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@@mirahazim7167omg ur so righttt, she was just the CATALYST/motivator to get us back up and take action. Many people can just sit back, watch her videos, and do nothing. But if you take the action, you’re already getting better and should be so proud of yourself for that 💗💗
"I'm not asking for crazy things , I'm asking for respect, I'm asking to be treated like a human being and if you're unable to do that, you're unable to stay in my life", that got me thinking of what I allowed but don't like in my life...
- People will keep disrespecting you until you get boundaries and are serious about them 5:37 - stop making excuses for people that treat you bad 7:25 - you are not a bad person for having boundaries 9:05 - understand that people don't have the same heart or intentions as you 10:00 - it is a big deal 11:16 - look at how they treat you not what they tell you 12:11 - start asking people why they feel comfortable to ask you/do that to you 13:15 - start asking yourself: am i doing this for me or someone else? 14:00 - it's not your job to help or fix them 15:53 - it's okay if they don't like you 16:58 - see yourself as a luxury 18:07 - practice saying no without too much explanation 19:33 - have time to reconnect to yourself 20:41 - forgive yourself for the times you allowed people to treat you badly 22:02 - practice and baby steps is key 23:41
Thank you and yess in Jesus name i pray to adopt these powerful mindsets. I'm no longer a people pleaser. I'm a boundary boss. Learning new lessons everyday. One step at a time. Glory to God
I’ve lost a lot of ‘friendships’ making boundaries such as no disrespect and you can immediately tell who is a real friend or not. I feel more comfortable in a small group of friends than a huge ‘friendly’ group. Peer pressure is real, it is not selfish to put yourself first when it is needed
This is so real, I've always been a person with small group of friends because of that I was more of a people pleaser cuz I was afraid I would be left alone, but I cut them off... And it feels liberating now with the people o have in my life now
@@sashasscorner this is my situation right now. My "friend" group started leaving me out and keeping secrets with another friend that I was friends with before them even. I've now cut both of them off. Yesterday, I got texts from that old friend, who KNOWS she's the reason secrets are kept from me and inviting friends without me, and another asking if I was okay because I completely stopped talking about them. As Liz said, actions speak more than words. If they were really concerned, they'd ask me in person how I'm doing everyday, not every 3 weeks. Sorry for the vent lol
The part about not wanting to answer something and going into a trance and the part about being disrespected and being friends with that person the next day is so relatable. I'd literally get anxious and start spewing and it stemmed from childhood physical and emotional abuse where id get beaten if i didnt answer or give a response my mum didnt like. And getting disrespected was so normal that i thought nothing of disrespect, it was a part of companionship to me. i thought nothing of it. Ive done so much internal work, that when i start realising the narcissists in my life, i cut them off. The sad part is im standing up for myself more but i still dont have the self esteem yet to make new friends. So its really a battle to have boundaries enough to cut people off when need be and have no friends lined up. The biggest help was having quiet time with myself, journalling and asking myself why im allowing certain behaviours and being honest with wether these were real friends or just people there to stop me from feeling lonely.
Virtual interactions ain't enough i want liz to come over and SCREAM at me saying "you are not a bad person for standing up for yourself and having boundaries" in my ears!!!
5:39 People will keep disrespecting you until you get boundaries and are serious about them 7:25 Stop making excuses for people that treat you bad 9:05 You are not a bad person for having boundaries 9:59 Understand that people don't have the same heart or intentions as you 11:17 It is a big deal 12:12 Look at how they treat you not what they tell you 13:16 Start asking people why they feel comfortable to ask/do that to you 14:01 Start asking yourself : Am I doing this for me or someone else? 15:53 It's not your job to help or fix them 16:58 It's okay if they don't like you 18:08 See yourself as a luxury 19:34 Practice saying no without too much explanation 20:43 Have time to reconnect to yourself 22:03 Forgive yourself for the times you allowed people to treat you badly 23:42 Practice and baby steps is key
strong women don’t have attitudes, we have standards. - marilyn monroe. i feel like i’m always told ‘just put up with it’ ‘don’t have an attitude with them’ and told myself these were rules to follow. no!!! standards do not make u a strict human being. it makes you know your self worth!
My mom doesnt talk english, but she's really the typical people pleaser who got bullied by everyone (her friends, her parents, and her husband (my dad) as well). I decided one day to translate one of your video to her and it help her a lot. Thanks, really, you dont know how much it means to me
Stay stong! I was bullied also. It was really hard and I still have traumas, but I am trying to heal and become better and better everyday. Life at school was so hard. After class at job it also was so hard. I tried to be nice but people literaly treated me like a trash. But now i have friends who loves me, helps me. Life is not easy but still is good. Just stay strong ! Everyting will be okay if you start to change.
@@dorutoxd8483 someone who always wants to cater to everyone's needs/happiness without taking their needs/happiness into consideration. they're usually people who are pushovers as well. i hope this helps you understand
Manipulation tactics. I hope you take the time out to know who you are. Theres nothing wrong in valuing yourself and letting people know what you wont accept. I know we never got the chance to exercise that muscle as kids. Once you work on it no one can finesse you into thinking your'e too sensitive or stubborn etc for expressing a need. Guard up!
YESSS.. I’m not the only one then! 🥺 This is a sign of lacking love as a kid when you were the one always ready with a good heart for others. See, I even understand why this can make us cry.
*As a teen boy I find incredible value in Liz’s content as she helped so so much to channel my authenticity and become SUCH a better and more enthusiastic person. Especially as a youtuber myself authenticity is 🔑*
As a 29 year old guy, she has indeed some very insightful content. Things like bullying, anxiety and self-esteem issues are often associated exclusive to women, while a lot of men also have to deal with it in different ways. So many guys can also learn a lot of her.
