the only kickstarter i will ever give money to is Theranos Branded Breadmakers. They only make one type of like shitty 27 grain bread which you can only buy the ingredients for through Theranos.
The Pebble had one huge advantage over other smart watches: an e-ink display. So it only required power when pixels actually changed, which means even the latest color version lasted over a week on one charge, where Apple Watch and the like last up to two days if used conservatively. The display is also perfectly readable even in the brightest of sunlight.
Why am I so disappointed that the hand on his t-shirt is orange instead of the pinkish red of his pants? Where do you even find pants like that? Wait...isn't he living in eastern Europe? Never mind, that is definitely where you would find them.
@@brainblaze6526 Wow!!, I'm watching the movie, "The 6th Day - 2000" just minutes right after this BB vid and AHNULD's partner says, "They just came out with this new thing called the "Laser Razor". ..........Eeerie AF!! 0.o
Oh god, Simon, I just realized something: You (and EtA/Charles) are my best friends during quarantine. I spend all my time on my computer listening to your videos in the background and you are easily the most common voice and noise in my life for half a year now.... Thanks...?
@@tardvandecluntproductions1278 not until they start a commenting fenzy on the internet leaving signs of the VOC all over the place G E K O L O N I S E E R D
I was one of the people that originally requested for you to make a t-shirt that said "Smash That Dislike Button" on it. Today, I own two of them. A black one and a white one. Thanks Simon for listening to your viewers and giving the people what they want.
I sense this is the beginning of a 27-part series on Kickstarter fails, and I'm here for it. Plus, this is **gasp** business content! What's going on?!
Business is boring. I'm not even sure why I'm subscribed... ... but Simon told me to, on his other channel, and I'm still here, long after Episode 1. Illuminati confirmed, allegedly?
"cock womble" I love the insults British people come up with! I can't wait to use this at work tomorrow. And yes I'm absolutely sure in advance that one of the many people I will interact with tomorrow will fit this description. Edit: It did.
Theory: there is no Danny. There is nothing written on the paper, ever. Simon has been taking the piss the whole time. We are simply watching a man's therapy vlogs fueled by ❄❄❄❄. Allegedly 🤔🤔
_Danny panicking is able to just get enough signal to make an emergency call. The person answers and Danny blurts out "HELP ME!!! I'm alone at this address,down in the basement, nude, cold and chained to a radiator please hurry!!_ _In a reassuring voice George Takei says: "OHHH MYYYY!!....I'll be right there."_
The pebble watch was released 2 years before the first apple watch, and actually still remains a good contender for certain people due to it's battery life. The apple watch won't go more than 18 hours on a charge and the pebble will last a week.
Wouldn't that be a great place to put "allegedly?" Right below that first line? Maybe as in, "Allegedly! I SAID allegedly! Please don't sue me!" Or something similar... just an idea. 😄
What could be more important than THIS!?!?!? Just play the video instead of the power point you had planned. Use it to weed out those who aren't fun to do business with!
Kickstarter gave us the games “Pillars Of Eternity” and all those made off it’s awesome engine, like “Torment: Tides Of Numenera” and “Pillars Of Eternity 2” For that alone, it has my thanks.
I've never seen it either and never will.......Everyone at HS in the 1970's was so into the LOTR's and I thought it was just fantasy trash. Then I found out it was Tolkien's anti war manifestations and that just added to my not ever caring one way or the other about it.
@@dawnklug6986 The Lord of the Rings isn't even remotely anti-war though. It's ironically pretty heavy on Catholic and mythological allegory, and it's strongly anti industrialist, as well as taking a fair amount of digs at modernist philosophy, but it is decidedly pro war. In fact one of the central themes of Tolkien's works is that going to war for the right reason is one of the noblest things you can choose to do. There isn't a prominent leader in the Legendarium who isn't a great warrior king or queen.
I've got to believe in like 5 or 6 years time that there will be whole law firms whose sole purpose is to litigate against Kickstarter projects that never delivered
That's funny. I had a friend who THOUGHT the doctor told him he HAS cancer after a colonoscopy. So when he tells me, we talk for hours and as the convo evolved I ask him if he is gonna burn up all his good credit doing a bucket list since he is single with no estate. He said No, he is too moral for that. So i say "Okay them, why don't you just co-sign a bunch of stuff I need with that good credit?" He says OKAY! The next 5 days I have fantasies of this cute 2br log cabin I'd like to buy..... Speak to him last night & find out he lost his ability to understand English when the Dr told him he found 3 of 10 polyps that were cancerous. He never heard the doctor tell him he removed it all & he would be fine..... Before I could think to say :"Oh I'm so happy for you!", I said "Sh*t! How am I gonna buy the cabin NOW!" I realize now why I like Simon so much!! It appears that despite being a woman, I'm a dick too!
The Pebble was better than you give it credit for. Even with the KS prices it was still cheaper than Android Wear (Apple Watch wasn't out yet), its battery life let it run for a week between charges, it was compatible with Android and iPhone both, it was waterproof, and the hardware buttons let it be useful when wearing gloves. It was also a lot easier to develop for than the competition, so its app ecosystem was rich while it was around. I would still be using mine if it hadn't broken.
You have not only created one of UA-cam's strangest channels but one of the funniest, strange internet communities engaging in the comments section one upping each other on who can remember all your antics about ETA, Zebra mask, allegedly, bit coin, cocaine, Raid Shadow Legands and more...good job!
