ADHD in menopausal women | Bev Thorogood | TEDxBrayfordPool
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- Опубліковано 16 лис 2022
- NOTE FROM TED: Please do not look to this talk as a substitute for medical advice. This talk only represents the speaker's personal views and understanding of hormones and mental health, which some viewers may find alienating. We've flagged this talk because it falls outside the content guidelines TED gives TEDx organizers. TEDx events are independently organized by volunteers. The guidelines we give TEDx organizers are described in more detail here: storage.ted.com/tedx/manuals/t...
Menopause and ADHD appear to collide for many women, creating confusing cognitive challenges with both shrouded in misunderstanding, misdiagnosis and a sea of misfiring hormones. Is it time to rethink the perception of ADHD as a naughty boy’s disorder and start looking more deeply at the impact of falling oestrogen levels on dopamine regulation in perimenopausal women.
After a 32 year career with the Ministry of Defence, Bev Thorogood found herself unable to cope with the demands of her full-time job as brain fog, anxiety and low self-confidence left her physically and emotionally burnt out. Making the decision to resign at the age of 52, she has gone on to build a successful business partnering with organisations including Channel 4, The Royal Air Force, Southampton University and The London Clinic among many others, to raise awareness of the impact of menopause on working women. Currently coming to terms with the realisation that at the age of 56 she almost certainly has undiagnosed ADHD, she’s found herself falling down a brand new and rather terrifying rabbit hole where menopause and neurodiversity have crossed paths creating a whole new world of questions and a distinct lack of answers. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx
Your talk brought me to tears. I have recently come to believe that I am ADHD. I am a 61 year old female. No one has ever considered me being ADHD until my grown children told me they think I am. My life makes a lot more sense now. Add that to my confused hormones and retiring during a pandemic and some days are very hard! I SO appreciate your talk!
It's such a lot to take in isn't it. But everything starts to make so much more sense. Be kind to yourself ❤
I am so grateful to your TED talk addressing these important issues in women ADD / perimenopause and menopause ..they are really issues!!! We are starting to address the disparity between mens health and women’s health research which directly effects womens lives, marriages, families and careers ! It is a huge issue for those effected! Please join the Femtech revolution to make a difference in humanity!
Ditto
Same here. Take care!
Same here, I only realised I might have ADHD after researching about it for my eldest as she has all the traits. So many moments of 'oh! I do that too' or 'I was like that as a kid'. I'm perimenopausal too at the age of 48 and my Dr just recommends HRT 🙄 no thank you! My Dr refused to even test my hormone levels after I turned 40 😢 so I did a private test instead.
Had to pause the video and take a moment for a good cry for the sad little girl and overwhelmed young woman who believed her undiagnosed ADHD symptoms were her own moral shortcomings, and for the perimenopausal woman I am today, so frustrated with never feeling “well” and all the many symptoms described here. I had been so burnt out and considering leaving my career of 20+ years, when my daughter suggested therapy and my therapist casually mentioned “ADHD women like you.” As I read about the symptoms I felt so heard and seen, just like watching this video today. Thank you so much for sharing your experience! ❤ I can now say that I’m quite MAD 😂 and no longer alone!
Thank you for sharing Hannah. I've definitely cried many tears for the lost little girl who couldn't figure out why she struggled with some of the basics. I'm so happy there's a MAD tribe growing now so we don't feel so alone.
@@Thorogoodlife aww! Thank you for the response! Your story resonated with me so much! Tearing up even now! ❤️
@@hannahpricekarlsson ❤️❤️
I feel ya
You are definitely not alone. My eyes welled up with big tears as well. I received an ADHD diagnosis at 50 and although it was somewhat of a relief to be able to put a name on it, I was so angry and sad for the little girl who never raised her hand in school because she was afraid she would be wrong; for the young woman who worked twice as hard as her colleagues because she felt she had to produce twice as much work so she would be worthy of her position and the mid-life woman who felt like she was past her prime and of no value professionally or personally. I feel badly for all the women out there who are still struggling and have no received a life-line like this. I'm a member of the MAD sisterhood too.
Me:
-Adhd &CPTSD
-Peri
-Single mum of 2 x adhd boys
-full time new grad OT working in a locked MH ward
-Grief over mum with Alzheimer’s living in aged care
Far out, limping along today.
To all my sisters- I got you.
You my dear need so much hugs 🫂💜
We got you too. You dont have to carry all this.
