Crochet, The Holidays & Expectations: A Heartfelt Talk

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  • @estefanamanrique3317
    @estefanamanrique3317 3 дні тому +2

    Words of wisdom comes out of your mouth!!! I feel the same after many years. Why do this to ourselves when a lotery ticket brings more joy than a good pair of handknitted socks? Well... This year, only my husband deserves it!

  • @emrooker
    @emrooker 2 дні тому +1

    When I was a kid I did do crochet gifts a couple years. One year I did pineapple doilies. Another year I did crocheted snowflake ornaments and nylon dish scrubbies. I never thought much about what the people would do with my gifts. I did it for pure enjoyment for myself. Before learning to crochet I gave cross stitched items to my grand parents only. My grand parents did display all the work I made. I’ve also picked only people I know would appreciate my work as an adult.

  • @djlclopez128
    @djlclopez128 6 днів тому +6

    This is where knitting machines come in handy.
    Step 1: Buy knitting machine
    Step 2: Buy cheap garage sale yarn
    Step 3: Make sock hats/mini infinity scarves at record speed, less than 1 per minute
    Step 4: Sew together quickly
    Step 5: Now you have tons of one size fits all gifts for every person and a knitting machine for later haha

    • @ShannonTalksYarn
      @ShannonTalksYarn  6 днів тому +4

      Great idea!!!

    • @jessmakingit
      @jessmakingit 5 днів тому +1

      I make scarves, hats, and socks on my knitting machines, then donate extras to the local schools. There are days when kids can't go outside for recess if they don't have hats, mitts, etc, so with donations, they can just stop in the office and grab out of "Nana's Hat Box" and keep the hat they pick.

    • @djlclopez128
      @djlclopez128 5 днів тому +1

      @@jessmakingit Aww that is so smart, I wanna start doing that too!

    • @jessmakingit
      @jessmakingit 5 днів тому +1

      @@djlclopez128 I do most of them during the summer when I prefer smaller projects that aren't roasting me while I finish them up. It works out great! I've also found that I can use some pretty nice yarns by watching closeout sales, etc. It probably sounds weird, but I have a couple of pages of notes that track the normal price of certain yarns, as well as 'lowest this year' prices, so that I can tell if a sale is really a good deal or just marketing noise.
      We get so cold some days that it's actually dangerous not to have a hat or mitts, so there's very few mentions of whether something is trendy or not and anything you can put on your head & hands is fine. So even if the colors are odd lots it doesn't really matter as long as it helps with warmth.

  • @vickicoleman2474
    @vickicoleman2474 6 днів тому +6

    Once I was going to crochet something for a dear friend. I don’t know if she guessed I had that in mind, but she said, “ I just HATE homemade gifts. Well, I scrapped my plan, but guess what-she gave me a little ceramic set that she made in her Ceramics class. 😂. I do treasure it, but I was shocked🥸

  • @villapulla
    @villapulla 6 днів тому +3

    I have found it helpful to understand that different people show their appreciation in different ways. My dad has worn a pair of socks I knit him until they got huge holes on the soles (currently waiting to snatch them and mend them to their former glory). But I know other people who feel like hand knit gifts are too precious to be worn down and they might save them for special occasions or just sentimental value.

  • @BarbaraRobbins-s4s
    @BarbaraRobbins-s4s 3 дні тому +1

    You are wise beyond your years! My problem has always been trying to make a magaziny perfect holiday, and always feeling I didnt quite make it. My sister once said "expectation minus reality equals disappointment. How true!

  • @diana4353
    @diana4353 6 днів тому +1

    Thank you

  • @CranberryCake
    @CranberryCake 7 днів тому +8

    My father has said he only wants handmade gifts. Last year, I gave him a doily in his favourite colors. I met him 2 months ago, and saw that the gift was still unopened, and collecting dust. Fair enough, he won't be getting anything from me this year. If he only wants handmade stuff, but doesn't even bother to OPEN it, he won't be getting anything then.

    • @funniful
      @funniful 7 днів тому +2

      I’m not sure if I’d ever give a man a doily. I’ve made blankets, and hats for the two men in my life. They love them and use them.

