When my younger brother was dying I was with him and held his hand to the end. He was an artist and I told him that the universe was now his new canvas. When he saw the bright light I told him to go into it as it would be his new art studio and he would feel more love than he’s ever felt here on earth. A few minutes later I leaned in close he was looking into my eyes and I said go paint me a miracle Little brother. He passed away immediately took his last breath, I’ve seen the most beautiful sunsets I’ve ever seen since his passing.
Rebecca, what a beautiful soul you are, and what a blessing you were for your brother!! May all the beautiful memories of your time with your brother sustain you, and help your heart heal. Thank you for sharing your experience. 🌹
You offered such a beautiful response to this video. And you have suggested a wonderful way of dealing with a loved one's dying experience. I almost feel like you sent this to me because I am currently in the exact same situation.
Bless you. I am my mother's full time caretaker. I will be there for her like you were for yours. Man, I just cried so hard.. I wish you the best. 🙏✌️🌼
As a daughter you gave your mother the love and care at a scary time in life. I stayed with my dad for 3 weeks. Especially his last week I didn't want him to pass away alone. To me this was very important 💞
I was with my mom and my dad when they took their last breath. It was heartbreaking, but I needed to be there. They were there when I took my first breath and I was there when they took their last. 💕
When my Mother was in the final stages of her process she had been unconscious for 3 days. I went and sat by her and held her hand. I told her I'd love her forever and thanked her for all the beautiful clothes she made for me, thanked her for the beautiful garden to play in, thanked her for everything I could think of and said I was sorry for ever hurting her and causing her any pain. I prayed over her and then I felt it was getting closer to her leaving so I played my guitar and sang a song for her. I used to always take my guitar to visit her, I'd sing all my songs that she loved and even in dementia when she didn't know me the music would make her come alive and smile, she'd look ten times younger! So naturally when I knew her passing was close, the first thing I did when I went to see her, was to grab my guitar. My sister had come into the room at that time..I was singing to her and also saying (while I kept playing my guitar) it's OK, it's OK, and kept singing..her breathing slowed for a couple of breaths then her chin moved and she tried to say something to us, then her last breath left her body and she was quiet..I kept playing and singing because thats what I wanted to be the last thing she'd hear before going, just peaceful music..I stayed for a couple of hours with her and kept talking to her and telling her I loved her..then kissed her forehead to say goodbye. I wasn't crying, I wasn't upset because I know she had a peaceful end of life. So when I think of that day and that few hours I know she knew I was there and that she went knowing she was loved ❤🙏❤
I also played guitar for my dad, about five days before he began his transition. He was still able to clap (barely) and tears welled up in his eyes. He was also a musician and brought me into a lifetime of music as well. The last tune I played..."Somewhere over the rainbow".... I love you, Pop. Born 12/17/1937. Died 4/30/2022. Never gone from my heart and now in heaven with his band mates.
This gentleman speaking is just an angel… his demeanor is so gentle, his voice so soft filled with love, understanding & empathy. What a gem he is… Bless you, sweet man! 💕
I felt the same way listening to him speak and I Love how he said that God is calling them home🕊️ I've cried so much hearing his word's and knowing my mom didn't suffer during her last Days and hour's and it's true she was very calm mostly sleeping in peace and that's how she passed away she just gently stopped breathing and then she left me 💔 words can not even begin to express how I feel the pain in my heart is just something I can't even begin to explain because it just hurts so much I loved her dearly I cared for her ever since my father passed away in 1992 I brought her to live with me so she wouldn't feel alone ever again she was 94yrs Old then congestive heart failure came along a few months ago and that's what took her from me😢 God bless this Dr and all the Dr and nurses that care for our loved one's and do their everything to try to make them healthy again.
As a Nurse, EMT, many people pass before my eyes. My Mother did not believe in Heaven to my surprise. During her passing, she said she saw her Mother and sister calling her to join them. A few last words, she whispered the flowers were so beautiful, she at last had no pain. She left with a beautiful smile and reached up and drifted away. Do not fear, she finally let that fear go. Love you, Mom, see you one day.
@@cherylcain890 Yes, but my question was, would you be less comfortable if he were not a Christian? Personally, it wouldn't matter, as long as he was as kind, gentle, and compassionate as this doctor 🕉🕎☯️✝️☪️☮⚛☦
Today marks 22 yrs since I lost my Mom. She have a brain stem stroke, so, she seemed to be asleep, but was brain dead. We brought her home, and hospice helped to care for her, at the end. She had no pain. But, she also had no movement, no speech, no sign she was in there. At her last moments, I had been holding her hand. For some reason, I let her hand go, and she reached up towards the ceiling arms outstretched, like a child waiting to be picked up. If I hadn’t seen it, I wouldn’t believe it. She was welcomed home by her parents, and God. I believe there is more in our next life. ❤️ I miss you, Mom.
I agree. Many people do that before they die. I've been told that they'r communicating with loved ones who have died before them. My mom's been. gone for 22 years too.1999.I miss her too.
Fayth Klauka,my mom was in hospice during the final month of her life. On the day she passed, she lay in bed and with outstretched arms, cried out "Help me,God. Help me,God". She was ready, finally, to let go of her pain and leave this world. Until again,Mom. You are loved and missed.
I am on hospice with COPD, I believe I am fairly approaching the end. Have some very scary moments off and on. One thing that has really got my attention is not being able to do the simple things we were never even aware that we needed strength and energy to do. Like putting your clothes on or walking across the room. Seems like sometimes even just thinking can actually tire me out. I relish visits from my family, it's a better feeling than any drug can provide. Night arethe worst, I am fortunate to have a loving wife who stays by my side.
May the lord be with you and help you recover from what ever is with you.. sickness and death is two different things therefore may you recover all your health and strength🙏
God is unconditional love and I know how peaceful and beautiful the next life is. I had the blessing to be there for a short time during childbirth surgery 44 years ago. Amazingly freeing. God be with you.
I cared for my husband 9 years after his stroke, then after his covid vaccine he never recovered so I got him home for 11 days end of life, after watching this which I’d seen at the time, I found I did everything to make my husbands passing more gentle and calming, we had music he liked, singing songs he liked, I talked about lots of memories of holidays our wedding etc, I gave him permission to go. This interview has eased my mind that I did the right things and allowed him to go peacefully with love. Now the hard work starts for me I’m 3 month in and I’m heartbroken 💔 but to honour his memory I will live again.
My friend and I braved rain and floods to drive from Batesville to Little Rock, AR to be with a dying friend in Hospice. As we entered the room our friend had tears in her eyes. We stood there by Kay’s bed and stared at her and one tear rolled down her face and she died. It was an intensely spiritual moment, she held on to die in the presence of her friends.
Hello Patti, how are you?I’m glad to come across your profile.. i couldn’t resist not to open your profile after reading your comment, immediately i did my heart stopped after seeing you.. I know this is improper and I’m so sorry to infringe on your privacy, forgive me...please do you care for a chat?
Even when people are considered brain dead and their body is on life support just to keep them breathing, you may think they can no longer hear what is going on around them; I can attest to the fact that I know they do hear and can recognize family members' voices and touch. My mother died in 1995, just one month short of her 69th birthday in the hospital. Even in a coma, I know my mother was able to hear and understand when I was talking to her or feel my touch when I stroked her or kissed her hand or cheek. Before she died, I gently brushed her hair and her teeth for her because I knew how much these things meant to her. I know she knew it was me helping her. She knew it was me because her restlessness ceased upon my arriving at the hospital and she became calm and breathed more evenly than when the nurses, aides or doctors interacted with her. During that last day I had with her, I spoke to her about how much I loved her and appreciated all she had done for me and thanked her for giving birth to me and being there for my first breath. I told her I did not want her to go but that I was so glad I had the privilege of being there for her in her last breath. About an hour or so before she died, she was gasping in that "death rattle" and it was so painful for me to hear her; the nurses assured me she was in no pain. I told her it was okay to let go and that her mom and grandparents and everyone were waiting for her and that one day, she would be there, waiting for me when my time to pass happened. I know she heard me say that because I saw tears run down her cheeks. I KNOW SHE HEARD ME; that comforted her, and it comforted me. She died knowing her daughter was beside her, holding her hands and knowing that I loved her so very much. I was so blessed to be her daughter. I am almost 74 years old now and I know for a fact that when it is my time to die, my mother and all my deceased family will be waiting for me, right behind GOD.
I worked in palliative care for 7 years and it was the most heartbreaking, yet rewarding job I have ever done. I loved all my residents and would sit for hours holding their hands, staff would make sure someone was always with them so they would never be alone. What an honour to be present in this sacred time🙏
You are an angel!! It takes very special people to do the work you have done and I know you are appreciated by not only the family and loved ones, but also by the one making their journey into eternity. To have that love in your heart to care so deeply for people you've never known is a rare quality that few are blessed with. It's a gift and thank God you have used it. ❤❤❤
I too have been a palliative care volunteer for some 20 yr. I have sat with so many people when they passed ( I usually sat with them through the night ). I also stayed with both my parents and my brother as they passed...an immense privilege and healing process. I remember my dad smiling and saying 'the boys were waiting'....they were his 4 brothers who had already passed.
I hear stories, from a hospice chaplain or from friends or a pastor, about how some people just seem to need to be alone when they die. My own mother had a brain tumor and was unable to communicate, but she seemed to hang on until everyone in the family had a chance to say goodbye and then waited till we left to finally let go. It seemed like she instinctively felt a need to be present for us, and then when she was finally alone, she could just go. A priest friend said that in his experience, that’s not uncommon.
Thank you so much for asking/talking about opioid medications. My uncle was denied pain control despite crushed vertebrae. He was in agony for weeks. They said, I wish I made this up, they said they didn't want him to become addicted. A 78-year-old man with end stage spinal cancer was going to become an addict. Our entire country has been so programmed to fear pain treatment that a man lived in agony to death instead of dying in peace.
Sharienne W. I agree, people need to talk about the demonization of opoids and the needless pain and suffering they have condemned the world to endure. My beloved friend Karen died on August 15, 2021 after suffering from non-stop agonizing pain as a result of end stage cancer. They denied her Hydrocodone for the same reason you mentioned and because, "They didn't want to hurt her." That is the most cruel and evil thing anyone can do to someone in horrible pain. She had to endure that pain for 3 months before cancer ate her alive until she died. This pain and suffering is the norm now, I know of many people, including myself, that have serious chronic pain and cannot get the safest pain medication, Hydrocodone. They had no problem prescribing me 2 drugs for pain and both had common side effects of sudden heart attack, stroke, or sudden death! But they would not give me Hydrocodone because it could hurt me. BULL! I refused to take them so my fourth year of debilitating pain goes on. Now millions of people suffer horribly every single day because they have decreed that is the way it will be, no matter how much people suffer. They have an agenda and it is NOT to keep people from getting addicted or to keep them from harm. Sadly, they rule the world and they make the rules and the rest of us are left to suffer, many times, to death! This should not be! I'm sorry your loved one had to pay the price for such wickedness in this world. At last, their suffering in this world is over and they cannot torment them ever again. God bless and keep you all.
@@kathykay2010 So sorry I missed your comment. I wish things weren't this way. I have had chronic pain for years. I searched the medical literature in an effort to find an explanation. I finally realized that I have a mutation that often leads to chronic pain. All you can do is control the pain. I spent 10 years learning physical therapy techniques, massage modalities, trigger points, acupuncture and chiropractic, concentration/hypnosis and more, but finally my blood pressure went so high that my doctor wanted me to take a sample there in the office because it was so high. I just said no. It was time to treat my pain rather than fight it or ignore it. I have been on opioid pain meds since then. I will never forget the first Fentanyl patch I put on. I just melted to the floor in sobs of relief. 30 days later my blood pressure and other blood chemistry went to normal. My BP dropped 30 points. I won't go back to the pain. I have been terrified that my doc would get Covid and die. Our state has a limited number of docs who can prescribe opiates long-term and they rarely take new patients. Even if they do accept patients, my drive goes from less than 3 miles to get to my doctor to at least 100 miles. As difficult as the opioids access is, I think that you might want to consider it. Before opioids my, pain increased every 6 months. I nearly died from NSAIDS and twice the pain medications prescribed were recalled for heart damage risks. My opioid prescription has been raised only once in 18 years of using opioids. I take oxymorphone. One doctor who specializes in opioid pain treatment said that opioid addiction is different from other kinds of abused drugs because opioid addiction is a genetic issue so you don't have higher addiction risk based on the dose or length of use. You either have the mutation or you don't. That's why addiction to opioids is almost constant at around 3%. The reason people are dying now, has far less to do with big pharma and is a result of illegal Fentanyl cut into street drugs. Since Fentanyl is 1,000 times more potent than heroin, it can cause overdoses very easily. They've checked the reports of people claiming Fentanyl poisoning from touching the powder but that's actually a misunderstanding about how the Fentanyl patch worked as opposed to powdered Fentanyl. The company that developed the patch had to make a suspension in the patch to cross the skin barrier. Powder won't go through skin. If you have some powder on your hands and it gets into your mouth, nose or eyes, the powder can cross mucus membranes so wash your hands immediately. Again, I am NOT A DOCTOR so don't take my word for it. You should talk to a pain medication specialist. I have never had a good appointment with a rheumatologist. One I went to literally shrieked as she walked in the door and said "Oh my God you're fat. " That was the appointment. I had to pay the hundred bucks because she didn't accept any insurance. I asked my pain doc how fat causes pain and he just shook his head and said he hated when doctors said that. I have figured out that after 20 years in bed, my weight pulls on my joints and causes pain, but it took 20 years before I reached that point.. But intense pain can kill you. The VA just released a study that found the patients who rated their pain the highest were the most likely to die of pain-induced suicide. They call it suicide, or the awful ones call it addiction... obviously, that's ridiculous because you would not have died if your pain was treated. THAT'S the real danger, not addiction, but suicide from untreated pain. If you have had severe pain constantly for years, you need to see a doctor about your risk and tell them you have untreated pain. The UN has assessed and reported America's poor response to patients reporting pain in chronic and acute cases and labeled the American system a human rights abuse over untreated pain. It is a serious problem. I hope that you find relief and compassionate care. There are several chronic pain organizations. I link with them and other pain patients on Twitter and it keeps me informed about state laws and new legislation about opioids. Please take care.
i just went through this with my mom. she died 11 days ago. i'm still in shock and the grief is just starting to hit hard. i had her in my home for her final 7 days. i'm so glad i was able to care for her and love her at the end.
I'm so sorry for your loss honey. She is fine, and you were here earth angel. God Bless, take it easy and don't make any big decisions for the next 6 months until you have started to accept your Mum's passing. She will always be with you, and love you. xxx
@@civilpanda9422 my mom and your mom are on the same 🌟 journey my mom just passed Aug 16 I guess I was meant to see this video tonight.. I feel like you it really hurts and so hard to accept yet we will see them Again
@@donnafontaine2799 my sympathy for your loss Donna. these are tough days indeed. i too believe we will see them again so there is some comfort in that. take care of yourself as you grieve xxoo
My sincere condolences to you and your family. My son was killed in August and the loss is excruciatingly painful. Like you, I got to spend time with him at the beach, hung out a week before he was killed and had our last lunch together. He was Christian and made it clear that he was “right with God” and excited for his future. I knew when I answered my phone at 1am that ....that he wasn’t going to make it. He donated his organs saving five lives. God bless! 🙏🏼
I got to sit with my brother in law who was only 55 at the time for his last 2.5 weeks and I did not want him to be left in hospice alone. I asked if he wild be willing to have me stay and he was relieved that I had asked. We covered so much in those last weeks from food to music to family stories. At the very end, my husband was able to join us to say good-bye to his brother. I asked him to look after us and he has if he would. Just as he was crossing over, he spoke to us and said “my wish, my wish” at least ten times. Then he got out the whole sentence out “my wish for you two is “more time together”. It was one of the most powerful moments of my life and a gift to be able to be with him.
My brother was taken off life support today. We were all there. He could hear us.His name was in the Book of Life. He is in heaven. He was only 59. Just two weeks ago he was working and living. Now he is pain free ( years of cancer) making music w God's angels to praise Him.
@@khappy1286 Thank you for sharing this...I can feel the gratitude and love that surrounded him, that you wrapped him in and still do, and I can feel his for all of you. I can't tell you how much this touched me today and gave me hope. So deeply sorry for your loss, blessings to you and all who loved him as you navigate this time.
When Mom was dying of pancreatic cancer the entire family was with her for four days. Over a hundred people came. Her sense of humor was there to the end. She refused morphine because " I'm not done talking yet!" On Sunday about the time she'd be drinking her caffinated coffee before church; she went to the light. My sister and I watched as she reached up calling to her sisters who had gone before. Dot! Lucille! Its been 18 years...just yesterday.
Dr Bush, what a compassionate and kind man. You mentioned God in such a way and that really touched my heart. Bless you as you journey with people who so need this kind of care in their final stages of earthly living.
My feelings precisely about this Dr. His comments on this issue are spoken with knowledge of course, but also such compassion. It makes you wish that he was the Dr. caring for when that scary time comes.
My 27 year old daughter died of ovarian cancer in 2009. This has been a great to hear, so very validating that we all did the right things while she was in that very final stage. we had the radio on and talked to her and to each other. Family was so very important to her and as we were told that her hearing would be the last thing to go then we were determined that she would leave to the sounds of her loving family, she finally died in my arms with me telling her that it was ok to go, that we will be ok, and we are. Thank you for bringing this delicate topic to us, for me it has brought great comfort.
Thank you. I read this 10 hours after my husband died today. It helped to know what I was doing was the right things. I held his hand almost to the end. He would squeeze it lightly and I felt he was comforted by it. He died of lung cancer. He was breathing so hard. When they gave him the first shot you could see him relax and breath easier. It was a comfort for me as well. Thank you again, your presentation was comforting.
May you be blessed with all your positive memories of your holiday celebrations with your husband during this initial holiday season after his passing. May your family & friends give you the support YOU NEED in the coming year. Prayers & positive thoughts being sent to you from me.
@@kimberlyclytle99 thank you so much. I was with wonderful family and it was a blessed day. It's not been easy it has been only the two of us for 25 years. But it will be better, the love of Jesus has kept me strong. Your very special to remember me this way. God bless you.
@@jkth4500 My father is dying now and I cannot tell you how much I respect the work that your daughter does. It takes such a special person to do something that society does not valorize and yet so central to our human experience. Thank you and to your daughter. May both of you be blessed .
@@theresachung703 I'm so sorry to hear that and I hope that he is getting the help he needs on his journey, and that you are too. Losing your parents, no matter what age you are, totally knocks you off your axis. I really, really miss mine. My daughter (the doc one, I only have one), was very close to my parents as both herself and her brother went there after school for few hours before I collected them after work. When my mum died (31.01.2016) we were all with her and she was in medical school at the time, she was so upset, she told me that she hoped I was not offended but that she was like a second mother to her, I am convinced that influenced her decision to specialise in the field of palliative medicine...I only hope that it wont wear her out emotionally (she's only 32). Take care, cherish your moments with your father, tell him you love him often but don't spook him.
@@jkth4500 Thank you for your kindness. I think the work can give your daughter a lot of strength as well. You sound like such a lovely and delightful person. Wishing you much love and happiness!💜
Retired R.N., worked CCU, ICU, post cardiac bypass surgery......always held patients hand if no family there. Thank you for sharing your video..so compassionate, so true. G.
That was very kind of you. Retired medical here too. CABGx3 a year ago. I was fully aware of the procedure and process so I was okay even though I have no family left. It was the beginning of Covid-19, so no one could come anyway. I can't imagine how scary the process was for those who didn't know what to expect. I'm sure you were a comfort. Bless your heart.
My 87 year old brother in law who has dementia. Cannot get him to eat more than a few bites every day. Little bit more successful getting him to drink fluids but he has days (usually 2 or 3) where he refuses any food/drink at all. I give him a Boost protein shake and fluids he takes so he can do his meds. He's very uncommunicative and he doesn't want to be bothered with taking a shower. Hope I can get some help professionally since he holds on to his dignity and won't let me help there. He can still walk.but it is painful. Not sure how to care for him!
@@rosetyner7758 ....can you request help thru hospice?? A lot of times as a person’s body is shutting down; it no longer requires food. I wouldn’t force it. God bless!!! ♥️
My Mom passed 5 yrs ago and after listening to him I recognize all those signs that she displayed. She died saying she could see my Dad (who had passed 5 yrs prior) and we encouraged her to join him.❤
I was my mother's caregiver for her final three years with Alzheimer's. It was a long sad decline. I cannot express how grateful I'am for the advice and help of hospice. They were truly angels on this earth. They gave me encouragement and strength to make it to the end with her. They gently tended to her physical needs and kept her as comfortable as possible until the end. To all hospice workers....may God bless you forever!❤
Same with my mom i was happy to walk this beautiful women that gave me life to the next phase of her life. Hospice was wonderfull and so helpfull to me. They gave me a little pamplet to read called gone from my sight. I read it with my mom and we both understood what was going on. I didnt want her or i to be afraid of what we knew was inevitable and it helped alot.
Patricia Bilton our hospice nurse gave us the same booklet. I thought it was a wonderful. It described it so well. We are saying goodbye but on the other side they are saying here she comes. What a great homecoming🙏🏻🙏🏻🤗💐
Oh, yes, I feel the same. I was my father's 24/7 caregiver during his final months. His dementia had reached the point where assisted living didn't work. The next stop was a nursing home but it was horrid and I took him out after 3 days and brought him to my home. Oh, it was tough. (My husband and I aren't young.) Every one of the Hospice workers was an angel. And although Dad needed round-the-clock care by the time he died I was thanking God I'd had the blessing of looking after him until the end. In his final days, he had long conversations with my deceased Mom - even joked with her. Once he called out her name and burst out laughing at some shared joke. He also chatted with his mother and his brother. And despite the dementia, he knew me and my husband until the end.
Both my Mother And Father told me they were in transition and each of them took 14 days from when they told me they were in transition to finally stop breathing. During those 14 days, they were quite lucid and would share stories of having been with family members who had passed before them. My Mother would awaken from sleep and talked about Jesus having been with her. Also, she shut her eyes about 7days in during this process, she could tell me what I was wearing, without opening her eyes. It was such an incredible time for all of us, especially me, as I was each of their caregivers.
