I gave her a hug. I know she held on to say goodbye to me before slipping into a coma where, after 4 days, she passed away peacefully.
I'm a long term care nurse of 35 years, now retired. I've seen the rally many times, and the day before my grandpa died, he had a strong rally. Visiting with the family. It was a very good experience. He knew the end was near. It helped all of us accept his passing. I was hoping my dad would have rallied at the end, but it wasn't meant to be. He simply passed very quietly and peacefully.
Thank you Julie for your service and videos which I just found recently. My mom started declining on Thursday and got up for her hospice visit on Friday shocking us all back to declining on Saturday and passing on Sunday. Thank you for your videos because my daughter and I were able to see her one last time due to you explaining the end of life process 🙏🏽❤️ thank you 🙏🏽
My dad had the rally 4 days before he passed. And he kept telling me Thank you and have more of a conversation than before and after but pass away 4 days later
My grandma died of ovarian cancer 17 years ago. She was only 60 and I was 10 but she had this stare/reach/rally combination that was so incredible that it is still my most vivid childhood memory. She had been actively dying for about 24 hours and suddenly her eyes went wide open and she sat up. I was 10 so for a moment I thought God had answered my prayers and was making my grandma better… but then I noticed her eyes were fixed on one spot on the ceiling. She was reaching towards that same spot and suddenly started to stand up while crying “dad!” over and over. For a moment my mom and aunt thought she was trying to say “go get your dad” (as in my grandpa who is still alive)… but I just instantly knew that’s not what was going on. Her father had died when she was 12 years old, leaving her with an abusive mother, and I had never seen such a look of surprise and emotion on her face. And even though her voice was very weak, I could still tell by the sound of her cries that she was so overcome by emotion. So my grandpa ran over, and he and my mom held her while she stood up. As soon as she was fully standing and her arm was fully extended, every single muscle in her face and body just relaxed. 48 years after her father died, he came back to take her home. My nana was (and still is) my best friend. By the time I arrived at her house she was already actively dying so I didn’t get the chance to hear her speak to me in person one last time… and while that made me sad, I felt very comforted knowing her dad came to get her so she wouldn’t have to leave this world alone. Because she REALLY, REALLY did not want to leave us yet. Idk if the afterlife is real or if our brains give us these fantastic visions to ease our fear, but I hope she comes to get me when it’s my time. I’m 27 now and I still miss her so much.
My best friend rallied a couple days before she died. It really confused me, because she had just spent days lying in bed, looking unconscious, but struggling for every little breath. Then one day, she was sitting up, breathing OK, and holding conversations with several friends that visited her that day. It was a blessing.
I’ve just commented on one of your more recent videos about the rally my Mum went through, it was a sacred day that I got to laugh and cry with my Mum before she passed the next day, it was a shock a welcome one but it has never left me and it’s been 10years when my dad passed he had a massive heart attack and there was no rally no warning nothing, I am on the fence about what one is nicer to die from as a long drawn out natural death is hard on the family and the person passing. Yet total shock of loosing someone without ever saying goodby is so hard to. It’s such a personal thing to the person and there families I’m just glad your taking the time to do all these videos, as some find death talk hard as they are ignorant about what happens and it could make the difference of them saying goodbye. I’ve lost all my family now for each I went to view them to say goodbye, and it’s been hard not to recall the images of them in their coffins ⚰️ sometimes it’s best to just remember the good days.
My Grandma had been in assisted living for a couple of years. When covid started, she seemed to go downhill quickly. I don't even know what she died from. (not from covid) My Mom and Aunts and Uncle had to put her in a nursing home. They couldn't visit with her in her last days, but the awesome nurses kept them informed. 2 days before she died, she called my Mom remembering her phone number, but thought I had answered the phone and she had a long conversation with my mom. (thinking it was me) My Mom felt so hurt that she didn't realize that she was talking with her. It made me feel better because in my heart, the couple of days before things started closing, I had this strong feeling that I should go see her. I kind of blew it off because I hadn't been feeling great. I didn't actually think things were going to get shut down. I have still continued feeling so guilty for not going to see her before. So I'm thankful that my Mom just pretended to act like me, so that maybe she knew that I had been able to see her. My Mom and Uncle were able to sneak in to see her, with the nurses' help, to say a quick goodbye. They had my aunt's zoom in so they could all be there. Then she died an hour later. She lived to be 97 healthy years old.