Sometimes it feels relief to know not alone.
The menopause stole my mask but a therapist said I probably had early onset cognitive impairment. Now I understand the brain fog, the 'depression' and all the other struggles are real and are actually ADHD symptoms made worse by lack of oestrogen and, although frustrating, feeling validated is wonderful. Being disparaged and ignored by the very health service which is supposed to help you is not. More education is needed (and more / any studies).
I am in the process and f getting my official diagnosis. I am post menopausal at 53 and I am lost. Hopefully my dx comes help I try to do my own research but I need more.
OmG I am feeling like I have mild dementia and it’s terrifying I CANT BELIEVE YOU ADDRESSED THAT!! Fantastic!! Thank you so so much ❤
It's scary but it gets better 😊
I am a women with ADHD going through menopause. And it's torture. I honestly don't know if I can hold onto my job and also I have to pray daily that I can make it through I'm quite resilient but this is the worst thing I've ever dealt with. I'm also diagnosed recently, my whole life has been devastated by ADHD and I had no idea. Thank you for your efforts.
I'm so sorry you're having such a hard time. Please do consider getting some help, HRT is incredibly effective and safe 🤗
Please know you're not alone!
@@Thorogoodlife how do you get the HRT dose right? Also Ladies the harm is done by undiagnosed and untreated ADHD, not the ADHD itself and all those god awful womanly demands we live under- running homes, jobs the rest… kids, elderly relatives, more housework. I explained recently to my teenager- house work aka “ I filled the dishwasher yesterday” is like teeth brushing and bottom wiping, an every time activity- I’m confident you ADHD women will appreciate my humour, confidence- now that’s not a regular. Many only too keen to put us down. My 2 girls have also ADHD, my diagnosis 52. I feel so sad for them for all the struggles, I would never entertain such feelings for myself, I don’t let them know this, but I do tell them people have no clue how hard they try, how hard they work but that I do, so let home be a sanctuary ❤ and fill the dishwasher!!
This voice space is so helpful 🙏
@@melliecrann-gaoth4789 love this ❤️🙏
@@melliecrann-gaoth4789 Trial and error unfortunately. Blood tests are really inaccurate. Different women respond differently to the various types of HRT and dosage is usually determined by clinical judgement based on symptoms getting better or not.
Not enough attention and supports for late diagnosed women on the spectrum or with ADHD. Healthcare has neglected women’s health for so many generations. It’s crucial for our physical, mental, and emotional health that we demand better care. We deserve better care. Appreciate your story and your vulnerability. I’m trying to prep and navigate this transition - we need more support and mentoring as we navigate this change.
Im a medical professional, aged 60. This is an eye opening presentation that gives me so much hope for the adhd and memory problems I experience. I cannot retire yet, its not possible, but I feel so much less crazy after hearing this information.
Thank you. TED put a disclaimer on my talk because I'm not a medical professional. I don't believe I was giving any kind of medical advice, rather my own experience. It seems like my experience is true for many women and I very much appreciate you taking time to leave a comment.
I went through this! I think during my menopause, the increase in anxiety and emotional disregulation was the trigger for me learning that I've always struggled with these things. In this last year only have I discovered that all my 'problems' are symptoms of ADHD and C_PTSD. I'm 52! I was so deep in my masking that I was believing my own lies. Deep denial I was in. The first time I realised that my 'freak outs' were dis-regulation, and were triggered etc. well It was a bloomin' revelation! I could barely believe that I had been so blind to myself and my own reactions. Thank you for high lighting this subject.
me as well! At 60 I've lived my entire life basically a victim of my own brain chemicals yet blaming my own shortcomings and laziness! I'm not so bad after all 😅. If only AdHD and CPTSD were recognized back in the 70s..my life would have changed drastically. I would have been treated and medicated much earlier instead of just 2 years ago....good luck sister❤
This is eye opening. That said, I feel that there needs to be a follow-up video to explain what can happen now that we are equipped with this information. For example: what jobs are we best suited for now? does the battle between our hormones continue for the rest of our lives? what can balance look like? how do we get our doctors to understand what we're experiencing?
I am struggling at the moment. My research in to ADHD points to the fact that I have always had it. tics as a child, skin picking, ditzy, 'tactless', people pleaser, grammar school girl, eating disorder, lower than low self esteem, risk taker, underachiever, substance misuse, PND, toxi relationships, emotional disregulation. I am menopausal on HRT but I am floundering as a newly divorced woman who can barely look after herself let alone her own teenage children.
