Understanding narcissist is very hard. It's like someone try to tell how sugar tastes if you have never tasted anything sweet. Until you actually live with a covert narcissist you cannot know how evil and abusive they are.
@@Billie-1357 - It can be that damaging to one's health. Outsiders who aren't going through it don't understand, and they might increase pressure to tolerate the narcissist they help enable. You gotta do what you gotta do, even when many won't understand you, or worse, judge you negatively for it.
Always. It’s a Biblical law that we all activate knowingly or unknowingly the law of reaping and sowing. When you do evil, you make a reservation in the spirt realm that it will return unto you!
@@narcflixnchill well, i would like to believe this and see evidence in this life. My life has been destroyed by a dark psycho and I dont see any light.
"Always"...? How do you know...? I am faving a very but hard situation and this criminal psycho went through his whole f***** life without getting the bill? He knows perfectly howvto commit crimes and stay in the grey zone. Now for almost 60 years leaving after him suffering, destruction, pain, broken lives, empty bank accounts...a real sadic, perverse, machiavelic psycho who LOL of us, his victims and enjoys our pain. When, where, how...does he end "always" to get his bill??!!
@@c.m.r.1745 let me delve alittle bit further with my personal testimony. If you haven't surrendered your life to Jesus Christ and become reborn again, please do so and He will dispel the darkness! You absolutely can defeat them when you give your life to Jesus because He is the light of the world and darkness WILL NOT overcome you! Narcissism is spiritually rooted, hence, why the DSM-5 deems no cure because it's like trying to treat cholesterol with blood pressure medication. You can't treat a spiritually rooted problem from a medical standpoint, as antidepressants and antipsychotic drugs only aggravate the demons. Narcissists are possessed with the Jezebel spirit and plagued with many lower ranking demonic spirits. Did you ever stop and think about why they are do the same thing? They didn't go to Narc Academy 101, therefore, there's your evidence! They are sent on assignment from Satan because God has a purpose and plan for your life and the thief (Satan) only comes to steal, kill and destroy whether that be mentally, physically, spiritually, etc. The ex-narc baby daddy would falsely accuse parental alienation and God defeated him and his toxic enabling mother in court EVERYTIME! This is another Biblical law that God will vindicate you in court when lies and slander (Satan) is coming against you if you've repented for your sins and become reborn again. Satan attempted murder by way of strangulation on my daughter. I installed a security camera to record pick-up and drop-offs which captured my daughter's state of well-being/testimony as well as the physical markings left behind. I pretended all was OK until the following week to confront the demon and he unhinged on camera while attempting to deny, lie and gaslight. Par for the course! His denial was his confession, as his body language and mouth were doing all the talking. They (Mother & Son LLC) acquiesced for a year to reopen the lines of communication and could not elicit a response from me because I was ignoring them that they started to doubt their own existence. I knew he was going to take me to court but was holding the ace in my pocket. Lo and behold he did, and I exposed Satan and the fruitless deeds done in the dark by returning a 28-page counteranswer to his 2-page petition two days before our hearing. Satan hit the ground running and entered a continuance to then not show up to court and sent his mother. In the interim, he texted me that he wasn't going to continue to fight me in court and closed with goodbye woman! That was always the end goal and the sweetest words I ever heard Satan utter. The Satanic human agents want to wear you down, but YOU need to challenge them and wear them down with the Sword of the Lord which is the Bible. And that my friend is the law of reaping what you sow. What Satan accuses you of, is EXACTLY the very thing that brings them shame, disgrace and exposure. Pride comes before the fall and what was meant for evil God will turn for your good. God allows the narcissist to enter your life because that's the only way He can get your attention is when your back is against the wall. I always knew the police and legal system couldn't help me because we are in a spiritual war with Satan everyday. I go back to; this is why you can't treat spiritually rooted problems from the lens of this physical world. Jehovah Rapha, Our Healer wants to heal you and bind up your wounds. Remember, His promise in the Our Father is that He will deliver us from evil because he wants the glory. Satan wants you to worship him, hence, the narcissist, but that's idolatry and worshipping another god. Binding ourselves with the narc is breaking the first Commandment and why bad things are allowed in our world because God is man of covenant. We must come out of agreement with what we ignorantly signed onto and then He can intercede and fight the battle for us! I hope my story encourages you that there is hope and healing waiting for you on the other and it's because Jesus died for our sins. We need to repent for our sins and where we allowed Satan to infiltrate our lives in such an evil way. Satan can't just jump on you and that's why the sins of our parents fall on us. The narcissist was allowed in our lives because there is/was a demonic altar that our parent's and ancestor's erected without our knowledge. How do I know this? When I was 6 years' old, I looked up my mother and said there's something radically wrong with her. Years later as I stood in my daughter's bedroom (while in the relationship with the narc) God exposed I was dating my mother's male counterpart after having words with her on the phone. God was always trying to break through and why it felt like an angel versus a demon! If you need anything else, please feel free to reach out. Sending you love in Christ Jesus! God bless! Jesus is and will always be King of Kings and Lord of Lords! Amen and amen!
