I asked my narc (now ex) if he felt guilty for cheating on me (with NS). His reply "why should I feel guilty for wanting to try something different". TRY SOMETHING DIFFERENT?? Like it's a new pair of shoes. After 25 years of marriage, I expected more respect. BUT now that I'm aware of narcissism, hit fits the mold perfectly. Bye! Best thing that could happen to me! Waaaay better life now.
My ex discarded me for another girl and offered me to be one of, cause "he has feelings (haha) for me and he also has feelings for her, he don't want to lose me". When i said "Definitely no. Do you even hear what you're offering me? I won't stay". He was SINCERELY surprised and seriously said: "But why? It would make me so happy, i would feel great"🤦🏻♀️🤣 And no one had to think about the fact that I would feel bad. Including me. In his sick opinion.
You're first mistake, was thinking the Narc has ANY respect or love for you. It hurts, but they don't. Don't bother driving yourself crazy with rumination. It is what it is.
My soon to be ex wife just came out with it and said I’m not happy i want a divorce I thought she was joking but noo she wasn’t so 2 days later I got my stuff and moved out she shows up to pick child up and goes on like nothing has happened we can still be really good friends !!!! Nooo you’ve broke my world you’ve broke the child’s world and she’s the only one happy about any of it I’m sure there’s someone else as I’ve found texts snapchats from a lad who works at her place and he has 2 young kids and a gf ( not wife) but she’s just chucked me away like a used tissue and says she’s the happiest she’s ever been
They downgrade because they know the new supply “downgrade” will treat them a lot better , like a god or goddess. They know you already know what they are and what they do. So that’s why the new supply will treat them a lot better.
With a narc, it's not about looks, status, or personality. It's about filling a void within for them. Anything at that time will do. If they were selective as most say they are, then the majority of the people you see them with would not have a chance in hell. They don't care about the person, just the energy they can provide to them.
It's insulting because they pick this person over us and so we think why would they choose a less smart, unattractive, older in my case ect when they can have me. But my ex has a history of downgrading in his past before me. In this case he's choosing someone with money and he thinks he's going to be happy because he will be financially secure. So we all know how that works out but he's always been superficial so he's getting what he deserves when I'll wait, heal and get with someone who is the whole package. I'm not settling so I can just have someone in my life. Rather be single.
Agreed. My ex’s replacement supply was the ex I replaced. For him to have remained or came back into the picture after the way my ex abandoned him for me was so telling. Even though he knowingly participated in my discard, I still pitied the b1 tch because I knew it was because he didn’t have a backbone.
I was triangulated with a supply that he used in my own home, she was not at all anything to look at. At the time I had no clue what was happening as I knew nothing about narcissism then. I was blown away by her rudeness towards me... in my house! I was pleasant to her and just took it all in my stride I am now aware that the narc was trying to get a reaction from me. The next day i saw him I told him i thought the whole interaction with that female was discusting... he defended her! The relationship ended soon thereafter Good riddance narc, so much better off without your diabolical shit!
Triangled me too. I left him beg to be back I say yes he gets with his coworker leaves me then comes back and leaves her now he's back with her. I'm beyond done now that I know he's a narcissist.
I used to sometimes meet the narc i knew in a bar. He seemed to know a lot of people in there, including the kind of people you'd really want nothing to do with. Over time it became clear that we were all being used. He had such desperation because of his emptiness. We were all like drugs to be consumed.
My x narc was inferior of me cuz I look really gud to others and I was removing other peoples attention from him onto myself. So now he downgraded to someone who isn't that attractive. Jus so that his imagine shines through.
I've heard many different views on narcissists and the co- dependent and never have I heard anyone advise the victim of a person that has NPD to do self-care like you have. Thank you endlessly❤
He gets whatever he wants from the new supply bc she literally hangs onto his legs when he tries to leave and then buys him whatever he wants so he will stay. She has humiliated him and that throws me off bc narcissists don’t like that, but then she offers to but him a car, etc. She has threatened to kill me. He has cheated and she knows it. There’s so much more, but he will be lucky to make it out alive, and I’m not defending him. They are perfect for each other. I can’t lie, I have wondered why he chose that over me, but I know that’s not the life I want to live.
My husband walked out and said I have to worry about me. Then two weeks later he started dating a manger at work, two more weeks of him telling me that there was no one and I seen them it sped up everything. Now they posting online, moving in together etc
He did you a favor, and believe me, he will be back once he gets bored with the new supply or realize she can't hold a candle to how great you are and were to him.