My beautiful wife is in the beginning of menopause. What has made her so difficult to help is complicated by adhd and a brain injury which makes her aggressive and confused. We are getting through it but it isn't easy
I’m sorry for your struggle and hope you can get the support while you navigate this with your wife.
You just described my life. I was diagnosed with adhd after my life started to fall apart at 50. I was also diagnosed with ASD, dyslexia, hypermobility dyspraxia and anxiety. I was in the middle of a master's degree and my brain suddenly stopped working. I could no longer think, read, complete sentences, control my impulses or hyperfixation and my memory was non existent. It took nearly 3 years to complete my part time master's, but with the support of my husband and daughter I graduate in 2 weeks time with distinction. There is absolutely no way that I could hold down a full time job, as unfortunately neurodiversity effects the same area of the brain, so when one aspect goes haywire, they all do. I'm hypersensitive to sensory stimuli, especially noise, light, heat, and smell, causing me to have frequent migraines. I try to manage my spoons, but unless I become a hermit there seems to be no way forward. In addition, my drop in estrogen affected my hypermobility, causing the connective tissue in my pelvic area to complete prolapse. Joy. I only knew about hot flushes and mood settings. Nothing prepares you for this. If anyone out there would like to collaborate in research I would be up for it as research is one of my special interests, and I'm a voracious and hyperfixated gleaner of information once my brain has decided it wants to do it. But be warned: I will not be able to stick to a dead line, and my structure and organisation will be non existent. But, my meandering neurodiverse brain will eventually creatively find patterns, connections and novelty and produce original and extremely well researched work. ❤
I left work two years ago at 50 with severe major depression and feel thankful I have a roof over my head today as I cannot cope well with things that were easy, even fun previously. I still struggle daily. My brain which used to be able to tackle the most convoluted complex problems is like a mosh pit. Everything you presented represents this cluster I find myself in. There were other contributing factors to me hitting a wall, things going on in my life that can take a person down, so I didn't know what I was experiencing was peri-menopause and the ADHD fits to a T today. How? the doctors, therapists, psychologist, psychiatrist, mother, no-one has said menopause let alone ADHD but that is what I have been feeling like I have, WTF. I feel like I have been living in a twiglight zone. So grateful for this video!!!
You are not alone. And I LOL'd at your "mosh pit" analogy! 😂
I appreciate your analogy too - I’m the same age as you and grew up in the same era - lol - brilliant analogy. Late diagnosed at 48. I’m so angered by the LACK of research and support for women with ADHD - especially older women. There is a massive population of undiagnosed, underserved and misunderstood women. I say put the research money there so these wise women can have a good quality life because older women should not be overlooked and forgotten about - they deserve to be respected and deserve to have a good quality life - it’s never too late. Re perimenopausal symptoms - aside from the mosh pit brain, I’m even looking into bioidentical hormonal cream (snake oil?)- I just want to ease my body into menopause. Why is it so f’in difficult for women to get proper health care in the US ? Why is the healthcare community so shite-versed in women’s health - especially in this topic? (Not enough money?) I resent that I have to resort to the Internet/UA-cams for my knowledge on this topic… hence my attempt to investigate a probable snake oil product. Where is the respect here? Phuck American healthcare and our work cultures. Okay, I’ll get down from my soap box and join the mosh pit now.
"Brain like mosh pit." Nailed it, sister. Diagnosed at 55, after spending 3-4 yrs wondering why my memory had turned to Swiss cheese and my ability to start any complex task had evaporated. Learning to be a MAD middle -aged lady ain't easy!
I was first diagnosed by an Ed Psych in 2006 when the NHS refused to handle adults because ADHD didn’t exist in Adults at that time despite their lack of help meaning I got kicked off my degree course and had to start again with a new, different degree. Ironically I wasn’t failing the degree, I was sitting at between a first and 2:1 but my head of department refused to let me into practice without me being properly diagnosed and medicated. He had decided ADHD was a ‘personality disorder’ and I would be ‘a danger’ to the children in practice. He forced me out essentially because of a neurological difference. I had spoken once out of turn. That was it. After that, I coped until perimenopause when recently the wheels have fallen off. Ironically the psychiatrist who formally diagnosed me couldn’t believe I had never been diagnosed before as I present like a little boy. I’m obvious. I was as a child and I am now. I have a hyperactive body and mind. But I am struggling now I’ve hit that hormone drop. I have always used exercise to help me get through but I also have Ehlers-Danlos syndrome (which is often co-occurring with ADHD) and I can’t excerise the same way since early stages of perimenopause. So this is hitting me two fold. Then thirdly, I get serotonin syndrome really easily so I can’t take ADHD meds, so I get a three-fold hit. Do you know how much support I’m getting? Nothing. Zero. There is no support in the U.K. if you can’t take meds. ADHD is slowly killing me emotionally during perimenopause, I can’t function (and I’m only 46 right now!) and I’ve had zero support, and yes, I’ve been to my doctor.
