In one year, I lost my job, home, found another home, and another job, lost my home, found a better job, found a home, wrecked my car, and got laid off. Took about 2 years to recover and still, I'd rather watch Netflix than do the kind of projects I used to enjoy.
I went into a burnout over a year ago. Usually I function pretty well, I study astrophysics at university and when people learn that I'm autistic they often put me into the "genius nerd" category. But as I got increasingly burnt out, I realized that I suddenly had trouble understanding things. It felt like I had become stupid when the lady at the doctor's office gave me instructions and I had to ask three times because I just couldn't process the information. I was so distraught. I couldn't live on my own anymore, I barely got through my exams and didn't _understand_ things anymore. Loud sudden noises now made me cry. I had to take an ongoing break from university. I could barely speak anymore in group settings. And I feel like some people, who used to dismiss my autism as the "fun, harmless kind", are suddenly a lot less understanding of it now that I exhibit behaviours like this. It really hurts, because I'm not the genius they thought I was. I can't be that. Trying to has almost destroyed me. People give you a pass for being a weirdo if they think you're hyperintelligent. But I don't want to try to "make up for" my neurodivergency like that anymore. I just want to be myself and be happy. I don't need to be a genius for that to be okay.
Gosh I feel this so much.. I'm no astro physicist but I understand how difficult and worrying it is when your brain won't function properly. I know my gp thinks I'm a bit thick which frustrates the hell out of me! I used to be so quick witted and sharp brained, my memory was brilliant but now I feel like there's a hole in my head where the information falls out as soon as its gone in. I feel as I've struggled with the burnout that I've become more autistic than I've ever felt.. The inability to mask or socialise, the extra sensitivities to everything. And it's made me realise how cruel the term "high functioning autistic" is and how it sets people up for burnout with the subsequent lack of understanding or tolerance just when we need understanding and compassion the most. I hope you find your way through and all of us in the same situation recover in a sustainable way.
I don't know whether I have autism but I have anxiety and definitely understand burnout. I tried to work fulltime but quickly realised I just wasn't capable of that. I was so exhausted and stressed. Now I only work 3 days a week. People at work kept asking why I only want to work part time and what do i do on my days off! I don't want to explain that I spend most of my days off resting and recovering from my 3 days of work so I don't have a breakdown ! They just wouldnt understand 😝
Omfg me too! I haven’t worked in years signed myself up for 4 days a week and boy was I shocked I was a nightmare :( I put myself down for one day because I simply couldn’t cope. I’ve done my one day this week and I’m already beyond my people limit. There’s no way I’m having a social life on top of this
One of the hardest things about this is living in a world with people that don't understand because all of the things that we have a hard time with are easy for them. Especially when it's your own spouse. 😔 Me: I am so exhausted, I have been going Non-Stop and I feel like I just crashed into a wall. Husband: well let's go to that barbecue, it'll make you feel better just to get out and socialize. 😳😡😡😡😡😡😡😡
@@hllyenaylleth9576 well yes, but thats not the same type of burnout as autistic burnout. He probably heals best when going out to social gatherings. But apperantly is not informed about how an autistic burnout is supposed to be treated. If you listened to the video, youd notice autistic burnout is helped by avoiding stimulating places and taking a mental rest.
Since I learned about my autism, I'm now trying to reduce the things in my life that may lead to burnout, like allowing myself to rest when I feel mentally tired, being mindful of sensory inputs that I would otherwise try to ignore and reducing stress from social encounters by lowering my expectations both for myself and others. Implementing all that takes time and practice and with a full time job there are stressful things that are simply unavoidable. But reducing stress from other sources makes it less likely that the work will cause a kind of burnout that might incapacitate me for weeks or months (which has happened before).
@Big Dog Yeah... That's why I wrote a document of 20+ pages detailing every aspect of my autism with a graph of my comorbidities, PRIOR to my official evaluation. That's what "normal" people usually do, right? If you can't tell, I'm being aggressively sarcastic here.
My burnout isn't exactly the same as others, but I do feel symptoms of it. It's that feeling of being overwhelmed and numb to too many stressors at once that you just...shut down and don't want to deal with anything. I haven't experienced any meltdowns but I have felt the urge to cry sometimes from the weight I feel myself carrying.
Crying is good!! In fact I haven't done that in a while (not for want of trying though) so allow yourself to cry if you can. Hope you are doing better a year later.
suffered from this for two decades. surrounded by abusive gas lighters who would put all of it on me and say I was bad. I have only learnt now that a burnout exists from this video..
I had a burn out at 16, I forced myself to finish high school, which was a nightmare. Nowadays I feel constantly on edge and have no mental endurance, it feels like my autism has amplified, the burnout was 3 years ago, and I see no real perspective for me. Meditation and spirituality bring some relief, but still everything overloads me, everything is irritating, my executive functioning is constantly confused. I cannot focus, I cannot enjoy my hobbies as they're too irritating. When I structure my day and accomplish something for my own self, I get an internal feeling of unrest, and afterwards cannot sleep all night. I need extreme calm and stability, and I constantly re-burn myself if I get thrown off balance and require several days to recover, I feel damaged beyond repair and like I can never be really functional in society, but I don't want to sell myself to a societally endorsed zombie routine even if I could, because I know this would just really kill me - and I fear that any kind of work or college would be going to do that to me, even if I wanted to - it seems like I have a PTSD like reaction to the school system, and project it on these things. I'd need a lot of accommodations - especially nothing that is more than 10h a week. I seriously feel too weak to live. It seems like there's no future perspective. I also have Complex PTSD due to family abuse and this makes things even more irritating and triggering and hopeless, as I depend on my abusive family. I'll probably get on disability benefits sooner or later. I might start breeding cats or some nonsense like that, I cannot otherwise work. I am so young, and yet I feel robbed of my own self and life. I am supposedly gifted, but I cannot even think clearly anymore.
I had a burnout as well when I was 17. I remember saying to my mother: "I don't know why I feel this way, I am not even working much?" 1 month later, my therapist said that I am autistic. At first I felt like that meant I am weak or not good enough. But now I can finally see that it is not bad to live a life that looks a little bit different. And I am thankful for my burnouts and all the depression to show me, that I don't have to compare myself to other people. But: I can relate to the feeling of being robbed. I used to love concerts, hiking and dancing. These are things I now fear. I am scared to feel burnout when I do them. Most of the time I can just meet friends for 2 hours. And that makes me sad. But there is also a lot of hope to be found. These years of struggle sometimes lead to spiritual growth. Maybe you have a passion or a dream. Follow it. And don't let society judge you. Burnout is something that will probably happen to anyone because everyone has to be productive all the time. The best you can do is when you find ways to free yourself of all the shame and guilt I try to do the same. And reach out to people who can understand and support you
How does it feel when You *watch familiar movies* - or _play familiar, sooting video games_ - as was briefly adressed in the video ? I noticed that the latter does change my state without putting effort into it - when nothing else seems it would. " It seems like there's no future perspective (...)" "breeding cats" (lol) As a professional prospect, how does the thought of being self-employed feel ? Maybe, handling livestock e.g. is an idea as animals 'give back' ? If You are intelligent above average, maybe 'fumbling' Your way into biological research (breeding) feels rewarding and a long distance degree could be the payoff for suffering high-school (college is usually less 'schooled', but still revolving entirely around schedules and formality - versus solving questions).
I know this post is a year old but ahah this is very relatable! Grew up with an antisocial narcissistic stepdad and neglectful & bipolar mom, was treated badly by teachers at school who thought I was intentionally being difficult from the way I acted and was constantly made to feel like I was bad. Finished high school a year ago, started working at subway and began having anxiety attacks daily thanks to it. Quit that job and now I just stay at my moms house all day every day, barely even engaging in my hobbies just cause I don’t see any point and it gets frustrating. Can’t move out cause I can’t work enough to even pay rent each month. Not able to interact with new people socially without being awkward and forcing myself out of the situation. Sometimes I don’t even like the few people in my life that I can comfortably interact with, which makes me feel like an ass. I just don’t know what the hell someone who feels like this is supposed to do, mom sometimes still treats me like I’m just being a jerk when I get overstimulated and irritable. Medicaid won’t email me back so haven’t been to therapy for over two years. Life in America is a bitch for neurodivergent people especially. I’m glad someone else is going through what I am though you seem cool
Autistic burnout really resonates with me... even though I don't have autism. As a teen, I believed that my awkwardness meant I didn't deserve to belong, so I spent most of my energy trying to "fix" myself. I found school easy and barely had to study... until school became harder too. At the end of my last year of university, I had a hard time getting out of bed in the morning, wanted to sleep all the time, possibly had a depressive episode, and believed the things my depressed, low self-esteem mind told me. Looking back now, having done a lot of healing, it was really awful back then. At the time it's like my brain was protecting me from knowing how bad it was.
Thank you for this. It's the 1st time I've heard the term "chronic burnout", which I believe I've been struggling with for over 14yrs now. It's been made worse by not being able to get a diagnosis. Hearing that term has made these last, horrible years make perfect sense.
Soooo, this is happening to me now. I suffered from episodes I put down to mental illness. Tuns out they are "meltdowns". I was taken aback when the guy assessing me pulled out an autism questionnaire, even more so when I got a high score and referred for testing. I've looked into autism, and I've hidden it so well, even I didn't realise I could possibly have it. I'm paying for that now. Big time.
