1st story: That man is a real father. I'm glad OP defended his daughter and is doing his best to protect and take care of her. Her momster is just flat out repulsive. At least one of her parents has her back.
I'm concerned over what else her mother has done to poor Phoebe, given her abandonment issues weren't just from her bio dad's death. Phoebe is in separate therapy for cPTSD, which I have because of my narc mother's raising of me.
While I agree with the sentiment, mother is a statement of fact. I made a saying some time back when I needed to explain my relationship with my mother to friends of mine: "Mother" and "Father" are statements of fact, "Mom" and "Dad" are titles you earn.
I think it's telling that mother might of been horrible by the start. What Is happening now makes me think this is probably why she was divorce in the first place.
Story 2: that's a lot of effort just to cheat so why even bother getting engaged? He obviously doesn't want to be in a monogamous relationship. Why waste someone's time and life?
Some people want to have it all; the comfort and stability of a married life and partner, but also the adrenaline and oxytocin-filled rush of an illicit affair. It's the forbidden fruit allure, and having to sneak around their partner's back and the risk of possibly getting caught adds to the rush. There's a very common emotional dynamic you see in cheaters; the official partner does all the physical and emotional caretaking and labor (bills, housekeeping, child-rearing, dealing with problems, and general adulting), so Cheater McHoepants gets those needs taken care of, but they save the fun part of a relationship (honeymoon/butterflies stage) for their affair partner. And often times, when the AP becomes their primary partner, the two cheaters fall out of love very quickly, because the dynamics of their relationship has now changed. No more forbidden fruit rush, just adulting, so those unions seldom last, and often get very ugly, very quickly. What's worse, is that both cheaters KNOW the other is a deeply and fundamentally flawed individual; one cheated on their significant other, so they're untrustworthy (if they did it once, they'll likely do it again), and the other probably knew all about the betrayed partner and was still ok with the affair, showing that they're untrustworthy, too. Adult responsibilities + lack of trust = doomed to fail.
Story 1: Phoebe had to carry the burden of her mom cheating on OP. That's a load no one should have to deal with especially a teenager with trauma already. And mom put the "blame" of her relationship breaking on Phoebe's shoulders as well which is next level bullshit. That is how a mom ends up estranged from her child right after high school.
@@danacarter9147 bro, what? She has her father to help her??? Also, not all people who run away get pregnant with some jerk's baby, you know. That's a whole TON of assumptions to make about a child you have never met and know nothing about.
While that's true, if you're a step-parent, then upon a divorce, the bio parent can keep the kid from you. Then depending on how long you've been in their lives will depend upon whether or not a judge grants even visitation. Unlike adoption or bio as a step-parent you have no legal rights. There was even a story where this woman wanted to leave her AH husband. But he had 2 kids that she didn't trust him with. So she stuck around long enough to adopt both kids. Once that was done then she divorced him.
Story 1: Another example of how cheaters who involve their kids in their affairs are monsters. They always gaslight and manipulate them in the worst way.
Seeing as he didn't adopt her, the odds of him getting custody are slim. Not impossible but I honestly wouldn't hold my breath. The mother wasn't physically abusive and verbal abuse is hard to prove. As for emancipation, never going to happen. OP never mentioned her having a job. Strike 1, her now seeing 2 therapist for her issues Strike 2. She probably doesn't have any kind of savings or plans for where she'll go if she was emancipated. So basically Strike 3.
Can people not read or do they skim stories to comment first? The first comment says therapy but in the story the confrontation takes place on the way to therapy.
It did seem that there were a LOT of people responding that obviously didn't finish listening to the entire story. It's one thing to guess what's wrong, but to never correct/edit?
On the second story, this is why there should be a Yelp for dating, so that cheating POSs like this can't just start over again with fresh prey and learn from their lessons - now he knows to silence his affair phone. If only there was a way to mark him so other women could be warned - and that goes for anyone else, male or female, who treats their partner like garbage.