  • @ValerieHollifield
    @ValerieHollifield 7 днів тому +1

    Such a wonderful video Shannon! Thanks so much. ❤

  • @cocoscrochet6380
    @cocoscrochet6380 6 днів тому +2

    Hi Shannon 🤗 we quickly work out who appreciates our crocheted gifts! 🥰🧶🤩

    • @ShannonTalksYarn
      @ShannonTalksYarn  6 днів тому +2

      We sure do!!! I hope you are doing well my friend ❤️

  • @slowcrochet
    @slowcrochet 5 днів тому +1

    Ah, the joys of being "Slow Crochet". There's this Venn diagram for presents that has a circle for things I want to make, things I have time to make, and things that are worth keeping (i.e. not adding to clutter). The center space is tiny, if it exists at all, especially around Christmas! And - funnily enough, I just placed a JoAnn's order for that Merry Mingle yarn 😆 I think you and I saw the same video!

    • @ShannonTalksYarn
      @ShannonTalksYarn  4 дні тому +2

      I broke down and ordered the merry mingle too! Shorty after filming this 😂

  • @yarnycat_crochet
    @yarnycat_crochet 6 днів тому +2

    I have many many holiday issues from family get togethers 😂 there was a time I didn’t go at all. I’m back to the point where I enjoy my family again ❤ I just go with no expectations. I make things like washcloths with scrubby material and anyone who wants one can have it (like a party favor.) it sounds cheesy but my aunts love them 😊 my aunt who is the hostess, I make her a hostess gift. This year I think I’m going to make pot holders 😊

    • @ShannonTalksYarn
      @ShannonTalksYarn  6 днів тому +2

      I think that’s a great idea! Low time and money investment!

    • @yarnycat_crochet
      @yarnycat_crochet 6 днів тому

      @@ShannonTalksYarn for sure and if she doesn’t use them so what? Maybe she will give them to someone who needs them 😊

  • @delladearest2511
    @delladearest2511 6 днів тому +1

    Hey Shannon and kitty 😻 👋
    Someone gave me some old acrylic yarn and I made a number of boggy creek blankets for them and I know they will be appreciated.
    I rarely make items for anyone except for one friend who always appreciates what I make for her and she’ll send me pictures of it displayed in her home or wearing it. Otherwise I will only make for someone if they pay for the yarn.

  • @AlasBabylon1
    @AlasBabylon1 7 днів тому +10

    I started in July and have crocheted gifts for my entire family (even though I said on your video in July that I was going to finally start making things for myself, lol). They're all beautiful gifts--scarves, hats, gloves, bags, slippers, etc., 15 gifts in total. But yes, now I am sitting here wondering if they will like what I made. **sigh** I have to stop doing this, lol. I did make a pretty hat for myself today, though. 🧡

    • @ShannonTalksYarn
      @ShannonTalksYarn  7 днів тому +2

      I’m glad you made one for yourself, you deserve it! I think you did a great job, starting early and giving yourself lots of time. Now you can relax and actually enjoy the holiday season!

    • @AlasBabylon1
      @AlasBabylon1 6 днів тому +1

      @@ShannonTalksYarn I made myself some slippers too, tee hee. And you're right: I have zero pressure for the holidays and everything was done with $100 total for 15 gifts.

  • @karenbailey3493
    @karenbailey3493 6 днів тому +1

    I have realized through time that crocheting is MY hobby. I enjoy it. I make things. I buy yarn. Just because I enjoy this craft, and create things with it, doesn’t mean I need to force this on others. I make stuff I want to make. If someone sees it and loves it I give it. My husband had a male work friend who had a crocheter who made him a blanket for Christmas. Apparently she had bought expensive yarn and made this with expectations. She basically said he “better like and appreciate it” because of all the time and money she spent. 😐 He was resentful and didn’t appreciate that attitude and he’s right. HE didn’t instruct or tell her to make that for him. SHE WANTED TO. Period. So. Make it. Give it. If you must. But do NOT expect that person to owe you anything. They can also use it. Not use it. Wash their car with it. It’s theirs. You GAVE it to them. Please fellow crafters. Stop pushing your own agenda on your friends and family. It’s not what giving is about. Thank you Shannon for having this honest conversation on your platform.

    • @ShannonTalksYarn
      @ShannonTalksYarn  6 днів тому +1

      You’re welcome! Yep, we just can’t expect others to value what we do and it’s not fair to them !