Running on adrenaline will inevitably lead to “adrenal fatigue” which is well documented on the internet. It is cumulative as well so as soon as we all learn to fight adrenaline surges and try our hardest to not react then recovery can begin. I always think that if I’m over adrenalised I will pay for this in the future maybe next week or in 6 months time. Conversely if I consciously reject the adrenaline surge I will increase my life long recovery effort. Now it’s difficult and I used to worry I might seem boring staying calm, but boring is better than living in burnout. Great vid. Stay safe everyone ❤️
As a female disabled vet (recently diagnosed at 30 as autistic), the diagnosis helped explain a lot. It helps me identify a bit more what’s going on. One time I found myself so mentally exhausted I just collapsed on the floor. Like I literally lost the will to walk and my muscles aches and I felt weak everywhere. I don’t like talking out loud and my kids are asking me if I’m okay. I have patience for them thank God. They’re patient and know what I’m going through. My daughter sat next to me and hugged me saying “it’ll be okay”. I felt numb but calm.
The most disabling thing about burnout, is being pressured and scolded during the burnout for not being able to do anything, which makes some burnouts take years. It can result in losing your job, home or even worse. When you don't have a safe space and time to retreat and recharge, the world only keeps adding fuel to the fire. And they keep pushing and pushing.
It’s got me thinking. I know I need to decompress at the end of a long busy day, but I rarely get the chance to - with everyone else at home all day right now, when I get home there’s just too much to do and nobody else who’ll do it (they certainly won’t during the day). So often the first chance I have to relax is when I go to bed - and then I can’t sleep. And then I get a day like today (or, more usually, weekends) where I could be making use of the free time - but can’t be motivated to do so...
You poor thing! I used to have the same problem when I was a teenager, so I created a cosy corner for me to escape, even if only for an hour, and ironically it was the bathroom! I would clean it thoroughly and spray air freshener and just sit there and breathe!!
Can relate tv and sunny weather or stress cause it. People putting md umder pressure to comform likd being strong or enjoying travel. It caused me insomnia and wore me out. I cant work easily and cant meet people as much. I fedl they dont understand. Im not doing this after lockdown. Getting blinds. Travrl mskes me sick and miserable. I mihht be much more if peopld had listened. I have part time work though say no if you have to.
yup ... I am pretty sure I am in aspie burnout mode now ... and have been for a few weeks. I am unable to do simple tasks, even though I am usual very sharp. Thank you for sharing the phrase "burnout", it is a more accurate term than shutdown for what I am experiencing ... :)
This makes sense with my daughter. Her last year in high school covid hit she was finally socializing and getting comfortable then anxiety kicked in. These videos help. With my daughter's autism she doesn't always speak up. These videos help. I give her space it helps her to deal. Thank you for the education
I have both I have extreme depression since I was a child and I’m also very autistic recently I went to the mall with my mom and when I came back I felt like I was traumatized I felt horrible I didn’t know why maybe because 99% of the time I spend my time in isolation and when I went out I tried to avoid looking at people I was just looking at the floor or other things because when I see people looking at me I get really scared and anxious
I used to burn out alot. But I try to live in low arousal environment with candles, soft toys, books and phone switched off! I stim daily, I wear rings in order to use as fiddle with to feel grounded and able to distract myself from overstimulation. Also living just generally a slow lifestyle and embracing my creativity especially music (you can find on my channel), vision portraits using pen and pencil to calm myself and explore emotions and also dancing as one of my major stims. Learning self care and self efficaciousness. Take care and sending love to you all 💕
I wonder how hard this is on the adrenal glands and cortisol levels. I noticed more autistic videos are from the UK than any other country, people in the united states don't want to hear about it. I am an autistic savant adult in Texas, people here act like autism is a form of retardation and discriminate horribly against autistic people. What burns me out most is avoiding hate crimes & bullying against me, also the PTSD after each attack.
I feel the same way about alot of people in the health care field especially treat people diagnosed with asd horribly. I worked in the field too, not everyone is as nice as they seem, its all about money in the end, very sad. No one can just be honest.
I have adrenal insufficiency disease ( I don’t make enough cortisol for stress etc) and I’m sure that my autistic burnout really affects me a great deal.
Thanks for your videos. I'm 37 and have now realised that I have a lot of Autistic traits going back to childhood. I relate to a lot of your content so I'm going to talk to my GP about an assessment.
I grew up in an abusive home and I finally Just moved out late last year into my mom’s house that is much safer. I think I’ve been in early stages of burn out for years now and I’m finally crashing. Being out of that environment made me think I’d just get better and things would be easy again like when I was little, but they’re not. I can’t remember what it feels like to not be mentally and physically exhausted. I’m not diagnosed autistic, but I’ve done months and months of research that have led me to believe I might be. Because my anxiety, nor my PTSD explain all the struggles in life I’ve had for as long as I can remember. Even to the point where my stepdad calls me an alien and every few months someone mentions my lack of eye contact or their annoyance at my hours long book rants (which I’ve been struggling to even get into recently because writing has been shoved out of my mind). This video really helped and I’m going to try to impliment strategies you mentioned into my own life to try to make things better. I grew up pushing myself past my limit to basically mother my little brother, take care of my father, stay in the top 10% of my class in school, play travel softball, etc. All of that has been harder for me to juggle than anyone else I know and I’ve never been able to figure out why, I think autism is a factor and it led to burn out.
I watched this tonight knowing full well that I’m in burnout. I had a melt down at work yesterday and called off today. I didn’t have the capacity to make myself a sandwich today to eat, let alone work. My husband has been with me today and made sure I got food in me eventually. I really appreciate this video. I sent it to him so he can understand a bit more.
Meditation can be done in several ways. If sitting still doesn't work, there's walking meditation. At the end of the day, doing anything that allows you to get into a flow state, a meditative mind state so you can just do the activity without thinking about it, is meditation. That can be washing dishes or swimming or just walking and experiencing your breathing, etc.
Hi Purple Ella. Your video makes sense to me & is identifiable, it also helps bring clarity as its good to know that we as autistic people are able to watch a video that fully understandings that we are neurologically wired in a different way & need to navigate our way through life in our own unique way. Purple people is a great name for the group! 🙂
Omg this is crazy. I have never in my life heard someone explain exactly what I’m going thru. I’m not sure if I am on the spectrum but this is exactly how I feel.
Great video, insights and suggestions. I just figured out I'm on the spectrum and it makes SO much sense. I've also had diabetes most of my life (I'm 53) and fibromyalgia for at least 15years (which I also figured out myself and couldn't get a Dr diagnosis until recently). Content like this is so helpful. My welfare level health clinic has been more traumatizing than beneficial. Imagine having your 'Dr' (the only healthcare my insurance covers, and having zero income) argue w you, dismiss your symptoms and belittle your pain, physical as well as psychological? It's been a nightmare. Frankly I would never choose western medicine treatments but after I became homeless and unemployed (bc of fibro and suicidal depression), that became the only way for me to get my insulin prescribed. Fortunately I was awarded disability this year and the financial stability is making it easier for me to take better care of myself. I'm very much appreciating the helpful content on ASD. It's really helping me to understand myself and my life, looking back and looking forward. Thank you!
Oh my gosh!! You have just described my experience from since the pandemic started to this day. I didn’t know about this. I’m not formally diagnosed but I strongly suspect I’m in the spectrum. Thank you so much for this video!!! I’m glad you made it make a little bit more sense, because I just felt like I’m falling apart for no reason. ❤️🩹
This was helpful. I'm not diagnosed yet (having an evaluation soon), but have always tried to structure my life around what I think I *should* be capable of, rather than what I actually am capable of. I've constantly been in a cycle of plowing through and then crashing. It's a whole mindset shift learning to say no and not mentally beat myself up over having different limits to others. I also really relate to having that extra downtime or reduced demands, getting used to it, and then feeling that I'm not capable of as much as I was before. But rather than thinking I've "become lazy", I'm realising my true limits are actually way lower than where I was attempting to operate. It's like when you're functioning long-term on reduced sleep (my almost 4yo still wakes at least a couple of times), have a night of extra sleep, and feel way more tired because your body has remembered what sleep is 😅
Exercise is supposed to be good for self-regulation. This does not mean that more exercise means more self-regulation. If you have a regular programme, like yoga or walking the dog, it may be helpful to stick with it, but I think it might be better not to increase what you do as an attempt to stave off burnout.
Your videos are literally my voice. You are able to say exactly what I feel. You are able to help me understand things I don’t even understand about myself. Thank you ❤️
I'm new to all of this...I'm curious if anyone else has exited stressful work environments, but have found that keeping up being a Mom has been leading to burnout. It's like keeping up and maintaining the household and pretending to have it all together is completely exhausting. I've been healing at a deep level, and it's been exposing me authentically. And it's almost as if those layers have been removed, I've been brought down to the basics of how difficult basic life is for me. I don't have a diagnosis and haven't even talked to anyone about it yet. But the first quote you had about burnout resonated so deeply with me that I cried.
