So, there was an update a few hours ago, that I was posted after I had recorded the video, so unfortunately I didn't see it, but just in case...here it is: Monday wasn't a shitshow, so that was good. My supervisor and the HR officer did bring everyone on the team into the big conference room for the HR officer said that we are a professional company, and while we do like to have fun(there are company outings like golf, bowling, Main Event) we are to be strictly professional and not gossip about other coworker's personal lives. Sandy and the two other coworkers who were brought into the conference room Friday looked pretty ashamed during this. Krista was sitting at the other end of the conference room table and there seemed to be a noticeable distance between her and the other employees. My supervisor said he wants to consider this matter closed and for us to get back to offering great solutions to our clients. Everyone filed out of the conference room and went back to work. Lunch on Monday was pretty tense, but Tuesday management had a local Mexican place bring in a 'Taco Tuesday' for us, and the mood improved considerably. I don't gossip, but I did hear murmurs that Krista is now on her final warning and put on a Performance Improvement Plan, all within her first two weeks. Not sure how true these rumors are, but with how isolated Krista now appears to be to the rest of the team, it is clear that everyone else is not willing to socialize with her beyond their work functions. I considered this matter closed myself, and if Krista worked hard and got her redemption arc, I'd have been fine with it. But then last night happened. Not sure where Krista got my address, but she was outside my house last night, and luckily my doorbell camera caught it, so I can pretty accurately transcribe it. She rung and asked if we could talk. I said through the digital doorbell there was nothing to talk about, and she better leave because this is now harassment. She pleaded for me to come outside and discuss it. I declined and emphasized she's not welcome. She then said she had a crush on me in college, that her friends found out she asked me to coffee and pressured her to turn it into a harassment campaign and she was afraid of them disowning her for liking a 'guy like me'. Guys, I wanted to laugh so fucking hard. I was socially awkward back in college, but even I knew this was bullshit. Hell, I wasn't even interested in Krista for a date; I thought she wanted to be my friend. I told her that I didn't care what she has to say, she has to leave. She told me I could just ask Sandy what she told her and it would 'clear this all up'. I declined and said that this matter in the office is closed. Krista finally made an exaggerated sigh and walked off. I took the video recording from the doorbell and sent it to the employment lawyer and will give it to my supervisor and HR today. I will be shocked if she will last longer than this Friday now.
Can I please get the link to the reddit story? I would like to follow up if there are further updates... This is something similar to what I have experienced in my own workplace...
I don't believe Krista's BS story about a crush. Glad OP sent that video off to his lawyer. HR needs to find out who gave out OP's address to this deranged woman and get them in trouble too. As for OP, he better get ready to contact the police because once Krista is fired(it is inevitable), she is going to stalk him.
You know it's bad when even 10 years later, instead of saying "sorry, that was wrong of me, I'm very ashamed" she goes "it was just a misunderstanding. Lady, you don't invite a guy on a fake date so you can take a picture and plaster it all over campus as a misunderstanding. Friggin mean girl shit.
"it was just a misunderstanding." a classic cheater/narc line. Also, how hard is it to say "What happens in HR meetings stays in HR meetings." and move on? Krista had to gossip about it despite the advice she got.
Yeah, I'd believe the crush story if it were presented as part of an apology and she wasn't talking with other coworkers about it like it was a "funny story"
Story 1: *"You two. Conference room. NOW!".* Krista must not be too smart. She should have apologized and try to keep her head down as a new hire. Not telling a bunch of new coworkers, at her new job, stories of her bullying someone who has worked there for longer and has seniority. Pfft. Some people never grew.
Strikes me as the kind of person who needs a posse of gossipy brainlets to feel good about herself. She already tried crafting one by spreading the word around before being told off by HR. People have been fired for less where I used work, y'know.
I'm not sure that is what she told them. It seemed that it was said prior to the HR meeting. So she could have been saying how, "he was the fat loser that asked me out and I rejected him. He was a real creep," type o' story. A pre-emptive spin. Never suspecting he was already on his way to HR.
I'll bet a mil she was spinning her tale to the coworkers to "get them on her side" and hr and manager contacted all employees she talked to and then Reached out to the contacts to get the real story and called her out as the liar she is. I bet she though OP was like her and was going to build an army againt her. Well she's not too bright so hopefully all ends well.
She sounds like one of those people who has gone her entire life without ever suffering real consequences for her actions. Look at how quickly she went against what HR told them both and not spreading this story around the workplace. It's like she had absolutely no fear of getting into trouble.
Story 1: Mark covered this yesterday and as everyone said on there Krista probably looked panicked in that HR meeting because she had already started spreading the story.
That was my POV too, given than more than one co-worker was yoinked into that second meeting and they all looked pissed coming out. She was shown to be a vindictive gossip who can and would spread lies and twist facts to make others look bad. even if she keeps her job she's going to be the outsider as long as she works there.
yes, Krista is still a bully, and at least one other coworker is a stupid gossip, possibly bully. The issue with people like Krista is they take other people down with them when they get caught. I am sure all those people were written up/put on warning and Krista was told she is now on probation.
Krista has shown her hand and now the company and her coworkers are aware of who she is. Especially the coworkers now know that to associate with Krista may put their own jobs at risk.
@@MrJpaynebb And I guarantee that the higher ups probably told her that this is her last warning, and that one more shit stirring from her and she's out the door! And I doubt that will bode well for her resume! Correct me if I'm wrong, but if you get fired from one job and apply for a new one, doesn't the employer have to call your previous one to ask questions about you?
@@elizabethescalante8114yep that’s correct. In the uk you can’t say anything bad in a reference so what they say is “We wish such and such well with their future endeavours” and nothing else. In a normal reference they put a lot of stuff about what you did and how good you are so so that silence speaks volumes!
Anyone else who noticed in the first story it? Nobody? Sandy said yesterday?! Yesterday?!?! So before the meeting! That snake realized who he was and started to tell some people. She probably was so shocked because she then knew she fucked up :/
Yep. Notice how she also didn't warn HR that she had already begun telling people. My guess is she was hoping to go talk to those women before anything got out and tell them to not say anything but it was too late. Her goose was damn near cooked.
@@justinswinehart5361 My money is that she was also hoping they wouldn't spread the story around. But when the co-worker bold as brass started blabbing she was screwed.
@@rebeccaabram2312 yeah honestly that was hilarious. I truly appreciate The quality of his boss. Didn't even let that lady finish her statement. Just boom we're solving this right damn now.
Yeah, that's why Krista was nervous when she first got called to HR. She thought the gossip had already caught back up with her! Then probably felt she had gotten away with it when they broke for lunch... only to have the consequences finally blow up in her face! Honestly hilarious how that played out. Glad OP went to HR when he did.
I had to go back and hear it twice to be sure but yeah. Woman didn’t even think twice about pulling this HS mean girl BS at work. She’s going to make herself unhirable.
The REAL idiot in the story is the coworker who couldn't WAIT to repeat a story from someone she hardly knew. She seems like the toxic type that will take every opportunity to stab someone in the back. I wouldn't trust her in any situation. She needs to be out the door shortly after Krista.
Running her mouth helped OP but condemned her because everyone knows not to trust her. If she’s not fired she’ll probably have to move on because she has a reputation.
It doesn’t sound like Krista changed at all if she was telling the story to her new coworkers. Her “mean girl” behaviour was childish back in college, now it’s downright pathetic as a supposed grown adult with a job.
Ikr, she’s obviously not matured (neither has Sandy tbh) she was a loser in college pulling this crap, and doing it as an adult at work is pathetic, I doubt she’s going to last long, especially with LG’s update in the comments, and it’s going to hurt her chances of getting hired also if she got fired after less than a month.