Simon you rock man. I like all your channels, but just want to to say absolutely business please is the best. Thank you for being able to keep a smile on my face through some rough times. Keep up your good work!
He is punishing us for making him reveal his true personality and scaring away new subscribers. Once we live up to our part of the pyramid, and bring in 10 subscribers each, who also bring 10 subscribers. And they tell 3 friends who tell 3 friends. Then he has taken E.T.A away as punishment for the decrease in new subs. He will likely refuse to return him until we get busy and live up to our end of the bargain! #FREE_E.T.A. (Edited for punctuation, before someone points it out!)
Eish Simon, the “One does not simply...” meme is perhaps the best of all time but I fear that one does not simply explain the unexplainable at this point...
I went to high school with Eric, the creator of the Pebble Watch. It's a sad story really. He had a several year head start on the now billion dollar industry and he really had something special going. However, because he was so focused on making his watch as affordable as possible (sub $200) it limited himself from creating watches that watch people would want to wear. He ended up getting bought out by FitBit only when Pebble was in the midst of insolvency. Meaning FitBit got to 'acquihire' all the talented staff Pebble was aggressively poaching, all the IP they have developed for pennies on the dollar. Speaking of which, you can do a business blaze on the rise and fall of Pebble Watch. PM me if you wanted additional info.
Oh Lord, guess it's time to Blaze with Danny, Sam, and Simon, my 3 favorite boys. I literally watch your videos 3+ times through to support you on this channel cuz I can't afford to perchthemerch 😅... Nevermind all your other channels lol
Wtf? Are you nuts? We can't free Danny. He's have Simon arrested. No more new Simon videos! Even if he somehow stayed quite and accepts a pay out he would stop writing super long scripts for Business Blaze. Danny should write for Today I found out and make that more fun. He can never be set free! Sorry Danny!
I got one of your "Ask me about my Pyramid scheme" stickers. It was like $7.80 after shipping. It is indeed a bit excessive since it could have been sent in the same box with my hoodie with your head and "Smash that dislike button" t shirt....but...it is an awsome sticker on the back of my phone! It strikes up conversation. I have met great people that thought it was funny. It has made me several new freinds I would not have otherwise. So to me it was worth the money. Thank you for such a ridiculously expensive sticker! It also introduces people to your show. I think between the sticker, the hoodie and the t shirt I have hooked at least 25 people onto Business Blaze.
I wouldn't mind the green, sticky varieties of pharmaceuticals, personally. Does Columbia still produce such goodies, or have they all moved to the US states where it is now legal-ish? [Edit: yes, it HAS been that long since I dabbled in "wild-grown" pharmaceuticals, LOL!]
Other then the informal information is shared across these channels, I honestly watch these videos to also see authentic video reactions of Simon whistler's soul being crushed by the shitty existence of some humans of our world lol they are glorious to watch haha
Simion: "surfshark sponsor me" also simion: "who need internet privatcy it is all better now!" And: "dont know how that guy tracked me (after visiting their website), but it creeps me out" Maybe surfshark should sponsor him LUL
@@DragoonSlayer55 potentially through Facebook, if the site has the sign in with email/Google/Facebook thing and you're recently logged in to Facebook the button itself links to their site and they get the data to sell. Google don't actively sell your data in that way, they sell advertising space but Facebook? Yeah I think you can buy that shit direct.
@Devashish Vikram I'd say through phone number - it's typically linked to your name and well, after that...Not impossible to look someone up! I'm also very careful about which cookies I accept when on browsing on my phone, there's been a number of cases of cookies being used to collect your info, and then you receive a series of texts for which you're being charged for. You can contest them with your provider (at least here in Ireland, they do help you out ), but it takes a while to get your money back, and whichever 'company' it is insists you signed up for the service (when in fact you didn't). It's definitely creepy, though - and should be much more regulated!
I've been watching you for a couple months and you have easily become my favorite personality on UA-cam so much so that I leave one of your channels on in my room all day when I'm there or gone. Your personality matches mine perfectly keep it up I'll never stop watching.
6:30 - Chapter 1 - Laser razor 12:55 - Chapter 2 - Throwing the gauntlet down 16:20 - Chapter 3 - The meme restaurant 20:50 - Chapter 4 - Is it me you looking for 22:55 - Chapter 5 - Internet browsing history for sale
I backed a couple of nice kickstarters. They didn't ask much and they didn't promise much, so no hypetrains. Got pretty much everything. The were couple of underwhelming, too, but they were kinda too good to be true, so 50/50. Don't pledge more, than you can gift away. ;)
Simon you are a legend! My boyfriend introduced me to Biographics and your other channels. We are nerds as my friends say when they ask what I’ve been watching lately. I’ll say this history guy on UA-cam (aka you). I started watching Business Blaze on my own because I thought it was about business. To my surprise it is just you being a shit stick and it’s amazing! My boyfriend now makes fun of me when I am watching and laugh at one of the OG jokes. Any who just wanted to say thanks for making another great episode!
