My life fell apart 6 years ago, problems with work, life and relationships. Doctor carried out memory tests, blood tests advised perimenopausal, no help. Finally got HRT and antidepressants for low mood this time last year. Still had issues with memory, accused of not listening, taking instruction, making silly mistakes. Culminating in disciplinary proceedings and loosing my job in December 2023. In April this year at the age of 56 diagnosed with severe inattentive ADHD and on the Autism spectrum. Wish I had seen this years ago, totally relate. Big up to all the MAD sisters out there xx
Thank you for sharing, I am going through this right now. Just lost my job because I was totally lost, due to brain fog, executive dysfunction and extreme anxiety brought on by perimenopause and I suspect undiagnosed ADHD. I’m interested to know if you’ve been able to turn your life around since diagnosis?
@@MichAndo2712 Hi, yes things are much better now thanks. I am working 3 varied part time jobs which keep me interested and engaged, after 5 months of unemployment. Currently having counselling, not specifically for ADHD, which is kinda helping. Reflecting on the past year, I am so glad I am out of that toxic situation. How are you getting on?
@@EdelweisSusie Too late for that now, but thank you. I had contacted ACAS at the time and they suggested constructive dismissal, however I had not recorded or kept written evidence. I decided not to pursue any further as I had already fought it for so long and was physically and mentally drained.
Your talk brought me to tears. I have recently come to believe that I am ADHD. I am a 61 year old female. No one has ever considered me being ADHD until my grown children told me they think I am. My life makes a lot more sense now. Add that to my confused hormones and retiring during a pandemic and some days are very hard! I SO appreciate your talk!
I am so grateful to your TED talk addressing these important issues in women ADD / perimenopause and menopause ..they are really issues!!! We are starting to address the disparity between mens health and women’s health research which directly effects womens lives, marriages, families and careers ! It is a huge issue for those effected! Please join the Femtech revolution to make a difference in humanity!
Same here, I only realised I might have ADHD after researching about it for my eldest as she has all the traits. So many moments of 'oh! I do that too' or 'I was like that as a kid'. I'm perimenopausal too at the age of 48 and my Dr just recommends HRT 🙄 no thank you! My Dr refused to even test my hormone levels after I turned 40 😢 so I did a private test instead.
I was diagnosed in the middle of my 50s. Perimenopause for me was ages 44 to 55. I lost my job as a nurse. I couldn’t hold a thought for things I’d known and done for years. I have treatment now but I am on disability. It’s crushing. I miss my career and the old me. It’s just never been the same since I was 44. Thank you for bringing this to light.
"Menopausal women in 2022 are under significantly more pressure than previous generations." WOW. Just WOW. You have me in tears. Thank you for seeing me ❤
Had to pause the video and take a moment for a good cry for the sad little girl and overwhelmed young woman who believed her undiagnosed ADHD symptoms were her own moral shortcomings, and for the perimenopausal woman I am today, so frustrated with never feeling “well” and all the many symptoms described here. I had been so burnt out and considering leaving my career of 20+ years, when my daughter suggested therapy and my therapist casually mentioned “ADHD women like you.” As I read about the symptoms I felt so heard and seen, just like watching this video today. Thank you so much for sharing your experience! ❤ I can now say that I’m quite MAD 😂 and no longer alone!
Thank you for sharing Hannah. I've definitely cried many tears for the lost little girl who couldn't figure out why she struggled with some of the basics. I'm so happy there's a MAD tribe growing now so we don't feel so alone.
You are definitely not alone. My eyes welled up with big tears as well. I received an ADHD diagnosis at 50 and although it was somewhat of a relief to be able to put a name on it, I was so angry and sad for the little girl who never raised her hand in school because she was afraid she would be wrong; for the young woman who worked twice as hard as her colleagues because she felt she had to produce twice as much work so she would be worthy of her position and the mid-life woman who felt like she was past her prime and of no value professionally or personally. I feel badly for all the women out there who are still struggling and have no received a life-line like this. I'm a member of the MAD sisterhood too.
Me: -Adhd &CPTSD -Peri -Single mum of 2 x adhd boys -full time new grad OT working in a locked MH ward -Grief over mum with Alzheimer’s living in aged care Far out, limping along today. To all my sisters- I got you.
My chest felt pressure reading this, I've been there with the grief of parents in care home, dementia riddling their brains and bodies while holding down a full time job and doing my best to get my autistic daughter through school and all the struggles she had - bullying featuring throughout - my heart was shattered and my body about to be with onset of peri, but the additional weight of study and your demanding new role ... take what you need whenever you can grab it. I had what cardiologists eventually concluded was a stress-induced heart attack at 51. Turned out to be a gift, the only thing to jolt me into realising I was doing too much and had been adapting and borrowing from tomorrow's tank for too long. You'll be amazing on that ward, I bet you've a tonne of empathy which will make you a blessing for everyone there, and for their families. Let whatever else you can slide and when things are too much, take any form of break you're able to. There's no escape from all those responsibilities but there are small things we all have to let go of when we just can't do them all. You're amazing, be well ❤️
Same except for 4 on your list. And only one of my two boys have ADHD. Healthy veggie rich keto totally changed my life! Along with Vitex Berry supplement. So many of my CPTSD and ADHD symptoms are gone and continue to disappear! There is hope and just like everything, God is at the center. He had been my guide and source of wisdom leading me to solutions I never would have even considered much less come to with a barage of information.
Always known I had Bipolar Disorder and CPTSD. More recently BPD, but halfway through my distance degree course, at 51, diagnosed with ADHD. Finally, this year I got initials I actually wanted; BA (Hons)! A single parent with 3 children, all grown and fabulous human beings, I look back at a lifetime of abuse, resilience & stoicism and think what a bloody amazing woman I am!
I’m 51 and was diagnosed with BPD and ADHD 3 years ago. I can’t function at work at all, I’ve been off sick for a year and I’m back but now I’m pretending to be fine and hiding in the disorganized mess at work. I’m hoping it stays disorganized so I don’t get found out. I wish I could afford to take early retirement😢
I am a women with ADHD going through menopause. And it's torture. I honestly don't know if I can hold onto my job and also I have to pray daily that I can make it through I'm quite resilient but this is the worst thing I've ever dealt with. I'm also diagnosed recently, my whole life has been devastated by ADHD and I had no idea. Thank you for your efforts.
@@Thorogoodlife how do you get the HRT dose right? Also Ladies the harm is done by undiagnosed and untreated ADHD, not the ADHD itself and all those god awful womanly demands we live under- running homes, jobs the rest… kids, elderly relatives, more housework. I explained recently to my teenager- house work aka “ I filled the dishwasher yesterday” is like teeth brushing and bottom wiping, an every time activity- I’m confident you ADHD women will appreciate my humour, confidence- now that’s not a regular. Many only too keen to put us down. My 2 girls have also ADHD, my diagnosis 52. I feel so sad for them for all the struggles, I would never entertain such feelings for myself, I don’t let them know this, but I do tell them people have no clue how hard they try, how hard they work but that I do, so let home be a sanctuary ❤ and fill the dishwasher!! This voice space is so helpful 🙏
@@melliecrann-gaoth4789 Trial and error unfortunately. Blood tests are really inaccurate. Different women respond differently to the various types of HRT and dosage is usually determined by clinical judgement based on symptoms getting better or not.
This is a very good talk. I left my work in 2016 through illness. Mental and physical health. I have blamed most of my issues on the break up of my marriage and trauma from my past. But listening to your thoughts I definitely feel I started my peri menopause journey at 36. I am now in the ‘menopause’ this started at 47. The last 15 years of my life have been a struggle. I went from a girl who loved fun and being with family and friends, to a hermit. I went to concerts, festivals, football, shopping, nights out, meeting friends for lunch or coffee. Now I have to build up the courage to even walk out the door. I hate my life being on hold, but my anxiety and depression are awful. Home is my safe place.
Some of this is normal, no one stays the life of the party forever, we find ppl Who we called friends weren’t, and ppl who were okay… move on in different directions. I’ve moved out of my home state 2007. I’ve done a lot… alone. I’m ready to build a new life and being social again I want to be a good part of it. Community will be important in older years
This is how I've been feeling. I really have been worrying something is broken in my brain because it's like everything I've used to help me no longer works. Thank you so much for this talk!
I’m 54 and just got diagnosed. All of a sudden, every one of my “lazy, distracted, uptight, unfocused, scatterbrained, disorganized, daydreaming, irresponsible” flaws fell into place. Everyone warns women that menopause will come with changes, but menopause and ADHD, yikes! I couldn’t get anything done. At times, I feel like I need a guardian.
I am 53, recently diagnosed with ADHD and I have menopause to thank for that. All my coping strategies collapsed and it is so much harder to mask and appear ‘normal’. So many things in my life now make much more sense!
This is how I feel. I’m only 49 and I’m exhausted! Just so tired of what I call privately “putting on a show”. I can’t do it anymore. It’s destroying me. But I’m 15 years or more away from retirement. 😢. I don’t know what to do. Not even sure it’s ADHD .
@@abigailandino6251 me too, almost 52! I’ve just starting calling it out instead of masking. Like you, been “putting on the show” my whole life. Social anxiety has also always been big problem for me but also naturally a people person, so it’s been a constant internal battle. I started HRT and Sertraline Combo and really feel this has enabled me to engage more authentically with people. I also just call it out now instead of masking, like “I’m so sorry I didn’t call you back for two weeks, it’s due to a combination of menopause and adhd.” Not wasting energy on masking actually really helps. Also make sure you are getting iron and vitamin d levels checked regularly, as if these dip will make neurological disorders a lot worse.
I went through this! I think during my menopause, the increase in anxiety and emotional disregulation was the trigger for me learning that I've always struggled with these things. In this last year only have I discovered that all my 'problems' are symptoms of ADHD and C_PTSD. I'm 52! I was so deep in my masking that I was believing my own lies. Deep denial I was in. The first time I realised that my 'freak outs' were dis-regulation, and were triggered etc. well It was a bloomin' revelation! I could barely believe that I had been so blind to myself and my own reactions. Thank you for high lighting this subject.
me as well! At 60 I've lived my entire life basically a victim of my own brain chemicals yet blaming my own shortcomings and laziness! I'm not so bad after all 😅. If only AdHD and CPTSD were recognized back in the 70s..my life would have changed drastically. I would have been treated and medicated much earlier instead of just 2 years ago....good luck sister❤
The menopause stole my mask but a therapist said I probably had early onset cognitive impairment. Now I understand the brain fog, the 'depression' and all the other struggles are real and are actually ADHD symptoms made worse by lack of oestrogen and, although frustrating, feeling validated is wonderful. Being disparaged and ignored by the very health service which is supposed to help you is not. More education is needed (and more / any studies).
I am in the process and f getting my official diagnosis. I am post menopausal at 53 and I am lost. Hopefully my dx comes help I try to do my own research but I need more.
Amazing! I've been on the exact same journey, only realising after menopause and divorce, losing 8 jobs in 3 years, then having a total mental breakdown during lockdown, that I too have ADHD. I knew a lot about my son's ASD, but missed my own signs. The signs had been there lifelong in the form of judgement from others, leaving me feeling inadequate and broken. It's taken 3 years to piece myself together again. I hope your talk helps others know their truth, and find peace sooner.
