11:22 I'm Super bummed about Sears When my grandpa died- I said at least there's still Sears- like my car will be ok My car in not ok anymore he misses Sears too
Simon: 'talks about how Biographics talks about dead people' "don't worry Danny, you'll get there eventually." Presumably once the radiator chain comes loose.
It's nice to come to a channel & know _somebody_ in the comment section thinks _exactly_ the same thing. Even types it all out for you, so you just have hit the 'like' button. Thank you John Smith, great minds think scary things together! 😂😂😂😘
Yeah,...........I wonder how much her earns out of it,...............'allegedly',.........😉😉😉😉😉😄😄😄😄😄😋😋😋😋😋😋😋😋😋😋😋😋😋😋😋He must be a millionaire right now,...........😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄
I feel like this episode should have mentioned Sears catalog homes - where you could buy the blueprints and materials to build a house on your own. Lol
@CrazyCat Lady - The Craftsman warranty was legendary ! Just go into a store with a broken Craftsman tool, and they'd replace it, with no paperwork, or strings. If that tool broke, it could be replaced again, forever !
At least in Colony the best two side characters weren't killed off in a half-arsed attempt to wrap up some of the loose ends by introducing a new even more secret badass element that's definitely been there from the start. (spoilers)
Hey Simon. OG here. Have been watching since episode one! If we should miss a few episodes, we have a blaze marathon! Stay coked up, remember to look after ETA and remember this week you have to let Danny out to go wash the zebra sex masks again!
Ah yes, the best moment of the year, when the Sears Wishbook would come in the mail and we could start circling all the things we would never get for Christmas
Yes! Right to the toy section, I would circle what I wanted. I still remember the smell of that book. It was the smell of broken dreams on Christmas Day. We also had a book sent to us from a company called Best. It had even more toys in it than Sears.
Simon: "I don't want to offend anyone' Also Simon: *constantly takes the piss on anything and everything all the time* I love you you beautiful bald man
I feel there is a pretty fine line between things its okay to take the piss out of and things its not. Often I cross it, but I try not to be a total knob about it.
@@brainblaze6526 - No matter what to _try_ to tell us, you'll _never ever_ get anything from the channel, _but_ the love you _all_ deserve. Another sub mentioned, you should consider starting a new channel call it 'Conspiracy Blaze'. You know? _Blaze_ conspiracy theories!💋🇨🇦
Peter Weikert - Dude, he gave us _all_ access to _your_ webcam. You know during that live stream, right before he Blazed today. Peek-a-boo we see you! 😂😂😂😂
Digitalhunny DUDE ! DON'T GIVE OUT ALL THE SECRETS ! He's not a Blazebro he might try to tell authorities. Of course then we could just leak the video of him watching midget porn ...
Sears did quite literally sell everything you could want. They even sold houses in kit form delivered in phases so you buy the kit then tell them when your ready for the next batch of parts to be delivered.
Are you admitting your _real_ name is Peter? 😂😂😂 Cause, Imma change mine legally & rewatch this video. Why? Cause I'm that bored this summer... covid.😕
I feel like the longer this channel goes on, the greater gets the ratio of sarcastic banter between Danny and Simon to actual content. And I'm all here for it
Sears used to sell actually everything. Many of the houses in my town were sold by Sears - basically made like IKEA furniture and shipped for people to assemble themselves. Ordered from a house catalog. In the early 1908-1914.
Hey Simon, there is ALOT more involved in Sears' crashing that actually might fit the channel. You should do a video on shitty private equity moves eg Sears, K-Mart, Toys R Us.
@@brainblaze6526 hijacking this thread to show you this link on 5 trademark failures - www.businessinsider.com/15-ridiculous-trademarking-attempts-2011-4#snooki-lost-the-rights-to-her-nickname-to-a-cartoon-cat-1
Yeah, the CEO of Sears was purposely running it into the ground so he could sell off all of Sears real estate just to stay afloat, meanwhile he also owns a real estate company. How convenient, right?
Honestly maybe Sears doesn’t quite hit exactly the details of the Corporate Darwin Award, but in spirit, it’s somehow more deserving of it than pretty much anyone else.
I watch this show because lets face it, this is one of the better stand up comedy routines out there. I could care less if he ever actually makes it to the 'plot'.
I wanted to dislike your comment... in fact I did. Then I took it back. But I wanted to. It’s like Simon is conditioning us for some long con... Allegedly.
The hardcores: "Yeaaaa, this is the best Simon channel everrrrr!!" Everyone else: comes for business... "WFT is going on here?" The hardcores: "GTFO if you don't like it - and the dislike button is reserved for us so you are not allowed to use it even if you don't like it. We own that dislike button!"
I share this channel all the time and everyone on my Facebook keep asking "why are you telling me to watch this?!" Because we want Danny and Sam to eat! Watch it!!
Sears started out as a small mail order company selling watches and jewelry... and hit the big time with their huge catalogue, whose last fifty pages were patent medicines made of cocaine and heroin No wonder uncle Seamus could work 47 hours straight in a steel mill before starting his part time job swinging a pick axe in the local coal mine
Simon, you forgot about the part where you make a prequel for the entire "Corporate Darwin Awards" series, which ends up being panned by both fans and critics, and then you make a gritty reboot with cocaine and even more cocaine.
Shhhhh! Stop giving away all your great ideas, to the comment section. You gotta time them so they _actually_ might have a "snowball's chance in hell" of happening.😂😂😂
@@thefatnav - That sounds _so_ lewd! 😂 Yet you _didn't_ elaborate?? 😂 Your comment did in fact pop up in my notifications _while_ talking about Trump's facial expressions. Pickled egg about sums it up though. 😂😂😂😂
Hands down you are my absolutely favorite UA-camr Simon! I don’t think you quite realize how funny you are and how awesome your other channels are. thank you so much for your hard work!
