Group works, discussions with seat partners, going to birthday parties, talking to new people, just any form of socialising, were always such a pain for me. i feel heard finally, Christina because i would dread them so badly. especially because somehow i was always forced into going. if i could avoid it i definitely would. i knew it was hurting me but i didn't care. it was way too scary to try. being in those situations, i found it just way too overstimulating and i would get tongue-tied, eat my words, and then get embarrassed if the other person looked even a bit confused. now i look forward to meeting new people, it definitely wasn't an overnight thing. took me just all my life tbh. but i've gotten so much better and i feel happier everyday. for whoever needs to hear this.
christina, you’re genuinely someone i look up to so much. as a 13 year old girl who struggles with most of the things you talk about in your videos, you’ve helped me so much with understanding myself. i also want to be a psychologist when i get older and how you talk about the human brain in your videos literally interests me so much like i genuinely go full nerd mode. anyways i just wanted to say how grateful i am that i stumbled across your channel because you make me feel so seen! :)
I nearly didn’t upload this video LOL This is an OLLDDDDDD video from the archives I wasn’t able to film a new video this week (ya girl is working 60 hours this week 🥲) But I still wanted to post for you guys so I thought I would upload this old video Audio and editing is not the best but things will be back to normal next week 🙏🏽
4:09 aside from trauma, I would like to add a different perspective, one about autism, it shows the difference between a panic attack caused by social anxiety vs. the sensory overwhelm(shutdown,meltdown) caused by all the auditory and visual stimuli, it can mimic that. Someone might avoid those situations, knowing its inevitably gonna be too much to handle sensory wise. A lot of medical professionals seem to be unable to grasp this and cannot seem to understand this difference. Additionally, yes, trauma and autism can go hand in hand, esp when living in an environment where you do not have the privilege of staying in a calm, peaceful environment, or having to continuous try so hard to blend in and have to think continously about what to say, and what to do and still not understand culture or relationships, then yes, that might also lead to isolation, because the only place you feel like being yourself and are allowed to be yourself is being alone, with headphones on and doing your own stuff at night, when all is calm and peaceful. -Feeling and emotions, having alexithymia and problems surrounding interoception(not being aware when its cold, warm, hunger, thirst, pain etc), and having delayed emotional processing, it isnt that i dont want to feel, its that i dont feel it at that moment, and have trouble understanding what im going through. Sometimes it helps to then journal at the end of the day, with no one around, and reflect on the day, to have an overview over what happened, and why i felt a certain way. For example on a certain moment, the only feeling that comes up is: i feel horrible, but I have no idea why. No idea if its physical(hunger, thirst, pain, too hot, cold, forgot to take off my jacket) or emotional(someones comment, or a certain interaction), or sensory(being in a loud space for a long time, or having to socialize for a long time, maybe the lights are too bright,etc). Figuring that out is a whole math equation in and out of itself. -Dread, meeting new people, new environments, this, you cannot desensitize. Having adhd and autism, already makes it that everything already feels uncomfortable and too much all the time, so it adds even more cognitive load having to navigate new places and environements. And to add to it, i live in the netherlands, im not dutch, i know im gonna be the odd one out, and also have to 'perform' aka be mindful of what i wear, what i say, how i say it, the tone and melody of my voice, my face when relaxed, what i do, everything will already be analysed by others the second they meet me/someone who isnt like them. and then hope they wont be racist. Even in my uni classes, there are times i had to defend myself and for people like me because some of those claims were so outdated and ridiculous, and to hear them say those out loud, reinforces the dread... -meditation, this can help feeling more in tune with your body and be aware of your body more, for me, guided is always my go to,a body scan, or some other type of guided meditation. So many times i do a quick scan,and notice myself that i had been subconsciously contracting certain muscles because of the physical overwhelm. -exercise, sure yes, but physical aside, i would also add mental/creative exercise and blocking time to only do those things, whether its writing, a hobby, or being busy with a special interest. idk, just a couple things that i wanted to share and shed some light on neurodivergent traits, since so many medical professionals and books about trauma dont always recognize or explain how similar they can be. While one can be healed, the other cant, but it is still helpful of course. Definitely much more than a cbt session😅😅. To live in a world of constant overwhelm, feeling safe and caring for your nervous system means advising people to isolate, and not feel bad about it, since desensitizing them will literally send them into autistic burnout. Isolating isnt bad, esp if you dont have a safe environment, or going outside is too overwhelming. Instead advising to maybe find an online community, discord, or playing games together, calling, whatever works for the individual to still feel like they have access to a community where they can feel safe and validated in. excuse my wall of text, its just some things that came to mind that i wish was more acknowledged to maybe help people discern the differences and the ways it may show up in one's life, other than that, great video and i love how you broke it down into different parts first describing, then also giving tips and advice on how to ease/overcome them😊
Omg thank you so much! Because of this reason i developed hyperhidrosis and i just know if my nervous System is regulated better i won‘t have it anymore!
