Yeah I feel like a lot infomercials, including several that Charlie have reviewed, use the word "discreet" really generously. They call it discreet even if it's large, chunky and has the product name written at the front. Like the portable toilet seat cover he featured in another video, the "discreet, handy carrying bag" was bright red and had the word "potty" written on it as part of the product name.
We wound up getting a bidet during quarantine. 1000% recommend. That being said... most bidet attachments come with a dial that doesn't really keep human limitations in mind. On the low end you have a perfect clean and on the high end you have Piccolo shooting Goku through the chest with his Special Beam Cannon.
Listen, bidets sound convenient, but I dont want a water shooting attachment aimed directly at my pooper that can be ramped up to have the power and velocity of a firehose
@tank head However, it would give you a tactical advantage against your enemy. Invite them over to your abode as a peace offering, load them up on Taco Bell, hype up the life-changing magic of the bidet, give them misinformation about how to use said bidet, then wait. As Sun Tzu probably said: "All warfare is based on deceptively benign toilet accessories."
not gonna lie i have one not this one but damn has it saved me tons of money from not buying shit tickets anymore. im atleast glad these are starting to catch on.
Fingy in the bum bum is only reserved for Monday nights and I dont want shit on my hand so gram gram is going to get a fist to those fake dentures so I can clean myself properly
You can't find a toilet without bidet in Turkey Even older version toilet nowadays people don't use anymore you still use water. I didnt know american use toilet paper to clean poop. WE only use toilet paper to dry XD
@@EnderElohim One of my friends told me this as well. I installed a bidet recently and it is honestly life-changing. I'm not sure why it isn't standard in the US
@@corywashington9580 from my perspective i can safely say it must be something to do with toilet paper companies at this point :D I wanna move to America and if i can manage to do that i would certainty gonna spread bidets to everybody there i can reach too :D
@@Dඩී asians conserve nature by using eco friendly solutions by using water saving billions of trees like theres no hoarding of toilet paper in the philippines we use a bucker and a tabo in tagalog or kabu in bisaya its basicly a small bucket with a handle we use it to clean our buts and most asians use waters prayers which is much more eco friendly and much more efficient in cleaning than western toilet paper cuz the water is recycled and it is clean its like using those hoses you use to wash your car to your ass
@@ApartmentKing66 Ohhhhh my fucking God. Thank you for laying bear these secrets we cro-magnon have not known before. What would we ever do without you.
Head on, apply directly to the forehead. Head on, apply directly to the forehead. Head on, apply directly to the forehead. EDIT: HAHAHA I posted this before I even realized somebody else posted a link to the actual ad. Been years since I've seen this and I still have no idea what it's for.
how secret do you expect it to be, when it has it's own commercial? it's not like it appears from nowhere, like your creepy old uncle under your window, who states, that likes little boys younger than the latest presidents mandate :D
like a sane person use the dial properly to control water pressure, if you go all out starship maneuvering then obviously it'll hurt you just like poking fork in power socket is VISCIOUS
this guy has some anecdote about having a bidet when he was a kid, yet the things he says are like someone who has never used a bidet in their entire life.
Idea -Change the logo to a radio name -put instructions that tell user that it plays music -Invite a guest over and have Mexican food -Tell them about your new radio toilet -wait Have fun
2:04 That is legit some dude using a small hose to wash that blue shit away. Didn't even try to make it look like it was an even spread like the glass test.
My secret bidet, as a weirdly shaped thing attached to your toilet, with its name on it in print. They're not even remotely trying to make it a hidden, secret bidet.
My parents got this because why the hell not apparently, but I literally can not use it on anything higher than the lowest setting. THEN the cold ass water just makes me want to die. Like this thing is ten times as bad as an Ice Age. I've just given up hope on that piece of garbage. Send help, my mom got a machine gun for the toilet.
If he just kept wiping then the blue gunk would be completely off. That's why you don't wipe once but multiple times. You don't just wipe once and then be like "oh shoot, looks like I didn't get all the shit off, better luck next time!". I do have an actual bidet though and every once in a while it's good.
This product is actually very useful, even the advertisement is on point. You wouldn't touch poop and just wipe it off with a paper instead of washing your hands right?
yeah , but idk why this guy talk bad when a lot of asian toilet using bidet in their bathroom me in south east asia use our hand to clean our poop + water and after that just wash my hand again in the sink
Yeah but I’m also not touching other people and things with my asshole. It’s just a fold between my skin that is covered all day and gets washed daily. It’s going to have bacteria and smell disgusting either way. If the concept of just wiping is really that upsetting if you can use a wet wipe but I can think of nothing more viscerally upsetting than ice cold water shooting out at my ass at 100 psi
i'll use it while screaming "I am gonna make stinky poo poo on your stupid japanese face" then unload some chunks of burning love. This shit killed Elvis before, but I am a strong man.