Thanks for this talk. I just sold my successful business in Chile and now haven't got an income, haven't got a partner or children, or pension!!... some crazy decision making made it impossible for me cope with my business. Now I'm worried about what I am going to do.
Yes, i quit my job during peri menopause. Diagnosed with depression, anxiety and bi polar 2. It was all incorrect. It was thyroid and add. I'm so glad to hear this as I was worried about dementia
You just put some pieces in place for me. I know I'm perimenopausal, and I know I have ADHD, but I didn't realize that perimenopause can exacerbate symptoms of ADHD! You're right, there's a SERIOUS lack of education about it. Not even my gynecologist talked to me about all the possible symptoms. So I've been bugging my psych NP, telling her the Adderall isn't really helping anymore, and not once did she mention perimenopause... I'll be talking to them soon!
I feel pretty strongly that I have ADD, although I’ve never been diagnosed. My sense of failure & inadequacy has increased exponentially since menopause. I know I’m just another voice in this choir singing your praises, but THANK YOU! I feel seen.
I left work two years ago at 50 with severe major depression and feel thankful I have a roof over my head today as I cannot cope well with things that were easy, even fun previously. I still struggle daily. My brain which used to be able to tackle the most convoluted complex problems is like a mosh pit. Everything you presented represents this cluster I find myself in. There were other contributing factors to me hitting a wall, things going on in my life that can take a person down, so I didn't know what I was experiencing was peri-menopause and the ADHD fits to a T today. How? the doctors, therapists, psychologist, psychiatrist, mother, no-one has said menopause let alone ADHD but that is what I have been feeling like I have, WTF. I feel like I have been living in a twiglight zone. So grateful for this video!!!
I appreciate your analogy too - I’m the same age as you and grew up in the same era - lol - brilliant analogy. Late diagnosed at 48. I’m so angered by the LACK of research and support for women with ADHD - especially older women. There is a massive population of undiagnosed, underserved and misunderstood women. I say put the research money there so these wise women can have a good quality life because older women should not be overlooked and forgotten about - they deserve to be respected and deserve to have a good quality life - it’s never too late. Re perimenopausal symptoms - aside from the mosh pit brain, I’m even looking into bioidentical hormonal cream (snake oil?)- I just want to ease my body into menopause. Why is it so f’in difficult for women to get proper health care in the US ? Why is the healthcare community so shite-versed in women’s health - especially in this topic? (Not enough money?) I resent that I have to resort to the Internet/UA-cams for my knowledge on this topic… hence my attempt to investigate a probable snake oil product. Where is the respect here? Phuck American healthcare and our work cultures. Okay, I’ll get down from my soap box and join the mosh pit now.
"Brain like mosh pit." Nailed it, sister. Diagnosed at 55, after spending 3-4 yrs wondering why my memory had turned to Swiss cheese and my ability to start any complex task had evaporated. Learning to be a MAD middle -aged lady ain't easy!
My beautiful wife is in the beginning of menopause. What has made her so difficult to help is complicated by adhd and a brain injury which makes her aggressive and confused. We are getting through it but it isn't easy
You just described my life. I was diagnosed with adhd after my life started to fall apart at 50. I was also diagnosed with ASD, dyslexia, hypermobility dyspraxia and anxiety. I was in the middle of a master's degree and my brain suddenly stopped working. I could no longer think, read, complete sentences, control my impulses or hyperfixation and my memory was non existent. It took nearly 3 years to complete my part time master's, but with the support of my husband and daughter I graduate in 2 weeks time with distinction. There is absolutely no way that I could hold down a full time job, as unfortunately neurodiversity effects the same area of the brain, so when one aspect goes haywire, they all do. I'm hypersensitive to sensory stimuli, especially noise, light, heat, and smell, causing me to have frequent migraines. I try to manage my spoons, but unless I become a hermit there seems to be no way forward. In addition, my drop in estrogen affected my hypermobility, causing the connective tissue in my pelvic area to complete prolapse. Joy. I only knew about hot flushes and mood settings. Nothing prepares you for this. If anyone out there would like to collaborate in research I would be up for it as research is one of my special interests, and I'm a voracious and hyperfixated gleaner of information once my brain has decided it wants to do it. But be warned: I will not be able to stick to a dead line, and my structure and organisation will be non existent. But, my meandering neurodiverse brain will eventually creatively find patterns, connections and novelty and produce original and extremely well researched work. ❤
Wow, you’ve almost described me here. I’d created a bunch of coping mechanisms, and was high functioning and high masking. I found out about adhd in women while researching why I can’t cope with verbal instructions or training, and it had been getting worse. A couple of years after that I had complete burnout from trying to maintain my mask and resilience
I'm just coming up on 48 and at the same time hit with the fact I've always lived with ADD and masked it my entire life. My partner helped me cover up, but he passed away and I'm the only one who is supporting the family. Things have started getting very difficult. Both my kids are showing sign of ADHD and that is what has made me wake up. I appreciate this talk. The awareness is important.
This is eye opening. That said, I feel that there needs to be a follow-up video to explain what can happen now that we are equipped with this information. For example: what jobs are we best suited for now? does the battle between our hormones continue for the rest of our lives? what can balance look like? how do we get our doctors to understand what we're experiencing?
I agree. What can I do to make myself function much better? Like she said, my tools that have always worked don't anymore. Is there a pill to take to regulate the hormones and adhd, less adhd Ned's or more, behavior changes, etc. I'd like to know also, now that we understand the problem, what can be done to solve it.
Thank you for this video! It is so comforting to know there are so many women that are going through the same struggles as I have been because I am 57 years old and I have been going through menopause since I was about 40 but the last 5 years have been awful. I went from the happy grandma that wanted all the grandkids and kids here for parties and holidays to not wanting anyone here and staying in the bed not wanting to get out and feeling mad and bad stressed! Just wanting to scream at someone for every little thing and cursing when I never used to. I’ve changed into a completely different person. I did start some low dose antidepressants for about 1year and stopped and that is better but I still struggle with my thoughts and cleaning and organizing but I do see some improvement. I wondered why my menopause was so bad because my moms wasn’t but I was also diagnosed with ADHD years ago.
Im a medical professional, aged 60. This is an eye opening presentation that gives me so much hope for the adhd and memory problems I experience. I cannot retire yet, its not possible, but I feel so much less crazy after hearing this information.
Thank you. TED put a disclaimer on my talk because I'm not a medical professional. I don't believe I was giving any kind of medical advice, rather my own experience. It seems like my experience is true for many women and I very much appreciate you taking time to leave a comment.
Not enough attention and supports for late diagnosed women on the spectrum or with ADHD. Healthcare has neglected women’s health for so many generations. It’s crucial for our physical, mental, and emotional health that we demand better care. We deserve better care. Appreciate your story and your vulnerability. I’m trying to prep and navigate this transition - we need more support and mentoring as we navigate this change.
This is me now. I'm exactly in this place, certain I'm undiagnosed adhd and definitely menopausal and all the ways I've coped and scraped by in life have failed and im lost at sea, the way I've been feeling for the last 3 years i would not care if I fell asleep didn't wake up again. I have absolutely no desire to prompt that outcome and would never cause myself harm but simply the continuation of my life as it is right now is not worth anything for myself. I have 2 amazing and beautiful children who are my world and they are 100% worth anything . I have to keep fighting for their sake and help them with their struggles so they will have a better life. They are each half my heart outside my body and i will always be there for them. I just wish my life wasn't so hard
Oh my word, my thoughts EXACTLY ...right down to having 2 children. I fantasized about going to bed and not waking up....soooo tired. Been taking medication for 2 months now and it has changed my life. It is not EASY, but for the first time my brain is sometimes at peace.....for the FIRST time in 50 years. It's sad to think of the wasted time.
Sweet Sister - your comment is my experience as well. If it were not for my 2 extraordinary children, I wouldn’t care if I fell asleep and didn’t awaken either. Bev’s talk here, gives me hope with the truth that I am not alone. Sending love and prayers to you and ALL my MAD sisters. Love, love, LOVE! ❤
You hit a cord with the comment about early-onset dementia. I honestly think I’m losing my mind! 55, menopausal, undiagnosed. I appreciate your viewpoint!
I am a teacher who discovered I had this brain organization that is called ADHD while training to be a school teacher in my 40’s. I am now 62 and I had to leave teaching during the pandemic because I simply could not keep up with all of my responsibilities. I never knew that there was a connection between hormones and ADHD.
me too. I handled it well for so long, by working round the clock, I had no kids or husband so "had the time", but the few months before Covid I had a near breakdown because I completely burnt out. Too much physical pain and stress and overwhelmed. It took a while to realize that what happened was my meds that got me through so many years and allowing me to function, just weren't working anymore. :( And then of course there was a shortage. I had taken short term disability, but when Covid hit, I had just gotten to the 20 year mark and figured I needed to retire early. It was a hard decision but I just couldn't continue anymore. Then I ended up going on disability because during that time I was "off" (i.e. in intensive therapy) I found out I also had high functioning Autism! But I'm still struggling and supposedly still "in menopause" after 10 years! It feels like a no win situation :(
I’m ADHD and almost 60 yrs old. I really believed it would go away before now 😢 I’ve been told a lot of derogatory things about how I am. To the point I feel like a pos all the time. People aren’t nice at times 😢
OMG, preach! I suffered a mental breakdown last year at the age of 50. All of a sudden I just could no longer function. It was as if everything I've ever been able to do in work and in life just ended. I spent 2 days in my home office just staring at my email inbox and could not mentally process ANYTHING. I finally had to take short term disability and get counseling which did help but honestly, your talk sounds so much exactly like what I am going thru. I'm currently off work now again and just don't think I can go back full time. I've been in healthcare for 30 years and the way things are now, both personally and professionally, tell me I have to create more space away from work. Lump me into those women not working due to menopausal impacts. THANKS AND BLESS YOU!
@@BevThorogood I agree. It does not solve every problem, not by a long shot, but it helps so much! I am still furious about that faulty and subsequently hideously misreported WHI study which has essentially panned out to be the biggest stinking pile of BS, yet so many still believe HRT is "dangerous". SMH. So glad I'm in the EU where it is no longer demonized (it is still, by some, but enough docs are clued in that treatment is easy to find, and it's covered by insurance, too)
I can relate to you and your experience. I had a hysterectomy at 48, fully hormonal and went cuckoo for awhile afterwards. I didn't get HRT. I ended up in a psych unit, wrongly diagnosed and overmedicated for a couple years until I nearly died from them. I quit the meds, went back to my prior meds but haven't been the same since. I've always known it's my ADHD and menopause or those horrible meds made it much worse. I've ended up on SSDI, I was a critical care nurse for 22 years before. I don't want to continue functioning this way but I don't know what to do about it. My life has been dysfunctional since menopause (hysterectomy) and I agree with her and can relate to you.