I get that. I have reached a place where the more outgoing and "nice" people are the more wary I become. And that's everyone. I second guess myself and this attitude but it's survival
I had a friend who behaved exactly the way you described here. Actually I am even shocked of such a detailed picture of my ex-friend)) I went no-contact at some point, when realised how much time and compassion I gave her and had so little back
You give great explanations/insights/ knowledge. Thank you. (Your *laughs* about Narcissists, made my day.) Narcissist's deception is achieved through a "grooming process" using charm, manipulation, lies, intimidation, playing the victim, garnishing pity. They "con" you. Their ill intentions ultimately gets them nowhere and eventually they will be faced with their own demise, self-sabatoge. They might have gotten away with a lot/hurting and causing damage to others....but Karma, will take care of that/punishment is due. Yes, they get angry about it....are left feeling victimized, sorry for themselves, bitter, still in denial. That is their "fate" for their actions, selfishness, bad behavior, and wickedness. Love, your "black hole" analogy.😊
Damn, this is so accurate. The court system supporting them is something I don't hear people talk about much but its my exact experience too. They are master manipulators and even judges fall victim. Its very discouraging.
OMG, so WELL SAID. “They teach you to treat you bad”. That is a classic statement. At that point you are the victim over and over and over and over again. And at that point you have probably lost ALL YOUR money, much less your sanity.
This is so so accurate. Especially the commentary around invading your empathy to manipulate you. My brother in law stole $150k from his employer (in an easily and inevitably uncovered fraud). When he was caught, he was fired and nearly went to jail. When he came to tell us what he’d done, he painted himself as a victim (‘I was underpaid, the business treated me badly, I got greedy but I’m just trying to provide for my family etc’)… and we initially felt sorry for him! It was only after thinking about it for 10 minutes after he’d left that we formed the proper response - anger, disgust, outrage.
I swear, I just don't get why they do what they do. As they see people avoid them or go "No Contact," they double down on the insults from afar. So what is the big payday for them? Their inner circle and family they once had around them run for the hills? They end up alone.
Their insanely fragile ego gets a boost. That's literally it. That's all. And, to them, a payout worthy enough of losing everyone close to them (or so they believe).
The most true spot on video I have watched. I know because I lived with one of these horrible people for 50 years and put up with so much abuse. So anyone out there..if you think it will ever change or get better believe me it won't! Run as fast and as far away as you can before it destroys you completely in so many ways. These people are unbelievable demons . RUN for your life a for your sanity!!!!!!😢
this is very true, especially everything you mentioned about them pretending to stand against injustice, they want it to be all about them. i had a friend like exactly what you describe who i had to cut off because one day out of nowhere he turned on me after pretending he was on my side and the side of the palestinian guy i was sending money to in gaza and he randomly turned on both of us one day by turning all apathetic, scummy and started out of nowhere just saying like the most vile shit and reversing all his stances i thought he had since i known him in the blink of an eye, these people fuck my head up so much that i literally hardly trust anyone anymore.
Great video , professor Vaknin will never know how he has influenced my life . I have been exposed to narcissists for many years and didn’t know what they were! Thankful for knowing this ! Thankful for professor Vaknin !
I really enjoy your teaching style.. you make me laugh and learn at the same time.... The Narcissist.. "Oh.. I'd never hurt a fly.. i'm a saint.. i should be canonized. Everyone is so mean to me.. I'm the best... not almost the best.. The Best.. at everything i say... "As White as the Driven Snow" lol....
After surviving severe narcissistic emotional abuse from my mother, I find myself almost gravitating towards other covertly narcissistic women. Some have played the "woman" card, some the race card, others the disability card, and all of them successfully constructed a victim narrative and I suffered for it. My question is, how can victims deconstruct the covert narcissist's victimhood narrative to people who, for one reason or another, side with the narcissist?
@@annier895 - One of the methods I employ is to consistently remind the enablers of the gravity / damage the narcissist caused. You can't necessarily fault enablers for forgetfulness, although on the other hand confronting their Denial brings them back to facing Reality. Another thing, challenging an enabler / friend on their passivity or conflict-avoidance can squarely sober them up. "Can". No guarantees. It can be a lonely experience when standing firm against the narcissist, especially when enablers and outsiders don't want to hear the full truth and context of the problem.