  • @jessmakingit
    @jessmakingit 5 днів тому +1

    It was a hard truth when my husband told me that our kids and grandkids don't want and don't appreciate the things that I make for them. It made me sad. Then I realized that was me projecting my own feelings loving handmade items, onto some people that don't want them. I think they all appreciate the effort & thought, but don't need or don't want to own those items.
    The actual truth is that we have an extremely large family (7 kids and many grandkids) and it's hard to keep up with trying to make gifts. So I'm ok not trying to make gifts for everyone anymore. I've told them all that if they want something, just ask. Of all our grandkids, I have 4 that regularly ask for handmade items. Frankly that's plenty to try to keep up with, so this approach is working. The extra stuff that I make, I put in a couple of totes, bring them out a couple times a year at family gatherings and anyone can take what they want. Things that don't get taken get donated, etc I realize that I will make things regardless of whether anyone in my immediate family wants them or not. I just make stuff. Also, there are plenty of kids in our community that don't have hats, mitts, etc for winter, so usually I bring a box of hats, mitts, scarves, cowls to the local schools and they keep them in the office, so that if a kid needs something so they can go outside at recess, then they can take it and keep it.
    No pressure on me to finish certain things on a deadline, and no pressure for me to stop making stuff. It also gives me the "feel goods" to give to families that really need something.
    As a side note, my mom and dad always ask for a couple pair of handknit socks for Christmas, and a couple of our kids and kids-in-law like handmade items as well.
    Take care & happy holiday season!

    • @ShannonTalksYarn
      @ShannonTalksYarn  4 дні тому +1

      That is hard to hear but it sounds like you’ve got a great attitude and plan! You have a wonderful holiday season too!

    • @jessmakingit
      @jessmakingit 4 дні тому

      @@ShannonTalksYarn You're right. I have a plan and once over the initial shock, it's actually kind of a relief. Not as demanding and I get to make more of what I want to make. Have a wonderful holiday season.

  • @funniful
    @funniful 7 днів тому +1

    For the most part, I don’t crochet for gifts. I put too much of my heart into my projects…they need to be for someone who actually appreciates that! ME lol 😆 That being said, I have three people who love and want things I make, and I’m very happy to make things for them. No one else is special enough tho.

  • @Margot_Lazarus
    @Margot_Lazarus 6 днів тому +1

    Shannon, I think that this was a great topic to cover. As crafters it's so easy to just want to make handmade gifts, but like you said, disappointment sometimes comes with that. I remember when I was like 13 I made my friend a scarf in her favorite color and she loved it! However, when I got my gift from her, it was a pair of Walmart socks and instead of thinking that's what she could afford that year I felt like I valued our friendship more. This year I get to make a little handmade because my niece is obsessed with my handknit socks so I'm knitting her a couple pairs and I know she'll be thrilled. Other than that, nothing handmade though. Either because I feel like I've given everyone enough handmade, or I don't think they'll appreciate it. Also, I don't have enough time! but I've learned, you really have to be selective about who will appreciate it! Thanks for covering this topic

    • @ShannonTalksYarn
      @ShannonTalksYarn  6 днів тому +1

      Exactly!!! That’s such a point about your teenage friend too! I would have probably felt the exact same way…..and even today it might be easy to think it too! Thanks for sharing 🫶🏻

  • @josiahsterling7308
    @josiahsterling7308 7 днів тому +13

    I feel like part of the reason handmade gifts (and it seems especially true for crochet) is because of oversaturation. If a person who doesn't crochet gets a blanket every wedding, baby, aniversary, birthday, Christmas and arbor day they are going to think of these things as common and lower value. If crochet items are given less frequently, they have more percieved value, and people will be more likely to treasure them more.

    • @ShannonTalksYarn
      @ShannonTalksYarn  7 днів тому +2

      That totally happens! I’m 100% guilty of over crocheting for my daughter!

    • @yarnycat_crochet
      @yarnycat_crochet 6 днів тому

      You could make a different Christmas ornament each year. They are small and become a set, if the person enjoys crochet. 😅

  • @alysewalker4809
    @alysewalker4809 6 днів тому +2

    I made my grandmother a blanket about 20 years ago. It took me months to make it. When i gave it too her she was really impressed and then said it was too pretty to use. She put it in her closet. Years later, when her husbad passed, she said she needed to purchase a blanket for her leg while people came to the house. My mother said.... why use the blanket that your granddaughter (meaning me) made. And that my feelings were that she never used it. She then used the blanket. I told her if she didnt use it, i wanted it back when she passed.

    • @ShannonTalksYarn
      @ShannonTalksYarn  6 днів тому +2

      I’m sorry to hear that! It’s too bad you had to go through that!

    • @alysewalker4809
      @alysewalker4809 6 днів тому

      @@ShannonTalksYarn i realise that she really did appreciate it and didn't want it to get messed up or used by someone else. When she passed, it was in great condition and my family use now. I look back now and laugh.