Let them collect and collect more supplies because someday they will be trapped by their own supplies no matter how clever they are. They will reap what they sow sooner or later. No evil deeds that has no bad consequences. As I observed, those who plow evil and those who sow trouble will reap it. ( Job4:8) And the breath of God they will perish, at the blast of his anger they were no more.(Job 4:9)
Ben, This was one of your BEST! It truly helped to give me clarity and understanding on a much greater level. It allowed me to view his new supply through a much different perspective and it actually made the 2 + 2 add up for the first time. And, I agree 100% that the change has to come from within ourselves. I’ve been on my healing journey for 2 years and know beyond a doubt that my much healthier healed self would not even be attracted to my covert narcissist sociopath (now Ex) In fact, I actually feel for the new supply (his current wife) as I know the hell that is in store for her. I have been doing the hard work of #Self Care and now know my worth, value, and true identity.!! You are spot on stating that as being the key!! Thank you for all you do Ben 🙏❤️
This video really spoke to me. I remember being triangulated and thinking the new supply was a douchebag when I was trying to be really nice. At the same time though, I'll never know what was being said about me as well as the lies I was told about them. Something tells me the new supply was easier to isolate, and potentially more dependent than me. Before I knew what narcissism was though, I thought they were abusive and that's why my narc was changing and being so hurtful to me.
This is amazing… you hit spot on with what I’m currently going through. We were together 3 years, the last several months he was living a double life. I found out about it “accidentally “ in November. He’s now engaged to the NS. His kids don’t even know she exists. It makes no sense. I’m learning a LOT! Thank you for this video!
My ex narc gf used to tease me about being older than her (6 years) saying that it’s ok but only just. Her new supply is 20 years older than she is, he’s an old age pensioner and it looks off seeing them together. Dont get it.
I met the new supply and she told me he’s already physically abusive to her. I don’t think she is even getting an idealization phase. I told him multiple times I didn’t want to get back together with him. When she asked who he loves he said both of us. Then I said he had to choose and he picked her and said she was better at sex and that she’s skinnier.
Will a covert narcissist still cheat on their partner when they have their relationship shown happily on social media even the profile pic being the couple being happy?
My narcissist said i wanted something different who will ruined my marriage and who can control me. Never held down a job and allways had $$$ problems. Gyess he was happy with this arrangement for 3 years.
Because there is no logical answer. Shaming others is emotional for narcs. Kinds like calling someone names and being upset with them just because they are having a bad day. It somehow makes them feel better ALL THE TIME.
Bc when children, they were shamed as a method of control. What they have learned are defense mechanisms in order to maneuver in the world. If an empath meets one and they genuinely love each other in their own way and they have an outside shot of healing. But both sides have to forgive and understand their transgressions. What most on the flip side dont see is their neediness and how emotionally manipulative they were.
Just how annoying is it when they can destroy people and families, with no deterants or consequences ,you are penalised and fined for breaking rules such as speeding ,they literally break people no justice whatsoever. Failures in the law make it easy to blame victims and survivors.
It’s not hard to meet a new supply if you have absolutely no standards. The only criteria is existing/being there and letting them into your life because they can’t be alone. It’s not a reflection on us of who they picked. We can’t comprehend it because we have standards and want a real relationship. Anything they have is superficial and empty, they can’t even define their own emotions. They have the emotional maturity of a 6 year old. Treat them accordingly.
It's not about wanting to continue to be in the relationship. I understand perfectly what you are saying. He was not like what they say they are. I don't believe he is full blown narcissist. I don't want him to be hurt by people using him. I know the people and they don't care. I guess they don't care either. I new there was something different about the relationship. I just don't want anything to happen. Because I don't believe he is all the way like what y'all say. If that makes sense.
Every video I watch is more enlightening than the last. Do you have one that explains why they keep coming around? No contact for a month, but he’s my daughter’s step dad. So we’ve had to interact a bit. Plus I left a note in the house explaining a few things I was doing as I am moving out. He is rarely there bc he moved in w his mistress. However, he keeps showing up at my place, doing a lot of things for me that he said he was going to do for years - but then goes above and beyond. I’m not initiating contact, but I do respond. I’m not interested in having him back. I’m. Now in the anger stage of the process. Also, I tried signing up for your program, but it said I wasn’t ready. I am, but there’s not a lot of money coming in right now. Maybe that’s why? I can understand that, I’m more concerned if it’s something else I’m not recognizing.