Unfortunately, it's not an easy task to do. Covert Narcissist start smearing you very early in the zero-sum situationship. Some will see in their own time - a few will tell you later, but others want no parts of either of you.
"Listen to them, the children of the night. What music they make!" ~ Count Dracula (Bram Stoker). Gratitude for the knowledge and insight shared Prof. Vaknin 'Helsing'.
When he left the house, the 1st thing he did was text me telling me to compare hotel prices & cabs for him. When I had a protective order served on him he insisted I tell the authorities what time he would be available to accommodate him. 😂
Thanks Professor. I'm a Northern Ireland survivor and a very moral person.As a late post war baby boomer I had opportunities for education, property and career progression. I'm not going to let envious people who were too lazy and complacent to seek advancement to ruin my personal development and achievement. I'm highly disabled and that has even been denied regardless of my award of the highest level of Disability Benefits for life!. Such idiots who relied on my previous heavy taxes to maintain their miserable notion of life will not beat me down. Legally I will get them. Freedom of Information for allegations against me and never sustained are and have been released. Punitive justice I hope will be forthcoming in the next years. But appearing to cause doubt in one flying monkey may not be the case; their shameful composure could be manipulative. I will remain silent and see if they revert. I actually think this one has quite a wide range of Narcissistic traits or is actually another Covert narcissist with less intelligence as they reinacted the chaos the other demon started. A copy cat. Now that those incidents have been exhausted it will be interesting to note if they are a dim witted wanna a be or ingenious enough to create their own. However I will direct 20% lies their way to see what happens. I've fought for so much through ill health and practically civil war for an ignoramus and confirming to be allowed to try to destroy me.
While you're waiting for a video series: Depending on what you mean by living better - self-supply, tackling envy and catching yourself with (mis) behaviours would get you pretty far in my unprofessional opinion with a few years experience of sloppily watching this channel. Prof.V's Cold therapy is still unavailable if I hadn't missed any updates for alleviating the need for narcissistic supply and tackling grandiosity. (I apologise in advance to prof.V for not doing as much due diligence as I could've and should've, as well as blame the Dunning-Kruger effect.) (*Edit: I am allocating blame for any unintentional misinformation of the DK effect - the poor English in the last sentence is fully on me and my negligence 🤦)
Amazing how similar and boring they are, I left my narc twice. That was a close to hospital case for me since I just gave birth his child found out he was married in other country and just had his baby with his wife whom he left shortly after birth as well, so I end up thinking I am horrible person. And also stupid enough to believe him in first place
Unfortunately our daughters ex has manipulated even the court and psychologist which has led to very damaging results for their children. No punishment no karma there. He is on drugs and pretends interest in the 4 year old children. He has been granted weeks by himself with them . Un believable but true. So sad....and were so worried...
@@felicianewman5306can you explain what you mean? Narcs are good at convincing judges? Constructing false alibis/narratives? 😂 I think I already answered my own question
Accurate discription of what im going through right now.. she executed very well plan before leaving used my anger as tool she got physical evidence..she left me a month ago..as expected spread lies with obvious truth.. what she didn't expect was how i managed after this..i didn't try to prove myself i didn't react in a way as she expected i would.. turned up at neutral place with her mother and uncles and demanded divorce.. i just said yes! The looks on their faces were amazing to watch.. now she is crying and begging to come back stating she was mentally unstable when she took that decision but i know and she knows and everybody knows it was well planned exit..
It took me 36 years to figure this crap out now that im calling him out he gets furious screaming at me im no longer bothered by it he says u yell at me all the time now lmao not taking no more of your crap i tell him
The victim concept has been crucial in killing my inner N. Been battling numerous with a bipolar defense system for a long time. When they split i split and go full N. When i lose insight i do all the things G.L., project, yada yada. Magical thinking all of it. Just in different stages. Thanks Sam
Narcissism at its core is a shared fantasy that took a left and embodies human sacrifice. Remember that the narcissist is the God and the worshipper and this is where the rubber meets the road. - btw Sam Vaknin taught me all of this.
You are amazing (I know you already know 😂)! You're exactly describing my ex. Once again, with such uncanny precision, I feel like you personally know him (and I'm sure you know him better than he will ever know himself). I've watched tons of your videos and at last understand what happened during my past relationship, which was beyond perplexing, toxic , and abusive. If not for you, I may still gaslight myself into believing he has kindness and goodness, or some empathy somewhere deep within, and I would've continued granting him chances. Your channel has been instrumental in clearing the fog I've been living in (finally, things make sense!), which years of therapy failed to accomplish. Thank you. Truly. ❤
I have to work with one and I’ve finally had enough and got another job. I have 2 weeks left, I feel like I’ll leave running out of that building like it’s on fire!