Suzanne I have never heard of such an incredible telling you of heaven is like. 153 people talked to you about your experience with your Mother and Fathers story. Gives me less fear and more understanding what death is like. God bless you for sharing your telling of your remarkable experience.
Suzanne Betts, my father's deceased parents and siblings came to visit him while he was dying. He was so happy to see them and talk with them! He was so ready to go home!
Hi Suzanne thank you for coming here to share your story with some many people I am sorry for your loss god bless your parents my dad became sick a month ago when he came out of hospital he had this moaning sound he would make he would talk but then go back to this sound it would make me feel he is passing away he would at times get up and walk from his bed to the chair only the. Next day to have no mobility he got aspiration phenomnia Blood pressure up and down so far he has been fine vital signs but this moaning noise he makes he refuses food because he has to have textured diet he has started to pull out his drip needles something he would never do this before only recently and his behavior change to hospital staff just dose not want anything he is always a gentleman and just wants to come home he had mobility up to a month ago I just don't know why this moan is there
Thank you for this, it was very helpful to me. I lost my wife of 54 years last May 2021. The hospital offered us what they called Comfort Care, the whole family was in the room, and everything happened just like the Doctor in this video explained. The one thing that keeps me going is that I know without a doubt, we will be together again in Heaven.
My brother, an RN, gave us this phrase to remember: she is not dying because she’s not eating. She is not eating because she is dying. This was a relief to us so we could let go of the worry over my mother-in-law not eating toward the end.
Some people have a strange fixation on eating. Most people in the US could go for months with only water. They can live off their fat and they should, just do that, instead of getting bariatric procedures. Lazy people get their way now, as the government has declared obesity, a disease. It opened the flood gates......Now we have wide beds, wheelchairs etc.......To accommodate the results of a life long of over eating, too many calories and not exercising, patients with a high BMI can have their insurance pay for their stomach staple. We did this to our society by being enablers and "politically correct ". The excuses we have made are not benefitting anyone, except maybe the bariatric surgeons......they can now buy 2 or 3 more Mercedes cars, maybe even a Ferrari . Ha..ha.....
Thank you for this phrase- I was beside myself when my mom was dying and they weren’t ‘feeding’ her. I couldn’t understand nor accept food being withheld from her. But now I understand better. I lost her March /‘20 and I only got to be with her for a couple hours 3 days before she died. They shut down the hospital the next day, due to Covid and I wasn’t permitted to be with her till the end.
@@kuvasz93 At least you can be glad she passed peacefully shortly after seeing her, unlike some of the unfortunate who lasted a long time alone after the lockdowns which was one of the worse crimes they did to people who can never forget or forgive it.
My dad (I called him papa) passed away 2 1/2 years ago from cancer. He and my mom were with my 2nd oldest sister and her family at the time. He knew he was nearing the end and didn't want to be in a hospital. My oldest sister and I as well as our families had already said our goodbyes in person a few weeks earlier and then on the phone the day before he passed as we all lived very far apart. We were all so very broken inside as he was such a good papa. The night he transitioned, my sister and brother-in-law stayed up with him all night, holding him, singing to him, telling him how much he was loved. He couldn't speak anymore (that had just happened) but he kept squeezing my sister's and brother-in-law's hands 3 times in a row repeatedly. They didn't know what it meant at the time and were confused by it. 5 years before this, my husband, myself and our boys had moved in with my mom and dad. Something my hubby and I have always done with each other and our boys is to squeeze each other's hands 3 times (or tap the other person 3 times) as one of our ways of saying I love you. When we moved in with mom and dad, we did it with them regularly and they started using it too. My sister didn't know it that night, but the very last thing dad was communicating was saying I love you to her over and over again as he left this world. 💙❤️ I just think that's the most beautiful thing.
Hello Maurita, how are you?I’m glad to come across your profile.. i couldn’t resist not to open your profile after reading your comment, immediately i did my heart stopped after seeing you.. I know this is improper and I’m so sorry to infringe on your privacy, forgive me...please do you care for a chat?
@@wendelinerobert6242 .....this video is about dying and what family & friends should expect. Then responses or stories from what family members experienced....it’s not a dating site. It is improper.
I had a catastrophic stroke, brain bleed, 7 months ago. I died twice and actually remember leaving. Otherwise I remember nothing of the 3 months before the stroke and 2 months after. But what I do know now, is that there is nothing to be afraid of. It has changed my approach to living, in the now, with the people I love, knowing that I will end my time, at the right time, with love.
Such a good video. My Nanna went in for a hip replacement many years ago and she was as bright as a button the night before. She was in early stage dementia too which important. The day after the op she was in a coma and continued in that for many weeks. Not eating and on a drip seemingly not aware of anything around her. I was accosted by a doctor just the day after her operation who said "Why didn't you tell us she had epilepsy" he was quite aggressive as though we had made this happen because we hadn't told the hospital. I told him she never was epileptic and he went away. Days later a nurse confided in me that she was given the wrong amount of anaesthetic but pleaded with me not to tell who said it. To my intense shame I never challenged this. At the time I was bereft about my Nan who had been a mother to me and I couldn't think of anything else but the fear of her leaving me. Nan continued to be in a coma for weeks and was totally unresponsive. After weeks of watching her drastically lose weight because she was only getting nourishment through a drip the hospital called me to say that she was fading fast and that I should come to the ward quickly. I got there in time to sit and hold her hand. Suddenly she sat bolt up, eyes wide open, fastened on something in front of her then she held out her arms and said "I am coming A...... (her favourite brothers name who had died years before) with that she lay back down to all appearances comatose again. I listened to her breathing which got slower and slower, then it stopped and all the colour drained out of her face until she was pale and waxy. I loved my Nanna so much and I was glad to be with her when she died . Did she see her brother at the end? I like to think so because it gives hope for something beyond this life.
My Nanny (grandmother) spoke to my grandpa out of a sound "dying " sleep.She 0pened her eyes and looked at something no one in the room saw. She said" really the thought Pete". Sarcastic tone. Then she went back to sleep. Passed a few hours later. My grandfather passed many years earlier. Umm. Maybe the Sarcastic tone was because they had been divorced a long long time. It would have been interesting to know what he told her.
You should have pursued that confusing issue about the snafu during your grandmother's surgery, and you would likely have won a settlement. That said, it would not have brought her back, but maybe expose unethical people who did not do a proper job. O well....too late now and your Nanna is likely in a great place ! Don't worry and let it all go......it is the past........She would want you to be happy !
My Mom was an only child raised in foster care and she had a fear of being alone in the world. She raised 5 kids and we are all close and Dad was great but had died 3 years before. So as my sister and I held her hands as she was dying in hospice, i got a sudden sense that she was afraid to go because she was afraid she woukd be alone (even though Dad had visited her a couple times in her last months) so I whispered in her ear Mom don't be afraid, you won't be alone, they are all there waiting for you. Dad, your Mom, your Dad, Grandma, Ethel, ( the list went on a bit) so go ahead. We'll be ok and we promise to behave. And just then she took a deeper breath like she was going to dive into a pool and she went. And we knew right away she was with them all, surrounded in love on both sides and in peace.
@@lorij6796 I whispered this into my Husband's ear, once all the kids were there. I told him it was OK to go, we would be ok, and we knew he would be watching over us, and that we loved him so very much. He took his last breath 10 minutes later. A half hour beforehand, the Hospice Nurse told us " This will be an all night thing". I told her " No, it won't, he's ready to go home".
@@reneet5858 My husband was dying of a brain tumour at home. Three of our sons were with us, but one had broken his leg and was absent. The wonderful nurse volunteered to drive to his home and bring him to our home. After he arrived, I told my husband that we were ALL with him…and it was ok to go home now (to God)…he took one last breath and left us, so peacefully.
The doctor, speaking about the process of dying, has such a compassionate and kind way. He made me realise that He really cares. How I wish to have a doctor like him when I depart.
2 things happened as my mom was in her last day. One of her brothers came to visit and mom was unresponsive at the time. Mom had always wanted to hear him say “I love you” and like many men of that generation, those were not easy words for him, but he did go in and tell her. He came out with tears in his eyes and said that mom had opened her eyes and smiled at him!! 2nd thing was just minutes before she died. She was struggling with every breath and I just held her hand and told her it was time to go dance with Jesus. I could feel her relax and in minutes she was gone.
I am very touched and grateful to everyone who has shared precious memories of the last moments of their loved ones dying. Nearly everyone had a similar story to tell, and it was very comforting and moving to read. Thank you. There are so many good people in the world.
When someone dear to me was close to death her wonderful hospice nurse told us that she was doing her inner work. I found that expression very powerful.
Inner work 🤔... I LOVE that... thank you for sharing that... you just changed my life♥️Bless you, how kind of you to share these words...🥰🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙋♀️♥️‼️
In my mother's last hours I could see that she was preoccupied by something-she looked intrigued, head on one side. She was still able to speak a little and react to us, but there was something more interesting happening. The thought came to me that she was 'busy' with the business of dying. It would have been so like Mam to find it interesting.
@@olwens1368 She was seeing her loved ones who passed before. They came to escort her to Heaven. Same thing happened to my mom. She was staring in the corner, looking intrigued.
As a hospice volunteer many years ago, I found favorite music to be calming to patient and family. A gentleman who we thought in coma, squeezed my hand when Christmas carols were sung in the hall.
I disagree, Nancy. You and millions of others may BELIEVE that "God is bringing the dying person home" but that statement is definitely NOT "So true." A "belief" is just that. Truth involves having FACTS and CERTAINTY, for starters. "Belief" has nothing to do with it.
@@rae0521 true...not everyone goes to be with God when they die. But those of us who believe in Jesus and accept Him as our savior, believe that we do. I cannot prove this to you as fact, as you said. I take this on faith. Shalom 🙏🙏
@@nancyd.6191 I'm curious... How do you decide what to take on faith and what not to? I mean, when you're not using facts or legitimate evidence upon which to base your beliefs, what do you use? Hunches? Intuition? Tea leaves? What others have told you either in words or writing?
I love the way this Dr. says, “God’s calling you home.” Very true, and comforting. I worked with home-hospice patients, back in 1990s, always remember..🙏♥️🙏♥️🙏♥️🕊♥️🕊♥️🕊
Thanks dear Doctor for mentioning multiple times “God’s calling them home.” I deeply believe it is what’s happening. Thank you both for sharing. Blessings to you both!
Rita Miller, I agree. My mom was a survivor of Stage 4 colorectal cancer,twice. She was given 6-9 months both times, and even quit the chemo for good in her 2nd trial, because she hated the way it made her feel. She asked to be released from treatment before going to visit my sister who lived in California at the time. The doctor approved the release, and when she returned from her trip, she got wonderful news--no evidence of new disease!! For the next almost 30 years, she remained cancer-free!! She was always praying, and it was truly miraculous!!
My dad saw all his relatives that had gone before him. He was trying to talk with them. He was very restless and agitated. My mom and two sisters were at his bedside. He told them to quit talking because he couldn’t hear the heavenly beings telling him how to cross over. My sister asked if her husband was there (he had died several years before) and my dad said yes. She told my dad to go with her husband as she knew he would be in heaven. He settled down then and and peacefully passed over. 🙏🏼✝️💫✨🌟✨🌟✨🌟✨🌟
Hallelujah, your Dad bears witness to Jesus and The Bible even in his death. How wonderful his loved ones were there waiting for him. Can you imagine we will see Jesus face to face? I am sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing your father's testimony. It is so inspiring.🙏💐
I so needed to hear this tonight. My Mother has been under hospice care since the eight of November today is the twentieth. She has not had a drop of water or food. Just the morphine. This Doctor is an angel in disguise for his caring and compassion. I feel so much better now. I am a child of God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit and I love the fact and it made me feel more at ease when you said God's name. Thank you so very much you have helped me more than you can ever know. Blessings to you both.
I just went through home hospice care with my wife, stage 4 liver cancer. This was and still is the most heart wrenching ordeal that I’ve ever experienced. Even knowing the stages and medical issues, as a retired paramedic and fire captain, it was hard to watch and see her passing a little more day by day and near the end, last 24 hours, hour by hour. The hospice personnel made this a bearable and loving experience although heartbreaking. Life is a journey! Really well done video.
GOD Bless and comfort you Grant. As a cancer patient, that is my greatest fear and concern, worrying about the toll my end of days will take on my Husband. I will Pray for you tonight along with my prayers for my family.🙏✝️❤️🌻
Mr. Grove - It doesn't matter how much experience and ability one has when one's own heart has been pierced. You gave her a good life and were by her side. At the end, that is worth everything.. Blessings, sir.
@@rosaliegmaye8539 I will pray for you and your family, too, Ma'am. You are going to Paradise as the God who made you is calling you home. The family isn't there yet and it's always much pain for them, even believing in our Lord, because they don't get to go yet. We know Him. He will take care of your loved ones for you. Because He loves them even more than you do. Be at peace, as you comfort your loved ones.
Grant you are truly a good man and may God Bless you as you continue your journey. It was a gut wrenching experience for you and your wife. Just know that she is at a better place.
I did not know my husband was dying, though I saw decline in abilities with each stroke over 24+ years. About 3 months before his death he had another (many over 24 years) stroke, and when I told his MD's office, the nurse asked me if he was actively dying then...I had no idea what it was and told her that I was his wife, not his doctor and had no way of knowing - that was early January of 2021. I did not know what it meant until seeing this today, June 16, 2021. He passed March 1, 2021. He did not show any of the symptoms you mentioned. I had no idea it was so close, but we were home, together, as he wanted it to be. His last words were 'I love you'. He as he spoke them, raised his right hand in the ASL sign for 'I love you' as it was something we'd done our whole marriage - we'd sign that while we met each other on the road, him as he delivered oil and me as I drove school bus as a substitute...he put his arm down, and he was gone. EMS confirmed it a short time later...but none of the things you listed here fit his passing...I would not have known it was happening. God just knew he'd suffered enough. I will see him again, our marriage will resume, when Jesus resurrects him and takes us home with Him. Blessings.
Everyone’s story is a bit different… my loving wife was dying in the hospital, then admitted her to Hospice where she was finally treated with dignity…I just didn’t know how close to death she was… My son and his wife were across town giving birth and rushed over to show her our new granddaughter…upon arrival, she put her arm up on the air with her index finger pointing up… my granddaughter squeezed her little hand to that finger……..It was an amazing moment that will stay with me forever. Norma was gone at 6am the next day, with me by her side. I’m convinced that she waited until she met our granddaughter to pass…
I took a "death and dying" course in college, and one thing I didn't hear in this discussion that seems important to know is that saying someone's full name (as part of your soothing conversation) is very special for them to hear as they are preparing to leave us. We don't typically address each other that way, so we don't hear our full names all that often, but it can give a great feeling of meaning as to their importance to us and to the contributions they've made to this life on earth. It's a confirmation of sorts, and something comforting to their heart and mind. I've always remembered that.
Many people I know don't feel their name belongs to them and prefer to not identify with their name So, I'd play it by ear. Also would it be the maiden name or married name, for a married woman? Difficult to know unless their response/expression suggests it does evoke comforts and peace...
@@annacsillag7247 "Many people you know" prefer not to identify with their name? Interesting. I can't think of a single person who falls into a category like that. Regardless, I have to assume that if you're at the bedside of someone in the end of life stage, holding their hand, providing comfort, etc. it stands to reason that they are a loved one with whom you've shared a portion, if not all, of your life. (Unless perhaps you're in the healthcare industry and this person is sadly passing away alone.) Typically, there isn't a lot of guess work here, or having to play it by ear. I'm simply sharing what I learned from those who are well versed on the subject.
@@jlnriddick because you're not adopted, didn't grow up in foster care or don't come from a lineage of enslaved people who lost their African names and were given Scottish or English ones? I was by the bedside of someone all week who died a few hours ago so I will end my message here and hope humility isn't foreign to you for when you next reply to someone you don't share an experience with.
@@annacsillag7247 Regardless of someone's back story, it's presumed you are at this person's bedside due to the relationship you share with them, hence... this is not a stranger to you. If there are issues, you know to avoid them.
As a long time palliative care nurse, I don’t agree with the necessity of saying the full name to the person…many women change their last names that it really isn’t their name…first names are enough. People often feel they have to say something profound, and find this difficult. I tell them just tell the patient that they love them…that is enough. My best friend died a few days ago, and as I was hugging her just before she passed, I told her “I love you so much, thank you for loving me”…she smiled and hugged me back and was gone a few minutes later.
Thank you for this. As my husband was passing away due to COVID pneumonia, me being dressed in the PPE, got to hold his hand and I felt him squeeze my hand. I was told it was more of a bodily response, but after hearing this, I’m going to believe it was him doing this. The other part that stood out was when you said the morphine helps alleviate the difficult breathing process as being off all the equipment now, it was hard to breathe. He passed away within 10 minutes after being taken off the equipment. I held his hand and talked to him the whole time. Thank you for this video. I do appreciate it.
My momma just passed from covid pneumonia Sept. 26th, 2021. She was 57 and I am 23 her youngest daughterof 5. I was very blessed to have a similar experience being with her and holding her hand. I read psalm 23-24 and sang worship songs to her and we prayed to God to wrap her in a blanket of comfort, strength and take any fear away.. over and over again throughout this time between songs.. It was heartbreaking but also the most beautiful thing I've experienced in my life. I sang the lily of the valley which was her favorite song. Before the song was over I told her not to tarry to go see Jesus. Within minutes (she was strongly holding my hand till after she passed) I could feel an emptiness that once filled her body and I saw and felt her spirit leaving her body and going upward. Even after she was gone her hand so tightly held mine unlike the other one and other parts of her body that were limp. I eventually had to pry her hand off mine. I didn't stay long after that since I knew her spirit was with Jesus.
@@iiamthej5911 Oh my, Bless your heart. Sept 26th would have been my husband’s 75th birthday. I understand what you meant when you said it was both heartbreaking and Beautiful. Sounds like you gave your mother a beautiful send off. I am so glad you were with her. May she Rest In Peace in God’s blanket of comfort.
@@joycependleton589 Wow, what a touching coincidence. I pray God continues to give you an armour of strength and blanket of comfort during this time. I know it filled his heart to have you with him during his last moments here. It really was exactly what she wanted and needed 💛 now she's with Jesus. Even though I didn't want her to go and I begged God to not take her I know his timing is best and I will never be able to thank him enough for giving me and her the strength and comfort and peace through her last moments here. With him the "worst day of my life" ended up being one of my greatest memories I will cherish forever. I love her so dearly. Thank you for replying, I hope you have a great day. God bless.
......one of the first things I commented on in the spring of 2020 when all the panic was setting was this: apparently most people had never seriously understood that they ARE going to die. It seems that alot of the panic during the year arose out of the fear that resulted from this apparently shocking discovery. My husband died in 2014 from a primary liver cancer. He was dressed and active until the last hour and went to bed late on a Saturday night about an hour before he died. We had about three minutes of realizing he was leaving us. Really amazing to see how strong he continued to be through that very last day, the day he made his last necessary trip to Home Depot to purchase a faucet to be installed in my kitchen, and then giving our son instructions about the details of how to do that. It was amazing. And we were amazingly blessed to have that kind of ending. It was almost exactly three months from the diagnosis until the day he left.
Yes u were blessed we aren't getting it that easy with my dad he doesn't know who i am when i saw him yesterday but told my mom i didn't come up to see him at the hospital .his death is going to be the worst i think I've probably witnessed out of our whole family and it's more than i can take. My mom is an angel she's at his side at the hosp 6 hours or more everyday but only 1 person is allowed up at a time on the icu floor we can't even be together at the same time until right at the end. I've said my goodbyes and released him a couple days ago I'm 48 years old but i feel like a little girl inside. It's horrible knowing there's nothing u can do to end their suffering except watch it okay out like a bad movie
Sharon, that is amazing. What I’d call a good death. My mother has primary liver cancer, diagnosed in mid-March. They told us she likely had 2-4 months to live. She’s fading some, but seems fairly steady. I’ve even questioned the diagnosis! So I was interested to read about your husband being so active until the end. My mother is nearly 89 years old. I pray she is blessed like your husband was.
Death is just a step out of the organic body we have been into ; anything natural has to be good. No fear of death here. BTW, Covid is really bio-warfare, if you do a little research. Pandemic ? well sort of.....but mostly a bio-warfare. Looks like your husband had the right idea.....you go when the work is done...How clever ! .
I am retired now, but I worked for a hospice for 17 years and we are still learning about dying every day. One interesting point I would like to add is that research has shown that when patients are given the choice to add pain medication themselves via an implanted pump, they tend to use less medication than when they must ask for help from caregivers. For one, by self-administering the medication, they do it at the first onset of pain, when it is more effective and thus requires far less of a dosage. But perhaps more importantly, the patients know that their time is short, and they choose to stay conscious as long as they possibly can tolerate the pain, rather than be knocked unconscious to a point where they feel they may not come back. Being in charge of pain administration removes the anxiety which seems to require less medication. Another thing I remember is that when patients refuse food, it must never be forced on them, because their digestive systems are among the first things that shut down, and pouring food into a system that is no longer functioning feels like concrete is being poured into their stomachs. My supervisor noticed that some of the nurses or aides attempted to force-feed patients, and those were well-meaning, but obese aides, who acted out of compassion, but with the mistaken idea that food equals comfort, which it does not with the dying, but it's more like torture. One other thing I remember is the case of a Saudi Arabian patient dying at the hospice with the entire family attending the patient. Upon her death, the family wailed and wept loudly, they tore their clothes, and scratched their faces until they were bleeding. The notes in the patient's chart stated that the family was "dysfunctional." I did some research and found that their culture demands that this is the way to show respect to the dead and the grieving family. Perhaps a short chapter on cultural differences about how to deal with death and the dying should be required for hospice professionals.
The notes are CORRECT this is dysfunctional and inappropriate. I am not from Saudi, but am Arab and Muslim (as I am assuming these other "culture" people were) and these actions are prohibited. Back in the days prior to Islam it was common to do this for your stated comments, but after Islam came it is allowed to be sad and cry (as we all have hearts) but the full blown dramma show is NOT a show of anything but ignorance. We accept God's decree and know we will all return to Him.
Dying and death are something that most people cannot talk about. Many are afraid that if they say the word “death” someone who they care deeply for will die unexpectedly. My husband and his family are beginning to experience long term illness, mind you, this was a group of people who never thought that death would ever happen. I on the other hand was born to older parents and death was often something that I saw as a young child. Having been able to know only one grandparent (only knowing him for 8 years) is what stilled my reckoning with the inevitability of life’s numbered days. I’m not sure how Google’s algorithms got me to your channel but I am glad that I found you. Most people would run away from this channel but your content is a vital and very important thing for everyone.