I'm currently going through burnout; possibly autistic burnout because I'm autistic and burned out. I keep thinking of that episode in Avatar: the Last Airbender where Zuko has a completely psychgenic illness because of conflicting parts of his identity and is in a fever on the floor. That's kind of what if feels like for me. I feel like I have a cold and I feel like I desperately need someone to come and help me finish my tasks the way I do for other people, but no one's volunteering. I have fibromylagia which I really think is mild chronic fatigue syndrome since fatigue and not pain is my main symptom (though I do feel constant, dull aches during my bad days). I'm used to being overwhelmed with work and then freaking out about it for a little while before rising to meet the challenge. I call these "pheonix moments." Currently, I just feel like I've burned up into a useless state and I'm still waiting to be reborn in flames... and waiting; and waiting. I'm really worried because there's no way I can get through life like this. I know that what I really need is social interaction and exercise but thanks to COVID-19, I can't get those things. I can get exercise, but the type of exercise I find is much less effective, as only elliptical machine helps without precipitating a flareup.
In the last month I got both diagnosed with Autism and had a burnout. (F34) For me, the moment the burnout happened was very intense, i couldn't concentrate anymore, panicked, couldnt filter sound anymore. That week I was super irritated by certain noises, was exhausted both mentally and physically. It took me 4 weeks to feel like my old self again and then I had another burnout event happen. Seemingly out of the blue. Im now recovering from that second event and this time Im trying to learn to notice stress and anxiety better and take more rest. Yoga has been immensely helpful, especially Adriene's videos. I also noticed how singing or humming worked quite well to reduce anxiety and stress. Apparently this stimulates the parasympatis nervous system, which is the counter to the stress system.
I have so much in common with autistic traits like this. I always assumed most of it was from my childhood trauma and being in perpetual hypervigilance. But the more i think about it perhaps i could really be on the spectrum. Especially considering i have two kids who are autistic, but somehow got the idea that I was not! I dont even know who I would go to for dx. The last thing I want to do is to have a million questions to answer on my lifetime of struggles and weirdness.
I resonate with this so much. My hypervigilance and neurodiversity go hand in hand. They predict one another. I think instead of focusing on a dx I've just come to accept that my autism and adhd are part of growing up hypervigilant in a turbulent household and all of those things equate to make me, me. Its super hard sometimes I'm just coming out of a burnout now, I'm 4 years into a medical degree got a couple years left to go and it will be the death of me I swear 😆 however I persevere because I know I am worthy of the same things a neuronormative person is i just take a little longer to get there and have to go through several near death burnouts to get there 🤪 Sending you so much love x x x
Notice that nearly all the comments are from women. Thank you for the excellent description. As a man, I can notionally relate to the overall "burnout" feeling. But, I cannot imagine having the self-awareness to assess "daily capacity" and adjust in real-time. That would be nice. As a rule, men do not self-evaluate emotions. Instead, like most men, I put my head down, ignore my feelings, and simply push through. I am sure there are personal consequences (irritability, tiredness, and reduced performance). I don't know if this behavior is cultural or genetic. I think this illustrates some of the differences between men and women.
It is cause we men all around the world are teached since early on that we need to control ourselves always and never show emotions since that is girly.
Coming off alot of medication, and having pushed my body so far when i have alot of illnesses (im trying for a eds diagnosis myself currently) everyone just has u think ifs from ur illness or your chronic fatigue but when i learned about autistic burnout and was able to try to be more mindful of some stuff but i find i get exhausted focising so much still on health. So this post really spoke to me right now. U really need to get in touch with how ur feeling so you know what is setting you off. I really love your posts!
Thanks, Ella! Being late-identified, burnout has undoubtedly become a significant obstacle for me in later life and probably has been throughout my adult life. Re 8:35 - by applying mindfulness to everyday tasks you are doing mindfulness 'properly'. Focussing on breathing and 'body scanning' are exercises to help you find the place where you can be mindful in other situations. I remember telling one of my meditation teachers that I meditate while driving. I was told that that was impossible and dangerous. That informed me that the teacher's motivation for meditating was hovering about in the 'janas', or that feeling of euphoria. Mindfulness is more about being in the moment, with a wide feeling of awareness, and carrying out any task without being drawn away by thoughts which are irrelevant at that moment.
Sarah Douglas mentioning ME/CFS brings to mind that having both it and autism can make life, umm, shall we say, rather more 'interesting' than I would have desired.
This video is the best in-depth explanation of burn-out I have found... I'm saving it to my play list so when my employer asks what's wrong I will explain as best I can and then simply direct them to this video... Trying to explain this to someone who has never had to look into autism before is hard enough without being in a state of, or close to burn out... Most of the time they simply think I'm making it up or being overly dramatic... Believing me to be a hypochondriac... Or being in a male only environment as I am most of the time I am simply seen as "just being a pussy"...
Thank you for such an informative and relatable video. Something of particular challenge seems to be saying no. This is an important variable in burnout as it means that very quickly things can become very intense, overwhelming and cause burnout. I've found the challenging aspect of saying no, along with susceptibility to sensory/social overload to be incredibly difficult, along with the feeling of loneliness and isolation that comes with all of it too. Thanks agsin for sharing
Appreciate your thoughts on this, been a year of burnout for me that's actually lead me to discover my autism, bit of a baptism of fire at the age of 31, although I've thought I was on the spectrum since just before the pandemic, as I'd coped for so long I'd put it more to one side, which was made easier by not wanting to overhwlem health services with everything going on, bad timing really. For me covid caused the burnout, working in IT it was us that made it possible for people to work at home, lots of issues, problems & puzzles to solve but before I could fix everything I broke down entirely. I couldn't solve any of these issues anymore and trying to think about anything in my field just caused frustration with that brain fog and a loss of confidence/competence in skills, I've been back to work a number of times only to last a maximum of a month before I feel it again. It's very difficult when you have built up a working relationship on your experise/abilities and the skills just vanish. Wondering whether I need a career swap or, just wait for the counsellors and doctors to help me get back to it.
I’m experiencing burnout at the mount after months of corona lockdown and have a child with disabilities. I also have lots of support around being a parent and keeping my housing clean. I find structure good but hard at the same time as don’t like it to be to Ridged it needs some flexibility
Been dealing with burn out for the last 3 years I had my own apartment worked for the same job for 6 year was trying to get full time job but was trying to prove to my self and others that I can do it but then I ended up having a panic attack at work and started getting in a dark mind set were I was having constant suicidal thoughts and was in and out of the hospital but now I am starting to understand more about autism and starting to feel better about it as long as I work with it and not against it
i’ve just started my first job and i’m working about 4-5 times, it involves so much social interaction and everything is overwhelming and i don’t know how to handle it.
My son is currently in burn out as soon as I chang a part of his routine or I say no or if he feels like we don't understand he struggles, these last few years have been really hard it was going good for 6-8 months I thought I was doing right and I had everything In control but these last couple weeks I realized I don't, sometimes his melt downs only last 1-2 min the hard ones last 1-2 hours sometimes longer and where I live I don't see really any support for single moms with special needs my one and only support teams are his school ,he's not on any meds because I didn't want to put such a small child on meds but now I'm really thinking about it. He is autistic,ADHD with violent tendencies when he's not in burn out he's such a sweet,happy, beautiful that loves everything and everybody I really liked this video and well we are in 2022 and still have the pandemic:(
I'm In burn out mode for the past several years straight to not being showed enough support from family and friends. Now I choose to jeep to myself all the time now. Feeling exhausted and extremely discouraged from social events. I no longer care about anything, including my physical appearance.
I thank the Lord Jesus for making me autistic. Being diagnosed at 47 shed so much light on why my growing up experiences didn't seem to match those of other people my age. Now that I understand my differences I can identify and accommodate my needs to avoid, as best as possible, melt downs and burn outs. I used to think I was either physically ill or just plain lazy sometimes when I actually was socially exhausted which led to burnt out. If I have a calendar with multiple social engagements on consecutive days, I can expect to need a day to sleep for a much longer time than usual. Once refreshed I can resume activities again.
Dealing with bad burnout for the past few months after an 18hr travle. I just haven't recouped complete and my friends have a hard time understanding. I just sleep and all I can do is sleep till I've regained my energy. It's so upsetting but I'm learning that when I can nap, I do and that helps alot. Even when im not tired my brain is tired subconsciously and I need to remember that even if I'm not feeling tired, I am.
I remember sitting in exams with my mind a blank, not recognising the questions, somehow I got through. More seriously after a breakdown which finished me at work, and through which the GP's efforts just made things worse, when I learned to ignore the medics advice, dump the drugs, I went through a process of re-visiting books, music and just about anything to at least recognise my life that I seemed to have forgotten. I seemed to have forgotten who I was. I still functioned... sort of, but empty. The process took years.
, I don't know why autistic burnout is not recognized because you just explain my life right now. I'm glad I'm not alone and there's a reasoning for it. At least that part of it makes me feel better. How do I get out of it? I didn't know I was autistic until this year I just thought this was how life was and how you are supposed to feel.
Time, support and self care believe me I turn 41 next year and I’ve had Aspergers and ADHD all my life but was late diagnosed. I’ve experienced many burnout periods in my time.
I am realizing that it's exactly what I am experiencing right now! I am constantly exhausted and everything is a huge effort that seems unsurmountable. I work full-time but I barely have enough energy to do it.