Same as a teen boy it is therapy , in my experience men don't support fellow men when they need help and blame "women" for not caring about mental health, in my experience the same men who said women don't care about men , so many men suicide etc while infact those are the same men who are bashing and calling snowflake 🙄 when other fellow ask for help, I wish the day how women support and uplift other women , men also start doing that for healthy environment
I like Liz too, the video titled "this video will change your life" made me subscribe to her channel. I liked how real and straight to the point she is. However, sometimes she speaks with double standards and attracts toxic feminists especially the other last videos which forced me -and others- to criticise her. I hope she stays cool and away from such toxicity.
I've told my ex that I didn't wanted to have sex with him this early, like just 15 days into relationship, and he kinda started ignoring me, Resulting, I left him. If he can't respect my boundaries, I'm leaving.
liz was a hurt girl who helped her self out of the broken , she is a really humble and kind prsn I can see that so clear soo so clear ,she didn't found help or anyone to offer it so she became the prsn she needed when she was younger. I hope I will reach the place she reached .SO PROUD OF U LIZ
I hate being a people pleaser, someone could do the most horrible thing to me and I’ll still tell people they’re a good person and what they did wasn’t that serious. Even talking about what they did to me makes me feel so guilty. I still have a lot of healing to do since I’m still going through trauma so it’s hard to heal at the same time but I’m still really grateful for the improvement I’ve made over the past years. As a closed person who has a hard time speaking out I’m really grateful for people like you, thank you
You have to see the situations differently. It's not about is this person good or bad, but his action. Did you get hurt by his action ? Yes, no. Then you say it. It's because you shift the perspective from an external one (related to facts) to internal one, the one that judges the value and nature of the person. This shift makes you judge yourself as well if you say something, that's why you feel guilty. You treat others and yourself with the same perspective that you adopt. That's why you have to learn to not shift of perspective. Stay in actions level, you don't need to deeper and evaluate the level of goodness. In the action perspective, the fact to say "I didn't like this action" is logical because you think "which action is appropriate regarding the fact that this hurt me?" Action - action. In the judgmental perspective, you would think "but this person is good deep down" then "I'm a bad person if I say something "rude" to a good person" judgement - judgment, and if there is a good person, there is a bad one. But that's not TRUE. So, hurting action - protection action. It makes sense, right ?
Estás por buen camino por algo la vida te permitió conocer este canal no dire que gracias a este canal sanarás ya que eres un ser grandioso y lo harás por tu cuenta pero si es gran apoyo los consejos de Liz ella sabe lo que dice
I wouldn't say any of the things you mentioned makes you weak. I don't think assigning the label of "bad" to someone who treated you unfairly is going to make you feel better. Nor will talking to others about the bad stuff they did because that is mostly negative energy that will pull you down. Our self-love will show when we refuse to continue to engage with someone who was inconsiderate of us. I think you're doing very well :)
I think for anyone dealing with stuff like this it’s always important to remember that your brain and emotions are not your enemy. I know being a people pleaser is not an easy thing. You sacrifice a lot of yourself and you sacrifice your own boundaries and even your well being sometimes for it. But at the same time, connection with other people is something that is essential for humans- we are social creatures after all. Instead of hating it and being frustrated with yourself for being this way- remember it’s always good to ask “what about this is still serving me somehow?” I think many people who have people pleasing tendencies are taught (or it is implied to them at least) that they cannot receive love and/ or connection with their family and parents while also being their authentic self at the same time. So we shrink ourselves. We sacrifice our own boundaries for the sake of closeness with others. And then we fall into this same pattern with all of our relationships. Maybe you still struggle with this because you still have that belief? It might be buried deep down and you might not even be consciously aware you still have it, but my guess is that you do. Many people pleasers do and it is why we continue to sacrifice ourselves bc to stop feels as though we will lose all connections with others. Just some food for thought to anyone who reads this
When I first saw you, I thought you must have been that alpha female all your life and people like me are so lucky to be able to listen to you and learn. Now when I actually saw you tell about the same struggles because you have literally been through all that it made my heart swell.❤️ I’ve been hurt all my life for being a people pleaser and empathy is more of my weakness than strength, but looking at you I feel so powered with confidence and the belief that I can change my life for real and not just in the fake scenarios in my head, i hope you see this comment. So much love to you from India! ❤️🇮🇳
Ppl feel so okay to hurt beautiful and successful people because they 1) think all they get in life is applause 2) they can feel better about themselves 3) they think they will not get hurt because of the indeniable value in them
I have faced my bullies after 10 years of leaving school, one was met by accident in a bar. I’ve told her what I think as she thought we are friends, she apologised. The second one who was her cousin, I knew where she works so I went there with my partner just to look into her eyes. Her face dropped when she seen me, she didn’t know what to say, she felt so small and that made me proud of myself for facing that bully. All my feelings of anger and sadness has suddenly disappeared. During my healing journey I’ve tried to understand why they were so horrible to me, but now I’m thinking I actually don’t care what they went through because I was dealing with my own trauma created by them! I have learnt one thing never ever let anyone treat you like sh*t! There’s no excuse whatsoever! Thank you Liz for sharing your experience.
3 minutes in and my heart is broken. I know you don’t want sympathy liz but genuinely I’m so proud of you for where you are despite your struggles. I’ve had a very very similar school & family life. You should be insanely proud of how much of an inspiration you are
7:25 I would always try to justify other people's disrespect by blaming their behavior on their trauma but I have trauma too and I would never treat people like how they do. As a former people pleaser I related to this video so much honestly.
"- you are going to listen. If you don't listen you'll get abused" My struggle with people pleasing in a nutshell. As someone who was abused at school and home, this hits deep. I, too, struggle with people pleasing tendencies and it's nice to know that I am not alone. Love you Liz 💛
healing from being a people pleaser is such a journey. The moment you think you made progress, something happens and you catch yourself doing it again. But what I understand now is that small progress is still progress. If you weren't aware you wouldn't have noticed and it's just by practicing and little by little learning to know what makes you feel uncomfortable that you can truly heal. Good luck everyone, and thank you Liz!