Wowww. Thank you for sharing that! I love hearing these stories..
My grandma died at age 93, but she did experience the rally, she was not doing well (actively dying), then when my mom came up to see her due to the bad prognosis, she did rally. She was eating, discussing old memories to my mom and was very lucid. Sad thing by the time I flew up to see my grandma, the rally was over and she was screaming at us all and halluciations. Unfortunately she passed away two days shy of thanksgiving 2019. After her little rally, she lived about 4-5 days.
You always explain things so perfectly! Thank you Julie!!
Thank you 💗💗💗
My Mom died in Oct. 20/23. I was with her in Hospice and she suddenly opened her eyes and smiled, gave a small chuckle, and clearly heard me and understood me for a very short time, and then fell into a deep sleep and passed away a couple of hours later. And to all Hospice personnel, I thank you for your care, and your kindness. Mom's last days were comfortable and pleasant for her and for me too.
My 90 year old Dad passed away in January. He was in hospice care in a SNF. He did not have a rally. He stopped eating, slept and went unconscious and died the next day. He is at peace now.
Same with my dad. No rally but I wasn't expecting one. He was 90 also...... had Parkinson's. They are both at peace now......
@@kat35lulu88 Sorry for your loss.
I'm sooo sorry to hear that :(. Thank you for sharing.
@@hospicenursejulie I like to think our dads are having a big time in Heaven together!!!!
My mom woke from her hospital bed all of a sudden..in living room... after sleeping 2 days straight... to make sure we made manicotti for my brother who flew home from Alberta😂. She couldn't see us making it but still yelled "You're doing it wrong"❤
My mom had Alzheimer's and was far gone. My dad was caregiver but she didn't believe he was him and would say her husband had died. But one evening she was back and he said they had a great time and talked about everything. Then she was gone again, and lived quite a while after, maybe a year or more. She lived for about 4 years with bad dementia. She stayed alive in bad shape for him, though, he wouldn't let go, I think it was a soul contract. Hospice said with anybody else they would say she was dying some number of times, but with squirting Ensure into her mouth and shouting Swallow! Swallow!, and using a suction if she didn't, he kept her going instead. It was what they needed to do, but it made me want to let go and die long before those kinds of things. And before what he went through in nursing care til he was 101! Though it was very good care!
I witnessed this with my mom. She was in hospice and unconscious for most of the time. Then, a few days before she died, she wanted to sit up and go outside and look around and we were just blown away, but they had told us that that was normal at her stage. Wow! Thank you for sharing your experiences!😊
Love your educational videos. I believe my mom had the rally, she was very ill with cancer in a rehabilitation home, I went to visit her, we washed her hair, I took her for a walk in her wheelchair outside, she was very happy, when I left she was doing a lil dance in her bed, just a few hours later she passed away 😢. I will never forget that last evening!
My dad died when I was a child..I wasn’t there as he was treated in another country but my mom did tell me that he was awake few days before and talking to my uncles after having been in a coma… breaks my heart.
My mom died last May. She had a slight moment of lucidity and then 24 hours later she would be gone.
My mom and my wife never really saw eye-to-eye (Classic Mother/Daughter-in-law struggle) but during mom's rally, we asked her where she was. She said she was in heaven and began to list off all of the relatives and friends who preceded her. She was smiling.
Then she said "Scott, you have a wonderful wife. You did good. Hang on to her".
It was the best gift we could ever receive. She smiled, hugged us both, then quietly, slowly, slipped away.
We figure she was in stage 4 dementia. Life was getting hard for her and she fell a lot. It was her last fall that shattered her hips, with no chance of surgery.
We experienced the rally with the death of my dad. He had been sleeping, not eating, and not communicating for a couple of days just sitting in his chair sleeping. The family was sitting in the living room with him when he suddenly popped up in his chair looked at my mother, his wife of 65 years and said. "Fran I love you! ". He laid back do in the chair and never spoke again. The next day I got him out of bed. put him in the wheelchair to transport him to his chair. He immediately had a Grand Mal seizure. I put him in his chair after the seizure. At 1 pm hospice came to start care, they stated he had about a week to live and gave him something to lower his fever under his tongue. I then had to leave for work, at 4:45 pm my brother called and informed me he had passed away. He was 86.