My ex claimed to be an “expert” on topics involving conspiracy theories. He runs a couple of Facebook pages geared toward this. Sometimes he brings up points that make you think but the rest is hilarious garbage. He’s a trash expert 😂
Amazing how long they can wear the mask...my stb ex husband wore his for about six months...until he had me isolated, then it fell off, and the rage at my authenticity began. The whole thing was fraudulent, he took vows in bad faith. BUT.... he's about to pay.
I was just thinking how my ex narc husband had got away all these years and almost suddenly he couldn't get out of bed one morning . That night in A&E he was diagnosed with terminal cancer ......If this is karma it's very harsh yet my years of suffering health not a jot did he care of stop his behaviour. He turned I. He and exposed the covert part and I know he suffered regret but he blamed me right to the end .
Is it possible I’m a Narsisist because I’ve come out of aweful relationship, totally controlling and very much fits Narsisist/ psychopath traits. But I was told i complain all the time. Ungrateful etc etc they hit me in the end and arrested because I asked what butter was on my toast because it tasted very strange (they’d done it on purpose) evil stuff. I was incapacitated after surgery when they attacked me after telling me I was now in boot camp
The nEX broke up with me, then told me she didn't. I read to her 12 texts where she told me how awful I was, and that she didn't want to be my girlfriend, and that maybe someday things would change... after I read them she cried for 1.5 hours telling me how abusive and awful I was. Later, she again insisted she didn't break up with me, then said, well, I didn't mean to, then, "YOU MADE ME BREAK UP WITH YOU!"
Lack of empathy,constant need of attention,"uncanny valley",the do no wrong (never),gossiping ,always playing victim card when in fact they are the abuser.
Not at all..The community of victims have grown up long time ago.but we have a hard time facing reality that some grown ups are still 3 years old..incapable of responsibility for any action.
The nonstop chaos, self-aggrandizement, rage, denials, victimhood, etc., you describe are exactly what the American ppl have been subjected to from Donald Trump for 8 very long years now. It’s beyond exhausting.
Understanding narcissist is very hard. It's like someone try to tell how sugar tastes if you have never tasted anything sweet. Until you actually live with a covert narcissist you cannot know how evil and abusive they are.
@@MsRapture10i totally understand.
I would believe you. Stay safe and try to stay ahead of the traps.
Well said.
That is so true!
Excellent metaphor!
And they ALWAYS end up reaping what they've sown.
@@Billie-1357 - It can be that damaging to one's health. Outsiders who aren't going through it don't understand, and they might increase pressure to tolerate the narcissist they help enable. You gotta do what you gotta do, even when many won't understand you, or worse, judge you negatively for it.
Always. It’s a Biblical law that we all activate knowingly or unknowingly the law of reaping and sowing. When you do evil, you make a reservation in the spirt realm that it will return unto you!
@@narcflixnchill well, i would like to believe this and see evidence in this life.
My life has been destroyed by a dark psycho and I dont see any light.
"Always"...? How do you know...? I am faving a very but hard situation and this criminal psycho went through his whole f***** life without getting the bill? He knows perfectly howvto commit crimes and stay in the grey zone. Now for almost 60 years leaving after him suffering, destruction, pain, broken lives, empty bank accounts...a real sadic, perverse, machiavelic psycho who LOL of us, his victims and enjoys our pain. When, where, how...does he end "always" to get his bill??!!
@@c.m.r.1745 let me delve alittle bit further with my personal testimony. If you haven't surrendered your life to Jesus Christ and become reborn again, please do so and He will dispel the darkness! You absolutely can defeat them when you give your life to Jesus because He is the light of the world and darkness WILL NOT overcome you! Narcissism is spiritually rooted, hence, why the DSM-5 deems no cure because it's like trying to treat cholesterol with blood pressure medication. You can't treat a spiritually rooted problem from a medical standpoint, as antidepressants and antipsychotic drugs only aggravate the demons. Narcissists are possessed with the Jezebel spirit and plagued with many lower ranking demonic spirits. Did you ever stop and think about why they are do the same thing? They didn't go to Narc Academy 101, therefore, there's your evidence! They are sent on assignment from Satan because God has a purpose and plan for your life and the thief (Satan) only comes to steal, kill and destroy whether that be mentally, physically, spiritually, etc.
