Capitalism Hits Home: Marriage Is No Longer A Rite of Passage in American Adulthood

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  • Опубліковано 3 гру 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 144

  • @bobcornwell403
    @bobcornwell403 3 місяці тому +16

    I love it how the right wing politicians talk about "family values". All.of their talk is about expectations on the women and especially the poor. They expect them to have children and raise them successfully all the while they slash access to just about every social support system meeded to make such success posible.such sustems include: reliable employment with a livable wage, affordable housing, affordable transportation, affordable health care, and affordable child care.

    • @brucemarmy8500
      @brucemarmy8500 3 місяці тому

      Hold the phone Bob, the first crime perped on us is theft of labor! Reparations? Try getting paid market value of value you added! For every dollar you make for the boss, you get one cent. How about a fair split of gains? For every buck of profit you made for the boss, you get 50 cents.
      That way, when the boss needs more profit, more folks get work, more investment gets made. No one has the right to wind fall profits, or free labor. No one.
      We don't need hand outs and Gov't policies; we need equal rights and justice.

    • @ZenBen_the_Elder
      @ZenBen_the_Elder 3 місяці тому

      ... but it's the bad culture

  • @Ace1000ks19751982
    @Ace1000ks19751982 3 місяці тому +27

    I am afraid of getting married, because of the divorce laws.

    • @tEqUiko
      @tEqUiko 3 місяці тому +1

      🙋

    • @Marxist2
      @Marxist2 3 місяці тому +4

      Ir was easy to divorce in Chicago, IL.And it was not expensive. My ex & I still talk & get along better now.

    • @Ace1000ks19751982
      @Ace1000ks19751982 3 місяці тому +1

      @@Marxist2 The question is how much can your spouse take after a divorce? I have a lot to lose if I get into a divorce.

    • @The1Elcil
      @The1Elcil 3 місяці тому +1

      @@Marxist2 please give details of your divorce
      ( how much, who pays / agreed to support etc...)
      AND I would argue that your beliefs [as pseudo socialist] make you "different" than the majority [i.e not the rule], but you know that :))

    • @beng4647
      @beng4647 3 місяці тому +1

      I would never risk it.

  • @rjung_ch
    @rjung_ch 3 місяці тому +9

    My divorce in 1988 cost me only the notary public stamp, we had nothing and so that was so simple. It was done on a single letter sized sheet. I did it in Colorado, we were done in 30 minutes. Since we had nothing, it was easy. She took this, I took that, all was well.
    That a divorce costs $ 7000 is outright nuts.

    • @GrandmaCathy
      @GrandmaCathy 3 місяці тому +4

      It is prohibitively expensive.

    • @klokangeorge4005
      @klokangeorge4005 3 місяці тому

      Sure, thé talk Is half of bullshit, go off thé Broken woman

  • @JaneAusten24
    @JaneAusten24 3 місяці тому +18

    thank you Dr. Fraad. At 65 I've been divorced since 2007. It just seems so crazy to me, and maybe it is part of the great lie we are told, grow up, get married, buy a house and have children complete with a 30 mortgage when if you lose you job you can also lose your home.

    • @l.w.paradis2108
      @l.w.paradis2108 3 місяці тому +2

      Er, that's the point of two or more incomes.

    • @bluewater454
      @bluewater454 3 місяці тому +4

      @@JaneAusten24 So your advice now is to simply stay cloistered in a social and economic shell all of your life to protect yourself, because bad things happen?

    • @theresamcmullen4841
      @theresamcmullen4841 3 місяці тому

      @@bluewater454even so, you’ll still good luck, and friends willing to bolster p r n.

    • @rjung_ch
      @rjung_ch 3 місяці тому +3

      It's really a societal dogma that people try to believe in. Right or wrong, it's how it is. But today vs in the 80s, people wait to get married and aren't ready to commit in the early 20 years of age. It's changing and that is good. There is no need to get married and have kids so early in life, especially before these new grown ups still have no idea of life, work, partnerships, etc.