I am 48 and have been struggling my entire life to find the right help for my issues. I now think I have been misdiagnosed my whole life! And I’ve been struggling recently with peri menopausal symptoms so I really needed to hear this!! 😢 -exhausted in IL ❤
Thank you!!❤ I am about to send this video to my employer, doctor, counsellor...because it describes exactly what I am experiencing in my life right now. I am in menopause and on 50% sick leave from my job (which I love). I initially blamed stress as the number one cause of my problems (such as brain fog, fatigue headaches migrains and more). Now I see your video and it confirmed all my growing suspicions that the stress is only a symptom of my hormones going bananas again and this time in new, not so exciting ways! My husband sometimes jokingly say: You can't blame the hormones! Because early in our relationship, before me and two of our children were diagnosed with ADHD and Aspberger and we learned all we could about the hormones role in regulating all of our emotions, actions and reactions, he didn't believe hormones could have that much importance in our daily life. But now after 20 years he has accepted the fact that almost all of our daily struggles are actually due to hormones in one way or the other. This is just something the whole world should realize and the fact that you did the research and put them into words (WITHOUT seeming completely MAD, which is what I feel like when I try to explain to people around me that have no experience of this) in order to educate society is super impressive, important and SO helpful! ❤
Hi Elisabeth, I don't think many people realise how impactful our hormone balance is on ALL aspects of our physical and mental wellbeing. I'm happy to hear you 'won' your husband round and very good luck getting everyone else to listen and understand. Thank you so much for you comment.
Since my diagnosis at 43, I have been a sponge when it comes to ADHD research. I have read at least 30 books and spent THOUSANDS of hours researching online. Yours is one of the most informative talks I've heard, and I wish every woman with ADHD could hear it. Thank you for your honesty and your bravery!
I agree. Wheels are falling off the bus. I remember abdicating lots of stuff to the ex-husband. And it allowed me to work corporate......until the divorce and peri. Those Winky wheels LOL
I'm 56 and have not been formally diagnosed with ADHD, but my brain going offline during the pandemic was the most scary experience. I feel like I lost my ability to mask my symptoms and have been actively trying to figure out what's been going on with my brain, while gradually realizing I have been masking ADHD my whole life. I haven't been considering the impact of hormones on why things got so bad so fast. So thank you for that. The journey continues.
This really resonated with me, I’m 55, diagnosed with combined ADHD last year. Menopause was a big factor in the escalation of my ADHD traits and left me unable to cope with everyday life. Thankfully I am now medicated and life is a lot easier though by no means easy. I know quite a lot of women who have gone through/are going through a similar process since peri menopause. It’s crazy that there is no research done, it has blown my mind that ADHD wasn’t recognised in women until so late. This has to change!
What kind of Dr did you see to finally be heard and get proper meds? My OBGYN suggested Wellbutrin but I am hesitant as this feels like an umbrella medication. Thoughts?
Thank you for this talk, Bev Thorogood. I am a woman who was diagnosed with ADHD when I was 67. In my case, my condition was recognized my a psychology professional. I had no suspicion I had ADHD. My only understanding was that I had a stress and anxiety problem. Once I learned the truth, so many things fell into place. I, too, had to quit a college teaching career several years after menopause started. I could no longer cope with large classrooms and lectures. The career failure is the worst part, especially when you have no idea why it is happening. Ms. Thorogood is right: there is as yet virtually no research of this problem of menopausal effects on ADHD women, but with so many more professional women depending on their careers, such research will quickly become necessary.
I'm not even kidding when I say this. This video may well have saved my life . Our timelines could not be more in line but for a few differences. Thankyou Thankyou so much! ❤😭
I'm 53, and was finally diagnosed at 51. I definitely present atypically, so this really resonated for me. The stereotypes have to change, especially given the lack of proper diagnoses for women. I was diagnosed bipolar and BPD and put on over a dozen meds that had horrible side effects. I'm medicated properly now, but menopause is still an additional challenge on top of this new normal of adapting to my diagnosis. If you're struggling, keep going and keep fighting to be taken seriously. ❤
Beverly, I can't thank you enough 😢I'm in post menopause and I feel as if I've completely lost control of myself. Thank you for explaining this to me xxxx ❤❤❤❤
I could be a poster child for your talk! 59, retired in 2022, 32 years military, but suddenly exhausted, couldn’t focus, anxiety through the roof etc etc. After seeing a few doctors, had many “tests” that resulted in no diagnosis I finally thought well I must be getting old. This is how it is now. The military is a young persons game I guess so I moved on. Got lots of rest, yoga, walking instead of intensive pt. I think I did everything I could to help myself. But 2 years later I still had the symptoms. So again I go back to a different doctor who referred me to a hormonal specialist. Short of it is that my hormones are completely out of whack, dangerously. My adrenal glands were struggling AND through all that, I was diagnosed with ADHD. At 59! Who would have thought. No typical symptoms at all. Thank you for your talk. I feel normal again. 😊
At 60 I’m just piecing together the puzzle pieces of my crazy life with the help of talks like yours! Thank you! My grandchild has been diagnosed with ADHD and autism and my now grown up child and I have struggled through life in exactly the areas you have described. It now all makes sense and the penny has dropped and I no longer beat my self up over my ‘failings’ instead I am starting to be proud of myself for coping and doing my best through life’s challenges and enjoying life without guilt of not doing enough. I am happy to be part of this neurodiverse community of ladies with life experience!
As a recently diagnosed menopausal woman with ADHD, I can totally relate. I’m still working, but barely! Thank you for reminding me that I’m not alone!
I am struggling at the moment. My research in to ADHD points to the fact that I have always had it. tics as a child, skin picking, ditzy, 'tactless', people pleaser, grammar school girl, eating disorder, lower than low self esteem, risk taker, underachiever, substance misuse, PND, toxi relationships, emotional disregulation. I am menopausal on HRT but I am floundering as a newly divorced woman who can barely look after herself let alone her own teenage children.
I want to say thank you. I'm 57 and in a week im seeing my doctor because my life is falling apart and I know that it's adhd as my kids have it and I have seen it in myself all my life but it has finally got to the point I can't deal with it anymore. I was thinking it's because I can't burn it off the way I could years ago. But this helps me so much thank you. I so glad I can cross this. Now I don't feel so alone.
Same I am 58 and just got diagnosed. An earlier diagnosis might have saved my career I was going through the worst of this and didn’t know what my problem was two fold ADHD and menopause.
This is such a wonderful talk that I wish I would have heard sooner. This is the type of education that women need to hear. I had the exact same experience as you, and feared that I was starting the early stages of dementia. My sister experienced the same. We both sought out medical testing because we were frightened that our bodies and mind were out of our control. I received an ADHD diagnosis at the age of 50 and while it felt good to identify it, I was deeply saddened and angry for all of the opportunities I lost because of something I didn't know I had. Thank you for sharing this with the world, you are making a huge impact. Keep talking.
A quick fix is HRT, I had to plead and argue my case to receive it, but it held back the aches and pains, the waves of fatigue, the hot flushes, and gave me the energy and focus to complete a physically demanding pre-trades course, whilst working and supporting two teenagers. On average I'd get one day off a fortnight, but I was so productive. I'm building up my resources to undertake more training and diversifying my skillset. I couldn't do it without getting my hormone top- up
Thank you Bev. This made me cry. I'm 57 and after a mental health crisis (and recovering from lung cancer) I am now being assessed for ADHD. I feel I have found my user manual but realise this is only the start of the journey. I am about to re-start work and am terrified. Thank you for giving me some hope x
As a peri Meno 46 yr old I had a complete break down and had to take 6mths off work to try to adjust to a new me. The brain fog, fatigue and lack of self worth are really bad. Then I started to read up on ADHD (a counselor recommended my daughter should be referred for diagnosis) My eyes started to open to a world I didn't understand but that totally described ME. Watching a lass from the NE talk about her own journey just clarified my thoughts. Thank you for sharing your story xx I'm definitely M.A.D. ❤
Thank you so much! I'm in tears 😭😭😭! I really identify with a lot of what you have to say, even though I did well in school up to 6th Form, apart from in exam conditions that is 😬. I had little to no Perimenopause, due to issues with ovarian cysts, that led to the loss of/ surgical removal of my ovaries, one before, and one after, my hysterectomy (in my early to mid 30s 😢). The last surgery, 7 years ago, plunged me immediately into the Menopause, with no real education on what that could mean for me. Already struggling to function with a combination of physical, and Mental-Emotional health issues, being forced into the Menopause has really caused cracks in the masking that I am increasingly aware of having used for so long. Thank you for all of the effort and energy you are putting into education, and understanding of Perimenopause/ Menopause, and ADHD in Womenn and girls. Is invaluable!!!! Sorry if there are tons of typos, this undiagnosed suspected ADHDer has run out of focus and energy to thoroughly check for them 😅. Sending you lots of postive energy and virtual hugs 🧑🏽🫳🏽💫🫴🏽💞🫂💕
I’m very grateful for you taking time to comment even when the mental tank was empty. Hopefully you’re getting the support and treatment you need now. 🙏
Thank you for this. I am barely getting by now with ADD and menopause. Still constantly moving and starting over, with less each time. Now facing a medical issue without health insurance or real friends (watching them all succeed at family and careers was too hard). In DEEP regret over lost opportunities, and embarrassed at the excessive amount of money and effort I've wasted trying to find a place to fit in. I've had more than one therapist tell me that "everyone has trouble focusing", but they didn't have to go to 4 colleges before getting a degree, or leave good jobs for lesser ones because of feelings of incompetence. Because I am alone (no kids or partner) and educated, I would never go on medicaid, but the bills will take the rest of my life to pay off. It is the most confounding situation. And very very lonely.
I'm so sorry. I feel your pain as my journey has been similar, especially the deep regrets over opportunities I've let go because I just could not do what was needed to get things done. The effort was exhausting and beyond me. I'm also alone, and recently had a serious health scare. All I can say is that I'm sorry you are in this situation, and I understand.
Where to start. I've just started researching ADHD as I've related to the few videos I've watched, including this one. Thank you so much for sharing this, I'm about to turn 64 yo, and retire. I'm hoping learning more about this will help answer some questions I've had for years, and maybe it wasn't my shortcomings but an undiagnosed condition, what a concept. Again, thank you so much for sharing your story and knowledge, you've encouraged me and inspired me. xx
I am not diagnosed with ADHD. However, I have recently come to realise it's highly likely that I have always had it. And in my current early on set menopause due to surgery. I related hard to every.single.bit of this. Thank you.
So grateful. MAD we are! I also think research into the link between ADHD/Peri and marriage breakdown would reveal interesting ties. Now look at the rates of women over 55 in economic distress or experiencing homelessness and let’s talk about the social impacts of it all together. Quit or lose your job, breakup, breakdown….
Thank you so much Bev for your heart felt talk! I will join your MAD crew with a badge of honour! ☺️. Everything you spoke about rang true. I first felt the difficulties after having my daughter (which caused hormonal changes) and it has continued into perimenopause. I’ve gone from working 6 days a week, to working part time hours, which has been financially crippling. I am originally from the UK but moved to Oz. I am hoping to work in a remote location, with less people and in nature. It will be a massive change, but I am hoping that it will help me manage my ADHD and peri hormonal symptoms 🙏☺️ Thanks again, Kate ❤️
Lost everything I worked and suffered for because while I knew I had severe ADHD --I had no idea how Perimenopause would disrupt my hormones rendering me almost completely useless. Horrible timing w the pandemic because I thought I was just depressed and lonely. By the time I started to realize something was horribly wrong with me..... I couldn't convince doctors.
Thank You Beautiful Lady. This is what the world really needs, talking about our struggles and finding solutions to make us and this world a better place. God bless You ❤
I came to the conclusion that menopause was wrecking me and causing havoc in my ADHD world. What I didn’t realize is that it may be possible to hack my hormones. This gives me hope. My happy & easy go lucky disposition has become sad and a tad bitter with brain fog and complete organizational chaos to boot. Your speech has given me hope. Thank you.