I was also born to parents who were 40 + when I was born. My father had been through many health issues but he did survive his ship being hit by Kamikaze planes off Okinawa leaving him in the ocean for 2 days waiting to be rescued. I was born on the same day as him and he left me way too soon. I did not know any of my grandparents, one died when I was 2. I later became a hospice volunteer after caring for my mother for over 15 years in my home. I was happy my kids got to see her every day to keep her happy but it was difficult for me as my 2 brother's would not even watch her when we had to fly to my mother in law's funeral. Both were nearby and had room but refused. I believe that's why I became a volunteer, to help out those that have nobody.
When I have observed someone dying, I think it’s a process. Just as a baby being born is a process, so to me, dying is a process because the person is being born into a new reality. I have been with my father and my mother in law as they were dying.
Death is just another journey of life. We don’t know where we’re going or what to expect, that is the scary part. But, if we have faith (each religion is different in their beliefs here), just like in life we had a path, a journey if you will, then why wouldn’t we have one after? Food for thought. IMO.
It is a process that gets radically cut out during trauma deaths. It probably takes a while to get over these, on the other side. I guess they have fourth dimension hospitals when these passing souls may recover. I read that, somewhere in my esoteric researches. I still feel I would prefer the sudden traumatic death instead of a slow one, laying around and unable to move. I am not seeing that......
My twin sister lived with me for the last month of her life. An identical twin connection is so difficult to explain other than "love is bigger, you feel everything, you know somehow everythingis to be with a best friend". We fought brain tumours together. When she would be in hospital "asleep" I called it; she would squeeze my hand. It was the best gift ever. I showed her photos and described the stories of them, even though her eyes were closed but I knew me and I knew her too well even though "she was asleep" as I put it. To my surprise I was showing her a pic of mum which we always laughed about - she WOKE UP started laughing, looked at me, smiled and "went back to sleep". Her last night at home "I knew" I had a sense of be with her all night in a much more "us way". Its a feeling I can't describe other than you are my world and I will give you everything to be with you. She was in pain, I said I would take her to the hospital but she looked at me in a way I've never seen, and said "not yet". That was our last night before hospice. so we snuggled up in bed; as she was having brain seizures and I didn't know if she would recognise me after them, if she could move, if she could talk, understand, or what her condition would be after each one. I just had to hold her, love her, make us cups of tea when she asked for one(*and I was still amazed at her ability to be) and unbelievably we flicked through magazines, she would sleep a bit, i would hug and watch her. We even talked in Italian - I was amazed at her will to be and share what she could. She would doze, I would watch her breathing. I tried to hide my "not knowing" I wanted her to have "us as normal as we would be. " she woke up and said "thank you for being my sister." There are no words for that. bless her, she was holding on for our birthday - she passed exactly1 wk before it, we were 36 . I told her we had heaps of birthdays, we don’t need any more and its ok, you don't need to wake up any more, you don't need to do anything any more - you have done everything in your life perfectly in your own way. Every decision was the right one, for you, when you made them. (Including a new kettle bc it was super pretty!) I held her hand, I "felt" her going a little bit each day. When the time came i felt pure joy for her and told her all the angels were there and God was here. I said "you go hun, you go now, hold his hand". And she stopped breathing.
Thank y’all for this video. I’m currently in the position of my Mother’s caregiver n we are exactly at this juncture. She’s in active dying phase. My family n I are keeping vigil with her. We are doing hospice at home. We’re administering morphine n keeping her comfortable n surrounded by love. She’s been in this state since last Sunday. We’re surprised she’s holding on but we understand there’s a reason. She can go when she’s ready.💝 We are having a hard time because we don’t know if she’s suffering. The hospice workers that visit to check on us n the status are all telling us we’re doing a great job they can see she’s resting peaceful. We’re committed to making her transition peaceful and full of love. I’m home for a minute to shower n I gotta got back. Say a prayer for us. This is so hard. Thank you for this great video. ✨👍🏼💝
@@jjshoot2425 , Thank you. She transitioned on November 1st. . My sister and I were each holding her hands as she passed. Seems like yesterday. I miss her dearly but I know she’s with her loved ones and no longer suffering with Alzheimer’s. It’s a wretched disease.
Yes, I agree Alzheimer's is a horrid disease for the patient, and for the loved ones. Know your mom must have found comfort in her children, and her passing. It's a gift you were able to be there when God welcomed her home. Prayers for you and your family. Live well for her. I still talk to mother-in-law, especially when I'm cooking. I couldn't do it without her
@@ritaflatt7605 , Our Beloved Mother transitioned on November 1st.. She went peacefully with my sister n I by her side, each of us holding a her hands. The grief comes in waves n my sisters are both having a real hard time. That’s not to say that I’m not but I think I’m in a different place when it comes to death. I’m one to keep it to myself. I feel a peaceful feeling for her n I know she’s with her loved ones. I get little n big signs all the time that she’s happy n at peace. I say thank you every time. 💝✨💝 Thank you for reading my comments n thank you for your reply. 💝🌎💝
It is 3 a.m. and I'm sitting at my husband's 99 yr old aunts bedside in the new lift chair that we surprised her with and she has thoroughly enjoyed. She has congestive heart failure and went from independent living to assisted living on the same campus last month after the hospital social worker erred and sent her here instead of rehab next door. (A 3-5 day trip to settle her in to rehab and prep for a move to AL is closing in on 2 months.) She is now on hospice, her lungs are clearly filling, she is struggling to breath and we just pray that she is comfortable until the end....however long that transition period may be. This video and comments are comforting to me as I sit here in near darkness with this dear, amazing soul. Just the two of us, until my husband, her nephew awakes from a much needed rest. We will always cherish this time with her, going through old photos from her childhood and her adventures abroad. An amazing life well lived and hopefully a peaceful transition into the next. 🥰🥰
As a nurse since 1975, I have been at the bedside when my patients have passed. Dr Bush is right-on! When I have a patient who is "actively dying," I always make a big effort to be that person at the end, which sometimes just doesn't happen due to other patients needing their care, too. I believe that the last thing a dying patient feels is not sound, but touch. Nevertheless, I speak to them, comfort them, & when appropriate, I pray with them. All the while I'm holding their hands, which communicates a lot. Yes, I've given morphine to those dying & feel like I'm ameliorating the death experience. I have been privileged to have been at the death of so many & their passing in comfort with someone by their sides. In addition, those who we successfully resuscitated, I ask about any experience while coding & the same answer comes to me: yes, they did see God. They felt His loving embrace as they started living again. They're not so frightened the next time around. They gave me the gift of death to respond to.
This video came up randomly. But I think it is God's way of reassuring me. My daughter 37 years old died in June of brain cancer. I looked after her until her death. Two days before she died I phone Hospice because she wasn't eating and it freaked me out. And just before she died I gave her her last dose of morfine. And I thought it was because I gave her the morfine that she died. Thank you Dr for giving me the reassurance that I did my best. I loved my daughter and would have given anything to save her. I would have died in her place if I could 😭
My mother recently passed away; she went through the described stages exactly. Now I understand and know that my mom did not suffer. Thanks so much for the information.
I was told that sometimes they will call out to people in their life that had already passed. My dad did that. Also, something that everyone should do, especially if it’s a parent, thank them for all they’ve done for you.
Thank you for this explanation. This fall my husband who,had been dealing with weakness, shortness of breath, pain and memory speaking, started to escalate, he was so angry because he had always been a strong person. He refused his medication and didn’t want to eat. We had talked about dying, so when he just couldn’t function anymore, the hospital had diagnosed him with cancer and called in hospice. They were wonderful and helped us understand what was going on. Before he got to bad we called in all the kids for a weekend with there dad. My daughter and I stayed with him to the end. I could enter the room and get a smile and a wink. We have been so glad we kept him at home, we could be with him constantly . This was when Covid was at its peak and they were not allowing families in with their loved ones . Thank you lord for bringing hospice, and wonderful people to help.
Death is a bit sad cause we miss those lost. My husband, I'm not sure what's going on. He had a mini-stroke 2 weeks ago but he is refusing ALOT of the Dr orders and has lost 45 pounds in 1 month. He talks like your husband did. He's angry about getting old, wetting uncontrollably, and well....no salute. He said he has no desire to eat like he used to. Now, half a burger gets him full. I just don't know what to say.
We are going through this right now with me 33yr old nephew. It is complicatioks from covid. We were just told that they are taking him off life support. All we can do is pray he is at peace and will be with God and passed on loved ones soon
I was fortunate to be with both my Mother and Father at their deaths. I’m not sure all of my siblings would say that is fortunate, but I do! My Mother was a geriatric nurse for over 30 years, retired, then returned as a hospice nurse three months later! I learned a lot from her and in my reading. I wanted both my parents to experience what Native Americans called “A Good Death”. So, in the end, for both of them….their favorite music was playing in the background as I held their hands and told them we loved them, and it was OK to go. They both went peacefully, and I will never regret the time it took to be with them at the end!
My husband was in hospice care at home in a familiar room. What I am most grateful for is how the team included our 6 year old grandson. He was in charge of welcoming guest and giving his grandfather sips of ice water, including his last. My husband used to say all a person should wish for is someone would care enough to give them a glass of water. Hospice allowed this child to not be traumatized. It is now a year and half and he speaks of him and he sometimes says he is sad and misses him. But he seems to ccept the that it was a comforting transition he was a part of. The team did a handprint activity he will tradure this forever. His grandfather hand with his. One that patted his head, or hugged him .
Heartwarming, insightful staff team. To actively participate in death transition is as beautiful as witnessing the birthing of a newborn baby. Being with that special someone is truly a divine moment especially when it is the end of their suffering.
What a touching story that brought tears to my eyes. A wonderful, peaceful end of life experience for your husband and a meaningful, memorable one for your grandson. The handprint project will no doubt be cherished for the remainder of his life!! RIP Grandpa.
This is beautiful! Thank you for sharing these words. My daughter went with her father to his dads bedside at end of life. She wanted to give him water and listen as he spoke of how he wanted things to go. She was ushered out of the room by other family members. She would have had such a good memory if the situation had been as your grandsons. God bless you. 🙏✝️
I, as an only child, was with both my parents 24/7 in their final days. Both has well managed pain and passed very peacefully. Being there up close during the last days allowed me to pre-grieve and get closure. God bless Hospice 😇
The hospice angels for my dad were awesome. I sung to my dad that he was my sunshine and held his hand. I thanked him for his guidance in life. Talking about this makes me cry. My dad was so much fun. I miss him so much.
My mom passed away in 2016, and she was actively dying for 13 days wouldn't let them give her water and food, signed it when she found out she had cancer.
If I could have one wish it would be that everyone would have a Dr. Bush to be their physician. God Bless you in your very, very important work. Thank you for making this video
My mother-in-law lives with me and my husband. She has dementia and is under Hospice care. In her dreams she often sees deceased family members and she has given us vivid details about those dreams. She often awakens with an incredibly happy and peaceful look on her face. She sleeps most of the time now and is eating less and less. Glad to know her hearing is likely still intact. We will continue to read aloud to her from her favorite prayer book. Thank you for this wonderful video. I find it very helpful.
When my Mother was put into hospice I went with her and slept on a cot in her room right next to her bed holding her hand every night telling her that I would not leave her. It was so comforting to be there with her during those last precious moments of her life. Hospice care was amazing and the facility we were in was so beautiful. I spoke to my Mother to let her know I was there, and I knew her time was close on that last day . I spoke to her softly, telling her what a wonderful Mother she was and how much I appreciated everything she has done for me. How lucky I was for growing up in such a structured home with the most loving parents. I told her that it was ok to go to Daddy and that he is waiting for her and is going to dance with her when she gets there. I told her that my Daughter and I will be ok and that she has done everything she needs to do here. I told her to look for the light and go towards it. She actually started to heavily frown and I knew she could hear me. It was one of the most precious moments of my life. This is when I knew for certain there is a God! Trust me, when that time comes, make sure you tell that person everything you want to say to them. They hear you! You need to talk to them, let them know they are not alone and that you Love them. 'Thank you for this video! The gentleman in this video was wonderful!
There is a wonderful book, “The True Work of Dying,” that compares the dying process to the birthing process. It is written by medical professionals and gives both medical and emotional information about the experience. When my husband was dying of cancer, and later my father of old age, I found it helpful to think of them being born into the next part of their existence. While I haven’t experienced death, I have given birth, and the information just made sense to me as I was supporting my loved ones in their transitions. Peace.
It is and reincarnation is real and I myself have no plan to come back in another body. I am working on that refusal........No more human bodies !!!!!! done.
It's amazing how we are all taught about the miracle of birth but we are never taught about the miracle of death. As heartbreaking as it was to watch someone I love go through the dying process it was almost an amazing thing to witness. I was given a booklet from hospice that explained the stages of dying and the process was almost page by page.
As a nurse I have seen many patients that have a period of “awakening” where they may be more responsive, alert, talking, answering questions, unusual compared to recent level of consciousness. This doesn’t seem to last long and families tend to think the patient is getting better. Doesn’t happen to everyone. Please let families know the patient doesn’t feel hunger. At times the medical team will push having feeding tube and I have heard them say “ well you don’t want the patient to feel hungry and starve” This is a great disservice to the family, to pile on some guilt, even though the pt’s papers may say no tube. Thank you for going over these things and particularly that pain management is important. Though the patient may not be saying they’re in pain, they may be.
@Terrie - when a patient has a 'better' moment do things get worse quickly ? My daughter acted that way on a Saturday after having a TIPS procedure done and three days later she passed away.
@@toddb930 sorry for your loss. I can’t imagine how difficult it must have been to lose your child. that’s a hard question. Unfortunately the answer is, it varies. My grandmother died within a couple hours, but I’ve seen patients last for several days, but not “waking up” again. Each person is so different. Recently, my niece held on for several hours and as soon as her mother left the room for 5 min she stopped breathing and passed.
When my Mom was passing away, I talked to the hospice nurse. They put a morphine pump on her arm and said she would just pass peacefully. This was around 10:30 pm a d no sooner than the nurse left my Mom sat up on the side of the bed and wanted to chat with each of her children. There was 5 of us. I’m greatful she did this. She told me how much she appreciated me for taking care of her and all that I had done for her and how much she loved me. I will always remember this. This was at 3:30 in the morning and I was the first one she chatted with. Ai along she wasn’t supposed to be able to drink or swallow anything and she drank a whole 2 liter of Pepsi. She said she would leave the world drinking a Pepsi. That was her favorite drink. Around 5:30 am we put her in her recliner chair where she was finally resting and she passed away at 8:25am. That was on December 31, 2014. I remember my sister in law telling her it was the last day of the year and Mama told her you’re right it’s the last day. I sure miss her. She told the Hospice Chaplain the she wanted a fast and peaceful death and I would have to say that is absolutely what she was granted. I thank God for that.
you're lucky. the last thing MY mother said to me was "If you say you love me one more time, I'm going to slap you" I was there alone when she died, knowing she would have rather had any of my siblings than me. Of course the only one that DID come at all is my sister. My three brothers 'couldn't handle it'.
@@teampenit there were 5 of us and we were all there when she passed away. They all worked except me so I was the one with her all the time. I and I wouldn’t trade it for the world. I carried her everywhere she wanted to go. Went to lunch somewhere every day up until the Friday before she died on Wednesday morning. I miss her everyday.
True! I feel the same and would bring you the sweetest little kitten in the universe but I’m 83 years old! Hopefully, your request will be fulfilled. Meet me on the other side, a long time from now. I’m sure all 13 of my beloved dogs and 5 cats are waiting at Heaven’s Gates. 🐾🐾 God be with you, dear.❤️
There are therapy animals that come to hospice. They're wonderful and so comforting. I hope it's a long long time before you need the kitten but I know it will help. I've had to say later on to my animals and I stay with them while it's happening. I look forward to the reunion at the rainbow bridge someday and hope I have one with me when I make the journey.
While my mother was actively dying in the last few weeks of leukemia, food wasn’t an option. She sipped a type of liquid that had some ingredients and nutrients all natural ..nothing high in sugar or salt ..nothing with mucus like dairy .. she did not talk for the last 7 days of her life.. when I left her bedside from my evening shift .. I got the call she was ‘leaving’ at 5am the next morning.. I was at first rushing and breaking speed limits to get there.. but then something came over me , I felt her , my body shook and I couldn’t stay on the road.. I pulled over and I could feel she was gone .. I arrived 20 minutes later , she had already been given the high final dose of morphine and was at final rest at she requested. Thank you for this hard talk.
I wish I had seen this last December. I took care of my mom and she went thru this exact process. The only thing was that I didn't know exactly what was happening to her. Thank you for the explanation.
My Daddy is 93, and generally in fairly good health. But my siblings and I are aware that God could call him home at any time. This information is so valuable! Thank you for this!
I laid down beside my dad in his actively dying phase. He had an esophageal cancer. I just hold his hand, communicate and pray with him which never been in my life we were so close as a father-daughter. I am so thankful to God for that precious moment, even in his last seconds.
Let’s be real. Morphine depresses respiration it’s the side effect. But when you are in the waiting room for heaven it’s kinder to do so. Morphine is a great comfort for many and also for family. By the time you need morphine you don’t want to be hanging around. It’s time to go.
I agree. People generally are not afraid of dying, they are frightened that it will be painful. In my opinion, Morphine gives the comfort of being pain free. My father’s doctor gave this to my father who died at home (his choice) and I bless his name. I hope that when my time comes, some kind doctor will do the same for me.
That’s not necessarily true. Morphine can help you breath easier. Too much of it can kill you. Not everyone on a morphine pump is dying. It is also used for pain management for cancer and after surgery. I was on a morphine pump for over a month and that was 28 years ago.
Janice Field It depends on the dose. And it can be accumulative. Of course it’s not just used for pain it’s used to relax the muscles and other things too. Depends too on your tolerance wether you have taken other drugs or alcohol before or have a dependency. The discussion in this instance was for comfort of the dying. I have a Masters in Palliative care. I think I knew what I was writing about in relation to the side effects.
Janice Field I’m retired but I can assure you we always do the very best we can for those in the waiting room of heaven. I am glad you appreciated your loved ones care. It would have been a pleasure to those who looked after them.
This came up at time when most needed. I'm currently caring for my elderly mother and she is heading towards the end of her life. Having this information has given me some tools to be able to provide better care for her. From Debra in Australia
Thank you both. It's definitely not an easy time. Watching a once vibrant and head strong woman slowly withering away. Mum still has a lot fight in her and is fighting to stay as strong as possible for us.
I hope you find it encouraging to be able to help your mother as she passes on with comforting things such as reading, singing to her, combing her hair, putting lotion on her, making sure she’s warm, talking about beautiful memories, anything you would wish be done for you. She will feel supported and strengthened to begin the journey onward. Find bless your time together
My grandfather was in critical care due to chronic lung disease. He was moved to Hospice and family notified. They knew it was just a matter of time. The 4 th day, my relatives were shocked - Grandpa was sitting up in bed, eating watching his Red Sox game, chattering to everyone like nothing was wrong.He went to sleep 4 days later, peacefully. He always had such a sense of humour. A note my aunt found with his belongings read " I am up in God's country, fishing.and now I can fish in peace with no complaints".
I'll never forget the experience, sitting with both my Grandma and Grandpa at the end. Especially with my Grandpa that last night. He was unable to communicate, but when I asked him if he wanted a cowboy movie his eyelids moved, and it was the same when I asked him if he wanted one of his preachers on the TV. I don't fear death anymore, it's peaceful in my experience
Dr many thanks for the information. You have mentioned hearing and feeling are sound till end of earthly life. Why then do medical staff send away family members in the dying minutes
My younger sister was in Hospice for 4 days. She went thru all the stages you mentioned. It was peaceful. I played her favorite hymns and her closest friends visited.I’ll always miss her.
I was with my Dad the last 3 days. Held his hand on his last breath. Hospice nurse told me she was with another patient dying….. thank God my husband and I were with him!
When my mom was actively dying I spoke to her although she was in a coma. I told her what a good mama she was, how she would be seeing Jesus soon, how much she was loved. I watched her eyes going back and forth as in a dream state, like she was watching a movie.. I loved talking to her. I did think she might tell me to be quiet a couple of times. That made me smile. I miss her very much
My mom saw her people several days before she passed... she had such a faraway look in her eyes and great joy on her face... I know they were ones she was so over joyed to see! 3 days later she left... it was a very spiritual experience I treasure...
@Do no harm Right? Had to be past people… family that she missed? Who had gone before her? Can only guess… it was a privilege to see that though… there were a bunch of us in the house and it was like none of us existed… total focus on what she saw…🤔🦋. No explanation only those leaving know…🤗😘
As a Nurse, many patients take so long to die. It's amazing. No food, fluid and still living. I've held their hands and said" it's OK you've done enough here. It's time to go home." They usually die in an hour. People need to know it's OK to go HOME
I asked for all the information concerning active dying when my Momma was under hospice care in a nursing home. If I'd been told what to expect it would have been much easier for me to handle. Instead I was worried Momma was suffering & that the morphine was hastening her death. As different symptoms presented themselves I went on high alert & was scared. The hospice nurses only told me about the "death rattle" & that Momma could still hear me. The entire process would have been much easier for me if I'd know what to expect. I researched the death process afterwards so when my husband passed over the next year I was prepared & informed other family members as to what to expect. Society teaches us all kinds of things about living, but doesn't teach us about death & dying. That absolutely must be changed! Thank you so much for the comfort you provide to dying patients & their families! And for educating us about actively dying. You're compassion is extraordinary to me. God bless every hospice worker!✌💕🙏
When I stood by the bedside I was a very dear friend of mine we were talking I was telling him how beautiful heaven was he had asked me to get him a drink can I ask the doctor can you please have a drink the doctor informed me that he was going to be passing within the next 5 minutes to just let him have an ice cube on his lips it was extremely extremely emotional to me the doctor said that he was fighting so I told Francis I love you and you have worked hard your whole life I told him not to worry about me I felt as though he was worrying about me so I took my fingers and I put them down his eyes and I said Francis I love you I will see you on the other side don't worry about me it's time for you to rest and then Francis past I went running out of the hospital I have just lost my best friend I took it extremely hard for he is one that I just and not forget he left me like I was his daughter I love you Francis I will see you on the other side
I said goodbye to my father less than a year ago, and while I wish I had seen this beforehand, I can say this is very true what is said in this video. Dad died peacefully with his children all there the day prior to his passing and I can appreciate that time with him. Thank you for sharing. Say what you need to say before your loved one dies, and have no regrets later. It's a time for peace, not fights.