@@dewey8526 Yup. I was like "He has like 10+ million subs across his channels?" Though, Thomas is not wrong - or he will be not wrong 20 years from now.
Is it just me? Or does Danny answer Simon, in the script, right after Simon goes down his silly little tirade? When you are on screen, my dislike button doesn’t work. ✌️
It’s actually getting better and better!!! One of their newest videos Danny literally says he’s not gonna waste the time to explain it since he’s sure Simon already did. Simon replies fuck you danny
Do a biographics for Danny on his birthday, and just upload it on here. It’s more related to this channel and is technically business-related because Danny is an integral part of the business that is this channel.
The only thing worse than a series ending on a cliffhanger, being cancelled, leaving you frustrated, is one that begins with the potential of being the best TV series in history, runs out of the source material, based on legendary books, then the snot nosed, bratty producers decide to finish writing the remainder of the story, but they have no idea of the characters arcs or plot points and completely ruin every part of the story, leaving the fans with no realistic ending to a show they invested 8 fucking years in (Wow, that may be the longest run-on-sentence in history). Yes D&D (Dipshit and Dingleberry), I’m looking at you. GOT has to be the greatest implosion of any series in history. Starting with the best first season of any television series in history and ending with the worst final season ever.
What if Simon's diatribe about Raid Shadow Legends was actually the commercial that they paid a large amount of money for, but we just don't know it.....
I love the “free and loose” feel of this channel - I like Simon’s other channels a lot... but this one satisfies my “family guy humor” that Simon does here
Influencers are technically doing something related to business, right? Can we get a video of Business Blaze subtly roasting cringy/sketchy influencers?
@@brainblaze6526 put wifi on the bread maker and sell your own bread dough for 15$ a loaf so the breadmaker has to check if the dough is expired. make sure to call it vegan and plant based.
I actually searched for Theranos merch. I want a Theranos mug to take with me to university. Whenever I will have a lecture again. Sadly there’s no merch.
Isn't Biographics meant to educate people about certain persons‽ Danny Salter could be this person. I like this idea. It would be a nice crossover special for a special day. ua-cam.com/video/DZG0lUXjxfY/v-deo.html
I see this channel as a response to the people who miss and enjoyed the laid back Simon of his old Vlog channel while still keeping with his typical format. I love it!
Honestly believe that 'Shadow Legends' actually knows about Simon's out bursts AND all of us loving this channel. Who would go check them out IF Simon were to have the sponsor BB?? Answer honestly now please...😘
The Milwaukee Brewers used to have a rather good pitcher named Melvin Famie. Before a game he went and had a few beers, not knowing that he would be called on to pitch on his day off. Melvin didn't have much luck on the mound, he walked quite a few players and was pulled from the mound after the manager smelled beer on his breath. Melvin became a laughingstock to the other team, they knew he was drunk. The incident has gone down in baseball history as "Schlitz: The Beer That Made Mel Famie walk us."
I had always assumed Dannys “ biographics” would just be another one-off business blaze episode. For seriously just his work history has led to so many situations,Aquaintences and stories that I don’t understand why it hasn’t happened yet. Ur a great team Charles and Simon, keep it up!
just so you know simon this is the only channel that i actively have watched every episode since it started. long time fan of your work and found you from some of the olden days channels :) i like how happy you are here it makes me happy.
I'm 6 mins in. It sounds like Danny is getting his light in he basement confiscated after this as a punishment. On a lighter note. I met an absolute stranger through friends. They said they were a gamer. I asked what on. They said raid shadow legends. I literally started laughing in their face.
Coming here from being subscribed to TopTenz, I'm pleasantly surprised with how carefree and funny Simon actually is. Fastest I've hit the subscribe button in a long time.
Coming soon to the Corporate Darwin Awards: UA-cam. (Simon reading) "After completing the transition that began with the release of UA-cam TV in 2017, UA-cam achieved their goal of being acquired by Comcast in 2021. From there the platform's deterioration accelerated exponentially as everyone with a modicum of creativity fled like rats off a sinking ship. UA-cam cratered so hard it made the fall of Myspace seem like a pin drop. Gone were there glory days of Mentos and Coke synchronised with music. Less than a year after proudly announcing they were acquiring UA-cam for $53 billion, Comcast sold UA-cam to CBS for less than $100 million."
We are so here for your rants Simon. Its been this way since OGBB Its fun and entertaining. Your the best my guy. YOU make the content fun and more interesting. YOU ARE A Certified LEGEND!! I still think of business blaze and the day i was SO befuddled to see it turn to Brain Blaze. it took some time my friend didnt it for all of us. lmfao. Love ya Simon. I wish well for you your family and all the writers you have in the dungeon. At least now Danny has some friends down there yeah??? Blaze on Fact Boi
Simon: Smash that dislike button Also Simon: produces T-shirts saying ''Smash that dislike button'' Also also Simon: Wears said t-shirt saying ''Smash that dislike button'' Simon: ''I got a lot of dislikes on that last video and i'm not sure why''
This is why I sub to this channel! Instead of falling for the morally corrupt advertisers, just to earn a quick buck, Blaze stick to their principles and fob them off. So many other channels cave in and do RAID promos, sounding exactly the same all the way through because, of course, it's all scripted by the people behind RAID's marketing. "Oh, this is not like other games" and "I've actually played this for a while and...". The exact same phrasing in the exact same order, every single time. All of it individually sounds like the person presenting it actually play the game frequently and endorses it personally, but if you watch only two of those promos, you'll quickly realize it's RAID saying it, not the person. And they don't have to disclose that. It's a way around the current disclosure laws. They just have to disclose it's a paid advertisement, not that the content of that advertisement is entirely false.