I think I've been in burnout for years but my survival skills were still in go mode cause of dealing with abuse. It's gotten so bad that I finally had to walk out of my job because I couldn't take masking anymore at a job that would fill me with dread (cooking at a bar). While my other job makes me so happy (taking care of puppies),and though I maybe tired or not feeling well, I feel better hanging with furbabies ❤️
I definitely agree with the 'saying no and simplifying your life' mantra. However, I find that the only things I can sustainably cut from my life when I'm in burnout are the things that I actually enjoy doing - my hobbies, exercise, etc. I find that this leads to a catch-22 situation: I'm either constantly crashing because I'm balancing my hobbies and fitness routine with work; or, I just stick to the things I need to do to exist but which bring me no pleasure (i.e. go to work, sleep, repeat), which leads to me becoming unmotivated and lethargic anyway. Can anyone relate? Anyone have a way around this?
This was my "strategy" as well until I noticed that nothing enjoyable was left in my life. I slowly started to try and do those things more but it was at the cost of socializing. I have a handful of friends left who I hope won't cut ties even if we only meet in person a few times a year.
I do this all the time. I have to cut my hobbies. Completing my homework, even if I have multiple meltdowns, matters more to me than my physical and mental health. I can’t function unless it’s done but the burnout takes away my ability to start.
I 100% relate to this. Running on adrenaline to get work done and do it perfectly. Then being so happy about getting the work done... until I relax and crash completely. Or crash before Im done with the important work (like my MSc thesis). I agree completely... running on adrenaline is a dangerous trap. I got burnt out and was not able to do anything for 5 months. Then recovered over the course of a year, finished the thesis and slipped back into the same pattern. Though, this time burnt out again because of work. Now that Im better again (and enrolled in a PhD) I will really try to not do the same mistake again... its so easy to slip back into it.
Thank you so much! It did help a lot Sometimes it's hard to mot feel completely alienated and you made me feel seen and understood Also thanks to the lovely people sharing their advice 🙏
When I get burn out, I too go to bed, sometimes it can last for days and I only emerge for the necessaries. Luckily, my husbands understands and goes with the flow. Once it has passed, I emerge happy as if nothing had happened.
There seem to be no empirical studies about the physiology of 'autistic burnout', yet - just a collection and comparison of personal accounts ('Grounded Delphi method'). But the description of pushing through natural feelings of tiredness until the body releases adrenalin sounds pretty relatable - to the point of simply letting tasks and demands slide in order to find actual, _unfamiliar_ rest - with sleep really as the favoured 'activity'. In consequence, retreating into an even more reclusive environment and a line of work that doesn't require an 'external schedule', but mere presence e.g. for creative work, seems highly desirable. 'Saying no' isn't just a matter of socializing and minor favours, in my experience - it means resolving existential conflicts of interests, either by finding common ground or by moving on in separation, e.g. in recent years when custom and laws of the land appear to become emotive, arbitrary or outright oppressive - a difficult step when aging and the natural drive is already diminishing and there are no funds, to make the respective arrangements. As always, *just being able to confront the experience by naming it, is already useful* and offers some relief.
This is why as an adult woman I can only listen to Harry Potter, James Herriott or Matilda to go to sleep anytime I go to sleep lol It eases my brain into safe mode.
I’m 23 and I was diagnosed with autism in 2020. I’ve been dealing with extreme fatigued for almost 4 years now. My life was stolen from me. I had to quit college and my job because I couldn’t leave my bed, slept 10 - 20 hours a day, slept right through my alarm clocks and I was extremely exhausted. No matter how much I slept I always woke up exhausted. I got non 24 hour sleep wake disorder later in 2021. I kept pushing myself to still walk at least 10000 steps a day but that really backfired. At one point I couldn’t even walk for 5 minutes or talk for half an hour. I would become so incredibly tired, dizzy and lightheaded. Sometimes I’d get headaches or felt sick. I felt like I could literally pass out at any moment. I even had to quit therapy because of it. I couldn’t cook so I barely ate yet I gained weight. I kept doing weird stuff on auto pilot. I keep forgetting where I put stuff. I sometimes throw stuff in the trash that don’t belong there. Bright lights or day light make me feel nauseous and it causes extreme headaches. I can’t leave the house during the day without a cap or sunglasses. Sounds became unbearable to me. I barely had sensory issues before this. I keep making weird typos but I could’ve sworn I wrote the correct word. I became really insecure about it so now I’m just rereading my comments over and over again to hopefully fish out all the mistakes. Now I still sleep at least 10 hours a day. I’m able to walk 30-40 minutes a day on most days but it’s nothing compared to what I used to be able to do. I don’t know if this is a burnout or chronic fatigued syndrome. Maybe something else. I went to my gp so many times I lost count but I never got answers. I did multiple blood tests but everything seems to be fine. I only had vitamin D deficiency but that’s fixed now and it didn’t help. I don’t know what to do anymore. It started when I was 19 and now my life is slowly being wasted before my eyes and no one has been able to help me so far.
When I was eighteen I lost my ability to speak and read and thought it was merely due to PTSD. However upon the suggestion of my therapist that I might be on the spectrum, I'm wondering if this was burnout. When I did regain some of my speech it was always with a weird intonation that was always off. And I used to use scripts in social situations. But this wasn't an issue for me growing up. When growing up I was just my weird quirky and chatty self who got bullied for being loud.
I'm not diagnosed but highly suspect I'm autistic I deal with these issues on a daily basis I get to where I can't talk I haven't been able to hold down a job when i do have one it lasts for 3 months until I freak out and can't do it anymore I'm constantly being expected to do things that I just can't do anymore and it makes me feel so worthless and defective and anytime I say anything all I get is how much easier my life is than others and how i need to pull my weight and itey so so hard everyday but it feels impossible when leaving my house causes me immense problems recently I've been thinking about taking my own life things have been stressing me out so bad every day that I wake up is worse than the day before and anytime I ask for help from the people around me I just get the suck it up buttercup talk I don't want to live this way anymore but it seems impossible to get away I cant afford to see a specialist and I especially can't afford to see a specialist who doesn't believe women can have autism I dont even want to be here anymore i try so hard to find happiness but its like everytime i take a step forward i take 2 steps back I feel like I'm living in hell
Don't be too hard on yourself. Even after seeing a specialist 3 years ago I still haven't gotten anywhere myself. The only difference is knowing why I am the way I am. Try reaching out to Charity organisations
Hi @Purpleella I'm in the middle of a burnout and can't seem to get myself to write my essays for uni. I can't seem to work. My masking is almost impossible. I have had all the symptoms of the adrenaline state you mentioned. I'm on the waiting list for an autism assessment and have no idea when I'll get it. So I can't work but not sure I can get PIP so have no money. I have no idea what to do.
YES, the adrenaline like state. I was convinced I was bipolar due to the anxious highs followed by a complete crash. Usually most prominent when pushing really hard to do something out of my normal range
Thank you for this. It’s very helpful as I am trying to figure out if I have Autism and I have a list of questions on the topic that I have yet to research cause I am trying to do everything else I have to do/ deal with and I end up forgetting then remembering when i don’t have the capacity to do do and funny enough I’m typing as I listen and just heard you talking about capacity for the day haha nice..
In one year, I lost my job, home, found another home, and another job, lost my home, found a better job, found a home, wrecked my car, and got laid off. Took about 2 years to recover and still, I'd rather watch Netflix than do the kind of projects I used to enjoy.
I went into a burnout over a year ago. Usually I function pretty well, I study astrophysics at university and when people learn that I'm autistic they often put me into the "genius nerd" category. But as I got increasingly burnt out, I realized that I suddenly had trouble understanding things. It felt like I had become stupid when the lady at the doctor's office gave me instructions and I had to ask three times because I just couldn't process the information.
I was so distraught. I couldn't live on my own anymore, I barely got through my exams and didn't _understand_ things anymore. Loud sudden noises now made me cry. I had to take an ongoing break from university. I could barely speak anymore in group settings.
And I feel like some people, who used to dismiss my autism as the "fun, harmless kind", are suddenly a lot less understanding of it now that I exhibit behaviours like this. It really hurts, because I'm not the genius they thought I was. I can't be that. Trying to has almost destroyed me.
People give you a pass for being a weirdo if they think you're hyperintelligent. But I don't want to try to "make up for" my neurodivergency like that anymore. I just want to be myself and be happy. I don't need to be a genius for that to be okay.
How to survive then
Sending so much love - you are loved and accepted as yourself!
Gosh I feel this so much.. I'm no astro physicist but I understand how difficult and worrying it is when your brain won't function properly. I know my gp thinks I'm a bit thick which frustrates the hell out of me! I used to be so quick witted and sharp brained, my memory was brilliant but now I feel like there's a hole in my head where the information falls out as soon as its gone in. I feel as I've struggled with the burnout that I've become more autistic than I've ever felt.. The inability to mask or socialise, the extra sensitivities to everything. And it's made me realise how cruel the term "high functioning autistic" is and how it sets people up for burnout with the subsequent lack of understanding or tolerance just when we need understanding and compassion the most.
I hope you find your way through and all of us in the same situation recover in a sustainable way.
@Baguette Gott
✨🤗✨
All of you.