I was with my mom when she was passing her breathing was very laboured,I told her she could go that my dad and granddad were waiting for her and to give my son Keith a big hug for me,her breathing slowed she gave me two big smiles and passed 20 minutes later I'm so glad I watched this as I have often thought did she hear me now I know she did and I'm so happy,I have just been told I have Brest cancer and have to have a bilateral mastectomy and chemo but they can't tell me what the outcome will be this gives me great comfort knowing I will hear my family if I don't recover .
Great interview and content. Also great to see compassionate medical personnel caring for the terminally ill. I hope I am able to have such people around during my last days.
Me too. It’s a somber time and family members should be respectful to their loved one as far as being loud, and moving around a lot, accidentally hitting the bed and such. I noticed that he didn’t say that, but I am saying it.
@@maryherron3970 I worked in hospice care for all ages from newborn to the elderly and while some people may want quiet that's not true for everyone. We are all very different people with very different life experiences. I have been at deaths at a party, and the person dying has been absolutely comfortable. A child would possibly find total quiet and a somber atmosphere quite frightening. But also adults may feel the same way too. If pain is being managed effectively sound etc shouldn't normally have a detrimental effect. I'd hate people to assume their loved one wanted silence or felt bad for making a noise. Just the same for touch. People may not want to be touched but being held by their parents or loved ones is often when a child feels the most peace. I think this is yet another reason why adults need to have much more frank and open discussions about the kind of death they want. But remaining open to change as no one knows how they will feel until they are the one in that experience.
I’m not one who can talk about death without feeling such anxiety. When my parents were in their 60’s, they asked my older sister and me to be their legal guardians. I have 3 other siblings, I’m the middle. The 2 youngest were upset because I and my oldest sister lived out of state. Only because my parents asked that of me did I consent to it. Being the way I am, I never gave it another thought because to me, my parents were invincible and I would never have to make any decisions regarding them passing. Not even 15 years later, my worst nightmare came true. I got a call from my youngest sibling telling me that I had to fly home, ASAP. My mom had fallen on his concrete driveway, hit her head so hard that it caused severe brain damage. I made it home that night, along with the rest of my siblings. My beautiful, sweet, loving, healthy mother was a vegetable. We all took turns staying round the clock with her and 10 days later, she developed sepsis and passed in her sleep. I was staying at my parents house and assisting with my dad when we got the call. I really don’t remember much from that moment till the day of her service. I was watching my dad like a hawk because he hadn’t eaten anything in all that time. He went from a very active, jolly, funny man to a shriveled shell of himself. Somehow, I summoned the mental strength to send my mom to heaven by writing and reading her eulogy. None of my other siblings wanted to do it. I never took my eyes off my dad as I sobbed while reading the eulogy. It felt like I had been punched in the stomach, not only from losing my mom but KNOWING that my dad wasn’t going to make it. He wasn’t sick, it was a hair raising feeling that I just knew. I stayed with him 5 more days without one minute of sleep from fear that if I slept, I would wake up and he would be gone. My 2 oldest siblings told me to go home to my family and take some time to process and grieve and they would stay with my dad and get him through until I was to fly back a week later to take their place. I was extremely close with my dad. He was my rock my entire life and now I had to be his. I spoke with my sister several times a day for the next 3 days. On the 3rd night, my sister called me, breathlessly crying. She said that my dad had had a stroke and was in the hospital unresponsive. I made it there at 7:30 the next morning. The 5 of us stayed by his bed and 2 weeks from the day that my mom passed, my dad followed her. It will be 9 years this April and I still haven’t gotten over it. I haven’t made it 1 day since, feeling any kind of joy or zest for life. There isn’t a day that I wonder if I could have done something or if my brother could have prevented my mom’s fall and they’d still be here. I don’t stay in touch with my siblings because they’ve moved on and don’t even want to speak of my parents.
I'm very sorry to read your story and, though it is several months since you posted, I don't know if things have improved for you. I would say forgiveness is key. Forgive your siblings for carrying on and making you feel left behind, forgive your loving parents for leaving you so suddenly and so close together, and forgive yourself for every other thing that haunts you and makes you feel guilty. Your parents loved you and would want you to be able to continue to experience joy and a good life. Grief is very painful (I lost my husband of 34 years very suddenly) and very draining. It takes time to recover physically and the emotions will likely always remain strong. You are allowed to feel sad, angry, have days of hopelessness and regrets, but these should not dominate your thoughts every hour of every day and rule your life. Have you had any grief counselling, or even deep conversations about your feelings with trusted friends? Deep wounds take time to heal, but balm needs to be applied. Reopening the wounds and continually looking into them prevents healing. I do hope and pray you can find a way to work through this difficult time and to feel joy and peace again. Sending you a hug. x
I totally get the “what if”. My grandmother passed away in her home with my son and I by her side. My Mom, who lived with my sister out of state, passed away unexpectedly. My Mom was my confidant, my cheerleader, my everything. My sister asked me to move in with her out of state so that we could grieve together, she had a very good job and didn’t want to leave. Less than 2 years later my Sister passed away unexpectedly. I also think of the “what if’s”, but I was MISSING the here and now, the present. Please accept this recommendation with love, care and acceptance, because I too know what you are going through. In addition to my story, my great uncle passed away and 2 days later my great aunt passed away. We always believed it to be of a broken heart, because she was not sick… Take care…
I totally get the “what if”. My grandmother passed away in her home with my son and I by her side. My Mom, who lived with my sister out of state, passed away unexpectedly. My Mom was my confidant, my cheerleader, my everything. My sister asked me to move in with her out of state so that we could grieve together, she had a very good job and didn’t want to leave. Less than 2 years later my Sister passed away unexpectedly. I also think of the “what if’s”, but I was MISSING the here and now, the present. Please accept this recommendation with love, care and acceptance, because I too know what you are going through. In addition to my story, my great uncle passed away and 2 days later my great aunt passed away. We always believed it to be of a broken heart, because she was not sick… Take care…
I'm so sorry for your losses. I know that you have to be heartbroken 💔. I lost my dad when I was only 5. Then in the middle of December 2000. I got a call from my first husband's family. He unfortunately passed away 35 years ago. One of my sister in laws informed me that mom had passed away. I had been close to her since I'd met her in 1982, the year I married her oldest son. The next morning around 6 am my phone rang and it was my step father calling me to inform me that my own mom was in the hospital in a self induced coma. I live in Indy my sister in NC. We talked everyday and talked to moms drs every day as well. They told us that there was no reason to fly out to California at that time and he'd keep us posted. Well my sister and I decided to fly out the next week. We got there on Friday, stayed awhile and then went to our hotel. The next morning we were back in the hospital and she blinked her eyes as we walked by her door but the dr informed me that she was having a automatic movement. She ended up passing that evening after the dr told us to take a break and get something to eat. The hospital called the restaurant almost as soon as we'd settled down. We made it back in time with just a few minutes to spare God bless you 🙏
I have been with several loved ones that slipped away from the body. When my grandmother was dying. She came out of a coma wanting to know where she was. I told her and she said she didn't want to be there. She said she had been in Africa and Asia and everywhere. Since then I have called death going to dance on the wind. Death does not make me afraid or sad. My children, grandmother, uncle, dear friends have all gone to dance on the wind.
What a beautiful Doctor. 🏅 I loss my 33 three year old boy 4 months ago. It's just heart wrenching. He didn't know he was dying. The doctors put him in a coma and when nothing could be done it was agreed to turn the life support off. I'm so glad he just went to sleep and never knew what was going to happen. See you soon my boy. 🙏💚🙏
I lost my 46 year old son two years ago. I’m still heartbroken but know I will see him again as you will your son. Be kind to yourself, we both will get through our heartbreak.
Thankfully, in Northern Ireland, my Father who died on 24 January 2003 from cancer, had a peaceful death. He knew his family were there, but his doctor was SO helpful and engaging that he kept us right, informed and involved in the process, right to the end. I am eternally grateful. Thank you for your kindness, concern, and terminal care, Dr JW ❤
May I ask - what complications? One of my sisters (I have 4, D; M; B; caretaker R), is the only one that Mama will allow to help her. When we try to help, Mama gets so agitated. She hasn’t officially been diagnosed as to having dementia or something, Mama let us stay roughly 15 minutes and then she tells each of us to leave. If for some reason the 4 of us happens to be there at one one, she tells us which one of us has to leave, if not all of us. Of course I suppose that’s par for the course. The sister that takes care of her has to be there to help get her calmed down. When said sister has to go somewhere, like the doctor, she asks either M or D to stay with Mama until she can get back. ‘R’ doesn’t ask me because I’m not in good shape (hospice) either. I would appreciate any help you are willing to share. I’m sorry that this is so long.
@@maryherron3970 I took care of both my parents who died from Dementia. It is the most horrible thing, watching your parents walking around with their brains dying!! My dad died Feb. 15, 2016, my mom, April 5th 2018, both made it to 94. I cannot believe your mother's Dr. isn't in on the end of life care for your MOM?!! I quickly took care to take some Dementia care lessons, at our Senior Center, and the end of life stories. My mom did not like to be away from her Frontier Living home. She had a cute apartment, I decorated it the best I could, she was really pleased. I brought her over to my house to look at my grandchildren and their nine children (four grandchildren), on my computer. I wasn't thinking, after just a little bit she said, "Sharon, can I go home, I don't really know all these people and their kids. She was more acquainted with her own home!! God bless you, it is a difficult situation to be in!! I was first just taking my parents drugs over the few blocks to their house, I would stay all day and come home after they were in bed. I was really careful about the house, it was my mothers. Soon, though I had to begin making decisions!! It was one of the worst experiences of my life!! I moved back here to Montana from Oregon, in 2010, I drove the nice new, big Uhaul, I had been gone from here for 47 years, never wanted to come back here, big, DYSFUNCTIONAL family!! Alcoholic sister, monster daughter, son-in-law, two sons, took everything my parents had, but didn't find two life ins. plans!! I had a brother here and one on down the road, very good with money, we made him conservator. My sister and her evil seed had my parents hating me when I got here, all lies!! My niece ended up slugging me in the face, a 68 year old woman with one speeding ticket, who has severe Fibromyalgia and austioarthritis!! She and her evil seed put my brother and me in jail, for beating our mother, a little bit of 93 year old woman!! Then I found out the four cops I introduced myself to wanted my pot smoking brother, at 64, so did the lying County Attorney, he absolutely framed me!! (A man who was the judge had known my family for years, drinking, drugging kids, drinking dad, he got us out of our situation!! I had been a respected business woman, running a high end clothing store with beautiful beachy clothes, for a nice family, in Cannon Beach, here I became white trash!!! I could NEVER live through it again!! It was Friday, I had a horrid bladder infection, a temp. of 103.2, no aspirin in that galley off a ship, dry as a bone and a cold winter, summer clothing, my brother came up on Monday morning and bailed us out!! Now I have nothing to do with the brother and sister here, it is so much better, and my oldest daughter moved here two years ago. The conservator died of brain cancer in April of 2018, he was a brakeman-conductor for the railroad, my sister-in-law thinks it was the fumes, diesel, coal dust and a couple other things!! YOU NEED TO HAVE YOUR SISTER TALK TO YOUR MOM"S DOCTOR ABOUT HER HEALTH SITUATION!! I didn't know my parents had Dementia, nor did I know they were broke (My sister, her kids and lousy son-in-law took $110,000.00 out of my dad's account in a little under one year!! Took his McKensie river boat and all his tools, garage was bare!!! All my mother ever did was cook for all of them!! I didn't know my dad used his last $25,000.00 CD to pay down on my cute little OLD house. I told him I didn't want it, hadn't had a yard for all those years!! I had never seen my dad so mad at me, my brother was mad at me, too, so I am paying for the house!! My brother sold my parents beautiful house!! Well, this is way too long, I am wishing you a world of good luck, my dear!!!
I remember that before passing my father was very hot and he tried to take off his t shirt repeatedly, his nurse said that this can be a common occurrence. So I cut off the sleeves and lowered the neckline of a t-shirt making a tank top, and he seemed more comfortable. I hope that I have such a compassionate person looking over me when it is my time.
About 12 years ago my dear cousin was ill, and it was unclear exactly what was happening physically b/c she had many, many health issues. My mom and I went to visit her, and I noticed the lacy, purple mottling the doctor mentioned here. At that point I knew Rosemary was not going to be with us for much longer, just a few hours. I took mom out of Rose's room and told her we needed to stay - that it would be just a few precious hours we would have her, she was fading. Mom has always been very afraid of death. Fortunately, Rose's passing was peaceful and easy. We were there with her till the end. I think witnessing Rose's passing helped mom be less afraid. Rose held on until her last two adult children arrived, and then she slipped away quietly. I am grateful to Rosemary for accepting her departure gracefully, and surrendering this life to go Home peacefully. Mom is 96 now, and I am 70. I am sorry to say she is very angry her life will soon end. Mom is bitter the Party is over, and yet if only she knew the truth! To return to God, the source of all Creation, is to be in the presence of pure love --- unending bliss! I will be here for mom until she departs. I pray she passes in her sleep, because she hates hospitals, and doesn't understand anything about how the body functions. It is her choice to remain ignorant and frightened...so I worry she will try to resist her liberation from her earthly existence. Mom thinks death is all about loss, when in truth, we return to the Source, to God, which is a joyful reunion. For now I just pray for strength to get through the day without being on the receiving end of her rage. My eldest sister is here, and I'm letting her step up and take over a bit. I've been doing this for 8 years now, hoping I could bring some joy into mom's life, but from her daily complaints it appears I have failed. This world is such a beautiful place, filled with wondrous vistas and incredible life. I am sorry mom can't appreciate it.
Thank you for this, I told my dad that I loved him just before he went, id never told him that before as he’d never told me, it was just how we were. I did always wonder if he could of heard me I’m so glad that as you stated hearing is one of the last things to go. I hope he heard me. Losing him has negatively effected my life since in a awful way it’s now been over a decade and it still effects me greatly, but hearing that at least I know he might of heard me. Thank you 😢
I am so sorry for your loss, and I know what you mean. My whole life, my father never said I love you, to me, even when my mother asked him to. It hurt me deeply that he couldn't say the words. And my three siblings think I was his favorite. Some people are brought up in homes without affection being shown, as he was. So I had to accept him for who he was, but I am now 68 yo and I remember that evening like it was this morning. It's important to me to say the words to people I care deeply about. I never want to leave someone wishing they had heard me say the words I love you. I want them to remember me telling them, and I hope you are able to get past this. I wish you peace.
@@cpwood3506 yup..my dad was very strict and mean and never was affectionate ..i grew up on a Lakota reservation..very poor and my dad worked his butt off and my mom took care if all of us in a log house with no running water or electricity. We all had chores and if we even spa ked a little..we got the belt. Well one day an old friend if mine visited my dad she i was in the Navy and he said that my dad couldn't stop talking about how proud he was of me etc. I was like 😮😮😮 I never hears my dad say anything to that effect directly to me..ever. He passed knee ending while j was away and i tried to make it there..but didn't. I'll always wonder why my dad was this way..but it's nice knowing that at least in his eyes..he loved me his way.
@@cpwood3506 same here claudia...my father never hug me or said i love you as far as i can remember, even to my mom he was not really showy, but over all he was a good father. I just think of the good memories and the moral lessons he taught us. 🌼 to our fathers, may they rest in peace...🌼✨🌼 God bless!
@@mtashunkab715 It must have been so hard growing up feeling like your dad had nothing but commands and anger to give you. It sounds like life was very rough for all of you, Dad, Mom, your brothers and/or sisters and you. I am sorry you didn't hear of your Dad's pride in you from him directly. It's great that your friend visited and later shared with you his great pride in you. All the best, and peace to you and your family.
I was an Aged Care Nurse & I have always loved being around the elderly, even when I was a small child. Now I am the elderly! LOL Over the course of my Career, I kept the names of every person that I cared for and who passed away. Some had loving Families who would always remember them, some had absolutely no one who would remember them, except me. I have had the greatest honour and privilege to be with hundreds of people during their last moments on this Earth. Everything that has been said in this video is true and correct. Very nicely explained 💕💕💕
Josephine I have no doubt there will be a crowd of these familiar faces when you cross over to greet you and welcome you. We don't often think of the small things we do but what we do in the moments of life... add up to a life that matters. Way to make the moments count beautiful woman!! You are one that is light and love 🙏🦋🙏
What a wonderfully kind person you are. I am deeply moved by the love and attention you extended to your patients over your career. You give me faith in humanity. 💗💗
I really needed to hear this. I'm on hospice now from metastatic breast cancer. My husband and I are paramedics and we fully understand dying.... until you are the patient!
My husband was dying from a terminal brain cancer. I knew he would "hang on" for me. When he could no longer eat or talk, I had to hold him, kiss him and tell him it was OK for him to let go, if that was right for him. That I would always love him and miss him but I would be OK (I felt like that was a giant lie at the time but could not show him that!!). He relaxed a little more, and slowly as I held him, kept kissing him and reassuring him ..... he slipped away. It was an honor to be with him to the very end, but I am a sad and very broken person right now. I know it will "get better" slowly, but it is so very hard. Nevertheless, to know my husband passed calmly, without fear or pain, and certainly without being alone for a second .... I know it was the greatest gift to give him.
When my younger brother was dying I was with him and held his hand to the end. He was an artist and I told him that the universe was now his new canvas. When he saw the bright light I told him to go into it as it would be his new art studio and he would feel more love than he’s ever felt here on earth. A few minutes later I leaned in close he was looking into my eyes and I said go paint me a miracle Little brother. He passed away immediately took his last breath, I’ve seen the most beautiful sunsets I’ve ever seen since his passing.
Rebecca, what a beautiful soul you are, and what a blessing you were for your brother!! May all the beautiful memories of your time with your brother sustain you, and help your heart heal. Thank you for sharing your experience. 🌹
Gah. 🙏🏻😭
You offered such a beautiful response to this video. And you have suggested a wonderful way of dealing with a loved one's dying experience. I almost feel like you sent this to me because I am currently in the exact same situation.
I'm tearing up, just imagining those moments for you and your brother... BLESSINGS to you!!💖🙏
That's really beautiful 🙏💖🌹
I sat with my mother dying for ten days. I’ll never regret it. She died in my arms.
Bless you. I am my mother's full time caretaker. I will be there for her like you were for yours. Man, I just cried so hard.. I wish you the best. 🙏✌️🌼
God bless you
Bless you.
As a daughter you gave your mother the love and care at a scary time in life. I stayed with my dad for 3 weeks. Especially his last week I didn't want him to pass away alone.
To me this was very important 💞
I was with my mom and my dad when they took their last breath. It was heartbreaking, but I needed to be there. They were there when I took my first breath and I was there when they took their last. 💕
When my Mother was in the final stages of her process she had been unconscious for 3 days. I went and sat by her and held her hand. I told her I'd love her forever and thanked her for all the beautiful clothes she made for me, thanked her for the beautiful garden to play in, thanked her for everything I could think of and said I was sorry for ever hurting her and causing her any pain. I prayed over her and then I felt it was getting closer to her leaving so I played my guitar and sang a song for her. I used to always take my guitar to visit her, I'd sing all my songs that she loved and even in dementia when she didn't know me the music would make her come alive and smile, she'd look ten times younger! So naturally when I knew her passing was close, the first thing I did when I went to see her, was to grab my guitar. My sister had come into the room at that time..I was singing to her and also saying (while I kept playing my guitar) it's OK, it's OK, and kept singing..her breathing slowed for a couple of breaths then her chin moved and she tried to say something to us, then her last breath left her body and she was quiet..I kept playing and singing because thats what I wanted to be the last thing she'd hear before going, just peaceful music..I stayed for a couple of hours with her and kept talking to her and telling her I loved her..then kissed her forehead to say goodbye. I wasn't crying, I wasn't upset because I know she had a peaceful end of life. So when I think of that day and that few hours I know she knew I was there and that she went knowing she was loved ❤🙏❤
That is beautiful she would of felt so relaxed and not worried that all was gonna be ok ,im cryin sorry
@@donnaf4820 Me too... crying. Heartwarming ♡
Thats just beautiful
I also played guitar for my dad, about five days before he began his transition. He was still able to clap (barely) and tears welled up in his eyes. He was also a musician and brought me into a lifetime of music as well. The last tune I played..."Somewhere over the rainbow"....
I love you, Pop. Born 12/17/1937. Died 4/30/2022. Never gone from my heart and now in heaven with his band mates.
Bless you
This gentleman speaking is just an angel… his demeanor is so gentle, his voice so soft filled with love, understanding & empathy.
What a gem he is… Bless you, sweet man! 💕
Absolutely
Thank you I am his sister.🙏🏻❤️
I looked at his eyes, he speaks truly with his heart ….
I felt the same way listening to him speak and I Love how he said that God is calling them home🕊️ I've cried so much hearing his word's and knowing my mom didn't suffer during her last Days and hour's and it's true she was very calm mostly sleeping in peace and that's how she passed away she just gently stopped breathing and then she left me 💔 words can not even begin to express how I feel the pain in my heart is just something I can't even begin to explain because it just hurts so much I loved her dearly I cared for her ever since my father passed away in 1992 I brought her to live with me so she wouldn't feel alone ever again she was 94yrs Old then congestive heart failure came along a few months ago and that's what took her from me😢 God bless this Dr and all the Dr and nurses that care for our loved one's and do their everything to try to make them healthy again.
Yesss❣️🥰✝️👑😇🙏
I swear hospice workers are genuine angels on earth.
They really are
Agree!!
So true!!
Yes ❤️❤️
I agree and my daughter Amanda is one of them!
As a Nurse, EMT, many people pass before my eyes. My Mother did not believe in Heaven to my surprise. During her passing, she said she saw her Mother and sister calling her to join them. A few last words, she whispered the flowers were so beautiful, she at last had no pain. She left with a beautiful smile and reached up and drifted away. Do not fear, she finally let that fear go. Love you, Mom, see you one day.