I definitely went through a MAD phase, if not still going through it. I was unable to focus and my motivation levels hit rock bottom after a hysterectomy at 50. I retired early and simply have done my best to take care of my personal relationships under what seems like a bit of a cloud at times. Learning about the role of Dopamine and other coping strategies has helped a lot. Also, finding out that I'm not alone is a huge revelation.
Just started craint after your talk. Early menopaused at 43, now 49 with 2 young children 6 and 9. And just realising I probably have had ADHD since childhood. This gave me great confort nowing I maby not as much as à failiure as I beleive myself to be but doing as well as I can despite the situation. Thank you so much ❤
Thank YOU.. I’m in my mid 50’s and in the last few weeks have decided that i have ADHD…ADD in fact. The last 4 years have been… MAD. Thank you for this talk..just fantastic ❤
I'm crying. This is my story, too! I seriously thought I was going crazy and that it was just a me thing. I will be sharing this with my physician. Thank you for sharing this incredible information. Bless you, dear woman.
So relateable...this last year i have figured out i have adhd...i too didn't understand my symptoms, i thought i was just chaos, the mad artist i am...but with perimenopause and starting my own business, it has shown up so strongly and I feel like a complete mess. the sleepless nights causing bad daily habbits, feeding into lythargy, its an ongoing cycle and i just want some calm....i did go to the doc last week, to start figuring out something...thanks for getting the word out and if you find someone who wants to study us, i'm keen!! :)
Thanks for making this ted talk, I hope you can help many women to understand what's happening to them during this hormonal transition. I was left out in the cold, totally unsupported, drowning from the consequences of my own bad life choices when I found myself in a very early post menopause. I lost almost everything and have spent the past 14 years rebuilding my life. Now I have balanced my hormones with HRT (all three) I am retraining in horticulture in the hope I'll be able to get paid work at some point. I still have not tried to get an adhd diagnosis, but I am definitely MAD. lol
I am disappointed that this is the only talk I have personally ever seen flagged by TED for content. I appreciate the guidelines, but it just goes to show how much help we need. This talk was reaffirming from the start.
Research on ADHD in girls, women and peri menopausal women is sorely needed. And the word needs to get out to established physicians as well as medical schools to educate their students on those topics. A decade ago when I suspected I had ADHD the psychiatrist I saw was sure I did not have it, as I was in a stable marriage, had raised 3 children, etc. I had to explain all the struggle it meant to keep up appearances with coping mechanisms. The fact that it was even more difficult to function due to peri menopause never occurred to me or him!
I feel you speaking directly about me. Diagnosed ADHD at 47 while going through menopause. Lucky I have HRT and a female doctor guiding me. The ADHD is still being dealt with but I am tired, been under massive work stress. I'm moving jobs but am dog tired......thank you for validating my experiences.
Great talk can relate as a 51 year old whose undiagnosed ADHD got a whole lot worse when peri menopause kicked in ! Realised I had ADHD after my teen daughter ( inattentive type ) was diagnosed last year. 😊
I absolutely love this video. Thank you so much. All the things you're talking about in this video are me. Never living up to my dad's expectations of who I was supposed to be; nor understanding that there was something different about me. The daydreaming, loving music, cosmetics and fashion. I squeezed myself into a career but none of them were what I wanted to do. I found out at 40 that I had ADHD after my son was born. And the embarrassment of not being able to keep a tidy home; not a room anymore. Thank you so much for helping me to understand now.l😢
My dad was diagnosed with ADHD in his 60's. I am now menopausal and recently diagnosed in my early 50's. I have been learning as much as I can about ADHD. I just want to do better at work and in my relationships. I am grateful to learn more about myself now.
I’m 54….6 months my life completely fell apart or completely turned upside down. What was, was now completely opposite. Shock wore off, heart is ❤️🩹……. I’m not where I was 6months ago….. everything will heal! When you understand what is happening….❤️🩹☀️ to everyone, knowledge, never give up! 🌸
A brilliant talk, Bev! Brian provided the link from his channel. Yes, MAD indeed! When I went through it, I was just told to get on with it. This was some 25 years ago. Oestrogen tablets were the way to go, then it appeared they caused cancer, so after a year I stopped them and went on to herbal tablets, which helped considerably. Luckily, it was over after about 2 years, and boy, do you feel free! No more tampons etc! I too left my job, then returned to a different one. The hot flushes were the worst, especially when you’re sitting at a meeting trying to look intelligent!!! Greetings from the Land of Oz🇦🇺
@@northernfox6420 I’m in Australia. They’re different here. Ask a pharmacist and see what they have, or a herbalist.The ones I took, I can’t remember the name, but I don’t think they’re made anymore.
Glad I got the tip about your TED talk from your brother. I was unaware and now have useful information to help and support the women in my family. Thank you!
I was first diagnosed by an Ed Psych in 2006 when the NHS refused to handle adults because ADHD didn’t exist in Adults at that time despite their lack of help meaning I got kicked off my degree course and had to start again with a new, different degree. Ironically I wasn’t failing the degree, I was sitting at between a first and 2:1 but my head of department refused to let me into practice without me being properly diagnosed and medicated. He had decided ADHD was a ‘personality disorder’ and I would be ‘a danger’ to the children in practice. He forced me out essentially because of a neurological difference. I had spoken once out of turn. That was it. After that, I coped until perimenopause when recently the wheels have fallen off. Ironically the psychiatrist who formally diagnosed me couldn’t believe I had never been diagnosed before as I present like a little boy. I’m obvious. I was as a child and I am now. I have a hyperactive body and mind. But I am struggling now I’ve hit that hormone drop. I have always used exercise to help me get through but I also have Ehlers-Danlos syndrome (which is often co-occurring with ADHD) and I can’t excerise the same way since early stages of perimenopause. So this is hitting me two fold. Then thirdly, I get serotonin syndrome really easily so I can’t take ADHD meds, so I get a three-fold hit. Do you know how much support I’m getting? Nothing. Zero. There is no support in the U.K. if you can’t take meds. ADHD is slowly killing me emotionally during perimenopause, I can’t function (and I’m only 46 right now!) and I’ve had zero support, and yes, I’ve been to my doctor.
I am so so sorry you're going through this Julliette 💕 It is so difficult to accept less energy and the many strengths you usually have being gone, or at least diminished, alongside such daily difficulty. I am sending you so much Love & Blessings right now and all I can say is keep asking ✨️ in new directions ~ there are many new options every day and more to come ❤ I just hope you find a way through and have many more opportunities to being your True Magic to the world 🎉We need you & your gifts 😊🙏🏻✨️
I’m interested in your comment about having EDS, as well. I do too and, since menopause, my hips and feet hurt to much that sometimes I can barely walk and it’s made exercising almost impossible. I’m also getting no support.
@therealjetlag yes!! I have been taking provitalize for the last 4 years. It is a natural supplement for menopause and has turmeric in it which has taken the pain away from hips and ankles 100%
I've been dealing with this for 15 years. I'm 58. I felt like Charly Gordon in Flowers for Algernon coming down from his pinnacle of his intelligence back to his 68 IQ. I ran a business, and told my friend that I should fire me cuz I could no longer competantly perform my work. In the last year, I've really unraveled, and am exhausted, anxious and almost paralyzed. I was wondering how I could continue with a quality of life to function. Thank you for this talk. Research is much needed. The problem is defined, now I can work on solutions.
Im ADHD and Im probably in Perimenopause. The lack of energy and focus I feel makes me never get out of the bed but then the anxiety sets in cause I am doing nothing. So I'm in a constant state of being a zombie. Starting a lot of things and never really accomplishing anything.
Amazing talk, thank you very much, I didn't realise the different ways ADHD showed in women. I started perimenopause at 39, gave up 3 jobs because of it, ended up on increased anti depressants & wanted to die because I couldn't handle or understand the changes. Thank you for explaining this clearly & highlighting the need of more research to help our kids ❤
I was diagnosed during my menopause period. I lost my job, my marriage. I then went on a huge spending spree. My house is now a huge mess and I have an enormous amount of unpaid pills and just piles of unnecessary stuff at home. I have been misdiagnosed with anxiety for almost two decades. Now the mess at home has completely crippled me and left me lying in bed. It’s just too much to handle.
OmG I am feeling like I have mild dementia and it’s terrifying I CANT BELIEVE YOU ADDRESSED THAT!! Fantastic!! Thank you so so much ❤
It's scary but it gets better 😊
I feel less isolated now
Same!
My life fell apart 6 years ago, problems with work, life and relationships. Doctor carried out memory tests, blood tests advised perimenopausal, no help. Finally got HRT and antidepressants for low mood this time last year. Still had issues with memory, accused of not listening, taking instruction, making silly mistakes. Culminating in disciplinary proceedings and loosing my job in December 2023. In April this year at the age of 56 diagnosed with severe inattentive ADHD and on the Autism spectrum. Wish I had seen this years ago, totally relate. Big up to all the MAD sisters out there xx
I’m so glad you finally got a diagnosis. I hope it helped you to make sense of everything. ❤
Thank you for sharing, I am going through this right now. Just lost my job because I was totally lost, due to brain fog, executive dysfunction and extreme anxiety brought on by perimenopause and I suspect undiagnosed ADHD. I’m interested to know if you’ve been able to turn your life around since diagnosis?
Take legal advice and put a claim in for unfair dismissal now you have the evidence to support your claim. Don’t delay.
@@MichAndo2712 Hi, yes things are much better now thanks. I am working 3 varied part time jobs which keep me interested and engaged, after 5 months of unemployment. Currently having counselling, not specifically for ADHD, which is kinda helping. Reflecting on the past year, I am so glad I am out of that toxic situation.
How are you getting on?
@@EdelweisSusie Too late for that now, but thank you. I had contacted ACAS at the time and they suggested constructive dismissal, however I had not recorded or kept written evidence. I decided not to pursue any further as I had already fought it for so long and was physically and mentally drained.
I left my marriage and my career and my business. I’m still dealing now. 51 and surviving and this talk made me feel validated and seen
All that and so young?? Well congratulations 🎉 you get a whole new life! ❤
Your talk brought me to tears. I have recently come to believe that I am ADHD. I am a 61 year old female. No one has ever considered me being ADHD until my grown children told me they think I am. My life makes a lot more sense now. Add that to my confused hormones and retiring during a pandemic and some days are very hard! I SO appreciate your talk!
It's such a lot to take in isn't it. But everything starts to make so much more sense. Be kind to yourself ❤
I am so grateful to your TED talk addressing these important issues in women ADD / perimenopause and menopause ..they are really issues!!! We are starting to address the disparity between mens health and women’s health research which directly effects womens lives, marriages, families and careers ! It is a huge issue for those effected! Please join the Femtech revolution to make a difference in humanity!
Ditto
Same here. Take care!
Same here, I only realised I might have ADHD after researching about it for my eldest as she has all the traits. So many moments of 'oh! I do that too' or 'I was like that as a kid'. I'm perimenopausal too at the age of 48 and my Dr just recommends HRT 🙄 no thank you! My Dr refused to even test my hormone levels after I turned 40 😢 so I did a private test instead.
I was diagnosed in the middle of my 50s. Perimenopause for me was ages 44 to 55. I lost my job as a nurse. I couldn’t hold a thought for things I’d known and done for years. I have treatment now but I am on disability. It’s crushing. I miss my career and the old me. It’s just never been the same since I was 44. Thank you for bringing this to light.