I am disappointed that this is the only talk I have personally ever seen flagged by TED for content. I appreciate the guidelines, but it just goes to show how much help we need.
This talk was reaffirming from the start.
I am 48 and have been struggling my entire life to find the right help for my issues. I now think I have been misdiagnosed my whole life! And I’ve been struggling recently with peri menopausal symptoms so I really needed to hear this!! 😢 -exhausted in IL ❤
Thank you for this talk, Bev Thorogood. I am a woman who was diagnosed with ADHD when I was 67. In my case, my condition was recognized my a psychology professional. I had no suspicion I had ADHD. My only understanding was that I had a stress and anxiety problem. Once I learned the truth, so many things fell into place. I, too, had to quit a college teaching career several years after menopause started. I could no longer cope with large classrooms and lectures. The career failure is the worst part, especially when you have no idea why it is happening. Ms. Thorogood is right: there is as yet virtually no research of this problem of menopausal effects on ADHD women, but with so many more professional women depending on their careers, such research will quickly become necessary.
Since my diagnosis at 43, I have been a sponge when it comes to ADHD research. I have read at least 30 books and spent THOUSANDS of hours researching online. Yours is one of the most informative talks I've heard, and I wish every woman with ADHD could hear it. Thank you for your honesty and your bravery!
Thank you so much. There's lots written but so little actual clinical research that I could find. It's a fascinating rabbit hole to fall down though 😊
I suffered greatly through perimenopause with ADHD
@@pamelamcglothlen1297 In what way did it show up for you?
I agree. Wheels are falling off the bus.
I remember abdicating lots of stuff to the ex-husband. And it allowed me to work corporate......until the divorce and peri. Those Winky wheels LOL
This is me now. I'm exactly in this place, certain I'm undiagnosed adhd and definitely menopausal and all the ways I've coped and scraped by in life have failed and im lost at sea, the way I've been feeling for the last 3 years i would not care if I fell asleep didn't wake up again. I have absolutely no desire to prompt that outcome and would never cause myself harm but simply the continuation of my life as it is right now is not worth anything for myself. I have 2 amazing and beautiful children who are my world and they are 100% worth anything . I have to keep fighting for their sake and help them with their struggles so they will have a better life. They are each half my heart outside my body and i will always be there for them. I just wish my life wasn't so hard
oh honey, i feel you so much. hang in there, you are worth it, we are worth it. much love
Oh my word, my thoughts EXACTLY ...right down to having 2 children. I fantasized about going to bed and not waking up....soooo tired. Been taking medication for 2 months now and it has changed my life. It is not EASY, but for the first time my brain is sometimes at peace.....for the FIRST time in 50 years. It's sad to think of the wasted time.
I could have written this exact comment. Thank you.
Know that you are not alone and that you are worthy
Sweet Sister - your comment is my experience as well. If it were not for my 2 extraordinary children, I wouldn’t care if I fell asleep and didn’t awaken either. Bev’s talk here, gives me hope with the truth that I am not alone. Sending love and prayers to you and ALL my MAD sisters. Love, love, LOVE! ❤
Thank you!!❤ I am about to send this video to my employer, doctor, counsellor...because it describes exactly what I am experiencing in my life right now. I am in menopause and on 50% sick leave from my job (which I love). I initially blamed stress as the number one cause of my problems (such as brain fog, fatigue headaches migrains and more). Now I see your video and it confirmed all my growing suspicions that the stress is only a symptom of my hormones going bananas again and this time in new, not so exciting ways! My husband sometimes jokingly say: You can't blame the hormones! Because early in our relationship, before me and two of our children were diagnosed with ADHD and Aspberger and we learned all we could about the hormones role in regulating all of our emotions, actions and reactions, he didn't believe hormones could have that much importance in our daily life. But now after 20 years he has accepted the fact that almost all of our daily struggles are actually due to hormones in one way or the other. This is just something the whole world should realize and the fact that you did the research and put them into words (WITHOUT seeming completely MAD, which is what I feel like when I try to explain to people around me that have no experience of this) in order to educate society is super impressive, important and SO helpful! ❤
Hi Elisabeth, I don't think many people realise how impactful our hormone balance is on ALL aspects of our physical and mental wellbeing. I'm happy to hear you 'won' your husband round and very good luck getting everyone else to listen and understand. Thank you so much for you comment.