I think it is lovely you think that I be I have no desire to see anyone
I hope and pray that when it’s my time, I will have such a good, loving, Christian doctor caring for me. What a gift!🙏🏻♥️
Amen and ditto
@Cheryl Caine How do you know he's Christian? Why do you think that only Christians can be gentle, compassionate, and respectful?
@@longtermcareexperiences-bi5685 just a guess by the way he spoke he said “when God’s calling you home.”
@@cherylcain890 Yes, but my question was, would you be less comfortable if he were not a Christian?
Personally, it wouldn't matter, as long as he was as kind, gentle, and compassionate as this doctor 🕉🕎☯️✝️☪️☮⚛☦
you must be american, thinking only a Christian doctor would be caring. what about a black Christian doctor? acceptable to you?
Today marks 22 yrs since I lost my Mom. She have a brain stem stroke, so, she seemed to be asleep, but was brain dead. We brought her home, and hospice helped to care for her, at the end. She had no pain. But, she also had no movement, no speech, no sign she was in there. At her last moments, I had been holding her hand. For some reason, I let her hand go, and she reached up towards the ceiling arms outstretched, like a child waiting to be picked up. If I hadn’t seen it, I wouldn’t believe it. She was welcomed home by her parents, and God. I believe there is more in our next life. ❤️ I miss you, Mom.
You are an amazing daughter any mother would be proud of princess 🙏🏻🌹
I agree. Many people do that before they die. I've been told that they'r communicating with loved ones who have died before them. My mom's been. gone for 22 years too.1999.I miss her too.
There is much more, there is heaven!
…a dying loved one can also smell the scent of a flower. A dear old aunt appreciated this while she was in a coma….so touching.🌹
Fayth Klauka,my mom was in hospice during the final month of her life. On the day she passed, she lay in bed and with outstretched arms, cried out "Help me,God. Help me,God". She was ready, finally, to let go of her pain and leave this world. Until again,Mom. You are loved and missed.
I am on hospice with COPD, I believe I am fairly approaching the end. Have some very scary moments off and on. One thing that has really got my attention is not being able to do the simple things we were never even aware that we needed strength and energy to do. Like putting your clothes on or walking across the room. Seems like sometimes even just thinking can actually tire me out. I relish visits from my family, it's a better feeling than any drug can provide. Night arethe worst, I am fortunate to have a loving wife who stays by my side.
May the lord be with you and help you recover from what ever is with you.. sickness and death is two different things therefore may you recover all your health and strength🙏
I wish you all the best.
God is unconditional love and I know how peaceful and beautiful the next life is. I had the blessing to be there for a short time during childbirth surgery 44 years ago. Amazingly freeing. God be with you.
How’s everything now
@@ronamartinez8232 on hospice 3 months ago.
Hmmmmmm 🤷♀️
I cared for my husband 9 years after his stroke, then after his covid vaccine he never recovered so I got him home for 11 days end of life, after watching this which I’d seen at the time, I found I did everything to make my husbands passing more gentle and calming, we had music he liked, singing songs he liked, I talked about lots of memories of holidays our wedding etc, I gave him permission to go. This interview has eased my mind that I did the right things and allowed him to go peacefully with love.
Now the hard work starts for me I’m 3 month in and I’m heartbroken 💔 but to honour his memory I will live again.
I’m sorry for your loss 🙏🏻
Yes. Do it for him. God bless. 🙏
A
God bless you and help you 💕
I understand your place, my husband died with Covid. To many health issues to overcome it. Prayers for you
My friend and I braved rain and floods to drive from Batesville to Little Rock, AR to be with a dying friend in Hospice. As we entered the room our friend had tears in her eyes. We stood there by Kay’s bed and stared at her and one tear rolled down her face and she died. It was an intensely spiritual moment, she held on to die in the presence of her friends.
Hello Patti, how are you?I’m glad to come across your profile.. i couldn’t resist not to open your profile after reading your comment, immediately i did my heart stopped after seeing you.. I know this is improper and I’m so sorry to infringe on your privacy, forgive me...please do you care for a chat?
@@wendelinerobert6242 ......not the place!
@wendeline Robert. Really???!!! 🤢
Brought tears to my eyes...
Watch out for @wendeline robert ... he's been accosting women on UA-cam with the same pick up line.
Even when people are considered brain dead and their body is on life support just to keep them breathing, you may think they can no longer hear what is going on around them; I can attest to the fact that I know they do hear and can recognize family members' voices and touch. My mother died in 1995, just one month short of her 69th birthday in the hospital. Even in a coma, I know my mother was able to hear and understand when I was talking to her or feel my touch when I stroked her or kissed her hand or cheek. Before she died, I gently brushed her hair and her teeth for her because I knew how much these things meant to her. I know she knew it was me helping her. She knew it was me because her restlessness ceased upon my arriving at the hospital and she became calm and breathed more evenly than when the nurses, aides or doctors interacted with her. During that last day I had with her, I spoke to her about how much I loved her and appreciated all she had done for me and thanked her for giving birth to me and being there for my first breath. I told her I did not want her to go but that I was so glad I had the privilege of being there for her in her last breath. About an hour or so before she died, she was gasping in that "death rattle" and it was so painful for me to hear her; the nurses assured me she was in no pain. I told her it was okay to let go and that her mom and grandparents and everyone were waiting for her and that one day, she would be there, waiting for me when my time to pass happened. I know she heard me say that because I saw tears run down her cheeks. I KNOW SHE HEARD ME; that comforted her, and it comforted me. She died knowing her daughter was beside her, holding her hands and knowing that I loved her so very much. I was so blessed to be her daughter. I am almost 74 years old now and I know for a fact that when it is my time to die, my mother and all my deceased family will be waiting for me, right behind GOD.
I worked in palliative care for 7 years and it was the most heartbreaking, yet rewarding job I have ever done. I loved all my residents and would sit for hours holding their hands, staff would make sure someone was always with them so they would never be alone. What an honour to be present in this sacred time🙏
You are an angel!! It takes very special people to do the work you have done and I know you are appreciated by not only the family and loved ones, but also by the one making their journey into eternity. To have that love in your heart to care so deeply for people you've never known is a rare quality that few are blessed with. It's a gift and thank God you have used it. ❤❤❤
I too have been a palliative care volunteer for some 20 yr. I have sat with so many people when they passed ( I usually sat with them through the night ). I also stayed with both my parents and my brother as they passed...an immense privilege and healing process. I remember my dad smiling and saying 'the boys were waiting'....they were his 4 brothers who had already passed.
@@susanjacquier5358 LOl
Thank you my friend for being so kind to people when they need it most.
I hear stories, from a hospice chaplain or from friends or a pastor, about how some people just seem to need to be alone when they die. My own mother had a brain tumor and was unable to communicate, but she seemed to hang on until everyone in the family had a chance to say goodbye and then waited till we left to finally let go. It seemed like she instinctively felt a need to be present for us, and then when she was finally alone, she could just go. A priest friend said that in his experience, that’s not uncommon.
Thank you so much for asking/talking about opioid medications. My uncle was denied pain control despite crushed vertebrae. He was in agony for weeks. They said, I wish I made this up, they said they didn't want him to become addicted. A 78-year-old man with end stage spinal cancer was going to become an addict. Our entire country has been so programmed to fear pain treatment that a man lived in agony to death instead of dying in peace.
Sharienne W. I agree, people need to talk about the demonization of opoids
and the needless pain and suffering they have condemned the world to endure.
My beloved friend Karen died on August 15, 2021 after suffering from non-stop
agonizing pain as a result of end stage cancer. They denied her Hydrocodone
for the same reason you mentioned and because, "They didn't want to hurt her."
That is the most cruel and evil thing anyone can do to someone in horrible pain. She had to endure that pain for 3 months before cancer ate her alive
until she died. This pain and suffering is the norm now, I know of many people, including myself, that have serious chronic pain and cannot get the safest
pain medication, Hydrocodone. They had no problem prescribing me 2 drugs for pain and both had common side effects of sudden heart attack, stroke, or
sudden death! But they would not give me Hydrocodone because it could hurt
me. BULL! I refused to take them so my fourth year of debilitating pain goes on. Now millions of people suffer horribly every single day because they have decreed that is the way it will be, no matter how much people suffer. They
have an agenda and it is NOT to keep people from getting addicted or to keep them from harm. Sadly, they rule the world and they make the rules and the rest of us are left to suffer, many times, to death! This should not be! I'm sorry your loved one had to pay the price for such wickedness in this world. At last, their suffering in this world is over and they cannot torment them ever again. God bless and keep you all.
Unbelievable. Very sad
So sorry, that should not have happened
@@kathykay2010 So sorry I missed your comment. I wish things weren't this way. I have had chronic pain for years. I searched the medical literature in an effort to find an explanation. I finally realized that I have a mutation that often leads to chronic pain. All you can do is control the pain. I spent 10 years learning physical therapy techniques, massage modalities, trigger points, acupuncture and chiropractic, concentration/hypnosis and more, but finally my blood pressure went so high that my doctor wanted me to take a sample there in the office because it was so high. I just said no. It was time to treat my pain rather than fight it or ignore it. I have been on opioid pain meds since then. I will never forget the first Fentanyl patch I put on. I just melted to the floor in sobs of relief. 30 days later my blood pressure and other blood chemistry went to normal. My BP dropped 30 points. I won't go back to the pain. I have been terrified that my doc would get Covid and die. Our state has a limited number of docs who can prescribe opiates long-term and they rarely take new patients. Even if they do accept patients, my drive goes from less than 3 miles to get to my doctor to at least 100 miles.
As difficult as the opioids access is, I think that you might want to consider it. Before opioids my, pain increased every 6 months. I nearly died from NSAIDS and twice the pain medications prescribed were recalled for heart damage risks. My opioid prescription has been raised only once in 18 years of using opioids. I take oxymorphone.
One doctor who specializes in opioid pain treatment said that opioid addiction is different from other kinds of abused drugs because opioid addiction is a genetic issue so you don't have higher addiction risk based on the dose or length of use. You either have the mutation or you don't. That's why addiction to opioids is almost constant at around 3%.
The reason people are dying now, has far less to do with big pharma and is a result of illegal Fentanyl cut into street drugs. Since Fentanyl is 1,000 times more potent than heroin, it can cause overdoses very easily. They've checked the reports of people claiming Fentanyl poisoning from touching the powder but that's actually a misunderstanding about how the Fentanyl patch worked as opposed to powdered Fentanyl. The company that developed the patch had to make a suspension in the patch to cross the skin barrier. Powder won't go through skin. If you have some powder on your hands and it gets into your mouth, nose or eyes, the powder can cross mucus membranes so wash your hands immediately.
Again, I am NOT A DOCTOR so don't take my word for it. You should talk to a pain medication specialist. I have never had a good appointment with a rheumatologist. One I went to literally shrieked as she walked in the door and said "Oh my God you're fat. " That was the appointment. I had to pay the hundred bucks because she didn't accept any insurance.
I asked my pain doc how fat causes pain and he just shook his head and said he hated when doctors said that. I have figured out that after 20 years in bed, my weight pulls on my joints and causes pain, but it took 20 years before I reached that point..
But intense pain can kill you. The VA just released a study that found the patients who rated their pain the highest were the most likely to die of pain-induced suicide. They call it suicide, or the awful ones call it addiction... obviously, that's ridiculous because you would not have died if your pain was treated. THAT'S the real danger, not addiction, but suicide from untreated pain. If you have had severe pain constantly for years, you need to see a doctor about your risk and tell them you have untreated pain. The UN has assessed and reported America's poor response to patients reporting pain in chronic and acute cases and labeled the American system a human rights abuse over untreated pain. It is a serious problem. I hope that you find relief and compassionate care.
There are several chronic pain organizations. I link with them and other pain patients on Twitter and it keeps me informed about state laws and new legislation about opioids.
Please take care.
I’m so sorry this happened .
Thank you Doctor for including God in the transitioning process. I’m a retired nurse also, I wish I could tell people to not be afraid.
i just went through this with my mom. she died 11 days ago. i'm still in shock and the grief is just starting to hit hard. i had her in my home for her final 7 days. i'm so glad i was able to care for her and love her at the end.
I'm so sorry for your loss honey. She is fine, and you were here earth angel. God Bless, take it easy and don't make any big decisions for the next 6 months until you have started to accept your Mum's passing. She will always be with you, and love you. xxx
@@shaunab6805 thank you so much for your kind words Shauna ❤
@@civilpanda9422 my mom and your mom are on the same 🌟 journey my mom just passed Aug 16 I guess I was meant to see this video tonight.. I feel like you it really hurts and so hard to accept yet we will see them Again
@@donnafontaine2799 my sympathy for your loss Donna. these are tough days indeed. i too believe we will see them again so there is some comfort in that. take care of yourself as you grieve xxoo
My sincere condolences to you and your family. My son was killed in August and the loss is excruciatingly painful. Like you, I got to spend time with him at the beach, hung out a week before he was killed and had our last lunch together. He was Christian and made it clear that he was “right with God” and excited for his future. I knew when I answered my phone at 1am that ....that he wasn’t going to make it. He donated his organs saving five lives. God bless! 🙏🏼
I got to sit with my brother in law who was only 55 at the time for his last 2.5 weeks and I did not want him to be left in hospice alone. I asked if he wild be willing to have me stay and he was relieved that I had asked. We covered so much in those last weeks from food to music to family stories. At the very end, my husband was able to join us to say good-bye to his brother. I asked him to look after us and he has if he would. Just as he was crossing over, he spoke to us and said “my wish, my wish” at least ten times. Then he got out the whole sentence out “my wish for you two is “more time together”. It was one of the most powerful moments of my life and a gift to be able to be with him.
Tears in my eyes...thank you for sharing. Such a beautiful gift for you both to be together in this profound way.
What a beautiful bessing!
"@
My brother was taken off life support today. We were all there. He could hear us.His name was in the Book of Life. He is in heaven. He was only 59. Just two weeks ago he was working and living. Now he is pain free ( years of cancer) making music w God's angels to praise Him.
@@khappy1286 Thank you for sharing this...I can feel the gratitude and love that surrounded him, that you wrapped him in and still do, and I can feel his for all of you. I can't tell you how much this touched me today and gave me hope. So deeply sorry for your loss, blessings to you and all who loved him as you navigate this time.
When Mom was dying of pancreatic cancer the entire family was with her for four days. Over a hundred people came. Her sense of humor was there to the end. She refused morphine because " I'm not done talking yet!"
On Sunday about the time she'd be drinking her caffinated coffee before church; she went to the light.
My sister and I watched as she reached up calling to her sisters who had gone before. Dot! Lucille!
Its been 18 years...just yesterday.
I bet she is still not done talking with Dot and Lucille. She must be having an amazing reunion.
Dr Bush, what a compassionate and kind man. You mentioned God in such a way and that really touched my heart. Bless you as you journey with people who so need this kind of care in their final stages of earthly living.
My feelings precisely about this Dr. His comments on this issue are spoken with knowledge of course, but also such compassion. It makes you wish that he was the Dr. caring for when that scary time comes.
I love Dr. Bush’s compassion for people. I, too, wish he could be there at my pivotal time of journey.
So true.
Amen 🙏🏿💜 God bless you Dr. Bush.
God is a useful tool to diminish the fear of dying. The reality of death is for many people too scary.
My 27 year old daughter died of ovarian cancer in 2009. This has been a great to hear, so very validating that we all did the right things while she was in that very final stage. we had the radio on and talked to her and to each other. Family was so very important to her and as we were told that her hearing would be the last thing to go then we were determined that she would leave to the sounds of her loving family, she finally died in my arms with me telling her that it was ok to go, that we will be ok, and we are. Thank you for bringing this delicate topic to us, for me it has brought great comfort.
God bless you Hun 💔
From one mother to another 🌹
@@troubletime8684 thank you ❤️
I'm so sorry you lost your daughter
My prayers are with u
God bless you and your daughter. It must be so sad to lose a child that way. I hope and pray her Guides take her Home right away.
Thank you. I read this 10 hours after my husband died today. It helped to know what I was doing was the right things. I held his hand almost to the end. He would squeeze it lightly and I felt he was comforted by it. He died of lung cancer. He was breathing so hard. When they gave him the first shot you could see him relax and breath easier. It was a comfort for me as well. Thank you again, your presentation was comforting.
Hugs big hugs to you. Don't know what else to say. But I send love 💘 to you.
May you be blessed with all your positive memories of your holiday celebrations with your husband during this initial holiday season after his passing. May your family & friends give you the support YOU NEED in the coming year.
Prayers & positive thoughts being sent to you from me.
How was your day today? I hope you had support and love around you, and you go easy on yourself xx
Sandra,
How are you doing today, Dec 25th? Praying for you and sending positive energy to you.
@@kimberlyclytle99 thank you so much. I was with wonderful family and it was a blessed day. It's not been easy it has been only the two of us for 25 years. But it will be better, the love of Jesus has kept me strong. Your very special to remember me this way. God bless you.
My daughter is a palliative care doctor, I am so proud of her work, there's nothing more rewarding than to help someone leave this life in peace.
Such important work
@@theresachung703 thanks for your reply.
@@jkth4500 My father is dying now and I cannot tell you how much I respect the work that your daughter does. It takes such a special person to do something that society does not valorize and yet so central to our human experience. Thank you and to your daughter. May both of you be blessed .
@@theresachung703 I'm so sorry to hear that and I hope that he is getting the help he needs on his journey, and that you are too. Losing your parents, no matter what age you are, totally knocks you off your axis. I really, really miss mine. My daughter (the doc one, I only have one), was very close to my parents as both herself and her brother went there after school for few hours before I collected them after work. When my mum died (31.01.2016) we were all with her and she was in medical school at the time, she was so upset, she told me that she hoped I was not offended but that she was like a second mother to her, I am convinced that influenced her decision to specialise in the field of palliative medicine...I only hope that it wont wear her out emotionally (she's only 32). Take care, cherish your moments with your father, tell him you love him often but don't spook him.
@@jkth4500 Thank you for your kindness. I think the work can give your daughter a lot of strength as well. You sound like such a lovely and delightful person. Wishing you much love and happiness!💜
Retired R.N., worked CCU, ICU, post cardiac bypass surgery......always held patients hand if no family there. Thank you for sharing your video..so compassionate, so true. G.
That was very kind of you. Retired medical here too. CABGx3 a year ago. I was fully aware of the procedure and process so I was okay even though I have no family left. It was the beginning of Covid-19, so no one could come anyway. I can't imagine how scary the process was for those who didn't know what to expect. I'm sure you were a comfort. Bless your heart.
@@orbs1062You are indeed phenomenon! God bless you.
My 87 year old brother in law who has dementia. Cannot get him to eat more than a few bites every day. Little bit more successful getting him to drink fluids but he has days (usually 2 or 3) where he refuses any food/drink at all. I give him a Boost protein shake and fluids he takes so he can do his meds. He's very uncommunicative and he doesn't want to be bothered with taking a shower. Hope I can get some help professionally since he holds on to his dignity and won't let me help there. He can still walk.but it is painful. Not sure how to care for him!
@@rosetyner7758 ....can you request help thru hospice?? A lot of times as a person’s body is shutting down; it no longer requires food. I wouldn’t force it. God bless!!! ♥️
God Bless You!
My Mom passed 5 yrs ago and after listening to him I recognize all those signs that she displayed. She died saying she could see my Dad (who had passed 5 yrs prior) and we encouraged her to join him.❤
I was my mother's caregiver for her final three years with Alzheimer's. It was a long sad decline. I cannot express how grateful I'am for the advice and help of hospice. They were truly angels on this earth. They gave me encouragement and strength to make it to the end with her. They gently tended to her physical needs and kept her as comfortable as possible until the end. To all hospice workers....may God bless you forever!❤
Same with my mom i was happy to walk this beautiful women that gave me life to the next phase of her life. Hospice was wonderfull and so helpfull to me. They gave me a little pamplet to read called gone from my sight. I read it with my mom and we both understood what was going on. I didnt want her or i to be afraid of what we knew was inevitable and it helped alot.
Patricia Bilton our hospice nurse gave us the same booklet. I thought it was a wonderful. It described it so well. We are saying goodbye but on the other side they are saying here she comes. What a great homecoming🙏🏻🙏🏻🤗💐
@@patbeutler354 I love your comment; made me smile.
I too couldn't of made it without wonderful hospice people . Thankful always for them as well for help with my mom .
Oh, yes, I feel the same. I was my father's 24/7 caregiver during his final months. His dementia had reached the point where assisted living didn't work. The next stop was a nursing home but it was horrid and I took him out after 3 days and brought him to my home. Oh, it was tough. (My husband and I aren't young.) Every one of the Hospice workers was an angel. And although Dad needed round-the-clock care by the time he died I was thanking God I'd had the blessing of looking after him until the end. In his final days, he had long conversations with my deceased Mom - even joked with her. Once he called out her name and burst out laughing at some shared joke. He also chatted with his mother and his brother. And despite the dementia, he knew me and my husband until the end.
Both my Mother And Father told me they were in transition and each of them took 14 days from when they told me they were in transition to finally stop breathing. During those 14 days, they were quite lucid and would share stories of having been with family members who had passed before them. My Mother would awaken from sleep and talked about Jesus having been with her. Also, she shut her eyes about 7days in during this process, she could tell me what I was wearing, without opening her eyes. It was such an incredible time for all of us, especially me, as I was each of their caregivers.
Wow! So you got what transitioning was directly from her.😊👏
Suzanne I have never heard of such an incredible telling you of heaven is like.
153 people talked to you about your experience with your Mother and Fathers
story. Gives me less fear and more understanding what death is like.
God bless you for sharing your telling of your remarkable experience.
Suzanne Betts, my father's deceased parents and siblings came to visit him while he was dying. He was so happy to see them and talk with them! He was so ready to go home!
Lord have mercy to all the faithful departed soul's
Hi Suzanne thank you for coming here to share your story with some many people I am sorry for your loss god bless your parents my dad became sick a month ago when he came out of hospital he had this moaning sound he would make he would talk but then go back to this sound it would make me feel he is passing away he would at times get up and walk from his bed to the chair only the. Next day to have no mobility he got aspiration phenomnia
Blood pressure up and down so far he has been fine vital signs but this moaning noise he makes he refuses food because he has to have textured diet he has started to pull out his drip needles something he would never do this before only recently and his behavior change to hospital staff just dose not want anything he is always a gentleman and just wants to come home he had mobility up to a month ago I just don't know why this moan is there
Thank you for this, it was very helpful to me. I lost my wife of 54 years last May 2021. The hospital offered us what they called Comfort Care, the whole family was in the room, and everything happened just like the Doctor in this video explained. The one thing that keeps me going is that I know without a doubt, we will be together again in Heaven.
