Before you say, " I Do" , make sure you understand "what" narcissism all entails, as if you are tricked by one, your health, peace n joy is at stake, and if children involved later, they too will suffer. Sad. Pray to God fervently for Him to reveal the hidden truth IF this is the case. He will make it plain, as you wait on Him. 💔🙏💝
Yes, this is so important. This is why I encourage people to wait at least a year before getting married when they meet someone. And please always wait before having children if you are dealing with someone who is abusive or manipulative. It's the saddest thing for them :(
I literally started laughing when you got to the part about how we deal with those types of people...."which have nothing to do with such people!" I said it in my head the same time and just had to laugh.
@NickGiles1979 LOL! The Bible is actually very clear about how to deal with these folx. I'm no Theologist, but it's pretty much spelled out in clear terms.
Hello Kim, I believe my wife is a narc or at the very least toxic. Bellow is a text thread between her and I. (Her text) I don't understand you... you say you love me yet I am not feeling that way at all. You lie to me, manipulate me, and I can't even depend on you to do something as simple as picking up your own kids so I can take another kid to the doctors, on top of my already busy day. All so you can have your mornings to yourself... and your nights... this is beyond ridiculous. I have tried to be patient and understanding but now I just feel like you don't want anything to do with me or the kids. We've been married a week and a half shy of 18 years, and you have slowly over the years just separated yourself from us... and I'm tired of it. Either be around, or let me know and I can make different arrangements for us. (My response) Of course I love you and the kids, and how am I lying to you and manipulating you? I know you're busy hence why I try to do as much as I can around the house so you don't have to. And I have not separated myself from you I am either at work or at home, I don't do anything or go anywhere the only time I take for myself is when I get home or late at night, l do virtually nothing for myself, aside from you getting back from your trip with Tracy I would make you dinner and lunch just about everyday. Every time I would go to the store I would think of you and buy something I thought you might like, every issue you have I would spend days and weeks researching it to help, on the weekends I do as much as I possibly can to make it easier for you, when I'm home you don't seek to spend time with me, you like to spend it alone upstairs or you spend hours in the restroom. I give my time and effort to you and the kids and only take a fraction of time for myself. So yeah I would say I love you. (And me again about 10min later) As far as today I was in the bathroom and wasn't sure what time I would be done and I also still had to make my lunch on top of that I wasn't sure when you would get to the hospital. So that was the only reason I said if I had time. If you would have just told me that you really needed me to do that I would have. (Me again about 5min after I sent the previous message) I do love you very much! (Me again after another 5min) I am sorry that I've caused you to feel the way you do, I love you! And I want you to know that. I want you and the kids and I want to be around you guys. (Me again about 6hrs later) Please say something to me. Tell me you still love me at least (Her response a few min later) I still love you (My response) Thank you And then the very next day she sends me this text. Hey baby. So Dominoes should be ready now, and Pizza Hut will be ready at 4:30. They are both already. Am I wrong or crazy thinking there is something wrong?
It sounds like she’s projecting, gaslighting and withholding in that exchange, all things a narcissist does . Is she verbally abusive ? That exchange is emotionally abusive, but it would have to be pervasive and continuous behaviour to really know she’s a narcissist. Good luck , I’d say try counselling but that leads you down the garden path if she is a narcissist. If things don’t feel right then they aren’t . If you feel confused and exhausted in tjr relationship then it’s not normal , healthy couples support and lift each other up, not confuse, withhold and tear others down . Maybe let her move the way she wants and thank your lucky stars she does . Good luck
@TaniaCully-rz5ty Thank you Tania, she doesn’t overtly verbally abuse me it’s more subtle and covert. She is a control freak, she has to have control of everything unless we get into a big argument and it brought up then she will change for a while (a week to a month). She was everything I could hope for before we got married but on our honeymoon she did a 180, she was very overt in the first 7 or so years of our marriage, it felt like hell in that time frame she then went into a mix of covert and overt over the next 12 years. 3 of my children are on anxiety meds and my 10 year old still has frequent accidents (pees his bed) at night. When ever we get into a heated argument she will usually respond with hints at divorce and sometimes she won’t tell me she is thinking about divorce but she will then ask the kids who they want to live with because we might be divorcing. I will be on the verge of leaving her but at the moment I’m about to take that step I’m filled with an overwhelming sense of anxiety, dread and fear so I go running back to her and apologize and I fawn all over her. I feel like I’m going crazy, I find myself doubting everything I believe.
Every narcissistic individual I ever met told me, "I don't care," Right then I walk away.
Excellent! A couple days ago, I made the decision that I was done with tares. Only wheat gets my attention.
Good for you, Kathleen! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
Great video.