    • @l.w.paradis2108
      @l.w.paradis2108 3 місяці тому

      @rjung_ch Well, there are pressures in two directions, and it all has to do with MONEY.
      When you marry, your spouse becomes your next of kin, which means they can make decisions about your life when you can't. Who can you trust with that power? Especially with life insurance or other survivor benefits in the mix?
      On the other hand, the financial security that comes with marriage is still unique. Remember the marriage equity movement? Remember the statistics that show young divorced or never married women with children are the most likely to be impoverished or to fall from middle class status to poverty?

  • @patricialongo5870
    @patricialongo5870 3 місяці тому +5

    Given the popularity of anti depressants, depo provera, anti anxiety drugs and opiates, why expect anyone is having sex? It makes marriage useless.

  • @sawtoothbygeorge
    @sawtoothbygeorge 3 місяці тому +19

    Marriage isn't dead but in ICU very sick.

    • @nicollokhumalo2826
      @nicollokhumalo2826 3 місяці тому +4

      It's on its way out though.

    • @sawtoothbygeorge
      @sawtoothbygeorge 3 місяці тому +2

      @@nicollokhumalo2826 Sadly, you might be right. Certainly not a good trend for the human race.

  • @aleaiactaest8354
    @aleaiactaest8354 3 місяці тому +8

    Having family is really expensive.

  • @bellakrinkle9381
    @bellakrinkle9381 3 місяці тому +15

    Marriage (relationships) only work if everyone has the necessary communication skills. I used to think it was men, but then I got honest with myself and realized that I'm neither open nor honest about inner thoughts and emotions. The reality is that no one is comfortable sharing our innermost feelings, and few of us were taught these skills as children. We are all products of generational imperfections. I can only think that therapy is needed by all. How else will we get the necessary practice to explore who we are as individuals? It's a timely and costly process with which to become comfortable. The truth is that learning to be open and honest is too complicated or overwhelming; therefore, we all (most) turn our backs on coupledom and get along alone as best we can.

    • @vivalaleta
      @vivalaleta 3 місяці тому +3

      That's just sad.

    • @bellakrinkle9381
      @bellakrinkle9381 3 місяці тому +5

      @@vivalaleta It's unfortunate. Basically, unless parenting skills are in place, life will be difficult. Schools could teach parenting skills, but they don't. Not that I know of.

    • @vivalaleta
      @vivalaleta 3 місяці тому

      @@bellakrinkle9381 My mother was a narcissistic woman who misspent her inheritance moving from house to house to mansion. My dad was browbeaten by her. But when I found my soulmate I knew it. We poured our hearts out to each other and I can count our arguments on one hand after 16 years. Nobody needs to teach you. If you find the right person it comes naturally.

    • @The1Elcil
      @The1Elcil 3 місяці тому +2

      wow! An awesome comment!
      [honestly... one of the best I have ever seen on the Internet]
      I agree with you about many things.
      I use the word "trauma" to describe "generational imperfections".
      you claim that "noone" is comfortable sharing... not true , as you share :))
      Therapy is a new religion, which I reject, on the basis of other religions
      Thank you.
      I wish to know more people like you IRL

    • @brucemarmy8500
      @brucemarmy8500 3 місяці тому

      Not in total agreement. Having nothing is the central truth about the American dream. We believed politicians could protect the citizenry from corporate malfeasance. Not the case. Your marriage dissolved for profit. The resources you used as a couple you now use individually, doubling the services now needed for two, not one household.
      We are bait to corporations and politicians are selling us to corporate adventurists for paltry donations.

  • @cpt.oblivion
    @cpt.oblivion 3 місяці тому +3

    I planned on having at least several children and being married. I had my first child and my kids mother took me to family court and the experience was so unfair and unjust that I decided I will never have another child and never get married. Meanwhile I know several people on welfare who decided to have 7 children on welfare, and the same government that took my one child from me thinks this is perfectly fine. I now live in Portland and I see children being raised in tents but somehow my only child was taken from me and I now own a home and make well over $200,000 a year. My child's mother whom the judge gave my daughter to is homeless, missing all her teeth at 39 and smokes meth and injects it.