That's how I feel.
"Menopausal women in 2022 are under significantly more pressure than previous generations." WOW. Just WOW. You have me in tears. Thank you for seeing me ❤
Had to pause the video and take a moment for a good cry for the sad little girl and overwhelmed young woman who believed her undiagnosed ADHD symptoms were her own moral shortcomings, and for the perimenopausal woman I am today, so frustrated with never feeling “well” and all the many symptoms described here. I had been so burnt out and considering leaving my career of 20+ years, when my daughter suggested therapy and my therapist casually mentioned “ADHD women like you.” As I read about the symptoms I felt so heard and seen, just like watching this video today. Thank you so much for sharing your experience! ❤ I can now say that I’m quite MAD 😂 and no longer alone!
Thank you for sharing Hannah. I've definitely cried many tears for the lost little girl who couldn't figure out why she struggled with some of the basics. I'm so happy there's a MAD tribe growing now so we don't feel so alone.
@@Thorogoodlife aww! Thank you for the response! Your story resonated with me so much! Tearing up even now! ❤️
@@hannahpricekarlsson ❤️❤️
I feel ya
You are definitely not alone. My eyes welled up with big tears as well. I received an ADHD diagnosis at 50 and although it was somewhat of a relief to be able to put a name on it, I was so angry and sad for the little girl who never raised her hand in school because she was afraid she would be wrong; for the young woman who worked twice as hard as her colleagues because she felt she had to produce twice as much work so she would be worthy of her position and the mid-life woman who felt like she was past her prime and of no value professionally or personally. I feel badly for all the women out there who are still struggling and have no received a life-line like this. I'm a member of the MAD sisterhood too.
This is definitely my experience, as a 49 year-old woman with ADHD, perimenopause, and Multiple Sclerosis. Its really awful 😢
Me:
-Adhd &CPTSD
-Peri
-Single mum of 2 x adhd boys
-full time new grad OT working in a locked MH ward
-Grief over mum with Alzheimer’s living in aged care
Far out, limping along today.
To all my sisters- I got you.
You my dear need so much hugs 🫂💜
We got you too. You dont have to carry all this.
Sometimes it feels relief to know not alone.
My chest felt pressure reading this, I've been there with the grief of parents in care home, dementia riddling their brains and bodies while holding down a full time job and doing my best to get my autistic daughter through school and all the struggles she had - bullying featuring throughout - my heart was shattered and my body about to be with onset of peri, but the additional weight of study and your demanding new role ... take what you need whenever you can grab it. I had what cardiologists eventually concluded was a stress-induced heart attack at 51. Turned out to be a gift, the only thing to jolt me into realising I was doing too much and had been adapting and borrowing from tomorrow's tank for too long.
You'll be amazing on that ward, I bet you've a tonne of empathy which will make you a blessing for everyone there, and for their families. Let whatever else you can slide and when things are too much, take any form of break you're able to. There's no escape from all those responsibilities but there are small things we all have to let go of when we just can't do them all. You're amazing, be well ❤️
Same except for 4 on your list. And only one of my two boys have ADHD. Healthy veggie rich keto totally changed my life! Along with Vitex Berry supplement. So many of my CPTSD and ADHD symptoms are gone and continue to disappear! There is hope and just like everything, God is at the center. He had been my guide and source of wisdom leading me to solutions I never would have even considered much less come to with a barage of information.
Always known I had Bipolar Disorder and CPTSD. More recently BPD, but halfway through my distance degree course, at 51, diagnosed with ADHD. Finally, this year I got initials I actually wanted; BA (Hons)!
A single parent with 3 children, all grown and fabulous human beings, I look back at a lifetime of abuse, resilience & stoicism and think what a bloody amazing woman I am!
Blooming love this ❤
@BevThorogood aaaaw thanks xx
Darn and totally congrats!
I’m 51 and was diagnosed with BPD and ADHD 3 years ago.
I can’t function at work at all, I’ve been off sick for a year and I’m back but now I’m pretending to be fine and hiding in the disorganized mess at work. I’m hoping it stays disorganized so I don’t get found out.
I wish I could afford to take early retirement😢
@@dredknots I’m so sorry you’re struggling. It sounds exhausting. Have you thought about finding an ADHD coach?
I am a women with ADHD going through menopause. And it's torture. I honestly don't know if I can hold onto my job and also I have to pray daily that I can make it through I'm quite resilient but this is the worst thing I've ever dealt with. I'm also diagnosed recently, my whole life has been devastated by ADHD and I had no idea. Thank you for your efforts.
I'm so sorry you're having such a hard time. Please do consider getting some help, HRT is incredibly effective and safe 🤗
Please know you're not alone!
@@Thorogoodlife how do you get the HRT dose right? Also Ladies the harm is done by undiagnosed and untreated ADHD, not the ADHD itself and all those god awful womanly demands we live under- running homes, jobs the rest… kids, elderly relatives, more housework. I explained recently to my teenager- house work aka “ I filled the dishwasher yesterday” is like teeth brushing and bottom wiping, an every time activity- I’m confident you ADHD women will appreciate my humour, confidence- now that’s not a regular. Many only too keen to put us down. My 2 girls have also ADHD, my diagnosis 52. I feel so sad for them for all the struggles, I would never entertain such feelings for myself, I don’t let them know this, but I do tell them people have no clue how hard they try, how hard they work but that I do, so let home be a sanctuary ❤ and fill the dishwasher!!
This voice space is so helpful 🙏
@@melliecrann-gaoth4789 love this ❤️🙏
@@melliecrann-gaoth4789 Trial and error unfortunately. Blood tests are really inaccurate. Different women respond differently to the various types of HRT and dosage is usually determined by clinical judgement based on symptoms getting better or not.
This is a very good talk. I left my work in 2016 through illness. Mental and physical health. I have blamed most of my issues on the break up of my marriage and trauma from my past. But listening to your thoughts I definitely feel I started my peri menopause journey at 36. I am now in the ‘menopause’ this started at 47. The last 15 years of my life have been a struggle.
I went from a girl who loved fun and being with family and friends, to a hermit. I went to concerts, festivals, football, shopping, nights out, meeting friends for lunch or coffee. Now I have to build up the courage to even walk out the door. I hate my life being on hold, but my anxiety and depression are awful. Home is my safe place.
Some of this is normal, no one stays the life of the party forever, we find ppl
Who we called friends weren’t, and ppl who were okay… move on in different directions.
I’ve moved out of my home state 2007.
I’ve done a lot… alone. I’m ready to build a new life and being social again I want to be a good part of it. Community will be important in older years
@@SanctifiedLadyeasier said then done for some people
This is how I've been feeling. I really have been worrying something is broken in my brain because it's like everything I've used to help me no longer works. Thank you so much for this talk!
I’m 54 and just got diagnosed. All of a sudden, every one of my “lazy, distracted, uptight, unfocused, scatterbrained, disorganized, daydreaming, irresponsible” flaws fell into place. Everyone warns women that menopause will come with changes, but menopause and ADHD, yikes! I couldn’t get anything done. At times, I feel like I need a guardian.
I am 53, recently diagnosed with ADHD and I have menopause to thank for that. All my coping strategies collapsed and it is so much harder to mask and appear ‘normal’. So many things in my life now make much more sense!
This is how I feel. I’m only 49 and I’m exhausted! Just so tired of what I call privately “putting on a show”. I can’t do it anymore. It’s destroying me. But I’m 15 years or more away from retirement. 😢. I don’t know what to do. Not even sure it’s ADHD .
@@abigailandino6251 me too, almost 52! I’ve just starting calling it out instead of masking. Like you, been “putting on the show” my whole life. Social anxiety has also always been big problem for me but also naturally a people person, so it’s been a constant internal battle. I started HRT and Sertraline Combo and really feel this has enabled me to engage more authentically with people. I also just call it out now instead of masking, like “I’m so sorry I didn’t call you back for two weeks, it’s due to a combination of menopause and adhd.” Not wasting energy on masking actually really helps. Also make sure you are getting iron and vitamin d levels checked regularly, as if these dip will make neurological disorders a lot worse.
Your comment resonated with me. Coping mechanisms collapsed....
I went through this! I think during my menopause, the increase in anxiety and emotional disregulation was the trigger for me learning that I've always struggled with these things. In this last year only have I discovered that all my 'problems' are symptoms of ADHD and C_PTSD. I'm 52! I was so deep in my masking that I was believing my own lies. Deep denial I was in. The first time I realised that my 'freak outs' were dis-regulation, and were triggered etc. well It was a bloomin' revelation! I could barely believe that I had been so blind to myself and my own reactions. Thank you for high lighting this subject.
me as well! At 60 I've lived my entire life basically a victim of my own brain chemicals yet blaming my own shortcomings and laziness! I'm not so bad after all 😅. If only AdHD and CPTSD were recognized back in the 70s..my life would have changed drastically. I would have been treated and medicated much earlier instead of just 2 years ago....good luck sister❤
Read up on histamine increase with peri and assoc anxiety. Dao enzyme. 👍
The menopause stole my mask but a therapist said I probably had early onset cognitive impairment. Now I understand the brain fog, the 'depression' and all the other struggles are real and are actually ADHD symptoms made worse by lack of oestrogen and, although frustrating, feeling validated is wonderful. Being disparaged and ignored by the very health service which is supposed to help you is not. More education is needed (and more / any studies).
I am in the process and f getting my official diagnosis. I am post menopausal at 53 and I am lost. Hopefully my dx comes help I try to do my own research but I need more.
Amazing! I've been on the exact same journey, only realising after menopause and divorce, losing 8 jobs in 3 years, then having a total mental breakdown during lockdown, that I too have ADHD. I knew a lot about my son's ASD, but missed my own signs. The signs had been there lifelong in the form of judgement from others, leaving me feeling inadequate and broken. It's taken 3 years to piece myself together again. I hope your talk helps others know their truth, and find peace sooner.
Thanks for this talk. I just sold my successful business in Chile and now haven't got an income, haven't got a partner or children, or pension!!... some crazy decision making made it impossible for me cope with my business. Now I'm worried about what I am going to do.
Yes, i quit my job during peri menopause. Diagnosed with depression, anxiety and bi polar 2. It was all incorrect. It was thyroid and add. I'm so glad to hear this as I was worried about dementia
You just put some pieces in place for me. I know I'm perimenopausal, and I know I have ADHD, but I didn't realize that perimenopause can exacerbate symptoms of ADHD! You're right, there's a SERIOUS lack of education about it. Not even my gynecologist talked to me about all the possible symptoms. So I've been bugging my psych NP, telling her the Adderall isn't really helping anymore, and not once did she mention perimenopause... I'll be talking to them soon!
I feel pretty strongly that I have ADD, although I’ve never been diagnosed. My sense of failure & inadequacy has increased exponentially since menopause. I know I’m just another voice in this choir singing your praises, but THANK YOU! I feel seen.
I left work two years ago at 50 with severe major depression and feel thankful I have a roof over my head today as I cannot cope well with things that were easy, even fun previously. I still struggle daily. My brain which used to be able to tackle the most convoluted complex problems is like a mosh pit. Everything you presented represents this cluster I find myself in. There were other contributing factors to me hitting a wall, things going on in my life that can take a person down, so I didn't know what I was experiencing was peri-menopause and the ADHD fits to a T today. How? the doctors, therapists, psychologist, psychiatrist, mother, no-one has said menopause let alone ADHD but that is what I have been feeling like I have, WTF. I feel like I have been living in a twiglight zone. So grateful for this video!!!