Take Care
✨🤗✨
I don't know whether I have autism but I have anxiety and definitely understand burnout. I tried to work fulltime but quickly realised I just wasn't capable of that. I was so exhausted and stressed. Now I only work 3 days a week. People at work kept asking why I only want to work part time and what do i do on my days off! I don't want to explain that I spend most of my days off resting and recovering from my 3 days of work so I don't have a breakdown ! They just wouldnt understand 😝
Omfg me too! I haven’t worked in years signed myself up for 4 days a week and boy was I shocked I was a nightmare :( I put myself down for one day because I simply couldn’t cope. I’ve done my one day this week and I’m already beyond my people limit. There’s no way I’m having a social life on top of this
I feel this
One of the hardest things about this is living in a world with people that don't understand because all of the things that we have a hard time with are easy for them. Especially when it's your own spouse. 😔
Me: I am so exhausted, I have been going Non-Stop and I feel like I just crashed into a wall.
Husband: well let's go to that barbecue, it'll make you feel better just to get out and socialize.
😳😡😡😡😡😡😡😡
That can be pretty frustrating. My of frustration is my Mom or others being off subject with me
That is the most frustrating thing to hear as an autistic. Getting out and socialising makes it worse, not better!! 😖😖😖
Your husband can feel burnout as well.
Even family who are supposed to understand don’t
@@hllyenaylleth9576 well yes, but thats not the same type of burnout as autistic burnout.
He probably heals best when going out to social gatherings. But apperantly is not informed about how an autistic burnout is supposed to be treated.
If you listened to the video, youd notice autistic burnout is helped by avoiding stimulating places and taking a mental rest.
Since I learned about my autism, I'm now trying to reduce the things in my life that may lead to burnout, like allowing myself to rest when I feel mentally tired, being mindful of sensory inputs that I would otherwise try to ignore and reducing stress from social encounters by lowering my expectations both for myself and others. Implementing all that takes time and practice and with a full time job there are stressful things that are simply unavoidable. But reducing stress from other sources makes it less likely that the work will cause a kind of burnout that might incapacitate me for weeks or months (which has happened before).
Your words are meaningful and well-written. Great contribution to the conversation. Cheers!
Yes, I know what you mean.
@Big Dog Yeah... That's why I wrote a document of 20+ pages detailing every aspect of my autism with a graph of my comorbidities, PRIOR to my official evaluation. That's what "normal" people usually do, right?
If you can't tell, I'm being aggressively sarcastic here.
My burnout isn't exactly the same as others, but I do feel symptoms of it. It's that feeling of being overwhelmed and numb to too many stressors at once that you just...shut down and don't want to deal with anything. I haven't experienced any meltdowns but I have felt the urge to cry sometimes from the weight I feel myself carrying.
Crying is good!! In fact I haven't done that in a while (not for want of trying though) so allow yourself to cry if you can. Hope you are doing better a year later.
suffered from this for two decades. surrounded by abusive gas lighters who would put all of it on me and say I was bad. I have only learnt now that a burnout exists from this video..
Learning to say "No." Is so so important. I needed to hear that as a helpful reminder, thanks Ella!
If only people listened nobody seems to accept when I say no
@@Dancestar1981 Me too until I retired when I could easily ignore them.
I had a burn out at 16, I forced myself to finish high school, which was a nightmare. Nowadays I feel constantly on edge and have no mental endurance, it feels like my autism has amplified, the burnout was 3 years ago, and I see no real perspective for me. Meditation and spirituality bring some relief, but still everything overloads me, everything is irritating, my executive functioning is constantly confused. I cannot focus, I cannot enjoy my hobbies as they're too irritating. When I structure my day and accomplish something for my own self, I get an internal feeling of unrest, and afterwards cannot sleep all night.
I need extreme calm and stability, and I constantly re-burn myself if I get thrown off balance and require several days to recover, I feel damaged beyond repair and like I can never be really functional in society, but I don't want to sell myself to a societally endorsed zombie routine even if I could, because I know this would just really kill me - and I fear that any kind of work or college would be going to do that to me, even if I wanted to - it seems like I have a PTSD like reaction to the school system, and project it on these things. I'd need a lot of accommodations - especially nothing that is more than 10h a week. I seriously feel too weak to live. It seems like there's no future perspective. I also have Complex PTSD due to family abuse and this makes things even more irritating and triggering and hopeless, as I depend on my abusive family. I'll probably get on disability benefits sooner or later. I might start breeding cats or some nonsense like that, I cannot otherwise work. I am so young, and yet I feel robbed of my own self and life. I am supposedly gifted, but I cannot even think clearly anymore.
@Mairon Aulendil, Stay strong! You are not alone. ♡
I resonate so deeply with your story.
I had a burnout as well when I was 17. I remember saying to my mother: "I don't know why I feel this way, I am not even working much?"
1 month later, my therapist said that I am autistic. At first I felt like that meant I am weak or not good enough. But now I can finally see that it is not bad to live a life that looks a little bit different.
And I am thankful for my burnouts and all the depression to show me, that I don't have to compare myself to other people.
But: I can relate to the feeling of being robbed. I used to love concerts, hiking and dancing. These are things I now fear. I am scared to feel burnout when I do them.
Most of the time I can just meet friends for 2 hours. And that makes me sad.
But there is also a lot of hope to be found. These years of struggle sometimes lead to spiritual growth.
Maybe you have a passion or a dream.
Follow it.
And don't let society judge you. Burnout is something that will probably happen to anyone because everyone has to be productive all the time. The best you can do is when you find ways to free yourself of all the shame and guilt
I try to do the same.
And reach out to people who can understand and support you
How does it feel when You *watch familiar movies* - or _play familiar, sooting video games_ - as was briefly adressed in the video ?
I noticed that the latter does change my state without putting effort into it - when nothing else seems it would.
" It seems like there's no future perspective (...)" "breeding cats" (lol)
As a professional prospect, how does the thought of being self-employed feel ?
Maybe, handling livestock e.g. is an idea as animals 'give back' ?
If You are intelligent above average, maybe 'fumbling' Your way into biological research (breeding) feels rewarding and a long distance degree could be the payoff for suffering high-school (college is usually less 'schooled', but still revolving entirely around schedules and formality - versus solving questions).
I know this post is a year old but ahah this is very relatable! Grew up with an antisocial narcissistic stepdad and neglectful & bipolar mom, was treated badly by teachers at school who thought I was intentionally being difficult from the way I acted and was constantly made to feel like I was bad. Finished high school a year ago, started working at subway and began having anxiety attacks daily thanks to it. Quit that job and now I just stay at my moms house all day every day, barely even engaging in my hobbies just cause I don’t see any point and it gets frustrating. Can’t move out cause I can’t work enough to even pay rent each month. Not able to interact with new people socially without being awkward and forcing myself out of the situation. Sometimes I don’t even like the few people in my life that I can comfortably interact with, which makes me feel like an ass. I just don’t know what the hell someone who feels like this is supposed to do, mom sometimes still treats me like I’m just being a jerk when I get overstimulated and irritable. Medicaid won’t email me back so haven’t been to therapy for over two years. Life in America is a bitch for neurodivergent people especially. I’m glad someone else is going through what I am though you seem cool
Autistic burnout really resonates with me... even though I don't have autism. As a teen, I believed that my awkwardness meant I didn't deserve to belong, so I spent most of my energy trying to "fix" myself. I found school easy and barely had to study... until school became harder too. At the end of my last year of university, I had a hard time getting out of bed in the morning, wanted to sleep all the time, possibly had a depressive episode, and believed the things my depressed, low self-esteem mind told me. Looking back now, having done a lot of healing, it was really awful back then. At the time it's like my brain was protecting me from knowing how bad it was.
Thank you for this. It's the 1st time I've heard the term "chronic burnout", which I believe I've been struggling with for over 14yrs now. It's been made worse by not being able to get a diagnosis. Hearing that term has made these last, horrible years make perfect sense.
Same here... It's been 12 years for me now. Still sort of burnt out. So exhausted, so frustrated.
Thanks for the information. Burnout is common in an autistic world.
Soooo, this is happening to me now. I suffered from episodes I put down to mental illness. Tuns out they are "meltdowns". I was taken aback when the guy assessing me pulled out an autism questionnaire, even more so when I got a high score and referred for testing. I've looked into autism, and I've hidden it so well, even I didn't realise I could possibly have it. I'm paying for that now. Big time.
Ah!! This "adrenaline" state is why I was previously Dx'd as bipolar! Thank you for sharing!!
Running on adrenaline will inevitably lead to “adrenal fatigue” which is well documented on the internet. It is cumulative as well so as soon as we all learn to fight adrenaline surges and try our hardest to not react then recovery can begin. I always think that if I’m over adrenalised I will pay for this in the future maybe next week or in 6 months time. Conversely if I consciously reject the adrenaline surge I will increase my life long recovery effort. Now it’s difficult and I used to worry I might seem boring staying calm, but boring is better than living in burnout. Great vid. Stay safe everyone ❤️
Very true are you recovered now
As a female disabled vet (recently diagnosed at 30 as autistic), the diagnosis helped explain a lot. It helps me identify a bit more what’s going on. One time I found myself so mentally exhausted I just collapsed on the floor. Like I literally lost the will to walk and my muscles aches and I felt weak everywhere. I don’t like talking out loud and my kids are asking me if I’m okay. I have patience for them thank God. They’re patient and know what I’m going through. My daughter sat next to me and hugged me saying “it’ll be okay”. I felt numb but calm.
The most disabling thing about burnout, is being pressured and scolded during the burnout for not being able to do anything, which makes some burnouts take years. It can result in losing your job, home or even worse.