One of my first jobs out of college was with a guy I went to high school with. We didn't move in the same circles usually, but we did come across one another several times in high school. The dude saw me and all he wanted to do was "relive" our high school years. I thought it and him were crazy. I grew out of "high school" when I went to college and I grew out of "college" when I got my first adult job. I didn't really understand his deal for wanting to relive the good old days of high school but a co-worker told me it was because those years were the best of that dude's life and everything else for him would just be downhill. He said the dude peaked in high school and the day he graduated his life would pretty much suck LOL. The guy I graduated with didn't last more than 2 months at that job and I found out it was like his 8th from the time we graduated high school. He tried college but it didn't work out for him so he pretty much just jumped from job to job, many of them that employed high school kids, and then he just hung around the new batch of Seniors in our old high school every year LOL. I felt sorry for him. Peaking in high school, yuk.
Story 1: Krista just discovered that her new PM job has an expiration date. She walked into a new job and started fucking around. The find out stage was swift! Maybe she shouldn't use this job as a reference on that next job hunt. 😂
OP handled it right getting lawyer's advice. HR cares about protecting company not workers but it's better to be on advance then in retreat. Krista could have seriously messed his life up if he let her have initiative.
First rule of HR: The first strike ALWAYS win. Once you put them in a position where you CAN sue them into oblivion they take your side. If OP had not told them he would be punished.
Props to that Supervisor stopping the situation in real time. We have too few people in management who are aware and take action like that when warranted. OP not only did the right thing just in time, he has found a great place to work!
As someone who was bullied badly in middle school, I would always be willing to forgive a bully who owned up to their behavior and apologized. Sadly they never do and Krista is proof that some bully’s never change
As long ago as it was, I have never forgotten the girl who bullied me for awhile in primary school. These things stay in the frontal lobe. I have, on occasion, imagined meeting her in a semi-professional capacity so she could see how well life turned out for me. Petty I know, but it's just a thought I have every once in awhile.
I was bullied all through school, every day, by nearly everyone. It was horrible. There were times that I had thoughts of ending it, but I didn't, because I wasn't going to give them the satisfaction. Interestingly enough, one of the boys who was part of the crowd who bullied me actually found me on Facebook and apologized for how he treated me. He admitted he'd been awful, and I hadn't deserved it. I was surprised, to say the least.
@kitarrah1422 I can't believe people can be so cruel. I'm so sorry. So so sorry. Your childhood was taken from you by monsters. The whole school? I'm mad.
And then there's self interested HR. 1. OP gamed the system by consulting an employment lawyer to find out how to present it. 2. His supervisor likes him, or likes his work and was sitting in the meeting. Having a Boss advocate you is good HR credit and keeps your issue from falling into the Abyss. 3. He got to HR first. Krista may have gotten to the water cooler first, but he got to HR first and had time to set the narrative.
Story 1: People who told OP not to report it are absolute idiots. Krista bullied OP in college when she was an adult and should have know better - the likely hood she grew up since then is small. Even still it’s better to cover your basis because your job is your livelihood. You can’t risk it hoping someone changed. I’m so glad the HR department took it seriously. Not only is she probably going to get fired but everyone knows who the evil gossips are. The fact that she found out OPs home address and went there with such laughable lies shows she’s still an idiot. Even if her BS about having a crush was true it doesn’t explain her gossiping about it after all this time at their job. Proud of OP for handling it well. I swear doorbell cams save the say.
Taking the story to HR is risky as hell if you only go in with a he said-she said story. Talking to the lawyer was a good idea. Getting people to back-up to the story, no strikes on your record from school etc makes all the difference because she could easily make it seem like your going to HR is just petty repayment for her rejecting you. I don't know the state but if legal, Id's surreptitiously record all conversations with her.
Story 1: this is why people get ahead of stories when it's anything in media. you set the narrative and make sure the other side doesn't do as much damage. letting it just happen is BAD. OP got ahead of the story, talked to HR and made sure it was clear......and just in time apparently.
It is amazing what you can get away with if you apologize to a client and give them an explanation before they even know something's wrong. If they bring it up, they have had time to panic, stew and get mad.
This. The "high road" is more along the lines of not taking retribution after the fact, being forgiving. It is NOT applicable when you are relating factual history that, if repeated, could lead to disruption of productivity now or in the near future. OP related facts indicating past behavior, so that IF it repeats, it can be recognized and handled appropriately quickly. Hopefully "high road" commenter learned the distinction. If Krista had grown up and did not do anything, it would have been filed away and forgotten, no harm, no foul. But no, she tried to pull a similar stunt again, and this time got her karma in spades.
@@wintermute9459 That's the problem though. Even back then, this sort of behavior wasn't liked, but no one wanted to say something because they didn't want to look out for their neighbors. Now it's becoming a prerogative.
Yeah the high road isn't not exposing back behavior, it's not going above that after things have been dealt with to try to harm. People need to stop acting like the "high road" is being a doormat
I said it once and i will say it again. Bullies do not change. The only thing that does change is their age and ability to hide their true colors from others
@@joimumu " nor the last time Krista is paying for her past." That's the problem, she ain't paying for her "past" If she'd kept her mouth shut in the present about her past, she wouldn't be in any trouble at all. Just a meeting with HR that the past needed to stay in the past, whcih she would have already been doing. She's in trouble for actively bringing her shit into the new workplace in the present.
@@LostSoulchild89she got away with it and thought she could continue her dumbass games in a professional setting. Hopefully the lesson sticks. I hope she didn’t bother decorating her workstation. Less to pack so soon after starting.
Story 1: Am i the only one who would have LOVED to hear how Krista spun the story as “a misunderstanding”? Like oh? You embarrassed Op by pretending to like him and then had your friends harass him? Walk me through that? Naw Op you did the right thing, clearly this woman peaked in college
Even if Krista might have changed there’s nothing wrong with OP laying the groundwork in order to protect himself. If she really has changed she’d understand where OP is coming from and have no issue owning up to her past actions. ETA: And wouldn’t you know it, Krista hasn’t changed. Shocking that a person that used someone, played a cruel prank on them, slandered them and bullied them for months on end hasn’t grown and continued to be a despicable person. I’m sure her crocodile tears might’ve saved her job but there’s no doubt that she’s on thin ice at the moment and she probably blames OP for it instead of taking accountability for her actions.
Agree and HR likes to have the information so they can be prepared and maybe make sure they won’t have to deal with each other at all luckily for Op Krista showed her true colours so she won’t be around much longer
I find it hilarious that Krista started talking about the incident right before OP talked to HR. I would have loved to be a fly on the wall to see her "oh fuck!" expression. The coworkers treating her coldly serves her right after the stunt she tried to pull. I'm putting money on that she will quit in the near future
Right? Seems like HR had no problem allowing a hostile work environment. The bully was just hired so it’s not like she’s proven herself as a good enough worker to give second and third chances to.
Story 1: Thank goodness he got ahead of the story to HR. It just shows some people take waaaay too long to grow up. His bully now has created a bad work environment for herself due to her immaturity. Self created karma.
S1: Just goes to show that they never learn, or grew up. I’m glad OP talked to HR about what he had with Krista in the past just so they’re aware. Even more glad that the higher ups were actually caring about their employees. No wonder she was sweating like a sinner in church. She was happily bragging to others before OP told them about what she did to him in the past and knew her goose was cooked. I also wanna add that it’s a good that Sandy was wanting to put a bit more salt on OP’s wounds, only for her wide mouth got both her and Krista caught immediately.
I would have fired Krista on the spot, and publicly, when Sandy spoke up. Creating a hostile work environment, bye. Conference room? Nah, just get your stuff and GTFO, I'm not even wasting my afternoon with that meeting.