I have a question for ben himself he may choose to ignore this question but i would like to know what his reason for creating this whole raw motivations if narsacists dont have empathy or care about anyone but themselves what is your reasoning for creating this whole channel and program ? I get the whole helping people heal but are your intentions really to help people heal or to profit from your narsacism 🤔 i dont mean this to sound like an attack just genuinely curious
@@Itsmeandthatsok2 Yes as you mentioned, it is a spectrum. But NPD is a real disorder. It is finally a coping mechanism. A person with a real NPD will do its own "business" and due to its defense mechanism he/she will never admit it, otherwise they would have to face all the trauma, very unlikely. I am referring to a german psychologist and expert at personality disorders, Rainer Sachse. Greets
I'm 46 and in pretty good shape. My nex left me for a 65 year old retiree with nothing. She said there's no love there on her side, hes just easy. Sometimes their honesty is bewildering. She tried to get me back in a sexless marriage after 6 years of abuse. Hmm... no thanks. You're his problem now!
No standards no pride no shame
I asked my narc (now ex) if he felt guilty for cheating on me (with NS). His reply "why should I feel guilty for wanting to try something different". TRY SOMETHING DIFFERENT?? Like it's a new pair of shoes. After 25 years of marriage, I expected more respect. BUT now that I'm aware of narcissism, hit fits the mold perfectly. Bye! Best thing that could happen to me! Waaaay better life now.
This is exactly what my ex said after 17 years. Exact words! Just heard yesterday that he’s cheating on the girl he left me for. 😮
My ex discarded me for another girl and offered me to be one of, cause "he has feelings (haha) for me and he also has feelings for her, he don't want to lose me". When i said "Definitely no. Do you even hear what you're offering me? I won't stay". He was SINCERELY surprised and seriously said: "But why? It would make me so happy, i would feel great"🤦🏻♀️🤣 And no one had to think about the fact that I would feel bad. Including me. In his sick opinion.
Well they treated me like an option
I may be someone's option but I'm not their option. I'm done
You're first mistake, was thinking the Narc has ANY respect or love for you. It hurts, but they don't. Don't bother driving yourself crazy with rumination. It is what it is.
My soon to be ex wife just came out with it and said I’m not happy i want a divorce I thought she was joking but noo she wasn’t so 2 days later I got my stuff and moved out she shows up to pick child up and goes on like nothing has happened we can still be really good friends !!!! Nooo you’ve broke my world you’ve broke the child’s world and she’s the only one happy about any of it I’m sure there’s someone else as I’ve found texts snapchats from a lad who works at her place and he has 2 young kids and a gf ( not wife) but she’s just chucked me away like a used tissue and says she’s the happiest she’s ever been
Thank you. This clip spoke to me. I appreciate it. 🙂
They have also been known to 'downgrade' in a deliberate attempt to make the old supply feel insecure and hurt. 🍒
They downgrade because they know the new supply “downgrade” will treat them a lot better , like a god or goddess. They know you already know what they are and what they do. So that’s why the new supply will treat them a lot better.
📌
Wow … a lot makes sense now
With a narc, it's not about looks, status, or personality. It's about filling a void within for them. Anything at that time will do. If they were selective as most say they are, then the majority of the people you see them with would not have a chance in hell. They don't care about the person, just the energy they can provide to them.
This is literally so true, my ex would literally sleep with absolutely anyone no matter how they looked or even if they were older lol
@Shukuraa mine would say “young or old it dosent matter for me. Sex is sex”
So true. The new guy is referred to as “the downgrade” by all my friends. Poor guys is sicker than her.
It's insulting because they pick this person over us and so we think why would they choose a less smart, unattractive, older in my case ect when they can have me. But my ex has a history of downgrading in his past before me. In this case he's choosing someone with money and he thinks he's going to be happy because he will be financially secure. So we all know how that works out but he's always been superficial so he's getting what he deserves when I'll wait, heal and get with someone who is the whole package. I'm not settling so I can just have someone in my life. Rather be single.
Paradoxically they chose people they can control them disrespect the hell out of them for allowing the control 😵💫
Agreed. My ex’s replacement supply was the ex I replaced. For him to have remained or came back into the picture after the way my ex abandoned him for me was so telling. Even though he knowingly participated in my discard, I still pitied the b1 tch because I knew it was because he didn’t have a backbone.
Your perspectives to their new supply are TRUE. However, what funny is, their new supply looks like a deranged person.🤣🤣
I was triangulated with a supply that he used in my own home, she was not at all anything to look at.
At the time I had no clue what was happening as I knew nothing about narcissism then.
I was blown away by her rudeness towards me... in my house!
I was pleasant to her and just took it all in my stride
I am now aware that the narc was trying to get a reaction from me.
The next day i saw him I told him i thought the whole interaction with that female was discusting... he defended her!
The relationship ended soon thereafter
Good riddance narc, so much better off without your diabolical shit!
I am dealing with this now.