Watching you on this channel was my first exposure to any of your content and every time I watch you be serious in another channel it’s just like a fever dream tbh
my favorite thing is seeing artifacts of buisness blaze showing up in simons other channels. I saw him do a “bu dum pst” in a diffrent channel (I think megaprojects) and I nearly lost it
Could you do something on epic fights between companies? Like Aldi and Lidl. Lates Lidl commercial here in germany: "We keep what all the (like Aldi) others promisse."
Simon, I just started watching Brain Blaze episodes, and I must say, this side of you is SO different from Decoding the Unknown and Casual Criminalist. But I love it xD So much crazy yelling and sh*t throwing. Also, I love your crazy long tangents. Even the 10 minute ones. I legit paused the video to share with my husband your hatred of Raid Shadow Legends, because it was so hilarious. Keep it up! I love all of your channels and videos.
When corporate darwinism does occur, the company in question tends to T-pose, bringing their surroundings down with them in their final attempts to assert dominance.
Re: sizes, size 12 in Australia is a reasonably slim size... The Size 0 thing is American vanity sizing. The only clothes you'll find in Australia that are Size zero is for babies under 6 months lol
Australian size 12 is apparently US size 8. So, US size 0, would end up being Australian Size 4. I’ve been US size 0 before, but I think I’m up to a US size 4 now. (Though, I am also now in EU, where the sizes are the actual waste measure, so size 0 would necessarily be sewn shut.) Oh yeah, also. HOLY CRAP, they’re giving a person with a perfectly reasonable weight crap for being big? :grimace:
American women's clothing size 0 is what fashion designers create for their fancy dancy shows. It is an almost impossibly small size for models to wear at the shows which is why they starve themselves or the fashion lines just hire tall slim teenage girls. All this, of course, is why "normal" young women have self-image issues.
In America, for women's clothing the more expensive the brand, the lower the size number for given body measurements. (There's actually some negative size numbers for those in which size zero is too big.) Which basically means the size number doesn't tell you anything, she needs to put the dress on and have a photo taken to tell.
I am sober and have had to rewind it a couple times to keep track of what going on... Love how the "chill daddy" meme was started and then finished a few minutes later with "what the hell is this!" Lol this channel is the best.
I love this channel. At first I liked today I found out more, because it was more to the point. Now I like this more because I like to put it in while I do puzzles and other mindless things. Best channel ever
Took me a second to realise you meant you found the sites by accident, and not that Simon was hosting them by accident 🤣 altho I really like the latter idea ✌❤🇬🇧
Boy with The Blaze vs. Raid Shadow Legends is one of the most rewarding secondary plot lines of the UA-cam-verse.
The Blazestain-RSL war
@@elvi5_40theparakeet_gaming9 Blazestain sounds like a sharting accident.
What is this???
I'm here for it!! 😂🤣😂🤣
Please keep hitting that like button, one of my goals in life is to get Simon to butcher my first name on a Blaze. Thanks for your support OG Blazers.
Ok, I've stumbled onto this channel and I've found the version of Simon I always suspected existed....
Welcome. You legend.
11:22 I'm Super bummed about Sears
When my grandpa died- I said at least there's still Sears- like my car will be ok
My car in not ok anymore he misses Sears too
@@ashleelarsen5002 Take it to a mechanic
Danny is Simon's secret identity, he writes the script himself and in when it's shit, he blames Danny. Allegedly
Plot twist: Simon is actually schizophrenic 😂🤣💀⚰️👻
Allegedly? ^ 🤔🤫
I buy it 🤣🤣🤣
Maybe he has DID and even Sam is Simon. This wife of his? Simon too.
All of these are Simon.
Simon: 'talks about how Biographics talks about dead people' "don't worry Danny, you'll get there eventually."
Presumably once the radiator chain comes loose.
It's nice to come to a channel & know _somebody_ in the comment section thinks _exactly_ the same thing. Even types it all out for you, so you just have hit the 'like' button. Thank you John Smith, great minds think scary things together! 😂😂😂😘
There but for the grace God, go we.
Allegedly.
I'm pretty sure that was a death threat to Danny. #freedanny
@@graham1034 Nah, the radiator is actually Danny's phylactery, so the chains are keeping him from the sweet sweet release of death.
Would I watch a 15 minute sarcastic raid shadow legends ad, knowing that Simon got fat stacks of cash from it?
yeah probably
Hell, I'd watch it twice!
We should get ETA to read it!
@@caseymacdonald878 don't encourage him!
Yeah,...........I wonder how much her earns out of it,...............'allegedly',.........😉😉😉😉😉😄😄😄😄😄😋😋😋😋😋😋😋😋😋😋😋😋😋😋😋He must be a millionaire right now,...........😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄
@@caseymacdonald878 best idea!
Sears also used to make some quality items that would last generations.
They fixed that mistake.
I feel like this episode should have mentioned Sears catalog homes - where you could buy the blueprints and materials to build a house on your own. Lol
@@fancythisgirl3 I didn't know anything about that!
BaldingClamydia right?? It’s a REALLY interesting story. If you listen to podcasts, 99% Invisible with Roman Mars covers the whole thing.
Well, their catalogs only lasted about a month's worth of wipes...
@CrazyCat Lady - The Craftsman warranty was legendary ! Just go into a store with a broken Craftsman tool, and they'd replace it, with no paperwork, or strings. If that tool broke, it could be replaced again, forever !
Simon watches Colony: When is there going to be another season?