I'm only 18 and feel the same way. Just thinking how much less dramatic my early teenage yrs could have been if only I had someone to tell me all these things. It's never too late to learn tho.
I'm only 16 but i went through lots of stuff and i'm trying my hardest to heal from it.Liz changed my mindset and helped me a lot.I always learn from her videos,i am really thankful 💗 (thank you everyone)
bro I was also 16 and then I woke up and today I am 18 idk how it happened cause I was also writing in comments that I am 16 but you know we are growing up
Iam a college student and i started sitting boundaries for myself i was sociable person, but after i cut off my toxic friends that i studied with i become really introvert because i started protecting my peace and this the best thing i ever did to myself❤😊
My bestie recommended your channel because she knew that I have low confidence, low self-esteem, self doubt etc. And I am grateful that she recommended your channel because your channel really helped me boost my confidence and self-esteem
Bro she has changed me so much, I've been through so much shit and she always put me back on track. Listening to her trauma makes me feel like my problem are nothing. Whenever I tend to give up on life, I listen to her and she brings me back to life. I love u Liz, and these are not just words!
God Liz this 'see youself as a luxury' advice is so life-changing!! so just a few months ago I was ranting to one of my really close friend about why I am always the one who makes the first move in friendships, why I am always the one who has to introduce herself to people in order to befriend them etc. and she just straight up told me " its because everyone in general likes you, you help everyone and nice to people who dont treat you the same, so you are no special to people" and the day I realised where it was going wrong
I’m a recovering extreme people pleaser too! It does make you highly insecure because you continuously say no to yourself ultimately leading you down a path that’s not for you. Saying no and asking myself if it’s something I wanna do before I do anything has been life changing.
im a teen girl and i just got out of a toxic friendship with my "best friend" of 3 years. She did exactly what Liz said like say all these beautiful things and write me the most heart felt notes but when I really needed her she was nowhere to be found. I always made excuses because she had bad mental health but I was so done with making excuses and bending over backwards for her and she was getting way too comfortable treating me like shit so I distanced myself from her and set boundaries silently (i was done explaining myself). Immediately I felt her respect for me go up and she no longer does the things she does. I love you so much Liz I want you to know that you're such a blessing and I thank God that I found you at 16
I also had a toxic friendship with my best friend for three years. These three years have destroyed me so much. Now I have hope again to build myself up …
i was friends with a girl who was physically, verbally, and mentally abusive to me for almost a decade. i cut her off but i wasted so many years of my life staying her friend because i had no one else. i wish i had heard this when i was going through that, this video is so important and i’m glad you’re talking about this topic ❤️
if only your channel existed 5 years ago i believe you would help me so much. that's like the peak of me being a professional people pleaser. and i'm still healing and still struggling every day but i can say i'm at least a little better than i used to. and it's never too late to discover your content i just want to thank you
I can relate to her. Being beautiful, yet struggling my whole life. People not respecting me much. Instead of a people pleaser I was a shy kid. I used to be very shy. Now I finally reached an age (mid twenties) I’m done with all the negativity and struggling during my life. I don’t care about fitting in anymore. Like Liz said I don’t even like them, even now not being that shy anymore. I’d rather respect, love myself and be friendless than something people can walk over. It’s time for me to take my power back and stand out instead. Just like Liz said. I think some people are more meant to stand out 😁 Since It hasn’t been working for us otherwise! We are all special individuals so standing a bit out should be interesting and appreciated. As long as we respect others, why not? Also, people have an impact on us. We better surround ourselves with the most positive people we can. And if we can’t, just know you’re the wiser one and they try to brainwash you you’re the bad one. Don’t go to their level. Know better and love yourself more. ❤
@@yasmineguerin2852 It is what it is. I just wanna tell you life is complicated. Having one nice quality doesn't cover all the (messy) rest. I still need to fight very hard for myself since I've always struggled with self confidence, despite being "beautiful". Beauty is even in the eye of the beholder. It even depends on people what is attractive. So I hope you look at all your blessings. Being alive is already great by itself. But yeah, life's a battle and we can still make it better for ourselves, ugly or pretty. Have a good day.
This was me in the past, I wasn’t living for myself, I was only doing things to please other people and I felt so drained and sad because it was never enough. So don’t ever change who you are for someone else. If they don’t like you they’re welcome to go find what they like and you just keep being your authentic self because you’re awesome just the way you are❤🎉
i cannot put into words how much i relate to this. all my life i’d been a people pleaser. always doing what they wanted and being the good friend that’s always there. but i can honestly say that i barely felt love from most of the people i was surrounded by. i was too scared of rejection that i ended up putting myself aside just to keep them okay. in the bottom of my heart i knew that i was doing it all to stay accompanied despite their mistreatment. liz is very wise when she says “trust their actions”… there’s nothing realer than. most people who abuse u will say that they love and adore you, but their actions speak their truth. i’ve had people tell me they love and would do anything for me but still will disrespect me and belittle my feelings. they will always take advantage of our kindness to fill their voids. it’s so tiring getting used to not receiving back all the love we give others, and im done with it. from now on im choosing myself first!! now i am my top priority and only the people that love me in many healthy ways will stay by my side. i matter too!! i am deserving of love and affection, and i am deserving of having people who will love me so purely and beautifully. thanks a lot for this video liz. you’re always saying what we hide in the depths of our minds. ❤️🩹 i dont need anyone else’s validation to love myself. i am enough, brilliant, and powerful. and only i get to determine who’s worth having in my life.
