Understanding Why a Narcissist will Downgrade with the Next Supply
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- Опубліковано 15 жов 2024
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#narcissism #narcissist #npd
Usually they don't leave you for someone "better" than you are. They find someone worse than they are so they can feel better about themselves.Keep your standards high.
They also need someone who doesn't see through their BS and lies. When you put up with years with them and go through enough you understand why they need new supply. The old supply is finally onto their tricks, they can't be manipulated and they don't fall for their self pity. Don't waste any kindness or compassion on them. Save that for yourself .
Sewer rat finds another sewer rat like themselves
@@sanjmalik6282 yep there's a lid for every garbage can.
i was damb aware direct and he told me u are to strong for me lol
@@sisid6295 good he recognized your strength maybe he'll leave you alone.
No one falls in love faster than a narcissist that needs a place to live.
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I stg 10 years until i woke up. Just 2 weeks gone and 2 days no contact...pray for me and i will you
Not always mate mines hot her own house
Or someone with a job to pay his bills
Or someone to watch/raise his kids
Or lend him their car
Or get him bail money
Or....all of the above.
So true!!
They leave you for whoever is easier - looks don’t matter. They aren’t picky. If they can fool you, you’re in!
FACT
Sounds familiar... That's exactly how the devil move💯💯 he roams the earth seeking whomever he can devour as well🤔.. like father, like son..
Yes you are correct. When i bowed out he went back to ex before me and married her. Told me she could not keep a job, so what he talking about not true.
Truths!!! They need a mommy or daddy.
Yep I'm single mom my narc isn't my child's dad however I was insecure and Didn't have boundaries. However, I do now.
My dark ex Cheated on me with a teacher and I'm now working at a warehouse. And I'm going back to school for cardiac geography. He married this teacher who was no offense. Not attractive VS what my legal aid and lawyer told me may not be professional. But that's just what they stated. Because I had to show them evidence of what he was posting online screenshots of whom harassing me before I blocked him and got the restraint water. And he changed his profile picture to the woman he cheated on me with. Last year, October of 2022. Fast forward this year. He's now married to her because she's easy just like he expected me to be easy. Because I'm a single mom. So I must Settle for less in his eyes. And I remember telling my nark. X that I should be leveling up and that I just can't do this relationship anymore. And I want it to leave.i think he copied my plan lol but now I'm OK being alone and working on myself which is also leveling up in life and being healthy with ur body and mindI'm assuming that's why he got married fast to beat me to it as if we're competing in this crazy world we call life
The funniest thing that ever came out of my ex narcissist mouth was how he hates hypocrites yet he was the biggest hypocrite I've met
Haha, so meta
It saying she doesn’t like to share while hiding the new supply
That goes full circle. They hate themselves
It’s called mirroring- they do that
Sounds like them
I think being a narc must be exhausting & very depressing.
Correcr
Yes, narcissists are miserable people who think only of themselves!😢
Or they get a thrill from it.
My dad is one and he is always exhausted and never happy when we come around and he’s a very depressed man
@@applecreeksolarllc5064 It must be hard work lying all the time, etc.
Ha ha. I was laughing when I saw his new supply. It didn't offend me at all. I just thought "Good, trash with trash."
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❤❤❤😂
Literally.
Mine was lucky enough to find someone JUST LIKE HIM! 🤭🤭🤭
Let them downgrade, they only end up hurting themselves anyway. They can downgrade while we upgrade!! 😅
Yes 😂
They leave you for whomever they have manipulated and who can offer the type of supply they are looking for. Someone who has money or a home or transportation or feeds their ego, etc...
Exactly
I agreed 👍🏼
Feeds their ego for sure. I don't like the suggestion of down grade, that in itself comes from a place of ego. Ultimately each supply is a victim of the narc who will do the same wrongs to their new supply. My narc spent less time with me, than his previous relationships, not because I was less valuable but because the same lack of self worth that left me vulnerable to someone like him, also blessed me with less ego so I more quickly recognised the cheating as I knew it didn't have to be a 'upgrade' just had to be a person/people who fed their fragile ego. Life with him was draining as everything was ultimately about him. When I needed what he ultimately couldn't give he already had another (several actually) source of supply and an option of somewhere else to live and a new adoring supply. He had form way before me and just continued his pattern. Their are always others in a narcissist life. He tried to keep me on hold but I've healed enough to firmly shut that door. He was/is a very painful life lesson. Thankfully I'm not as vulnerable as I was when I met him. I know if I met him now for the first time I wouldn't get into a relationship with him as my self worth is higher... I hope ❤
The new supply is all three. I don’t feel bad for her. She saw how he was in my relationship and she thinks SHE is the one that can fix him. She thinks she is winning. She is doing the smear campaigning against me because of the narcissist who molded her. Both are losers. I will never be triangulated. My future man who loves and respects me would not put me in a triangulation. Ladies please know your self worth. Be single is much better than being in a toxic relationship. Be stronger each and every day. Take it a day at a time.