It’s possible that firing her was considered, but could lead them to a wrongful termination suit. But, she will now have to walk on eggshells at work since she was outed as a bully. Complaints from OP or anyone else will be taken seriously. I’d be willing to bet that she’s out there floating her resume to other companies because her future with the one she’s at will be at best, bleak. Imagine having to ask for a reference from her HR supervisor for another position.
story 1 update: it makes sense why she was freaking out and shaking after the meeting cause she already told someone her bs version of what REALLY happened by then, it was at that moment she knew she fucked up...literally
1. Story: NTA With people like her it is better to be safe than sorry OP shouldn't listen to his "rational brain", the rational thing is to assume that she still is an AH that will stir shit Comments: What? No his instinct is stupid, it isn't "best" Also don't just go to HR when you are already burning, make sure you don't get set on fire by the arsonist Update: As I said, before the Update he already was NTA and justified in his Update the only thing that changed was he wasn't stupid and played safe NEVER assume someone like that changes that much
You're right LG, it definitely could concern the company and OP's performance. If Krista has changed and doesn't harass anyone then no harm, no foul. If she *does*, then it's on record that this is a pattern of behavior.
Story 1: Good on OP for getting ahead of this! I knew Krista wasn't going to change her stripes. Sure, sometimes bullies reform but anyone who is still bullying people in college probably isn't going to change
If you have had serious issues with someone in the past and they come to work at your company it's wise to let HR know so you don't get put on the same team or end as their manager or subordinate. Don't go in all guns blazing, but tell the truth and explain you would be uncomfortable working closely with them and it would affect your productivity and therefore indirectly the companies productivity. Then if there is an issue you are the sensible one trying to make things as easy as possible and have covered yourself.
boy oh BOY there is an update for S1 that OP literally JUST posted about 5 hours ago. To keep it brief, it appears krista's being 'shunned' by her coworkers atm. Last night, she showed up at OP's HOUSE to try to talk to OP, and OP told her to f-off. THEN she tried to spin the college incident like she had a crush on him but was "peer pressured" into pranking him instead (sure, jan). OP caught the entire thing on his doorbell camera and is sending it to his lawyer and will give it to his supervisor and HR TODAY. BAAAAHAHAHAHAHAAHA
11:08 "... looking pretty pissed and with a mustard stain on her shirt" OMG, someone help me. I'm ROTFLMAO! 12:00 Wow. Krista has just blown her credibility out the wazoo with roman candles and 50mm tracers.
I was pretty torn on OP1 before the update. I now see the power of getting ahead of the story to avoid poisoning the well. I'm surprised Krista would be stupid enough to tell the story after HR warned her. Or did she start spreading it before OP went to HR and he didn't know it was happening yet? Going to HR was the right move, and one that might have saved his butt. I'm glad he consulted the lawyer and got things handled.
It would explain why she was so shaken up about it all. She already screwed up bc she thought this was gonna be like college where she can bully whoever she wants
She likely was spreading it beforehand, which explains why she was acting so shaken up. But the gossip she told didn't get the memo about shutting up about it.
s2: NTA. who tf is MIL to barge in and demand OP's baby be exactly what *she* wants it to be? nope, this is where the line needs to be drawn. you do not give someone this comfortable undermining a parent's authority over their AS OF YET UNBORN CHILD a single inch.
The baby story with MILS insistance that the baby needs her last name is just wrong. If fiance insists on it and she breaks off the marriage what will stop them from taking the baby and leaving? She needs to see that and act on it.
Opneeds to keep a close eye on the birth certificate, and only she should fill it out. I wouldn't trust fiance not to cave into his moms demands. Also, in the future, don't tolerate mil calling baby by a different name jus don't let her near the kid if she does.
Lads it gets worse, there’s another update put up yesterday and there’ll probably be another at the weekend - Krista, now a workplace pariah, on her final warning AND on a PIP barely 2 weeks into employment, decides the next course of action is to go round OP’s house. He has a Ring, so he doesn’t let her in but still converses with her through the Ring, he’s like ‘this is harassment at this point, please leave’, and she’s like ‘I actually did have a crush on you, just ask Sandy, it’ll clear everything up’. She leaves, and he now has a recording of the exchange, which I believe his employment lawyer and HR were given a copy of as of yesterday, so chances are she’s now unemployed.
Buddying up to the nerd for homework help? Tell us without telling us that Krista peaked in HS! Very smart of OP, lawyering up. What a shock, Krista couldn't keep her rancid mouth shut. 2 weeks and she's already on HR's crap list, and she's stalking OP? Spread some butter on her, she's toast.
1st story: Krista is Still a Bully & has self esteem issues as she’s still putting others down to try to elevate herself. She needs to be fired as she’s opening up that company to a lawsuit
Story 1: It sounds like Krista immediately started talking crap about OP when she started the job. Clearly, she continued to be an awful person. OP made all of the right decisions, and Krista already disgraced herself. I doubt she'll be at that company long. No one will trust her from now on, and she already caused some of her coworkers to fall under HR's spotlight. The company will see her as a liability and wait for a chance to get rid of her. Any future layoffs? She's gone.
Story 1: (NTA) How long ago was college? PTSD? It doesn't matter, if you have any reason to talk to HR to start a paper trail to prevent a twisted story, making you the bad-guy, do it. Nothing will probably happened besides a written report of your claims at this point. Maybe Christa forgot about her bullying, some bullies who grow up do. Don't be petty, be civil with Christa, and don't ruin your reputation especially while talking to HR, be 100% factual, not talking about your feelings. Also, what companies are okay with hiring a known college bully? How vapid and shallow is your company? I like the "Practice what you tell HR until you sound bored" idea. Update: A great meeting with HR. Never trust the office gossip. Christa couldn't keep things professional. I have to wonder how long she'd keep the history a secret, one Christmas work party with a few drinks in her and she'd sing like a canary anyway. She just sped up the inevitable. Some bullies never grow up, they're still mentally 14-years-old when in their 30s. I wish I could be a fly on the wall in that final meeting with Christa. Also, the OP's supervisor is a real-life hero. Story 2: (NTA) It's such a weird demand. There's going to be a lot of confusion at doctor's appointments and later on in school about your child's parentage if you go through with it. I'd be going low-no contact with that MIL and get hubby on the same page. "She was going to go to the court to change Hubby's last name which I found hilarious because he's a grown adult" Don't let MIL around your baby, it's going to get worse once the baby is born. Grandparents' rights are complicated, look into that to. You don't have to put up with her controlling, pestering ways. Couple's counselling, you two need to get on the same page about a lot of things. Never marry a mama's boy. Can't MIL be okay with a middle name that's her first or middle name, like normal people? And where is FIL in all of this? Update: So FIL was absent and or abusive. So why didn't she change Hubby's last name when he was a kid? It's too late now. Sounds like a happy update but I wouldn't be too sure. I've heard other stories where the mama's boy played both sides, trying to wear down the OP while saying he was on her side and secretly texting his mum updates. Tell the nursing staff where you'll give birth who is and isn't allowed in the room too.
Wow, it's already hard to believe that there are still bullies once you get to college. I mean I know there's even adult bullies and whatnot out of college which has just always baffled me but what Krista did inviting him to the coffee shop and then video taping it is just something special. Just mind-boggling that somebody would go above and beyond to try and I guess hurt somebody like that. That's insane to me. She's seriously has mental issues
OP1: Krista should’ve told HR she had already spread the gossip mean girl style. She should’ve given them the names of the people she told so HR could’ve met with all of them. She’s a professional victim.
@@joimumu I can't tell you how many times I have seen that exact same thing where the person who was popular in high school or even college simply can't comprehend how nobody cares about that in the adult World.
I think that, unless the bullies seek the forgiveness of their old victims and do show that they changed, they don't deserve any pity or respect and should indeed be held liable for what they did and the type of person they were in the past.
Hey guys there was an update on the first story today!!!!! Basically there was a meeting with everyone to say that everyone is to remain professional. Krista seemed really removed from everyone socially. Rumors about her were saying that she is on her last warning even though she has only been there two weeks. But she came to OP’s house. She found his address SOMEHOW and said that she had a crush on him in college and her friends made fun of her for it which is why it turned into her and her friends harassing him (lol). OP had a doorbell camera and it caught the whole thing. He is going to give it to HR and she probably won’t last till the end of the week. This story will probably be updated again when she (probably) gets fired but that is just my guess.