This is definitely my experience, as a 49 year-old woman with ADHD, perimenopause, and Multiple Sclerosis. Its really awful 😢
I'm 53, and was finally diagnosed at 51. I definitely present atypically, so this really resonated for me. The stereotypes have to change, especially given the lack of proper diagnoses for women. I was diagnosed bipolar and BPD and put on over a dozen meds that had horrible side effects. I'm medicated properly now, but menopause is still an additional challenge on top of this new normal of adapting to my diagnosis. If you're struggling, keep going and keep fighting to be taken seriously. ❤
I'm 38. I was diagnosed with adhd 2 years ago. Looking back, my entire childhood makes so much more sense😂
53 diagnosed today. Exactly the same. I was losing my mind before my hysterectomy and after I collapsed mentally
I'm just coming up on 48 and at the same time hit with the fact I've always lived with ADD and masked it my entire life. My partner helped me cover up, but he passed away and I'm the only one who is supporting the family. Things have started getting very difficult. Both my kids are showing sign of ADHD and that is what has made me wake up. I appreciate this talk. The awareness is important.
It's hard to keep that mask on when the support systems aren't there. I hope you can access some good help. ❤
Thanks Bev. I am a MAD woman too and it has badly affected my career in teaching. Just trying to work out where to go from here.
You hit a cord with the comment about early-onset dementia. I honestly think I’m losing my mind! 55, menopausal, undiagnosed. I appreciate your viewpoint!
Great talk. We need so much more “noise” around this topic . Thank you so much about leading this journey
Thank you 🙏
OMG, preach!
I suffered a mental breakdown last year at the age of 50. All of a sudden I just could no longer function. It was as if everything I've ever been able to do in work and in life just ended. I spent 2 days in my home office just staring at my email inbox and could not mentally process ANYTHING. I finally had to take short term disability and get counseling which did help but honestly, your talk sounds so much exactly like what I am going thru. I'm currently off work now again and just don't think I can go back full time. I've been in healthcare for 30 years and the way things are now, both personally and professionally, tell me I have to create more space away from work. Lump me into those women not working due to menopausal impacts. THANKS AND BLESS YOU!
I'm so sorry to hear that. HRT can really help and is very safe.
This really resonated with me, I’m 55, diagnosed with combined ADHD last year. Menopause was a big factor in the escalation of my ADHD traits and left me unable to cope with everyday life. Thankfully I am now medicated and life is a lot easier though by no means easy. I know quite a lot of women who have gone through/are going through a similar process since peri menopause. It’s crazy that there is no research done, it has blown my mind that ADHD wasn’t recognised in women until so late. This has to change!
I cried while listening to your talk. I'm 53 and I'm soooooo MAD! And you made me so proud to be, sister! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻❤❤❤❤❤❤
❤❤❤❤❤
This is such a wonderful talk that I wish I would have heard sooner. This is the type of education that women need to hear. I had the exact same experience as you, and feared that I was starting the early stages of dementia. My sister experienced the same. We both sought out medical testing because we were frightened that our bodies and mind were out of our control. I received an ADHD diagnosis at the age of 50 and while it felt good to identify it, I was deeply saddened and angry for all of the opportunities I lost because of something I didn't know I had.
Thank you for sharing this with the world, you are making a huge impact. Keep talking.
Thank you for taking time to comment and share your experience. I get the anger and loss. I'm learning to let go and move forward but it's tough.
Great talk can relate as a 51 year old whose undiagnosed ADHD got a whole lot worse when peri menopause kicked in ! Realised I had ADHD after my teen daughter ( inattentive type ) was diagnosed last year. 😊
Thank you. I'm hearing more and more women tell me the same thing. We definitely need to be talking more about this.
I am not diagnosed with ADHD. However, I have recently come to realise it's highly likely that I have always had it. And in my current early on set menopause due to surgery. I related hard to every.single.bit of this. Thank you.