Thanks for Sharing this. I'm in this mess right now
Brilliant advice, more power to you. Keep the focus on you and your compassion and empathy will cease to be liabilities ❤
One day she will remember you. When the love-bombing has stopped
Dealing with this right now...haven't heard of what is being said on me but i know he is using her as flying monkey...he always said that he needs a "all in one" girlfriend and i always refused to be like this. He triangulated me with her...she is now the new supply....i would have been sad for her if she did not join hands with him to humiliate me. She supported him a lot during the "discard" phase. Sorry for her but i wont give her any clue about his real face.
I am in the same situation right now. She’s so immature for posting me on her fb as well by saying this and that and yet she’s with my nex. She think she won a gold price LOL good luck. I’ll let her learn the hard way how he gonna treat her. She was saying she understood him and just go with the flow… clearly far from what she said cuz she kept telling how I stupid I am on her social media.
Spot on! I dumped my ex and he got together with a girl 20 years younger. She was 22 years old he 42, he told me about her I wished him well. He said she was a younger version of me, I told him she wasn’t me as I have life experience and she’s a kid. I never pain shopped because I was so over his nonsense I didn’t care. The less I cared the more he tried to rope me back in with ZERO success.
I told him I was too old for him- and that, for him, was the last straw. I meant-- I was too old to fall for his nonsense. Too old to believe his lies. Too old to think his party-boy stories from 30 years ago were amusing. Too old to fawn all over him. Too old to want a grown man with the emotional level of a 20 year old. He knew it, so he dumped me, and yet played victim to say it was my fault lol
@@MIMIDSH in the end the only thing that matters is that he is out of your life. Those people are damaged, my ex keeps proving it to this day, 14 years later. He married the girl I was glad he met and has a child with her. I’ve been no contact the entire time and still he persists in hoovering with zero luck. Be glad you are rid of him.
What a loser lol😂
Sorry, but he upgraded. Stop talking down on a 22 year old.
My narcs new supply is young enough to be my daughter. She is homeless and just got custody back of her 4 year old daughter after losing her for 2 years.
Meanwhile I am established and offered him a place to stay. He declined.
The young new supply is young fresh meat who is completely obsessed with him and she needs his location at all times.
Its not about upgrading , it's about finding people that are obsessed. This is thier drug.
I wouldn't Budge on being controlled by him. I was no longer able to mold. I'm excessively headstrong. I wouldn't allow him to blame me for his choices that he tried to project onto me.
I was the same. It caused the abuse to get much worse tho. I realise now that this is why he was so fierce and violent towards me, because I vehemently refused to be controlled or to rely on him in any way.
@@lucyj7506 same
Same. Too hard to be controlled.
@@javireyes7333 my ex said “it should have been easier” 😂😂😂 um…. No …. The next supply has this belief that she’s taken him from me …. They don’t realize I only acted sad so the narc would leave😂😂😂😂 he would only go if it hurt me … nuts (boo hoo bye bich )
Same
I would think a Narcissist does not care what their Supply look like as long as they get their needs met. Obviously, for the sake of vanity they're not going to have someone they deem ugly. I used to feel in competition and compare myself to others but I keep telling me that there's only one Cherry and no-one else can be like her. It's hard seeing your Ex with someone else because you remember how it felt to be close to them, but then you remember also how you felt when they were cruel to you. When you decide to leave and are able to break the Trauma-Bond all those memories will become less painful as time goes by. 🍒
My ex even stated point blank it doesn't matter to me what someone looks like 👍🤔🤣😂 and I've seen pictures of his ex, that was the only T R U T H that ever came out of his mouth 😀
Yes, we want our needs met, but realise that if we settle with someone we don't truly value we'll remain unhappy.
I've told my next supply what I am, and my motives. Unfortunately she's broken and doesn't care.
I think what's best is that I find more compatible supply as soon as possible so that I don't break her heart.
Whoever I end up with, I intend to tell them about my narcissism. Hopefully they'll accept me.
Thanks for the advice! It's been 5 months and I'm trying to remind myself of this.
The narc ex I dealt with even sleeps with the same sex for supply but living hid life as a straight man whilst trying his best to keep his gay lifestyle a secret
@@over-comer an adult will fix them selves before dating.
Yes, I truly feel that he will get with anyone that gives him a chance...
Amen!!!!
My ex- narc cheated with women that was a serious down grade I was shocked especially after they criticized me.
This all rings true. My ex cheated during the entire relationship - ending up finding her second cell and my eyes were opened. While it hurts immensely I finally realize A) the many lives they had B) they never really loved you and C) that supply to them is their oxygen.
I’ve now gone no contact and what I’m most grateful for is that I’m finally free. It’s tempting to compare the new supply but know your self worth. Rather than using that bandwidth/opportunity cost on them, use that same energy, time and effort on rediscovering yourself.
My x did the same thing!!
I never understood why he cheated all the time but kept coming back .....until l learnt about NPD.
I get it Karla it’s such a tough pill to swallow knowing they had such hidden lives. I hope though you continue to heal and go no contact with them.
The x just found a mini me. I can't say she's a downgrade exactly. I just see a sweet soul that is probably open and trusting enough to be used. Sending peace to all those who don't know what they have gotten into.