When you don't have a safe space and time to retreat and recharge, the world only keeps adding fuel to the fire. And they keep pushing and pushing.
I’d like to see if the parallel universe where neurodivergent people are the status quo is a better or a worse world to live in.
They seem like headless chickens
Oh yes.
👍
Ikr! Fan fic fodder!
A world with no TVs constantly on, people talk one at a time, spaces are organized and people have passionate interests? Sign me up!
It’s got me thinking. I know I need to decompress at the end of a long busy day, but I rarely get the chance to - with everyone else at home all day right now, when I get home there’s just too much to do and nobody else who’ll do it (they certainly won’t during the day). So often the first chance I have to relax is when I go to bed - and then I can’t sleep. And then I get a day like today (or, more usually, weekends) where I could be making use of the free time - but can’t be motivated to do so...
You poor thing! I used to have the same problem when I was a teenager, so I created a cosy corner for me to escape, even if only for an hour, and ironically it was the bathroom! I would clean it thoroughly and spray air freshener and just sit there and breathe!!
Can relate tv and sunny weather or stress cause it. People putting md umder pressure to comform likd being strong or enjoying travel. It caused me insomnia and wore me out. I cant work easily and cant meet people as much. I fedl they dont understand. Im not doing this after lockdown.
Getting blinds. Travrl mskes me sick and miserable. I mihht be much more if peopld had listened. I have part time work though say no if you have to.
@@mblake4007 not a bad idea thanks
yup ... I am pretty sure I am in aspie burnout mode now ... and have been for a few weeks. I am unable to do simple tasks, even though I am usual very sharp. Thank you for sharing the phrase "burnout", it is a more accurate term than shutdown for what I am experiencing ... :)
This makes sense with my daughter. Her last year in high school covid hit she was finally socializing and getting comfortable then anxiety kicked in. These videos help. With my daughter's autism she doesn't always speak up. These videos help. I give her space it helps her to deal. Thank you for the education
as i get older and listen to autistic people speak i realize i wasn’t severely depressed , i have severe autistic burnouts
I have both I have extreme depression since I was a child and I’m also very autistic recently I went to the mall with my mom and when I came back I felt like I was traumatized I felt horrible I didn’t know why maybe because 99% of the time I spend my time in isolation and when I went out I tried to avoid looking at people I was just looking at the floor or other things because when I see people looking at me I get really scared and anxious
I used to burn out alot. But I try to live in low arousal environment with candles, soft toys, books and phone switched off! I stim daily, I wear rings in order to use as fiddle with to feel grounded and able to distract myself from overstimulation. Also living just generally a slow lifestyle and embracing my creativity especially music (you can find on my channel), vision portraits using pen and pencil to calm myself and explore emotions and also dancing as one of my major stims. Learning self care and self efficaciousness. Take care and sending love to you all 💕
I wonder how hard this is on the adrenal glands and cortisol levels.
I noticed more autistic videos are from the UK than any other country, people in the united states don't want to hear about it. I am an autistic savant adult in Texas, people here act like autism is a form of retardation and discriminate horribly against autistic people. What burns me out most is avoiding hate crimes & bullying against me, also the PTSD after each attack.
I’m in Texas as well!
I’m in Texas and don’t feel that way at all. If you are honest about things, most people will listen.
I feel the same way about alot of people in the health care field especially treat people diagnosed with asd horribly. I worked in the field too, not everyone is as nice as they seem, its all about money in the end, very sad. No one can just be honest.
Perhaps it is just recognised more in more civilised countries?
I have adrenal insufficiency disease ( I don’t make enough cortisol for stress etc) and I’m sure that my autistic burnout really affects me a great deal.
Omg the living on adrenaline is too real. I can only clean when hangry
Thanks for your videos. I'm 37 and have now realised that I have a lot of Autistic traits going back to childhood. I relate to a lot of your content so I'm going to talk to my GP about an assessment.
Good luck with that. It's a 3 year wait and support for adults on the spectrum is non existent.
@@PSG81 That's disappointing. I'll talk to my GP at some point but at least I know not to expect too much.
I grew up in an abusive home and I finally Just moved out late last year into my mom’s house that is much safer. I think I’ve been in early stages of burn out for years now and I’m finally crashing. Being out of that environment made me think I’d just get better and things would be easy again like when I was little, but they’re not. I can’t remember what it feels like to not be mentally and physically exhausted.
I’m not diagnosed autistic, but I’ve done months and months of research that have led me to believe I might be. Because my anxiety, nor my PTSD explain all the struggles in life I’ve had for as long as I can remember. Even to the point where my stepdad calls me an alien and every few months someone mentions my lack of eye contact or their annoyance at my hours long book rants (which I’ve been struggling to even get into recently because writing has been shoved out of my mind). This video really helped and I’m going to try to impliment strategies you mentioned into my own life to try to make things better. I grew up pushing myself past my limit to basically mother my little brother, take care of my father, stay in the top 10% of my class in school, play travel softball, etc. All of that has been harder for me to juggle than anyone else I know and I’ve never been able to figure out why, I think autism is a factor and it led to burn out.
I actually do that tecnique watch something over again, its my comfort and i like it and i hope things get better for u
I find it so hard to stop and think about what my body and mind need do I hit burnout, great to hear I’m not alone and can help myself 💕💕 thanks Ella
I watched this tonight knowing full well that I’m in burnout. I had a melt down at work yesterday and called off today. I didn’t have the capacity to make myself a sandwich today to eat, let alone work. My husband has been with me today and made sure I got food in me eventually. I really appreciate this video. I sent it to him so he can understand a bit more.
Makes sense to me...big burnouts thru my life. Running on adrenaline most my life, I’m in my 60’s Now I know how to deal with it.
Meditation can be done in several ways. If sitting still doesn't work, there's walking meditation. At the end of the day, doing anything that allows you to get into a flow state, a meditative mind state so you can just do the activity without thinking about it, is meditation. That can be washing dishes or swimming or just walking and experiencing your breathing, etc.
Mindfulness in activities is good! I have hard time meditating also.
Hi Purple Ella. Your video makes sense to me & is identifiable, it also helps bring clarity as its good to know that we as autistic people are able to watch a video that fully understandings that we are neurologically wired in a different way & need to navigate our way through life in our own unique way.
Purple people is a great name for the group! 🙂
Gosh! Perfect timing! Thank you Purple Ella!
The thought of losing all of the skills I love terrifies me greatly!
You have no idea how reassuring, helpful and useful this video is. Thankyou so much.
Omg this is crazy. I have never in my life heard someone explain exactly what I’m going thru. I’m not sure if I am on the spectrum but this is exactly how I feel.
Great video, insights and suggestions. I just figured out I'm on the spectrum and it makes SO much sense. I've also had diabetes most of my life (I'm 53) and fibromyalgia for at least 15years (which I also figured out myself and couldn't get a Dr diagnosis until recently). Content like this is so helpful. My welfare level health clinic has been more traumatizing than beneficial. Imagine having your 'Dr' (the only healthcare my insurance covers, and having zero income) argue w you, dismiss your symptoms and belittle your pain, physical as well as psychological? It's been a nightmare. Frankly I would never choose western medicine treatments but after I became homeless and unemployed (bc of fibro and suicidal depression), that became the only way for me to get my insulin prescribed. Fortunately I was awarded disability this year and the financial stability is making it easier for me to take better care of myself. I'm very much appreciating the helpful content on ASD. It's really helping me to understand myself and my life, looking back and looking forward. Thank you!
Oh my gosh!! You have just described my experience from since the pandemic started to this day. I didn’t know about this. I’m not formally diagnosed but I strongly suspect I’m in the spectrum. Thank you so much for this video!!! I’m glad you made it make a little bit more sense, because I just felt like I’m falling apart for no reason. ❤️🩹
This was helpful. I'm not diagnosed yet (having an evaluation soon), but have always tried to structure my life around what I think I *should* be capable of, rather than what I actually am capable of. I've constantly been in a cycle of plowing through and then crashing.
It's a whole mindset shift learning to say no and not mentally beat myself up over having different limits to others.
I also really relate to having that extra downtime or reduced demands, getting used to it, and then feeling that I'm not capable of as much as I was before. But rather than thinking I've "become lazy", I'm realising my true limits are actually way lower than where I was attempting to operate.
It's like when you're functioning long-term on reduced sleep (my almost 4yo still wakes at least a couple of times), have a night of extra sleep, and feel way more tired because your body has remembered what sleep is 😅
Exercise is supposed to be good for self-regulation. This does not mean that more exercise means more self-regulation. If you have a regular programme, like yoga or walking the dog, it may be helpful to stick with it, but I think it might be better not to increase what you do as an attempt to stave off burnout.
Your videos are literally my voice. You are able to say exactly what I feel. You are able to help me understand things I don’t even understand about myself. Thank you ❤️
thank you so much for this video! i feel less alone in this journey of burnout recovery
hows it going so far?
I'm new to all of this...I'm curious if anyone else has exited stressful work environments, but have found that keeping up being a Mom has been leading to burnout. It's like keeping up and maintaining the household and pretending to have it all together is completely exhausting. I've been healing at a deep level, and it's been exposing me authentically. And it's almost as if those layers have been removed, I've been brought down to the basics of how difficult basic life is for me. I don't have a diagnosis and haven't even talked to anyone about it yet. But the first quote you had about burnout resonated so deeply with me that I cried.
