Don’t confuse forgiveness with reconciliation. Reconciliation is regaining trust. The goal is not to deny and continue to be abused. I can forgive and not be in relationship with the unsafe, wreckless person.
Amazing! You’re able to articulate some very subtle false beliefs and unhealthy simplistic Christian responses to deeper complex issues of pain a d trauma! As a Therapist who is a Christian, I’ve been using IFS for the past three years and am intrigued by your insights and clarifications. Small suggestion, maybe think about a different “god image” for Self. There’s got to be something better than Baby Yoda. Though I am a star wars fan.
Hi. Thanks so much for this. I came to the video to understand more about the nature of forgiveness within IFS therapy. I understood you to say that for forgiveness to happen, we have to know what we are forgiving. Elsewhere, you explain that 'fact seeking' can be a protector / manager. If the partner is very secretive about their infidelity, and is not acknowledging (maybe even to themselves) the full extent of their deception / betrayal, can forgiveness happen? To summarise, do you believe (i) full disclosure to be essential for forgiveness, and (ii) forgiveness of the other, essential to move on?
Hi Sylvia, thanks for your question! We believe that full disclosure is essential for real trust to be established in a relationship. Can forgiveness happen outside of full disclosure, possibly. But it may be difficult to forgive what you don't know about.
Some useful insights about betrayal, forgiveness, spiritual bypassing, and dangerous rejection of negative emotions. The three N's are useful too. However, I found the use of Yoda and Dart Vedar as symbols of The Self and the Exile very confusing. An exile is the most vulnerable, tender part of us, so why would a black mask that represents evil, fear, and violence represent this well? And does a cartoon figure of Yoda respectfully represent the Self or God image? It seems to trivialise it. Other symbols, like the Happy Part, were much more appropriate. Apart from this, a very useful talk. It is good to see how IFS can also help to counteract the parts of us that may hold rigid and unloving spiritual ideals applied without empathy. And how we can call on our inner Self for support instead of depending on outside help.
I'm a little uncomfortable with a Christian representing the God image with new age and pagan references like Yoda, Zen Buddhism and the force, while the unhelpful spiritualizer is the cross?
I can not share this great information with baby yoda representing such an important component. Also the props distract from the message. I feel like I'm a child watching a puppet show.
Don’t confuse forgiveness with reconciliation. Reconciliation is regaining trust. The goal is not to deny and continue to be abused. I can forgive and not be in relationship with the unsafe, wreckless person.
Amazing! You’re able to articulate some very subtle false beliefs and unhealthy simplistic Christian responses to deeper complex issues of pain a d trauma! As a Therapist who is a Christian, I’ve been using IFS for the past three years and am intrigued by your insights and clarifications.
Small suggestion, maybe think about a different “god image” for Self. There’s got to be something better than Baby Yoda. Though I am a star wars fan.
Yes Yoda is evil. Big trust issue to see a lack of discernment.
Super helpful and practical ❤. Thanks for sharing this
I loved your props - so perfect!
we need to befriend all protectors
Had to come over from the podcast and see for myself
Brilliant.
Hi. Thanks so much for this. I came to the video to understand more about the nature of forgiveness within IFS therapy. I understood you to say that for forgiveness to happen, we have to know what we are forgiving. Elsewhere, you explain that 'fact seeking' can be a protector / manager. If the partner is very secretive about their infidelity, and is not acknowledging (maybe even to themselves) the full extent of their deception / betrayal, can forgiveness happen? To summarise, do you believe (i) full disclosure to be essential for forgiveness, and (ii) forgiveness of the other, essential to move on?
Hi Sylvia, thanks for your question! We believe that full disclosure is essential for real trust to be established in a relationship. Can forgiveness happen outside of full disclosure, possibly. But it may be difficult to forgive what you don't know about.
Some useful insights about betrayal, forgiveness, spiritual bypassing, and dangerous rejection of negative emotions. The three N's are useful too. However, I found the use of Yoda and Dart Vedar as symbols of The Self and the Exile very confusing. An exile is the most vulnerable, tender part of us, so why would a black mask that represents evil, fear, and violence represent this well? And does a cartoon figure of Yoda respectfully represent the Self or God image? It seems to trivialise it. Other symbols, like the Happy Part, were much more appropriate. Apart from this, a very useful talk. It is good to see how IFS can also help to counteract the parts of us that may hold rigid and unloving spiritual ideals applied without empathy. And how we can call on our inner Self for support instead of depending on outside help.
I guess dissociative parts are a kind of firefifighter part
I'm a little uncomfortable with a Christian representing the God image with new age and pagan references like Yoda, Zen Buddhism and the force, while the unhelpful spiritualizer is the cross?
I can not share this great information with baby yoda representing such an important component. Also the props distract from the message. I feel like I'm a child watching a puppet show.