Thanks! :)
Before you say, " I Do" , make sure you understand "what" narcissism all entails, as if you are tricked by one, your health, peace n joy is at stake, and if children involved later, they too will suffer. Sad. Pray to God fervently for Him to reveal the hidden truth IF this is the case. He will make it plain, as you wait on Him. 💔🙏💝
Yes, this is so important. This is why I encourage people to wait at least a year before getting married when they meet someone. And please always wait before having children if you are dealing with someone who is abusive or manipulative. It's the saddest thing for them :(
I literally started laughing when you got to the part about how we deal with those types of people...."which have nothing to do with such people!" I said it in my head the same time and just had to laugh.
@NickGiles1979 LOL! The Bible is actually very clear about how to deal with these folx. I'm no Theologist, but it's pretty much spelled out in clear terms.
Dont trust any1 but ur own self.
Hello Kim, I believe my wife is a narc or at the very least toxic. Bellow is a text thread between her and I.
(Her text)
I don't understand you... you say you love me yet I am not feeling that way at all. You lie to me, manipulate me, and I can't even depend on you to do something as simple as picking up your own kids so I can take another kid to the doctors, on top of my already busy day. All so you can have your mornings to yourself... and your nights... this is beyond ridiculous. I have tried to be patient and understanding but now I just feel like you don't want anything to do with me or the kids. We've been married a week and a half shy of 18 years, and you have slowly over the years just separated yourself from us... and I'm tired of it. Either be around, or let me know and I can make different arrangements for us.
(My response)
Of course I love you and the kids, and how am I lying to you and manipulating you? I know you're busy hence why I try to do as much as I can around the house so you don't have to. And I have not separated myself from you I am either at work or at home, I don't do anything or go anywhere the only time I take for myself is when I get home or late at night, l do virtually nothing for myself, aside from you getting back from your trip with Tracy I would make you dinner and lunch just about everyday. Every time I would go to the store I would think of you and buy something I thought you might like, every issue you have I would spend days and weeks researching it to help, on the weekends I do as much as I possibly can to make it easier for you, when I'm home you don't seek to spend time with me, you like to spend it alone upstairs or you spend hours in the restroom. I give my time and effort to you and the kids and only take a fraction of time for myself. So yeah I would say I love you.
(And me again about 10min later)
As far as today I was in the bathroom and wasn't sure what time I would be done and I also still had to make my lunch on top of that I wasn't sure when you would get to the hospital.
So that was the only reason I said if I had time. If you would have just told me that you really needed me to do that I would have.
(Me again about 5min after I sent the previous message)
I do love you very much!
(Me again after another 5min)
I am sorry that I've caused you to feel the way you do, I love you! And I want you to know that. I want you and the kids and I want to be around you guys.
(Me again about 6hrs later)
Please say something to me. Tell me you still love me at least
(Her response a few min later)
I still love you
(My response)
Thank you
And then the very next day she sends me this text.
Hey baby. So Dominoes should be ready now, and Pizza Hut will be ready at 4:30. They are both already.
Am I wrong or crazy thinking there is something wrong?
It sounds like she’s projecting, gaslighting and withholding in that exchange, all things a narcissist does . Is she verbally abusive ? That exchange is emotionally abusive, but it would have to be pervasive and continuous behaviour to really know she’s a narcissist. Good luck , I’d say try counselling but that leads you down the garden path if she is a narcissist.
If things don’t feel right then they aren’t . If you feel confused and exhausted in tjr relationship then it’s not normal , healthy couples support and lift each other up, not confuse, withhold and tear others down .
Maybe let her move the way she wants and thank your lucky stars she does . Good luck
@TaniaCully-rz5ty Thank you Tania, she doesn’t overtly verbally abuse me it’s more subtle and covert. She is a control freak, she has to have control of everything unless we get into a big argument and it brought up then she will change for a while (a week to a month). She was everything I could hope for before we got married but on our honeymoon she did a 180, she was very overt in the first 7 or so years of our marriage, it felt like hell in that time frame she then went into a mix of covert and overt over the next 12 years. 3 of my children are on anxiety meds and my 10 year old still has frequent accidents (pees his bed) at night. When ever we get into a heated argument she will usually respond with hints at divorce and sometimes she won’t tell me she is thinking about divorce but she will then ask the kids who they want to live with because we might be divorcing. I will be on the verge of leaving her but at the moment I’m about to take that step I’m filled with an overwhelming sense of anxiety, dread and fear so I go running back to her and apologize and I fawn all over her. I feel like I’m going crazy, I find myself doubting everything I believe.
Tares give true insight but dont truely follow it themselves. Yet its still good info n advice.
Thanks.
You're welcome! :)
They are nothing but wolf's 🐺 in sheep 🐑 clothing, and the Bible calls them jezebel spirits,as always thanks for the video 👍Kim.
@garycordle5295, you're most welcome! Nice bike, btw :)
@@RelationshipRefuge Thank you 🦋
Lots of these in churches just saying
Yes, indeed! Churches are hotbeds for narcissists.
Tares give true insight but dont truely follow it themselves. Yet its still good info n advice.