The HR professional was not wrong. OP's HR didn't do anything to protect or support him. They Literally said "we never speak of this again" as in "we don't want any bad PR" that's all HR cares about. They are NOT your friend, they do NOT have your interests in mind at all, they only care about the company.
Story 2: NTA, you child's name is entirely up to you and your fiance, no one else gets any input (2 yeses, one no situation). A child should always share the same last name as the parents, so if when you marry and you are taking his last name the baby should also have his last name. I do see a potential issue in your relationship, you kind of hinted that your fiance is a mama boy.... If this is the case, you need to try and break him of that, or in the marriage his mother will always get a vote and he will always agree with her.
Story 2. Nta. She isn't entitled to ur child's name. If ur man doesn't stand up to his mother he never will. Leave that man... he will always bend to make her happy
Was the last commenter who said to not talk to HR in hopes it would go away or never come up an HR person?? If so, I feel for their company. This is clearly a HR person who does not want to do their job. 🤦🏻♀️
Story 1: Regardless of how the company viewed the bullying incident, the very fact that Krista can't follow simple instructions or keep her flying monkeys in line is indicator enough that she's not a good hire.
I think the coworker should also be warned and be put on some kind of disciplinary role because she cannot wait to go in front of this man and spread this horrible story. The coworker seems just as toxic and immature as Krista.
Story 1- OP did well to go this professionally, but still protect himself. Folks that bully in that particular manner never change into adulthood. Now I need another update on what the fallout of that day was like.
Story 2: If MIL was so disgusted at fiancee's father that she thought him having his last name was disrespectful, she should have gotten his name changed when he was a child.
Krista sounds like she peaked in high school and will tell anyone who will listen how awesome and popular she was back then 😂 Also, if Krista found OP’s address, OP might want to check who in the office told her where he lives.
Story 1: Even after the update, I still wonder what is that co-worker's end game? Her and OP are clearly not working in the same departments, so forcing him out brings no value other than stroking her own ego knowing "she got him" even after all these years. Then having the audacity to go to OP's place to "talk"? Yeah, no, this woman clearly has not left high school, which is kind of understandable, given the power she had over OP back then, especially with the little stunt she pulled to humiliate OP. For OP, my only advice is only tell when explicitly asked, or people will see you as a gossip like that co-worker of yours. Keep your head down, and as long as you show you are a valuable member of the team, that's the best victory against BS like that.
Story 1: I guarantee that Christa was so mad about that HR meeting that she started to spread rumors about what OP allegedly did but got caught red-handed because her coworkers were stupid. She’s probably venting and then got busted.
Nope, she'd already started spreading her version of the story before the HR meeting. The female coworker said she was told yesterday, so before the meeting.
FINAL UPDATE: Krista is fired. I didn't even have to send HR the doorbell cam vid, but I did send it to the lawyer I was talking to. Lawyer is drafting a cease and desist and potentially a restraining order if needed. Krista somehow got my address from someone in IT. The IT new hire is suspended because of this data breach and everyone got a memo about data security yesterday morning, including the usual about phishing scams. Krista's desk was empty when I came in yesterday morning, and since I'm taking the necessary legal steps, I'm considering this matter closed.
There’s an update just posted today: Krista is fired. I didn't even have to send HR the doorbell cam vid, but I did send it to the lawyer I was talking to. Lawyer is drafting a cease and desist and potentially a restraining order if needed. Krista somehow got my address from someone in IT. The IT new hire is suspended because of this data breach and everyone got a memo about data security yesterday morning, including the usual about phishing scams. Krista's desk was empty when I came in yesterday morning, and since I'm taking the necessary legal steps, I'm considering this matter closed.
2nd story. In the UK I don't think you could just pick a surname. We needed to provide ID to sign the register. Presumably that means you can only use the surnames that are in the IDs.
Using the mother's family name as a middle name used to be very common in the American South where family lineage was everything. My own maternal family used the mother's first name as a middle name for the first girl. It's extremely uncommon now. The MIL in this story sounds like a narc, not a Southern lady of a certain age. IF OP doesn't create a boundary NOW, her child will be raised by the MIL, and the marriage is doomed. The momma's boy husband needs therapy right now. And having the doctors, not OP and her husband, saying no only delays the inevitable.
Ten years is a long time for a mean girl to act professionally. I suspect HR got a whiff of previous issues when checking references but overlooked it because it wasn't documented behavior. So when OP came forward HR already knew it was something that could get out of control easily. It only takes one person to turn an office toxic. 21:03
Lastnames of absent fathers create many problems in child's life. School, ID's, passpprts, medical, etc. I've seen it with single moms whose father abandoned child after birth or a few monts later. Mothers had issues with taking their child on vacation out of the country without father's consent. The only solution was going to court and remove fathers last name and petition for guardianship and full custody. Father nowhere to be found. I think this MIL had issues unresolved and was portraying onto this new baby.
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So, there was an update a few hours ago, that I was posted after I had recorded the video, so unfortunately I didn't see it, but just in case...here it is:
Monday wasn't a shitshow, so that was good. My supervisor and the HR officer did bring everyone on the team into the big conference room for the HR officer said that we are a professional company, and while we do like to have fun(there are company outings like golf, bowling, Main Event) we are to be strictly professional and not gossip about other coworker's personal lives.
Sandy and the two other coworkers who were brought into the conference room Friday looked pretty ashamed during this. Krista was sitting at the other end of the conference room table and there seemed to be a noticeable distance between her and the other employees. My supervisor said he wants to consider this matter closed and for us to get back to offering great solutions to our clients. Everyone filed out of the conference room and went back to work.
Lunch on Monday was pretty tense, but Tuesday management had a local Mexican place bring in a 'Taco Tuesday' for us, and the mood improved considerably. I don't gossip, but I did hear murmurs that Krista is now on her final warning and put on a Performance Improvement Plan, all within her first two weeks.
Not sure how true these rumors are, but with how isolated Krista now appears to be to the rest of the team, it is clear that everyone else is not willing to socialize with her beyond their work functions.
I considered this matter closed myself, and if Krista worked hard and got her redemption arc, I'd have been fine with it. But then last night happened.
Not sure where Krista got my address, but she was outside my house last night, and luckily my doorbell camera caught it, so I can pretty accurately transcribe it. She rung and asked if we could talk. I said through the digital doorbell there was nothing to talk about, and she better leave because this is now harassment. She pleaded for me to come outside and discuss it. I declined and emphasized she's not welcome.
She then said she had a crush on me in college, that her friends found out she asked me to coffee and pressured her to turn it into a harassment campaign and she was afraid of them disowning her for liking a 'guy like me'.
Guys, I wanted to laugh so fucking hard. I was socially awkward back in college, but even I knew this was bullshit. Hell, I wasn't even interested in Krista for a date; I thought she wanted to be my friend. I told her that I didn't care what she has to say, she has to leave. She told me I could just ask Sandy what she told her and it would 'clear this all up'. I declined and said that this matter in the office is closed.
Krista finally made an exaggerated sigh and walked off. I took the video recording from the doorbell and sent it to the employment lawyer and will give it to my supervisor and HR today. I will be shocked if she will last longer than this Friday now.
Can I please get the link to the reddit story? I would like to follow up if there are further updates... This is something similar to what I have experienced in my own workplace...
if there are more interesting updates in the future for this one, i hope you can make a video
I don't believe Krista's BS story about a crush. Glad OP sent that video off to his lawyer. HR needs to find out who gave out OP's address to this deranged woman and get them in trouble too. As for OP, he better get ready to contact the police because once Krista is fired(it is inevitable), she is going to stalk him.
Even if this is true, OP still dodged a bullet-imagine dating a woman who could be this easily manipulated
What a crazy .ady Krista is.
You know it's bad when even 10 years later, instead of saying "sorry, that was wrong of me, I'm very ashamed" she goes "it was just a misunderstanding. Lady, you don't invite a guy on a fake date so you can take a picture and plaster it all over campus as a misunderstanding. Friggin mean girl shit.