Story 1: God, this is such a sad story. First the daughter loses her bio dad and now her own mother is weaponizing her trauma and grief to blackmail her into hiding an affair. I hope OP takes that manipulative witch to the cleaners and is able to stay in his stepdaughter's life. Story 2: Good on OP for finding the burner phone and kicking out her PoS ex. Honestly the hiding the phone behind the toilet thing is pretty ingenious, cheating aside. Might use that idea myself in case of emergencies. Story 3: Malicious Compliance AND Petty Revenge? Nice.
@@locusxe1411 like stated, it's different everywhere. Also if OP hasn't adopted the kid, only thing he'd get is visitations if court sees it being beneficial for the kid. If he has not adopted, he has no legal claim or rights over his stepkid.
Story 1. No idea where he lives. But emancipation is an valid option in a lot of courts. And he should be entitled to shared custody, especially if she wants it. But the mom is pretty stupid. Whether she knows it or not, she burned an important bridge. She is currently warming herself and dancing in the light of her burning bridge. But when that child turns 18, that fire will go out and she will be left cold and in the dark.
Story 1: Wow…telling your daughter, who already lost her father, that if she rats her out for cheating, her stepfather will leave and it will be HER fault…that is just VILE. Ngl if i’m the daughter i’d never speak to her mother again.
Mood booster - oh, that was a WONDERFUL compliance story! I giggled when I realised what the titled was about, ‘cos these goals are not small. As for the doofus neighbours…..could they not have simply come over and registered politely and calmly their displeasure on the toy and had a discussion to help them all to get past what THEY felt was wrong ?! SHEESH! ‘Nuff said.
S1: Op is an amazing person. And I pray to every God/Goddess of humanity that Op & Phoebe are able to get away from that cheater. She's disgusting for using & abusing her own traumatized daughter to cover for her cheating. S2: Oh wow, secret phone behind the toilet? What a PoS. I will never understand why people don't just end their relationship instead of doing this to their partner, whom they obviously don't actually love.
poor op and poor Phoebe.Story broke my heart for the kid involved. If you cheat and involve your kid, you’re an asshole. story 2: prior to the update: i assumed cheating or drug dealing bc why else would you have a burner phone?? he was cheating with 3 women??? crazy. I’m glad OP isn’t with him anymore
#2 maybe talk to boyfriend about remodeling the bathroom, getting rid of the sink fixture etc and see how he reacts. The idea of getting that thing that detects stuff is a good one too
What OP's wife did to her daughter is worse than what she did to her husband. This poor excuse of a mother is emotionally blackmailing her teenage daughter while playing with her trauma. SMH.
Story 2: I wonder what was going on in that relationship that she immediately thought her fiamce had secret phone hidden somewhere. If that happened to me my first thought (after initial "wtf?!') would be the sound is coming from the ouside. Open window, neighbours, tv etc. If I were in more paranoid state I'd think that some kind of a creep installed a camera or tracking device.
I wonder what happened in the first marriage that caused the divorce? Could the mom have a guilty conscience about how the relationship broke down? Still doesn’t excuse her mentally damaging her child for a hookup. Poor girl. She deserves better. Glad OP is stepping up to be the parent she needs.
I think what is happening to op might of happen to the ex husband as well. She might of always been like this and ex husband caught her in the act and had enough but was able to try to keep it together to co parent before his death.
S2-OP missed a good chance to really mess with the cheater, though. I know alot of people don't have the patience for it but I would have send the other people messages and deleted them to confuse him when they responded and or take pics of poops and send them acting like him. All kinds of evil things come to mind lol
s1: OP needs to keep acting like everything is hunky dory. Propose adopting step daughter. If mom agrees, once the adoption goes through, THEN he files for divorce, so he has legal standing to seek at least partial custody, if not full (a good divorce lawyer would have a field day with mom manipulating the daughter to hide her cheating).
Yeah I would definitely just like swing by the wife and be like hey I think it'd be cool if I adopted stepdaughter. Just so she knows I'll always be there for her. Once you get your slime on the adoption form divorce Joint custody as other parents. My grandfather actually adopted my two oldest aunts after him and my grandmother married.
You know, I was talking to a therapist once, and told her about hearing a random noise sometimes while walking though my house. About three months later I realized it was a loose floorboard moving the fridge which had a can of spray on sun screen that would make the noise while wobbling.