  • @MrsDebbieLW
    @MrsDebbieLW 7 днів тому +4

    Very good advice. Thank you

  • @Lopeylot
    @Lopeylot 6 днів тому +1

    I really needed this video. Also, I adore the color way in your beanie!

    • @ShannonTalksYarn
      @ShannonTalksYarn  6 днів тому +2

      Glad I could help! The beanie is 2 yarns held together. Deep Teal in Herrshners Afghan yarn and a discontinued 4weight wool that was muted fall colors 😃

  • @Baselle
    @Baselle 7 днів тому +2

    I've been lucky...I think. I've given gifts to very good friends far away so I don't know how they are being used or ignored. I make and enjoy my making and that is where the gift is (to me).

  • @sweetmomentsbyjessie
    @sweetmomentsbyjessie День тому +1

    Hi Shannon! Great video! ♥️ I might make something small for one or two people this year, but other than that I don’t have plans to make everyone Christmas gifts. I’ve been learning to not keep overwhelming and stressing myself out…that means not taking on as much…my body literally can’t take that anymore lol 😊

    • @ShannonTalksYarn
      @ShannonTalksYarn  День тому +2

      Oh my gosh, I and 100% right there with you!!! I can’t take the added stress either!

  • @kittycat2167
    @kittycat2167 6 днів тому +2

    I'm relieved that the adult members of my family has decided not to give gifts. Because we don't see each other often the presence of loved ones is the present. I mostly crochet toys so I make some for the kids in my family and feel no pressure to make anything else.

    • @ShannonTalksYarn
      @ShannonTalksYarn  6 днів тому +1

      That is always a relief! Makes it so much easier!

  • @mishellegarrett9243
    @mishellegarrett9243 7 днів тому +4

    Such a beautiful culprit 😻

  • @Leilonni
    @Leilonni 7 днів тому +3

    I have been so busy making things for craft fairs. No time to make gifts for family or friends this year. We have a gift exchange for 1 person for a $100 dollars. We pick names. That way we don't go broke at Christmas. We place more important being with our family than the gifts.😊

    • @ShannonTalksYarn
      @ShannonTalksYarn  7 днів тому +2

      I hope your markets are going great!!!! And that’s a great idea for family!

  • @lynnmccartney1702
    @lynnmccartney1702 7 днів тому +1

    So agree!!!!!!!

  • @yarneylife194
    @yarneylife194 7 днів тому +4

    Well Shannon I have learnt my lesson so . Few ppl will receive what I am making. I usually make shawls for churches ectra and hats for the homeless. But for ppl that I know there are a few. So, the tables are turning Shannon. Yup now it is Me -me and me! I will make for myself whatever I feel like making period!! So now when you did your last video on ornaments ectra. I was inspired to do those. I did xmas ornament balls a pumpkin and 4 trees. They are going to people I know love my work and love the art. Period! LOL So I know they are going to go to good hands. People that appreciate Fiber Arts.TFS

  • @showandtellmeg
    @showandtellmeg 6 днів тому +4

    I totally agree! As a person on a tight budget for most of my life, ive realized that the most expensive thing I have is my time. Thats essentially what money buys you - time and space. Anyway, I've done years where I made everyone a gift and I no longer do that. I may make a few items for people who are "knit worthy" or "crochet worthy", but if im unsure that someone would appreciate my work, I'd rather spend the $30 on a store bought gift than give them hours of my precious time.

  • @heatherwood756
    @heatherwood756 7 днів тому +4

    I completely agree! I am also blessed because 2 of my adult children love hand made. In fact one of my daughters encouraged me to learn crochet. I also have family that would literally roll their eyes. I felt so sorry for many of the commenters, I hope they have found more worthy recipiants.

    • @ShannonTalksYarn
      @ShannonTalksYarn  7 днів тому +2

      That is great you have some that love handmade! Totally makes it worth it!

  • @joannunemaker6332
    @joannunemaker6332 7 днів тому +2

    I enjoyed this video. Luckily, I've only done prayer shawls. I really don't know if my family would like crocheted items. But, I did make a huge blanket for my sister. She asked me to make it.😊😊❤❤

    • @ShannonTalksYarn
      @ShannonTalksYarn  7 днів тому +1

      I think is so cool that you’ve found a particular type of project that brings joy to you and the recipients and is for a great cause. I think that an absolutely wonderful way to focus your crochet!