I hope you are doing well. So sorry for your loss. You will see her again.
@@shannoninalaska Thank you, and you are 110% correct.
Amen 🙏
My brother, an RN, gave us this phrase to remember: she is not dying because she’s not eating. She is not eating because she is dying.
This was a relief to us so we could let go of the worry over my mother-in-law not eating toward the end.
Some people have a strange fixation on eating. Most people in the US could go for months with only water. They can live off their fat and they should, just do that, instead of getting bariatric procedures. Lazy people get their way now, as the government has declared obesity, a disease. It opened the flood gates......Now we have wide beds, wheelchairs etc.......To accommodate the results of a life long of over eating, too many calories and not exercising, patients with a high BMI can have their insurance pay for their stomach staple. We did this to our society by being enablers and "politically correct ". The excuses we have made are not benefitting anyone, except maybe the bariatric surgeons......they can now buy 2 or 3 more Mercedes cars, maybe even a Ferrari . Ha..ha.....
Thank you for this phrase- I was beside myself when my mom was dying and they weren’t ‘feeding’ her. I couldn’t understand nor accept food being withheld from her. But now I understand better. I lost her March /‘20 and I only got to be with her for a couple hours 3 days before she died. They shut down the hospital the next day, due to Covid and I wasn’t permitted to be with her till the end.
@@kuvasz93 At least you can be glad she passed peacefully shortly after seeing her, unlike some of the unfortunate who lasted a long time alone after the lockdowns which was one of the worse crimes they did to people who can never forget or forgive it.
@@linanicolia1363 what does this have to do with this story of dying???
My dad (I called him papa) passed away 2 1/2 years ago from cancer. He and my mom were with my 2nd oldest sister and her family at the time. He knew he was nearing the end and didn't want to be in a hospital. My oldest sister and I as well as our families had already said our goodbyes in person a few weeks earlier and then on the phone the day before he passed as we all lived very far apart. We were all so very broken inside as he was such a good papa.
The night he transitioned, my sister and brother-in-law stayed up with him all night, holding him, singing to him, telling him how much he was loved. He couldn't speak anymore (that had just happened) but he kept squeezing my sister's and brother-in-law's hands 3 times in a row repeatedly. They didn't know what it meant at the time and were confused by it. 5 years before this, my husband, myself and our boys had moved in with my mom and dad. Something my hubby and I have always done with each other and our boys is to squeeze each other's hands 3 times (or tap the other person 3 times) as one of our ways of saying I love you. When we moved in with mom and dad, we did it with them regularly and they started using it too.
My sister didn't know it that night, but the very last thing dad was communicating was saying I love you to her over and over again as he left this world. 💙❤️ I just think that's the most beautiful thing.
Me too
Hello Maurita, how are you?I’m glad to come across your profile.. i couldn’t resist not to open your profile after reading your comment, immediately i did my heart stopped after seeing you.. I know this is improper and I’m so sorry to infringe on your privacy, forgive me...please do you care for a chat?
@@wendelinerobert6242 .....this video is about dying and what family & friends should expect. Then responses or stories from what family members experienced....it’s not a dating site. It is improper.
@Maurita Schut So sweet! I am going to start doing this with m family. Thank you for sharing
@@kelliez9991 I love that ur family's going to adopt it. It's a wonderful extra way to let the people u love, know it.
I had a catastrophic stroke, brain bleed, 7 months ago. I died twice and actually remember leaving. Otherwise I remember nothing of the 3 months before the stroke and 2 months after. But what I do know now, is that there is nothing to be afraid of. It has changed my approach to living, in the now, with the people I love, knowing that I will end my time, at the right time, with love.
Thank you for the beautiful sharing....I too learned there was nothing to fear 🙂
Such a good video. My Nanna went in for a hip replacement many years ago and she was as bright as a button the night before. She was in early stage dementia too which important. The day after the op she was in a coma and continued in that for many weeks. Not eating and on a drip seemingly not aware of anything around her. I was accosted by a doctor just the day after her operation who said "Why didn't you tell us she had epilepsy" he was quite aggressive as though we had made this happen because we hadn't told the hospital. I told him she never was epileptic and he went away. Days later a nurse confided in me that she was given the wrong amount of anaesthetic but pleaded with me not to tell who said it. To my intense shame I never challenged this. At the time I was bereft about my Nan who had been a mother to me and I couldn't think of anything else but the fear of her leaving me. Nan continued to be in a coma for weeks and was totally unresponsive. After weeks of watching her drastically lose weight because she was only getting nourishment through a drip the hospital called me to say that she was fading fast and that I should come to the ward quickly. I got there in time to sit and hold her hand. Suddenly she sat bolt up, eyes wide open, fastened on something in front of her then she held out her arms and said "I am coming A...... (her favourite brothers name who had died years before) with that she lay back down to all appearances comatose again. I listened to her breathing which got slower and slower, then it stopped and all the colour drained out of her face until she was pale and waxy. I loved my Nanna so much and I was glad to be with her when she died . Did she see her brother at the end? I like to think so because it gives hope for something beyond this life.
My Nanny (grandmother) spoke to my grandpa out of a sound "dying " sleep.She 0pened her eyes and looked at something no one in the room saw. She said" really the thought Pete". Sarcastic tone. Then she went back to sleep. Passed a few hours later. My grandfather passed many years earlier. Umm. Maybe the Sarcastic tone was because they had been divorced a long long time. It would have been interesting to know what he told her.
You should have pursued that confusing issue about the snafu during your grandmother's surgery, and you would likely have won a settlement. That said, it would not have brought her back, but maybe expose unethical people who did not do a proper job. O well....too late now and your Nanna is likely in a great place ! Don't worry and let it all go......it is the past........She would want you to be happy !
Such a terrible thing you had to go through with your dearest Nanna. Good luck Dulcie.
L
B
My Mom was an only child raised in foster care and she had a fear of being alone in the world. She raised 5 kids and we are all close and Dad was great but had died 3 years before. So as my sister and I held her hands as she was dying in hospice, i got a sudden sense that she was afraid to go because she was afraid she woukd be alone (even though Dad had visited her a couple times in her last months) so I whispered in her ear Mom don't be afraid, you won't be alone, they are all there waiting for you. Dad, your Mom, your Dad, Grandma, Ethel, ( the list went on a bit) so go ahead. We'll be ok and we promise to behave. And just then she took a deeper breath like she was going to dive into a pool and she went. And we knew right away she was with them all, surrounded in love on both sides and in peace.
JOANNE CULLEN
I said the same things to my father.
He actually passed away with a smile on his face.
@@lorij6796 I whispered this into my Husband's ear, once all the kids were there. I told him it was OK to go, we would be ok, and we knew he would be watching over us, and that we loved him so very much. He took his last breath 10 minutes later. A half hour beforehand, the Hospice Nurse told us " This will be an all night thing". I told her " No, it won't, he's ready to go home".
@@reneet5858 My husband was dying of a brain tumour at home. Three of our sons were with us, but one had broken his leg and was absent. The wonderful nurse volunteered to drive to his home and bring him to our home. After he arrived, I told my husband that we were ALL with him…and it was ok to go home now (to God)…he took one last breath and left us, so peacefully.
💗💓💞
What a beautiful and perceptive daughter you had been to your Mom.
The doctor, speaking about the process of dying, has such a compassionate and kind way. He made me realise that He really
cares. How I wish to have a doctor like him when I depart.
2 things happened as my mom was in her last day. One of her brothers came to visit and mom was unresponsive at the time. Mom had always wanted to hear him say “I love you” and like many men of that generation, those were not easy words for him, but he did go in and tell her. He came out with tears in his eyes and said that mom had opened her eyes and smiled at him!! 2nd thing was just minutes before she died. She was struggling with every breath and I just held her hand and told her it was time to go dance with Jesus. I could feel her relax and in minutes she was gone.
I am very touched and grateful to everyone who has shared precious memories of the last moments of their loved ones dying. Nearly everyone had a similar story to tell, and it was very comforting and moving to read. Thank you. There are so many good people in the world.
My dad changed into a ventriloquist dummy when he died and we put him in a box 🤡👲🏽😂😂😂😂😂😂
When someone dear to me was close to death her wonderful hospice nurse told us that she was doing her inner work. I found that expression very powerful.
Inner work 🤔... I LOVE that... thank you for sharing that... you just changed my life♥️Bless you, how kind of you to share these words...🥰🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙋♀️♥️‼️
How comforting to think of it that way. Thank you.
In my mother's last hours I could see that she was preoccupied by something-she looked intrigued, head on one side. She was still able to speak a little and react to us, but there was something more interesting happening. The thought came to me that she was 'busy' with the business of dying. It would have been so like Mam to find it interesting.
@perpetually awesome Hi -- Yes "dumb" things people say sometimes is sad.
@@olwens1368 She was seeing her loved ones who passed before. They came to escort her to Heaven. Same thing happened to my mom. She was staring in the corner, looking intrigued.
Thank you for reminding us that God is fully involved in our passing. We are not alone.
As a hospice volunteer many years ago, I found favorite music to be calming to patient and family. A gentleman who we thought in coma, squeezed my hand when Christmas carols were sung in the hall.
Wat about pets to visit for last visit my mom was so happy when we took her dog in to visit he was scared but happy to see her
@@cynthiataylor8271 yes, yes I would want my little dog..but he passed few months ago. So sorry about your mom...I'm sure doggy made her happy.
There are several degrees of coma. Often patients will respond to certain stimuli, as music can be a trigger.
I love this doctor and that he mentions it is God bringing the dying person home. So true.
I too loved that the Dr said that Nancy. I agree with him ... that it is God calling the dying one Home.
@@stevethomas4353 depends...
I disagree, Nancy. You and millions of others may BELIEVE that "God is bringing the dying person home" but that statement is definitely NOT "So true." A "belief" is just that. Truth involves having FACTS and CERTAINTY, for starters. "Belief" has nothing to do with it.
@@rae0521 true...not everyone goes to be with God when they die. But those of us who believe in Jesus and accept Him as our savior, believe that we do. I cannot prove this to you as fact, as you said. I take this on faith. Shalom 🙏🙏
@@nancyd.6191 I'm curious... How do you decide what to take on faith and what not to?
I mean, when you're not using facts or legitimate evidence upon which to base your beliefs, what do you use? Hunches? Intuition? Tea leaves? What others have told you either in words or writing?
I love the way this Dr. says, “God’s calling you home.” Very true, and comforting. I worked with home-hospice patients, back in 1990s, always remember..🙏♥️🙏♥️🙏♥️🕊♥️🕊♥️🕊
Thanks dear Doctor for mentioning multiple times “God’s calling them home.” I deeply believe it is what’s happening. Thank you both for sharing. Blessings to you both!
Rita Miller, I agree. My mom was a survivor of Stage 4 colorectal cancer,twice. She was given 6-9 months both times, and even quit the chemo for good in her 2nd trial, because she hated the way it made her feel. She asked to be released from treatment before going to visit my sister who lived in California at the time. The doctor approved the release, and when she returned from her trip, she got wonderful news--no evidence of new disease!! For the next almost 30 years, she remained cancer-free!! She was always praying, and it was truly miraculous!!
Yes it touched my heart too what a wonderful sensitive man he is... Respect.
GLORY TO GOD!
Amen 🙏
That is exactly how I felt also. What a wonderful thing to hear a doctor use and obviously believe "God is calling them home!"
My dad saw all his relatives that had gone before him. He was trying to talk with them. He was very restless and agitated. My mom and two sisters were at his bedside. He told them to quit talking because he couldn’t hear the heavenly beings telling him how to cross over. My sister asked if her husband was there (he had died several years before) and my dad said yes. She told my dad to go with her husband as she knew he would be in heaven. He settled down then and and peacefully passed over. 🙏🏼✝️💫✨🌟✨🌟✨🌟✨🌟
Thank you for sharing this with us. 🙏🏻💕
Amazing story ...peace to you and your family
Hallelujah, your Dad bears witness to Jesus and The Bible even in his death. How wonderful his loved ones were there waiting for him. Can you imagine we will see Jesus face to face? I am sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing your father's testimony. It is so inspiring.🙏💐
I so needed to hear this tonight. My Mother has been under hospice care since the eight of November today is the twentieth. She has not had a drop of water or food. Just the morphine. This Doctor is an angel in disguise for his caring and compassion. I feel so much better now. I am a child of God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit and I love the fact and it made me feel more at ease when you said God's name. Thank you so very much you have helped me more than you can ever know. Blessings to you both.
I just went through home hospice care with my wife, stage 4 liver cancer. This was and still is the most heart wrenching ordeal that I’ve ever experienced. Even knowing the stages and medical issues, as a retired paramedic and fire captain, it was hard to watch and see her passing a little more day by day and near the end, last 24 hours, hour by hour. The hospice personnel made this a bearable and loving experience although heartbreaking. Life is a journey! Really well done video.
GOD Bless and comfort you Grant. As a cancer patient, that is my greatest fear and concern, worrying about the toll my end of days will take on my Husband. I will Pray for you tonight along with my prayers for my family.🙏✝️❤️🌻
Mr. Grove - It doesn't matter how much experience and ability one has when one's own heart has been pierced. You gave her a good life and were by her side. At the end, that is worth everything.. Blessings, sir.
@@rosaliegmaye8539 I will pray for you and your family, too, Ma'am. You are going to Paradise as the God who made you is calling you home. The family isn't there yet and it's always much pain for them, even believing in our Lord, because they don't get to go yet. We know Him. He will take care of your loved ones for you. Because He loves them even more than you do. Be at peace, as you comfort your loved ones.
Grant you are truly a good man and may God Bless you as you continue your journey. It was a gut wrenching experience for you and your wife. Just know that she is at a better place.
I lost my husband to a rare cancer also, prayers from Mississippi
I did not know my husband was dying, though I saw decline in abilities with each stroke over 24+ years. About 3 months before his death he had another (many over 24 years) stroke, and when I told his MD's office, the nurse asked me if he was actively dying then...I had no idea what it was and told her that I was his wife, not his doctor and had no way of knowing - that was early January of 2021. I did not know what it meant until seeing this today, June 16, 2021. He passed March 1, 2021. He did not show any of the symptoms you mentioned. I had no idea it was so close, but we were home, together, as he wanted it to be. His last words were 'I love you'. He as he spoke them, raised his right hand in the ASL sign for 'I love you' as it was something we'd done our whole marriage - we'd sign that while we met each other on the road, him as he delivered oil and me as I drove school bus as a substitute...he put his arm down, and he was gone. EMS confirmed it a short time later...but none of the things you listed here fit his passing...I would not have known it was happening. God just knew he'd suffered enough. I will see him again, our marriage will resume, when Jesus resurrects him and takes us home with Him. Blessings.
that is beautiful, thank you for sharing.
Everyone’s story is a bit different… my loving wife was dying in the hospital, then admitted her to Hospice where she was finally treated with dignity…I just didn’t know how close to death she was…
My son and his wife were across town giving birth and rushed over to show her our new granddaughter…upon arrival, she put her arm up on the air with her index finger pointing up… my granddaughter squeezed her little hand to that finger……..It was an amazing moment that will stay with me forever. Norma was gone at 6am the next day, with me by her side.
I’m convinced that she waited until she met our granddaughter to pass…
I took a "death and dying" course in college, and one thing I didn't hear in this discussion that seems important to know is that saying someone's full name (as part of your soothing conversation) is very special for them to hear as they are preparing to leave us. We don't typically address each other that way, so we don't hear our full names all that often, but it can give a great feeling of meaning as to their importance to us and to the contributions they've made to this life on earth. It's a confirmation of sorts, and something comforting to their heart and mind. I've always remembered that.
Many people I know don't feel their name belongs to them and prefer to not identify with their name
So, I'd play it by ear. Also would it be the maiden name or married name, for a married woman? Difficult to know unless their response/expression suggests it does evoke comforts and peace...
@@annacsillag7247 "Many people you know" prefer not to identify with their name? Interesting. I can't think of a single person who falls into a category like that. Regardless, I have to assume that if you're at the bedside of someone in the end of life stage, holding their hand, providing comfort, etc. it stands to reason that they are a loved one with whom you've shared a portion, if not all, of your life. (Unless perhaps you're in the healthcare industry and this person is sadly passing away alone.) Typically, there isn't a lot of guess work here, or having to play it by ear. I'm simply sharing what I learned from those who are well versed on the subject.
@@jlnriddick because you're not adopted, didn't grow up in foster care or don't come from a lineage of enslaved people who lost their African names and were given Scottish or English ones? I was by the bedside of someone all week who died a few hours ago so I will end my message here and hope humility isn't foreign to you for when you next reply to someone you don't share an experience with.
@@annacsillag7247 Regardless of someone's back story, it's presumed you are at this person's bedside due to the relationship you share with them, hence... this is not a stranger to you. If there are issues, you know to avoid them.
As a long time palliative care nurse, I don’t agree with the necessity of saying the full name to the person…many women change their last names that it really isn’t their name…first names are enough. People often feel they have to say something profound, and find this difficult. I tell them just tell the patient that they love them…that is enough. My best friend died a few days ago, and as I was hugging her just before she passed, I told her “I love you so much, thank you for loving me”…she smiled and hugged me back and was gone a few minutes later.
Thank you for this. As my husband was passing away due to COVID pneumonia, me being dressed in the PPE, got to hold his hand and I felt him squeeze my hand. I was told it was more of a bodily response, but after hearing this, I’m going to believe it was him doing this. The other part that stood out was when you said the morphine helps alleviate the difficult breathing process as being off all the equipment now, it was hard to breathe. He passed away within 10 minutes after being taken off the equipment. I held his hand and talked to him the whole time. Thank you for this video. I do appreciate it.
I’m very sorry for your loss.
It was him I’m sure. I’m sorry for your loss🙏🏻
My momma just passed from covid pneumonia Sept. 26th, 2021. She was 57 and I am 23 her youngest daughterof 5. I was very blessed to have a similar experience being with her and holding her hand. I read psalm 23-24 and sang worship songs to her and we prayed to God to wrap her in a blanket of comfort, strength and take any fear away.. over and over again throughout this time between songs.. It was heartbreaking but also the most beautiful thing I've experienced in my life. I sang the lily of the valley which was her favorite song. Before the song was over I told her not to tarry to go see Jesus. Within minutes (she was strongly holding my hand till after she passed) I could feel an emptiness that once filled her body and I saw and felt her spirit leaving her body and going upward. Even after she was gone her hand so tightly held mine unlike the other one and other parts of her body that were limp. I eventually had to pry her hand off mine. I didn't stay long after that since I knew her spirit was with Jesus.
@@iiamthej5911 Oh my, Bless your heart.
Sept 26th would have been my husband’s 75th birthday.
I understand what you meant when you said it was both heartbreaking and Beautiful. Sounds like you gave your mother a beautiful send off. I am so glad you were with her. May she Rest In Peace in God’s blanket of comfort.
@@joycependleton589 Wow, what a touching coincidence. I pray God continues to give you an armour of strength and blanket of comfort during this time. I know it filled his heart to have you with him during his last moments here. It really was exactly what she wanted and needed 💛 now she's with Jesus. Even though I didn't want her to go and I begged God to not take her I know his timing is best and I will never be able to thank him enough for giving me and her the strength and comfort and peace through her last moments here. With him the "worst day of my life" ended up being one of my greatest memories I will cherish forever. I love her so dearly. Thank you for replying, I hope you have a great day. God bless.
......one of the first things I commented on in the spring of 2020 when all the panic was setting was this: apparently most people had never seriously understood that they ARE going to die. It seems that alot of the panic during the year arose out of the fear that resulted from this apparently shocking discovery.
My husband died in 2014 from a primary liver cancer. He was dressed and active until the last hour and went to bed late on a Saturday night about an hour before he died. We had about three minutes of realizing he was leaving us. Really amazing to see how strong he continued to be through that very last day, the day he made his last necessary trip to Home Depot to purchase a faucet to be installed in my kitchen, and then giving our son instructions about the details of how to do that. It was amazing. And we were amazingly blessed to have that kind of ending.
It was almost exactly three months from the diagnosis until the day he left.
🙏🏽
Yes u were blessed we aren't getting it that easy with my dad he doesn't know who i am when i saw him yesterday but told my mom i didn't come up to see him at the hospital .his death is going to be the worst i think I've probably witnessed out of our whole family and it's more than i can take. My mom is an angel she's at his side at the hosp 6 hours or more everyday but only 1 person is allowed up at a time on the icu floor we can't even be together at the same time until right at the end. I've said my goodbyes and released him a couple days ago I'm 48 years old but i feel like a little girl inside. It's horrible knowing there's nothing u can do to end their suffering except watch it okay out like a bad movie
Sharon, that is amazing. What I’d call a good death. My mother has primary liver cancer, diagnosed in mid-March. They told us she likely had 2-4 months to live. She’s fading some, but seems fairly steady. I’ve even questioned the diagnosis! So I was interested to read about your husband being so active until the end. My mother is nearly 89 years old. I pray she is blessed like your husband was.
Death is just a step out of the organic body we have been into ; anything natural has to be good. No fear of death here. BTW, Covid is really bio-warfare, if you do a little research. Pandemic ? well sort of.....but mostly a bio-warfare. Looks like your husband had the right idea.....you go when the work is done...How clever ! .
I am retired now, but I worked for a hospice for 17 years and we are still learning about dying every day. One interesting point I would like to add is that research has shown that when patients are given the choice to add pain medication themselves via an implanted pump, they tend to use less medication than when they must ask for help from caregivers. For one, by self-administering the medication, they do it at the first onset of pain, when it is more effective and thus requires far less of a dosage. But perhaps more importantly, the patients know that their time is short, and they choose to stay conscious as long as they possibly can tolerate the pain, rather than be knocked unconscious to a point where they feel they may not come back. Being in charge of pain administration removes the anxiety which seems to require less medication. Another thing I remember is that when patients refuse food, it must never be forced on them, because their digestive systems are among the first things that shut down, and pouring food into a system that is no longer functioning feels like concrete is being poured into their stomachs. My supervisor noticed that some of the nurses or aides attempted to force-feed patients, and those were well-meaning, but obese aides, who acted out of compassion, but with the mistaken idea that food equals comfort, which it does not with the dying, but it's more like torture. One other thing I remember is the case of a Saudi Arabian patient dying at the hospice with the entire family attending the patient. Upon her death, the family wailed and wept loudly, they tore their clothes, and scratched their faces until they were bleeding. The notes in the patient's chart stated that the family was "dysfunctional." I did some research and found that their culture demands that this is the way to show respect to the dead and the grieving family. Perhaps a short chapter on cultural differences about how to deal with death and the dying should be required for hospice professionals.