  • @ShardDesu
    @ShardDesu 3 місяці тому +10

    These are always so illuminating.

  • @flame-sky7148
    @flame-sky7148 3 місяці тому +7

    That's a good analysis.

    • @klokangeorge4005
      @klokangeorge4005 3 місяці тому

      But not fair play....mány men Are good men, but alcohol,drugs, Force, old schémas, et Woman...(whose didn't suported him, Force thé children )
      In thé reality, Woman Is ONLY pedestrial fór Fascism.
      Now it'so. And maybe hidden support fór all this Hitlers, Perón, Chaves, Castros, Kings-Queens.
      You Are Broken, not thé Man.

  • @ONESOLUTIONREVOLUTION-d2i
    @ONESOLUTIONREVOLUTION-d2i 3 місяці тому +1

    Keep up the good work democracy at work, you are changing lives

  • @jamessmith1785
    @jamessmith1785 3 місяці тому +1

    “Despite all the man made technological advancements invented to provide for an easier happier life for his family in America, it seems that his final achievements have only produced the reverse.” - Esther Vilar

  • @The1Elcil
    @The1Elcil 3 місяці тому +4

    Fantastic content.
    Thank you

  • @egbutler114
    @egbutler114 3 місяці тому +14

    Too many men are financially harmed by divorce. It's not worth the risk. The increased costs of living is also a problem.

    • @GrandmaCathy
      @GrandmaCathy 3 місяці тому +4

      Same with women.

    • @qjtvaddict
      @qjtvaddict 3 місяці тому

      @@GrandmaCathyincrease social support systems

    • @eaglecatannie3786
      @eaglecatannie3786 2 місяці тому

      Women, especially mothers, have worse financial outcomes/ higher poverty rates after divorce than men do.

    • @jandrews6254
      @jandrews6254 2 місяці тому +1

      Women aren’t parasites. They contribute. You can have a prenuptial agreement that says you get to keep your property and wealth in the event of divorce but understand that it works both ways. Not often, but I have heard of women who have run a successful business during their marriage but when they divorce husband wants to seize half of her business even if he had a prenup. Be careful what you wish for.
      And when women have children with a husband and stay at home to care for those children, they lose out on income and superannuation so when they return to the workforce, they are behind financially and careerwise. I’ve also heard of one woman who wanted her husband (who was the one desiring children, not her) to pay her a wage per annum for the work she performed in carrying, delivering and caring for his child. So again, if you make your marriage a transaction, remember it works both ways.

    • @eaglecatannie3786
      @eaglecatannie3786 2 місяці тому

      @@egbutler114 women, especially mothers, suffer financial hardship post-divorce at higher rate and over longer term than men do.

  • @ZenBen_the_Elder
    @ZenBen_the_Elder 3 місяці тому +8

    Marriage and children are a privilege of the bourgeois class.
    And, yes, their lawyers draw up pre-nups to minimize the financial hit of a potential divorce.

    • @klokangeorge4005
      @klokangeorge4005 3 місяці тому

      Absolutely no .
      Socialismus did.

    • @cpt.oblivion
      @cpt.oblivion 3 місяці тому

      Correct. Or if you're on welfare for some reason the government promotes you having 8 kids.

  • @l.w.paradis2108
    @l.w.paradis2108 3 місяці тому +15

    Someone thinks men or women can make it on their own in this economy?
    What, did everyone grow up in an affluent suburb?

    • @sanford943
      @sanford943 3 місяці тому +5

      Years ago this was not the case. In the 50's, 60's and maybe some what beyond women could stay at home. This is the period I grew up in. My mother didn't work and we were not wanting for anything. Different times

    • @l.w.paradis2108
      @l.w.paradis2108 3 місяці тому +5

      @sanford943 That's nice. Mine went to work when I was three and that was not fun. Chicago, West Side.