@@1love847 would you feel the same way if you found out that she knew about you the whole time
My husband of 49 years destroyed another human being. Me. I’m 70 now and never understood him. I reinvented myself so many times to be who and what he wanted me to be so he would love me. I started watching UA-cam about narcissists about a year ago and I finally realized what my husband truly was. A full blown narcissist. I wasted all most my whole life because he kept telling me things would get better but they never did. Living with him has been like putting together a 5000 piece jigsaw puzzle and all the pieces were gray. I now realize I threw away my whole life for someone who wasn’t even capable of loving me in the first place. My whole life just thrown away like garbage.
44 years of marriage misery, believing it was MY fault. Caught him red handed WHILE he was promising to change and asking for forgiveness.😢
42 years. Divorce final 1 month. He downgraded big time. She believes his lies. I never believed him. She is easier. I held him accountable. Only God can reward our genuine loving efforts in our marriages. We have to focus on our future. It’s challenging. 🤗🙏
27 years. I'm 62. But, I'm feeling free! I can enjoy my hobbies without criticism.
27 years here. He made sure I would be stomped on. He foreclosed my home, left me with a teenager to raise, and no where to live, then moved on to a person with money. Looks like he is living the life, while I struggle. I’m 66 and barely surviving, but I have my relationship with God, my morals, my character, and in the end I can hold my head up when I stand before God. 💪 And I have a ‘super natural helper’.
Oh Madame! I am so sorry! 😮😢. I also understand that you were born in a time when divorce was highly looked down on for ANY reason. That too probably kept you in that bad situation. I am truly sorry 😞 I sincerely pray that God somehow allows you to have a second chance and extends your years so that you can enjoy some blessings on this earth for a good long time. ❤😔😢 😟❤
You're too good. You're Not naive to buy into the narcissist's lies and you are intellectual enough to see behind their mask. You become their enemy because, they can No longer play their games of deception, in misleading you.
Thanks. I would keep telling him I am not the enemy. But I see now that he was projecting this role onto me whether I liked it or not. I also saw that he tried to do some personal inventory but it would trigger him after a point. Such a hopeless condition
You must understand: they need SUPPLY FOR UTTER SURVIVAL!
Think if your car was almost out of gas and you needed more as soon as possible. Would you pass several gas stations looking for one that has “premium”. No, you will use what is readily available
My logic begind this is they were unable to keep me controlled & manipulated, get someone who easier to control & manipulate. True demons
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My ex narcissist was 32. I am 41 and was discarded for a 53 year old. SMH. That didn’t work out either. The new supply contacted me and told me the ex N talked all about me and that things didn’t work out with them either and they realized the narcissist was not at all a good person
Is she a downgrade because she is older? WTF?
@@danielaspitz3052 Did I say that? No. So kindly don’t put words in my mouth. Your comment is the real WTF moment. Oh. And FYI it’s a he not a she. Maybe in the future don’t just assume. Thanks. Buh bye.
wow a good one lol 😀
@somebody Mentioning the age makes it look like a downgrade.
@@danielaspitz3052 no I don’t think so Daniela. I think you’re rather presumptuous. In my experience most 32 year olds don’t wind up dating people in their 50s. This individual was the only one I’ve ever known or ever heard of who did such a thing. All i did was state the facts and they show a lack of a consistent pattern and that this person has no set “type” that they go for.
My ex always had supply but I left when he was grooming an old ex, definitely a downgrade but all he would get atm, the disgusting part is he is only using her to get to her friend who he really wants. I feel bad for this transitional girl but truly anyone that interacts with a narc is a victim.
So you're the amazing 2nd?
My ex left me because I consistently held my boundaries and expected him to keep his promises. Which he called manipulative... From the guy who told me to stop performing, to dress differently, who cheated on me and even used my car to do it, who gave me an STI and lied about that too. He moved on with two days. The poor girl. He was giving her gifts **I bought him** for his "anxiety".
He even tried to tell me "it's our relationship that's toxic not you Lolly" and I stuck to my guns and said "no,it's you and your lies that are poisoning this. Not us. Just you and your actions".
I just left my narcissist after 3.5 years. His ex wife before me, think Pamela Anderson, cut to me….. think Audrey Hepburn. She was completely fake in every single aspect, and I was extremely real in every way. He didn’t bargain that my own emotional and mental health understand did him a disservice and I completely figured it out and I just left. But the most interesting part for me and maybe this will help others, my narcissist had a very long “love bombing phase” he was “good” for 2 years. But that being said, week 1 I had some gut feelings, month 2 gut feeling! Don’t igonore those gut feeling!!!!!
When I discovered what my ex-fiancé truly was, I broke off the engagement and when he saw that I was not going to take him back, he dropped the mask and he replied "Next time I won't wait so long to marry them". My world was falling apart and his only concern was how he would change his M.O with his next one. A year and a half later I heard of how he had gotten married and had a child with someone who for various reasons did seem like a down grade and I was not the least bit surprised because of what he blatantly admitted. I feel sorry for the "next one" but feel relieved that it was her and not me.
When even his friends can’t figure why he is with the new person because they say you are so much better and can’t figure out what he is thinking then yes it is a down grade.
I wouldn't be thinking that, I'd be thinking ' good luck mate'
So true 👏🏼 my Nex left with "you are always making me feel like a s*it when you still try to hold me responsible for things I do."
Poor naive easy-to-be- manipulated new girl...