Thank you, this was an amazing watch - emotional but also affirming. I don't have an ADHD diagnosis (although I self identify), I am autistic and found so much of this to be true albeit I had an early menopause due to a partial hysterectomy at 42. I am a MAD woman - proud of it and am spreading the word for all us MAD women so that others understand :-)
I was just diagnosed ADHD at 55. I am so happy that the message is getting out. Thanks
Yes we need to normalise ADHD and talk more about it. Have you thought about how you will manage your ADHD?
I want to say thank you. I'm 57 and in a week im seeing my doctor because my life is falling apart and I know that it's adhd as my kids have it and I have seen it in myself all my life but it has finally got to the point I can't deal with it anymore. I was thinking it's because I can't burn it off the way I could years ago. But this helps me so much thank you. I so glad I can cross this. Now I don't feel so alone.
Same I am 58 and just got diagnosed. An earlier diagnosis might have saved my career I was going through the worst of this and didn’t know what my problem was two fold ADHD and menopause.
I'm 37 and in confirmed perimenopause-- I'm scheduled to be seen about ADHD as well. The past few months I feel like i'm losing my mind
Thank you for raising this issue! Perimenopause is definitely the missing piece of the ADHD-depression triangle!!
Thank you for this. I am barely getting by now with ADD and menopause. Still constantly moving and starting over, with less each time. Now facing a medical issue without health insurance or real friends (watching them all succeed at family and careers was too hard). In DEEP regret over lost opportunities, and embarrassed at the excessive amount of money and effort I've wasted trying to find a place to fit in. I've had more than one therapist tell me that "everyone has trouble focusing", but they didn't have to go to 4 colleges before getting a degree, or leave good jobs for lesser ones because of feelings of incompetence. Because I am alone (no kids or partner) and educated, I would never go on medicaid, but the bills will take the rest of my life to pay off. It is the most confounding situation. And very very lonely.
I'm so sorry to hear you're having such a hard time.
I'm so sorry. I feel your pain as my journey has been similar, especially the deep regrets over opportunities I've let go because I just could not do what was needed to get things done. The effort was exhausting and beyond me. I'm also alone, and recently had a serious health scare. All I can say is that I'm sorry you are in this situation, and I understand.
You are not alone. Your experience EXACTLY parallels mine. To a "T."
Virtual hugs …
So grateful. MAD we are! I also think research into the link between ADHD/Peri and marriage breakdown would reveal interesting ties. Now look at the rates of women over 55 in economic distress or experiencing homelessness and let’s talk about the social impacts of it all together. Quit or lose your job, breakup, breakdown….
A quick fix is HRT, I had to plead and argue my case to receive it, but it held back the aches and pains, the waves of fatigue, the hot flushes, and gave me the energy and focus to complete a physically demanding pre-trades course, whilst working and supporting two teenagers. On average I'd get one day off a fortnight, but I was so productive. I'm building up my resources to undertake more training and diversifying my skillset. I couldn't do it without getting my hormone top- up
interesting i had never taken on this level of appreciation
As a peri Meno 46 yr old I had a complete break down and had to take 6mths off work to try to adjust to a new me. The brain fog, fatigue and lack of self worth are really bad. Then I started to read up on ADHD (a counselor recommended my daughter should be referred for diagnosis) My eyes started to open to a world I didn't understand but that totally described ME.
Watching a lass from the NE talk about her own journey just clarified my thoughts. Thank you for sharing your story xx I'm definitely M.A.D. ❤
Thanks for commenting Penny. I think there's far more of us MAD sisters than we realise. 😊
I definitely went through a MAD phase, if not still going through it. I was unable to focus and my motivation levels hit rock bottom after a hysterectomy at 50. I retired early and simply have done my best to take care of my personal relationships under what seems like a bit of a cloud at times. Learning about the role of Dopamine and other coping strategies has helped a lot. Also, finding out that I'm not alone is a huge revelation.