I'll no longer be a people pleaser. I can say "no" without explanation. I don't need to explain anything. I love boundaries. It protects my energy and keep me safe. Now i know what my body needs and wants. I know how my body works. Been getting to know who am i lately and I've been doing a great job to get to know me. Life is too short to get into unnecessary arguments or please toxic people live your life to the fullest for you only. Live your life without regrets. Do all your missions and when you're finished, please go to heaven and enjoy eternal rewards. We are meant to live a life of greatness in this life. We are meant to have it all and flourish. We are meant to learn lessons and change and upgrade ourselves. Enjoy your time with yourself
I'm convinced Wizardliz reads my mind, this whole weekend I was sad about a people pleaser attitude I've made this week and now she post this video! It's a sign
To whoever reading this, I am so proud of you for coming here and trying to heal yourself. Healing is a really tiring, long and challenging process but once you heal your traumas and rebuild yourself you will be unstoppable. When it gets hard and I feel like I can’t do it anymore I think, if I don’t turn the pain into power then everything I have been through will be for nothing. I have to do this. I love you and I believe in you. Please don’t give up. It’s gonna be okay. It’s gonna pass, you will be just fine. I love you beautiful, precious soul. ❤
I think I'm the oldest follower you have (mid 40's) but you know what, I don't care😂. For a few weeks I have been following you on UA-cam and it has changed my life already. So many things I recognise, Thank you so much ❤. You're really a blessing to me. Lots of love from The Netherlands 🇳🇱 ❣️
This has the best vibes. It feels like were besties at a sleepover having deep conversations and sharing things with each other that we've never done before. 💗
I am so glad I found her at an early age, I just turned 14 and I'm still learning about the world. A small part of me gets inspired whenever I watch any of her videos❤
You are on a right path. Dont waste this time of your life to learn and gather wisdom for you to conquer the world in your 20's. When you reach your 20's focus more on investing and making money. Good luck.
I turn 23 this week and if this is helpful: please, focus on studying and building a future for yourself that is based on being financially stable and emotionally safe. Prioritize only those who show with ACTIONS that they prioritize you as well. Be open only to what you’re able to give to other people. If you’re kind, only prioritize kind people, if you treat people with respect, prioritize and make space in ur life for people who do the same for you, nothing less than that. Stop feeding off propaganda that puts superficial men and famous people above women and daily people that truly make a difference in your life. I could give you many lessons of life, I’m only 23yo, but I’ve seen too much disrespect in my life already and mostly coming from men and people in general who thinks they own the world and can manipulate you. Above anything else just be yourself, do your thing, do good and be good to those who do good and are good to you.
i've been a people pleaser my entire life and still am but recently i started removing myself from people and situations that didn't make me feel good. it still feels so selfish but you really helped me being able to rephrase my thoughts. thank you so much liz❤
she is literally taking my anxiety away even tho it’s temporary rn i’m trying to get to the point where i can be fully confident and unwavering and she is helping A LOT ..Bless you Liz ❤️
My teen self suffered so much bc I was always an extreme people pleaser. I went thru so much shit bcz of that, stayed with wrong people then got betrayed// now I'm 20 and I still struggle a lot for these past traumas but her videos help me so much. I'm so glad I found her because it's really life changing. Thank you liz❤
The fact that those same people who bullied you are probably nowhere in life and u are here makes me so happy!And they are watching you successfull and happy, what a revenge:)
I had a bad start this year at school. I didn't have many friends and I don't know why they wouldn't talk to me. I am also a people pleaser and shy. I also didn't like how they would make fun of me "The people in my class" and how they would hit me as a joke. It is supposed to be a joke but I didn't like it. I am just mad at myself for not standing up for my self and doing nothing. I hope I have a good school year and thank u liz I really appreciate it.
LIZ IS BACK! I look forward to watching your videos. You have literally helped me claw my way out of anxiety and depression. Your videos are a motivation to people like me who think we cannot be understood and don't feel heard. But you? You hear us, you have been where we are right now and I take your advice very seriously. May God bless you with all the health and happiness in the world, beautiful. I love you.
This video is so helpful , I've been a people pleaser since growing up and got treated like shit from my parents and ofc I got bullied and I've never learned to stand for myself , I used to do everything to be likable and to just fit in this video changed my while point of view in life thank you 💞
This video brought up memories, I used to get disrespected and literally bullied back in basic and middle school, I had no friends back then because basically nobody wanted to talk with me. I was that Introverted and indecisive kid. I also used to get bullied and disrespected out of school, in the neighborhood, it was an absolute hell for me. Especially that I lost my friend that year. so I was somewhat lonely. At some point I started working out at home, I started growing muscles and learn to stand up for myself because there was nobody thet to do it for me. At 8th grade my classmates started respecting me, I had their respect forcefully, and in high school nobody tried to mess with me physically. My advice for anyone who get bullied: if you don't stand up for yourself, nobody will.
ive always used to stood up for myself but instead people pushed me ten times even harder down the drain for doing so ...... horrible times of my life , really broke me apart
@@uroojfatima7318 you had to be physically strong, putting up a weak fight can only entertain them but being strong enough to hurt them is what needed to be done. Coincidentally i saw a tweet of Andrew Tate a few days ago saying that he used to get bullied in school bus, when he finally stood up for himself he had to hit one of the bullies with something sharp that caused him to bleed and since then they never messed with him. If he did anything less than what he did, they would have bullied him even worse than before. Anyway glad those days are over for you.