Story 1: Well that's a title. Kids and step-kids are often manipulated to keep affairs secret but blaming Phoebe for the OP leaving is just sick. The OP did the right thing, letting Phoebe decide if he was Dad or not. Talk to a lawyer about what you can do for visitation and get Phoebe in therapy. Update: It gets worse, the wife is a monster. I'm glad that the OP is looking out for his daughter. Story 2: Don't tell your fiance, if he's cheating he'll just gaslight you. If he isn't cheating, he'll just call you crazy. Test it in secret. Look for bank records, social media posts and so on... Update: So she looked around and found the phone. A clever place to hide it. Dumb that he didn't have it on silent. The silver lining, you found out and kicked him out before you got married, got pregnant or had any joint assets. You don't need some b**ch rocking up on your doorstep demanding child support from your husband with a baby in her arms.
Story 1: what a miserable excuse for a “mom” seriously she not only cheated on OP but when caught she used her daughter’s fear against her to manipulate her to keep quiet.
OP's daughter calling OP "daddy" is not manipulative, that's her way of protecting herself without knowing it. My defense mechanism is always bringing a plushie werever I go... And I'm almost 26.
Story 1 - Normally when an op's child helps hide the other parent's affair I'd be in team Disown Them. Dishonor on them and the pos cheater. Not this time. That's messed up feels like an understatement. Wow. This goes beyond just being selfish. Op's soon to be ex is a monster. It's not enough phoebe lost her dad but to also live in fear of losing her stepdad because of her mom's selfishness. I'd consider phoebe an orphan at this point because this woman just officially demoted herself to egg donor status.
Story 1: Man, I hope OP becomes an official dad, he’s a real one. Story 2: What a douche canoe. Not only cheating on your fiancé, but putting OP’s health along with 3 (that we know of) other (possibly unsuspecting) affair partner’s health at risk. Get screened ASAP.
Phoebe’s Secret: OP may not be Phoebe’s biological father but it’s clear that he’s earned the title of “dad”. He never once blamed Phoebe for what happened, saving his rage for his wife. OP, you do what you need to do for Phoebe and yourself. She’s going to need you more than anything, especially since her mother gave her the manipulation tactic from Hell and put her wants and needs above Phoebe’s and yours.
There is a Final Update: Phoebe took her own life 😢 after a huge fight with mother. Op states he wasn’t the nicest after the fight she broke some things during the fight. Op is heart broken and getting a divorce.
Story 1: My first question is why did OP's wife and her ex (Phoebe's bio-father) divorce? Was it infidelity influenced and on who's part? What to do next? I'd consider legally adopting Phoebe to give her some protection before doing anything else. But your wife may put up a barrier to that. OP, you may need two lawyers. One for the divorce and the other for adoption or emancipation. I do believe you are wise in not asking Phoebe to keep secrets from her mother, though I suspect that unless something else happens to "rattle" her, she will. Make sure you document everything, especially finances and do what you can to separate your finances from your wife's without tipping her off. Good luck and best wishes. Story 2: Definitely odd. But I also suspect there are more hiding places than you have actually checked. Also (and I don't have a clue) could it be something like a smart watch or tablet? How thin are the walls in your apartment? Given everything in the bathroom was quiet, could it have come from another room and just sounded loud? And I wouldn't automatically jump to a bf is cheating conclusion, I get all kinds of notifications during the day from weather and news apps, doctor's appointments being confirmed, certain emails and so on. Actually, my coffee maker has a similar sound when it finishes brewing a pot. Could be something totally innocent. Just ask if he heard something weird and ask if he's heard it too. His reaction may say a lot. So there was a phone and your idiot now-ex wasn't smart enough to just plain turn the thing off and/or silence notifications when he wasn't using it. Good grief! As hard as this is for you OP, at least you're now rid of him and his cheating ways. I wouldn't have smashed the phone though, at least not until I'd messaged all the other women that they were being cheated on by him as well, but not tell him that. He'd find out soon enough. Best wishes. Permanent structure story: Just love that the neighbor actually went to the trouble of getting a permit and building a REGULATION SIZED SOCCER GOAL in his front yard, which is certainly several times larger than the one the kid was using before. Well done people!