I’d like to think after you, the next one is where they finally get their karma from…. They would meet their match. Another narcissist. And, Everything they did to you, the next supply will do….
That happened to my ex. He cheated on a dying wife with a narc. He left her and then the narc he ended losing everything for left him! Karma is a bitch.
My ex narc cheated on me for a year behind my back with some much younger woman in prison a lifetime criminal and drug addict still 4 yrs to go. He actually tried to compare her to me a person that has no criminal record and had a very successful career.. It was unbelievable. He thinks she is going to get out and be successful, completely delusional. A total codependent that he can totally manipulate and he is cheating on her with other women. It just never stops.
Wow. Absolute proof that he's living in a fantasy world he created in his delusional mind...😯
This is exactly exactly my situation. I am consistent in highlighting his bad behaviour that is sabotaging our relationship. So he no longer wants me. He said “It should be easy. It shouldn't be so hard”.
oh yes my sabotage allllllll the time even best times he call good hour latter soooo bad etc
crazy stuff
so he ruined he make haos confiusion and than damb me and playing the victim how womans are horrible and that he stay alone forever after me but falowing his actions all tipical what they do i m almost sure he have new one that s why cut me off with so hurry
many times he canceled our plans out of the blue saying he must sleep after work so late so tired than ..staying on line for next 7 h from time to time also during his work online verry much but ignoring me .. f lieres 😣
Translation: it shouldn’t be this hard to manipulate you. It should be easy.
@@dee9146 lol....I didn't think of that. Thank you. 😂
@@JessMariaDwyer I was in a 5 year relationship with one so I kinda learnt some of their tricks, they still surprise me at times though 💀
In other words, it’s a compliment to be discarded. You were too difficult to break. Doesn’t hurt any less, unfortunately.
That makes a lot of sense.
That’s exactly what they are looking for easy, naive, and people who does what they say without asking questions. He left me, because I stopped giving him money.
We're neighbors and my ex downgraded to another female neighbor that has mental health and meth issues. He started out as "helping" her because he felt sorry for her. Then over time they became "friends". Then from "friends", they became "lovers", from him pursuing her although he manipulated me to believe otherwise until I saw their texts. He lied to me and this was the final nail in his ⚰️ coffin with me. That solidified the fact that I was wasting any more of my time on him.
😂they always go to an addict in some form, low value ppl, no selfesteem, bad youth
It's because someone like you or "above you" will not tolerate their nonsense or it would take much effort to manipulate them and they need a quick fix ,so whomever is "weak" will be the best source for now
Exactly. I hold people accountable and when they lie to me or gaslight me I call them out on it. They don’t like that.
This was one of the weirdest discoveries for me. My n-ex's other woman turned out to be the kind of person he'd always claimed to dislike and looked down upon. She was the complete opposite of me. I suppose that was part of his secrecy, that no-one would ever suspect that he was involved with her. Even weirder was that later on I discovered that she was pretending to be 'me'! She posted on social media that she had done unusual things in her life that I have done in mine, and even posted a photo of the two of them together where she was wearing almost identical clothes, hairstyle and jewellery to some I wore in a photo in our photo album from 1990! An example of what you've said about him wanting to hurt me and manipulate her at the same time was that she also posted that he had bought her a jewellery making experience day for her birthday, and I am a jeweller. He never posted anything on social media. It was like she was his spokesperson. It was all so weird. It was hard to know whether she was behaving like that to please him, or if he was manipulating her into behaving like that because he is too lazy to relate to someone different and was trying to mold her into being like me. I didn't check out their social media, but these posts and photos were shared with me by friends who thought they were letting me know useful info for my divorce and didn't see the significance. I am well over the relationship now, but it was all a deep shock at the time.
#VERTIGO MOVIE🎥
Creepy
Why do they badmouth the new supply when they're cheating with her? They're sick.
Triangulation, and also because they’re never happy.
I dated a narc that had a friend he told me had a crush on him but he’s not attracted to. When we ended things he went into a relationship with her the next day. He was bragging about her on Facebook and they moved in together quickly. Bizarre
@@artbygilik Yes, very bizarre! No shame. I guess they can never be alone. The void within would be too much to bare.
Accountability that’s impossible for a narcissist to process. 😣 (Unless, of course, like you, Ben, they are self-aware and in continued therapy to accept their actions and strive to change 😊). This video is perfectly on point! ❤
This is so spot on and what I desperately needed. That was a question that used to drive me nuts. His next prey, victim, or target as I called them, just never made any sense. He was always you have to be this size, wear these type of clothes, wear this type of jewelry, like this type of music, have this hair color/cut, etc. and yet he would start hitting on middle aged, overweight, frumpy, women married or single. Women with very low follower accts on Twitter and they were just overjoyed that this man with 20k followers was wanting them, and flirting outrageously with them. I used to think maybe it was because he has low self-esteem and figures that is all he can get? But when you said how downgrading makes it easier for him, that is so true. He would get mad at me and say, "You know me well, too well." These newbies didn't know what was coming.
I feel sorry for the next supply.