    • @sanford943
      @sanford943 3 місяці тому +1

      @l.w.paradis2108 I was born in Chicago. Lived on both sides of town. As best as I can remember we lived in a 3 room apartment

    • @brucemarmy8500
      @brucemarmy8500 3 місяці тому +2

      I'm from the throw away society that TV raised to be gullible and hateful. And carry that to its natural conclusion: I am completely alone, and absolutely miserable. Congratulations on alienating your boy. (But it was for a good cause-profit.)

    • @l.w.paradis2108
      @l.w.paradis2108 3 місяці тому +1

      @brucemarmy8500 I am paraphrasing James Baldwin (his centennial was August 2), because I cannot seem to find the exact quote:
      *"And anyway, since it will end one day, why not try it -- life -- one more time?"*

  • @cev12
    @cev12 3 місяці тому +1

    What does Harriet Fraad consider it, when older men replace their wives and marry much younger, ethnic women, as Chris Hedges, Cornell West and Noam Chomsky did? Seems like the patriarchy to me.

  • @leftykeys6944
    @leftykeys6944 2 місяці тому

    Where does Mr. Vance get off, telling us how to manage our private lives?!

  • @GrandmaCathy
    @GrandmaCathy 3 місяці тому +1

    One out of 3!! OMG!! That is horrible!!!

  • @TheTownzFinest
    @TheTownzFinest 2 місяці тому

    A good analysis

  • @mravalosmj
    @mravalosmj 3 місяці тому +2

    damn she's good!!

  • @GrandmaCathy
    @GrandmaCathy 3 місяці тому +1

    Fellowship benefits married people as well as single people.

  • @robini.1338
    @robini.1338 3 місяці тому +9

    Hi Harriet… The only thing about a woman leaving is the tax system, it hasn’t caught up. We have to file as single which penalizes women! I enjoy listening to you and often do! Robin😄🌺

    • @ronstephen-wy4ib
      @ronstephen-wy4ib 3 місяці тому +1

      So you think that it's okay for men but unfair that women have to file as single 🤔 smh

  • @milantomich6568
    @milantomich6568 3 місяці тому

    Until money is distributed much better, nothing you can do. And other things in culture have to be normal again.

  • @GrandmaCathy
    @GrandmaCathy 3 місяці тому +1

    I’ll stay in an abusive marriage. Sure I will, just as soon as I get the life insurance.

    • @jandrews6254
      @jandrews6254 2 місяці тому

      Life insurance doesn’t ensure you live, it gives a payout to your next of kin or the person nominated, usually your spouse, in the event of your death

  • @jamessmith1785
    @jamessmith1785 3 місяці тому

    Thank you for realizing what I have been trying to say, the destruction of family in America and how capitalism (effective nature and ideology) affects this destruction. Feminism as it defines equality under the law is just, Feminism as defined by “me first above all” by an over privileged generation is not only unjust but is now visibly destructive to all,, since it affects all in the family. Now the new question to you is; When excess and greed have led to the division of family, how does the income gap between men and woman help further cause this destruction? Would more money to a housewife make her more responsible to her family and help her maintain the role of a traditional mother? Or would it make her more eager for greater wealth and more independence, thereby more alienated to her family? Let’s not kid ourselves; this is all part of our destructive path in our evolution. Professor Wolff is also of French ancestry and there is an old saying “How do you get us back on the farm after we’ve seen Paree?”
    “Paree like the internet is just an illusion and we will eventually have to go back to basic and frugal ways of living which made up most of our long previous human history minus the last half century. This reversal is now more important with the uncontrolled doubling of our global population in the last half century. Like a temporary feast for rats in granary, all our life preserving sustenance will, and is running out (recent wars). Our new system of increasing easy paid services to increased comfort levels and independence (mostly in america) by an increasing society of receivers versus providers cannot be sustained, quite like our planetary resources. We will have to go “back to the farm” someday soon or discover in times of crisis that we will not be able to survive on the simple services and acquisitions provided of our laptops and cell phones (Items which in themselves are not edible). (Reflection, by Guzziferno)
    Now, the exploitation of the American fathers is not mentioned here. The majority of men in this country work like indentured servants; they are not the micro fraction of men who control woman’s salaries and wages. They are the majority who work to secure their families and who lose children in custody battles (95% of separation’s) and income in support payments even if it renders them homeless. This is fact.
    “The exploitation of the American male by the American female would be a purely American affair were it not a [growing] model for women all over the world. Unfortunately, the economic hegemony of the U.S.A. influences not just the politics, science, research, and culture of all other capitalist countries but, to a great extent, the social behavior of their populations”- Esther Vilar
    “ONLY THE [TRULY] OPPRESSED have any real need of freedom. Yet as soon as they are free - and providing they have the intelligence to weigh their freedom against the possible consequences - this need changes. - Esther Vilar
    France also has a higher percentage of women who are dedicated to being mothers and wives.