And need to add, the curren iPhone you maybe just bought. Isn't supported anymore. Get already 1000 bux ready for another shitty iPhone with B quality batteries
My gf is from a country that uses bidets and she won't go to the toilet without washing with water. If there is no bidet she takes a bottle of water or atleast wipes. You actually don't get 100% clean with just paper.
20 years ago (dammit, I'm old) I had visited Japan to teach English for a summer and had the opportunity to use a bidet while staying with a host family. To this day, I had never forgotten how great it was. Now I finally own my own and it's got heated seats, pulsating water, and and air drier. So happy!
Here in Finland (and I think rest of the Nordic countries) we have "hand bidets" which are kinda' like tiny shower heads next to either the toilet or the sink (or it's just a flaucet that can be pulled out). It's super handy, granted most don't actually use them as bidets, but rather to wash their hair/face or the bathroom.
@@giornotriestino1364 They're both bidets. In my country most houses have a toilet and a separate bidet, but humbler homes have one attached to the toilet seat.
@@SilverReviews You people need to learn how to wipe. Wet wipes have soap and water in them. If you are telling me that water is more effective then soap and water, you are insane. Plus, I can't imagine how easy it is to accidentally flood your bathroom with a bidet. Like if that's what you like using, great, go for it. But just because some people don't use it doesn't mean they're disgusting.
According to my s.o. when you grow up always using bidets to clean after using the bathroom tp just doesnt cut it. They can tolerate just using wipes but bidets are cheaper long term. After using one I agree they're nice. Especially since I have..... digestive issues so to speak. Use much less tp this way lol
Deshon Jay u need to use water to stay clean after a shit if not u r just gross. Yes u wipe but just to dry not wiping 1000 times wasting toilet paper and on top of that the paper still doesn’t fully clean . It’s gross u don’t know how many people that don’t use water actually smell. I walk behind people on the stairs and it’s fucking gross everytime like use water .
@@strictlypineapple9308 Water alone wouldn't take the shitty smell away xD. Or are you showering without soap or some kind of shower gel. Use baby wipes or some kind of wet wipe with fragrance.
Is it sad that when i got recommended this and it said "my secret bidet" in the title i thought of those Jewish hats and wondering how its going to be secret.
Honestly I would love to see someone sit down to poo at a friends house, not know what the knob thing is, turn it on and get the shit scared out of them.
Not gonna lie, i have this. Pretty good. Us filipino, we use soap and water to clean our downstair everytime we went to bathroom. Sorry but tissue just wipes out your doo doo but water and soap will clean the shit out 99.9%
You really missed an opportunity to call it a "weapon of ass destruction".
Damn and i thought i was being clever when I commented that :(
@@AtheistGamerz nah you're probably just a comment thief.
@@MrAlwaysRight is that a thing? Anal
A weapon to surp'ass' metal gear
Michael Lacy nigga what in the fuck are you saying? Weird ass
"Get a second bidet! Just pay separate fee!"
So like..... just buying two then.
imagine having Poseidon fuckin water hose your asshole
@@XxRileyxX42 *Moans*
@@mr.matrix4082 lmao
@@mr.matrix4082 n o
@@kefa5456 *Y E S*
“The discreet bidet”
*dial labelled “water pressure” sticks directly out of toilet*
Yeah I feel like a lot infomercials, including several that Charlie have reviewed, use the word "discreet" really generously. They call it discreet even if it's large, chunky and has the product name written at the front. Like the portable toilet seat cover he featured in another video, the "discreet, handy carrying bag" was bright red and had the word "potty" written on it as part of the product name.
*Friend sitting on toilet; notices dial labelled "water pressure"*
"Hmm, what's this?"
*Turns dial; gets shot through the ceiling*
Anyone would assume it's for the flush!
Edit: I'm Sarcastic
It's as discreet as the sound a person would make while a piece of their skin is getting blasted away on their ass.
I think they call it "secret" because the spray head hides when it's not in use. Not because the bidet itself is meant to be hidden.
We wound up getting a bidet during quarantine. 1000% recommend. That being said... most bidet attachments come with a dial that doesn't really keep human limitations in mind. On the low end you have a perfect clean and on the high end you have Piccolo shooting Goku through the chest with his Special Beam Cannon.