You are not alone. And I LOL'd at your "mosh pit" analogy! 😂
I appreciate your analogy too - I’m the same age as you and grew up in the same era - lol - brilliant analogy. Late diagnosed at 48. I’m so angered by the LACK of research and support for women with ADHD - especially older women. There is a massive population of undiagnosed, underserved and misunderstood women. I say put the research money there so these wise women can have a good quality life because older women should not be overlooked and forgotten about - they deserve to be respected and deserve to have a good quality life - it’s never too late. Re perimenopausal symptoms - aside from the mosh pit brain, I’m even looking into bioidentical hormonal cream (snake oil?)- I just want to ease my body into menopause. Why is it so f’in difficult for women to get proper health care in the US ? Why is the healthcare community so shite-versed in women’s health - especially in this topic? (Not enough money?) I resent that I have to resort to the Internet/UA-cams for my knowledge on this topic… hence my attempt to investigate a probable snake oil product. Where is the respect here? Phuck American healthcare and our work cultures. Okay, I’ll get down from my soap box and join the mosh pit now.
"Brain like mosh pit." Nailed it, sister. Diagnosed at 55, after spending 3-4 yrs wondering why my memory had turned to Swiss cheese and my ability to start any complex task had evaporated. Learning to be a MAD middle -aged lady ain't easy!
My beautiful wife is in the beginning of menopause. What has made her so difficult to help is complicated by adhd and a brain injury which makes her aggressive and confused. We are getting through it but it isn't easy
I’m sorry for your struggle and hope you can get the support while you navigate this with your wife.
Thank you for being a supportive partner.
You just described my life. I was diagnosed with adhd after my life started to fall apart at 50. I was also diagnosed with ASD, dyslexia, hypermobility dyspraxia and anxiety. I was in the middle of a master's degree and my brain suddenly stopped working. I could no longer think, read, complete sentences, control my impulses or hyperfixation and my memory was non existent. It took nearly 3 years to complete my part time master's, but with the support of my husband and daughter I graduate in 2 weeks time with distinction. There is absolutely no way that I could hold down a full time job, as unfortunately neurodiversity effects the same area of the brain, so when one aspect goes haywire, they all do. I'm hypersensitive to sensory stimuli, especially noise, light, heat, and smell, causing me to have frequent migraines. I try to manage my spoons, but unless I become a hermit there seems to be no way forward. In addition, my drop in estrogen affected my hypermobility, causing the connective tissue in my pelvic area to complete prolapse. Joy. I only knew about hot flushes and mood settings. Nothing prepares you for this. If anyone out there would like to collaborate in research I would be up for it as research is one of my special interests, and I'm a voracious and hyperfixated gleaner of information once my brain has decided it wants to do it. But be warned: I will not be able to stick to a dead line, and my structure and organisation will be non existent. But, my meandering neurodiverse brain will eventually creatively find patterns, connections and novelty and produce original and extremely well researched work. ❤
Wow, you’ve almost described me here. I’d created a bunch of coping mechanisms, and was high functioning and high masking. I found out about adhd in women while researching why I can’t cope with verbal instructions or training, and it had been getting worse. A couple of years after that I had complete burnout from trying to maintain my mask and resilience
I'm just coming up on 48 and at the same time hit with the fact I've always lived with ADD and masked it my entire life. My partner helped me cover up, but he passed away and I'm the only one who is supporting the family. Things have started getting very difficult. Both my kids are showing sign of ADHD and that is what has made me wake up. I appreciate this talk. The awareness is important.
It's hard to keep that mask on when the support systems aren't there. I hope you can access some good help. ❤
55 year old, diagnosed ADHD at age 35 and it took this talk for me to realize the overlap. Facepalm and tears here. Thank you for this news flash
This is eye opening. That said, I feel that there needs to be a follow-up video to explain what can happen now that we are equipped with this information. For example: what jobs are we best suited for now? does the battle between our hormones continue for the rest of our lives? what can balance look like? how do we get our doctors to understand what we're experiencing?
Absolutely agree
I agree. What can I do to make myself function much better? Like she said, my tools that have always worked don't anymore. Is there a pill to take to regulate the hormones and adhd, less adhd Ned's or more, behavior changes, etc. I'd like to know also, now that we understand the problem, what can be done to solve it.
Thank you for this video! It is so comforting to know there are so many women that are going through the same struggles as I have been because I am 57 years old and I have been going through menopause since I was about 40 but the last 5 years have been awful. I went from the happy grandma that wanted all the grandkids and kids here for parties and holidays to not wanting anyone here and staying in the bed not wanting to get out and feeling mad and bad stressed! Just wanting to scream at someone for every little thing and cursing when I never used to. I’ve changed into a completely different person. I did start some low dose antidepressants for about 1year and stopped and that is better but I still struggle with my thoughts and cleaning and organizing but I do see some improvement. I wondered why my menopause was so bad because my moms wasn’t but I was also diagnosed with ADHD years ago.
Im a medical professional, aged 60. This is an eye opening presentation that gives me so much hope for the adhd and memory problems I experience. I cannot retire yet, its not possible, but I feel so much less crazy after hearing this information.
Thank you. TED put a disclaimer on my talk because I'm not a medical professional. I don't believe I was giving any kind of medical advice, rather my own experience. It seems like my experience is true for many women and I very much appreciate you taking time to leave a comment.
Not enough attention and supports for late diagnosed women on the spectrum or with ADHD. Healthcare has neglected women’s health for so many generations. It’s crucial for our physical, mental, and emotional health that we demand better care. We deserve better care. Appreciate your story and your vulnerability. I’m trying to prep and navigate this transition - we need more support and mentoring as we navigate this change.
This is me now. I'm exactly in this place, certain I'm undiagnosed adhd and definitely menopausal and all the ways I've coped and scraped by in life have failed and im lost at sea, the way I've been feeling for the last 3 years i would not care if I fell asleep didn't wake up again. I have absolutely no desire to prompt that outcome and would never cause myself harm but simply the continuation of my life as it is right now is not worth anything for myself. I have 2 amazing and beautiful children who are my world and they are 100% worth anything . I have to keep fighting for their sake and help them with their struggles so they will have a better life. They are each half my heart outside my body and i will always be there for them. I just wish my life wasn't so hard
oh honey, i feel you so much. hang in there, you are worth it, we are worth it. much love
Oh my word, my thoughts EXACTLY ...right down to having 2 children. I fantasized about going to bed and not waking up....soooo tired. Been taking medication for 2 months now and it has changed my life. It is not EASY, but for the first time my brain is sometimes at peace.....for the FIRST time in 50 years. It's sad to think of the wasted time.
I could have written this exact comment. Thank you.
Know that you are not alone and that you are worthy
Sweet Sister - your comment is my experience as well. If it were not for my 2 extraordinary children, I wouldn’t care if I fell asleep and didn’t awaken either. Bev’s talk here, gives me hope with the truth that I am not alone. Sending love and prayers to you and ALL my MAD sisters. Love, love, LOVE! ❤
“We’re all mad here.” Thank you, Bev. You are a true hero! ❤
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You hit a cord with the comment about early-onset dementia. I honestly think I’m losing my mind! 55, menopausal, undiagnosed. I appreciate your viewpoint!
I am a teacher who discovered I had this brain organization that is called ADHD while training to be a school teacher in my 40’s. I am now 62 and I had to leave teaching during the pandemic because I simply could not keep up with all of my responsibilities. I never knew that there was a connection between hormones and ADHD.
me too. I handled it well for so long, by working round the clock, I had no kids or husband so "had the time", but the few months before Covid I had a near breakdown because I completely burnt out. Too much physical pain and stress and overwhelmed. It took a while to realize that what happened was my meds that got me through so many years and allowing me to function, just weren't working anymore. :( And then of course there was a shortage. I had taken short term disability, but when Covid hit, I had just gotten to the 20 year mark and figured I needed to retire early. It was a hard decision but I just couldn't continue anymore. Then I ended up going on disability because during that time I was "off" (i.e. in intensive therapy) I found out I also had high functioning Autism! But I'm still struggling and supposedly still "in menopause" after 10 years! It feels like a no win situation :(
I’m ADHD and almost 60 yrs old. I really believed it would go away before now 😢
I’ve been told a lot of derogatory things about how I am. To the point I feel like a pos all the time. People aren’t nice at times 😢
OMG, preach!
I suffered a mental breakdown last year at the age of 50. All of a sudden I just could no longer function. It was as if everything I've ever been able to do in work and in life just ended. I spent 2 days in my home office just staring at my email inbox and could not mentally process ANYTHING. I finally had to take short term disability and get counseling which did help but honestly, your talk sounds so much exactly like what I am going thru. I'm currently off work now again and just don't think I can go back full time. I've been in healthcare for 30 years and the way things are now, both personally and professionally, tell me I have to create more space away from work. Lump me into those women not working due to menopausal impacts. THANKS AND BLESS YOU!
I'm so sorry to hear that. HRT can really help and is very safe.
@@BevThorogood I agree. It does not solve every problem, not by a long shot, but it helps so much! I am still furious about that faulty and subsequently hideously misreported WHI study which has essentially panned out to be the biggest stinking pile of BS, yet so many still believe HRT is "dangerous". SMH. So glad I'm in the EU where it is no longer demonized (it is still, by some, but enough docs are clued in that treatment is easy to find, and it's covered by insurance, too)
I can relate to you and your experience. I had a hysterectomy at 48, fully hormonal and went cuckoo for awhile afterwards. I didn't get HRT. I ended up in a psych unit, wrongly diagnosed and overmedicated for a couple years until I nearly died from them. I quit the meds, went back to my prior meds but haven't been the same since. I've always known it's my ADHD and menopause or those horrible meds made it much worse. I've ended up on SSDI, I was a critical care nurse for 22 years before. I don't want to continue functioning this way but I don't know what to do about it. My life has been dysfunctional since menopause (hysterectomy) and I agree with her and can relate to you.
I am 48 and have been struggling my entire life to find the right help for my issues. I now think I have been misdiagnosed my whole life! And I’ve been struggling recently with peri menopausal symptoms so I really needed to hear this!! 😢 -exhausted in IL ❤
Thank you!!❤ I am about to send this video to my employer, doctor, counsellor...because it describes exactly what I am experiencing in my life right now. I am in menopause and on 50% sick leave from my job (which I love). I initially blamed stress as the number one cause of my problems (such as brain fog, fatigue headaches migrains and more). Now I see your video and it confirmed all my growing suspicions that the stress is only a symptom of my hormones going bananas again and this time in new, not so exciting ways! My husband sometimes jokingly say: You can't blame the hormones! Because early in our relationship, before me and two of our children were diagnosed with ADHD and Aspberger and we learned all we could about the hormones role in regulating all of our emotions, actions and reactions, he didn't believe hormones could have that much importance in our daily life. But now after 20 years he has accepted the fact that almost all of our daily struggles are actually due to hormones in one way or the other. This is just something the whole world should realize and the fact that you did the research and put them into words (WITHOUT seeming completely MAD, which is what I feel like when I try to explain to people around me that have no experience of this) in order to educate society is super impressive, important and SO helpful! ❤
Hi Elisabeth, I don't think many people realise how impactful our hormone balance is on ALL aspects of our physical and mental wellbeing. I'm happy to hear you 'won' your husband round and very good luck getting everyone else to listen and understand. Thank you so much for you comment.