I have heard that sometimes a dying person will say very cruel and hurtful things to loved ones. have you known this to happen ?
@@margaretheard9628 I have never heard of this. This doesn't mean it can't happen, but if it were common, I probably would have heard of it.
On my dad's death certificate it died
It said lack of will to survive
The notes are CORRECT this is dysfunctional and inappropriate. I am not from Saudi, but am Arab and Muslim (as I am assuming these other "culture" people were) and these actions are prohibited. Back in the days prior to Islam it was common to do this for your stated comments, but after Islam came it is allowed to be sad and cry (as we all have hearts) but the full blown dramma show is NOT a show of anything but ignorance. We accept God's decree and know we will all return to Him.
Dying and death are something that most people cannot talk about. Many are afraid that if they say the word “death” someone who they care deeply for will die unexpectedly. My husband and his family are beginning to experience long term illness, mind you, this was a group of people who never thought that death would ever happen. I on the other hand was born to older parents and death was often something that I saw as a young child. Having been able to know only one grandparent (only knowing him for 8 years) is what stilled my reckoning with the inevitability of life’s numbered days.
I’m not sure how Google’s algorithms got me to your channel but I am glad that I found you. Most people would run away from this channel but your content is a vital and very important thing for everyone.
I was also born to parents who were 40 + when I was born. My father had been through many health issues but he did survive his ship being hit by Kamikaze planes off Okinawa leaving him in the ocean for 2 days waiting to be rescued. I was born on the same day as him and he left me way too soon. I did not know any of my grandparents, one died when I was 2. I later became a hospice volunteer after caring for my mother for over 15 years in my home. I was happy my kids got to see her every day to keep her happy but it was difficult for me as my 2 brother's would not even watch her when we had to fly to my mother in law's funeral. Both were nearby and had room but refused. I believe that's why I became a volunteer, to help out those that have nobody.
When I have observed someone dying, I think it’s a process. Just as a baby being born is a process, so to me, dying is a process because the person is being born into a new reality. I have been with my father and my mother in law as they were dying.
That is beautiful and I believe a very accurate description of the birth/death process.
Death is just another journey of life. We don’t know where we’re going or what to expect, that is the scary part. But, if we have faith (each religion is different in their beliefs here), just like in life we had a path, a journey if you will, then why wouldn’t we have one after? Food for thought. IMO.
It is a process that gets radically cut out during trauma deaths. It probably takes a while to get over these, on the other side. I guess they have fourth dimension hospitals when these passing souls may recover. I read that, somewhere in my esoteric researches. I still feel I would prefer the sudden traumatic death instead of a slow one, laying around and unable to move. I am not seeing that......
My twin sister lived with me for the last month of her life. An identical twin connection is so difficult to explain other than "love is bigger, you feel everything, you know somehow everythingis to be with a best friend".
We fought brain tumours together. When she would be in hospital "asleep" I called it; she would squeeze my hand. It was the best gift ever.
I showed her photos and described the stories of them, even though her eyes were closed but I knew me and I knew her too well even though
"she was asleep" as I put it. To my surprise I was showing her a pic of mum which we always laughed about - she WOKE UP started laughing, looked at me, smiled and "went back to sleep".
Her last night at home "I knew" I had a sense of be with her all night in a much more "us way". Its a feeling I can't describe other than you are my world and I will give you everything to be with you. She was in pain, I said I would take her to the hospital but she looked at me in a way I've never seen, and said "not yet".
That was our last night before hospice.
so we snuggled up in bed; as she was having brain seizures and I didn't know if she would recognise me after them, if she could move, if she could talk, understand, or what her condition would be after each one. I just had to hold her, love her, make us cups of tea when she asked for one(*and I was still amazed at her ability to be) and unbelievably we flicked through magazines, she would sleep a bit, i would hug and watch her. We even talked in Italian - I was amazed at her will to be and share what she could. She would doze, I would watch her breathing. I tried to hide my "not knowing" I wanted her to have "us as normal as we would be. " she woke up and said "thank you for being my sister." There are no words for that.
bless her, she was holding on for our birthday - she passed exactly1 wk before it, we were 36
. I told her we had heaps of birthdays, we don’t need any more and its ok, you don't need to wake up any more, you don't need to do anything any more - you have done everything in your life perfectly in your own way. Every decision was the right one, for you, when you made them. (Including a new kettle bc it was super pretty!)
I held her hand, I "felt" her going a little bit each day.
When the time came i felt pure joy for her and told her all the angels were there and God was here. I said "you go hun, you go now, hold his hand".
And she stopped breathing.
Touching.
Thank you for sharing such a beautiful and touching story, having gone through a similar experience this resonated so much 💕
Thank y’all for this video. I’m currently in the position of my Mother’s caregiver n we are exactly at this juncture. She’s in active dying phase. My family n I are keeping vigil with her. We are doing hospice at home. We’re administering morphine n keeping her comfortable n surrounded by love. She’s been in this state since last Sunday. We’re surprised she’s holding on but we understand there’s a reason. She can go when she’s ready.💝 We are having a hard time because we don’t know if she’s suffering. The hospice workers that visit to check on us n the status are all telling us we’re doing a great job they can see she’s resting peaceful. We’re committed to making her transition peaceful and full of love. I’m home for a minute to shower n I gotta got back. Say a prayer for us. This is so hard. Thank you for this great video. ✨👍🏼💝
@@jjshoot2425 , Thank you. She transitioned on November 1st. . My sister and I were each holding her hands as she passed. Seems like yesterday. I miss her dearly but I know she’s with her loved ones and no longer suffering with Alzheimer’s. It’s a wretched disease.
Yes, I agree Alzheimer's is a horrid disease for the patient, and for the loved ones. Know your mom must have found comfort in her children, and her passing. It's a gift you were able to be there when God welcomed her home. Prayers for you and your family.
Live well for her. I still talk to mother-in-law, especially when I'm cooking. I couldn't do it without her
🙏🙏🙏💖👐⚓
@@ritaflatt7605 , Our Beloved Mother transitioned on November 1st.. She went peacefully with my sister n I by her side, each of us holding a her hands. The grief comes in waves n my sisters are both having a real hard time. That’s not to say that I’m not but I think I’m in a different place when it comes to death. I’m one to keep it to myself. I feel a peaceful feeling for her n I know she’s with her loved ones. I get little n big signs all the time that she’s happy n at peace. I say thank you every time. 💝✨💝
Thank you for reading my comments n thank you for your reply. 💝🌎💝
It is 3 a.m. and I'm sitting at my husband's 99 yr old aunts bedside in the new lift chair that we surprised her with and she has thoroughly enjoyed. She has congestive heart failure and went from independent living to assisted living on the same campus last month after the hospital social worker erred and sent her here instead of rehab next door. (A 3-5 day trip to settle her in to rehab and prep for a move to AL is closing in on 2 months.) She is now on hospice, her lungs are clearly filling, she is struggling to breath and we just pray that she is comfortable until the end....however long that transition period may be. This video and comments are comforting to me as I sit here in near darkness with this dear, amazing soul. Just the two of us, until my husband, her nephew awakes from a much needed rest. We will always cherish this time with her, going through old photos from her childhood and her adventures abroad. An amazing life well lived and hopefully a peaceful transition into the next. 🥰🥰
As a nurse since 1975, I have been at the bedside when my patients have passed. Dr Bush is right-on! When I have a patient who is "actively dying," I always make a big effort to be that person at the end, which sometimes just doesn't happen due to other patients needing their care, too. I believe that the last thing a dying patient feels is not sound, but touch. Nevertheless, I speak to them, comfort them, & when appropriate, I pray with them. All the while I'm holding their hands, which communicates a lot. Yes, I've given morphine to those dying & feel like I'm ameliorating the death experience. I have been privileged to have been at the death of so many & their passing in comfort with someone by their sides. In addition, those who we successfully resuscitated, I ask about any experience while coding & the same answer comes to me: yes, they did see God. They felt His loving embrace as they started living again. They're not so frightened the next time around. They gave me the gift of death to respond to.
My husband was in hospital ..left to die in his own Urine ..bed linen Soaked while nurses stood at the desk talking ..no Compassion
My husband was in hospital ..left to die in his own Urine ..bed linen Soaked while nurses stood at the desk talking ..no Compassion
@@angelamary9493 that's horrible. So sorry that happened. This is one of the reasons why I want to be by my Mom's side all the time.
Thank you.
@@angelamary9493 0
This video came up randomly. But I think it is God's way of reassuring me. My daughter 37 years old died in June of brain cancer. I looked after her until her death. Two days before she died I phone Hospice because she wasn't eating and it freaked me out. And just before she died I gave her her last dose of morfine. And I thought it was because I gave her the morfine that she died. Thank you Dr for giving me the reassurance that I did my best. I loved my daughter and would have given anything to save her. I would have died in her place if I could 😭
My mother recently passed away; she went through the described stages exactly. Now I understand and know that my mom did not suffer. Thanks so much for the information.
I was told that sometimes they will call out to people in their life that had already passed. My dad did that. Also, something that everyone should do, especially if it’s a parent, thank them for all they’ve done for you.
My Father called out to his brother Sam, whom we didn't ever speak much of (but was loved).
Thank you for this explanation. This fall my husband who,had been dealing with weakness, shortness of breath, pain and memory speaking, started to escalate, he was so angry because he had always been a strong person. He refused his medication and didn’t want to eat. We had talked about dying, so when he just couldn’t function anymore, the hospital had diagnosed him with cancer and called in hospice. They were wonderful and helped us understand what was going on. Before he got to bad we called in all the kids for a weekend with there dad. My daughter and I stayed with him to the end. I could enter the room and get a smile and a wink. We have been so glad we kept him at home, we could be with him constantly . This was when Covid was at its peak and they were not allowing families in with their loved ones . Thank you lord for bringing hospice, and wonderful people to help.
Im sorry for ur loss. What kind of cancer did thet say it was. Rip
Death is a bit sad cause we miss those lost. My husband, I'm not sure what's going on. He had a mini-stroke 2 weeks ago but he is refusing ALOT of the Dr orders and has lost 45 pounds in 1 month. He talks like your husband did. He's angry about getting old, wetting uncontrollably, and well....no salute. He said he has no desire to eat like he used to. Now, half a burger gets him full.
I just don't know what to say.
We are going through this right now with me 33yr old nephew. It is complicatioks from covid. We were just told that they are taking him off life support. All we can do is pray he is at peace and will be with God and passed on loved ones soon
I was fortunate to be with both my Mother and Father at their deaths. I’m not sure all of my siblings would say that is fortunate, but I do! My Mother was a geriatric nurse for over 30 years, retired, then returned as a hospice nurse three months later! I learned a lot from her and in my reading. I wanted both my parents to experience what Native Americans called “A Good Death”. So, in the end, for both of them….their favorite music was playing in the background as I held their hands and told them we loved them, and it was OK to go. They both went peacefully, and I will never regret the time it took to be with them at the end!
My husband was in hospice care at home in a familiar room. What I am most grateful for is how the team included our 6 year old grandson. He was in charge of welcoming guest and giving his grandfather sips of ice water, including his last. My husband used to say all a person should wish for is someone would care enough to give them a glass of water. Hospice allowed this child to not be traumatized. It is now a year and half and he speaks of him and he sometimes says he is sad and misses him. But he seems to ccept the that it was a comforting transition he was a part of. The team did a handprint activity he will tradure this forever. His grandfather hand with his. One that patted his head, or hugged him
.
Heartwarming, insightful staff
team. To actively participate in death transition is as beautiful as witnessing the birthing of a newborn baby. Being with that special someone is truly a divine moment especially when it is the end of their suffering.
What a touching story that brought tears to my eyes. A wonderful, peaceful end of life experience for your husband and a meaningful, memorable one for your grandson. The handprint project will no doubt be cherished for the remainder of his life!! RIP Grandpa.
This is beautiful! Thank you for sharing these words. My daughter went with her father to his dads bedside at end of life. She wanted to give him water and listen as he spoke of how he wanted things to go. She was ushered out of the room by other family members. She would have had such a good memory if the situation had been as your grandsons. God bless you. 🙏✝️
I, as an only child, was with both my parents 24/7 in their final days. Both has well managed pain and passed very peacefully. Being there up close during the last days allowed me to pre-grieve and get closure. God bless Hospice 😇
The hospice angels for my dad were awesome. I sung to my dad that he was my sunshine and held his hand. I thanked him for his guidance in life. Talking about this makes me cry. My dad was so much fun. I miss him so much.
My mom passed away in 2016, and she was actively dying for 13 days wouldn't let them give her water and food, signed it when she found out she had cancer.
If I could have one wish it would be that everyone would have a Dr. Bush to be their physician. God Bless you in your very, very important work. Thank you for making this video
My mother-in-law lives with me and my husband. She has dementia and is under Hospice care. In her dreams she often sees deceased family members and she has given us vivid details about those dreams. She often awakens with an incredibly happy and peaceful look on her face. She sleeps most of the time now and is eating less and less. Glad to know her hearing is likely still intact. We will continue to read aloud to her from her favorite prayer book. Thank you for this wonderful video. I find it very helpful.
When my Mother was put into hospice I went with her and slept on a cot in her room right next to her bed holding her hand every night telling her that I would not leave her. It was so comforting to be there with her during those last precious moments of her life. Hospice care was amazing and the facility we were in was so beautiful. I spoke to my Mother to let her know I was there, and I knew her time was close on that last day .
I spoke to her softly, telling her what a wonderful Mother she was and how much I appreciated everything she has done for me. How lucky I was for growing up in such a structured home with the most loving parents. I told her that it was ok to go to Daddy and that he is waiting for her and is going to dance with her when she gets there. I told her that my Daughter and I will be ok and that she has done everything she needs to do here. I told her to look for the light and go towards it. She actually started to heavily frown and I knew she could hear me. It was one of the most precious moments of my life. This is when I knew for certain there is a God!
Trust me, when that time comes, make sure you tell that person everything you want to say to them. They hear you! You need to talk to them, let them know they are not alone and that you Love them.
'Thank you for this video! The gentleman in this video was wonderful!
There is a wonderful book, “The True Work of Dying,” that compares the dying process to the birthing process. It is written by medical professionals and gives both medical and emotional information about the experience.
When my husband was dying of cancer, and later my father of old age, I found it helpful to think of them being born into the next part of their existence. While I haven’t experienced death, I have given birth, and the information just made sense to me as I was supporting my loved ones in their transitions. Peace.
It is and reincarnation is real and I myself have no plan to come back in another body. I am working on that refusal........No more human bodies !!!!!! done.
It's amazing how we are all taught about the miracle of birth but we are never taught about the miracle of death. As heartbreaking as it was to watch someone I love go through the dying process it was almost an amazing thing to witness. I was given a booklet from hospice that explained the stages of dying and the process was almost page by page.
@@linanicolia1363 what do you want to come back as?
@@BAndros214 4
@@BAndros214 I love that-“The miracle of death…” Peace.
As a nurse I have seen many patients that have a period of “awakening” where they may be more responsive, alert, talking, answering questions, unusual compared to recent level of consciousness. This doesn’t seem to last long and families tend to think the patient is getting better. Doesn’t happen to everyone.
Please let families know the patient doesn’t feel hunger. At times the medical team will push having feeding tube and I have heard them say “ well you don’t want the patient to feel hungry and starve” This is a great disservice to the family, to pile on some guilt, even though the pt’s papers may say no tube.
Thank you for going over these things and particularly that pain management is important. Though the patient may not be saying they’re in pain, they may be.
They know that they are changing into ventriloquist dummies and they will be put into a box 🤡👲🏽😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
@Terrie - when a patient has a 'better' moment do things get worse quickly ? My daughter acted that way on a Saturday after having a TIPS procedure done and three days later she passed away.
@@toddb930 sorry for your loss. I can’t imagine how difficult it must have been to lose your child.
that’s a hard question. Unfortunately the answer is, it varies. My grandmother died within a couple hours, but I’ve seen patients last for several days, but not “waking up” again. Each person is so different.
Recently, my niece held on for several hours and as soon as her mother left the room for 5 min she stopped breathing and passed.
When my Mom was passing away, I talked to the hospice nurse. They put a morphine pump on her arm and said she would just pass peacefully. This was around 10:30 pm a d no sooner than the nurse left my Mom sat up on the side of the bed and wanted to chat with each of her children. There was 5 of us. I’m greatful she did this. She told me how much she appreciated me for taking care of her and all that I had done for her and how much she loved me. I will always remember this. This was at 3:30 in the morning and I was the first one she chatted with. Ai along she wasn’t supposed to be able to drink or swallow anything and she drank a whole 2 liter of Pepsi. She said she would leave the world drinking a Pepsi. That was her favorite drink. Around 5:30 am we put her in her recliner chair where she was finally resting and she passed away at 8:25am. That was on December 31, 2014. I remember my sister in law telling her it was the last day of the year and Mama told her you’re right it’s the last day. I sure miss her. She told the Hospice Chaplain the she wanted a fast and peaceful death and I would have to say that is absolutely what she was granted. I thank God for that.
She was a rich woman
Hugs to you and your family!💖💖💖
you're lucky. the last thing MY mother said to me was "If you say you love me one more time, I'm going to slap you" I was there alone when she died, knowing she would have rather had any of my siblings than me. Of course the only one that DID come at all is my sister. My three brothers 'couldn't handle it'.
@@teampenit there were 5 of us and we were all there when she passed away. They all worked except me so I was the one with her all the time. I and I wouldn’t trade it for the world. I carried her everywhere she wanted to go. Went to lunch somewhere every day up until the Friday before she died on Wednesday morning. I miss her everyday.
@@teampenit So sorry - that must have been so hard for you!
Comfort yourself that you did what you could for her, even though it was hard
I hope when I get old and I am dying,I would like someone to bring me a kitten!! That will definitely comfort me more than anything!!!!
Very lovely how sweet
True! I feel the same and would bring you the sweetest little kitten in the universe but I’m 83 years old! Hopefully, your request will be fulfilled. Meet me on the other side, a long time from now. I’m sure all 13 of my beloved dogs and 5 cats are waiting at Heaven’s Gates. 🐾🐾 God be with you, dear.❤️
That's.... delightful. I truly hope you have made your family aware!!
There are therapy animals that come to hospice. They're wonderful and so comforting. I hope it's a long long time before you need the kitten but I know it will help. I've had to say later on to my animals and I stay with them while it's happening. I look forward to the reunion at the rainbow bridge someday and hope I have one with me when I make the journey.
@@joyflavell7385 You are lovely, Joy. Thank you 💕
While my mother was actively dying in the last few weeks of leukemia, food wasn’t an option. She sipped a type of liquid that had some ingredients and nutrients all natural ..nothing high in sugar or salt ..nothing with mucus like dairy .. she did not talk for the last 7 days of her life.. when I left her bedside from my evening shift .. I got the call she was ‘leaving’ at 5am the next morning.. I was at first rushing and breaking speed limits to get there.. but then something came over me , I felt her , my body shook and I couldn’t stay on the road.. I pulled over and I could feel she was gone .. I arrived 20 minutes later , she had already been given the high final dose of morphine and was at final rest at she requested. Thank you for this hard talk.
He explains so beautifully. God bless him for being so gentle
What a beautiful man, and his explanation is so full of love and respect
a doctor who believes in God really warms my heart
Indeed!
Amen
I wish I had seen this last December. I took care of my mom and she went thru this exact process. The only thing was that I didn't know exactly what was happening to her. Thank you for the explanation.
My Daddy is 93, and generally in fairly good health. But my siblings and I are aware that God could call him home at any time. This information is so valuable! Thank you for this!
I laid down beside my dad in his actively dying phase. He had an esophageal cancer. I just hold his hand, communicate and pray with him which never been in my life we were so close as a father-daughter. I am so thankful to God for that precious moment, even in his last seconds.
Let’s be real. Morphine depresses respiration it’s the side effect. But when you are in the waiting room for heaven it’s kinder to do so. Morphine is a great comfort for many and also for family. By the time you need morphine you don’t want to be hanging around. It’s time to go.
I agree. People generally are not afraid of dying, they are frightened that it will be painful. In my opinion, Morphine gives the comfort of being pain free. My father’s doctor gave this to my father who died at home (his choice) and I bless his name. I hope that when my time comes, some kind doctor will do the same for me.
@@worldgonemad1977 Bless your father's doctor for easing the dying process. It would seem terrifying to be losing your ability to breath.
That’s not necessarily true. Morphine can help you breath easier. Too much of it can kill you. Not everyone on a morphine pump is dying. It is also used for pain management for cancer and after surgery. I was on a morphine pump for over a month and that was 28 years ago.
Janice Field It depends on the dose. And it can be accumulative. Of course it’s not just used for pain it’s used to relax the muscles and other things too. Depends too on your tolerance wether you have taken other drugs or alcohol before or have a dependency. The discussion in this instance was for comfort of the dying. I have a Masters in Palliative care. I think I knew what I was writing about in relation to the side effects.
Janice Field I’m retired but I can assure you we always do the very best we can for those in the waiting room of heaven. I am glad you appreciated your loved ones care. It would have been a pleasure to those who looked after them.
This came up at time when most needed. I'm currently caring for my elderly mother and she is heading towards the end of her life. Having this information has given me some tools to be able to provide better care for her. From Debra in Australia
Sending you strength at this challenging and heartbreaking time. She's so lucky to have you!
I was with my mother too. It’s a wonderful thing to do.
Thank you both. It's definitely not an easy time. Watching a once vibrant and head strong woman slowly withering away. Mum still has a lot fight in her and is fighting to stay as strong as possible for us.
I hope you find it encouraging to be able to help your mother as she passes on with comforting things such as reading, singing to her, combing her hair, putting lotion on her, making sure she’s warm, talking about beautiful memories, anything you would wish be done for you. She will feel supported and strengthened to begin the journey onward. Find bless your time together
@perpetually awesome I'm sad to hear that you're in such a position. Sending you love and prayers and Hoping you are in a better place.