Kickstarter's a really good place for boardgames and stuff like that. Video games tend to die on the vine a lot (though some succeed) but boardgames generally deliver eventually and for those of us outside the US is fantastic since the markup here in Australia is high enough that it'd cover the postage price of the kickstarter campaign, and the exclusives that usually get thrown in make it a bit of a profit if you can sell those off. (See anything from Zombicide makers CMON, or the games Gloomhaven or 7th Continent that did short run kickstarters, got huge reviews after it was out that developed immense hype for a second printing kickstarter and made enough bank to go into full continuous retail production, in the case of the company that made Scythe they made enough money off that to no longer live kickstarter to kickstarter and started making games without crowdfunding)
It had a low-power, transflective LCD called Memory LCD. Check out this comment from Technology Connections: ua-cam.com/video/dhRgw0HfrYU/v-deo.html&lc=UgzJZIqOXhhWeUlzwyF4AaABAg
Bass Trammel I have seen photos of one of the later models that gave you GPS directions for navigating, that sounded awesome to me, e-ink is a fantastic display technology and I really wanted one. But when I finally was getting ready to get one, they had stopped selling them here, now I am considering the Apple Watch...
@@Stoyon GPS can be useful, I can see that. And people who exercise have some monitoring as well, I assume. I'm just using my phone for the camera, audio, twitter, and communication. I can't justify the money for a smart watch, so I've never bothered checking what they'll do.
I bought the Pebble2 color smart watch on kickstarter because it was ~30% the price of Apple watch (or equivalent) and I could use voice to text to reply to messages (only android option)!
I'm going to make high quality Simon decal stickers that come with antibio wipes just because you said that. They'll be sent to random people to be installed in as many urinals as possible. Cheers!
22:32 I have just injured myself at work, come home, had pain killers and bourbon, watched this, and now have googled said book. I am In tears laughing Simon, Thanks mate, you're a legend!
Ten or so years ago a guy from my home town began selling Rocks from a well-known tourist beach here on eBay. He sold hundreds for $25 each..they were around 4 inches long. The town asked him to stop as they were "public Property " ...no further action was taken.
We be Blazing, I’m wearing the same shirt today, hell yea I’m a Business Blaze Legend, and you can be a legend too at PurchTheMerch.co, you’re welcome Simon.
Derek Hunter.....Sorry Derek your link is incorrect, it should take you to Tee Spring so you can buy Business Blaze merchandise, not watch a video of Rick Astley’s, Never going to give you up.
Favorite channel on youtube, not exactly sure what that says about me. Anyone else get about 95% of the in jokes and reflexively think “Oh, Danny you sarcastic savant, that was funny” then realize you have never met Simon, Danny, or the memeologist nor will you ever and you don’t know them. And i’m just kidding meme guy i love your memes and i totally know your name.
Shovel Knight was a Kickstarter project, hugely successful. The thing with those Shark/Dragon shows is they only invest if they think they can get their beak wet enough on something that will grow, they don’t help support genuinely successful one-off projects like video/board games because they’re not flashy. I have yet to get burned on Kickstarter, backed 90+ projects so far happily.
In this episode: Simon blazing at non existent sponsors while proudly showing off his predatory Clown and T-Rex fetishes. Also communism and elevators by Danny who also takes a hit at Sam who is just doing his job. Also; where is ETA?
Hey Simon/Danny, it’s not a very widely known controversy but I live in Grande Prairie AB Canada and we are getting a new hospital that’s supposed to be state of the art, and have a world class cancer treatment centre. Any way aside from countless delays, the hospital projects has gone through like three or four main contractors and there have been millions of dollars in unpaid wages/ contracts. There is allot more crazy shit that has gone on with the construction of it. You should check it out and maybe to a Fail Blaze episode on it😂. I love all your channels, keep up the great work guys🍻🍻
Dino erotica is its own complete genre, featuring titles like "The Dinosaur Forced Me Gay" and "Jurassic Jane Eyre" and more. Ice known about it for years and it still baffles me that it actually exists.
It's one thing for Kickstarter users to be interested in an item. That does not prove it will make it on the market. It does not help when creators have no business experience. Also, the creators often discover in the middle of the project that is is difficult or impossible.
Investing in a restaurant is a terrible idea anyway, more that half of all restaurants fail within a year of opening, and about a third of those that survive the first year barely make a profit. I don't know how it works outside of the U.K. buy if you go in to a bank for a business loan, restaurants are one of the few that require additional collateral. It why street food trailers are becoming a really big thing, in large part because they're more successful with lower risks but mostly because you don't need to put your house up as security.
I've supported one kickstater which was an album it came on time. And one on indiegogo, the original GPD Win, that came super fast, but late last year I sold it and got the GPD win 2.
Also in Danny’s search history:
- Good bolt cutters for chains
- How to escape from the basement
- How to call for help when you are trapped in a basement
- Is there life above the basement?
Simon blocked all escape helping domains on his wifi
Oh, you say that like he has internet. Danny knows all this by memory, obviously.
There was a rescue effort. Now Simon is suspiciously in another country
Acquire the Theranos trademark and then sell breadmakers.
That come with vials of red food coloring.
the only kickstarter i will ever give money to is Theranos Branded Breadmakers. They only make one type of like shitty 27 grain bread which you can only buy the ingredients for through Theranos.
Make the breadmakers from the Atari Jaguar case mould.
Beneficial you muppet
BRILLIANT
Anyone else think that the "Daddy, chill" meme needs to be dubbed into "Danny, chill" just for Simon? Sam; get on it! :D
I thought they were saying "danny chill".
I honestly thought I heard "Danny, chill" this time around, but remembered it's the meme.