@@amrowski man idk if you should glorify Andrew Tate here , he's a pretty shit man to use as an example here but the thing is I did only put up a physical fight despite me being a girl, I used to hit boys back but they did ten times worse and people didn't listen to me cuz "boys will be boys" it doesn't matter how much you fight back, strong will always oppress the weak :(
@@uroojfatima7318 I'm not glorifying him, i just used his story in the bus for example and motivation. PS i only read that story few days ago so it's kinda related to this subject. Also why is he a shit man? Liz said things about men worse than what Andrew said about women. Is she a shit woman too? Anyway, like I said putting up a fight with bullies isn't enough, I mean a fist fight isn't enough, especially when there are many bullies. Damaging one terribly enough will put the others in place X)
@@amrowski Liz just pointed out bad things about men, also mentioning what she meant by that video calling men out was not directed at all men, Andrew Tate has done worse things to women and said worse things , saying that women don't have good mental capacity to be in a certain job, or that women should be held accountable for rape and that men cheating on their wives is an exercise , and keeps calling women by the word bitch, he doesn't even know basic Respect, liz just pointed out the shit men have started to do , she didn't say hurt men or use them or anything like that, the broke guys thing was about not dating a guy who wouldn't give you his best , not that leave him if he's not rich but about him not putting any effort , and I think she also mentioned in other videos to help your partner if he's trying his best, I can give a perfect example of what kind of guys she was referring to about broke guys who want to be treated like a princess, and only want the girlfriend to put all the effort , my dad is kinda that guy, he's lazy doesn't want to do any job and wants my mum to work only which has made him totally messed up and he was like exactly the kind of guy Liz mentioned in her video , and other point I agree with a lot of stuff Andrew says but I don't like the person itself who says those things, I agree with the ideology to make men masculine again but not the person who's saying it cuz he's done and said worse things
Omg I've been wanting Liz to make a video on how to set boundaries with people so badly and here it is! I struggle with this so much as a people-pleaser because I always think that if I set clear boundaries, I will hurt the other person's feelings, so I end up prioritizing their comfort over mine. Would love a part 2 and even 3 to this video honestly!
Y como Liz dijo cuesta al principio poner límites simplemente decir No a algo porque no me siento cómoda con eso y no es malo es genuinamente normal y simple pero no practicamos poner límites es difícil pero entre mas lo haces sabrás lo normal que es y quien debe estar en tu vida y quien no
The thing about empathy is that it’s very important to have because it highlights to us why someone is doing something (they’re hurting), and that it’s not because there’s something wrong with us. However, we can retain this empathy while not letting it override our own needs and safety. You can feel empathy towards someone and still stand up for yourself, or distance yourself from them. It’s important to see the human being behind someone’s behavior while also honoring the human being inside yourself. You don’t have to choose.
Being a people pleaser my whole life, and working on my boundaries, I come to her videos for validation and guidance… I’m in my late 40’s… thank you Liz for working on being owner of your life … it’s never too late to heal. I share her videos with the younger generation and am so confident she will help them.
this is what exactly happened to me, my so-called friends used to disrespect me and treat me like trash, and when I confronted them, they always told me that I was overreacting and sometimes they also used to pretend as if I hurt them by confronting them, but when treated them the way they used to treat me, they did not like the taste of their own shit. And in the end, I decided I would rather be alone than have friends who disrespect me and I threw those snakes out of my life. My life now is so peaceful without the two of them. these fake friends and bullies think that they are entitled to treat everyone like trash, but we must know our worth, no one can treat us like shit.
I was always silencing my own voice. I'm angry at myself now because of how many times I was seeking for excuses for people disrespecting me. And I also feel like I'm tired of explaining what the person could possibly do wrong. Like I expect that my friend would not dump on me on a party and it goes without saying that I wouldn't do that. If they dump on me, I don't owe them any explanation. I just need to find people who share my values and are not going to hurt me and then apologise again and again. They DO keep hurting me, always in different ways, and at this point I'm just allowing them to do so. Thanks for the video. People pleasing is an act of self hatred and we all need to start loving and respecting ourselves first.
i love how you always reinforce the point of having and strictly maintaining boundaries with others and i hate it how certain cultures, when you try to have boundaries, people will think that you are being soo disrespectful to them and are being so selfish. it really sucks.
I was just talking to my therapist about my people pleasing validation trait. I come from a culture where girls are always supposed to be considerate, soft spoken, respectful no matter what and to not be assertive. I used to get in trouble in my Nigerian secondary school for being “too outspoken” and it gave me anxiety and made me super demure and trying to make everyone around me feel okay at my own expense. Before this year, I worked in customer service and I was extra nice to customers, even the rude ones. My manager reprimanded me for being to laid back with customers but back then I couldn’t understand why, I wasn’t aware of how bad it was until I started getting harassed by male customers for “sending out wrong signals”. Almost everyone I was nice to took advantage of me somehow and I got so depressed thinking “was I being too much? Or not enough? I just can’t stop being nice what if everyone hates me if I don’t bend over backwards like I usually do?” This really resonated with me 💕
"sometimes you cannot fit into places because you're meant to stand out" hearing this made me realize i never even thought of it that way,, i always used to think i MUST fit in but thankfully i've grown out of it a bit
I remember one time a friend of my crush crush said I liked him as a joke and he said ew. 😢 now the unsent love letter I wrote about him is actually in the shredder. Thank you for showing me my worth. Now whenever I catch myself staring at him or I’m thinking about him I’m gonna ask myself, “what would Liz do?” And do it.
people at my old school would constantly ignore me and then i would confront them and they’d act like it was my fault, make me feel bad. my ‘friend’, i would ask her to hang out, every time she would say ‘i’m cleaning my fish tank’, and she said it so often i was like wow, she really loves her fish and cares for them. but she never had fish.
when i was a little kid i was always praised for being so kind and generous that growing up I would feel bad for not helping others when they were the ones that would not help me when i was the one that needed their help. watching this video i finally realized that i am not a bad person for wanting the same respect that i give to other people and i should stop making excuses for them when i myself is hurting. i really appreciate liz and this community because "small" things like these that we unconsciously do every day are so normalized that we don't even realize it's bad for us. thank you for another great video liz, i am forever grateful to you
"Sometimes you cannot fit into places because you were meant to stand out" 🙌
Deep !