The ex-narc baby daddy would falsely accuse parental alienation and God defeated him and his toxic enabling mother in court EVERYTIME! This is another Biblical law that God will vindicate you in court when lies and slander (Satan) is coming against you if you've repented for your sins and become reborn again.
Satan attempted murder by way of strangulation on my daughter. I installed a security camera to record pick-up and drop-offs which captured my daughter's state of well-being/testimony as well as the physical markings left behind. I pretended all was OK until the following week to confront the demon and he unhinged on camera while attempting to deny, lie and gaslight. Par for the course! His denial was his confession, as his body language and mouth were doing all the talking. They (Mother & Son LLC) acquiesced for a year to reopen the lines of communication and could not elicit a response from me because I was ignoring them that they started to doubt their own existence. I knew he was going to take me to court but was holding the ace in my pocket. Lo and behold he did, and I exposed Satan and the fruitless deeds done in the dark by returning a 28-page counteranswer to his 2-page petition two days before our hearing. Satan hit the ground running and entered a continuance to then not show up to court and sent his mother. In the interim, he texted me that he wasn't going to continue to fight me in court and closed with goodbye woman! That was always the end goal and the sweetest words I ever heard Satan utter. The Satanic human agents want to wear you down, but YOU need to challenge them and wear them down with the Sword of the Lord which is the Bible.
And that my friend is the law of reaping what you sow. What Satan accuses you of, is EXACTLY the very thing that brings them shame, disgrace and exposure. Pride comes before the fall and what was meant for evil God will turn for your good. God allows the narcissist to enter your life because that's the only way He can get your attention is when your back is against the wall. I always knew the police and legal system couldn't help me because we are in a spiritual war with Satan everyday. I go back to; this is why you can't treat spiritually rooted problems from the lens of this physical world. Jehovah Rapha, Our Healer wants to heal you and bind up your wounds. Remember, His promise in the Our Father is that He will deliver us from evil because he wants the glory. Satan wants you to worship him, hence, the narcissist, but that's idolatry and worshipping another god. Binding ourselves with the narc is breaking the first Commandment and why bad things are allowed in our world because God is man of covenant. We must come out of agreement with what we ignorantly signed onto and then He can intercede and fight the battle for us!
I hope my story encourages you that there is hope and healing waiting for you on the other and it's because Jesus died for our sins. We need to repent for our sins and where we allowed Satan to infiltrate our lives in such an evil way. Satan can't just jump on you and that's why the sins of our parents fall on us. The narcissist was allowed in our lives because there is/was a demonic altar that our parent's and ancestor's erected without our knowledge. How do I know this? When I was 6 years' old, I looked up my mother and said there's something radically wrong with her. Years later as I stood in my daughter's bedroom (while in the relationship with the narc) God exposed I was dating my mother's male counterpart after having words with her on the phone. God was always trying to break through and why it felt like an angel versus a demon! If you need anything else, please feel free to reach out. Sending you love in Christ Jesus! God bless! Jesus is and will always be King of Kings and Lord of Lords! Amen and amen!
I hate when they are fake nice and smiling .
That is my mom to a "T," She has Big beautiful blue eyes and a beautiful smile and uses it to trick people and get her way.
I get that. I have reached a place where the more outgoing and "nice" people are the more wary I become. And that's everyone. I second guess myself and this attitude but it's survival
I know what you mean! It makes me feel like I'm in the twilight zone.
@@64Afrika nothing else irritated me more than this..
Like a snake in the grass
My life is still recovering from a narcissistic relationship.
I had a friend who behaved exactly the way you described here. Actually I am even shocked of such a detailed picture of my ex-friend)) I went no-contact at some point, when realised how much time and compassion I gave her and had so little back
I feel like you made this for me, I left my Narc today!
Well done! Stay strong 💃
Stay safe ❤
Blessings.
You give great explanations/insights/ knowledge. Thank you. (Your *laughs* about Narcissists, made my day.)
Narcissist's deception is achieved through a "grooming process" using charm, manipulation, lies, intimidation, playing the victim, garnishing pity. They "con" you. Their ill intentions ultimately gets them nowhere and eventually they will be faced with their own demise, self-sabatoge. They might have gotten away with a lot/hurting and causing damage to others....but Karma, will take care of that/punishment is due. Yes, they get angry about it....are left feeling victimized, sorry for themselves, bitter, still in denial. That is their "fate" for their actions, selfishness, bad behavior, and wickedness.
Love, your "black hole" analogy.😊
Nailed it! They teach you to treat you bad. While they are enraged as a victim. Then the court system supports them.
*them, support them*.
@@Haroun.Benmahdjoub thank you.