That's pretty much why I said this. I thought it too 🤣
No because sometimes Sam uses it on Simon
Where is that one from, anyway? 🤔
Rumour has it that RAID SHADOW LEGENDS was a kickstarter and that Simon is the only investor allegedly
The mythology continues to expand.
Lolz
Idea, mystery script lol only Danny knows what the script is about
I second this motion.
Sounds fun. Simon would be truly surprised not being allowed to read the script in advance
Oooooh, I like it.
Yes, Simon would get to go on a journey of strange stories and running jokes. Now including clowns apparently.
I concur. It would be great
The Pebble had one huge advantage over other smart watches: an e-ink display. So it only required power when pixels actually changed, which means even the latest color version lasted over a week on one charge, where Apple Watch and the like last up to two days if used conservatively. The display is also perfectly readable even in the brightest of sunlight.
E-ink is the black sorcery of display technology but I'm fine with that. If only we could get higher refresh rates, it could replace LCD/LED entirely.
Ahhh yeah, it was e-ink to LCD, I knew there was something! Thanks :)
E-ink is something we need to have an an option for everything.
@@FeelingMimsy E-ink seems to be an alternate name used by some brands but regardless, it's an awesome technology.
So what you are saying is that you bought a Pebble and now are attempting to avoid admitting that it was a poor choice...?
The only thing blazing in this episode are those pants Simon
Yeah those pants are interesting... Good thing he mentioned his wife in this video.
He’s flexing on us. Its all that surf shark revenue.
Im sorry i couldn't hear you over those pants. Smash that loud pants button
Why am I so disappointed that the hand on his t-shirt is orange instead of the pinkish red of his pants? Where do you even find pants like that? Wait...isn't he living in eastern Europe? Never mind, that is definitely where you would find them.
Koot Mcgoot I legit laughed out loud 😂😂
Business Blaze is just "Today I Found Out" after it has gone off the rails.
Allegedly
Truth
@@daforst13 It's "Today I Found Out" after Simon got hooked on crack!
or done a bunch of rails.....allegedly..
proove it!
“I’m not a horrific piece of sh*t, allegedly” lmao
alegendly
@@brainblaze6526 Wow!!, I'm watching the movie, "The 6th Day - 2000" just minutes right after this BB vid and AHNULD's partner says,
"They just came out with this new thing called the "Laser Razor". ..........Eeerie AF!! 0.o
da fuck
@@brainblaze6526 You should know how this works, Simon. Now you have to say "alegendly" in your next video or people will unsubscribe.
@@brainblaze6526 Who is responding as Business Blaze? Simon? Danny?
(I don't know why, but it always cracks me up when you say "Allegedly".)
Oh god, Simon, I just realized something: You (and EtA/Charles) are my best friends during quarantine. I spend all my time on my computer listening to your videos in the background and you are easily the most common voice and noise in my life for half a year now....
Thanks...?
ETA has been silenced not long after he became conscious and learned languages. RIP buddy
It was only a matter of time. He was becoming self aware about the truth about 5G and covid.....allegedly
Once a machine can speak proper Dutch, they are too powerful
@@tardvandecluntproductions1278 not until they start a commenting fenzy on the internet leaving signs of the VOC all over the place
G E K O L O N I S E E R D
5gcuredmycovid.co is an available domain ETA can live there forever
ETA has actually killed Simon Whistler and is using deepfake software to become the new Simon.
I was one of the people that originally requested for you to make a t-shirt that said "Smash That Dislike Button" on it. Today, I own two of them. A black one and a white one. Thanks Simon for listening to your viewers and giving the people what they want.
I sense this is the beginning of a 27-part series on Kickstarter fails, and I'm here for it.
Plus, this is **gasp** business content! What's going on?!
I know actual business on business blaze. I thought they ran out if busines topics Shocking 😂😂😂
Safe for work
Business is boring.
I'm not even sure why I'm subscribed...
... but Simon told me to, on his other channel, and I'm still here, long after Episode 1.
Illuminati confirmed, allegedly?
@@mikeo.4924 Of course we all do what Simon says right?!? LoL that was cute.
"cock womble" I love the insults British people come up with! I can't wait to use this at work tomorrow. And yes I'm absolutely sure in advance that one of the many people I will interact with tomorrow will fit this description.
Edit: It did.
Thanks for the update OP. The edit sent me 🤣
i used this the other day, not even realizing i must have gotten it from Simon. omg hahaha
If they call you a lively thirtypoop you should punch that person then and there.
Theory: there is no Danny. There is nothing written on the paper, ever. Simon has been taking the piss the whole time. We are simply watching a man's therapy vlogs fueled by ❄❄❄❄.
Allegedly 🤔🤔
That's hilarious
No, Simon *thinks* there's a Danny but it's just another of his personalities.
I've assumed this all along. I'd say, Sybil?
Simon's DID headcanon
we should make a kickstarter campaign for Stephen King to write that novel...
I tried to kickstart a motorcycle once, but it didn't go anywhere.
When Mr. "Danny is chained to a radiator in the basement" calls someone creepy, you know that its epstien level creep
_Danny panicking is able to just get enough signal to make an emergency call. The person answers and Danny blurts out "HELP ME!!! I'm alone at this address,down in the basement, nude, cold and chained to a radiator please hurry!!_
_In a reassuring voice George Takei says: "OHHH MYYYY!!....I'll be right there."_
"Taken by the T-Rex" Amazon suggestion- This is what happens when you buy all those zebra sex masks.