I think it's starting to make sense now to me
I can’t fit into places because I’m morbidly obese
Best quote
@@cheddarsunchipsyes8144work out, change yourself because you love your body, not because u hate it!!
She’s the elder sister I never had, praying to her being protected at all costs this girl is golden
she the mom i never had lol
🙏
i love how aggressive she is in order to make us respect ourselves
tough love
Therapy changed 'your life' but YOU changed 'our lives'! 😭❤
YES to this comment. I couldn’t agree more. ❤
😂😂😂
You change your own life, no one can change YOUR life
@@mirahazim7167omg ur so righttt, she was just the CATALYST/motivator to get us back up and take action. Many people can just sit back, watch her videos, and do nothing. But if you take the action, you’re already getting better and should be so proud of yourself for that 💗💗
I love that she chose to do a sponsorship for accessible therapy rather than some random company that just wants to sell us stuff
Found a scammer in the replies.
This app is a scam actually there is a video about how they people paid money and didn’t even get their therapy time
betterhelp actually really sucks, there’s a lot of videos that talk about it. unfortunately, a lot of creators that i love still support it :c
bro do u even know what betterhelp is.. 💀
woo. same pfp.
"I'm not asking for crazy things , I'm asking for respect, I'm asking to be treated like a human being and if you're unable to do that, you're unable to stay in my life", that got me thinking of what I allowed but don't like in my life...
love that boys are also watching her, not just women! we support you young man
“People will always judge. that’s what people do. just let them and go live your life.”
- People will keep disrespecting you until you get boundaries and are serious about them 5:37
- stop making excuses for people that treat you bad 7:25
- you are not a bad person for having boundaries 9:05
- understand that people don't have the same heart or intentions as you 10:00
- it is a big deal 11:16
- look at how they treat you not what they tell you 12:11
- start asking people why they feel comfortable to ask you/do that to you 13:15
- start asking yourself: am i doing this for me or someone else? 14:00
- it's not your job to help or fix them 15:53
- it's okay if they don't like you 16:58
- see yourself as a luxury 18:07
- practice saying no without too much explanation 19:33
- have time to reconnect to yourself 20:41
- forgive yourself for the times you allowed people to treat you badly 22:02
- practice and baby steps is key 23:41
Thank you for doing this haha please keep it up, I apreciate it too. 💛 It really helps for someone like me who journals/take notes.
Thank you and yess in Jesus name i pray to adopt these powerful mindsets. I'm no longer a people pleaser. I'm a boundary boss. Learning new lessons everyday. One step at a time. Glory to God
God bless you❤
this woman's got a point , she's an icon , she's a legend and she's the moment
Good morning :)
DULA PEEP
Now come on now
Hehe let’s face it
@@margeryojije7862 are you following her advice?
I’ve lost a lot of ‘friendships’ making boundaries such as no disrespect and you can immediately tell who is a real friend or not. I feel more comfortable in a small group of friends than a huge ‘friendly’ group. Peer pressure is real, it is not selfish to put yourself first when it is needed
true asf, bro.
This is so real, I've always been a person with small group of friends because of that I was more of a people pleaser cuz I was afraid I would be left alone, but I cut them off... And it feels liberating now with the people o have in my life now
@@sashasscorner this is my situation right now. My "friend" group started leaving me out and keeping secrets with another friend that I was friends with before them even. I've now cut both of them off. Yesterday, I got texts from that old friend, who KNOWS she's the reason secrets are kept from me and inviting friends without me, and another asking if I was okay because I completely stopped talking about them. As Liz said, actions speak more than words. If they were really concerned, they'd ask me in person how I'm doing everyday, not every 3 weeks. Sorry for the vent lol
@@quarklot gurl if they were concerned they wouldn't have leave you out and kept secrets in the first place
How can I set boundaries with a person we live in the same room I can’t stay with this disrespectful behavior anymore for real
The part about not wanting to answer something and going into a trance and the part about being disrespected and being friends with that person the next day is so relatable. I'd literally get anxious and start spewing and it stemmed from childhood physical and emotional abuse where id get beaten if i didnt answer or give a response my mum didnt like. And getting disrespected was so normal that i thought nothing of disrespect, it was a part of companionship to me. i thought nothing of it.
Ive done so much internal work, that when i start realising the narcissists in my life, i cut them off. The sad part is im standing up for myself more but i still dont have the self esteem yet to make new friends. So its really a battle to have boundaries enough to cut people off when need be and have no friends lined up.
The biggest help was having quiet time with myself, journalling and asking myself why im allowing certain behaviours and being honest with wether these were real friends or just people there to stop me from feeling lonely.
“i would rather feel bad for her than feel bad for myself, and that was my big issue” i needed to hear that wow
Virtual interactions ain't enough i want liz to come over and SCREAM at me saying "you are not a bad person for standing up for yourself and having boundaries" in my ears!!!
You're never a bad person🤍
HELL YEAHHH
This is your sign to stand up for yourself! Do it!
SCREAM at yourself in the mirror !!
If you can’t convince yourself, then no one can
5:39 People will keep disrespecting you until you get boundaries and are serious about them
7:25 Stop making excuses for people that treat you bad
9:05 You are not a bad person for having boundaries
9:59 Understand that people don't have the same heart or intentions as you
11:17 It is a big deal
12:12 Look at how they treat you not what they tell you
13:16 Start asking people why they feel comfortable to ask/do that to you
14:01 Start asking yourself : Am I doing this for me or someone else?