The worst feeling ever. Just ever
My ex narc downgrade for someone my age that doesn’t have any formal education, doesn’t work, is married and dumped him 30 years ago for the husband she is cheating on with my ex. She doesn’t have any values, asked her daughter to cover for them. It’s sad. At the beginning I feel without any worth as if he chose her, where was I? Our oldest son said to him: pls don’t break up with her bc if you change your family, your wife, your future for her it means she is worth it but if now you break up with her, what are we??? Garbage? Sad they are addicts to supply, no matter the kind.
Yes Sam Vaknin said they are addicted to supply
i was discarded for what you said, i called them out repeatedly and they got tired of it. I went NO CONTACT best thing i did they tried to hoover
My ex's new supply was the best thing that happened to me. Her coming suddenly into his life saved me from a life of misery. He was hellbent in stringing me along indefinitely as a VIP member of his harem of casual supplies. He was also going to get me pregnant and then dump me whenever he found a supply that suits him and his business. I sometimes feel I owe his new girlfriend/ partner a thank you card. A debt of gratitude. I hope they are forever happy and that he doesn’t hoover me ever again. But I wouldn't bet on it. He will get fed up of her and demote her to ex with benefits, of which he has several.
This is exactly how I feel. Some days she's just a name in a list of names, but on a good day she saved me from making a really big mistake. Divine intervention, divine timing.
I think he thought I was low hanging fruit. He didn’t realize I have self worth beyond his vision. The look on his face when I didn’t chase was priceless… I could feel him back peddling when I was took him to the door out. I miss the relationship - that wasn’t real.
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So thankful I found you! I have been driving myself crazy, I’m the kind of person who needs answers. I knew what he was, or was pretty sure, but my whole world just shattered for exactly this reason!! At least 8 other women outside our committed relationship of 12 years (with kids). It was like a whole schedule, he would call each one of us (one right after another) every day multiple times a day on his breaks. I see it all so clearly now, hindsight is 20/20. 😢
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Downgrading..I can see it. My ex narc left me for the 5th man she cheated with. She's described him as a "better man"..a better man with 17 felony convictions, from domestic violence to meth possession and intent to sell! It's gets better..he's 7yrs younger than her Dad and is a spitting image of her Dad! Wtf?!
He died
Now😁. He got a charge because he came to her house to help why tho downgrade to make her jealous
😫 🤒 sickos
I'm finally leaving my narcissist after 23 years he definitely downgraded with his new supply and hides the relationship and then I said but everybody knows the truth brushy strokes his ego and feeds his fragile self image good for her she took out my trash better for me free at last
Take it from me. The best revenge is to live well. Put them in your rearview & keep them there.
Well said
My ex narcissist met his new supply, two days after he discarded me, they were together after 2 weeks and got engaged in 1 month, they are getting married this February 10th when they met at the end of October of last year. I heard she is not studying neither working and some people says she is nuts…my ex narc said we can got married in 2 or maybe 3 years haha, I like your videos and I know this will help a lot :)
Im so sorry that happened to you
Knowing how the narcissist operates I feel certain they were in functional and very secretive relationship long before he ever left. They both had it planned.
@@shannhanson489 I felt that was the case in my situation. My ex’s daughter confirmed that he told her it had been going on for months. I later found out that he had been reaching out to both his kids’ moms begging for sex. They both cheated on him, left him, and had kids with other men. He downgraded in the sense that she’s never worked, doesn’t drive, lives with her 2 kids in a room at her parents. He’s having to work to support them. Oh well. at least I’m free of him. The truth shall set you free.
I'm sure he's found his new supply (I don't know her, I'm no contact), but all I feel for her is pity and compassion. Poor woman, she has no idea...yet.
I'm moved on quickly from my ex but it was actually an upgrade... my husband (we married quickly too) actually wants to take care of me, loves me and is loving toward me, and is honest with me.
Watch out with quick rebounds. Honeymoons are dangerous for a healthy choice. Narcs also marry quick to keep u locked, sounds like u fell for another one
The 10 years I always felt like the "transitional" it was very obvious that I was more into him. I thought he was just more reserved than leaving me for someone else.
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Everyone was and will be a downgrade. According to him, his endless history of "girlfriends" were all troubled, addicted, very unattractive, financially indigent. I understand- these types are needy, grateful to have any man, and easily manipulated. He dumped me because I was above him. I don't like to say things like that but it's true. He had a collection of "friends" he "dated"-- insisting it was all platonic, but who knows? I think he kept them orbiting to feed his ego.
Ugh sound like this guy I was just dating, none of the people before me made since not even his kids mom. I was the complete opposite 😳this explains it all!
Dude those holes in the background had me scratching at my phone screen for like half of the video no lie lol
lol
Hello Ben,
I feel like I’m doing much better than I was a few months back. Your videos and my faith has helped me understand much more and I’m grateful. I’m going to continue watching these videos and listening intently. Thank you Sir. Stay healthy and safe inside your body 😉🤙🏼
Yep accountability hit and he disappeared, every time
Lol I ran into my Narc ex today and Lordy lord I felt sorry for not only the new supply but for him too. Desperate is all I could think. I hope this poor woman realizes really fast that there is something not right. I even went home thinking I hope he doesn’t have a crisis and poor woman get the backlash of him running into me today. He looked like he was having a very hard time just by seeing me. He looked like he was on warp speed and cocaine. Beyond uncomfortable 😂😂😂🤦♀️ actually I realized why. He knows I see him and know what he’s all about and that’s why he was acting the way he was. They hate to know that I can see him.