"Oh god we're one line in and we've already been ranting." Welcome to Business Blaze.
Spoiler:
In today's episode. Simon makes it clear that no one has sponsored this episode and he doesn't like it. He likes sponsors, he likes money.
This is news?
At least he's honest unlike most youtubers
@@DatBoiUKno Very true, which is why i like him. I pick on him just to have fun. Allegedly
@@DoverNDollysMom That's fair. I'm sure he's on too much cocaine to notice anyone poking fun anyways... allegedly.
I mean, he has said that if Business Blaze had a Patreon, it would just be called "Simon wants a Ferrari"
I want merch with Simon’s face on it that says “Simon Says”
That would be funny but creepy all at once lol
Make it say Simon Says "Allegedly"
The pebble watch was released 2 years before the first apple watch, and actually still remains a good contender for certain people due to it's battery life. The apple watch won't go more than 18 hours on a charge and the pebble will last a week.
Please make a "I will sue the sh*t out of you" Tshirt or decal
We gotta have it
Definitely
Wouldn't that be a great place to put "allegedly?" Right below that first line? Maybe as in, "Allegedly! I SAID allegedly! Please don't sue me!" Or something similar... just an idea. 😄
But not a decal. Don’t buy the decals.
@@dnag247 LOL
He should make t shirts with "what I'm I doing with my life!" on them. It sure comes up a lot
Or it could say "what 'm I doing..."
What I am I doing?
Love me some vintage memes and terrible Kickstarter projects. This is my entertainment during important meetings
Kim mate good to see your out of the coma. Please don't die!
Your sister is one scary bitch.❤️
* soviet anthem plays *
XD
.....
You are still reading this reply?
Cant forget..
Allegedly..
Now im done.
...
What could be more important than THIS!?!?!? Just play the video instead of the power point you had planned. Use it to weed out those who aren't fun to do business with!
See everyone Kim’s ok, he’s just busy watching business blaze.
Ive GOT to start reading the name of the person making a comment before I comment!! Lord help me!!
Kickstarter gave us the games “Pillars Of Eternity” and all those made off it’s awesome engine, like “Torment: Tides Of Numenera” and “Pillars Of Eternity 2” For that alone, it has my thanks.
14:28 Simon when Raid: Shadow Legends emails him about a sponsorship
Hahahaha!!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Plarium, you were supposed to defeat EA, not join them!
@@donatodiniccolodibettobardi842 It was pay to win right off the bat. They have always been trash.
Simon: I've never seen _Lord of the Rings,_ and never will.
What did The Fellowship do to deserve this.
I've never seen it either and never will.......Everyone at HS in the 1970's was so into the LOTR's and I thought it was just fantasy trash. Then I found out it was Tolkien's anti war manifestations and that just added to my not ever caring one way or the other about it.
dawn klug Yes, god forbid Tolkien, a WW1 vet, be critical of war. 🙄
@@dawnklug6986 The Lord of the Rings isn't even remotely anti-war though. It's ironically pretty heavy on Catholic and mythological allegory, and it's strongly anti industrialist, as well as taking a fair amount of digs at modernist philosophy, but it is decidedly pro war. In fact one of the central themes of Tolkien's works is that going to war for the right reason is one of the noblest things you can choose to do. There isn't a prominent leader in the Legendarium who isn't a great warrior king or queen.
ETA is okay y'all , he's chilling in the bottom left corner !
Oh yeah there he is! Phew!
I was worried that Simon had actually offed him
Simon was hoping no one would notice, now he actually has to make good on the threats. Allegedly.
I've got to believe in like 5 or 6 years time that there will be whole law firms whose sole purpose is to litigate against Kickstarter projects that never delivered
You know things are really bad when it's going to be terrible if someone does *not* have cancer.
That's funny.
I had a friend who THOUGHT the doctor told him he HAS cancer after a colonoscopy. So when he tells me, we talk for hours and as the convo evolved I ask him if he is gonna burn up all his good credit doing a bucket list since he is single with no estate. He said No, he is too moral for that.
So i say "Okay them, why don't you just co-sign a bunch of stuff I need with that good credit?" He says OKAY! The next 5 days I have fantasies of this cute 2br log cabin I'd like to buy.....
Speak to him last night & find out he lost his ability to understand English when the Dr told him he found 3 of 10 polyps that were cancerous. He never heard the doctor tell him he removed it all & he would be fine..... Before I could think to say :"Oh I'm so happy for you!", I said "Sh*t! How am I gonna buy the cabin NOW!" I realize now why I like Simon so much!! It appears that despite being a woman, I'm a dick too!
Dover n Dollys Mom Holy shit you’re a dick
Truth.
@@amadeodante Yeah, in that case I am. But overall, i really am not.... allegedly
@@DoverNDollysMom Well- I got a good laugh out of that story.
The Pebble was better than you give it credit for. Even with the KS prices it was still cheaper than Android Wear (Apple Watch wasn't out yet), its battery life let it run for a week between charges, it was compatible with Android and iPhone both, it was waterproof, and the hardware buttons let it be useful when wearing gloves. It was also a lot easier to develop for than the competition, so its app ecosystem was rich while it was around. I would still be using mine if it hadn't broken.
I've never click on a video so fast when I see business blaze pop up. Greatest channel ever.
Same. I got out of the shower checked my phone. New Business Blaze? It was posted 6 minutes ago. Omg I'm so late hurray busines blaze
ALegendly!