My grandfather was in critical care due to chronic
lung disease. He was moved to Hospice and family notified. They knew it was just a matter of time.
The 4 th day, my relatives were shocked - Grandpa was sitting up in bed, eating watching his Red Sox game, chattering to everyone like nothing was wrong.He went to sleep 4 days later, peacefully. He always had such a sense of humour.
A note my aunt found with his belongings read
" I am up in God's country,
fishing.and now I can fish in peace with no complaints".
Thank you for sharing, he really must have been a joyful handful.sending prayers for you and your family
I'll never forget the experience, sitting with both my Grandma and Grandpa at the end. Especially with my Grandpa that last night. He was unable to communicate, but when I asked him if he wanted a cowboy movie his eyelids moved, and it was the same when I asked him if he wanted one of his preachers on the TV. I don't fear death anymore, it's peaceful in my experience
Dr many thanks for the information. You have mentioned hearing and feeling are sound till end of earthly life. Why then do medical staff send away family members in the dying minutes
My younger sister was in Hospice for 4 days. She went thru all the stages you mentioned. It was peaceful. I played her favorite hymns and her closest friends visited.I’ll always miss her.
I was with my Dad the last 3 days. Held his hand on his last breath. Hospice nurse told me she was with another patient dying….. thank God my husband and I were with him!
When my mom was actively dying I spoke to her although she was in a coma. I told her what a good mama she was, how she would be seeing Jesus soon, how much she was loved. I watched her eyes going back and forth as in a dream state, like she was watching a movie.. I loved talking to her. I did think she might tell me to be quiet a couple of times. That made me smile. I miss her very much
Bless your heart ,sounds to me she had a good daughter 🌹♥️
‘Actively dying’ when a person starts seeing & talking to dead immediate relatives.
Not actually true. They can start seeing their relations months before, even a year, just depends.
My mom saw her people several days before she passed... she had such a faraway look in her eyes and great joy on her face... I know they were ones she was so over joyed to see! 3 days later she left... it was a very spiritual experience I treasure...
@@suecastillo4056 💖
I hope I see all the ancestors I've found doing family history, the ones I've spent time making sure they are in the right family groups.
@Do no harm Right? Had to be past people… family that she missed? Who had gone before her? Can only guess… it was a privilege to see that though… there were a bunch of us in the house and it was like none of us existed… total focus on what she saw…🤔🦋. No explanation only those leaving know…🤗😘
As a Nurse, many patients take so long to die. It's amazing. No food, fluid and still living. I've held their hands and said" it's OK you've done enough here. It's time to go home." They usually die in an hour. People need to know it's OK to go HOME
I asked for all the information concerning active dying when my Momma was under hospice care in a nursing home. If I'd been told what to expect it would have been much easier for me to handle. Instead I was worried Momma was suffering & that the morphine was hastening her death. As different symptoms presented themselves I went on high alert & was scared. The hospice nurses only told me about the "death rattle" & that Momma could still hear me.
The entire process would have been much easier for me if I'd know what to expect. I researched the death process afterwards so when my husband passed over the next year I was prepared & informed other family members as to what to expect.
Society teaches us all kinds of things about living, but doesn't teach us about death & dying.
That absolutely must be changed!
Thank you so much for the comfort you provide to dying patients & their families! And for educating us about actively dying.
You're compassion is extraordinary to me.
God bless every hospice worker!✌💕🙏
When I stood by the bedside I was a very dear friend of mine we were talking I was telling him how beautiful heaven was he had asked me to get him a drink can I ask the doctor can you please have a drink the doctor informed me that he was going to be passing within the next 5 minutes to just let him have an ice cube on his lips it was extremely extremely emotional to me the doctor said that he was fighting so I told Francis I love you and you have worked hard your whole life I told him not to worry about me I felt as though he was worrying about me so I took my fingers and I put them down his eyes and I said Francis I love you I will see you on the other side don't worry about me it's time for you to rest and then Francis past I went running out of the hospital I have just lost my best friend I took it extremely hard for he is one that I just and not forget he left me like I was his daughter I love you Francis I will see you on the other side
I said goodbye to my father less than a year ago, and while I wish I had seen this beforehand, I can say this is very true what is said in this video. Dad died peacefully with his children all there the day prior to his passing and I can appreciate that time with him. Thank you for sharing. Say what you need to say before your loved one dies, and have no regrets later. It's a time for peace, not fights.
I was with my mom when she was passing her breathing was very laboured,I told her she could go that my dad and granddad were waiting for her and to give my son Keith a big hug for me,her breathing slowed she gave me two big smiles and passed 20 minutes later I'm so glad I watched this as I have often thought did she hear me now I know she did and I'm so happy,I have just been told I have Brest cancer and have to have a bilateral mastectomy and chemo but they can't tell me what the outcome will be this gives me great comfort knowing I will hear my family if I don't recover .
I'm so sorry Jackie. May your cancer treatment journey be pain free and result in a full healing 🙏🏼💕
Thank you Angela.💖
Great interview and content. Also great to see compassionate medical personnel caring for the terminally ill. I hope I am able to have such people around during my last days.
Me too. It’s a somber time and family members should be respectful to their loved one as far as being loud, and moving around a lot, accidentally hitting the bed and such. I noticed that he didn’t say that, but I am saying it.
@@maryherron3970 I worked in hospice care for all ages from newborn to the elderly and while some people may want quiet that's not true for everyone. We are all very different people with very different life experiences. I have been at deaths at a party, and the person dying has been absolutely comfortable. A child would possibly find total quiet and a somber atmosphere quite frightening. But also adults may feel the same way too. If pain is being managed effectively sound etc shouldn't normally have a detrimental effect. I'd hate people to assume their loved one wanted silence or felt bad for making a noise. Just the same for touch. People may not want to be touched but being held by their parents or loved ones is often when a child feels the most peace. I think this is yet another reason why adults need to have much more frank and open discussions about the kind of death they want. But remaining open to change as no one knows how they will feel until they are the one in that experience.
I’m not one who can talk about death without feeling such anxiety. When my parents were in their 60’s, they asked my older sister and me to be their legal guardians. I have 3 other siblings, I’m the middle. The 2 youngest were upset because I and my oldest sister lived out of state. Only because my parents asked that of me did I consent to it. Being the way I am, I never gave it another thought because to me, my parents were invincible and I would never have to make any decisions regarding them passing. Not even 15 years later, my worst nightmare came true. I got a call from my youngest sibling telling me that I had to fly home, ASAP. My mom had fallen on his concrete driveway, hit her head so hard that it caused severe brain damage. I made it home that night, along with the rest of my siblings. My beautiful, sweet, loving, healthy mother was a vegetable. We all took turns staying round the clock with her and 10 days later, she developed sepsis and passed in her sleep. I was staying at my parents house and assisting with my dad when we got the call. I really don’t remember much from that moment till the day of her service. I was watching my dad like a hawk because he hadn’t eaten anything in all that time. He went from a very active, jolly, funny man to a shriveled shell of himself. Somehow, I summoned the mental strength to send my mom to heaven by writing and reading her eulogy. None of my other siblings wanted to do it. I never took my eyes off my dad as I sobbed while reading the eulogy. It felt like I had been punched in the stomach, not only from losing my mom but KNOWING that my dad wasn’t going to make it. He wasn’t sick, it was a hair raising feeling that I just knew. I stayed with him 5 more days without one minute of sleep from fear that if I slept, I would wake up and he would be gone. My 2 oldest siblings told me to go home to my family and take some time to process and grieve and they would stay with my dad and get him through until I was to fly back a week later to take their place. I was extremely close with my dad. He was my rock my entire life and now I had to be his. I spoke with my sister several times a day for the next 3 days. On the 3rd night, my sister called me, breathlessly crying. She said that my dad had had a stroke and was in the hospital unresponsive. I made it there at 7:30 the next morning. The 5 of us stayed by his bed and 2 weeks from the day that my mom passed, my dad followed her. It will be 9 years this April and I still haven’t gotten over it. I haven’t made it 1 day since, feeling any kind of joy or zest for life. There isn’t a day that I wonder if I could have done something or if my brother could have prevented my mom’s fall and they’d still be here. I don’t stay in touch with my siblings because they’ve moved on and don’t even want to speak of my parents.
I'm very sorry to read your story and, though it is several months since you posted, I don't know if things have improved for you. I would say forgiveness is key. Forgive your siblings for carrying on and making you feel left behind, forgive your loving parents for leaving you so suddenly and so close together, and forgive yourself for every other thing that haunts you and makes you feel guilty. Your parents loved you and would want you to be able to continue to experience joy and a good life. Grief is very painful (I lost my husband of 34 years very suddenly) and very draining. It takes time to recover physically and the emotions will likely always remain strong. You are allowed to feel sad, angry, have days of hopelessness and regrets, but these should not dominate your thoughts every hour of every day and rule your life. Have you had any grief counselling, or even deep conversations about your feelings with trusted friends? Deep wounds take time to heal, but balm needs to be applied. Reopening the wounds and continually looking into them prevents healing. I do hope and pray you can find a way to work through this difficult time and to feel joy and peace again. Sending you a hug. x
I totally get the “what if”. My grandmother passed away in her home with my son and I by her side. My Mom, who lived with my sister out of state, passed away unexpectedly. My Mom was my confidant, my cheerleader, my everything. My sister asked me to move in with her out of state so that we could grieve together, she had a very good job and didn’t want to leave. Less than 2 years later my Sister passed away unexpectedly. I also think of the “what if’s”, but I was MISSING the here and now, the present. Please accept this recommendation with love, care and acceptance, because I too know what you are going through. In addition to my story, my great uncle passed away and 2 days later my great aunt passed away. We always believed it to be of a broken heart, because she was not sick… Take care…
I totally get the “what if”. My grandmother passed away in her home with my son and I by her side. My Mom, who lived with my sister out of state, passed away unexpectedly. My Mom was my confidant, my cheerleader, my everything. My sister asked me to move in with her out of state so that we could grieve together, she had a very good job and didn’t want to leave. Less than 2 years later my Sister passed away unexpectedly. I also think of the “what if’s”, but I was MISSING the here and now, the present. Please accept this recommendation with love, care and acceptance, because I too know what you are going through. In addition to my story, my great uncle passed away and 2 days later my great aunt passed away. We always believed it to be of a broken heart, because she was not sick… Take care…
So sad no one grieves with you still. Some families just don’t talk about their feelings, discomforts, fears or regrets.I’m sorry.
I'm so sorry for your losses. I know that you have to be heartbroken 💔. I lost my dad when I was only 5. Then in the middle of December 2000. I got a call from my first husband's family. He unfortunately passed away 35 years ago. One of my sister in laws informed me that mom had passed away. I had been close to her since I'd met her in 1982, the year I married her oldest son. The next morning around 6 am my phone rang and it was my step father calling me to inform me that my own mom was in the hospital in a self induced coma. I live in Indy my sister in NC. We talked everyday and talked to moms drs every day as well. They told us that there was no reason to fly out to California at that time and he'd keep us posted. Well my sister and I decided to fly out the next week. We got there on Friday, stayed awhile and then went to our hotel. The next morning we were back in the hospital and she blinked her eyes as we walked by her door but the dr informed me that she was having a automatic movement. She ended up passing that evening after the dr told us to take a break and get something to eat. The hospital called the restaurant almost as soon as we'd settled down. We made it back in time with just a few minutes to spare God bless you 🙏
I have been with several loved ones that slipped away from the body. When my grandmother was dying. She came out of a coma wanting to know where she was. I told her and she said she didn't want to be there. She said she had been in Africa and Asia and everywhere. Since then I have called death going to dance on the wind. Death does not make me afraid or sad. My children, grandmother, uncle, dear friends have all gone to dance on the wind.
What a beautiful Doctor. 🏅
I loss my 33 three year old boy 4 months ago. It's just heart wrenching. He didn't know he was dying. The doctors put him in a coma and when nothing could be done it was agreed to turn the life support off. I'm so glad he just went to sleep and never knew what was going to happen. See you soon my boy. 🙏💚🙏
💜🙏
I lost my 46 year old son two years ago. I’m still heartbroken but know I will see him again as you will your son. Be kind to yourself, we both will get through our heartbreak.
Thankfully, in Northern Ireland, my Father who died on 24 January 2003 from cancer, had a peaceful death. He knew his family were there, but his doctor was SO helpful and engaging that he kept us right, informed and involved in the process, right to the end. I am eternally grateful. Thank you for your kindness, concern, and terminal care, Dr JW ❤
I wish I knew some of this when my mom who lived with me was transitioning and suffering from the complications from dementia. Thank you for sharing.
May I ask - what complications? One of my sisters (I have 4, D; M; B; caretaker R), is the only one that Mama will allow to help her. When we try to help, Mama gets so agitated. She hasn’t officially been diagnosed as to having dementia or something, Mama let us stay roughly 15 minutes and then she tells each of us to leave. If for some reason the 4 of us happens to be there at one one, she tells us which one of us has to leave, if not all of us. Of course I suppose that’s par for the course. The sister that takes care of her has to be there to help get her calmed down. When said sister has to go somewhere, like the doctor, she asks either M or D to stay with Mama until she can get back. ‘R’ doesn’t ask me because I’m not in good shape (hospice) either. I would appreciate any help you are willing to share.
I’m sorry that this is so long.
@@maryherron3970 I took care of both my parents who died from Dementia. It is the most horrible thing, watching your parents walking around with their brains dying!! My dad died Feb. 15, 2016, my mom, April 5th 2018, both made it to 94. I cannot believe your mother's Dr. isn't in on the end of life care for your MOM?!! I quickly took care to take some Dementia care lessons, at our Senior Center, and the end of life stories. My mom did not like to be away from her Frontier Living home. She had a cute apartment, I decorated it the best I could, she was really pleased. I brought her over to my house to look at my grandchildren and their nine children (four grandchildren), on my computer. I wasn't thinking, after just a little bit she said, "Sharon, can I go home, I don't really know all these people and their kids. She was more acquainted with her own home!! God bless you, it is a difficult situation to be in!! I was first just taking my parents drugs over the few blocks to their house, I would stay all day and come home after they were in bed. I was really careful about the house, it was my mothers. Soon, though I had to begin making decisions!! It was one of the worst experiences of my life!! I moved back here to Montana from Oregon, in 2010, I drove the nice new, big Uhaul, I had been gone from here for 47 years, never wanted to come back here, big, DYSFUNCTIONAL family!! Alcoholic sister, monster daughter, son-in-law, two sons, took everything my parents had, but didn't find two life ins. plans!! I had a brother here and one on down the road, very good with money, we made him conservator. My sister and her evil seed had my parents hating me when I got here, all lies!! My niece ended up slugging me in the face, a 68 year old woman with one speeding ticket, who has severe Fibromyalgia and austioarthritis!! She and her evil seed put my brother and me in jail, for beating our mother, a little bit of 93 year old woman!! Then I found out the four cops I introduced myself to wanted my pot smoking brother, at 64, so did the lying County Attorney, he absolutely framed me!! (A man who was the judge had known my family for years, drinking, drugging kids, drinking dad, he got us out of our situation!! I had been a respected business woman, running a high end clothing store with beautiful beachy clothes, for a nice family, in Cannon Beach, here I became white trash!!! I could NEVER live through it again!! It was Friday, I had a horrid bladder infection, a temp. of 103.2, no aspirin in that galley off a ship, dry as a bone and a cold winter, summer clothing, my brother came up on Monday morning and bailed us out!! Now I have nothing to do with the brother and sister here, it is so much better, and my oldest daughter moved here two years ago. The conservator died of brain cancer in April of 2018, he was a brakeman-conductor for the railroad, my sister-in-law thinks it was the fumes, diesel, coal dust and a couple other things!! YOU NEED TO HAVE YOUR SISTER TALK TO YOUR MOM"S DOCTOR ABOUT HER HEALTH SITUATION!! I didn't know my parents had Dementia, nor did I know they were broke (My sister, her kids and lousy son-in-law took $110,000.00 out of my dad's account in a little under one year!! Took his McKensie river boat and all his tools, garage was bare!!! All my mother ever did was cook for all of them!! I didn't know my dad used his last $25,000.00 CD to pay down on my cute little OLD house. I told him I didn't want it, hadn't had a yard for all those years!! I had never seen my dad so mad at me, my brother was mad at me, too, so I am paying for the house!! My brother sold my parents beautiful house!! Well, this is way too long, I am wishing you a world of good luck, my dear!!!
I remember that before passing my father was very hot and he tried to take off his t shirt repeatedly, his nurse said that this can be a common occurrence. So I cut off the sleeves and lowered the neckline of a t-shirt making a tank top, and he seemed more comfortable. I hope that I have such a compassionate person looking over me when it is my time.
About 12 years ago my dear cousin was ill, and it was unclear exactly what was happening physically b/c she had many, many health issues.
My mom and I went to visit her, and I noticed the lacy, purple mottling the doctor mentioned here. At that point I knew Rosemary was not going to be with us for much longer, just a few hours.
I took mom out of Rose's room and told her we needed to stay - that it would be just a few precious hours we would have her, she was fading.
Mom has always been very afraid of death. Fortunately, Rose's passing was peaceful and easy. We were there with her till the end. I think witnessing Rose's passing helped mom be less afraid. Rose held on until her last two adult children arrived, and then she slipped away quietly.
I am grateful to Rosemary for accepting her departure gracefully, and surrendering this life to go Home peacefully.
Mom is 96 now, and I am 70.
I am sorry to say she is very angry her life will soon end.
Mom is bitter the Party is over, and yet if only she knew the truth!
To return to God, the source of all Creation, is to be in the presence of pure love --- unending bliss!
I will be here for mom until she departs. I pray she passes in her sleep, because she hates hospitals, and doesn't understand anything about how the body functions. It is her choice to remain ignorant and frightened...so I worry she will try to resist her liberation from her earthly existence.
Mom thinks death is all about loss, when in truth, we return to the Source, to God, which is a joyful reunion.
For now I just pray for strength to get through the day without being on the receiving end of her rage. My eldest sister is here, and I'm letting her step up and take over a bit.
I've been doing this for 8 years now, hoping I could bring some joy into mom's life, but from her daily complaints it appears I have failed. This world is such a beautiful place, filled with wondrous vistas and incredible life. I am sorry mom can't appreciate it.
I am so sorry about your mom. She sounds like a fighter though. 🙂😇
God Bless you for your patience!
Thank you for this, I told my dad that I loved him just before he went, id never told him that before as he’d never told me, it was just how we were. I did always wonder if he could of heard me I’m so glad that as you stated hearing is one of the last things to go. I hope he heard me. Losing him has negatively effected my life since in a awful way it’s now been over a decade and it still effects me greatly, but hearing that at least I know he might of heard me. Thank you 😢
I am so sorry for your loss, and I know what you mean. My whole life, my father never said I love you, to me, even when my mother asked him to. It hurt me deeply that he couldn't say the words. And my three siblings think I was his favorite. Some people are brought up in homes without affection being shown, as he was. So I had to accept him for who he was, but I am now 68 yo and I remember that evening like it was this morning. It's important to me to say the words to people I care deeply about. I never want to leave someone wishing they had heard me say the words I love you. I want them to remember me telling them, and I hope you are able to get past this. I wish you peace.
@@cpwood3506 yup..my dad was very strict and mean and never was affectionate ..i grew up on a Lakota reservation..very poor and my dad worked his butt off and my mom took care if all of us in a log house with no running water or electricity. We all had chores and if we even spa ked a little..we got the belt. Well one day an old friend if mine visited my dad she i was in the Navy and he said that my dad couldn't stop talking about how proud he was of me etc. I was like 😮😮😮
I never hears my dad say anything to that effect directly to me..ever. He passed knee ending while j was away and i tried to make it there..but didn't. I'll always wonder why my dad was this way..but it's nice knowing that at least in his eyes..he loved me his way.
@@cpwood3506 same here claudia...my father never hug me or said i love you as far as i can remember, even to my mom he was not really showy, but over all he was a good father. I just think of the good memories and the moral lessons he taught us. 🌼 to our fathers, may they rest in peace...🌼✨🌼 God bless!
@@mtashunkab715 It must have been so hard growing up feeling like your dad had nothing but commands and anger to give you. It sounds like life was very rough for all of you, Dad, Mom, your brothers and/or sisters and you. I am sorry you didn't hear of your Dad's pride in you from him directly. It's great that your friend visited and later shared with you his great pride in you. All the best, and peace to you and your family.
@@efheineman i appreciate that so much Ellen !!😘🌹🌹🌹
I was an Aged Care Nurse & I have always loved being around the elderly, even when I was a small child. Now I am the elderly! LOL Over the course of my Career, I kept the names of every person that I cared for and who passed away. Some had loving Families who would always remember them, some had absolutely no one who would remember them, except me. I have had the greatest honour and privilege to be with hundreds of people during their last moments on this Earth. Everything that has been said in this video is true and correct. Very nicely explained 💕💕💕
You're a beautiful soul
Josephine I have no doubt there will be a crowd of these familiar faces when you cross over to greet you and welcome you. We don't often think of the small things we do but what we do in the moments of life... add up to a life that matters. Way to make the moments count beautiful woman!! You are one that is light and love 🙏🦋🙏
God bless you.❤️
What a wonderfully kind person you are. I am deeply moved by the love and attention you extended to your patients over your career. You give me faith in humanity. 💗💗
I really needed to hear this. I'm on hospice now from metastatic breast cancer. My husband and I are paramedics and we fully understand dying.... until you are the patient!
I truly believe that death is not the end of us, simply a transition to the next part of our lives...God bless you
🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
My husband was dying from a terminal brain cancer. I knew he would "hang on" for me. When he could no longer eat or talk, I had to hold him, kiss him and tell him it was OK for him to let go, if that was right for him. That I would always love him and miss him but I would be OK (I felt like that was a giant lie at the time but could not show him that!!). He relaxed a little more, and slowly as I held him, kept kissing him and reassuring him ..... he slipped away. It was an honor to be with him to the very end, but I am a sad and very broken person right now. I know it will "get better" slowly, but it is so very hard. Nevertheless, to know my husband passed calmly, without fear or pain, and certainly without being alone for a second .... I know it was the greatest gift to give him.
that is beautiful that you could be with your husband. I am sure you will meet again. stay strong till then.
🙏😭💐