Regina George vibes, complete with The Plastics.
"it was just a misunderstanding." a classic cheater/narc line. Also, how hard is it to say "What happens in HR meetings stays in HR meetings." and move on? Krista had to gossip about it despite the advice she got.
Yeah, I'd believe the crush story if it were presented as part of an apology and she wasn't talking with other coworkers about it like it was a "funny story"
Story 1: *"You two. Conference room. NOW!".*
Krista must not be too smart. She should have apologized and try to keep her head down as a new hire. Not telling a bunch of new coworkers, at her new job, stories of her bullying someone who has worked there for longer and has seniority. Pfft. Some people never grew.
Strikes me as the kind of person who needs a posse of gossipy brainlets to feel good about herself. She already tried crafting one by spreading the word around before being told off by HR.
People have been fired for less where I used work, y'know.
I would want to fire her purely on the basis of her being a moron.
I'm not sure that is what she told them. It seemed that it was said prior to the HR meeting. So she could have been saying how, "he was the fat loser that asked me out and I rejected him. He was a real creep," type o' story. A pre-emptive spin. Never suspecting he was already on his way to HR.
I'll bet a mil she was spinning her tale to the coworkers to "get them on her side" and hr and manager contacted all employees she talked to and then Reached out to the contacts to get the real story and called her out as the liar she is. I bet she though OP was like her and was going to build an army againt her. Well she's not too bright so hopefully all ends well.
She sounds like one of those people who has gone her entire life without ever suffering real consequences for her actions. Look at how quickly she went against what HR told them both and not spreading this story around the workplace. It's like she had absolutely no fear of getting into trouble.
Story 1: Mark covered this yesterday and as everyone said on there Krista probably looked panicked in that HR meeting because she had already started spreading the story.
That was my POV too, given than more than one co-worker was yoinked into that second meeting and they all looked pissed coming out. She was shown to be a vindictive gossip who can and would spread lies and twist facts to make others look bad. even if she keeps her job she's going to be the outsider as long as she works there.
yes, Krista is still a bully, and at least one other coworker is a stupid gossip, possibly bully. The issue with people like Krista is they take other people down with them when they get caught. I am sure all those people were written up/put on warning and Krista was told she is now on probation.
Krista has shown her hand and now the company and her coworkers are aware of who she is. Especially the coworkers now know that to associate with Krista may put their own jobs at risk.
@@MrJpaynebb And I guarantee that the higher ups probably told her that this is her last warning, and that one more shit stirring from her and she's out the door! And I doubt that will bode well for her resume! Correct me if I'm wrong, but if you get fired from one job and apply for a new one, doesn't the employer have to call your previous one to ask questions about you?
@@elizabethescalante8114yep that’s correct. In the uk you can’t say anything bad in a reference so what they say is “We wish such and such well with their future endeavours” and nothing else. In a normal reference they put a lot of stuff about what you did and how good you are so so that silence speaks volumes!
Anyone else who noticed in the first story it?
Nobody? Sandy said yesterday?! Yesterday?!?! So before the meeting!
That snake realized who he was and started to tell some people.
She probably was so shocked because she then knew she fucked up :/
Yep. Notice how she also didn't warn HR that she had already begun telling people. My guess is she was hoping to go talk to those women before anything got out and tell them to not say anything but it was too late. Her goose was damn near cooked.
@@justinswinehart5361 My money is that she was also hoping they wouldn't spread the story around. But when the co-worker bold as brass started blabbing she was screwed.
@@rebeccaabram2312 yeah honestly that was hilarious. I truly appreciate The quality of his boss. Didn't even let that lady finish her statement. Just boom we're solving this right damn now.
Yeah, that's why Krista was nervous when she first got called to HR. She thought the gossip had already caught back up with her! Then probably felt she had gotten away with it when they broke for lunch... only to have the consequences finally blow up in her face! Honestly hilarious how that played out. Glad OP went to HR when he did.
I had to go back and hear it twice to be sure but yeah. Woman didn’t even think twice about pulling this HS mean girl BS at work. She’s going to make herself unhirable.
The REAL idiot in the story is the coworker who couldn't WAIT to repeat a story from someone she hardly knew. She seems like the toxic type that will take every opportunity to stab someone in the back. I wouldn't trust her in any situation. She needs to be out the door shortly after Krista.
Astute observation.
You have no idea what story she was told.
Though the blabbermouth did OP a solid.
Running her mouth helped OP but condemned her because everyone knows not to trust her. If she’s not fired she’ll probably have to move on because she has a reputation.
We don't know what story she was told. It could have been an actually funny and harmless story. Krista is definitely not trustworthy.
It doesn’t sound like Krista changed at all if she was telling the story to her new coworkers. Her “mean girl” behaviour was childish back in college, now it’s downright pathetic as a supposed grown adult with a job.
Ikr, she’s obviously not matured (neither has Sandy tbh) she was a loser in college pulling this crap, and doing it as an adult at work is pathetic, I doubt she’s going to last long, especially with LG’s update in the comments, and it’s going to hurt her chances of getting hired also if she got fired after less than a month.
Pretending that she didn't recognise the OP and spreading gossip within a day of working there. So calculating but also so impulsive.
Krista peaked in high school.
University/College
Middle school.
@josepherhardt164 Agreed this is middle school shit can’t believe a bunch of middle school brained people made it to college/university
One of my first jobs out of college was with a guy I went to high school with. We didn't move in the same circles usually, but we did come across one another several times in high school.
The dude saw me and all he wanted to do was "relive" our high school years. I thought it and him were crazy. I grew out of "high school" when I went to college and I grew out of "college" when I got my first adult job.
I didn't really understand his deal for wanting to relive the good old days of high school but a co-worker told me it was because those years were the best of that dude's life and everything else for him would just be downhill. He said the dude peaked in high school and the day he graduated his life would pretty much suck LOL.
The guy I graduated with didn't last more than 2 months at that job and I found out it was like his 8th from the time we graduated high school. He tried college but it didn't work out for him so he pretty much just jumped from job to job, many of them that employed high school kids, and then he just hung around the new batch of Seniors in our old high school every year LOL.
I felt sorry for him. Peaking in high school, yuk.
She's mentally 14-years-old
Traveling with a child that has a different last name from BOTH parents would be a nightmare
Cackling at Krista coming out of the meeting crying. FAFO
She just made her workplace a lot tougher.
@@robinkholmes7127 she screwed herself. Even the gossipers don't want to be near her
Story 1: Krista just discovered that her new PM job has an expiration date. She walked into a new job and started fucking around. The find out stage was swift! Maybe she shouldn't use this job as a reference on that next job hunt. 😂
OP handled it right getting lawyer's advice. HR cares about protecting company not workers but it's better to be on advance then in retreat. Krista could have seriously messed his life up if he let her have initiative.
Yeah. That was a consult worth TWICE the lawyer's hourly fee.
First rule of HR: The first strike ALWAYS win. Once you put them in a position where you CAN sue them into oblivion they take your side. If OP had not told them he would be punished.
Always start a paper trail early
I've seen that backfire. So the first strike doesn't always win.
Kinda depends on which person is the one who goes first.
@@lina9535 The exception doesn't make the rule.
That “HR person” sounds like they don’t actually know shot about HR or paper trails
Props to that Supervisor stopping the situation in real time. We have too few people in management who are aware and take action like that when warranted. OP not only did the right thing just in time, he has found a great place to work!
As someone who was bullied badly in middle school, I would always be willing to forgive a bully who owned up to their behavior and apologized. Sadly they never do and Krista is proof that some bully’s never change
As long ago as it was, I have never forgotten the girl who bullied me for awhile in primary school. These things stay in the frontal lobe. I have, on occasion, imagined meeting her in a semi-professional capacity so she could see how well life turned out for me. Petty I know, but it's just a thought I have every once in awhile.