I'm confused, the first story he responded that the stepdaughter isn't manipulating him but none of the comments mentioned that. They mentioned the mom manipulating her daughter.
Guys I hate to be the bearer of bad news but the final update to the first story is absolutely awful. I really hope it's fake because if not, Phoebe's mum totally failed her and OP will probably never forgive himself for failing to recognize that she was suicidal.
1st story. Ok hot take, unpopular opinion whatever as I guess I thought differently and do. The daughter kept it secret, she betrayed him and unfortunately her trauma was weaponised against her by her mom... If i was in the OPs shoes? I'd have left, straight up just dropped the daughter off and left and tell her what she did was horrible by hiding it BUT ultimately it wasn't intentional and she is a victim so she can stay in contact with me but ultimately I'd need space to process it all. I'd make sure to tell the daughter, I'm not abandoning her but i need space for now. That would allow me to see how she reacts and see the intentions and get ready to divorce the cheating wife. Mwke sure to check on the daughters therapy sessions whilst getting my own and see how the daughter acts. Anger, sadness ect. Thats just me.
S2. I am sorry this happened to OP, but she handled it well. Do cheaters even understand that their behavior is not a flex, that it makes them cowardly?? What an AH.
Last story: I'm heading out to a less developed country where the law consists of not harming each other rather than having a toy in your front yard. I get more freedom as a foreigner than a citizen.
OP emotionally stating, “bring MY DAUGHTER into it,” “MY GIRL” and “not asking her to keep the fact he knows her mom is cheating a secret;” makes him one kick-*ss father! 🥹👍🏾💗
1st story: That man is a real father. I'm glad OP defended his daughter and is doing his best to protect and take care of her. Her momster is just flat out repulsive. At least one of her parents has her back.
He’s not a stepdad, he’s the dad who stepped up.
Makes me think this isn't new. Like this sounds like what she is and I think it relates to her first divorce.
Momster is an appropriate title
FLAWLESSLY SAID!
And momster, a PERFECT title for that fiend!
@@theloverlyladylo9158dang you! 😭
Oof, weaponizing her daughter's trauma just so she can have an affair. Class act right there
@@danacarter9147 Wow, what a lot of stupid assumptions 😂
Sorry but with a parent like Op I doubt this will happen the way you think it will.
@@danacarter9147PhD in yappanese.
That woman is not only a bad wife, but also a bad mother. I shouldn’t even call her a mother. She’s a monster for doing this
I'm concerned over what else her mother has done to poor Phoebe, given her abandonment issues weren't just from her bio dad's death. Phoebe is in separate therapy for cPTSD, which I have because of my narc mother's raising of me.
Just overall a bad person. Not worth the dirt under our shoes.
@@animefallenangelI'm so sorry you went through that.😔
When I hear that she was divorce before her husband passing, I kinda suspected she wasn't a loyal women to begin with.
While I agree with the sentiment, mother is a statement of fact. I made a saying some time back when I needed to explain my relationship with my mother to friends of mine: "Mother" and "Father" are statements of fact, "Mom" and "Dad" are titles you earn.
My god, he needs to adopt her so he can get custody when he divorces her.
I think it's telling that mother might of been horrible by the start. What Is happening now makes me think this is probably why she was divorce in the first place.
Story 2: that's a lot of effort just to cheat so why even bother getting engaged? He obviously doesn't want to be in a monogamous relationship. Why waste someone's time and life?
One AP would have been bad enough, but THREE???? Triple WTF?????
And as you pointed out, why did he bother getting engaged? SMH.
Some people want to have it all; the comfort and stability of a married life and partner, but also the adrenaline and oxytocin-filled rush of an illicit affair. It's the forbidden fruit allure, and having to sneak around their partner's back and the risk of possibly getting caught adds to the rush. There's a very common emotional dynamic you see in cheaters; the official partner does all the physical and emotional caretaking and labor (bills, housekeeping, child-rearing, dealing with problems, and general adulting), so Cheater McHoepants gets those needs taken care of, but they save the fun part of a relationship (honeymoon/butterflies stage) for their affair partner. And often times, when the AP becomes their primary partner, the two cheaters fall out of love very quickly, because the dynamics of their relationship has now changed. No more forbidden fruit rush, just adulting, so those unions seldom last, and often get very ugly, very quickly. What's worse, is that both cheaters KNOW the other is a deeply and fundamentally flawed individual; one cheated on their significant other, so they're untrustworthy (if they did it once, they'll likely do it again), and the other probably knew all about the betrayed partner and was still ok with the affair, showing that they're untrustworthy, too. Adult responsibilities + lack of trust = doomed to fail.