Firefly Fans: First time?
At least in Colony the best two side characters weren't killed off in a half-arsed attempt to wrap up some of the loose ends by introducing a new even more secret badass element that's definitely been there from the start.
(spoilers)
I’m still bitter about Firefly 😖
At least firefly did a movie to wrap it up even though it's was a bit of a let down
Dunno, the biggest fault of the movie is that it felt more like the grand finale of the fictitious third season than the proper finale of the show.
Farscape Fans: You kids get off my lawn.
Hey Simon.
OG here.
Have been watching since episode one!
If we should miss a few episodes, we have a blaze marathon!
Stay coked up, remember to look after ETA and remember this week you have to let Danny out to go wash the zebra sex masks again!
Ah yes, the best moment of the year, when the Sears Wishbook would come in the mail and we could start circling all the things we would never get for Christmas
Yes! Right to the toy section, I would circle what I wanted. I still remember the smell of that book. It was the smell of broken dreams on Christmas Day. We also had a book sent to us from a company called Best. It had even more toys in it than Sears.
How could someone dislike this gold
Simon: "smash the dislike button"
Also Simon: *complains about 5% dislikes*
I thought we were supposed to smash that dislike to show approval around here.. Damnit, I've been blazing wrong...
1.5% atm
This one will be better
I "had" to switch my Like to Dislike, I'm from Milwaukee (not on the west coast, not even close. LOL)
I don't really like so... Yeah that's a downvote
Simon: "I don't want to offend anyone'
Also Simon: *constantly takes the piss on anything and everything all the time*
I love you you beautiful bald man
😘
I feel there is a pretty fine line between things its okay to take the piss out of and things its not. Often I cross it, but I try not to be a total knob about it.
@@brainblaze6526 Oh Simon I've never once thought you were a knob. 💞💞
@@brainblaze6526 - No matter what to _try_ to tell us, you'll _never ever_ get anything from the channel, _but_ the love you _all_ deserve. Another sub mentioned, you should consider starting a new channel call it 'Conspiracy Blaze'. You know? _Blaze_ conspiracy theories!💋🇨🇦
Business Blaze Mate you’d fit in perfectly in Australia with that attitude
"Corporate Darwin Awards: The Channel" That's a terrible idea. Do it.
If Simon doesn't do it, I'm going to repeated smash the dislike button
I would not mind seeing a channel devoted to Corporate Darwin Awards.
Perhaps a more in-depth spotlight on a single corporation in every episode?
I’d subscribe and watch that channel! Darwin Awards: Personal and Corporate. I’m in!
Yea, I'm in. When he said maybe a channel I got excited, and then he said, that's a terrible idea...
@Brian Meyers I don't know, they seem to be pissing off the right people.
Loving the ongoing "Peter" jokes, makes me feel special every time!!
Peter Weikert - who says he's joking ?
Peter Weikert - Dude, he gave us _all_ access to _your_ webcam. You know during that live stream, right before he Blazed today. Peek-a-boo we see you! 😂😂😂😂
Digitalhunny DUDE ! DON'T GIVE OUT ALL THE SECRETS !
He's not a Blazebro he might try to tell authorities.
Of course then we could just leak the video of him watching midget porn ...
We know.
Your reaction is priceless every time.
Sears did quite literally sell everything you could want. They even sold houses in kit form delivered in phases so you buy the kit then tell them when your ready for the next batch of parts to be delivered.
Nice.
Yes I have a garage that my father bought from Sears the only things you had to buy were shingles and paint.
Screw the kitchen sink; sears sells the whole house, garage, and a shed out back.
Simon: Believes he insults his veiwers
Me: I was just happy to be included
Hahaha!!!
Are you admitting your _real_ name is Peter? 😂😂😂 Cause, Imma change mine legally & rewatch this video. Why? Cause I'm that bored this summer... covid.😕
👨💻👍
Not only was I included, Simon talked to me directly! #reflectedfame
Reminds me of the abused-sidekick's interview w/ Silicon Valley... "Insults can feel like the compliment of attention being paid"...
Danny has the life experience of an 80 year old. He is a legend
Ryan Otteros An absolute legend.
Allegedly.
I feel like the longer this channel goes on, the greater gets the ratio of sarcastic banter between Danny and Simon to actual content. And I'm all here for it
You've sold me on the idea of a Danny biographics
Could do a Biographics video on Danny but then post it on the BB channel for the 1st of April?
What about a 'Sam's Sarcastic Memology' channel??
They could just do a Business Blaze ep about Danny, Simon, and Sam.
@@bradlemmond - Might that be a bit negative for the channel though?
You forget about superstitions?
You _trying_ to bring them bad luck Bro.?? 😂😂😂
Sears used to sell actually everything. Many of the houses in my town were sold by Sears - basically made like IKEA furniture and shipped for people to assemble themselves. Ordered from a house catalog. In the early 1908-1914.
They actually used to have their own car, the Allstate. I think it was basically a rebadged Nash Rambler.
I own a Sears & roebuck shotgun
A Sears blaze would be great with a deep dive into the catalog which really did have anything....well over an hour...epic blaze
They also had barn kits.
dahp.wa.gov/sites/default/files/SearsRoebuckCoModernFarmBuildingsBarnEquip_1928.pdf
I owned a Sears motorcycle once. Actually it was made by Moto Guzzi.
"Allegedly" is my favorite drinking game!
When are we getting “Corporate Darwin Awards: The Animated Series”?
And we find out that Danny's actually been dead the whole time. Allegedly.
Best idea
Gary Busey to voice E.T.A., and give Danny a voice. Tim Allen perhaps.