I saw my ex narc as well holding his new supply hand after knowing her for 2 weeks, I felt pity for him because she’s a downgrade but young and moldable, it’s a no strings attached, he’s not gonna have her as his partner she’s not educated. I too saw his desperation to get the supply, just like a crack addict !! Smh
Mine married this poor soul in 6 months. He love bombed her so much and convinced her that all would be great if she relocated, left her business and sold her home. Future faking her but sadly she fell for the massive charm and lies. Heard already she is not happy and is having a hard time. It’s been like not even a year but heard it started even before she married him. She does anything he says absolutely believes his crap but he is a very ent ally and emotionally ill man. 🤦♀️
My ex narc texted & called 24/7. My screen time is substantially less now that he's out of the picture. I was talking to my brother. I was talking to my other brother. I was talking to my niece. All of which I am not sure they even existed. I'm actually thinking he had other supply on the go and was juggling all of us at once. Drove tractor trailer from Canada to USA, had all kinds of time to work on potential hostages.
It's finding out the whole thing was an act. I am not an actress. I'm the real deal, great catch, if you will. So at the end of the day he will go on in his sad, fake, sick life. And I will recover. Take time. But it does get better. Thank you for your videos. Much appreciated.
Best way to lose a narcissist is ask them to meet you half way and call them out on their behavior and treatment.
She actually said "I made you better"
Who else but a complete narcissist would say that.
Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU!! I’m recently divorced after 27 years; it hasn’t been final a year and my ex is already “in love” with the woman he ducked in our bed while we were still married. I had implemented no contact and was doing well until Mother’s Day when I discovered that he was in Greece with her and is doing for her all the things he either promised me or I asked for and he refused to do for me. I didn’t even get a happy Mother’s Day, but she did! I’ve been in such a tail spin of unworthiness since finding out. Hearing that he is probably with her because she is easy and not holding him responsible makes so much sense!! When I started asking for better treatment, setting, and maintaining boundaries things got really bad between us and never truly got better. Despite individual and couples therapy. I think he was waiting for me to start relaxing those boundaries and stop holding him accountable for behavior that never really stopped, it just changed format. Thanks again for the validation!
Please take care of yourself. You write well, sound interesting and intelligent. No contact….means no contact.…I’m sure you have many interests. Follow your heart. I got rid of all reminders…I mean All reminders. Take old family photos and put them in a box for the kids. Be aggressive in Not hearing or finding out what he is doing, with whom and where he is traveling. I was able to move to a different city….i think that really speeded up the healing process.
How is this so accurate? Gee..
We are lieing to ourselves if we act like we're better than their previous supply or their future supply.We need to work on our self-respect selfworth and self esteem. Were we a downgrade from their previous supply no we were just an object that was new at the time, nothing more. Yes it's the harsh truth. Healthy adults that respect themselves won't play their childish game.
You're right for the most part about not stalking their social media. In my particular case, it was helpful to a degree. Seeing how she mirrored her new supply and became a totally different person than she was when she was with me. She used to love metal and 90's grunge when she was with me, and suddenly she's into country. I needed to see this because I didn't understand how my "perfect match" wasn't the person I thought she was and I needed to learn that I projected upon her qualities of the person I wanted her to be- putting her on a pedestal. Part of this is my own fault. However, I should have validated that she's a narc and move on to heal my own traumas that makes me an easy target for narcs. Instead, I focussed way too much on her bad behaviors to validate that I did the right thing ending the relationship. I lost precious time.
Absolutely amazing content here. My narc married the affair partner and I had hints of these thoughts. Starting to believe my worth is not defined by the comparison. Your doing great great things for me healing journey. Brilliant
comparison is the thief of joy 🙏🏼
Yeh, it's been interesting to see who my ex narc is with now, 3 months after break up. Not anything like what I would have expected. I feel sorry for her because I think he's chosen someone that he can manipulate better than me. He and I both know he's a narcissist and I think he feels by moving onto her that he can just erase that but it's only a matter of time before she falls victim to his mind games and Hollywood acting. I don't believe it's real for a second because the day before I saw them together he asked me to unblock his calls. It's an act for everyone else and to show that he can have someone. Thankfully I was a little clued up on narcissism when I started to see the mask slip. It still took me way too long to detach but knowing helped me put the pieces together. I hope the same for her
I still have to live with mine due to housing though we broke up 10 months ago. Last night he was on the phone laughing A LOT while I was trying to sleep, then I heard a soft “I love you.”
If I wasnt as healed as I am I would have cried but instead
I just felt disgusted. Same tonality as he used to use with me. Fake sweet . Fake demure.
He was desperate and recycled a downgrade. He actually ignored her the week before in a social setting- because he was so confident. I reached out to her after he was rude to her and she ignored me. He made the old plays that used to work with me and I rebuffed him. Following week as soon as she appeared he ran out to tell mommy I was mean. Pathetic.
Easy
Brandi lazar
I'm getting a divorce from my covert narcissist wife.
It was an art for her to act like she cares.