Triangled me too. I left him beg to be back I say yes he gets with his coworker leaves me then comes back and leaves her now he's back with her. I'm beyond done now that I know he's a narcissist.
I used to sometimes meet the narc i knew in a bar. He seemed to know a lot of people in there, including the kind of people you'd really want nothing to do with. Over time it became clear that we were all being used. He had such desperation because of his emptiness. We were all like drugs to be consumed.
THIS VIDEO TITLE WAS TOO GOOD TO PASS BY.. THANK YOU!
You were spot on with this one! NEEDED THIS! Thank you!!
My x narc was inferior of me cuz I look really gud to others and I was removing other peoples attention from him onto myself. So now he downgraded to someone who isn't that attractive. Jus so that his imagine shines through.
Same here
I've heard many different views on narcissists and the co- dependent and never have I heard anyone advise the victim of a person that has NPD to do self-care like you have. Thank you endlessly❤
He gets whatever he wants from the new supply bc she literally hangs onto his legs when he tries to leave and then buys him whatever he wants so he will stay. She has humiliated him and that throws me off bc narcissists don’t like that, but then she offers to but him a car, etc. She has threatened to kill me. He has cheated and she knows it. There’s so much more, but he will be lucky to make it out alive, and I’m not defending him. They are perfect for each other. I can’t lie, I have wondered why he chose that over me, but I know that’s not the life I want to live.
If new supply is who i think it is she gonna chew him up and spit him out
My husband walked out and said I have to worry about me. Then two weeks later he started dating a manger at work, two more weeks of him telling me that there was no one and I seen them it sped up everything. Now they posting online, moving in together etc
He did you a favor, and believe me, he will be back once he gets bored with the new supply or realize she can't hold a candle to how great you are and were to him.
It won't last. I promise. It's the new thing until things settle and the mask is unraveled
@@chrisgaddy8672 So true. They always try to come back.
Let them collect and collect more supplies because someday they will be trapped by their own supplies no matter how clever they are. They will reap what they sow sooner or later. No evil deeds that has no bad consequences.
As I observed, those who plow evil and those who sow trouble will reap it. ( Job4:8)
And the breath of God they will perish, at the blast of his anger they were no more.(Job 4:9)
Thank you Ben
Stay healthy and safe inside your body 😉🤙🏼
Ben, This was one of your BEST! It truly helped to give me clarity and understanding on a much greater level. It allowed me to view his new supply through a much different perspective and it actually made the 2 + 2 add up for the first time.
And, I agree 100% that the change has to come from within ourselves. I’ve been on my healing journey for 2 years and know beyond a doubt that my much healthier healed self would not even be attracted to my covert narcissist sociopath (now Ex)
In fact, I actually feel for the new supply (his current wife) as I know the hell that is in store for her.
I have been doing the hard work of #Self Care and now know my worth, value, and true identity.!!
You are spot on stating that as being the key!!
Thank you for all you do Ben 🙏❤️
You have very keen incite---Awesome!!!
Appreciate your support!
This video really spoke to me. I remember being triangulated and thinking the new supply was a douchebag when I was trying to be really nice. At the same time though, I'll never know what was being said about me as well as the lies I was told about them. Something tells me the new supply was easier to isolate, and potentially more dependent than me. Before I knew what narcissism was though, I thought they were abusive and that's why my narc was changing and being so hurtful to me.
This is amazing… you hit spot on with what I’m currently going through. We were together 3 years, the last several months he was living a double life. I found out about it “accidentally “ in November. He’s now engaged to the NS. His kids don’t even know she exists. It makes no sense. I’m learning a LOT! Thank you for this video!
Tysm Just what it is
I divorced my narc husband years ago. I tried to overlook the first affair but put a bullet through the marriage the second time it happened.
Worst mistake ever in my life
Me too!!!😭
My ex narc gf used to tease me about being older than her (6 years) saying that it’s ok but only just. Her new supply is 20 years older than she is, he’s an old age pensioner and it looks off seeing them together. Dont get it.
Very informative video,God work 👍
Honestly, people getting offended by the 'use' of the word supply.
Nope, people like the honest truth 💯
I met the new supply and she told me he’s already physically abusive to her. I don’t think she is even getting an idealization phase. I told him multiple times I didn’t want to get back together with him. When she asked who he loves he said both of us. Then I said he had to choose and he picked her and said she was better at sex and that she’s skinnier.
Same she gives it to him raw and I have morals and values. It's gross tbh
People who is not considered like that cheats but I do understand.
Sex with him was like sex with a stranger. No kiss no hugs no affection. Just roll over .pump pump done... im glad to be out. Ill heal he never will.