53 diagnosed today. Exactly the same. I was losing my mind before my hysterectomy and after I collapsed mentally
Since my diagnosis at 43, I have been a sponge when it comes to ADHD research. I have read at least 30 books and spent THOUSANDS of hours researching online. Yours is one of the most informative talks I've heard, and I wish every woman with ADHD could hear it. Thank you for your honesty and your bravery!
Thank you so much. There's lots written but so little actual clinical research that I could find. It's a fascinating rabbit hole to fall down though 😊
I suffered greatly through perimenopause with ADHD
@@pamelamcglothlen1297 In what way did it show up for you?
I agree. Wheels are falling off the bus.
I remember abdicating lots of stuff to the ex-husband. And it allowed me to work corporate......until the divorce and peri. Those Winky wheels LOL
I'm 56 and have not been formally diagnosed with ADHD, but my brain going offline during the pandemic was the most scary experience. I feel like I lost my ability to mask my symptoms and have been actively trying to figure out what's been going on with my brain, while gradually realizing I have been masking ADHD my whole life. I haven't been considering the impact of hormones on why things got so bad so fast. So thank you for that. The journey continues.
I cried while listening to your talk. I'm 53 and I'm soooooo MAD! And you made me so proud to be, sister! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻❤❤❤❤❤❤
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This really resonated with me, I’m 55, diagnosed with combined ADHD last year. Menopause was a big factor in the escalation of my ADHD traits and left me unable to cope with everyday life. Thankfully I am now medicated and life is a lot easier though by no means easy. I know quite a lot of women who have gone through/are going through a similar process since peri menopause. It’s crazy that there is no research done, it has blown my mind that ADHD wasn’t recognised in women until so late. This has to change!
What kind of Dr did you see to finally be heard and get proper meds? My OBGYN suggested Wellbutrin but I am hesitant as this feels like an umbrella medication. Thoughts?
@jencollier8306 wellbrutin is just a anti depressant. U need something for adhd
Thank you for this talk, Bev Thorogood. I am a woman who was diagnosed with ADHD when I was 67. In my case, my condition was recognized my a psychology professional. I had no suspicion I had ADHD. My only understanding was that I had a stress and anxiety problem. Once I learned the truth, so many things fell into place. I, too, had to quit a college teaching career several years after menopause started. I could no longer cope with large classrooms and lectures. The career failure is the worst part, especially when you have no idea why it is happening. Ms. Thorogood is right: there is as yet virtually no research of this problem of menopausal effects on ADHD women, but with so many more professional women depending on their careers, such research will quickly become necessary.
I'm not even kidding when I say this. This video may well have saved my life . Our timelines could not be more in line but for a few differences. Thankyou Thankyou so much! ❤😭
Wow that’s amazing. I had no idea my talk would connect with so many women xx
I was diagnosed with ADHD 2 weeks ago. I’m 55 years old.
I'm 53, and was finally diagnosed at 51. I definitely present atypically, so this really resonated for me. The stereotypes have to change, especially given the lack of proper diagnoses for women. I was diagnosed bipolar and BPD and put on over a dozen meds that had horrible side effects. I'm medicated properly now, but menopause is still an additional challenge on top of this new normal of adapting to my diagnosis. If you're struggling, keep going and keep fighting to be taken seriously. ❤
Beverly, I can't thank you enough 😢I'm in post menopause and I feel as if I've completely lost control of myself. Thank you for explaining this to me xxxx ❤❤❤❤
I could be a poster child for your talk! 59, retired in 2022, 32 years military, but suddenly exhausted, couldn’t focus, anxiety through the roof etc etc. After seeing a few doctors, had many “tests” that resulted in no diagnosis I finally thought well I must be getting old. This is how it is now. The military is a young persons game I guess so I moved on. Got lots of rest, yoga, walking instead of intensive pt. I think I did everything I could to help myself. But 2 years later I still had the symptoms. So again I go back to a different doctor who referred me to a hormonal specialist. Short of it is that my hormones are completely out of whack, dangerously. My adrenal glands were struggling AND through all that, I was diagnosed with ADHD. At 59! Who would have thought. No typical symptoms at all. Thank you for your talk. I feel normal again. 😊
It never even occurred to me that my ADHD (recent diagnosis) and perimenopause would jointly conspire against me. I needed this talk.
At 60 I’m just piecing together the puzzle pieces of my crazy life with the help of talks like yours! Thank you! My grandchild has been diagnosed with ADHD and autism and my now grown up child and I have struggled through life in exactly the areas you have described. It now all makes sense and the penny has dropped and I no longer beat my self up over my ‘failings’ instead I am starting to be proud of myself for coping and doing my best through life’s challenges and enjoying life without guilt of not doing enough. I am happy to be part of this neurodiverse community of ladies with life experience!
Thank you for raising this issue! Perimenopause is definitely the missing piece of the ADHD-depression triangle!!
As a recently diagnosed menopausal woman with ADHD, I can totally relate. I’m still working, but barely! Thank you for reminding me that I’m not alone!
I'm 38. I was diagnosed with adhd 2 years ago. Looking back, my entire childhood makes so much more sense😂
I am struggling at the moment. My research in to ADHD points to the fact that I have always had it. tics as a child, skin picking, ditzy, 'tactless', people pleaser, grammar school girl, eating disorder, lower than low self esteem, risk taker, underachiever, substance misuse, PND, toxi relationships, emotional disregulation. I am menopausal on HRT but I am floundering as a newly divorced woman who can barely look after herself let alone her own teenage children.
I can relate with you even down to skin picking❤
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I want to say thank you. I'm 57 and in a week im seeing my doctor because my life is falling apart and I know that it's adhd as my kids have it and I have seen it in myself all my life but it has finally got to the point I can't deal with it anymore. I was thinking it's because I can't burn it off the way I could years ago. But this helps me so much thank you. I so glad I can cross this. Now I don't feel so alone.
Same I am 58 and just got diagnosed. An earlier diagnosis might have saved my career I was going through the worst of this and didn’t know what my problem was two fold ADHD and menopause.
I was just diagnosed ADHD at 55. I am so happy that the message is getting out. Thanks
Yes we need to normalise ADHD and talk more about it. Have you thought about how you will manage your ADHD?
This is such a wonderful talk that I wish I would have heard sooner. This is the type of education that women need to hear. I had the exact same experience as you, and feared that I was starting the early stages of dementia. My sister experienced the same. We both sought out medical testing because we were frightened that our bodies and mind were out of our control. I received an ADHD diagnosis at the age of 50 and while it felt good to identify it, I was deeply saddened and angry for all of the opportunities I lost because of something I didn't know I had.
Thank you for sharing this with the world, you are making a huge impact. Keep talking.
Thank you for taking time to comment and share your experience. I get the anger and loss. I'm learning to let go and move forward but it's tough.
A quick fix is HRT, I had to plead and argue my case to receive it, but it held back the aches and pains, the waves of fatigue, the hot flushes, and gave me the energy and focus to complete a physically demanding pre-trades course, whilst working and supporting two teenagers. On average I'd get one day off a fortnight, but I was so productive. I'm building up my resources to undertake more training and diversifying my skillset. I couldn't do it without getting my hormone top- up
Great talk. We need so much more “noise” around this topic . Thank you so much about leading this journey
Thank you 🙏
Thank you Bev. This made me cry. I'm 57 and after a mental health crisis (and recovering from lung cancer) I am now being assessed for ADHD. I feel I have found my user manual but realise this is only the start of the journey. I am about to re-start work and am terrified. Thank you for giving me some hope x
As a peri Meno 46 yr old I had a complete break down and had to take 6mths off work to try to adjust to a new me. The brain fog, fatigue and lack of self worth are really bad. Then I started to read up on ADHD (a counselor recommended my daughter should be referred for diagnosis) My eyes started to open to a world I didn't understand but that totally described ME.
Watching a lass from the NE talk about her own journey just clarified my thoughts. Thank you for sharing your story xx I'm definitely M.A.D. ❤
Thanks for commenting Penny. I think there's far more of us MAD sisters than we realise. 😊
I am diagnosed with ADHD and autism, and i am menopausal. Thank you for bringing awareness to this difficult topic.
Thank you so much! I'm in tears 😭😭😭!
I really identify with a lot of what you have to say, even though I did well in school up to 6th Form, apart from in exam conditions that is 😬.
I had little to no Perimenopause, due to issues with ovarian cysts, that led to the loss of/ surgical removal of my ovaries, one before, and one after, my hysterectomy (in my early to mid 30s 😢). The last surgery, 7 years ago, plunged me immediately into the Menopause, with no real education on what that could mean for me.
Already struggling to function with a combination of physical, and Mental-Emotional health issues, being forced into the Menopause has really caused cracks in the masking that I am increasingly aware of having used for so long.
Thank you for all of the effort and energy you are putting into education, and understanding of Perimenopause/ Menopause, and ADHD in Womenn and girls. Is invaluable!!!!
Sorry if there are tons of typos, this undiagnosed suspected ADHDer has run out of focus and energy to thoroughly check for them 😅. Sending you lots of postive energy and virtual hugs 🧑🏽🫳🏽💫🫴🏽💞🫂💕
I’m very grateful for you taking time to comment even when the mental tank was empty. Hopefully you’re getting the support and treatment you need now. 🙏
Thank you for this. I am barely getting by now with ADD and menopause. Still constantly moving and starting over, with less each time. Now facing a medical issue without health insurance or real friends (watching them all succeed at family and careers was too hard). In DEEP regret over lost opportunities, and embarrassed at the excessive amount of money and effort I've wasted trying to find a place to fit in. I've had more than one therapist tell me that "everyone has trouble focusing", but they didn't have to go to 4 colleges before getting a degree, or leave good jobs for lesser ones because of feelings of incompetence. Because I am alone (no kids or partner) and educated, I would never go on medicaid, but the bills will take the rest of my life to pay off. It is the most confounding situation. And very very lonely.
I'm so sorry to hear you're having such a hard time.
I'm so sorry. I feel your pain as my journey has been similar, especially the deep regrets over opportunities I've let go because I just could not do what was needed to get things done. The effort was exhausting and beyond me. I'm also alone, and recently had a serious health scare. All I can say is that I'm sorry you are in this situation, and I understand.
You are not alone. Your experience EXACTLY parallels mine. To a "T."
Virtual hugs …
Where to start. I've just started researching ADHD as I've related to the few videos I've watched, including this one. Thank you so much for sharing this, I'm about to turn 64 yo, and retire. I'm hoping learning more about this will help answer some questions I've had for years, and maybe it wasn't my shortcomings but an undiagnosed condition, what a concept. Again, thank you so much for sharing your story and knowledge, you've encouraged me and inspired me. xx
I’m so glad my talk helped. Good luck with your quest for answers 💜
I am not diagnosed with ADHD. However, I have recently come to realise it's highly likely that I have always had it. And in my current early on set menopause due to surgery. I related hard to every.single.bit of this. Thank you.
So grateful. MAD we are! I also think research into the link between ADHD/Peri and marriage breakdown would reveal interesting ties. Now look at the rates of women over 55 in economic distress or experiencing homelessness and let’s talk about the social impacts of it all together. Quit or lose your job, breakup, breakdown….