😂😂😂😭I can't stop laughing at that analogy
I have permanent damage on my anus from using a bidet, but atleast I’m clean
Yeah the bidets make bathroom time a lot shorter but I don’t want the water equivalent of a cannon shooting my bum
Listen, bidets sound convenient, but I dont want a water shooting attachment aimed directly at my pooper that can be ramped up to have the power and velocity of a firehose
@tank head However, it would give you a tactical advantage against your enemy. Invite them over to your abode as a peace offering, load them up on Taco Bell, hype up the life-changing magic of the bidet, give them misinformation about how to use said bidet, then wait. As Sun Tzu probably said: "All warfare is based on deceptively benign toilet accessories."
Its 3 in 1. Its a bidet, a fire hose and a medieval torture machine
epic gamer and a drinking water fountain
I just came here to see wtf "bidet" means in English.
Not a word I see written much.
not gonna lie i have one not this one but damn has it saved me tons of money from not buying shit tickets anymore. im atleast glad these are starting to catch on.
Should I jack off.
^you can use it as high pressure cleaner
Imagine you're peeing and the toilet pees back
JAADU Universe HAHAHAHAHAH
JAADU Universe I was having a good day we where all having a good day
I'm choking that was so funny hahahahahaha
With the power of 1000 tsunami's.
Hard flex
Jokes on you people are actually fighting for toilet paper now
Imagine using Bidet.
This post was made by East Asia and Southeast Asia gang
Noooo😂😂
@@ariavachier-lagravech.6910 Japanese toilets are better tho
@@user-njyzcip I made a mistake i meant to say "imagine using toilet papers" since i am from ASEAN lol.
Fingy in the bum bum is only reserved for Monday nights and I dont want shit on my hand so gram gram is going to get a fist to those fake dentures so I can clean myself properly
*My secret bidet took the child's innocence*
Oh no
Oh no
Oh no
Oh no
Oh yeah
*Local Boy Kills 112 Classmates Using Toilet Attachment Product*
Top Keksis 69
Nice
don't come to the bathroom tomorrow
Why did I laugh at this.
In Germany this is the ambulances phone number
I'd never get a bidet because I'm worried I'd enjoy it too much.
you just gotta embrace the butt pleasure sometimes
killerfrenchy alright then sigmund freud
I'll embrace the enema
well if critical makes a video on it,then it's obviously pleasurful in every way
Either way, the floor is getting covered in liquids. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
I often shit blue sticky residue I will definitely be buying this
No one asked you papa smurf
Jonny 5 Stop trying to be funny, you aren’t.
SmolKeanuReeves says the one with that username.
@@asylumrain thanks for having my back bro 😂
SmolKeanuReeves ah yes, the classic mom’s basement
It's funny how colourful his vocabulary is, but he says all of it in the most monotonous voice ever.
Monotone lol.
@@RedRoseSeptember22 "monotonous" is right in this situation
You said what I was thinking
80% of this man's vocabulary is dirty humor, if there were a way to measure it like with intoxication, he would be high.
@@TheGameChallenger he can go sfw too
"toilet not included"
Shit
Bullshit give me my toilet
god damn it
No shit, sonny!
When some of your potential customers are people that sue others for a living...
"This Secret Bidet is a weapon of ASS destruction."
there ya go, fixed it.
I think he deliberately skipped out on going for that pun.
And I think he's a hero for that.
+JC Not nah, sometimes the most obvious escapes us
Paarah With how rigorously scripted his commentary is I think it unlikely though.
Daniel Scharn The Secret Bidet is a weapon of ASS
Awesome
Super
Soaker
m-ass destruction
HOOYEA! DADUNADUHDUHDADUHDADUHDA
BABEH BABEH HADUHDADUDA DADUDADUDA
Getting it for a home defense system.
Skillzerk it sure keeps brown stuff away, and now I apologize for that racist joke.
this would be perfect for metal gear survive!
Tired of those damn homeless people trying to shit in my house.
With my secret bidet you won’t have a house
this should be pinned lol
Imagine you're drunk and puke in your friends toilet, not knowing that the vomit water's about to spray your face
LMFAO!!!
Omg 😂😂😂😂
My kind of girl 😁
I know it's a joke but some people here sound like they have absolutely no idea how a bidet works
That’s not exactly how a bidet works, unless it’s those Japanese ones with a sink on top recycling water, but I’ll take it.
this product is great for us art students who shit out oil paints and pee out watercolour paints.