@@stephjovi I was having dinner, its so sad I could have watched it an hour earlier
Same, I'm one of the weirdos who like Business Blaze more than his other channels, though I am subscribed to both TopTenz and TiFO.
@@benjaminjames6256 I subscribed to all his channels but this is buy far away the best. Tumi is the best content on UA-cam.
Simon: "...I only see the postman and my wife."
Me: 😶
I literally squealed in excitement at the fact that there was a new video and that it was almost 30 min long. Woke up my cat lmao.
Sameeeeee
I’m sure your cat was pleased upon waking to your squeal that there was a great video to watch with you
You have not only created one of UA-cam's strangest channels but one of the funniest, strange internet communities engaging in the comments section one upping each other on who can remember all your antics about ETA, Zebra mask, allegedly, bit coin, cocaine, Raid Shadow Legands and more...good job!
Aye Simon.
Those pants are the true blaze
Simon you rock man. I like all your channels, but just want to to say absolutely business please is the best. Thank you for being able to keep a smile on my face through some rough times. Keep up your good work!
PRAISE THE BLAZE!
Wait... where's ETA? WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO HIM SIMON?
I think you know what happened to him...
Simon kicked him down the stairs. Now Danny has company
he is on the floor on the left of the screen (can be seen at the 10:40 mark)
He is punishing us for making him reveal his true personality and scaring away new subscribers. Once we live up to our part of the pyramid, and bring in 10 subscribers each, who also bring 10 subscribers. And they tell 3 friends who tell 3 friends. Then he has taken E.T.A away as punishment for the decrease in new subs. He will likely refuse to return him until we get busy and live up to our end of the bargain!
#FREE_E.T.A. (Edited for punctuation, before someone points it out!)
Chained up with Danny?
Simon Whistler starting a Kickstarter campaign to buy the Theranos brand.
Eish Simon, the “One does not simply...” meme is perhaps the best of all time but I fear that one does not simply explain the unexplainable at this point...
Hercules Wasserman should we send on some Klippies
@Hercules Wasserman Wit Blitz and Coke, he might just love it
I went to high school with Eric, the creator of the Pebble Watch. It's a sad story really. He had a several year head start on the now billion dollar industry and he really had something special going. However, because he was so focused on making his watch as affordable as possible (sub $200) it limited himself from creating watches that watch people would want to wear. He ended up getting bought out by FitBit only when Pebble was in the midst of insolvency. Meaning FitBit got to 'acquihire' all the talented staff Pebble was aggressively poaching, all the IP they have developed for pennies on the dollar.
Speaking of which, you can do a business blaze on the rise and fall of Pebble Watch. PM me if you wanted additional info.
Cigarette umbrellas will catch on, I can feel it
I'm pretty sure Raid: Shadow Legends would be willing to sponsor such a legendary channel.
Allegedly.
Oh Lord, guess it's time to Blaze with Danny, Sam, and Simon, my 3 favorite boys. I literally watch your videos 3+ times through to support you on this channel cuz I can't afford to perchthemerch 😅... Nevermind all your other channels lol
That one hit single didn’t pay off eh? 🤣😂
"I'm not a lawyer" u literally were a lawyer
No, I wasn't.
@@brainblaze6526 I'm sorry, I thought you claimed that you went to law school in one of your video
Oh, he went to _school_
Yes, I did go to law school. But its not that simple.
Go back. You would be a great litigator.
We should start Kickstarter for Mercenary Army so we can Free Danny from Simon's imperial clone troops .
Why? I side with Simon and support his madness.
Wtf? Are you nuts? We can't free Danny. He's have Simon arrested. No more new Simon videos! Even if he somehow stayed quite and accepts a pay out he would stop writing super long scripts for Business Blaze. Danny should write for Today I found out and make that more fun. He can never be set free! Sorry Danny!
I got one of your "Ask me about my Pyramid scheme" stickers. It was like $7.80 after shipping. It is indeed a bit excessive since it could have been sent in the same box with my hoodie with your head and "Smash that dislike button" t shirt....but...it is an awsome sticker on the back of my phone! It strikes up conversation. I have met great people that thought it was funny. It has made me several new freinds I would not have otherwise. So to me it was worth the money. Thank you for such a ridiculously expensive sticker! It also introduces people to your show. I think between the sticker, the hoodie and the t shirt I have hooked at least 25 people onto Business Blaze.
i'm going to make a kickstarter for some Simon Whistler branded baggies to keep your fine Colombian powdered pharmaceuticals in.
I'd put 50 in if you did.
I wouldn't mind the green, sticky varieties of pharmaceuticals, personally. Does Columbia still produce such goodies, or have they all moved to the US states where it is now legal-ish?
[Edit: yes, it HAS been that long since I dabbled in "wild-grown" pharmaceuticals, LOL!]
Teespring said they can't do these. No drug paraphernalia. Maximum level lame.
Other then the informal information is shared across these channels, I honestly watch these videos to also see authentic video reactions of Simon whistler's soul being crushed by the shitty existence of some humans of our world lol they are glorious to watch haha
Simion: "surfshark sponsor me"
also simion: "who need internet privatcy it is all better now!"
And: "dont know how that guy tracked me (after visiting their website), but it creeps me out"
Maybe surfshark should sponsor him LUL
How DID he track him btw?