  • @yarnycat_crochet
    @yarnycat_crochet 6 днів тому +2

    Love your kitty cat ❤

  • @WinkTartanBelle
    @WinkTartanBelle 7 днів тому +3

    I look at my fiber arts as a hobby that gives me joy and a sense of accomplishment. If, as a by-product, I produce something I choose to give as a gift, great! I don’t feel obligated or pressured to make things for anyone but myself. It isn’t a job. I learned long ago that no one values my time or effort as much as I do. That seems natural. If I gift something I’ve created to someone, it’s a real gift from me. That means “No expectations “ and , to me, that’s truly the definition of a gift. Just my $0.50 (adjusting for inflation!) and nothing more. ❤️

  • @sproutgarden_
    @sproutgarden_ 5 днів тому +1

    my mother ASKED for a crocheted cardigan for her birthday, it was in 4 ply black yarn, she hasn’t worn it once and it’s been 6 years

  • @LynneRedick-su1ji
    @LynneRedick-su1ji 7 днів тому +2

    You have great counseling skills, girl! You make a lot of sense , and I admire your crochet journey and gift giving advice. 😀

  • @GumboGirl13
    @GumboGirl13 7 днів тому +2

    This makes perfect sense, Shannon! Actually, I was just working on a project that I felt like I needed to make for my daughter-in-law and I was not enjoying it. Only a little bit into it and because I’m not enjoying it I’m not going to continue. Time for frogging. Your words have helped me think about the holidays. Thank you so much.

    • @ShannonTalksYarn
      @ShannonTalksYarn  7 днів тому +2

      You are so welcome! It’s so good that you identified that!!!

  • @bendy2660
    @bendy2660 6 днів тому +1

    I love your cardigan! Any details on it?
    I agree about the gifting. I dream up elaborate gifts that I think my friends and family would love but never make them. I know I’m crazy sensitive and would feel a lil bummed if they weren’t appreciated and don’t wanna put that expectation on people.

    • @ShannonTalksYarn
      @ShannonTalksYarn  6 днів тому +2

      Yep, I totally get I’m sensitive and kinda have that rejection sensitivity dysphoria I think.
      I wish I made the cardigan! It was thrifted 🤷🏻‍♀️

  • @katietomblin6823
    @katietomblin6823 7 днів тому +1

    Your hat is so cute! Is there a pattern somewhere?

    • @ShannonTalksYarn
      @ShannonTalksYarn  6 днів тому +1

      Hi Katie! The beanie is 2 yarns held together. Deep teal in herrschners afghan yarn and a discontinued wool 4 weight variegated in muted fall colors. Here’s a video with instructions on how I make all my simple beanies! Crochet My Signature Beanie...It's so easy!
      ua-cam.com/video/wyb2KCDQi0w/v-deo.html

  • @BlackPixelDustt
    @BlackPixelDustt 6 днів тому +2

    I mean... there is a saying. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Its not exactly what i want to say but close enough. I think we should all ask ourselves: do people in our lives really need handmade gifts from you? Especially, do they want them? Are they indifferent?
    I think we should think about it. If this person is talking about how they want all the latest Apple gadgets (possibly for chrismas), do you think they will want a handmade scarf? Saying "well this is what I can afford" isn't great. It's setting yourself up for emotional upset and possibly a damaged relationship if they do reject your gift.
    You could always make things for yourself. Make yourself a Christmas/holiday sweater. Make yourself a shawl, or plushies, or wall hangings, if you feel the need to make things for the holidays.
    Plus, homeless shelters, retirement homes, halfway houses, and similar shelters always could use (and appreciate) handmade gifts. Ask your church/temple/other religious place or community centers if they would like handmade decor.
    A lot of these places don't get much of anything for the holidays.
    As for me, I am working year round on my own knitted/crocheted garments and accessories. I only have time for small things like hats, mittens and Cowls for shelters. I learned a while ago that some people only want store bought things or even expensive electronics. Let them like these things, instead of hurting yourself by making things and then being offended! Plus... there is the situation some have alluded to: does everyone in your friend group and extended family need a ton of hats or scarves for every holiday every year? Think about it.

  • @AlrakWeaver
    @AlrakWeaver 6 днів тому +2

    I’m done making Xmas gifts. Just donate to programs.
    🤗🧶

    • @ShannonTalksYarn
      @ShannonTalksYarn  6 днів тому +1

      That’s a really great idea and use of resources!