Thank you so much Bev for your heart felt talk! I will join your MAD crew with a badge of honour! ☺️. Everything you spoke about rang true. I first felt the difficulties after having my daughter (which caused hormonal changes) and it has continued into perimenopause. I’ve gone from working 6 days a week, to working part time hours, which has been financially crippling. I am originally from the UK but moved to Oz. I am hoping to work in a remote location, with less people and in nature. It will be a massive change, but I am hoping that it will help me manage my ADHD and peri hormonal symptoms 🙏☺️ Thanks again, Kate ❤️
Welcome to the crew Kate 😊
Lost everything I worked and suffered for because while I knew I had severe ADHD --I had no idea how Perimenopause would disrupt my hormones rendering me almost completely useless. Horrible timing w the pandemic because I thought I was just depressed and lonely. By the time I started to realize something was horribly wrong with me..... I couldn't convince doctors.
I’m so sorry you had such a tough time. 😢
Same here. I am trying now to rebuild my identity. Wish you well on your journey.
Thank You Beautiful Lady. This is what the world really needs, talking about our struggles and finding solutions to make us and this world a better place. God bless You ❤
Thank you 🙏
I came to the conclusion that menopause was wrecking me and causing havoc in my ADHD world. What I didn’t realize is that it may be possible to hack my hormones. This gives me hope. My happy & easy go lucky disposition has become sad and a tad bitter with brain fog and complete organizational chaos to boot. Your speech has given me hope. Thank you.
I definitely went through a MAD phase, if not still going through it. I was unable to focus and my motivation levels hit rock bottom after a hysterectomy at 50. I retired early and simply have done my best to take care of my personal relationships under what seems like a bit of a cloud at times. Learning about the role of Dopamine and other coping strategies has helped a lot. Also, finding out that I'm not alone is a huge revelation.
Sorry to hear that. It definitely helps knowing others understand ❤
I was 37, just about 3 years ago, when I went into full menopause... and my life has been an emotional rollercoaster since then.
Just started craint after your talk. Early menopaused at 43, now 49 with 2 young children 6 and 9. And just realising I probably have had ADHD since childhood. This gave me great confort nowing I maby not as much as à failiure as I beleive myself to be but doing as well as I can despite the situation. Thank you so much ❤
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I left my job in 2008 and never found the confidence to get another. I wholeheartedly support your theory and call for research.
Thank YOU.. I’m in my mid 50’s and in the last few weeks have decided that i have ADHD…ADD in fact. The last 4 years have been… MAD. Thank you for this talk..just fantastic ❤
I'm 37 and in confirmed perimenopause-- I'm scheduled to be seen about ADHD as well. The past few months I feel like i'm losing my mind
I'm crying. This is my story, too! I seriously thought I was going crazy and that it was just a me thing. I will be sharing this with my physician. Thank you for sharing this incredible information. Bless you, dear woman.
Good luck with your physician. I hope they give you good support.
So relateable...this last year i have figured out i have adhd...i too didn't understand my symptoms, i thought i was just chaos, the mad artist i am...but with perimenopause and starting my own business, it has shown up so strongly and I feel like a complete mess. the sleepless nights causing bad daily habbits, feeding into lythargy, its an ongoing cycle and i just want some calm....i did go to the doc last week, to start figuring out something...thanks for getting the word out and if you find someone who wants to study us, i'm keen!! :)
Thanks for making this ted talk, I hope you can help many women to understand what's happening to them during this hormonal transition. I was left out in the cold, totally unsupported, drowning from the consequences of my own bad life choices when I found myself in a very early post menopause. I lost almost everything and have spent the past 14 years rebuilding my life. Now I have balanced my hormones with HRT (all three) I am retraining in horticulture in the hope I'll be able to get paid work at some point. I still have not tried to get an adhd diagnosis, but I am definitely MAD. lol
You sound like a wonderful, resilient human ❤
I am disappointed that this is the only talk I have personally ever seen flagged by TED for content. I appreciate the guidelines, but it just goes to show how much help we need.
This talk was reaffirming from the start.
Research on ADHD in girls, women and peri menopausal women is sorely needed. And the word needs to get out to established physicians as well as medical schools to educate their students on those topics.
A decade ago when I suspected I had ADHD the psychiatrist I saw was sure I did not have it, as I was in a stable marriage, had raised 3 children, etc. I had to explain all the struggle it meant to keep up appearances with coping mechanisms. The fact that it was even more difficult to function due to peri menopause never occurred to me or him!
I feel you speaking directly about me. Diagnosed ADHD at 47 while going through menopause. Lucky I have HRT and a female doctor guiding me. The ADHD is still being dealt with but I am tired, been under massive work stress. I'm moving jobs but am dog tired......thank you for validating my experiences.
I hear you. It's hard ❤
Menopause and unmanaged ADHD did crush me and it would have annihilated me without HRT.
This is me… thank you!!! At 51, it feels so good to be validated. You’re MY hero!
Thanks Bev. I am a MAD woman too and it has badly affected my career in teaching. Just trying to work out where to go from here.
I can soo relate Bev…exact same profession and I’m realizing I just can’t do it anymore, too mentally taxing. You still teaching?
Great talk can relate as a 51 year old whose undiagnosed ADHD got a whole lot worse when peri menopause kicked in ! Realised I had ADHD after my teen daughter ( inattentive type ) was diagnosed last year. 😊
Thank you. I'm hearing more and more women tell me the same thing. We definitely need to be talking more about this.
I absolutely love this video. Thank you so much. All the things you're talking about in this video are me. Never living up to my dad's expectations of who I was supposed to be; nor understanding that there was something different about me. The daydreaming, loving music, cosmetics and fashion. I squeezed myself into a career but none of them were what I wanted to do. I found out at 40 that I had ADHD after my son was born. And the embarrassment of not being able to keep a tidy home; not a room anymore. Thank you so much for helping me to understand now.l😢
I'm glad it helped. I'm finding it so reassuring knowing I'm not alone here x
@@BevThorogood😊 no you're not alone.
My dad was diagnosed with ADHD in his 60's. I am now menopausal and recently diagnosed in my early 50's. I have been learning as much as I can about ADHD. I just want to do better at work and in my relationships. I am grateful to learn more about myself now.
I’m 54….6 months my life completely fell apart or completely turned upside down. What was, was now completely opposite. Shock wore off, heart is ❤️🩹……. I’m not where I was 6months ago….. everything will heal! When you understand what is happening….❤️🩹☀️ to everyone, knowledge, never give up! 🌸
A brilliant talk, Bev! Brian provided the link from his channel. Yes, MAD indeed! When I went through it, I was just told to get on with it. This was some 25 years ago. Oestrogen tablets were the way to go, then it appeared they caused cancer, so after a year I stopped them and went on to herbal tablets, which helped considerably. Luckily, it was over after about 2 years, and boy, do you feel free! No more tampons etc! I too left my job, then returned to a different one. The hot flushes were the worst, especially when you’re sitting at a meeting trying to look intelligent!!! Greetings from the Land of Oz🇦🇺
Could you share which herbal treatments?
@@northernfox6420 I’m in Australia. They’re different here. Ask a pharmacist and see what they have, or a herbalist.The ones I took, I can’t remember the name, but I don’t think they’re made anymore.
Glad I got the tip about your TED talk from your brother. I was unaware and now have useful information to help and support the women in my family. Thank you!
I was first diagnosed by an Ed Psych in 2006 when the NHS refused to handle adults because ADHD didn’t exist in Adults at that time despite their lack of help meaning I got kicked off my degree course and had to start again with a new, different degree. Ironically I wasn’t failing the degree, I was sitting at between a first and 2:1 but my head of department refused to let me into practice without me being properly diagnosed and medicated. He had decided ADHD was a ‘personality disorder’ and I would be ‘a danger’ to the children in practice. He forced me out essentially because of a neurological difference. I had spoken once out of turn. That was it. After that, I coped until perimenopause when recently the wheels have fallen off. Ironically the psychiatrist who formally diagnosed me couldn’t believe I had never been diagnosed before as I present like a little boy. I’m obvious. I was as a child and I am now. I have a hyperactive body and mind. But I am struggling now I’ve hit that hormone drop. I have always used exercise to help me get through but I also have Ehlers-Danlos syndrome (which is often co-occurring with ADHD) and I can’t excerise the same way since early stages of perimenopause. So this is hitting me two fold. Then thirdly, I get serotonin syndrome really easily so I can’t take ADHD meds, so I get a three-fold hit. Do you know how much support I’m getting? Nothing. Zero. There is no support in the U.K. if you can’t take meds. ADHD is slowly killing me emotionally during perimenopause, I can’t function (and I’m only 46 right now!) and I’ve had zero support, and yes, I’ve been to my doctor.
I am so so sorry you're going through this Julliette 💕 It is so difficult to accept less energy and the many strengths you usually have being gone, or at least diminished, alongside such daily difficulty. I am sending you so much Love & Blessings right now and all I can say is keep asking ✨️ in new directions ~ there are many new options every day and more to come ❤ I just hope you find a way through and have many more opportunities to being your True Magic to the world 🎉We need you & your gifts 😊🙏🏻✨️
I’m interested in your comment about having EDS, as well. I do too and, since menopause, my hips and feet hurt to much that sometimes I can barely walk and it’s made exercising almost impossible.
I’m also getting no support.
@therealjetlag yes!! I have been taking provitalize for the last 4 years. It is a natural supplement for menopause and has turmeric in it which has taken the pain away from hips and ankles 100%
That talk was a lightning bolt ⚡️ for my symptoms on Menopause I’m going through now… so I may have ADHD without knowing
I've been dealing with this for 15 years. I'm 58. I felt like Charly Gordon in Flowers for Algernon coming down from his pinnacle of his intelligence back to his 68 IQ. I ran a business, and told my friend that I should fire me cuz I could no longer competantly perform my work. In the last year, I've really unraveled, and am exhausted, anxious and almost paralyzed. I was wondering how I could continue with a quality of life to function. Thank you for this talk. Research is much needed. The problem is defined, now I can work on solutions.
Im ADHD and Im probably in Perimenopause. The lack of energy and focus I feel makes me never get out of the bed but then the anxiety sets in cause I am doing nothing. So I'm in a constant state of being a zombie. Starting a lot of things and never really accomplishing anything.
Amazing talk, thank you very much, I didn't realise the different ways ADHD showed in women. I started perimenopause at 39, gave up 3 jobs because of it, ended up on increased anti depressants & wanted to die because I couldn't handle or understand the changes. Thank you for explaining this clearly & highlighting the need of more research to help our kids ❤
I was diagnosed during my menopause period. I lost my job, my marriage. I then went on a huge spending spree. My house is now a huge mess and I have an enormous amount of unpaid pills and just piles of unnecessary stuff at home. I have been misdiagnosed with anxiety for almost two decades. Now the mess at home has completely crippled me and left me lying in bed. It’s just too much to handle.
Stephanie I'm so sorry to hear this. I really hope you can find some help and get things back on track. Sending you much love ❤️
Pay a sorter to come and help ❤
My God how is this video not viral?? Im almost 59 and she just laid out my entire life verbatim ❤ I was diagnosed a year ago.
Thank you! That would be a nice result if I went viral 😅. I’m glad it resonated for you and thank you for your comment 🙏