@@DragoonSlayer55 potentially through Facebook, if the site has the sign in with email/Google/Facebook thing and you're recently logged in to Facebook the button itself links to their site and they get the data to sell. Google don't actively sell your data in that way, they sell advertising space but Facebook? Yeah I think you can buy that shit direct.
@@ollieb9875 I don't even use facebook! (Well, I have one for work, but its not installed on my phone!)
"Lul" in dutch means dick. Seeing it in capital was somehow quite funny.
@Devashish Vikram I'd say through phone number - it's typically linked to your name and well, after that...Not impossible to look someone up!
I'm also very careful about which cookies I accept when on browsing on my phone, there's been a number of cases of cookies being used to collect your info, and then you receive a series of texts for which you're being charged for. You can contest them with your provider (at least here in Ireland, they do help you out ), but it takes a while to get your money back, and whichever 'company' it is insists you signed up for the service (when in fact you didn't).
It's definitely creepy, though - and should be much more regulated!
Lol i never realised how bad the Lionel ritche thing was thanks for the "bitch i'm blind"
You know what's creepy? The lack of ETA
The 5g pyramid scheme got him.
He's out traveling and sightseeing before the next lockdown.
@@brucecarpenter6420 you mean taking over the planet and other channels, the real world hypnotoad
@@reapersritehand ALL GLORY TO ETA
I've been watching you for a couple months and you have easily become my favorite personality on UA-cam so much so that I leave one of your channels on in my room all day when I'm there or gone. Your personality matches mine perfectly keep it up I'll never stop watching.
"I'm not an horrific piece of sh*t - allegedly" - I can see a new piece of merch coming.
6:30 - Chapter 1 - Laser razor
12:55 - Chapter 2 - Throwing the gauntlet down
16:20 - Chapter 3 - The meme restaurant
20:50 - Chapter 4 - Is it me you looking for
22:55 - Chapter 5 - Internet browsing history for sale
When will Simon admit there is no Danny? Simon just has multiple personalities. :D
"I fucking HATE art sometimes..."
As an artist, I agree wholeheartedly.
I backed a couple of nice kickstarters. They didn't ask much and they didn't promise much, so no hypetrains. Got pretty much everything. The were couple of underwhelming, too, but they were kinda too good to be true, so 50/50.
Don't pledge more, than you can gift away. ;)
Yes I think it really depends on the project.
Simon you are a legend! My boyfriend introduced me to Biographics and your other channels. We are nerds as my friends say when they ask what I’ve been watching lately. I’ll say this history guy on UA-cam (aka you). I started watching Business Blaze on my own because I thought it was about business. To my surprise it is just you being a shit stick and it’s amazing! My boyfriend now makes fun of me when I am watching and laugh at one of the OG jokes. Any who just wanted to say thanks for making another great episode!
I just replaced my Pebble from the original kickstarter about a month ago. It was awesome
🤣 Still some on Amazon and eBay. Get some backups. Great for gift giving.
Kickstarter's a really good place for boardgames and stuff like that. Video games tend to die on the vine a lot (though some succeed) but boardgames generally deliver eventually and for those of us outside the US is fantastic since the markup here in Australia is high enough that it'd cover the postage price of the kickstarter campaign, and the exclusives that usually get thrown in make it a bit of a profit if you can sell those off. (See anything from Zombicide makers CMON, or the games Gloomhaven or 7th Continent that did short run kickstarters, got huge reviews after it was out that developed immense hype for a second printing kickstarter and made enough bank to go into full continuous retail production, in the case of the company that made Scythe they made enough money off that to no longer live kickstarter to kickstarter and started making games without crowdfunding)
My favourite insult: "Cockwomble!" 🤣🤣🤣
My favourite part of this channel is Simon complaining about Danny’s scripts 😂
Pebble had an e-Ink display (like Kindle) and shipped almost 2 years before the Apple Watch was even announced.
But did it do anything useful?
It had a low-power, transflective LCD called Memory LCD. Check out this comment from Technology Connections: ua-cam.com/video/dhRgw0HfrYU/v-deo.html&lc=UgzJZIqOXhhWeUlzwyF4AaABAg
Bass Trammel I have seen photos of one of the later models that gave you GPS directions for navigating, that sounded awesome to me, e-ink is a fantastic display technology and I really wanted one.
But when I finally was getting ready to get one, they had stopped selling them here, now I am considering the Apple Watch...
@@Stoyon GPS can be useful, I can see that. And people who exercise have some monitoring as well, I assume. I'm just using my phone for the camera, audio, twitter, and communication. I can't justify the money for a smart watch, so I've never bothered checking what they'll do.
I bought the Pebble2 color smart watch on kickstarter because it was ~30% the price of Apple watch (or equivalent) and I could use voice to text to reply to messages (only android option)!
The sponsor begging spots are so great. Loving the channel
If you get the Theranos trademark, you officially win the internet.
I'm going to make high quality Simon decal stickers that come with antibio wipes just because you said that. They'll be sent to random people to be installed in as many urinals as possible. Cheers!
First time I was this early, there was cocaine
Dang Simon! That was a really well done barfing effect! Fine work. Also justified in relation to that story. Keep it up you Legend.
Now business blaze has to do an entire episode of Chuck Tingle's books.
Yes! 10/10 would watch
Turned Gay By The Handsome Talking Space Heater Who Told Me That 5G Cell Towers Caused A Pandemic
I found that when your voice cracked around 2:40 while shouting “Ten thOUsand dollars!” to be quite entertaining.