When we're aroused, our genitals secrete our parents disappointment.
i know i get turned on thinking about how i dont have a job
Whatever floats your ass......I.....I meant boat.
Logan Barnlund if your Japanese whatever sinks your boat
zohi kayden I have German ancestry, so whatever fills your chamber.
Ngl, since I've experienced Japanese toilets, there was no going back.
heated toilet seat are the shit.
the lawyer doggo Literally.
They said bidets were foolish. Then all the karens ran out to buy all the toilet paper. Now i laugh as my booty becomes nice and clean.
@GrungeKid_27 and when you wash your hands the sink takes a piss on your hands.
@Chairgamer Pogger that's a spicy icon you got there , m8.
4:51
" *tOiLeT nOt InClUdEd* "
ah man, i was hoping for a 20 dollar toilet.
AWW AND I COULD GET TWO TOILETS FOR $20
3Dpopout I can see exactly where you came back to this comment with the edit 😂
No u could get it for 20 and the separate fee
This actually a good idea. Most of the typical Japanese toilets have bidet functions, and they work out impressively.
You can't find a toilet without bidet in Turkey
Even older version toilet nowadays people don't use anymore you still use water. I didnt know american use toilet paper to clean poop. WE only use toilet paper to dry XD
@@EnderElohim It's not rocket science though. You just wipe your ass
@@EnderElohim One of my friends told me this as well. I installed a bidet recently and it is honestly life-changing. I'm not sure why it isn't standard in the US
@@corywashington9580 from my perspective i can safely say it must be something to do with toilet paper companies at this point :D I wanna move to America and if i can manage to do that i would certainty gonna spread bidets to everybody there i can reach too :D
I got a genuine ad for a bidet before the video and there was a child actor who looked way too happy to be using a bidet. I’m traumatized
ua-cam.com/video/gnhy3VYv_T0/v-deo.html
no thanks that was precisely the one
Me too 😞
Same, I thought it was a joke
Cuties be like:
I bought one and it hurt my balls. Pretty sure it’s a power washer.
thank you for being a martyr for us all.
"Power Scrubber"
I should get one to wash my car.
If you enjoy your car being covered in shit water
*hog wash*
“ I swear hank it’s so I can drift.” 🤣
French Toastman That and the key blade from Kingdom Hearts were my favorite
Smashing!
Tokyo drift reference lmao
Same I'm dead XD
I too watched the video. Like.
*Muslims, Japanese and Koreans laughing in the background*
*Bangladeshis, Indians and Pakistanis join the laugh*
*all of Asians hosting the laugh party*
Every asians laughing
@@cljalamana1190 why? Can you explain meplz?
@@Dඩී asians conserve nature by using eco friendly solutions by using water saving billions of trees like theres no hoarding of toilet paper in the philippines we use a bucker and a tabo in tagalog or kabu in bisaya its basicly a small bucket with a handle we use it to clean our buts and most asians use waters prayers which is much more eco friendly and much more efficient in cleaning than western toilet paper cuz the water is recycled and it is clean its like using those hoses you use to wash your car to your ass
What a neat drinking fountain no longer do I have to stick my head in to get a drink incredible the technology that’s coming out nowadays.
How pets see this as but they would get decimated by that water pressure
TOILET GOES YUM YUM
r/cursedcomments
this is very cursed
please no
Why is it called secret? There’s a giant timer attached to your crapper.
It's not a timer, actually; it controls water pressure.
@@ApartmentKing66 It looks like a timer at first glance
@Spastik may i ask you for your phone number so we can do..... business
Imagine your friend using your toilet and then turning that button out of curiosity. Hilarity
ensues.
@@ApartmentKing66 Ohhhhh my fucking God. Thank you for laying bear these secrets we cro-magnon have not known before. What would we ever do without you.
I just realized this whole commercial just repeated itself like 3 times
Repitition will make things burn in to your head.
Repitition will make things burn in to your head.
Repitition will make things burn in to your head.
ua-cam.com/video/f_SwD7RveNE/v-deo.html
ua-cam.com/video/f_SwD7RveNE/v-deo.html
ua-cam.com/video/f_SwD7RveNE/v-deo.html
EXcentriX but it won’t make you spell ‘Repetition’ correctly
Head on, apply directly to the forehead. Head on, apply directly to the forehead. Head on, apply directly to the forehead.
EDIT: HAHAHA I posted this before I even realized somebody else posted a link to the actual ad. Been years since I've seen this and I still have no idea what it's for.
