As a child and tomboy I had lots of male friendships I enjoyed, so it was a rude awakening when I entered my 20’s and my niceness got me into sticky situations with my male acquaintances. Kind of heartbreaking to realize eventually they’d want more - while I couldn’t understand why my friendship wouldn’t ever be enough… There really is “no way to win”🙃💯
In terms of managing yourself, I heard somewhere that you shouldn't force yourself to do something for work that you wouldn't ask a co-worker to do. That was pretty eye opening.
In college, there was a guy living in my dorm who struggled with depression, and the RA was worried about him. She asked him to hold a volunteer position for the dorm of some sort, I don't recall what exactly. But I think the message was the same -- we need you, you are needed and wanted here. ❤ Letting your friend help you is an act, it's like saying "you mean something to me," but acting on it, instead.
Great episode. Jess possesses a level of self control I could never have; she fought every instinct to recover from that impromptu balloon party at 1:09:31 😅🎈🎈
Great podcast episode. Thank you. I loved the story about the tampon guy. I think it's his reaction to your "vulnerability". Of course it's all in the subconscious, but he felt like you trusted him with a secret of sorts and he stepped up to save the day
I could be totally misunderstanding - and I even went back to hear the letter read 3 additional times - but it sounded to me like the letter writer and her husbands were the ones who felt they might not be able to treat the friendship the same anymore (with the couple who notified them of their boundary). I liked all your responses completely. But it seems like you both took her to be worried they were going to lose the friendship with the other couple. It was ambiguously worded enough that that is a valid interpretation and could be what she might. But I took it to mean the letter-writer and her husband will probably not be able to extend their friendship to this couple in the same way. And if that’s the case I think that’s sad and the point where they may possibly in the wrong. . The friend couple notified the letter-writer couple of a boundary. It is a legitimate and reasonable boundary. All the letter-writer and her husband need to do is respectfully acknowledge how the husband’s social media behaviors could look and how that must have been uncomfortable and apologize for the discomfort while explaining it’s just how he generally does things but that that will change bc he wants to support their boundary. From what info we have from the letter nobody did anything wrong on both sides. But if the letter-writer and her husband are the ones who don’t feel they can be the same on their friendship anymore bc they feel embarrassed, defensive, or angry about the boundary, then that feels like something wrong to me.
Caroline, your story at the end didn't seem sad to me, it seemed instructional and inspirational. Both of you gave me really good food for thought, as always!
I think the social norm of looping everyone in many times is less about fears of cheating or inappropriateness but more about the idea that if you all know each other and folx are close you don't want to leave anyone out. So you just put everyone on the message or DM and folx can mute or ignore if too many messages/memes etc. are being shared.
We need merch “rise and smell the birds” 😂
As a child and tomboy I had lots of male friendships I enjoyed, so it was a rude awakening when I entered my 20’s and my niceness got me into sticky situations with my male acquaintances. Kind of heartbreaking to realize eventually they’d want more - while I couldn’t understand why my friendship wouldn’t ever be enough… There really is “no way to win”🙃💯
😊😊😊😊😊😊😊
I love "sipping coffee and smelling birds" early in the morning 😂 it's not by choice though. Pets wake me up early.
In terms of managing yourself, I heard somewhere that you shouldn't force yourself to do something for work that you wouldn't ask a co-worker to do. That was pretty eye opening.
In college, there was a guy living in my dorm who struggled with depression, and the RA was worried about him. She asked him to hold a volunteer position for the dorm of some sort, I don't recall what exactly. But I think the message was the same -- we need you, you are needed and wanted here. ❤ Letting your friend help you is an act, it's like saying "you mean something to me," but acting on it, instead.
Great episode. Jess possesses a level of self control I could never have; she fought every instinct to recover from that impromptu balloon party at 1:09:31 😅🎈🎈
Caroline, as a self employed gardener, having to self motivate and discipline has been so challenging
Great podcast episode. Thank you. I loved the story about the tampon guy. I think it's his reaction to your "vulnerability". Of course it's all in the subconscious, but he felt like you trusted him with a secret of sorts and he stepped up to save the day
it was such a surprising and sweet moment. it felt weirdly bonding! i was so excited to share this story but didnt know if i'd convey the magic of it
I could be totally misunderstanding - and I even went back to hear the letter read 3 additional times - but it sounded to me like the letter writer and her husbands were the ones who felt they might not be able to treat the friendship the same anymore (with the couple who notified them of their boundary). I liked all your responses completely. But it seems like you both took her to be worried they were going to lose the friendship with the other couple. It was ambiguously worded enough that that is a valid interpretation and could be what she might. But I took it to mean the letter-writer and her husband will probably not be able to extend their friendship to this couple in the same way. And if that’s the case I think that’s sad and the point where they may possibly in the wrong.
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The friend couple notified the letter-writer couple of a boundary. It is a legitimate and reasonable boundary. All the letter-writer and her husband need to do is respectfully acknowledge how the husband’s social media behaviors could look and how that must have been uncomfortable and apologize for the discomfort while explaining it’s just how he generally does things but that that will change bc he wants to support their boundary. From what info we have from the letter nobody did anything wrong on both sides. But if the letter-writer and her husband are the ones who don’t feel they can be the same on their friendship anymore bc they feel embarrassed, defensive, or angry about the boundary, then that feels like something wrong to me.
Caroline, your story at the end didn't seem sad to me, it seemed instructional and inspirational.
Both of you gave me really good food for thought, as always!
Love the title ❤
haha that's my baddddd. You got here early! just updated :)
@@Not4EveryonePodthank goodness you’ve reuploaded! It had frozen for me in the middle of the tampon story! 😅
I think the social norm of looping everyone in many times is less about fears of cheating or inappropriateness but more about the idea that if you all know each other and folx are close you don't want to leave anyone out. So you just put everyone on the message or DM and folx can mute or ignore if too many messages/memes etc. are being shared.
The gym story is a good example of a phenomenon known as the “Ben Franklin effect.”
Ohhhh I'm early today! ❤
💛
I hate my boss but I’m my boss.