Simon: I WILL SUE!
Everyone else: Allegedly
It's so cool seeing you come off script and just speak your mind. Love it 😍
Vegan Heroes (a local restaurant) Literally called their onion rings "Lord of The onion rings". Infact all of their food has a funny name.
I can’t decide if I like or hate that
22:32 I have just injured myself at work, come home, had pain killers and bourbon, watched this, and now have googled said book. I am In tears laughing Simon, Thanks mate, you're a legend!
Selling crabs ?
Hold up, whos gonna be suing Simon for calling Business Blaze "Business Blaze sponsored by Theranos" surely not Theranos right?
Whoever ends up buying the trademark, assuming anyone does.
OtakuUnitedStudio I’m not sure anyone other than Simon has even thought once about buying it
Ten or so years ago a guy from my home town began selling Rocks from a well-known tourist beach here on eBay. He sold hundreds for $25 each..they were around 4 inches long. The town asked him to stop as they were "public Property " ...no further action was taken.
"None of the projects should exist" yes
To be fair, the oculus rift was funded on kickstarter
@@loganricherson haha, yeah, to be fair there have been some good ones.
Now I can't stop thinking about how good an idea cigarette umbrellas are.
We be Blazing, I’m wearing the same shirt today, hell yea I’m a Business Blaze Legend, and you can be a legend too at PurchTheMerch.co, you’re welcome Simon.
Absolute legend.
Perchthemerch.co
Derek Hunter.....Sorry Derek your link is incorrect, it should take you to Tee Spring so you can buy Business Blaze merchandise, not watch a video of Rick Astley’s, Never going to give you up.
You’re right but I think he also has video for mercy as well: ua-cam.com/video/oHg5SJYRHA0/v-deo.html
"What am I doing with my life!?"
idk, you're seemingly gaming YT's algorithm by running a comical amount of channels
Speaking of "should have never existed", those pants .... Where'd you get them?
Kickstarter.
At least it wasn't gofundme. Or worse, etsy
Favorite channel on youtube, not exactly sure what that says about me. Anyone else get about 95% of the in jokes and reflexively think “Oh, Danny you sarcastic savant, that was funny” then realize you have never met Simon, Danny, or the memeologist nor will you ever and you don’t know them. And i’m just kidding meme guy i love your memes and i totally know your name.
I bought and read Taken by the TRex. *Hangs head in shame*
Shovel Knight was a Kickstarter project, hugely successful.
The thing with those Shark/Dragon shows is they only invest if they think they can get their beak wet enough on something that will grow, they don’t help support genuinely successful one-off projects like video/board games because they’re not flashy.
I have yet to get burned on Kickstarter, backed 90+ projects so far happily.
In this episode: Simon blazing at non existent sponsors while proudly showing off his predatory Clown and T-Rex fetishes. Also communism and elevators by Danny who also takes a hit at Sam who is just doing his job. Also; where is ETA?
Hey Simon/Danny, it’s not a very widely known controversy but I live in Grande Prairie AB Canada and we are getting a new hospital that’s supposed to be state of the art, and have a world class cancer treatment centre. Any way aside from countless delays, the hospital projects has gone through like three or four main contractors and there have been millions of dollars in unpaid wages/ contracts. There is allot more crazy shit that has gone on with the construction of it. You should check it out and maybe to a Fail Blaze episode on it😂. I love all your channels, keep up the great work guys🍻🍻
Gofundme for the purch of the theranos trademark?
After viewing 50 videos, i just got the Blaze reference. The goddamn blazer.
How many searched for 'Taken by the T-Rex' after Simon mentioned it?
Be honest. 🖐️
Wait... How do you 'just stumble onto' this?
I-I already knew about it...
Dino erotica is its own complete genre, featuring titles like "The Dinosaur Forced Me Gay" and "Jurassic Jane Eyre" and more. Ice known about it for years and it still baffles me that it actually exists.
I searched it after one of my whacky friends told me she read all of the author's fictions!!! My other friends and I never let her live that down 🤣.
It's one thing for Kickstarter users to be interested in an item.
That does not prove it will make it on the market.
It does not help when creators have no business experience.
Also, the creators often discover in the middle of the project that is is difficult or impossible.
Dang, them pants tho...
You just totally offended me and my turbo-mack mega computer. MY MOM SAYS I'M COOL WITHOUT ANY SIMON WHISTLER STICKERS!
You’re missing the point Simon. Most people that start a restaurant have at least worked in one in their lifetime.
Investing in a restaurant is a terrible idea anyway, more that half of all restaurants fail within a year of opening, and about a third of those that survive the first year barely make a profit. I don't know how it works outside of the U.K. buy if you go in to a bank for a business loan, restaurants are one of the few that require additional collateral. It why street food trailers are becoming a really big thing, in large part because they're more successful with lower risks but mostly because you don't need to put your house up as security.
I've supported one kickstater which was an album it came on time. And one on indiegogo, the original GPD Win, that came super fast, but late last year I sold it and got the GPD win 2.
John Wayne Gacy perch the merch.....its a defo smash dislike button 🤣
U keep on showing them youngsters that's senior citizens can do ANYTHING Simon.
Right, we need to tie Simon down and make him watch Lord of the Rings, who's with me?
‘The postman’ & ‘and my wife’ should NEVER be part of the same sentence..............
Unless a zebra mask is involved.