15:53 It's not your job to help or fix them
16:58 It's okay if they don't like you
18:08 See yourself as a luxury
19:34 Practice saying no without too much explanation
20:43 Have time to reconnect to yourself
22:03 Forgive yourself for the times you allowed people to treat you badly
23:42 Practice and baby steps is key
Love youuu
Thank you for this.
6:05 !!! GIRLLL GIRLLLL DONT BE EASY!!!
THANK YOU❤❤❤❤
@Amber Patoc real
The , "If you allow everyone and everybody to come in your life , then what are you.....? Trash collector?" Cracked me up😂❤
strong women don’t have attitudes, we have standards. - marilyn monroe. i feel like i’m always told ‘just put up with it’ ‘don’t have an attitude with them’ and told myself these were rules to follow. no!!! standards do not make u a strict human being. it makes you know your self worth!
My mom doesnt talk english, but she's really the typical people pleaser who got bullied by everyone (her friends, her parents, and her husband (my dad) as well). I decided one day to translate one of your video to her and it help her a lot. Thanks, really, you dont know how much it means to me
She should learn english so she can always watch liz
You're such a sweet person! I'm trying to do the same! But with my little sister cause she's getting bullied by a bunch of people in her school :/
@@Mymoon_laaaaaaaaaadiiieeesss thats so easy to say,but it isnt as easy in reality🥲
You know there are subtitles that translate in all languages on the video ? Just look for your langages in the video settings 😊
Good luck ❤
@@wissalaitmansour9355 nn makiiinch 😭
As an ex people pleaser, as someone who was bullied in primary and high school and had shxt tons of trauma, i literally relate to this video 100% :(
same!!!
Stay stong! I was bullied also. It was really hard and I still have traumas, but I am trying to heal and become better and better everyday. Life at school was so hard. After class at job it also was so hard. I tried to be nice but people literaly treated me like a trash. But now i have friends who loves me, helps me. Life is not easy but still is good. Just stay strong ! Everyting will be okay if you start to change.
Just curious, who exactly is a people pleaser, I'm not native English so I'm not familiar with casual slangs
@@dorutoxd8483 someone who always wants to cater to everyone's needs/happiness without taking their needs/happiness into consideration. they're usually people who are pushovers as well. i hope this helps you understand
@@paula-fz8be tysm!
She has no idea, how many lives she is saving❤️
my life especially
You guys are saving your own lives! 😁
listening this while crying bc i grew up knowing myself as someone labelled too sensitive
Manipulation tactics. I hope you take the time out to know who you are. Theres nothing wrong in valuing yourself and letting people know what you wont accept. I know we never got the chance to exercise that muscle as kids. Once you work on it no one can finesse you into thinking your'e too sensitive or stubborn etc for expressing a need.
Guard up!
,, She doesn't need anger she needs love" Literally made me cry
Same...
YESSS.. I’m not the only one then! 🥺 This is a sign of lacking love as a kid when you were the one always ready with a good heart for others. See, I even understand why this can make us cry.
@@laure9242 woow this is soo true, i completely agree with you!
*As a teen boy I find incredible value in Liz’s content as she helped so so much to channel my authenticity and become SUCH a better and more enthusiastic person. Especially as a youtuber myself authenticity is 🔑*
As a 29 year old guy, she has indeed some very insightful content. Things like bullying, anxiety and self-esteem issues are often associated exclusive to women, while a lot of men also have to deal with it in different ways. So many guys can also learn a lot of her.
Bro I'm glad you're not influenced by those stupid alpha tate something
I can assure u gonna have much better future than those tate fans
Same as a teen boy it is therapy , in my experience men don't support fellow men when they need help and blame "women" for not caring about mental health, in my experience the same men who said women don't care about men , so many men suicide etc while infact those are the same men who are bashing and calling snowflake 🙄 when other fellow ask for help, I wish the day how women support and uplift other women , men also start doing that for healthy environment
@@JustABoy98 guys like you with open eyes are so rare !!
I like Liz too, the video titled "this video will change your life" made me subscribe to her channel. I liked how real and straight to the point she is. However, sometimes she speaks with double standards and attracts toxic feminists especially the other last videos which forced me -and others- to criticise her.
I hope she stays cool and away from such toxicity.
I've told my ex that I didn't wanted to have sex with him this early, like just 15 days into relationship, and he kinda started ignoring me,
Resulting, I left him. If he can't respect my boundaries, I'm leaving.
every time i try to defend myself and defend my boundaires i start to cry. I get so emotional. I don't know how to deal with that.
Learn to not care learn to be only you u don’t need to care abt anyone but yourself. I learned it the hard way❤❤
liz was a hurt girl who helped her self out of the broken , she is a really humble and kind prsn I can see that so clear soo so clear ,she didn't found help or anyone to offer it so she became the prsn she needed when she was younger. I hope I will reach the place she reached .SO PROUD OF U LIZ
AND THIS VIDEO HAS A SPONSER SHE ALLOWED SOMEONE SO SPONSER HER FOR THE FIRST TIME IM SO PROUD
there’s no way u just called her humble…..carry on.
@@edgemaster7610 she’s humble you carry on
@@fly2292 yea even the ppl she collaborated with were in order to help more ppl
@@ITEEZ- explain how💀💀💀
I hate being a people pleaser, someone could do the most horrible thing to me and I’ll still tell people they’re a good person and what they did wasn’t that serious. Even talking about what they did to me makes me feel so guilty. I still have a lot of healing to do since I’m still going through trauma so it’s hard to heal at the same time but I’m still really grateful for the improvement I’ve made over the past years. As a closed person who has a hard time speaking out I’m really grateful for people like you, thank you
U are not responsible for the way others feel. Im so proud of the process u have made
You have to see the situations differently. It's not about is this person good or bad, but his action. Did you get hurt by his action ? Yes, no. Then you say it. It's because you shift the perspective from an external one (related to facts) to internal one, the one that judges the value and nature of the person. This shift makes you judge yourself as well if you say something, that's why you feel guilty. You treat others and yourself with the same perspective that you adopt. That's why you have to learn to not shift of perspective. Stay in actions level, you don't need to deeper and evaluate the level of goodness.