Instructions unclear toilet now screams “I am a bidet” when it detects a human within 106 feet of it.
The Japanese know. Once you live with it, you can never live without it.
I use a bidet myself, they clean my ass more than toilet paper thats for sure,
I honestly don't know how ppl live with dookie leftovers on them fulltime
Sometimes when I'm bored I use my secret bidet...
Europeans too. I'm from Eastern Europe and we had bidets in most bathrooms. I prefer them to TP.
Or South East Asia. I prefer it over toilet paper or wet wipe.
4:51 wait. You can get a second one for free as long as you pay for a second one. What.
“Perfect for a second bathroom- just pay a separate fee😃” .. Que??
N..nani...?
I think it meand seperate shipping fee but im not sure
M...mhm Um pardon👌
なに
I'm going to use this to keep cats out of my yard.
You won’t have a yard after you use this product
決して離れていない永遠にともに I'm weak 😂😂😂
El Emilio - use is to keep dogs from stealing my FUCKING WATER!!
or toilet
Can I have them?
jk.
2:23 GENTLY? someone lost their VIRGINITY USING ONE OF THESE lmaoo
THEY *WHAT*
@@Zoeee0000 OMG WHY WOULD I COMMENT THIS IM SO EMBARRASSED
@@anniet494 IM HERE TO REMIND YOU THAT YOU COMMENTED THIS SO YOU CAN THINK ABOUT IT WHILE TRYING TO SLEEP. (btw i laughed at your comment):DD
Here's your yearly reminder !
contiuing the chain lmao
Wait how is it secret when it makes your toilet look like a cyborg?
My toilet is augmented
how secret do you expect it to be, when it has it's own commercial? it's not like it appears from nowhere, like your creepy old uncle under your window, who states, that likes little boys younger than the latest presidents mandate :D
95TurboSol ii
your toilet never asked for this
Would YOU ask a cyborg toilet about its secrets? I thought not.
Let's go back to what the Romans did: tie a sea sponge to a stick and wipe with that.
Dr Shaym you sexist man pig, I love you lmao
SHAAAAAAYYYYYYYYMMMMMM
Oh, Spongebob, NOOOOOO!
Shaym? Didn't expect to find you here
Dr Shaym
Fancy seeing you here
wiping leaves behind skin, the my secret bidet removes your skin
Austin Alexander 💀💀💀
Omgggg😂😂😂😂😂😂💀💀💀💀💀
And rips you a new asshole
"just sit back and relax while the My Secret Bidet rinses you clean!"
me: Blastoise use hydropump!
the toilet at my grandpas house has a my secret bidet
all i can say is that thing is
*VICIOUS*
Does it clobber your nuts?
We need to know
Run.
like a sane person use the dial properly to control water pressure, if you go all out starship maneuvering then obviously it'll hurt you just like poking fork in power socket is VISCIOUS
you mean viscous?
Did Anyone make the joke already
Analiation
THIS MAN IS A GENIUS
analhiliation
Weapon of ass destruction
I would give you a thumbs up but you’re on 420 right now!
Auto correct says annahliation.
Hurt using the bidet ? Flextape® to the rescue
NO
NO
NO
Flex Tape won't help you with this one!
Flex Seal Liquid is the only product that will save your anus.
But can it repair the explosive damage done inside the scrotum?
Flex seal that ass full
@@toshi2623 Flex paste*
Flex tape is the answer to all our prayers
this guy has some anecdote about having a bidet when he was a kid, yet the things he says are like someone who has never used a bidet in their entire life.
Idea
-Change the logo to a radio name
-put instructions that tell user that it plays music
-Invite a guest over and have Mexican food
-Tell them about your new radio toilet
-wait
Have fun
And don’t forget
-listen to there screams while there anus is destroyed by the bidet
And then your sprinkler is covered in shit congrats
@@lanaslay2163 *their
To be completely honest I need this. not ironic. Actually.
Do you not have arms or something?
My mother has one, she loves it. Makes me uncomfortable.
+Lucas Ludwick 😂; she put the 2nd one in the front.
Kevin2382 oh . .
\_/
.,.,,.,.,.,.,
2:04 That is legit some dude using a small hose to wash that blue shit away. Didn't even try to make it look like it was an even spread like the glass test.
0:23 fun fact: this segment caused me to realize something was wrong about me, go to the doctor, and be diagnosed with IBS
UA-cam recommended this to me as "Lifestyle"
Lolinkassi it's gaming for me 😂
you have a message
It's not a bidet it's a lifestyle
For penguinz0, roasting infomercials is a lifestyle.