  • @etspiritus
    @etspiritus 3 місяці тому +2

    ✊🏾✌🏾

  • @p5rsona
    @p5rsona 3 місяці тому +12

    Good. Marriage sucks

    • @pokemercenary6511
      @pokemercenary6511 3 місяці тому +2

      My ex wife didn’t. That’s why I’m divorced 🫤

    • @HazeLucid
      @HazeLucid 3 місяці тому

      @@pokemercenary6511😂

  • @pokemercenary6511
    @pokemercenary6511 3 місяці тому +11

    You should never get married. Marriage causes divorce 😮

    • @bluewater454
      @bluewater454 3 місяці тому +6

      @@pokemercenary6511 dumbest comment imaginable. That is like saying don’t get a job. Jobs cause people to get fired 😄

    • @pokemercenary6511
      @pokemercenary6511 3 місяці тому +1

      @@bluewater454 🤡

    • @l.w.paradis2108
      @l.w.paradis2108 3 місяці тому +5

      ​@@bluewater454 It was a joke.

    • @bellakrinkle9381
      @bellakrinkle9381 3 місяці тому +3

      You could be correct. Marriage brings unvoiced implicit or explicit expectations.

    • @pokemercenary6511
      @pokemercenary6511 3 місяці тому +3

      @@bellakrinkle9381 I was being facetious, but I think it’s a bad deal. I’ve never met a couple who were on the same frequency when they got married.

  • @JoseColomer-e9u
    @JoseColomer-e9u 3 місяці тому +2

    🩵🩵🩵

  • @PETERVOITOFF
    @PETERVOITOFF 3 місяці тому

    Where do I get one of those coffee cups???

  • @beng4647
    @beng4647 3 місяці тому +7

    Its not financially practical for men. Sorry. We wont do it anymore.

    • @cpt.oblivion
      @cpt.oblivion 3 місяці тому +1

      That's an excellent point, I make a quarter million dollars a year, why do I want to risk dating a Starbucks barista

    • @cev12
      @cev12 3 місяці тому +1

      You’re no loss though… anyone who values finances over relationships shouldn’t have relationships anyway.

    • @milesfurther4395
      @milesfurther4395 3 місяці тому

      Women don’t want to be slaves in the home either.

    • @jandrews6254
      @jandrews6254 2 місяці тому +2

      It’s not financially practical for women either, so there you go. Sorted!

  • @GrandmaCathy
    @GrandmaCathy 3 місяці тому +2

    This almost make me feel sad for white working men. Never thought that would happen.

  • @tondarmb3947
    @tondarmb3947 3 місяці тому +1

    brilliant analysis! From iran

  • @kianleyon6613
    @kianleyon6613 Місяць тому

    Love the yellow cup, 😅😉😉

  • @klokangeorge4005
    @klokangeorge4005 3 місяці тому

    VNT very nice talk.
    (lost way of Socialism, racio-Socialismus ov course)

  • @JamesBrown-ux9ds
    @JamesBrown-ux9ds 3 місяці тому

    If both go to work, make their own income and want to avoid children than why should they? After work time wants to become consumed as well as pleasing as possible - like time at work - why bother with relations? Most of the time relations are just in our way.

  • @jamessmith1785
    @jamessmith1785 3 місяці тому

    My god what a horrible system of subordination for woman, I think I will move to Somalia

  • @beng4647
    @beng4647 3 місяці тому +3

    I went to college. The womens dorms smelled like rotten seafood at all times.