Yes Julie I have experienced"The Rally" twice. The first one was my sister. She and her husband had gone on a cross country trip ending on a cruise. This was something she had on her bucket list. She had a brain tumor however the radiation got rid of it. She had side effects from the radiation that put her back in the hospital. She had the surgery and was sent home the next day. My family and I talked to her the day she came home from the hospital and she said she felt great considering what she had been through. She was in good spirits. She said she was tired and wanted to take a nap so I told her I would talk to her the next day. We both said I love you and we'll talk tomorrow. I got a phone call around 9:00am the next morning from my daughter telling me my sister passed away the night before in her sleep. So, so shocking Julie so unexpected. This was back in late October of 2021 and I still can't believe she is gone. She was getting better. She said she hadn't felt this good in years. The second time was March of this year. My ex-husband husband of 20 years was taken to the hospital because he had fallen and hit his head. He was in the hospital for nearly a month, but was doing very well because he was going to leave the hospital the morning he died. My daughter had been visiting him every day and abou
My Mom had her Rally and I totally cherished it❤❤
We are so miss and under informed I wish I knew this 15 years ago so I cold have enjoyed my mama but at least now I know how to help others going forward thank you so much for taking the opportunity to share this info ❤
My grandpa was so sick with cancer having difficulty being out of bed at the medical home he was in. Dec 24 he couldn’t eat or anything. Dec 26 he was calling us to come see him soon up talking eating sitting up asked me to eat with him (which I declined and regret it daily) Then Dec 27 we got a call to come because he was in the final stages he passed at 1:11 am on Dec 28.
I understand death, I’ve helped loved ones transition, but dang it, I just can’t deal with the finality of it. I don’t want to have to go through the rest of my life without them! 😢
my mother was in hospice and It was 3 am and mom woke up after three days of sleeping craving fruit salad so i had to take a taxi to the casino and i explained to the chef about her situation and the chef said no charge made a salad for my mother , what an amazing angel i got back and my mom asked me what took so long i told her where i had to go and get the salad from she said thank you my baby and i just smiled and she ate her salad she had a few bites and kissed me and said i love you my boy i was 38 her baby boy still and the day after that she passed away with her family and friends all beside her i will cherish the time went had alone together that night.
Ha! I was thinking of Mark Sloane too. That was the first time I heard of the rally.
My grandmother, my mom's mother, back in 1977, had been in our local hospital on her death bed, but then one day, just like you have said here, she was very much awake & talking to us. I think this went on for a day or so, as this was when I was 20 yrs old and was in the US Army, and it was about April of 1977; my grandfather lived till the day before Christmas, also in 1977.
My great aunt was in the hospital with end stage lung cancer. They called the family to come say good bye as she was going down fast. When we all got there, she was breathing very shallow, almost like agonal breaths. Everyone said their goodbyes and were just sitting with her. She had not acknowledged anyone at that time. Her Doctor came into the room and spoke her name very quietly. My great aunt looked up and said, "hey doc". We all stared at her in amazement. My other great aunt said "did you not hear us all talking to you?" The aunt in the hospital said that she did hear us but and I quote" none of you are as pretty as my doc" This was a totally typical type of response from her. The family all just looked at her and started to talk to her normally. I was called 3 days later and told she had passed.
My dad had a rally. Didn’t understand at the time but I do now. Thankyou
Yep. It was so confusing when I was 15 and my mother (I am 71 now) and was so confused when it happened. Second time around, my Dad, he was the same way. My family was sure Dad was getting better, but his Hospice nurse explained it, so the end was not so surprising. Hospice and Hospice nurses
are such blessings.
My aunt had this and so did my mother.
My grandmother woke up from being unconscious for some days. Had the rally and died later that afternoon. In your opinion, should you discuss this possibly being the rally with your loved one or just pretend they are getting better. Obviously, only in the right circumstances when someone has been terminal etc. I’m Germany we have a saying: The dead said (those said to be dying) live longer. As in people you think may die often surprise us and carry on for years, so definitely would not want to discuss someone’s rally if they are not actively dying. Thank you for educating us. It really is helping me work through some issues we are going through as a family.