My secret bidet, as a weirdly shaped thing attached to your toilet, with its name on it in print. They're not even remotely trying to make it a hidden, secret bidet.
My parents got this because why the hell not apparently, but I literally can not use it on anything higher than the lowest setting. THEN the cold ass water just makes me want to die. Like this thing is ten times as bad as an Ice Age. I've just given up hope on that piece of garbage. Send help, my mom got a machine gun for the toilet.
Error 404 heh. “Ass water”
@@El_Cabaro heh.
Error 404 has it ever slapped your nuts?
Error 404 tushy is better so is frida mom portable bidet way more gentle and it cleans u way better
"Installs in minutes! Anyone can do it!"
*she closes the seat cover and it's completely misaligned*
That annoys me so much when it’s like that
2:13 nobody gonna talk about how that’s a dry erase sharpie on glass
Oh wow, didn’t notice that
Spastik I don’t remember asking to talk about the fact that he is grey for only you
@@vermontdoesstuff2546 can confirm im not gay.
Sire Sheep sorry misread it thinking he was saying your like button was grey
Please forgive me
Bruh
If he just kept wiping then the blue gunk would be completely off. That's why you don't wipe once but multiple times. You don't just wipe once and then be like "oh shoot, looks like I didn't get all the shit off, better luck next time!". I do have an actual bidet though and every once in a while it's good.
Yeah it works, but using that much toilet paper is bad for the environment. A combination of bidet and toilet paper use is better.
If you accidentally got shit on your hand, would you wipe it off repeatedly or would you wash it?
Siba Khin wait you eat with your ass?
SubtleHawk *_better luck next time!_*
@@sibakhin5191 Id probably trick my friend into giving me a high five and then wash it off.
3 years ago: how funny
Today: who’s laughing now
I can believe more cheap bidet seats haven’t sold, meanwhile NO toilet paper to be seen, for months.
still me
Still me.
Still me
It was published on my birthday
This product is actually very useful, even the advertisement is on point.
You wouldn't touch poop and just wipe it off with a paper instead of washing your hands right?
yeah , but idk why this guy talk bad when a lot of asian toilet using bidet in their bathroom
me in south east asia use our hand to clean our poop + water
and after that just wash my hand again in the sink
You should still wash your hands since you touched the toilet.
*laughs in Filipino*
@@RedRoseSeptember22 people still wash their hands when they use a bidet
Yeah but I’m also not touching other people and things with my asshole. It’s just a fold between my skin that is covered all day and gets washed daily. It’s going to have bacteria and smell disgusting either way. If the concept of just wiping is really that upsetting if you can use a wet wipe but I can think of nothing more viscerally upsetting than ice cold water shooting out at my ass at 100 psi
I would turn on the bidet and pee standing up while aiming at the bidet's stream just to see which of us has the strongest stream.
‘Duel of the Fates’ worthy
But you would have gravity in your advantage..
@@SteenSpinal4LIFE it’s called having the high ground.
@@1Yooter You get a like.
this comment is seriously underrated
Or I can get a Japanese toilet and listen to music while taking a dump, get my ass warmed and being cleaned all at the same time.
i'll use it while screaming "I am gonna make stinky poo poo on your stupid japanese face" then unload some chunks of burning love. This shit killed Elvis before, but I am a strong man.
EXcentriX
what.
Been to Japan, they are incredible toilets.
"Looks like a key blade from kingdom hearts."
The Analiator
I died when i heard that my bf left the room lmfao
3:47 Lol this woman’s facial expressions are gold
4:50 Toilet not included
Ahhh why???
FlightSimXtreem whats 2018 like im from 2016
Apple made some more iPhones. WW3 threats getting bigger. That is pretty much all for now.
And need to add, the curren iPhone you maybe just bought. Isn't supported anymore. Get already 1000 bux ready for another shitty iPhone with B quality batteries
Anthony B I
i take a shit while doing a handstand. How will this product assist me?
Tubgirl
+alan chung Oh god... why must you remind me of such things?
lol all I could think of when you said anus up shitting
You can use it as a drinking fountain.
I don't know why but your comment about taking a dump while doing a handstand made me instantly think of Lanky Kong.
still waiting for square enix to announce the shitty infomercial world so I can get my bidet keyblade and fight alongside Billy Mays' nobody
Mood.