I was bullied all through school, every day, by nearly everyone. It was horrible. There were times that I had thoughts of ending it, but I didn't, because I wasn't going to give them the satisfaction. Interestingly enough, one of the boys who was part of the crowd who bullied me actually found me on Facebook and apologized for how he treated me. He admitted he'd been awful, and I hadn't deserved it. I was surprised, to say the least.
@@hilaryc3203she's probably in a trailer park and the outcast there
@kitarrah1422 I can't believe people can be so cruel. I'm so sorry. So so sorry. Your childhood was taken from you by monsters. The whole school? I'm mad.
@@leafyishereisdumbnameakath4259 aw, thank you. Yeah, I often wonder what my life would have been like if I hadn't had that happen to me.
There’s good HR and bad HR out there. OP is very fortunate.
That and he already talked to a lawyer about it 😂
And then there's self interested HR. 1. OP gamed the system by consulting an employment lawyer to find out how to present it. 2. His supervisor likes him, or likes his work and was sitting in the meeting. Having a Boss advocate you is good HR credit and keeps your issue from falling into the Abyss. 3. He got to HR first. Krista may have gotten to the water cooler first, but he got to HR first and had time to set the narrative.
@@wintermute9459 1) Yep, I agree, talking with lawyer is always good
2) His employer only care about not getting sued
3) good move too
For story 1: FINALLY - someone who doesn't do the stupid "take the high road" strategy!
Imagine if he took the advice from that HR Person. I'm glad he consulted with a lawyer first.
In fairness, it was probably the lawyer that made HR be on his side.
Story 1: People who told OP not to report it are absolute idiots. Krista bullied OP in college when she was an adult and should have know better - the likely hood she grew up since then is small. Even still it’s better to cover your basis because your job is your livelihood. You can’t risk it hoping someone changed.
I’m so glad the HR department took it seriously. Not only is she probably going to get fired but everyone knows who the evil gossips are. The fact that she found out OPs home address and went there with such laughable lies shows she’s still an idiot. Even if her BS about having a crush was true it doesn’t explain her gossiping about it after all this time at their job.
Proud of OP for handling it well. I swear doorbell cams save the say.
Krista's brain is still stuck in college apparently. Couldn't imagine being 33 years old and still wanting to harass someone like that.
Heck. She's stuck in middle school!
Taking the story to HR is risky as hell if you only go in with a he said-she said story. Talking to the lawyer was a good idea. Getting people to back-up to the story, no strikes on your record from school etc makes all the difference because she could easily make it seem like your going to HR is just petty repayment for her rejecting you. I don't know the state but if legal, Id's surreptitiously record all conversations with her.
Story 1: this is why people get ahead of stories when it's anything in media. you set the narrative and make sure the other side doesn't do as much damage. letting it just happen is BAD.
OP got ahead of the story, talked to HR and made sure it was clear......and just in time apparently.
It is amazing what you can get away with if you apologize to a client and give them an explanation before they even know something's wrong. If they bring it up, they have had time to panic, stew and get mad.
Lol I bet that commentor who told OP to take the 'high road' feels like a fool
This.
The "high road" is more along the lines of not taking retribution after the fact, being forgiving. It is NOT applicable when you are relating factual history that, if repeated, could lead to disruption of productivity now or in the near future. OP related facts indicating past behavior, so that IF it repeats, it can be recognized and handled appropriately quickly. Hopefully "high road" commenter learned the distinction.
If Krista had grown up and did not do anything, it would have been filed away and forgotten, no harm, no foul. But no, she tried to pull a similar stunt again, and this time got her karma in spades.
@@TechnoMageB5 exactly
I get flashbacks of the Brady Bunch, "Now Cindy, no one like's a tattle tale!" Different era... now we're in "see something, say something"
@@wintermute9459 That's the problem though. Even back then, this sort of behavior wasn't liked, but no one wanted to say something because they didn't want to look out for their neighbors. Now it's becoming a prerogative.
Yeah the high road isn't not exposing back behavior, it's not going above that after things have been dealt with to try to harm. People need to stop acting like the "high road" is being a doormat
Story 1 - I suspect that OP was correct to get the advice of an employment lawyer. I wouldn't have thought to line up witnesses from college days.
I said it once and i will say it again.
Bullies do not change. The only thing that does change is their age and ability to hide their true colors from others
Agree the only thing that does change is that some of them wise up and pick another victim
Story 1 looks like krista will be out of there in no time.
Agree this is not the first time nor the last time Krista is paying for her past
@@LostSoulchild89 Mean genes and stupid genes are adjacent on the DNA string.
@@joimumu " nor the last time Krista is paying for her past." That's the problem, she ain't paying for her "past" If she'd kept her mouth shut in the present about her past, she wouldn't be in any trouble at all. Just a meeting with HR that the past needed to stay in the past, whcih she would have already been doing. She's in trouble for actively bringing her shit into the new workplace in the present.
@@LostSoulchild89she got away with it and thought she could continue her dumbass games in a professional setting. Hopefully the lesson sticks.
I hope she didn’t bother decorating her workstation. Less to pack so soon after starting.
I wonder how many other workplaces are filled with her other victims from college.
Story 1: Am i the only one who would have LOVED to hear how Krista spun the story as “a misunderstanding”? Like oh? You embarrassed Op by pretending to like him and then had your friends harass him? Walk me through that?
Naw Op you did the right thing, clearly this woman peaked in college
I'm surprised she didn't use the "it's just a prank" line.
Even if Krista might have changed there’s nothing wrong with OP laying the groundwork in order to protect himself. If she really has changed she’d understand where OP is coming from and have no issue owning up to her past actions.
ETA: And wouldn’t you know it, Krista hasn’t changed. Shocking that a person that used someone, played a cruel prank on them, slandered them and bullied them for months on end hasn’t grown and continued to be a despicable person. I’m sure her crocodile tears might’ve saved her job but there’s no doubt that she’s on thin ice at the moment and she probably blames OP for it instead of taking accountability for her actions.
Agree and HR likes to have the information so they can be prepared and maybe make sure they won’t have to deal with each other at all luckily for Op Krista showed her true colours so she won’t be around much longer
Start paper trails early, whoever starts talking first is often believed in these situations.
First time this mean girl received the consequences of her actions and had a hard limit set that was enforced.
Krysta learned that high school/college bullying shennanigans don't work in the business world. She was warned, she FAFO'd bigtime. 😅
I find it hilarious that Krista started talking about the incident right before OP talked to HR. I would have loved to be a fly on the wall to see her "oh fuck!" expression.
The coworkers treating her coldly serves her right after the stunt she tried to pull. I'm putting money on that she will quit in the near future
Story 1: Mean Girl already spreading rumors. Why would the company keep her?
She will spin it as she got canned because “her” school bully got her fired.
Right? Seems like HR had no problem allowing a hostile work environment. The bully was just hired so it’s not like she’s proven herself as a good enough worker to give second and third chances to.
Story 1: Thank goodness he got ahead of the story to HR. It just shows some people take waaaay too long to grow up. His bully now has created a bad work environment for herself due to her immaturity. Self created karma.
It's more like he got ahead before the story could spread further
S1: Just goes to show that they never learn, or grew up. I’m glad OP talked to HR about what he had with Krista in the past just so they’re aware. Even more glad that the higher ups were actually caring about their employees. No wonder she was sweating like a sinner in church. She was happily bragging to others before OP told them about what she did to him in the past and knew her goose was cooked. I also wanna add that it’s a good that Sandy was wanting to put a bit more salt on OP’s wounds, only for her wide mouth got both her and Krista caught immediately.
"sweating like a sinner in church"
Sinners don't sweat in church. They know it's all a scam. Which it is.
I would have fired Krista on the spot, and publicly, when Sandy spoke up. Creating a hostile work environment, bye. Conference room? Nah, just get your stuff and GTFO, I'm not even wasting my afternoon with that meeting.