I just recently discovered your channel, I can totally relate to the struggles about shying away from opening up and beeing vulnerable. I really enjoy your videos, keep it up!
I totally relate to this and the whole social anxiety of always being in red alert mode, wanting to control everything, that was literally me. Then I went to the not wanting to feel phase, and now I'm in the burying myself in "productivity" phase lol
I am really thankful that I saw your video for the first time. I found myself saying, "Oh my gosh, this is what I needed to hear a long time ago!" The best part is that I can understand everything easily, even though English isn't my strong suit. I'm in my last year of high school, and I've been through a lot, but this video helped me tremendously. Thank you so much, Christina! 🤍🤍
Do you think that avoidance is uniformly bad? Or are there instances when our mind does that to legitimately protect us? How did you know it was the right time to confront what you were avoiding? How did you know what not to approach right away? What was your thought process from Day 1 of breaking unwanted habits to Day 30? Was there anything from your old mindset that was reinforceable or did you entirely rewire? You're really brilliant by the way. You're well on your way to all sorts of profound accomplishments. Whether you care or not about the institutions that administer them lol. I'm so here for the space you're building for us! That will be very meaningful!
That sounds nice and all but I’m not sure it’s even possible. At this point, I’ve lived longer with my anxiety and depression than I’ve lived without it. It’s all I’ve ever known. Sometimes I fear that if I were to rid myself of it entirely, I may cease to exist. I guess it’s colored the way I look at things. It’s strange, I keep telling myself that happiness is all I want and yet the idea of being happy is a foreign one. It almost scares me. (I also just broke my bong. Kinda sucks.)
Group works, discussions with seat partners, going to birthday parties, talking to new people, just any form of socialising, were always such a pain for me. i feel heard finally, Christina because i would dread them so badly. especially because somehow i was always forced into going. if i could avoid it i definitely would. i knew it was hurting me but i didn't care. it was way too scary to try. being in those situations, i found it just way too overstimulating and i would get tongue-tied, eat my words, and then get embarrassed if the other person looked even a bit confused. now i look forward to meeting new people, it definitely wasn't an overnight thing. took me just all my life tbh. but i've gotten so much better and i feel happier everyday. for whoever needs to hear this.
i'm so proud of you!
christina, you’re genuinely someone i look up to so much. as a 13 year old girl who struggles with most of the things you talk about in your videos, you’ve helped me so much with understanding myself. i also want to be a psychologist when i get older and how you talk about the human brain in your videos literally interests me so much like i genuinely go full nerd mode. anyways i just wanted to say how grateful i am that i stumbled across your channel because you make me feel so seen! :)
Go watch tam kaur will help you
I nearly didn’t upload this video LOL
This is an OLLDDDDDD video from the archives
I wasn’t able to film a new video this week (ya girl is working 60 hours this week 🥲)
But I still wanted to post for you guys so I thought I would upload this old video
Audio and editing is not the best but things will be back to normal next week 🙏🏽
Hope you’re alright 60 hours is intense.
Take care of yourself girl🖤
4:09 aside from trauma, I would like to add a different perspective, one about autism, it shows the difference between a panic attack caused by social anxiety vs. the sensory overwhelm(shutdown,meltdown) caused by all the auditory and visual stimuli, it can mimic that. Someone might avoid those situations, knowing its inevitably gonna be too much to handle sensory wise. A lot of medical professionals seem to be unable to grasp this and cannot seem to understand this difference. Additionally, yes, trauma and autism can go hand in hand, esp when living in an environment where you do not have the privilege of staying in a calm, peaceful environment, or having to continuous try so hard to blend in and have to think continously about what to say, and what to do and still not understand culture or relationships, then yes, that might also lead to isolation, because the only place you feel like being yourself and are allowed to be yourself is being alone, with headphones on and doing your own stuff at night, when all is calm and peaceful.
-Feeling and emotions, having alexithymia and problems surrounding interoception(not being aware when its cold, warm, hunger, thirst, pain etc), and having delayed emotional processing, it isnt that i dont want to feel, its that i dont feel it at that moment, and have trouble understanding what im going through. Sometimes it helps to then journal at the end of the day, with no one around, and reflect on the day, to have an overview over what happened, and why i felt a certain way. For example on a certain moment, the only feeling that comes up is: i feel horrible, but I have no idea why. No idea if its physical(hunger, thirst, pain, too hot, cold, forgot to take off my jacket) or emotional(someones comment, or a certain interaction), or sensory(being in a loud space for a long time, or having to socialize for a long time, maybe the lights are too bright,etc). Figuring that out is a whole math equation in and out of itself.