She was having an affair/affairs, she only told me about 1 affair.
I got all of her credit card records for the last 3 years.... and it looks like she had a few affairs. She is crafty. She had 3 credit cards and used all 3 when going away on conferences and then when I got upset about how much money was being spent, she would just show me 1 card statement.
The other cards would have $100-200 dinners and uber rides on them.
She thought I was naïve for a long time but I was just sitting back pain attention.
Right when I filed for divorce I asked for all her credit card records and then compare them to all the conferences now I want all of her reimbursements from her work but she doesn't want to give me any of those documents.
Let them dig their own grave
A lot of narcs don't care they will get supply from anyone which is tragic the malignant narc could be with a donkey if it will give him supply 😂 they are tragic and sad creatures /demons.
Amazing video !!!
Thank you for the clarity!!
My ex left me for a downgrade... Much older lady, older then him too...
She has no steady job
She has more wrinkles then his mother and she is always drunk
She felt really great when she took him away from his respectfully family .... I guess she felt some sense of worth... But now ....
May i add that not only are the younger new supplies easy to mold BUT a much older (age wise) new supply is maybe even easier to mold cause they have to struggle to keep the narcissist interested!!! And they can be pushed around cause they really have nothing to give to the relationship
Dear God This happened to me too. He left me for an older Lady, he has mommy issues from childhood and hinted always that he liked older women. She looks so old in face , that does not matter finally but he is just sick in head. She is even more sick to jump into relationship with a guy clearly younger and out of fresh relationship for 4 years... so stupid these women
@@EatLoveLife these are all bad situations that they put us in.... We didn't deserve it but maybe God has His reasons for reliving us from these people
@@forever_young220 Mine has also narcissistic traits, emotionally immature and unstable. But I don’t understand how can these women put up with it. I was more or less his age (28) he is 30 and in head he is still stuck in childhood where he was abandoned. I don’t sincerely believe this woman will put up with it. I was trauma bonded and stayed 4 years
@@EatLoveLife :( these ladies deserve everything that they are going to get.... I don't feel a bit sorry for them ... She came into my family met our 4 kids and me ... acted like a friend just so she can do her research on how to please him and then ...well you know the rest....
@@forever_young220 But is she still with him, has he tried to hoover back on you?
Pain shopping 😊 steals yo soul 💯
U are absolutely right! Mine did exactly ALL the things u discuss. I’m glad I did not fall into his trap. Mine downgraded. The her in my face and tried to hurt me with what he was doing with her. That was the day I buried him. I have a child with him and co-parent. No jealousy because my eyes were wide open. When I did not respond he kept doing different things. I NEVER thought about looking her up or him! I smiled and kept on with my life. My thoughts were how awful he was and now she is his problem. As long as she is there he stays out my face for the most part
Do not even subject yourself to seeing what they are doing now. You are only looking upon evil in its truest form.
After 5 years I left a narc, who stalked me for 4 years. During this time one of his new supplies after me reached out for support and to make our “shared ex” crazy by pretending to date. This wasn’t worth the effort as it didn’t undo the past.
Thanks for sharing, I hope you are doing better now ! Healing may take time . I hope some of the other videos will be helpful to you.
Pls do a series on recovery post narcissist and change our attraction and vulnerability to a narcissist.
Exactly. What happened to me. She isolated me and spent all her time with me 24 seven she was in my face., and she got careless and then I found out she was emotionally cheating on me with someone else.
Instead of saying anything to her, I want after this guy . Just texted him and told him to stay out of my life and stay away from us…..
I will never forget to look on her face when I told her what I did . I knew instantly that I’ve lost… and the level of loyalty she went through this guy a guy who lives in another country. It’s astounding I have never seen the level of loyalty towards a stranger before.
I knew nothing about narcissist then , but narcissist, rather be loyal to strangers than their family.
Don't feel bad, narcissist are loyal to everyone except their own partner. My narcissist x would constantly choose her family over me. And I would do everything for. Great sex, oral, massages, foot rubs and would hug n caress her body all night n still she would choose her family over me. So I stopped putting fort so much effort. Someone better deserves all this from me. Not a heartless disloyal narcissist.
When I left my narcissist he told me he’s not giving up because he put too much work into me . 😮 he felt he molded me the way he wanted and it’s too much work to do it again
This is so true! I was the neive one & omg did he really a number on me. Im still coping 20 yrs later as the CPTSD im just now unraveling the mess i was in! But im just now learning what happened, & how to pull thru this mess!
It's never too late to begin your healing journey! Join our free masterclass and discover how to break free from toxic relationships here www.rawmotivations.com/masterclass..
I blocked the N exes number immediately after I left and I haven't had "Fakebook" in years, not even interested in what's going on in anyone's life.
I haven't read or responded at all to any messages or even worried about the calls from restricted numbers.
I just thank God that I have my freedom from that insidious evil and I make sure to find my peace and joy in doing whatever I'm interested in.
The last relationship with a narcissist was one of my best lessons. I delved into Bible study and I know what the narcs purpose in this world is all about AND I know I have a COMPLETELY different purpose than theirs.
The narc can be with a billionaire supermodel, with a genius IQ and I wouldn't feel a twinge of jealousy, anger or hurt. He and what he does with his life is no concern of mine. I feel neither love , nor hate, he simply just doesn't exist in my life anymore.