He want someone babying him, cook for him, became maid and s worker.
That most men usually want after all
He wanted a fall-back
Because it’s a fake story.
Story 1: Phoebe had to carry the burden of her mom cheating on OP. That's a load no one should have to deal with especially a teenager with trauma already. And mom put the "blame" of her relationship breaking on Phoebe's shoulders as well which is next level bullshit. That is how a mom ends up estranged from her child right after high school.
@@danacarter9147 bro, what? She has her father to help her??? Also, not all people who run away get pregnant with some jerk's baby, you know. That's a whole TON of assumptions to make about a child you have never met and know nothing about.
"You divorce wives, not children." Dan Hedaya as Mel Horowitz in Clueless (1995).
And he's right.
While that's true, if you're a step-parent, then upon a divorce, the bio parent can keep the kid from you. Then depending on how long you've been in their lives will depend upon whether or not a judge grants even visitation. Unlike adoption or bio as a step-parent you have no legal rights.
There was even a story where this woman wanted to leave her AH husband. But he had 2 kids that she didn't trust him with. So she stuck around long enough to adopt both kids. Once that was done then she divorced him.
When op wrote about his daughter "i cant lose 2 dads" instant tears in my eyes
Story 1: Another example of how cheaters who involve their kids in their affairs are monsters. They always gaslight and manipulate them in the worst way.
Mood booster: Malicious compliance shoots. They score. Goal!
🎶 Olé Olé Olé Olé ! 😂
I can’t lie… I cracked up at the “when he can come stuff it again” line. Just something about your delivery
First story: OP, love your advice about adopting - but hope there's a further update with a happy ending at some point.
I would consult a lawyer and find out what my rights are concerning the daughter.
S1- Oh 💩, when she said "Please don't leave me, Daddy," it broke my soul! 💔😭
file for divorce, make sure to fight for full custody even if you haven't adopted her.
Seeing as he didn't adopt her, the odds of him getting custody are slim. Not impossible but I honestly wouldn't hold my breath. The mother wasn't physically abusive and verbal abuse is hard to prove.
As for emancipation, never going to happen. OP never mentioned her having a job. Strike 1, her now seeing 2 therapist for her issues Strike 2. She probably doesn't have any kind of savings or plans for where she'll go if she was emancipated. So basically Strike 3.
Cheaters suck. I now want a soccer goal in my front yard.
Story 2: DO NOT TELL HIM!!! Its probably taped under the sink. He will only gaslight you.
Omg! I knew he was cheating. Op handled this like a better version of me. I would have ruined him 😅
Can people not read or do they skim stories to comment first? The first comment says therapy but in the story the confrontation takes place on the way to therapy.
It did seem that there were a LOT of people responding that obviously didn't finish listening to the entire story. It's one thing to guess what's wrong, but to never correct/edit?
On the second story, this is why there should be a Yelp for dating, so that cheating POSs like this can't just start over again with fresh prey and learn from their lessons - now he knows to silence his affair phone. If only there was a way to mark him so other women could be warned - and that goes for anyone else, male or female, who treats their partner like garbage.
That dad is incredible, it sounds like while the mom sucks, his daughter has had 2 incredible dads in her life
Malicious Compliance:
In the esteemed words of Nelson Mandela Muntz, HA-HA! 🤣🤣🤣
Story 1: God, this is such a sad story. First the daughter loses her bio dad and now her own mother is weaponizing her trauma and grief to blackmail her into hiding an affair. I hope OP takes that manipulative witch to the cleaners and is able to stay in his stepdaughter's life.
Story 2: Good on OP for finding the burner phone and kicking out her PoS ex. Honestly the hiding the phone behind the toilet thing is pretty ingenious, cheating aside. Might use that idea myself in case of emergencies.