Hey Simon, there is ALOT more involved in Sears' crashing that actually might fit the channel. You should do a video on shitty private equity moves eg Sears, K-Mart, Toys R Us.
Brilliant ideas! 👏👏👏👏👏 🤞
Sounds like a recipe for a rage stroke.
Maybe a full dedicated BLAZE. let me see.
@@brainblaze6526 hijacking this thread to show you this link on 5 trademark failures - www.businessinsider.com/15-ridiculous-trademarking-attempts-2011-4#snooki-lost-the-rights-to-her-nickname-to-a-cartoon-cat-1
Yeah, the CEO of Sears was purposely running it into the ground so he could sell off all of Sears real estate just to stay afloat, meanwhile he also owns a real estate company. How convenient, right?
Honestly maybe Sears doesn’t quite hit exactly the details of the Corporate Darwin Award, but in spirit, it’s somehow more deserving of it than pretty much anyone else.
Simon: Mentions not wanting "mistake" to become a meme.
Me: that was a mistake!!
You're not mistaken...
Allegedly.
I watch this show because lets face it, this is one of the better stand up comedy routines out there. I could care less if he ever actually makes it to the 'plot'.
I remember when Sears and K-Mart merged to form the largest bankrupt corporation in existence.
This is Peter just checking in again, I’m watching you too Simon all 29 minutes of you. Keep up the blaze!
Legend!
Business Blaze: SEARing burns for everyone
BA DA BUM BUM TSHSHSHS
@@brainblaze6526 That's exactly why I'm here. No discrimination. Equal 3-D burns for everyone :D
Burning Sears would be a blue light special!
@@InquisMalleus Kmart. Yes it's owned by Sears but Sears never did the "blue light special".
@@andiward7068 Not sure if he did that on purpose or not.
If on purpose, then it's a nice sizzling burn.
Simon: Wonders why so many people are disliking
Also Simon: *SMASH THAT DISLIKE BUTTON*
Also Simon: *Wears T Shirt saying SMASH THAT DISLIKE BUTTON*
I wanted to dislike your comment... in fact I did. Then I took it back. But I wanted to. It’s like Simon is conditioning us for some long con... Allegedly.
@@myusernameisrighther hahahaha reverse psychology at it's finest
Negative attention is still attention
Is that why there's 1.2k on this one... when usually they have like less than 100
The hardcores: "Yeaaaa, this is the best Simon channel everrrrr!!"
Everyone else: comes for business... "WFT is going on here?"
The hardcores: "GTFO if you don't like it - and the dislike button is reserved for us so you are not allowed to use it even if you don't like it. We own that dislike button!"
Feels good to be an Old School Legend
I share this channel all the time and everyone on my Facebook keep asking "why are you telling me to watch this?!" Because we want Danny and Sam to eat! Watch it!!
We own 51% of that dislike button. Allegedly.
@@Boperatrix "Allegedly"
Simon.
1- Buy Theranos.
2- Sell Breadmakers.
3- Win.
YAAAAAS!
Theranos
?
Profit
Theramos flask.
Let's toast with an ice cold Schlitz!
Sears started out as a small mail order company selling watches and jewelry... and hit the big time with their huge catalogue, whose last fifty pages were patent medicines made of cocaine and heroin
No wonder uncle Seamus could work 47 hours straight in a steel mill before starting his part time job swinging a pick axe in the local coal mine
Simon, you forgot about the part where you make a prequel for the entire "Corporate Darwin Awards" series, which ends up being panned by both fans and critics, and then you make a gritty reboot with cocaine and even more cocaine.
Shhhhh! Stop giving away all your great ideas, to the comment section. You gotta time them so they _actually_ might have a "snowball's chance in hell" of happening.😂😂😂
I get the feeling this might be a Star Wars reference that I don't get.
@@brainblaze6526 I'm surprised you caught that! XD
Do the Danny Biographics for April fools day. Itll be great.
That’s what I was thinking when I recalled those comments on past videos.
Was going to say the same thing
Also, a 'Sam's Sarcastic Memology' Biographics! The who, what, why & where to stick them.😂😂😂😂
It need to happen. We've got to know more about his picked egg period!
@@thefatnav - That sounds _so_ lewd! 😂 Yet you _didn't_ elaborate?? 😂 Your comment did in fact pop up in my notifications _while_ talking about Trump's facial expressions. Pickled egg about sums it up though. 😂😂😂😂
We need a "oh god Danny" t shirt
Hands down you are my absolutely favorite UA-camr Simon! I don’t think you quite realize how funny you are and how awesome your other channels are. thank you so much for your hard work!
Simon! The first UA-camr who has
1 MILLION
CHANNELS!!
He had us in the first half not gonna lie
Like a beautiful bald Phoenix hes prepared spare bodies in case this one is no longer corporeal to rise from the ashes of an older channel
@@dewey8526 Yup. I was like "He has like 10+ million subs across his channels?"
Though, Thomas is not wrong - or he will be not wrong 20 years from now.
Hopefully some day named SEARS
Is it just me? Or does Danny answer Simon, in the script, right after Simon goes down his silly little tirade?
When you are on screen, my dislike button doesn’t work. ✌️
It’s actually getting better and better!!! One of their newest videos Danny literally says he’s not gonna waste the time to explain it since he’s sure Simon already did. Simon replies fuck you danny
Do a biographics for Danny on his birthday, and just upload it on here. It’s more related to this channel and is technically business-related because Danny is an integral part of the business that is this channel.
Bio-blaze? Business-graphics?
😳😅
👏👏👏👏👏 🤞 🤗🇨🇦
Christopher Althouse Whatever it’s called , it would be the most epic crossover in history
There's so much shade being thrown at RSL that not even a redhead could get sunburnt.