Ok but bidets are fucking amazing, my uncle had it in his house and once I tried it toilet paper and water bucket was never the same
Good nephew, being clean is important however do not use too much water, i am a mafia boss but that shit is still expensive.
your voice is suited for running a noir jazz radio station that runs all night. your videos kick ass man keep it up
or a right wing radio station. lmao
C1tikal for Fallout 5 DJ!!!
4:20 Missed a perfect opportunity to say Weapon of Ass Destruction. I am disappoint. Rest of the video was awesome though, love these!
That was my exact thought as well.
Notice the time he could have said it. Damn.
I am disappoint too
Hello disappoint
lexxurevg1 disappoint
"Their colon would probably *probably* explode"
Dis Boi
Definitely*
My gf is from a country that uses bidets and she won't go to the toilet without washing with water. If there is no bidet she takes a bottle of water or atleast wipes. You actually don't get 100% clean with just paper.
Good to know.
I couldn't live without a bidet either
3:46 ''for kids is awesome, they do it themselves, it vaporize them and i don't have to hide any evidence''
Now it's OUR secret bidet.
Oh god 👁👄👁
*Soviet Anthem plays*
I bought one of these just to take it apart and make an anti-tailgater for my car.
From experience it can really launch paint remover.
I need this for my truck
@@Skelterbane69 i need a truck for my bidet.
Please post a vid of this in action I need to see this comedy
20 years ago (dammit, I'm old) I had visited Japan to teach English for a summer and had the opportunity to use a bidet while staying with a host family. To this day, I had never forgotten how great it was. Now I finally own my own and it's got heated seats, pulsating water, and and air drier. So happy!
I think the phrase "That would wreck a kid's anus" got Charlie put on an FBI watchlist.
I would like it but it’s at 69
😳
The water that runs into my toilet is almost ice cold. It wouldn't work because I would be clenching from the shock.
You'll clench all the poop back inside.
BTW this is presented as a invention, i live in middle east and all the toilets has this, for a very long time.
Damn the middle east in 3019 while us peasants in 2019
Yeah, there's nothing new about this. Other cultures use water instead of toilet paper and that's generally the market audience for these products.
Exactly lol
Here in Finland (and I think rest of the Nordic countries) we have "hand bidets" which are kinda' like tiny shower heads next to either the toilet or the sink (or it's just a flaucet that can be pulled out).
It's super handy, granted most don't actually use them as bidets, but rather to wash their hair/face or the bathroom.
@@timoyr2954 Fins really out here washing with the shit faucet
Well, bidets are actually way more hygienic than toilet paper and/or wet wipes.
Wait, for bidet you mean this spray for your ass or an actual bidet?
@@giornotriestino1364 They're both bidets. In my country most houses have a toilet and a separate bidet, but humbler homes have one attached to the toilet seat.
Bidets are absolutely more hygienic. Anyone who acts like this is a dumb idea, is gross and dirty.
@@SilverReviews I know, no amount of paper will leave you as clean as water. Plus, it's quick and better for the environment.
@@SilverReviews You people need to learn how to wipe. Wet wipes have soap and water in them. If you are telling me that water is more effective then soap and water, you are insane. Plus, I can't imagine how easy it is to accidentally flood your bathroom with a bidet. Like if that's what you like using, great, go for it. But just because some people don't use it doesn't mean they're disgusting.
According to my s.o. when you grow up always using bidets to clean after using the bathroom tp just doesnt cut it. They can tolerate just using wipes but bidets are cheaper long term. After using one I agree they're nice. Especially since I have..... digestive issues so to speak. Use much less tp this way lol
I imagine they're very useful for heavy periods bc wet wipes and toilet paper on the first day just doesn't cut it.
Am I the only one that's used a bidet and gets extremely uncomfortable by water slapping my asshole?
@@knight3612 get used to it
@@knight3612 I fkn hate the feeling too, idk why.
@barung1 Not only Italians but whole of Asia use them
"Looks like a fuckin Keyblade from Kingdom Hearts."
RenoVatio Oh the memories
This keyblade doubles the power of your ice magic
RenoVatio it's aquas ultimate keyblade
😂😂
RenoVatio it really does, now I gotta go replay kingdom hearts one and two
" Perfect for children i now don't have to help them "
kid : goes to bathroom
my secret bidet :
DID SOMEONE SAY SKIN
"I put my action figures on it..."
Hahahahahaaah I pooped my pants when you said itd spray shit all over the bathroom
sounds like you needed a secret bidet
Sounds like he _has_ a secret bidet.