Story 3: Malicious Compliance AND Petty Revenge? Nice.
1st story. With the daughter being 16, she has a voice to say who she will live with in case of divorce.
While you may be correct, as that depends on where they live. There is a chance the daughter wouldn't know that.
Not if OP is just a step-parent; true if he adopted her
@@hellkitelord8319don’t the courts ask the children who they want to stay with?
@@locusxe1411 like stated, it's different everywhere. Also if OP hasn't adopted the kid, only thing he'd get is visitations if court sees it being beneficial for the kid.
If he has not adopted, he has no legal claim or rights over his stepkid.
@@duckeh1952 With her also being 16 though, can't she file for emancipation if it suits her best?
Terrible mother. Put her own selfish desires over her child's needs, and the child suffers the most.
Hi, LG! Have an awesome week ahead! ♥️🤗
You too!! :)
The mood booster was Awesome 😁
It was definitely needed!! lol
Story 1. No idea where he lives. But emancipation is an valid option in a lot of courts. And he should be entitled to shared custody, especially if she wants it.
But the mom is pretty stupid.
Whether she knows it or not, she burned an important bridge.
She is currently warming herself and dancing in the light of her burning bridge.
But when that child turns 18, that fire will go out and she will be left cold and in the dark.
Story 1: Wow…telling your daughter, who already lost her father, that if she rats her out for cheating, her stepfather will leave and it will be HER fault…that is just VILE.
Ngl if i’m the daughter i’d never speak to her mother again.
Mood booster - oh, that was a WONDERFUL compliance story! I giggled when I realised what the titled was about, ‘cos these goals are not small. As for the doofus neighbours…..could they not have simply come over and registered politely and calmly their displeasure on the toy and had a discussion to help them all to get past what THEY felt was wrong ?! SHEESH! ‘Nuff said.
Op is a good father! Him and his precious baby girl needs to be protected at all costs. Momma can take a hike
S2. Is it bad that I'm relieved its cheating? I honestly thought it was him selling bathroom videos of her on OF or PH.
S1:
Op is an amazing person.
And I pray to every God/Goddess of humanity that Op & Phoebe are able to get away from that cheater.
She's disgusting for using & abusing her own traumatized daughter to cover for her cheating.
S2:
Oh wow, secret phone behind the toilet? What a PoS.
I will never understand why people don't just end their relationship instead of doing this to their partner, whom they obviously don't actually love.
S2- I'm glad it was a cheating phone and not an illicit recording phone!
poor op and poor Phoebe.Story broke my heart for the kid involved. If you cheat and involve your kid, you’re an asshole.
story 2: prior to the update: i assumed cheating or drug dealing bc why else would you have a burner phone??
he was cheating with 3 women??? crazy. I’m glad OP isn’t with him anymore
#2 maybe talk to boyfriend about remodeling the bathroom, getting rid of the sink fixture etc and see how he reacts. The idea of getting that thing that detects stuff is a good one too
What OP's wife did to her daughter is worse than what she did to her husband. This poor excuse of a mother is emotionally blackmailing her teenage daughter while playing with her trauma. SMH.
Need another update on story 1.. Thanks LG🌷
I absolutely love the mood booster ❤❤😂😂
He's such a sweetheart.
Story 2: I wonder what was going on in that relationship that she immediately thought her fiamce had secret phone hidden somewhere. If that happened to me my first thought (after initial "wtf?!') would be the sound is coming from the ouside. Open window, neighbours, tv etc. If I were in more paranoid state I'd think that some kind of a creep installed a camera or tracking device.
Great mood booster
I wonder what happened in the first marriage that caused the divorce? Could the mom have a guilty conscience about how the relationship broke down? Still doesn’t excuse her mentally damaging her child for a hookup. Poor girl. She deserves better. Glad OP is stepping up to be the parent she needs.
My guess would be cheating
I think what is happening to op might of happen to the ex husband as well. She might of always been like this and ex husband caught her in the act and had enough but was able to try to keep it together to co parent before his death.