As a natural redhead I thoroughly appreciate this comment. Lmfao.
The only thing worse than a series ending on a cliffhanger, being cancelled, leaving you frustrated, is one that begins with the potential of being the best TV series in history, runs out of the source material, based on legendary books, then the snot nosed, bratty producers decide to finish writing the remainder of the story, but they have no idea of the characters arcs or plot points and completely ruin every part of the story, leaving the fans with no realistic ending to a show they invested 8 fucking years in (Wow, that may be the longest run-on-sentence in history).
Yes D&D (Dipshit and Dingleberry), I’m looking at you. GOT has to be the greatest implosion of any series in history. Starting with the best first season of any television series in history and ending with the worst final season ever.
Truth ^
OP: *rants about GoT*
Star Trek Enterprise: "You're new here, aren't you ..."
@@azerdraco3146 Star Trek Enterprise was still better than Discovery. Discovery is just some unrelated sci-fi with Star Trek's name on it.
Uhh did ya catch the last episode of “Sopranos”? Made all of America check their cable.
Please do an entire episode on Raid: Shadow Legends being sketchy after they give you full creative freedom
Please do this.
I agree
Ya I want this too!! love a good RAID.....shadow legends ... dissing sess.
Another upvote here. I would have NO issues with you ripping the shit out of them, and having them pay you for the privilege.
I need this in my life.
Sam, your choice of memes is becoming absolute top notch, you legend!
I’ve watched most of your videos on every one of your channels, and this is probably the funniest one. Congrats, on finally peaking.
I'm just waiting for Corporate Darwin Awards: The Animated Series.
Does that come out before or after "The Corporate Darwin Awards: Tokyo Drift"?
I am excited for this.
@@cuttwice3905 It comes out right after Corporate Darwin Awards: The Pre-Sequel. But before Tokyo Drift.
What if Simon's diatribe about Raid Shadow Legends was actually the commercial that they paid a large amount of money for, but we just don't know it.....
When did the rage against Raid Shadow Legends start?
Why did you reveal the secret! Be sure to look around for any errant space heaters when you walk through a dark alley.
Shitception.
I'm actually surprised he didn't sell out for a 5 digit he has full creativity on and stuff, i mean, money......
Raid Shadow Conspiracy.
I cant be the only one who thinks that Raid actually does sponsor Simon and having him crapping on the game is a part of the shtick....allegedly
Simon: I'm going to stick it to Raid Shadow Legends this time.
Raid: I'm going to make him an offer he can't refuse
I only looked up raid cause he shits on it all the time 😂
Do Danny's Biographic for April Fools!
Definitely need a Biographics Episode on Danny. How old is he? Also which ankle is shackled to the radiator?
Why? Why would you want to know that? Are you helping him escape? Simon's gonna be pissed.
Danny gets blamed for more shit than Trump.
I love the “free and loose” feel of this channel - I like Simon’s other channels a lot... but this one satisfies my “family guy humor” that Simon does here
Couldn't agree with you more, my Internet friend.
Don't worry. It seems that Blaze's informality is slowly creeping into his other channels. haha.
The Simon whistler show podcast is great too!
@@rhinoproof - Wait, WHAT???? Are you for real? Gotta link?
@@Digitalhunny he has a few podcasts. I download from Podcast addict. The Simon whistler show and the brainfood podcast.
business blaze idea: The Companies that have gon Bankrupt the Most Times
That sounds like a very entertaining trainwreck. Hope Simon considers it.
6:00 - Chapter 1 - Sears
12:45 - Chapter 2 - Schlitz beers
17:15 - Chapter 3 - Gasp
22:40 - Chapter 4 - Sharper image
25:50 - Chapter 5 - WT Grant
When I'm trying to tell my friends a joke from the blaze I feel like I'm in a cult since nothing makes sense
Ikr?! 😂😂
All hail Charles, Lord ETA. He who keeps us warm, and tells us the truth about Bitcoin and the Reptilian Overlords.
One day when everyone watches the Blaze you will be the hero they deserve.
@@brainblaze6526 hey Simon... Wanna go have a cup of coffee? I got this business idea...
Influencers are technically doing something related to business, right? Can we get a video of Business Blaze subtly roasting cringy/sketchy influencers?
Yes! Please!!!!
Yes, this ^
Let's face it: this is The Schadenfreude Channel, and we're here for it.
This would be an alegendary blaze.
Sounds good.
I remember those Sears catalogues, my grandparents always got them. They were MASSIVE.
"A whole range of Theronos merch" - Is Simon thinking of going into breadmakers?
Sentient bread makers.
@@brainblaze6526 Hmmm I'd definitely give that a go. Especially if it called me a cockwomble intermittently.
I hope we get a free blood test with each purchase
@@brainblaze6526 put wifi on the bread maker and sell your own bread dough for 15$ a loaf so the breadmaker has to check if the dough is expired. make sure to call it vegan and plant based.
I actually searched for Theranos merch. I want a Theranos mug to take with me to university. Whenever I will have a lecture again.
Sadly there’s no merch.
Do Danny's Biographics on April 1st. We legends will love it and the normies will think it's just an April Fools' Day joke.
Isn't Biographics meant to educate people about certain persons‽ Danny Salter could be this person.
I like this idea. It would be a nice crossover special for a special day.
ua-cam.com/video/DZG0lUXjxfY/v-deo.html
That’s just good planning
I see this channel as a response to the people who miss and enjoyed the laid back Simon of his old Vlog channel while still keeping with his typical format. I love it!
It's nice the Simon enjoys his slow decent into an insane show host.