-Dread, meeting new people, new environments, this, you cannot desensitize. Having adhd and autism, already makes it that everything already feels uncomfortable and too much all the time, so it adds even more cognitive load having to navigate new places and environements. And to add to it, i live in the netherlands, im not dutch, i know im gonna be the odd one out, and also have to 'perform' aka be mindful of what i wear, what i say, how i say it, the tone and melody of my voice, my face when relaxed, what i do, everything will already be analysed by others the second they meet me/someone who isnt like them. and then hope they wont be racist. Even in my uni classes, there are times i had to defend myself and for people like me because some of those claims were so outdated and ridiculous, and to hear them say those out loud, reinforces the dread...
-meditation, this can help feeling more in tune with your body and be aware of your body more, for me, guided is always my go to,a body scan, or some other type of guided meditation. So many times i do a quick scan,and notice myself that i had been subconsciously contracting certain muscles because of the physical overwhelm.
-exercise, sure yes, but physical aside, i would also add mental/creative exercise and blocking time to only do those things, whether its writing, a hobby, or being busy with a special interest.
idk, just a couple things that i wanted to share and shed some light on neurodivergent traits, since so many medical professionals and books about trauma dont always recognize or explain how similar they can be. While one can be healed, the other cant, but it is still helpful of course. Definitely much more than a cbt session😅😅. To live in a world of constant overwhelm, feeling safe and caring for your nervous system means advising people to isolate, and not feel bad about it, since desensitizing them will literally send them into autistic burnout. Isolating isnt bad, esp if you dont have a safe environment, or going outside is too overwhelming. Instead advising to maybe find an online community, discord, or playing games together, calling, whatever works for the individual to still feel like they have access to a community where they can feel safe and validated in.
excuse my wall of text, its just some things that came to mind that i wish was more acknowledged to maybe help people discern the differences and the ways it may show up in one's life, other than that, great video and i love how you broke it down into different parts first describing, then also giving tips and advice on how to ease/overcome them😊
Omg thank you so much! Because of this reason i developed hyperhidrosis and i just know if my nervous System is regulated better i won‘t have it anymore!
i didn't know it was a condition that was developed? i thought you just had it.
I just recently discovered your channel, I can totally relate to the struggles about shying away from opening up and beeing vulnerable. I really enjoy your videos, keep it up!
Im so glad I found this channel thank you for all the motivation
As a recovering people presser this channel as helped a lot thank you very much
I totally relate to this and the whole social anxiety of always being in red alert mode, wanting to control everything, that was literally me. Then I went to the not wanting to feel phase, and now I'm in the burying myself in "productivity" phase lol
This makes so much sense now…
yah i bet
You would probably like the You Make Sense podcast. It's been eye opening
@@lenora4851 I’ll check it out!
i love all the book recommendations in your vids
ı really needed this. ı can not handle myself anymore. just wanna throw this girl somewhere else live my damn life.
I loved the video, ❤I really liked it and I would love to see another more detailed video related to anxiety and how to combat it
I am really thankful that I saw your video for the first time. I found myself saying, "Oh my gosh, this is what I needed to hear a long time ago!" The best part is that I can understand everything easily, even though English isn't my strong suit. I'm in my last year of high school, and I've been through a lot, but this video helped me tremendously. Thank you so much, Christina! 🤍🤍
hii i really enjoyed this video and have found new insights through this video about how to regulate my nervous system better :)
Do you think that avoidance is uniformly bad? Or are there instances when our mind does that to legitimately protect us? How did you know it was the right time to confront what you were avoiding? How did you know what not to approach right away? What was your thought process from Day 1 of breaking unwanted habits to Day 30? Was there anything from your old mindset that was reinforceable or did you entirely rewire? You're really brilliant by the way. You're well on your way to all sorts of profound accomplishments. Whether you care or not about the institutions that administer them lol. I'm so here for the space you're building for us! That will be very meaningful!
Thank you for educating ❤
Merry Christmas Christine ❤
Arrived at the same time - thank u!
Oops the right time 😂
That sounds nice and all but I’m not sure it’s even possible.
At this point, I’ve lived longer with my anxiety and depression than I’ve lived without it. It’s all I’ve ever known. Sometimes I fear that if I were to rid myself of it entirely, I may cease to exist.
I guess it’s colored the way I look at things. It’s strange, I keep telling myself that happiness is all I want and yet the idea of being happy is a foreign one. It almost scares me.
(I also just broke my bong. Kinda sucks.)
OOOH NEVER BEEN THIS EARLYY
🍇 :)
first ??? can i get a pin ???
no
-Christina Aaliyah
@TheGamer2554_ yeah coz there are other comments that are way more useful than mine tho