I'm currently going through burnout; possibly autistic burnout because I'm autistic and burned out. I keep thinking of that episode in Avatar: the Last Airbender where Zuko has a completely psychgenic illness because of conflicting parts of his identity and is in a fever on the floor. That's kind of what if feels like for me. I feel like I have a cold and I feel like I desperately need someone to come and help me finish my tasks the way I do for other people, but no one's volunteering.
I have fibromylagia which I really think is mild chronic fatigue syndrome since fatigue and not pain is my main symptom (though I do feel constant, dull aches during my bad days). I'm used to being overwhelmed with work and then freaking out about it for a little while before rising to meet the challenge. I call these "pheonix moments." Currently, I just feel like I've burned up into a useless state and I'm still waiting to be reborn in flames... and waiting; and waiting. I'm really worried because there's no way I can get through life like this. I know that what I really need is social interaction and exercise but thanks to COVID-19, I can't get those things. I can get exercise, but the type of exercise I find is much less effective, as only elliptical machine helps without precipitating a flareup.
In the last month I got both diagnosed with Autism and had a burnout. (F34)
For me, the moment the burnout happened was very intense, i couldn't concentrate anymore, panicked, couldnt filter sound anymore. That week I was super irritated by certain noises, was exhausted both mentally and physically. It took me 4 weeks to feel like my old self again and then I had another burnout event happen. Seemingly out of the blue. Im now recovering from that second event and this time Im trying to learn to notice stress and anxiety better and take more rest.
Yoga has been immensely helpful, especially Adriene's videos. I also noticed how singing or humming worked quite well to reduce anxiety and stress. Apparently this stimulates the parasympatis nervous system, which is the counter to the stress system.
I have so much in common with autistic traits like this. I always assumed most of it was from my childhood trauma and being in perpetual hypervigilance. But the more i think about it perhaps i could really be on the spectrum. Especially considering i have two kids who are autistic, but somehow got the idea that I was not! I dont even know who I would go to for dx. The last thing I want to do is to have a million questions to answer on my lifetime of struggles and weirdness.
I resonate with this so much. My hypervigilance and neurodiversity go hand in hand. They predict one another. I think instead of focusing on a dx I've just come to accept that my autism and adhd are part of growing up hypervigilant in a turbulent household and all of those things equate to make me, me. Its super hard sometimes I'm just coming out of a burnout now, I'm 4 years into a medical degree got a couple years left to go and it will be the death of me I swear 😆 however I persevere because I know I am worthy of the same things a neuronormative person is i just take a little longer to get there and have to go through several near death burnouts to get there 🤪
Sending you so much love x x x
@@megankeily4858 wow. Congrats and good luck with your medical training!
Notice that nearly all the comments are from women. Thank you for the excellent description. As a man, I can notionally relate to the overall "burnout" feeling. But, I cannot imagine having the self-awareness to assess "daily capacity" and adjust in real-time. That would be nice. As a rule, men do not self-evaluate emotions. Instead, like most men, I put my head down, ignore my feelings, and simply push through. I am sure there are personal consequences (irritability, tiredness, and reduced performance). I don't know if this behavior is cultural or genetic. I think this illustrates some of the differences between men and women.
It is cause we men all around the world are teached since early on that we need to control ourselves always and never show emotions since that is girly.
I have burnout all the time, am autistic and love watching the big bang theory on repeat
Coming off alot of medication, and having pushed my body so far when i have alot of illnesses (im trying for a eds diagnosis myself currently) everyone just has u think ifs from ur illness or your chronic fatigue but when i learned about autistic burnout and was able to try to be more mindful of some stuff but i find i get exhausted focising so much still on health. So this post really spoke to me right now. U really need to get in touch with how ur feeling so you know what is setting you off. I really love your posts!
I have heds how are you now
Thanks, Ella! Being late-identified, burnout has undoubtedly become a significant obstacle for me in later life and probably has been throughout my adult life.
Re 8:35 - by applying mindfulness to everyday tasks you are doing mindfulness 'properly'. Focussing on breathing and 'body scanning' are exercises to help you find the place where you can be mindful in other situations. I remember telling one of my meditation teachers that I meditate while driving. I was told that that was impossible and dangerous. That informed me that the teacher's motivation for meditating was hovering about in the 'janas', or that feeling of euphoria. Mindfulness is more about being in the moment, with a wide feeling of awareness, and carrying out any task without being drawn away by thoughts which are irrelevant at that moment.
Very helpful. Please add the link for energy accounting into the description.
I've been in total burnout for at least 5 years, severe chronic fatigue and dizziness, but can't rest due to having a baby
How could you have the confidence to have a baby while you were in such a severe burnout? Honest question.
Sarah Douglas mentioning ME/CFS brings to mind that having both it and autism can make life, umm, shall we say, rather more 'interesting' than I would have desired.
Autism ADHD is the cause for CFS threw adrenal fatigue ime living it check out Dr lenz
Hi Purple we listened to this video in the group today. Thanks.
This video is the best in-depth explanation of burn-out I have found... I'm saving it to my play list so when my employer asks what's wrong I will explain as best I can and then simply direct them to this video... Trying to explain this to someone who has never had to look into autism before is hard enough without being in a state of, or close to burn out... Most of the time they simply think I'm making it up or being overly dramatic... Believing me to be a hypochondriac... Or being in a male only environment as I am most of the time I am simply seen as "just being a pussy"...
Thankyou for sharing this video, it has been very helpful 👍
Thank you for such an informative and relatable video. Something of particular challenge seems to be saying no. This is an important variable in burnout as it means that very quickly things can become very intense, overwhelming and cause burnout. I've found the challenging aspect of saying no, along with susceptibility to sensory/social overload to be incredibly difficult, along with the feeling of loneliness and isolation that comes with all of it too. Thanks agsin for sharing
Appreciate your thoughts on this, been a year of burnout for me that's actually lead me to discover my autism, bit of a baptism of fire at the age of 31, although I've thought I was on the spectrum since just before the pandemic, as I'd coped for so long I'd put it more to one side, which was made easier by not wanting to overhwlem health services with everything going on, bad timing really.
For me covid caused the burnout, working in IT it was us that made it possible for people to work at home, lots of issues, problems & puzzles to solve but before I could fix everything I broke down entirely. I couldn't solve any of these issues anymore and trying to think about anything in my field just caused frustration with that brain fog and a loss of confidence/competence in skills, I've been back to work a number of times only to last a maximum of a month before I feel it again. It's very difficult when you have built up a working relationship on your experise/abilities and the skills just vanish. Wondering whether I need a career swap or, just wait for the counsellors and doctors to help me get back to it.
I’m experiencing burnout at the mount after months of corona lockdown and have a child with disabilities. I also have lots of support around being a parent and keeping my housing clean. I find structure good but hard at the same time as don’t like it to be to
Ridged it needs some flexibility
This was unbelievably helpful to me
Been dealing with burn out for the last 3 years I had my own apartment worked for the same job for 6 year was trying to get full time job but was trying to prove to my self and others that I can do it but then I ended up having a panic attack at work and started getting in a dark mind set were I was having constant suicidal thoughts and was in and out of the hospital but now I am starting to understand more about autism and starting to feel better about it as long as I work with it and not against it
i’ve just started my first job and i’m working about 4-5 times, it involves so much social interaction and everything is overwhelming and i don’t know how to handle it.
How’s it going now? I’m the same so I cut it down to one day a week and it’s still too much I lose basic skills like Socializing and decision making
this is just what i needed to hear today, thank you for putting this video together
My son is currently in burn out as soon as I chang a part of his routine or I say no or if he feels like we don't understand he struggles, these last few years have been really hard it was going good for 6-8 months I thought I was doing right and I had everything In control but these last couple weeks I realized I don't, sometimes his melt downs only last 1-2 min the hard ones last 1-2 hours sometimes longer and where I live I don't see really any support for single moms with special needs my one and only support teams are his school ,he's not on any meds because I didn't want to put such a small child on meds but now I'm really thinking about it. He is autistic,ADHD with violent tendencies when he's not in burn out he's such a sweet,happy, beautiful that loves everything and everybody I really liked this video and well we are in 2022 and still have the pandemic:(
@Scentsy Sarah
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I'm In burn out mode for the past several years straight to not being showed enough support from family and friends. Now I choose to jeep to myself all the time now. Feeling exhausted and extremely discouraged from social events. I no longer care about anything, including my physical appearance.
@Janae Linder
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thank you so much for this video. it has happened to me many times.
I thank the Lord Jesus for making me autistic. Being diagnosed at 47 shed so much light on why my growing up experiences didn't seem to match those of other people my age. Now that I understand my differences I can identify and accommodate my needs to avoid, as best as possible, melt downs and burn outs. I used to think I was either physically ill or just plain lazy sometimes when I actually was socially exhausted which led to burnt out. If I have a calendar with multiple social engagements on consecutive days, I can expect to need a day to sleep for a much longer time than usual. Once refreshed I can resume activities again.
Dealing with bad burnout for the past few months after an 18hr travle. I just haven't recouped complete and my friends have a hard time understanding. I just sleep and all I can do is sleep till I've regained my energy. It's so upsetting but I'm learning that when I can nap, I do and that helps alot. Even when im not tired my brain is tired subconsciously and I need to remember that even if I'm not feeling tired, I am.