The fabaled ... Downward spiral
Adds another to my list
- Business blaze
- Knowledge hub
- Emplemon
I think you could totally do a “Darwin Award” channel. Expect in each video you do it for different topics instead of just business.
Agreed
And people I just grabbed a fork to eat ice cream
@@griffensolomon554 I don’t even use spoons anymore
I think he should get the facts for the donut news network
@@griffensolomon554 Blasphemy.
It’s great to get to know you better. Have watched your other channels forever. You really get to show your character on this format.
RAGE: Simons' Legends
Now with 200% more cocaine
BLAZE; Sarcastic Legends
Honestly believe that 'Shadow Legends' actually knows about Simon's out bursts AND all of us loving this channel. Who would go check them out IF Simon were to have the sponsor BB?? Answer honestly now please...😘
Nick Kropat this would be a great merch item.
Shlitz beer: we made milwakee famous
Jefery Dhamer: hold my shlitz.
😂 underrated comment
The Milwaukee Brewers used to have a rather good pitcher named Melvin Famie. Before a game he went and had a few beers, not knowing that he would be called on to pitch on his day off. Melvin didn't have much luck on the mound, he walked quite a few players and was pulled from the mound after the manager smelled beer on his breath. Melvin became a laughingstock to the other team, they knew he was drunk. The incident has gone down in baseball history as "Schlitz: The Beer That Made Mel Famie walk us."
You mean “Schlitz”.
@@lindajevans1514 probably, but given I had to guess by sound alone I think my attempt wasn't too bad.
Shaun holland oh that’s okay - I’m old and was born and raised in Racine, just south of Milwaukee.
In no way am I attempting to ingratiate myself, but Simon is LEGEND. The only reason I checked out this channel. Keep up the 10 minute intro!
I had always assumed Dannys “ biographics” would just be another one-off business blaze episode. For seriously just his work history has led to so many situations,Aquaintences and stories that I don’t understand why it hasn’t happened yet. Ur a great team Charles and Simon, keep it up!
"Cockwomble"
I love that little guy
It's a quality insult that needs mors use!
just so you know simon this is the only channel that i actively have watched every episode since it started. long time fan of your work and found you from some of the olden days channels :) i like how happy you are here it makes me happy.
Legend.
@@brainblaze6526 this still makes me happy XD
I'm 6 mins in. It sounds like Danny is getting his light in he basement confiscated after this as a punishment.
On a lighter note. I met an absolute stranger through friends. They said they were a gamer. I asked what on. They said raid shadow legends. I literally started laughing in their face.
You had a flashback of watching Simon & Danny shred it to bits on here, didn't you? 😆😆😆
Yes!!! 🤣🤣☠️☠️
🤣
Yessss more balze with Simon!!! And Darwin awards are the best hahaha. Truly the best memes 🤣 alLEGENDly
Coming here from being subscribed to TopTenz, I'm pleasantly surprised with how carefree and funny Simon actually is. Fastest I've hit the subscribe button in a long time.
I love the fact that he can be serious on one channel, and completely lose the plot on this channel 🤣🤣
Simon,......................a professional actor,............"allegedly",...........😆😆😆😆😆😆😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩😗😗😗😗😗😗
I like to think we're Simon's favorite channel. His little baby blazers.
Or full grown Blazer sitting in their underwear in front of their computer in a dark room, blazing.
Big Daddy Blaze
@Manjushri Chill Daddy
...we're... Sorry, I couldn't help it.
@@tylerjackson4168 🤣🤣 oops!
People thst smash the dislike button because of Simon's tangents are missing out. The tangents just make the facts all the more enjoyable!
Doesn't want the 'MIIISTAAAAAKE!' To become a meme... simon. You're late, you have already become meme-generating meme.
Coming soon, the UA-cam Darwin Awards.
Coming soon to the Corporate Darwin Awards: UA-cam. (Simon reading) "After completing the transition that began with the release of UA-cam TV in 2017, UA-cam achieved their goal of being acquired by Comcast in 2021. From there the platform's deterioration accelerated exponentially as everyone with a modicum of creativity fled like rats off a sinking ship. UA-cam cratered so hard it made the fall of Myspace seem like a pin drop. Gone were there glory days of Mentos and Coke synchronised with music. Less than a year after proudly announcing they were acquiring UA-cam for $53 billion, Comcast sold UA-cam to CBS for less than $100 million."
UA-cam is its own Darwinian nightmare.
@@stephenwright8824 To quote another story about media fulfilling every desire you don't want: "D E M O N S F R O M T H E I D..."
Only if Simon hosts
*sigh* Looks like I need to reset the sign again.
"It has been _0_ days since Simon threatened to start another channel."
We are so here for your rants Simon. Its been this way since OGBB Its fun and entertaining. Your the best my guy. YOU make the content fun and more interesting. YOU ARE A Certified LEGEND!! I still think of business blaze and the day i was SO befuddled to see it turn to Brain Blaze. it took some time my friend didnt it for all of us. lmfao. Love ya Simon. I wish well for you your family and all the writers you have in the dungeon. At least now Danny has some friends down there yeah???
Blaze on Fact Boi
Simon: Smash that dislike button
Also Simon: produces T-shirts saying ''Smash that dislike button''
Also also Simon: Wears said t-shirt saying ''Smash that dislike button''
Simon: ''I got a lot of dislikes on that last video and i'm not sure why''
"Cockwomble."
Which sounds like a story he would read on corporate darwin awards.
Also Simon: Sneaks in "Smash that dislike button" on other channels
I love Blaze Simon... moderately like him on his other channels...
Let us Blaze all day!!
legend. The blaze is the best me.
This is why I sub to this channel!