Might not have been an at-will state
It’s possible that firing her was considered, but could lead them to a wrongful termination suit. But, she will now have to walk on eggshells at work since she was outed as a bully. Complaints from OP or anyone else will be taken seriously. I’d be willing to bet that she’s out there floating her resume to other companies because her future with the one she’s at will be at best, bleak. Imagine having to ask for a reference from her HR supervisor for another position.
story 1 update: it makes sense why she was freaking out and shaking after the meeting cause she already told someone her bs version of what REALLY happened by then, it was at that moment she knew she fucked up...literally
1. Story: NTA
With people like her it is better to be safe than sorry
OP shouldn't listen to his "rational brain", the rational thing is to assume that she still is an AH that will stir shit
Comments:
What? No his instinct is stupid, it isn't "best"
Also don't just go to HR when you are already burning, make sure you don't get set on fire by the arsonist
Update:
As I said, before the Update he already was NTA and justified in his Update the only thing that changed was he wasn't stupid and played safe
NEVER assume someone like that changes that much
Sounds like Krista was starting to setup her work “mean girl clique”; it’s great OP was proactive; and great job by OP’s colleagues
@@yoopwi1amazing the lengths of evil that wxist
You're right LG, it definitely could concern the company and OP's performance. If Krista has changed and doesn't harass anyone then no harm, no foul. If she *does*, then it's on record that this is a pattern of behavior.
Story 1: Good on OP for getting ahead of this! I knew Krista wasn't going to change her stripes. Sure, sometimes bullies reform but anyone who is still bullying people in college probably isn't going to change
If you have had serious issues with someone in the past and they come to work at your company it's wise to let HR know so you don't get put on the same team or end as their manager or subordinate. Don't go in all guns blazing, but tell the truth and explain you would be uncomfortable working closely with them and it would affect your productivity and therefore indirectly the companies productivity. Then if there is an issue you are the sensible one trying to make things as easy as possible and have covered yourself.
S2- If SO is able to stand up to MIL to keep FIL's last name himself, he shouldn't be hemming and hawing about what name the baby gets!
Story 2- her fiancé should have said something to his mother. It’s always weird that the soon to be husband waits til the last minute to do something.
boy oh BOY there is an update for S1 that OP literally JUST posted about 5 hours ago.
To keep it brief, it appears krista's being 'shunned' by her coworkers atm.
Last night, she showed up at OP's HOUSE to try to talk to OP, and OP told her to f-off.
THEN she tried to spin the college incident like she had a crush on him but was "peer pressured" into pranking him instead (sure, jan).
OP caught the entire thing on his doorbell camera and is sending it to his lawyer and will give it to his supervisor and HR TODAY.
BAAAAHAHAHAHAHAAHA
11:08 "... looking pretty pissed and with a mustard stain on her shirt" OMG, someone help me. I'm ROTFLMAO!
12:00 Wow. Krista has just blown her credibility out the wazoo with roman candles and 50mm tracers.
I was pretty torn on OP1 before the update. I now see the power of getting ahead of the story to avoid poisoning the well. I'm surprised Krista would be stupid enough to tell the story after HR warned her. Or did she start spreading it before OP went to HR and he didn't know it was happening yet? Going to HR was the right move, and one that might have saved his butt. I'm glad he consulted the lawyer and got things handled.
It would explain why she was so shaken up about it all. She already screwed up bc she thought this was gonna be like college where she can bully whoever she wants
She was spreading the story before the meeting
She likely was spreading it beforehand, which explains why she was acting so shaken up. But the gossip she told didn't get the memo about shutting up about it.
s2: NTA. who tf is MIL to barge in and demand OP's baby be exactly what *she* wants it to be? nope, this is where the line needs to be drawn. you do not give someone this comfortable undermining a parent's authority over their AS OF YET UNBORN CHILD a single inch.
S1, did these people know the meaning of the word creep? 😮 Telling HR asap would be proactive and preferred!
The baby story with MILS insistance that the baby needs her last name is just wrong. If fiance insists on it and she breaks off the marriage what will stop them from taking the baby and leaving? She needs to see that and act on it.
Opneeds to keep a close eye on the birth certificate, and only she should fill it out. I wouldn't trust fiance not to cave into his moms demands. Also, in the future, don't tolerate mil calling baby by a different name jus don't let her near the kid if she does.
Story 1: Krista isn't the sharpest shed in the tool 😂😂😂
Lads it gets worse, there’s another update put up yesterday and there’ll probably be another at the weekend - Krista, now a workplace pariah, on her final warning AND on a PIP barely 2 weeks into employment, decides the next course of action is to go round OP’s house. He has a Ring, so he doesn’t let her in but still converses with her through the Ring, he’s like ‘this is harassment at this point, please leave’, and she’s like ‘I actually did have a crush on you, just ask Sandy, it’ll clear everything up’. She leaves, and he now has a recording of the exchange, which I believe his employment lawyer and HR were given a copy of as of yesterday, so chances are she’s now unemployed.
Interesting stories with good endings. Glad both OPs got the support they needed to make it through their respective situations!
He was right to be concerned about her! She’s so freaking awful!
HR needs to know. This gives you some protection. She may not have grown up and will try to get you fired.
Story 1
The moment HR hears lawyers and it might be against the company you best believe something will happen REAL FAST 😂
Buddying up to the nerd for homework help? Tell us without telling us that Krista peaked in HS! Very smart of OP, lawyering up. What a shock, Krista couldn't keep her rancid mouth shut. 2 weeks and she's already on HR's crap list, and she's stalking OP? Spread some butter on her, she's toast.
1st story: Krista is Still a Bully & has self esteem issues as she’s still putting others down to try to elevate herself. She needs to be fired as she’s opening up that company to a lawsuit
Story 1: It sounds like Krista immediately started talking crap about OP when she started the job. Clearly, she continued to be an awful person. OP made all of the right decisions, and Krista already disgraced herself. I doubt she'll be at that company long. No one will trust her from now on, and she already caused some of her coworkers to fall under HR's spotlight. The company will see her as a liability and wait for a chance to get rid of her. Any future layoffs? She's gone.
Story 1: (NTA) How long ago was college? PTSD? It doesn't matter, if you have any reason to talk to HR to start a paper trail to prevent a twisted story, making you the bad-guy, do it. Nothing will probably happened besides a written report of your claims at this point. Maybe Christa forgot about her bullying, some bullies who grow up do. Don't be petty, be civil with Christa, and don't ruin your reputation especially while talking to HR, be 100% factual, not talking about your feelings. Also, what companies are okay with hiring a known college bully? How vapid and shallow is your company? I like the "Practice what you tell HR until you sound bored" idea.
Update: A great meeting with HR. Never trust the office gossip. Christa couldn't keep things professional. I have to wonder how long she'd keep the history a secret, one Christmas work party with a few drinks in her and she'd sing like a canary anyway. She just sped up the inevitable. Some bullies never grow up, they're still mentally 14-years-old when in their 30s. I wish I could be a fly on the wall in that final meeting with Christa. Also, the OP's supervisor is a real-life hero.
Story 2: (NTA) It's such a weird demand. There's going to be a lot of confusion at doctor's appointments and later on in school about your child's parentage if you go through with it. I'd be going low-no contact with that MIL and get hubby on the same page. "She was going to go to the court to change Hubby's last name which I found hilarious because he's a grown adult" Don't let MIL around your baby, it's going to get worse once the baby is born. Grandparents' rights are complicated, look into that to. You don't have to put up with her controlling, pestering ways. Couple's counselling, you two need to get on the same page about a lot of things. Never marry a mama's boy. Can't MIL be okay with a middle name that's her first or middle name, like normal people? And where is FIL in all of this?
Update: So FIL was absent and or abusive. So why didn't she change Hubby's last name when he was a kid? It's too late now. Sounds like a happy update but I wouldn't be too sure. I've heard other stories where the mama's boy played both sides, trying to wear down the OP while saying he was on her side and secretly texting his mum updates. Tell the nursing staff where you'll give birth who is and isn't allowed in the room too.
i cannot beLIEVE krista told a co-worker that story at all. to quote charlotte dobre, "ARE YOU NOT EMBARRASSED???"