Hey !!! Omg !!! The 1st minute!!!!! ❤❤❤❤❤man ! Why that make me so happy 😁
S2-OP missed a good chance to really mess with the cheater, though. I know alot of people don't have the patience for it but I would have send the other people messages and deleted them to confuse him when they responded and or take pics of poops and send them acting like him. All kinds of evil things come to mind lol
1. Divorce. Maintain a father/daughter relationship with the girl and she is old enough to let family court know who she wants to live with.
s1: OP needs to keep acting like everything is hunky dory. Propose adopting step daughter. If mom agrees, once the adoption goes through, THEN he files for divorce, so he has legal standing to seek at least partial custody, if not full (a good divorce lawyer would have a field day with mom manipulating the daughter to hide her cheating).
Yeah I would definitely just like swing by the wife and be like hey I think it'd be cool if I adopted stepdaughter. Just so she knows I'll always be there for her. Once you get your slime on the adoption form divorce
Joint custody as other parents.
My grandfather actually adopted my two oldest aunts after him and my grandmother married.
You know, I was talking to a therapist once, and told her about hearing a random noise sometimes while walking though my house. About three months later I realized it was a loose floorboard moving the fridge which had a can of spray on sun screen that would make the noise while wobbling.
Change the locks!
Story 1: Well that's a title. Kids and step-kids are often manipulated to keep affairs secret but blaming Phoebe for the OP leaving is just sick. The OP did the right thing, letting Phoebe decide if he was Dad or not. Talk to a lawyer about what you can do for visitation and get Phoebe in therapy.
Update: It gets worse, the wife is a monster. I'm glad that the OP is looking out for his daughter.
Story 2: Don't tell your fiance, if he's cheating he'll just gaslight you. If he isn't cheating, he'll just call you crazy. Test it in secret. Look for bank records, social media posts and so on...
Update: So she looked around and found the phone. A clever place to hide it. Dumb that he didn't have it on silent. The silver lining, you found out and kicked him out before you got married, got pregnant or had any joint assets. You don't need some b**ch rocking up on your doorstep demanding child support from your husband with a baby in her arms.
In the exhaust fan!
Story 2: Points for creativity but still fake AF
Story 1: what a miserable excuse for a “mom” seriously she not only cheated on OP but when caught she used her daughter’s fear against her to manipulate her to keep quiet.
OP's daughter calling OP "daddy" is not manipulative, that's her way of protecting herself without knowing it. My defense mechanism is always bringing a plushie werever I go... And I'm almost 26.
Story 1 - Normally when an op's child helps hide the other parent's affair I'd be in team Disown Them. Dishonor on them and the pos cheater. Not this time. That's messed up feels like an understatement. Wow. This goes beyond just being selfish. Op's soon to be ex is a monster. It's not enough phoebe lost her dad but to also live in fear of losing her stepdad because of her mom's selfishness. I'd consider phoebe an orphan at this point because this woman just officially demoted herself to egg donor status.
Look inside the fan or heating vent.
Story 1 Perfect example of why not to date single Moms. Always adopt if you can, if not walkway.
The inspection opening under the bath there it will be.
Story 1: Man, I hope OP becomes an official dad, he’s a real one.
Story 2: What a douche canoe. Not only cheating on your fiancé, but putting OP’s health along with 3 (that we know of) other (possibly unsuspecting) affair partner’s health at risk. Get screened ASAP.
No the child was traumatized I know trauma when I hear it.
Phoebe’s Secret: OP may not be Phoebe’s biological father but it’s clear that he’s earned the title of “dad”. He never once blamed Phoebe for what happened, saving his rage for his wife.
OP, you do what you need to do for Phoebe and yourself. She’s going to need you more than anything, especially since her mother gave her the manipulation tactic from Hell and put her wants and needs above Phoebe’s and yours.
Story 2: there is a third posible solution in other cases *not this case).
For instance i have a Bluetooth speaker fan in the ceiling.
How funny/sad would be if the first cheater got with the second cheater lol.
There is a Final Update: Phoebe took her own life 😢 after a huge fight with mother. Op states he wasn’t the nicest after the fight she broke some things during the fight. Op is heart broken and getting a divorce.
Story 1: My first question is why did OP's wife and her ex (Phoebe's bio-father) divorce? Was it infidelity influenced and on who's part?