Instead of falling for the morally corrupt advertisers, just to earn a quick buck, Blaze stick to their principles and fob them off.
So many other channels cave in and do RAID promos, sounding exactly the same all the way through because, of course, it's all scripted by the people behind RAID's marketing. "Oh, this is not like other games" and "I've actually played this for a while and...". The exact same phrasing in the exact same order, every single time. All of it individually sounds like the person presenting it actually play the game frequently and endorses it personally, but if you watch only two of those promos, you'll quickly realize it's RAID saying it, not the person.
And they don't have to disclose that. It's a way around the current disclosure laws. They just have to disclose it's a paid advertisement, not that the content of that advertisement is entirely false.
Enron had never actually paid for their logo/tm, so the original artist sold it when Enron went PMITAFP
Simon has always radiated Chaotic Librarian energy. But he’s really outdoing himself on this channel. Lol, I love it!
Watching you on this channel was my first exposure to any of your content and every time I watch you be serious in another channel it’s just like a fever dream tbh
my favorite thing is seeing artifacts of buisness blaze showing up in simons other channels. I saw him do a “bu dum pst” in a diffrent channel (I think megaprojects) and I nearly lost it
It's those inside jokes, comedy & self awareness that make _this_ channel, the _bestest_ on UA-cam!
I did notice the demeanor in his other channels starting crack...I want them all to have a splash of blaze but only once or twice an episode.
Little Easter eggs there for you legend :D
What's even better is artifacts showing up in everyday life...
I just realized my Bluetooth device for my Jeep has etas voice when pairing lmfao
ETA is everywhere.
Could you do something on epic fights between companies? Like Aldi and Lidl. Lates Lidl commercial here in germany: "We keep what all the (like Aldi) others promisse."
This is actually a good idea.
Allegedly
Stuff like the psychopathic Wendy's media presence.
Simon, I just started watching Brain Blaze episodes, and I must say, this side of you is SO different from Decoding the Unknown and Casual Criminalist. But I love it xD So much crazy yelling and sh*t throwing. Also, I love your crazy long tangents. Even the 10 minute ones. I legit paused the video to share with my husband your hatred of Raid Shadow Legends, because it was so hilarious. Keep it up! I love all of your channels and videos.
When corporate darwinism does occur, the company in question tends to T-pose, bringing their surroundings down with them in their final attempts to assert dominance.
Simon: "& I don't want to offend anyone" Me: Since when???
#cancelsimon
#cancelcharles
To quote some other guy: ‘Business Blaze: Where I come to learn about business, don’t learn anything, and get insulted.’
That's the first thought I had, too lol
Priority #1: Venting
Priority #2: $$$$$$
Priority #85 INFOTAINMENT
This is your best channel yet. You are hilarious Mr. Whistler, love the impromptu-esc format.
Re: sizes, size 12 in Australia is a reasonably slim size... The Size 0 thing is American vanity sizing. The only clothes you'll find in Australia that are Size zero is for babies under 6 months lol
Also, 19:58
Supré is an Australian fashion retailer (budget-middle class) and the locals pronounce it 'soo-prey.'
The average American woman wears a size 14.
Australian size 12 is apparently US size 8. So, US size 0, would end up being Australian Size 4.
I’ve been US size 0 before, but I think I’m up to a US size 4 now. (Though, I am also now in EU, where the sizes are the actual waste measure, so size 0 would necessarily be sewn shut.)
Oh yeah, also. HOLY CRAP, they’re giving a person with a perfectly reasonable weight crap for being big? :grimace:
American women's clothing size 0 is what fashion designers create for their fancy dancy shows. It is an almost impossibly small size for models to wear at the shows which is why they starve themselves or the fashion lines just hire tall slim teenage girls. All this, of course, is why "normal" young women have self-image issues.
In America, for women's clothing the more expensive the brand, the lower the size number for given body measurements. (There's actually some negative size numbers for those in which size zero is too big.) Which basically means the size number doesn't tell you anything, she needs to put the dress on and have a photo taken to tell.
The most anticipated sequel in the history of history
I love that outta 200k subscribers, i remember being one of the first 1k to subscribe! I love ur podcast too, si, and yes the phill/siri is back!
I laugh internally every time Simon calls himself "the boy with the blaze"
can't believe he said it was an unfortunate name. Broke my heart
I'm so stoned listening to this intro I rewound it five times in a row wondering "what is going on?" before realizing nothing was going on.
Rastas Bohanan - 😂😂 Sharing _is_ caring, ya know?! 😂😂
Disappointed you said stoned when the blazed pun was right there waiting
legend.
I am sober and have had to rewind it a couple times to keep track of what going on... Love how the "chill daddy" meme was started and then finished a few minutes later with "what the hell is this!" Lol this channel is the best.
This is the best of all of the channels, I almost cant enjoy the other ones due to the distinct lack of " Blaze "
... Almost.
The vibrating chair example edit had me rolling lmao
That chair @22:50 is 'merch I'd perch' for the office! 😂😂😂😂😂
For sure. I had to rewind to see it again because I could not believe it 😂
Charles was so quiet because he's plotting the downfall of all the heretical non space heaters.
I love this channel. At first I liked today I found out more, because it was more to the point. Now I like this more because I like to put it in while I do puzzles and other mindless things. Best channel ever
I have somehow found multiple channels with you hosting on accident.
Excellent.
As have I, and it's a pleasant surprise every time
It took me a while to realize they were multiple channels and not just a VERY eclectic style channel
Yes... accident. The algorithm had nothing to do with it.
Took me a second to realise you meant you found the sites by accident, and not that Simon was hosting them by accident 🤣 altho I really like the latter idea ✌❤🇬🇧