Sorry to hear that. It definitely helps knowing others understand ❤
This was fantastic! It's just not talked about enough. When I was young I thought menopause was just not having a period anymore and if that was it then that's a great thing...but no...when you feel like less of a woman and less of a person it is truly sad😢
Thank YOU.. I’m in my mid 50’s and in the last few weeks have decided that i have ADHD…ADD in fact. The last 4 years have been… MAD. Thank you for this talk..just fantastic ❤
I absolutely love this video. Thank you so much. All the things you're talking about in this video are me. Never living up to my dad's expectations of who I was supposed to be; nor understanding that there was something different about me. The daydreaming, loving music, cosmetics and fashion. I squeezed myself into a career but none of them were what I wanted to do. I found out at 40 that I had ADHD after my son was born. And the embarrassment of not being able to keep a tidy home; not a room anymore. Thank you so much for helping me to understand now.l😢
I'm glad it helped. I'm finding it so reassuring knowing I'm not alone here x
@@BevThorogood😊 no you're not alone.
That talk was a lightning bolt ⚡️ for my symptoms on Menopause I’m going through now… so I may have ADHD without knowing
I was 37, just about 3 years ago, when I went into full menopause... and my life has been an emotional rollercoaster since then.
I feel you speaking directly about me. Diagnosed ADHD at 47 while going through menopause. Lucky I have HRT and a female doctor guiding me. The ADHD is still being dealt with but I am tired, been under massive work stress. I'm moving jobs but am dog tired......thank you for validating my experiences.
I hear you. It's hard ❤
Menopause and unmanaged ADHD did crush me and it would have annihilated me without HRT.
I'm crying. This is my story, too! I seriously thought I was going crazy and that it was just a me thing. I will be sharing this with my physician. Thank you for sharing this incredible information. Bless you, dear woman.
Good luck with your physician. I hope they give you good support.
Thanks for talking about ADHD and Menopause!!! Listening to you was like listening to my own story.
From one MAD sister to another,
Thanks for sharing 😊
Glad I got the tip about your TED talk from your brother. I was unaware and now have useful information to help and support the women in my family. Thank you!
I was diagnosed with ADHD 2 weeks ago. I’m 55 years old.
A brilliant talk, Bev! Brian provided the link from his channel. Yes, MAD indeed! When I went through it, I was just told to get on with it. This was some 25 years ago. Oestrogen tablets were the way to go, then it appeared they caused cancer, so after a year I stopped them and went on to herbal tablets, which helped considerably. Luckily, it was over after about 2 years, and boy, do you feel free! No more tampons etc! I too left my job, then returned to a different one. The hot flushes were the worst, especially when you’re sitting at a meeting trying to look intelligent!!! Greetings from the Land of Oz🇦🇺
Could you share which herbal treatments?
@@northernfox6420 I’m in Australia. They’re different here. Ask a pharmacist and see what they have, or a herbalist.The ones I took, I can’t remember the name, but I don’t think they’re made anymore.
Exactly this happened to me. Exactly!
Yes, like others have mentioned in other comments, how to get through all of this when it is so difficult. To find the right meds, diet, insight,etc. Thank you for your talk. Hopefully more research will be done in future. I've known about my ADD since graduating from college / BA, then studied LEarning Disabilities for my Masters. I'm a Special Ed and Art Teacher trying to find my path during all of the craziness of menopause. I started having hot flashes in my classroom and then COVID hit .. not a good mix! lol. It is a difficult road these days, as I'm not the same person, depressed, tired and burnt out. I did lose a job 2 years ago, and wondering if I should retire from teaching, but of course in the US it is hard to afford health care without a decent job. Currently, I'm a special ed aid in a preschool class, the kiddos are cute but it really is like herding cats, I've been forgetful on the job, like leaving sanitizer spray on the counter, which is a no-no. Hmm what to do. I would like to move to Baja and live in a yurt, paint and go kayaking. Someday this too shall pass.
I'm 54 and come home from work and pass out on the couch. Exercise is helping but I now think I have BDD from it as well. I am thankful that I am not alone. I think I'm going crazy sometimes....
I've been dealing with this for 15 years. I'm 58. I felt like Charly Gordon in Flowers for Algernon coming down from his pinnacle of his intelligence back to his 68 IQ. I ran a business, and told my friend that I should fire me cuz I could no longer competantly perform my work. In the last year, I've really unraveled, and am exhausted, anxious and almost paralyzed. I was wondering how I could continue with a quality of life to function. Thank you for this talk. Research is much needed. The problem is defined, now I can work on solutions.
My God this was a revelation 😢 relief to see I'm not alone, far from it. Hugs and encouragement ladies wherever you are. We must start like Bev spreading the word, explaining and most of all we must ensure our daughters, nieces, younger sisters all know this, it will be crucial for them. I wish I had heard this decades ago.