Damn, this is so accurate. The court system supporting them is something I don't hear people talk about much but its my exact experience too. They are master manipulators and even judges fall victim. Its very discouraging.
Dude.. nailed it bullseye
OMG, so WELL SAID. “They teach you to treat you bad”. That is a classic statement. At that point you are the victim over and over and over and over again. And at that point you have probably lost ALL YOUR money, much less your sanity.
This is so so accurate. Especially the commentary around invading your empathy to manipulate you.
My brother in law stole $150k from his employer (in an easily and inevitably uncovered fraud). When he was caught, he was fired and nearly went to jail. When he came to tell us what he’d done, he painted himself as a victim (‘I was underpaid, the business treated me badly, I got greedy but I’m just trying to provide for my family etc’)… and we initially felt sorry for him! It was only after thinking about it for 10 minutes after he’d left that we formed the proper response - anger, disgust, outrage.
Hands down THE most accurate description ever!
I swear, I just don't get why they do what they do. As they see people avoid them or go "No Contact," they double down on the insults from afar. So what is the big payday for them? Their inner circle and family they once had around them run for the hills? They end up alone.
@@MsRapture10 Exactly, well stated.
Don't forget, they're "stupid."
@@joefuge2978 100%
Their insanely fragile ego gets a boost. That's literally it. That's all. And, to them, a payout worthy enough of losing everyone close to them (or so they believe).
The most true spot on video I have watched. I know because I lived with one of these horrible people for 50 years and put up with so much abuse. So anyone out there..if you think it will ever change or get better believe me it won't! Run as fast and as far away as you can before it destroys you completely in so many ways. These people are unbelievable demons . RUN for your life a for your sanity!!!!!!😢
And for your children’s lives, even if they are adults. Just out of 42 years abuse by a narc.
this is very true, especially everything you mentioned about them pretending to stand against injustice, they want it to be all about them. i had a friend like exactly what you describe who i had to cut off because one day out of nowhere he turned on me after pretending he was on my side and the side of the palestinian guy i was sending money to in gaza and he randomly turned on both of us one day by turning all apathetic, scummy and started out of nowhere just saying like the most vile shit and reversing all his stances i thought he had since i known him in the blink of an eye, these people fuck my head up so much that i literally hardly trust anyone anymore.
I like that your voice pitched up an octave at the end because that clarifies whom we are dealing with, a hurt child.
It was so familiar - so like the person I’m dealing with. Wow
Now I understand better, thanks for sharing. Blessings to everyone 🙏
Brilliant exposition on these dark creatures, thank you
Great video , professor Vaknin will never know how he has influenced my life . I have been exposed to narcissists for many years and didn’t know what they were! Thankful for knowing this ! Thankful for professor Vaknin !
here here !!
I really enjoy your teaching style.. you make me laugh and learn at the same time.... The Narcissist.. "Oh.. I'd never hurt a fly.. i'm a saint.. i should be canonized. Everyone is so mean to me.. I'm the best... not almost the best.. The Best.. at everything i say... "As White as the Driven Snow" lol....
After surviving severe narcissistic emotional abuse from my mother, I find myself almost gravitating towards other covertly narcissistic women. Some have played the "woman" card, some the race card, others the disability card, and all of them successfully constructed a victim narrative and I suffered for it. My question is, how can victims deconstruct the covert narcissist's victimhood narrative to people who, for one reason or another, side with the narcissist?
I’m wondering the same thing; how do we help others to see right through them?
@@annier895 - One of the methods I employ is to consistently remind the enablers of the gravity / damage the narcissist caused. You can't necessarily fault enablers for forgetfulness, although on the other hand confronting their Denial brings them back to facing Reality. Another thing, challenging an enabler / friend on their passivity or conflict-avoidance can squarely sober them up. "Can". No guarantees. It can be a lonely experience when standing firm against the narcissist, especially when enablers and outsiders don't want to hear the full truth and context of the problem.
Unfortunately, it's not an easy task to do. Covert Narcissist start smearing you very early in the zero-sum situationship. Some will see in their own time - a few will tell you later, but others want no parts of either of you.
@annier895 It's very difficult...when they get in first.
It's only the first story...that is often believed.
Just be aware that they may not be deceived victims, but enablers
"Listen to them, the children of the night. What music they make!" ~ Count Dracula (Bram Stoker). Gratitude for the knowledge and insight shared Prof. Vaknin 'Helsing'.
When he left the house, the 1st thing he did was text me telling me to compare hotel prices & cabs for him. When I had a protective order served on him he insisted I tell the authorities what time he would be available to accommodate him. 😂
Thank you for this video. I am going to share it. "Creatures of the dark" indeed..