    • @cpt.oblivion
      @cpt.oblivion 3 місяці тому

      Yeah I've noticed that that these feminist for some reason think that feminism gives them the right to not bathe and not clean anything

  • @infinitemonkey917
    @infinitemonkey917 3 місяці тому +5

    Though declining, most Americans are still religious.

    • @vivalaleta
      @vivalaleta 3 місяці тому +1

      @@infinitemonkey917 Not true. Atheism is on the rise.

    • @The1Elcil
      @The1Elcil 3 місяці тому

      NOT TRUE
      less than half of USA is "religious"
      removing the "MOST" moniker
      and even worse...
      is the fact that those that use the word religious in the USA only consider certain sects of the Cristian cult, which is in SHARP decline
      No, the fact is, religion is dying, rapidly.

    • @ronstephen-wy4ib
      @ronstephen-wy4ib 3 місяці тому +1

      😂🤣😂🤣😂

    • @infinitemonkey917
      @infinitemonkey917 3 місяці тому

      @@ronstephen-wy4ib I'm not shedding tears for them. She made it sound like Christians are now a minority. They aren't and they are determined to make this country a theocracy.

    • @infinitemonkey917
      @infinitemonkey917 3 місяці тому

      @@ronstephen-wy4ib Not sure what you mean. My point is most Americans are still religious. There is also a strong christofascist movement.

  • @xaques.4469
    @xaques.4469 3 місяці тому +6

    I'm gay

    • @p5rsona
      @p5rsona 3 місяці тому +2

      Ok?

    • @sawtoothbygeorge
      @sawtoothbygeorge 3 місяці тому +2

      Your poor thing: I would not brag about it.

    • @teacake6941
      @teacake6941 3 місяці тому +2

      Prove it.

    • @GrandmaCathy
      @GrandmaCathy 3 місяці тому

      You could still get married to a guy.

  • @tanujSE
    @tanujSE 3 місяці тому +1

    You are trying to exaggerate the situation yourself for your taste, capitalism is going all fine, marriage is alright,its not new

    • @rjung_ch
      @rjung_ch 3 місяці тому +6

      Capitalism which has every decade or less a disaster? Prof. Wolff has a lot to say that challenges your viewpoint.

    • @tanujSE
      @tanujSE 3 місяці тому

      @@rjung_ch Criticisms could be made of much of things,and capitalism takes it from communism,but mainstream world is completely different,the thoughts isn't new,god has developed AI

    • @rjung_ch
      @rjung_ch 3 місяці тому +3

      @@tanujSE god and AI, wow, you are amazing me with that. But I don't buy it, especially the god idea. AI is scary and will be misused exactly as splitting the atom was misused. And that was done by humans with no thought of the consequence...

    • @tanujSE
      @tanujSE 3 місяці тому

      @@rjung_ch Most of the people through out the world except few countries are all religions,it doesn't matter you buy it or not
      Somebody said and is correct god is art of workman

    • @rjung_ch
      @rjung_ch 3 місяці тому +2

      @@tanujSE I am aware of that fact, but as long as religion is force fed into society it will take a long time to wake the masses up. Having kids brainwashed to such extent that they don't question certain things in life is a huge loss for them, a huge loss for humanity. If religions, then show them how many have existed before these top 5 we look at today, there were over 2500 over all humanity that's know of today and given enough time, there could be more in the future or no new ones, it all depends on what societies will make out of it or not. I am free of that belief system for decades now and life is so much better, because facts are paramount over beliefs or feelings or stigma. Art is special, but am sure there could still be good art without any beliefs of mystical and unproven stuff.
      Have a great day.

  • @PETERVOITOFF
    @PETERVOITOFF 3 місяці тому +2

    Where do I get one of those coffee cups???

  • @PETERVOITOFF
    @PETERVOITOFF 3 місяці тому +6

    Where do I get one of those coffee cups???

    • @rjung_ch
      @rjung_ch 3 місяці тому +1

      Don't know but I like it!