WOW HR and a boss actually helping someone
Happy Wednesday!
Happy Wednesday 🎊 here for tea 🫖
Still liking the vids before I watch since I always know it'll be quality! 😂❤
Story 1 I can't believe that Krista was pulling that nonsense in college! College!?
Easiest solution is to say, "My kid, my last name"
Wow, it's already hard to believe that there are still bullies once you get to college. I mean I know there's even adult bullies and whatnot out of college which has just always baffled me but what Krista did inviting him to the coffee shop and then video taping it is just something special. Just mind-boggling that somebody would go above and beyond to try and I guess hurt somebody like that. That's insane to me. She's seriously has mental issues
Op should have said "a date? What date? Who said it was a date? I thought you needed more help with the stuff you can't do".
Damn, I was hoping this one had an extra update
OP1: Krista should’ve told HR she had already spread the gossip mean girl style.
She should’ve given them the names of the people she told so HR could’ve met with all of them.
She’s a professional victim.
Krista really did not waste any time in immediately going against the instructions of HR
Sandy said she was told yesterday. And because a bunch of people were brought in, she told quite a few people. She wont last long
She probably thought she had the same power she had in school
@@joimumu I can't tell you how many times I have seen that exact same thing where the person who was popular in high school or even college simply can't comprehend how nobody cares about that in the adult World.
So the HR professional was the only one in the comments saying to not say anything? How HR of them 😂
Im glad OP didnt listen to the so called HR rep in the comments
Better to CYA than take chances
I think that, unless the bullies seek the forgiveness of their old victims and do show that they changed, they don't deserve any pity or respect and should indeed be held liable for what they did and the type of person they were in the past.
bullies always remember their victims and are willing to continue the campaign
Hey guys there was an update on the first story today!!!!!
Basically there was a meeting with everyone to say that everyone is to remain professional. Krista seemed really removed from everyone socially. Rumors about her were saying that she is on her last warning even though she has only been there two weeks. But she came to OP’s house. She found his address SOMEHOW and said that she had a crush on him in college and her friends made fun of her for it which is why it turned into her and her friends harassing him (lol). OP had a doorbell camera and it caught the whole thing. He is going to give it to HR and she probably won’t last till the end of the week. This story will probably be updated again when she (probably) gets fired but that is just my guess.
The HR professional was not wrong. OP's HR didn't do anything to protect or support him. They Literally said "we never speak of this again" as in "we don't want any bad PR" that's all HR cares about. They are NOT your friend, they do NOT have your interests in mind at all, they only care about the company.
Story 2: NTA, you child's name is entirely up to you and your fiance, no one else gets any input (2 yeses, one no situation). A child should always share the same last name as the parents, so if when you marry and you are taking his last name the baby should also have his last name.
I do see a potential issue in your relationship, you kind of hinted that your fiance is a mama boy.... If this is the case, you need to try and break him of that, or in the marriage his mother will always get a vote and he will always agree with her.
She fed around and found out. Found out that the adult world is very different from the college one.
Story 2. Nta. She isn't entitled to ur child's name. If ur man doesn't stand up to his mother he never will. Leave that man... he will always bend to make her happy
Story one: always c.y.a. cover your ass. Get ahead of this to protect your career.
Was the last commenter who said to not talk to HR in hopes it would go away or never come up an HR person?? If so, I feel for their company. This is clearly a HR person who does not want to do their job. 🤦🏻♀️
Story 1: Regardless of how the company viewed the bullying incident, the very fact that Krista can't follow simple instructions or keep her flying monkeys in line is indicator enough that she's not a good hire.
I think the coworker should also be warned and be put on some kind of disciplinary role because she cannot wait to go in front of this man and spread this horrible story. The coworker seems just as toxic and immature as Krista.
Story 1- OP did well to go this professionally, but still protect himself. Folks that bully in that particular manner never change into adulthood.
Now I need another update on what the fallout of that day was like.
Funny thing is she was already an adult when she bullied him originally anyway. No reason to assume she changed at all and right to assume so
Story 2. Ladies, when you see a mama’s boy, RUN!
I do wonder what Krista told Sally
Story 2: If MIL was so disgusted at fiancee's father that she thought him having his last name was disrespectful, she should have gotten his name changed when he was a child.
Krista sounds like she peaked in high school and will tell anyone who will listen how awesome and popular she was back then 😂
Also, if Krista found OP’s address, OP might want to check who in the office told her where he lives.
Story 1: Even after the update, I still wonder what is that co-worker's end game? Her and OP are clearly not working in the same departments, so forcing him out brings no value other than stroking her own ego knowing "she got him" even after all these years. Then having the audacity to go to OP's place to "talk"? Yeah, no, this woman clearly has not left high school, which is kind of understandable, given the power she had over OP back then, especially with the little stunt she pulled to humiliate OP.
For OP, my only advice is only tell when explicitly asked, or people will see you as a gossip like that co-worker of yours. Keep your head down, and as long as you show you are a valuable member of the team, that's the best victory against BS like that.
S1: The best offense is defense. And this was proof.
wait whaaaat i want to know more about the bullt story 😭😭
Story 1: I guarantee that Christa was so mad about that HR meeting that she started to spread rumors about what OP allegedly did but got caught red-handed because her coworkers were stupid. She’s probably venting and then got busted.
Nope, she'd already started spreading her version of the story before the HR meeting. The female coworker said she was told yesterday, so before the meeting.
FINAL UPDATE:
Krista is fired. I didn't even have to send HR the doorbell cam vid, but I did send it to the lawyer I was talking to. Lawyer is drafting a cease and desist and potentially a restraining order if needed.
Krista somehow got my address from someone in IT. The IT new hire is suspended because of this data breach and everyone got a memo about data security yesterday morning, including the usual about phishing scams. Krista's desk was empty when I came in yesterday morning, and since I'm taking the necessary legal steps, I'm considering this matter closed.
There’s an update just posted today:
Krista is fired. I didn't even have to send HR the doorbell cam vid, but I did send it to the lawyer I was talking to. Lawyer is drafting a cease and desist and potentially a restraining order if needed.
Krista somehow got my address from someone in IT. The IT new hire is suspended because of this data breach and everyone got a memo about data security yesterday morning, including the usual about phishing scams. Krista's desk was empty when I came in yesterday morning, and since I'm taking the necessary legal steps, I'm considering this matter closed.
2nd story. In the UK I don't think you could just pick a surname. We needed to provide ID to sign the register. Presumably that means you can only use the surnames that are in the IDs.
Using the mother's family name as a middle name used to be very common in the American South where family lineage was everything. My own maternal family used the mother's first name as a middle name for the first girl. It's extremely uncommon now. The MIL in this story sounds like a narc, not a Southern lady of a certain age. IF OP doesn't create a boundary NOW, her child will be raised by the MIL, and the marriage is doomed. The momma's boy husband needs therapy right now. And having the doctors, not OP and her husband, saying no only delays the inevitable.
Ten years is a long time for a mean girl to act professionally. I suspect HR got a whiff of previous issues when checking references but overlooked it because it wasn't documented behavior. So when OP came forward HR already knew it was something that could get out of control easily. It only takes one person to turn an office toxic. 21:03
Lastnames of absent fathers create many problems in child's life. School, ID's, passpprts, medical, etc. I've seen it with single moms whose father abandoned child after birth or a few monts later. Mothers had issues with taking their child on vacation out of the country without father's consent. The only solution was going to court and remove fathers last name and petition for guardianship and full custody. Father nowhere to be found. I think this MIL had issues unresolved and was portraying onto this new baby.
Story 2 NO is a complete sentence!
12:18 Every time you're in a room with Krista pull out your phone and start recording! Whatever she says you've got it!😊