He says “my secret bidet” so where can i get his i don’t want my own
Allison Marie I’m not exactly sure how to word it but I’m glad you get the joke and think it’s valid 😁
@@Nr8k bring me Allison Marie now.
Bidets are in fact way more hygenic compared to toilet paper.
Wait, mini power shower beside the toilet so you could spray it to your anus isn't a thing at your place?
How is spraying shit mist on your scrotum and the back of your thighs hygienic?
you still have to wipe afterwards....unless u walk around with a watery asshole fresh from taking a shit
Deshon Jay u need to use water to stay clean after a shit if not u r just gross. Yes u wipe but just to dry not wiping 1000 times wasting toilet paper and on top of that the paper still doesn’t fully clean . It’s gross u don’t know how many people that don’t use water actually smell. I walk behind people on the stairs and it’s fucking gross everytime like use water .
@@strictlypineapple9308 Water alone wouldn't take the shitty smell away xD. Or are you showering without soap or some kind of shower gel. Use baby wipes or some kind of wet wipe with fragrance.
"the world's most viscous shit". lmfao
*laughs in middle eastern and we have been doing this since the start of time*
Probably everyone except the "west" has been washing rather than wiping. And, boy, is it great during the pandemic!
@@suwaidajalal yes omg😂😂😂
@@suwaidajalal We all have a bidet in Italy as well
@@treesome3979 I am aware that most of Europe uses bidets. Sorry for the insinuation.
are they supposed to be that powerful tho?
"Looks like a fucking keyblade"
i lost my shit
Reason I subscribed: Your monotone voice and how hilarious you and your jokes are.
Wish I could meet cha someday.
mc jammy charlie
mc jammy meet you --->meetcha
Is it sad that when i got recommended this and it said "my secret bidet" in the title i thought of those Jewish hats and wondering how its going to be secret.
did he Say buy one, get one free, for a second price? so buy 2?
my mistake, he didn't say it was free, but I don't know why he stopped there and didn't say to buy 300 bidets.
And if you order within the next 15 minutes we will send you, absolutely free, the packaging it comes in.
I think by extra free, he meant extra shipping and handling.
He said you get the second one free, but you have to pay a separate shipping and handling *_FEE_*.
And usually the "handling fee" is an exhorbitant undisclosed amount
Cr1tiKal needs to narrate movies imagine the beginning to pacific rim with Cr1tiKal narration
"This giant ass robot just smacked the titty off of that creature!"
"Anailation"
Butt Sagget analation
@ 4:00 Lady looks cross eyed !🤣🤣🤣
I guess you could say she's "high as shit", huh?
Looks like a keyblade from kingdom hearts. That ended me
My mom bought one of these, and I gotta hand it to them. My asshole has never been so shiny.
Honestly I would love to see someone sit down to poo at a friends house, not know what the knob thing is, turn it on and get the shit scared out of them.
mahtexas but they already took a shit.
No, WASHED out of them.
Not gonna lie, i have this. Pretty good. Us filipino, we use soap and water to clean our downstair everytime we went to bathroom. Sorry but tissue just wipes out your doo doo but water and soap will clean the shit out 99.9%
that level of pressure when the knob is at level 2...at full power you'll probly master water bending once it hits your rectum
why does it have to be secret?
If you had a fucking nuclear weapon in your bathroom , wouldn't you want it to be secret¿?
Wasscoast fair enough
Because it would be hilarious to hear your friends screams after they get assblasted after taking a shit.
You're asking too many questions, don't let them know.
Of course, the whole point of a Doomsday Machine is lost, if you *keep* it a *secret*! Why didn't you tell the world, EH?
Everyone knows the proper way is the 3 seashell method.
Now that's what I call a fucking reference ! Hell yeah !
please explain? :D
knowyourmeme.com/memes/three-seashells
Holy fuck i never thought id see that again
fawk, im glad someone remember this awesome movie :)
"Gently rinses the mess away"
Has the same energy as
"Dumbledore asked calmly"
It's not really a secret if you put your brand's name right there on the control pad
...weapon of ASS destruction
I know I can't be the first to that joke but I haven't read the comments yet
redrounin boi that pfp
redrounin I put it in the top of the comments for you. Your welcome.
WEAPON OF m ASS DESTRUCTION
XD yep
Just shut up and praise the sun
There was literally a bidet advertisement that I had to watch when I clicked on this video 😂
Saahir Jiwani lol same
Same here what are the odds.
"looks like the key for kingdom hearts"
BEHOLD THE KEY TO OPEN YOUR ARSE.