Will a covert narcissist still cheat on their partner when they have their relationship shown happily on social media even the profile pic being the couple being happy?
Yes lol😮💨
In one word … ‘ Absolutely ‘
My narcissist said i wanted something different who will ruined my marriage and who can control me. Never held down a job and allways had $$$ problems. Gyess he was happy with this arrangement for 3 years.
I wish I saw this video a year ago , but, I was meant to see it today. I matter.
How does being cruel help narcs to avoid shame? Why does nobody give a logical answer?
Because there is no logical answer. Shaming others is emotional for narcs. Kinds like calling someone names and being upset with them just because they are having a bad day. It somehow makes them feel better ALL THE TIME.
@@stacygyuricza2187 So you think narcs are incapable of logic?
Bc when children, they were shamed as a method of control. What they have learned are defense mechanisms in order to maneuver in the world.
If an empath meets one and they genuinely love each other in their own way and they have an outside shot of healing.
But both sides have to forgive and understand their transgressions. What most on the flip side dont see is their neediness and how emotionally manipulative they were.
@StuUngar I was shamed as a child, too. Yet I never turned into a narc.
@@fenlandwildlifeclips I didn’t say that at all.
Just how annoying is it when they can destroy people and families, with no deterants or consequences ,you are penalised and fined for breaking rules such as speeding ,they literally break people no justice whatsoever. Failures in the law make it easy to blame victims and survivors.
It’s not hard to meet a new supply if you have absolutely no standards. The only criteria is existing/being there and letting them into your life because they can’t be alone. It’s not a reflection on us of who they picked. We can’t comprehend it because we have standards and want a real relationship. Anything they have is superficial and empty, they can’t even define their own emotions. They have the emotional maturity of a 6 year old. Treat them accordingly.
It's not about wanting to continue to be in the relationship. I understand perfectly what you are saying. He was not like what they say they are. I don't believe he is full blown narcissist. I don't want him to be hurt by people using him. I know the people and they don't care. I guess they don't care either. I new there was something different about the relationship. I just don't want anything to happen. Because I don't believe he is all the way like what y'all say.
If that makes sense.
I'm a little bit curious with the the important thing is who cares you know 🤣
Every video I watch is more enlightening than the last. Do you have one that explains why they keep coming around? No contact for a month, but he’s my daughter’s step dad. So we’ve had to interact a bit. Plus I left a note in the house explaining a few things I was doing as I am moving out. He is rarely there bc he moved in w his mistress. However, he keeps showing up at my place, doing a lot of things for me that he said he was going to do for years - but then goes above and beyond. I’m not initiating contact, but I do respond. I’m not interested in having him back. I’m. Now in the anger stage of the process. Also, I tried signing up for your program, but it said I wasn’t ready. I am, but there’s not a lot of money coming in right now. Maybe that’s why? I can understand that, I’m more concerned if it’s something else I’m not recognizing.
How fod you heal? How were you able to admit to you disorder?
I think I'm a narcissist. What would be the first step?
check this out www.rawmotivations.com/break-through-session
I have a question for ben himself he may choose to ignore this question but i would like to know what his reason for creating this whole raw motivations if narsacists dont have empathy or care about anyone but themselves what is your reasoning for creating this whole channel and program ? I get the whole helping people heal but are your intentions really to help people heal or to profit from your narsacism 🤔 i dont mean this to sound like an attack just genuinely curious
Helping others heal so that they don’t have to go through this
The ex narc is with a transgender..I’m still shocked! And he’s not even good looking trans either ..
Can a person with real narcissistic personality disorder be self-aware of his/her disease? I mainly doubt it.
I have read that depending on where their at on the Spectrum of narcissism, there are some, that are well aware of being narcissistic
@@Itsmeandthatsok2 Yes as you mentioned, it is a spectrum. But NPD is a real disorder. It is finally a coping mechanism. A person with a real NPD will do its own "business" and due to its defense mechanism he/she will never admit it, otherwise they would have to face all the trauma, very unlikely. I am referring to a german psychologist and expert at personality disorders, Rainer Sachse. Greets
There is nothing inside of narcissism's definition either that says they are unable to be aware. A lot of them already do know.
i like to kno she has a fboy but she called me an emailed me she is blocked but just want to kno why an shes hiding him
I'm 46 and in pretty good shape. My nex left me for a 65 year old retiree with nothing. She said there's no love there on her side, hes just easy. Sometimes their honesty is bewildering. She tried to get me back in a sexless marriage after 6 years of abuse. Hmm... no thanks. You're his problem now!
I dont care! Im greatful for her😂