You are my favorite! Thank you 🤗 you are the only one that is teaching me about this. I will learn to detach for self preservation of my soul. ❤
Thanks for being you and sharing it
Love your teaching techniques. You are full of passion, good with metaphorically explaining. Your humor is fantastic and learn much. Thank you Sir
Thanks Professor. I'm a Northern Ireland survivor and a very moral person.As a late post war baby boomer I had opportunities for education, property and career progression. I'm not going to let envious people who were too lazy and complacent to seek advancement to ruin my personal development and achievement. I'm highly disabled and that has even been denied regardless of my award of the highest level of Disability Benefits for life!. Such idiots who relied on my previous heavy taxes to maintain their miserable notion of life will not beat me down. Legally I will get them. Freedom of Information for allegations against me and never sustained are and have been released. Punitive justice I hope will be forthcoming in the next years. But appearing to cause doubt in one flying monkey may not be the case; their shameful composure could be manipulative. I will remain silent and see if they revert. I actually think this one has quite a wide range of Narcissistic traits or is actually another Covert narcissist with less intelligence as they reinacted the chaos the other demon started. A copy cat. Now that those incidents have been exhausted it will be interesting to note if they are a dim witted wanna a be or ingenious enough to create their own. However I will direct 20% lies their way to see what happens. I've fought for so much through ill health and practically civil war for an ignoramus and confirming to be allowed to try to destroy me.
😂😂😂😂 He's a god and it's a private religion! Oh, Professor Vaknin, thank you for the humor!
Thats exactly how they are...
hey could you do a series dedicated to living better being a person with narcissisitic/psychopathic traits? thank you for your work
While you're waiting for a video series:
Depending on what you mean by living better - self-supply, tackling envy and catching yourself with (mis) behaviours would get you pretty far in my unprofessional opinion with a few years experience of sloppily watching this channel. Prof.V's Cold therapy is still unavailable if I hadn't missed any updates for alleviating the need for narcissistic supply and tackling grandiosity.
(I apologise in advance to prof.V for not doing as much due diligence as I could've and should've, as well as blame the Dunning-Kruger effect.)
(*Edit: I am allocating blame for any unintentional misinformation of the DK effect - the poor English in the last sentence is fully on me and my negligence 🤦)
Living better with a narcissist or a psychopath...🤔🤔???
Amazing how similar and boring they are, I left my narc twice. That was a close to hospital case for me since I just gave birth his child found out he was married in other country and just had his baby with his wife whom he left shortly after birth as well, so I end up thinking I am horrible person. And also stupid enough to believe him in first place
They are master manipulators that love No one but themselves. And they dont care about babies/children either.
Unfortunately our daughters ex has manipulated even the court and psychologist which has led to very damaging results for their children. No punishment no karma there. He is on drugs and pretends interest in the 4 year old children. He has been granted weeks by himself with them . Un believable but true. So sad....and were so worried...
I'm so deeply sorry to hear that you are suffering over this...cruel
Record him without him knowing.
@@anon.decoding_card that really doesn’t help. Narcs usually win in court.
Karma doesnt work on your time, it works on God’s time. Dont worry, it will come
@@felicianewman5306can you explain what you mean? Narcs are good at convincing judges? Constructing false alibis/narratives? 😂 I think I already answered my own question
Thank you for the information.
Accurate discription of what im going through right now.. she executed very well plan before leaving used my anger as tool she got physical evidence..she left me a month ago..as expected spread lies with obvious truth.. what she didn't expect was how i managed after this..i didn't try to prove myself i didn't react in a way as she expected i would.. turned up at neutral place with her mother and uncles and demanded divorce.. i just said yes! The looks on their faces were amazing to watch.. now she is crying and begging to come back stating she was mentally unstable when she took that decision but i know and she knows and everybody knows it was well planned exit..
love your talks Prof Sam Vaknin xo Thank you!!
It took me 36 years to figure this crap out now that im calling him out he gets furious screaming at me im no longer bothered by it he says u yell at me all the time now lmao not taking no more of your crap i tell him
Sounded very (fake friend) personal this video 😂
Why?
They fiddle fart around till there is a green cloud over his head.
Thank you so much.
Always enjoy your videos Professor. I learn a lot, thank you!
Super content ❤
The victim concept has been crucial in killing my inner N. Been battling numerous with a bipolar defense system for a long time. When they split i split and go full N. When i lose insight i do all the things G.L., project, yada yada. Magical thinking all of it. Just in different stages. Thanks Sam
Some pronoun density there.
Thank you for this Video. So the Conclusion is, that the Narcissist is a little Child in an Adult Body.