This is me… thank you!!! At 51, it feels so good to be validated. You’re MY hero!
Omg I'm so glad I found this!!
I'm 43 and going through Perimenopause.
I've got my adhd assessment on Wednesday.
Been wondering if I’m ADHD & identifying with so many symptoms & struggles of that. And I’m post menopausal. This makes so much sense.
Omg!! I have goosebumps! I honestly feel like you’re saying exactly the same as like storm he got I went through! God bless you and thank you for posting this
I was diagnosed during my menopause period. I lost my job, my marriage. I then went on a huge spending spree. My house is now a huge mess and I have an enormous amount of unpaid pills and just piles of unnecessary stuff at home. I have been misdiagnosed with anxiety for almost two decades. Now the mess at home has completely crippled me and left me lying in bed. It’s just too much to handle.
Stephanie I'm so sorry to hear this. I really hope you can find some help and get things back on track. Sending you much love ❤️
Pay a sorter to come and help ❤
Telling my story.😢😢
Yes yes yes. All of what you experienced i did too!
Wow … I so needed to hear this … I thought I was loosing my mind ….I have now asked for referral to be assessed for ADHD .. I am so hopeful that my life actually can become manageable ❤
🙏 amen!! Thank you for all your dedication to helping others
Thank you, Bev. Came to many of these truths myself over the past 18 mos. So good to hear it articulated so well, from a sister I never met. ;-)Thank you. 💖
Thank you for this. I have ADHD, but have never found medication to be very helpful. Over the past year or so, i have been struggling so much more. I often feel like I am losing my mind. I am 46 and have had an endometrial ablation, so i have not had any periods since that procedure over 10 years ago. I tried to tell my gynecologist that i was in peri menopause , but she didn't believe me and put me on a different antidepressant from what I was taking. It is so hard to find good medical help, especially in Mississippi. Thanks. This was very validating to me. I feel a little less crazy.
It's a shame the medical world isn't more cluttered up in women's reproductive processes. Glad my talk helped 😊
This is me too !
Fantastic! "MAD" indeed!
Thank you !! We must do better in this area! I thought I was the only one wondering which was worse ADHD or menopause!!
true
I was diagnosed at 45 after 25 years of medication for depression and anxiety and countless therapists. The hormones are starting to mess with me now but at least I know I’m not crazy, just MAD. 😂
Very insightful and I can relate to much of what you talk about 😒
Nothing helps disregulated dopamine like a bit of speed. Glad insurance covers it.
Aside the misplaced sarcasm, giving the body the right nutrients can be as good as going on drugs.
I'm a MAD woman too... ADHD & Mennaposal. Its a CHALLENGE
Yes, I can relate! Right on! ❤
Women aren't permitted to express themselves in the way men are, so as girls, we learned to stifle, sublimate, and cope, but we didn't give in to impulses regularly, lest be considered hysterical.
This has made me cry as I can relate to everything you said
Brilliant!
Thank you
Great talk. Powerful information and education on something that nobody talks about. Thank you for this. You have hit the mark on this for women in menopause and managing and leaving careers.
Thank you for bringing light and explanations to this important chapter for many women.
Thank you 🙏
Exactly right.
Thank you!!! I so needed to hear this!❤
I'm going to show this video to my PCP. I have been going through perimenopause for the past 8 years. This video describes everything I have been feeling.
Thank YOU!! 😭😭😭😭❤
Brilliantly done!
Brilliant. Absolutely spot on. Can we have another on autism and menopause please someone?
thankyou, it brought me to tears! 😢 Listening to you, hearing my own story.
What a brilliant talk Bev! Really insightful - thank you for sharing
I’m 51 and your life story mirrors mine very closely. I started unraveling during my cancer journey and was dismissed as cancer emotional. That I’d get over it. But the downward spiral only intensified until I’m barely functioning to run to the grocery store from the anxiety. Now I’m dismissed with anxiety and depression. Nothing even about untreated forced early menopause for a decade now. I’m pushing for help. But I’m also so well masked and socially inept that I seem fine because I don’t know how to explain my brain struggles properly
I'm sorry you've had such a hard time being listened to. I wonder if a session or two with an ADHD coach could help you get some answers?
Great TED talk Bev
Excellent talk Bev x
Misdiagnosed for over 20years now adhd and been going through perimenopause for the last god knows how many but lately it's getting really intense watch out world 😂
Thank you so, so much🩷
Bravo 👏🏻