What to do next? I'd consider legally adopting Phoebe to give her some protection before doing anything else. But your wife may put up a barrier to that.
OP, you may need two lawyers. One for the divorce and the other for adoption or emancipation. I do believe you are wise in not asking Phoebe to keep secrets from her mother, though I suspect that unless something else happens to "rattle" her, she will. Make sure you document everything, especially finances and do what you can to separate your finances from your wife's without tipping her off. Good luck and best wishes.
Story 2: Definitely odd. But I also suspect there are more hiding places than you have actually checked. Also (and I don't have a clue) could it be something like a smart watch or tablet? How thin are the walls in your apartment? Given everything in the bathroom was quiet, could it have come from another room and just sounded loud? And I wouldn't automatically jump to a bf is cheating conclusion, I get all kinds of notifications during the day from weather and news apps, doctor's appointments being confirmed, certain emails and so on. Actually, my coffee maker has a similar sound when it finishes brewing a pot. Could be something totally innocent. Just ask if he heard something weird and ask if he's heard it too. His reaction may say a lot.
So there was a phone and your idiot now-ex wasn't smart enough to just plain turn the thing off and/or silence notifications when he wasn't using it. Good grief! As hard as this is for you OP, at least you're now rid of him and his cheating ways. I wouldn't have smashed the phone though, at least not until I'd messaged all the other women that they were being cheated on by him as well, but not tell him that. He'd find out soon enough. Best wishes.
Permanent structure story: Just love that the neighbor actually went to the trouble of getting a permit and building a REGULATION SIZED SOCCER GOAL in his front yard, which is certainly several times larger than the one the kid was using before. Well done people!
I'm confused, the first story he responded that the stepdaughter isn't manipulating him but none of the comments mentioned that. They mentioned the mom manipulating her daughter.
Second story i'd be afraid theres someone living in the walls.
Edit: nvm of course fiances cheating.
OP2, sorry - it’s my phone
Guys I hate to be the bearer of bad news but the final update to the first story is absolutely awful. I really hope it's fake because if not, Phoebe's mum totally failed her and OP will probably never forgive himself for failing to recognize that she was suicidal.
1st story.
Ok hot take, unpopular opinion whatever as I guess I thought differently and do.
The daughter kept it secret, she betrayed him and unfortunately her trauma was weaponised against her by her mom...
If i was in the OPs shoes?
I'd have left, straight up just dropped the daughter off and left and tell her what she did was horrible by hiding it BUT ultimately it wasn't intentional and she is a victim so she can stay in contact with me but ultimately I'd need space to process it all.
I'd make sure to tell the daughter, I'm not abandoning her but i need space for now.
That would allow me to see how she reacts and see the intentions and get ready to divorce the cheating wife.
Mwke sure to check on the daughters therapy sessions whilst getting my own and see how the daughter acts.
Anger, sadness ect.
Thats just me.
Yeah 👍👍👍👍
Story 2. Did you check the fan?
Pretty sure she cheated on her dead ex.
16:48 I agree with this comment, it’s only accusatory if OP accuses him or if he’s guilty. Just bringing it up is a good idea.
One AP would have been bad enough, but THREE???? Triple WTF?????
❤❤❤😢
Ojo de loca no se equivoca
❤❤❤❤
S2. I am sorry this happened to OP, but she handled it well. Do cheaters even understand that their behavior is not a flex, that it makes them cowardly?? What an AH.
And not a shred of guilt in this one. “I knee I forgot to silence it” what a vile man
Last story: I'm heading out to a less developed country where the law consists of not harming each other rather than having a toy in your front yard. I get more freedom as a foreigner than a citizen.
What happened to conplete stories...
The woman on the 2nd story needs to check the ventilation.
I don’t see why a man would want custody of a child that’s not biologically theirs.
Because he loves her and has been her dad for long enough that it doesn't matter if it's biologically his.
OP emotionally stating, “bring MY DAUGHTER into it,” “MY GIRL” and “not asking her to keep the fact he knows her mom is cheating a secret;” makes him one kick-*ss father! 🥹👍🏾💗
S3- GOOOOOOOOOOAAAAALLLLLL!!!!!⚽🥅