Narcissism at its core is a shared fantasy that took a left and embodies human sacrifice. Remember that the narcissist is the God and the worshipper and this is where the rubber meets the road. - btw Sam Vaknin taught me all of this.
Who is Sam Vaknin?
😅......Thanks!.....💛
👂🏻🤯👂🏻proffess this one stung....cant believe i became this.....cont...
Good morning Sam:)
You are amazing (I know you already know 😂)!
You're exactly describing my ex.
Once again, with such uncanny precision, I feel like you personally know him (and I'm sure you know him better than he will ever know himself).
I've watched tons of your videos and at last understand what happened during my past relationship, which was beyond perplexing, toxic , and abusive.
If not for you, I may still gaslight myself into believing he has kindness and goodness, or some empathy somewhere deep within, and I would've continued granting him chances.
Your channel has been instrumental in clearing the fog I've been living in (finally, things make sense!), which years of therapy failed to accomplish.
Thank you. Truly. ❤
Can you give advices how to deal with them at work?
Search the channel.
I have to work with one and I’ve finally had enough and got another job. I have 2 weeks left, I feel like I’ll leave running out of that building like it’s on fire!
He's hilarious
My ex claimed to be an “expert” on topics involving conspiracy theories. He runs a couple of Facebook pages geared toward this. Sometimes he brings up points that make you think but the rest is hilarious garbage. He’s a trash expert 😂
When will these vampires decompose Sam!
Mere mortals decompose. Vampires never do.
Amazing how long they can wear the mask...my stb ex husband wore his for about six months...until he had me isolated, then it fell off, and the rage at my authenticity began. The whole thing was fraudulent, he took vows in bad faith. BUT.... he's about to pay.
Mine wore a mask for 3 years. When it slipped then it fell hard! No going back to him when I saw him for what he was, for all the evil he was.
Good afternoon
LOVE 🙏🙏🙏
Dr vaknin, thankyou for your brilliant insight. Would you ever do a video on incels?
Search the contemporary sexuality playlist.
I was just thinking how my ex narc husband had got away all these years and almost suddenly he couldn't get out of bed one morning . That night in A&E he was diagnosed with terminal cancer ......If this is karma it's very harsh yet my years of suffering health not a jot did he care of stop his behaviour. He turned I. He and exposed the covert part and I know he suffered regret but he blamed me right to the end .
Anyone can tell me what dday means?
Thanks
Is it possible I’m a Narsisist because I’ve come out of aweful relationship, totally controlling and very much fits Narsisist/ psychopath traits. But I was told i complain all the time. Ungrateful etc etc they hit me in the end and arrested because I asked what butter was on my toast because it tasted very strange (they’d done it on purpose) evil stuff. I was incapacitated after surgery when they attacked me after telling me I was now in boot camp
Search the channel for CPTSD.
The nEX broke up with me, then told me she didn't. I read to her 12 texts where she told me how awful I was, and that she didn't want to be my girlfriend, and that maybe someday things would change... after I read them she cried for 1.5 hours telling me how abusive and awful I was. Later, she again insisted she didn't break up with me, then said, well, I didn't mean to, then, "YOU MADE ME BREAK UP WITH YOU!"
Wow!
And im here to collect i tell mines 😆 and he knows ...did you know the cannot lie i mean ACTUALLY LIE TO ( ME)
ah ha... I recognize a UA-camr in this one. 🙂Wow.
How do we know who they are and stay away from them?
Lack of empathy,constant need of attention,"uncanny valley",the do no wrong (never),gossiping ,always playing victim card when in fact they are the abuser.
Word by Words ,
⬇️
A Dot ,
👌 Pin Point Accurate , 👌
Content .
👌
👌👌 .
Sad
Lol teflon don
ask yourself who died and made them god??
The funny thing is that this describes the community of victims of narcissists
Search the channel for "empath".
Not at all..The community of victims have grown up long time ago.but we have a hard time facing reality that some grown ups are still 3 years old..incapable of responsibility for any action.
maybe she was a covert or bpd, never clear.
Watch the comorbidities playlist.
@@samvaknin Thank you I appreciate the guidance!!!
Sounds similar to bdp
The nonstop chaos, self-aggrandizement, rage, denials, victimhood, etc., you describe are exactly what the American ppl have been subjected to from Donald Trump for 8 very long years now. It’s beyond exhausting.
Yeah and the sniffing and baiting of infant children 😂😂😂
Was Trump sleeping through his trial because of narcissistic injury ?
… u’are who u re … not
🖤 WOW. DISCRIBES. SOMEONE. 🎯 B8NGO. B9NGO. 🪘🥴🥶