♥️
I think they get confused on their tactics on trying to make you jealous but, I also don't think they care who they supply themselves with they just like the attention either is utterly ridiculous to me.
It's the COMPLETE opposite in my case. The new supply makes even more than HE does...in my situation, I've been completely dependent on him, in ALL manners, for years...but sabotaged when trying to build independence...ugh... 😣
In my case it was simple, I wouldn’t put up with her abuse and would not sign another lease. She came back and like a fool I let her back in my life for a couple months and fixed her problems but she knew we couldn’t live together because of all the lies she told people after I left. So while she love bombed me (she cuts hair) she found a lonely 7 year client that told her he inherited his mom’s house and I found out very quickly that she had to be seeing someone else. She denied it and 4 days later made arrangements to move into his home. So it was all about her not having to pay rent or maybe half. So our years together came down to her not being able to afford rent! And he could never afford to give her the lifestyle I gave her and it hurts because I did really love her and all she did by doing this was show me everything was a lie and she never loved me she just needed me to pay bills.
Thank you. I thought I was messed up. LOL. Looks like I win!
I really like how you reversed your perspective of the broke up. Be happy instead of comparing ( thief of joy) acknowledging you are not anymore in that toxic relationship. I decided not to look at this circus 🤡. And a month later he called me 🤮. The other person she’s just a victim of his evil manipulation.
8:06 wow you nailed it here. So much so in my case she barely spoke English.
In the lead up to the discard (on my birthday) I’d given him the showdown of his life and as much as it damaged me psychologically to participate in the circular reasoning, painfully futile arguments that never found resolution, gaslighting and eventual reactions of telling me to verbatim to just shut up and stop talking, I couldn’t and wouldn’t let him convince me the harsh reality staring in my face was a figment of my imagination.
He wasn’t used to being called out like this by anyone, anywhere, ever in his almost 50 years of life.
Had kept his poor ex (the “bitch”) triangulated, silent and likely awfully miserable with his two twin 18 year old daughters. And bound irrevocably at his beck and call via messy financial structures.
The power and control dynamics I’ll never forgive myself for missing the flags in the beginning- and not dropping everything to run.
Especially when he demonstrated the need to freely 24/7 access to my personal banking affairs & for the first time since 15 years old I’d lost control of my own money. And caught going thru my phones, laptops, emails several times. On top of the wild tales told to justify bizarre circumstances he found himself in w young women.
I was so naive. I had nothing to hide so wasn’t really bothered about it most of it, just thought it was v strange.
He also shared with me a pretty catastrophic account of abuse he experienced as a child. Of course at the time I wholeheartedly believed and supported him, especially being one myself. Sad thing is now is that a very small part of me wonders if any of it was true.
Anyways, I actually do hope their relationship has actually worked out because I know for a fact that she would be in a very precarious financial position, that’s even if she’s got a legal right to be in the country.
Someone that vulnerable is ripe for becoming a victim of abuse.
Fingers crossed their differences might somehow work in their favour rather than the opposite.
Easy got that 💯 but why has the NEX moulded the “new” supply into my actual doppelgänger? NO contact is the win 🎉everytime beautiful beings ❤
Explained my ex perfect. She left because going on vacations was more important than saving for our future. We were together for 12 years and shes already been through 2 men that didn't even last a month each.
Yup, 10 years of lies and deceit, a child together and less than a month later he's in a whole relationship with a younger girl with the same name (he got my name tattooed when we were 18) who is appearance-wise everything he always talked so passionately about being gross and "the ratty type". Meanwhile he's telling me he still wants to grow old with me that he was waiting on me to take him back and not doing anything with anyone. 🙄
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4:07 this is why you go no contact and don’t engage
She got the tool to help
That sounds like my current situation. He's so pissed off at me for being a pain in the ass about what he did to me. I won't back down from it at all. He doesn't like it at all either. He told me to stop harassing him and blah, blah. Like a big toddler baby and it just makes me nuts Ben.
When my dog broke her tail, I told him the vet said to not touch her mid back through back legs, due to her high pain. So, he immediately rubbed her bottom, by tailbone, over and over; yes, using dog to gaslight me. It ensued into me reacting and telling him what I thought. He absolutely loved it and continued. He loves the negative attention.
So I hope you saves your innocent dog from him.
So I hope you saved your innocent dog from him.
Her new guy is 20 yrs older than me. Not much to look at or rich. But he would never leave her.
Never look them up never compare yourself with them know is hard but let that God and u will be happy
Very beneficial video for me to make sense of the current situation I am going through.
Perfect video Ben! Thank you. 🫂
Wow this was deep thank you. I watch a lot of Narc videos but this is the best I've seen on this topic you nailed it ❤️
Wow, thank you!I'm here to support you on your healing journey. If you need assistance, please schedule a one-on-one session with me at rawmotivations.com/one-on-ones.
@@RawMotivations thank you so much ❤️ you have really great content
@@robinlewisart_1997 thank you
Ben, pls create a series on how to recover from a narc. A second series on how to stop being attracted to or susceptible to a narc.
Look at my narcissist magnet video