I remember sitting in exams with my mind a blank, not recognising the questions, somehow I got through. More seriously after a breakdown which finished me at work, and through which the GP's efforts just made things worse, when I learned to ignore the medics advice, dump the drugs, I went through a process of re-visiting books, music and just about anything to at least recognise my life that I seemed to have forgotten. I seemed to have forgotten who I was. I still functioned... sort of, but empty. The process took years.
I really like your vocabulary and chose of words. you described these things very well
, I don't know why autistic burnout is not recognized because you just explain my life right now. I'm glad I'm not alone and there's a reasoning for it. At least that part of it makes me feel better. How do I get out of it? I didn't know I was autistic until this year I just thought this was how life was and how you are supposed to feel.
felt that
Time, support and self care believe me I turn 41 next year and I’ve had Aspergers and ADHD all my life but was late diagnosed. I’ve experienced many burnout periods in my time.
I am realizing that it's exactly what I am experiencing right now! I am constantly exhausted and everything is a huge effort that seems unsurmountable. I work full-time but I barely have enough energy to do it.
I think I've been in burnout for years but my survival skills were still in go mode cause of dealing with abuse. It's gotten so bad that I finally had to walk out of my job because I couldn't take masking anymore at a job that would fill me with dread (cooking at a bar). While my other job makes me so happy (taking care of puppies),and though I maybe tired or not feeling well, I feel better hanging with furbabies ❤️
I definitely agree with the 'saying no and simplifying your life' mantra. However, I find that the only things I can sustainably cut from my life when I'm in burnout are the things that I actually enjoy doing - my hobbies, exercise, etc. I find that this leads to a catch-22 situation: I'm either constantly crashing because I'm balancing my hobbies and fitness routine with work; or, I just stick to the things I need to do to exist but which bring me no pleasure (i.e. go to work, sleep, repeat), which leads to me becoming unmotivated and lethargic anyway. Can anyone relate? Anyone have a way around this?
This was my "strategy" as well until I noticed that nothing enjoyable was left in my life.
I slowly started to try and do those things more but it was at the cost of socializing. I have a handful of friends left who I hope won't cut ties even if we only meet in person a few times a year.
I do this all the time. I have to cut my hobbies. Completing my homework, even if I have multiple meltdowns, matters more to me than my physical and mental health. I can’t function unless it’s done but the burnout takes away my ability to start.
You do such a good job on your channel! I just get so much from them. I can’t thank you enough. 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜
I lost the ability to do software development; complete brain fog / mental paralysis towards the task. I can no longer do it.
I 100% relate to this. Running on adrenaline to get work done and do it perfectly. Then being so happy about getting the work done... until I relax and crash completely. Or crash before Im done with the important work (like my MSc thesis). I agree completely... running on adrenaline is a dangerous trap. I got burnt out and was not able to do anything for 5 months. Then recovered over the course of a year, finished the thesis and slipped back into the same pattern. Though, this time burnt out again because of work. Now that Im better again (and enrolled in a PhD) I will really try to not do the same mistake again... its so easy to slip back into it.
Thank you so much!
It did help a lot
Sometimes it's hard to mot feel completely alienated and you made me feel seen and understood
Also thanks to the lovely people sharing their advice 🙏
I'm watching this in 2025 the pandemic is officially over. Just.
😂😹🤣 Don't we wish!
When I get burn out, I too go to bed, sometimes it can last for days and I only emerge for the necessaries. Luckily, my husbands understands and goes with the flow. Once it has passed, I emerge happy as if nothing had happened.
i really needed to see this today, thank you. 💪
There seem to be no empirical studies about the physiology of 'autistic burnout', yet - just a collection and comparison of personal accounts ('Grounded Delphi method').
But the description of pushing through natural feelings of tiredness until the body releases adrenalin sounds pretty relatable - to the point of simply letting tasks and demands slide in order to find actual, _unfamiliar_ rest - with sleep really as the favoured 'activity'.
In consequence, retreating into an even more reclusive environment and a line of work that doesn't require an 'external schedule', but mere presence e.g. for creative work, seems highly desirable.
'Saying no' isn't just a matter of socializing and minor favours, in my experience - it means resolving existential conflicts of interests, either by finding common ground or by moving on in separation, e.g. in recent years when custom and laws of the land appear to become emotive, arbitrary or outright oppressive - a difficult step when aging and the natural drive is already diminishing and there are no funds, to make the respective arrangements.
As always, *just being able to confront the experience by naming it, is already useful* and offers some relief.
Thanks for this. Really helpful 👍🏻
Energy and sensory managemnt matter.
Be comfortable saying no.
Thank you.
This is why as an adult woman I can only listen to Harry Potter, James Herriott or Matilda to go to sleep anytime I go to sleep lol It eases my brain into safe mode.
3:20 Oof, this seems relatable
(I'm saving this timestamp for later reference.)
Sometimes, I can’t do school work because I’m in burnout. It sucks :D
I’m 23 and I was diagnosed with autism in 2020. I’ve been dealing with extreme fatigued for almost 4 years now. My life was stolen from me. I had to quit college and my job because I couldn’t leave my bed, slept 10 - 20 hours a day, slept right through my alarm clocks and I was extremely exhausted. No matter how much I slept I always woke up exhausted. I got non 24 hour sleep wake disorder later in 2021. I kept pushing myself to still walk at least 10000 steps a day but that really backfired. At one point I couldn’t even walk for 5 minutes or talk for half an hour. I would become so incredibly tired, dizzy and lightheaded. Sometimes I’d get headaches or felt sick. I felt like I could literally pass out at any moment. I even had to quit therapy because of it. I couldn’t cook so I barely ate yet I gained weight. I kept doing weird stuff on auto pilot. I keep forgetting where I put stuff. I sometimes throw stuff in the trash that don’t belong there. Bright lights or day light make me feel nauseous and it causes extreme headaches. I can’t leave the house during the day without a cap or sunglasses. Sounds became unbearable to me. I barely had sensory issues before this. I keep making weird typos but I could’ve sworn I wrote the correct word. I became really insecure about it so now I’m just rereading my comments over and over again to hopefully fish out all the mistakes.
Now I still sleep at least 10 hours a day. I’m able to walk 30-40 minutes a day on most days but it’s nothing compared to what I used to be able to do. I don’t know if this is a burnout or chronic fatigued syndrome. Maybe something else. I went to my gp so many times I lost count but I never got answers. I did multiple blood tests but everything seems to be fine. I only had vitamin D deficiency but that’s fixed now and it didn’t help. I don’t know what to do anymore. It started when I was 19 and now my life is slowly being wasted before my eyes and no one has been able to help me so far.
When I was eighteen I lost my ability to speak and read and thought it was merely due to PTSD. However upon the suggestion of my therapist that I might be on the spectrum, I'm wondering if this was burnout. When I did regain some of my speech it was always with a weird intonation that was always off. And I used to use scripts in social situations. But this wasn't an issue for me growing up. When growing up I was just my weird quirky and chatty self who got bullied for being loud.
I think I've been living in burnout for the last 15 years lol
I'm not diagnosed but highly suspect I'm autistic I deal with these issues on a daily basis I get to where I can't talk I haven't been able to hold down a job when i do have one it lasts for 3 months until I freak out and can't do it anymore I'm constantly being expected to do things that I just can't do anymore and it makes me feel so worthless and defective and anytime I say anything all I get is how much easier my life is than others and how i need to pull my weight and itey so so hard everyday but it feels impossible when leaving my house causes me immense problems recently I've been thinking about taking my own life things have been stressing me out so bad every day that I wake up is worse than the day before and anytime I ask for help from the people around me I just get the suck it up buttercup talk I don't want to live this way anymore but it seems impossible to get away I cant afford to see a specialist and I especially can't afford to see a specialist who doesn't believe women can have autism I dont even want to be here anymore i try so hard to find happiness but its like everytime i take a step forward i take 2 steps back I feel like I'm living in hell
Don't be too hard on yourself. Even after seeing a specialist 3 years ago I still haven't gotten anywhere myself. The only difference is knowing why I am the way I am. Try reaching out to Charity organisations
Sending you love ❤️
@Manic Pepsicola
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I was on non prescription drugs the whole lockdown. Never thought I was autistic .
Thankyou so much Ella, you're helping us feel understood!
Thank You for this insightful & helpful information ✨🌈👋🏼
Hi @Purpleella I'm in the middle of a burnout and can't seem to get myself to write my essays for uni. I can't seem to work. My masking is almost impossible. I have had all the symptoms of the adrenaline state you mentioned. I'm on the waiting list for an autism assessment and have no idea when I'll get it. So I can't work but not sure I can get PIP so have no money. I have no idea what to do.
YES, the adrenaline like state. I was convinced I was bipolar due to the anxious highs followed by a complete crash. Usually most prominent when pushing really hard to do something out of my normal range
THANK YOU!!!
Thank you for this. It’s very helpful as I am trying to figure out if I have Autism and I have a list of questions on the topic that I have yet to research cause I am trying to do everything else I have to do/ deal with and I end up forgetting then remembering when i don’t have the capacity to do do and funny enough I’m typing as I listen and just heard you talking about capacity for the day haha nice..