In the action perspective, the fact to say "I didn't like this action" is logical because you think "which action is appropriate regarding the fact that this hurt me?" Action - action.
In the judgmental perspective, you would think "but this person is good deep down" then "I'm a bad person if I say something "rude" to a good person" judgement - judgment, and if there is a good person, there is a bad one. But that's not TRUE.
So, hurting action - protection action. It makes sense, right ?
Estás por buen camino por algo la vida te permitió conocer este canal no dire que gracias a este canal sanarás ya que eres un ser grandioso y lo harás por tu cuenta pero si es gran apoyo los consejos de Liz ella sabe lo que dice
I wouldn't say any of the things you mentioned makes you weak. I don't think assigning the label of "bad" to someone who treated you unfairly is going to make you feel better. Nor will talking to others about the bad stuff they did because that is mostly negative energy that will pull you down. Our self-love will show when we refuse to continue to engage with someone who was inconsiderate of us. I think you're doing very well :)
I think for anyone dealing with stuff like this it’s always important to remember that your brain and emotions are not your enemy. I know being a people pleaser is not an easy thing. You sacrifice a lot of yourself and you sacrifice your own boundaries and even your well being sometimes for it. But at the same time, connection with other people is something that is essential for humans- we are social creatures after all. Instead of hating it and being frustrated with yourself for being this way- remember it’s always good to ask “what about this is still serving me somehow?” I think many people who have people pleasing tendencies are taught (or it is implied to them at least) that they cannot receive love and/ or connection with their family and parents while also being their authentic self at the same time. So we shrink ourselves. We sacrifice our own boundaries for the sake of closeness with others. And then we fall into this same pattern with all of our relationships. Maybe you still struggle with this because you still have that belief? It might be buried deep down and you might not even be consciously aware you still have it, but my guess is that you do. Many people pleasers do and it is why we continue to sacrifice ourselves bc to stop feels as though we will lose all connections with others. Just some food for thought to anyone who reads this
When I first saw you, I thought you must have been that alpha female all your life and people like me are so lucky to be able to listen to you and learn. Now when I actually saw you tell about the same struggles because you have literally been through all that it made my heart swell.❤️ I’ve been hurt all my life for being a people pleaser and empathy is more of my weakness than strength, but looking at you I feel so powered with confidence and the belief that I can change my life for real and not just in the fake scenarios in my head, i hope you see this comment. So much love to you from India! ❤️🇮🇳
she is a sigma😊
Ppl feel so okay to hurt beautiful and successful people because they 1) think all they get in life is applause 2) they can feel better about themselves 3) they think they will not get hurt because of the indeniable value in them
@bhagvi I feel you, pal. You literally wrote out my heart!!
PS. I'm from India too 💝🇮🇳
“she doesn’t need more anger, she needs love” sobbing
she make me feel like i’m taking advice from a successful sister. i don’t think it’s cringy at all. KEEP GOING QUEEN LIZZ
The feeling when you know that liz made a new video is indescribable 😭❤
FRR
FRFR im getting like 10 notifs from other creators and only liz once a few weeks 😭 i am grateful for each of her videos though
Fr
I'm always waiting for her videos too.
@@hajar7801 you have the same name as me :)
"She doesnt need more anger. She needs love"☹️💞💞💞💞
I have faced my bullies after 10 years of leaving school, one was met by accident in a bar. I’ve told her what I think as she thought we are friends, she apologised. The second one who was her cousin, I knew where she works so I went there with my partner just to look into her eyes. Her face dropped when she seen me, she didn’t know what to say, she felt so small and that made me proud of myself for facing that bully. All my feelings of anger and sadness has suddenly disappeared. During my healing journey I’ve tried to understand why they were so horrible to me, but now I’m thinking I actually don’t care what they went through because I was dealing with my own trauma created by them! I have learnt one thing never ever let anyone treat you like sh*t! There’s no excuse whatsoever! Thank you Liz for sharing your experience.
So proud of you!
@@MochiMoo1996 Thank you 😊
“If you just allow anyone and everyone to come in- what are you a trash collector?” 😆 Thank you for another amazing video!
3 minutes in and my heart is broken. I know you don’t want sympathy liz but genuinely I’m so proud of you for where you are despite your struggles. I’ve had a very very similar school & family life. You should be insanely proud of how much of an inspiration you are
Cried listening to her been bullied in school ,college and even by cousins everyone actually.
7:25 I would always try to justify other people's disrespect by blaming their behavior on their trauma but I have trauma too and I would never treat people like how they do. As a former people pleaser I related to this video so much honestly.
"- you are going to listen. If you don't listen you'll get abused"
My struggle with people pleasing in a nutshell. As someone who was abused at school and home, this hits deep. I, too, struggle with people pleasing tendencies and it's nice to know that I am not alone. Love you Liz 💛
indeed
healing from being a people pleaser is such a journey. The moment you think you made progress, something happens and you catch yourself doing it again. But what I understand now is that small progress is still progress. If you weren't aware you wouldn't have noticed and it's just by practicing and little by little learning to know what makes you feel uncomfortable that you can truly heal. Good luck everyone, and thank you Liz!
18:31 I literally gasped, "what are you a trash collector" I got so called out😭
There is so much wisdom in her videos! As a 41 year old woman I wish I had heard this in my teen years!!!😅
I'm only 18 and feel the same way. Just thinking how much less dramatic my early teenage yrs could have been if only I had someone to tell me all these things. It's never too late to learn tho.
@@savage_girl_07 i'm 16 and i feel like it's too late
@@gorjpokeyue trust me it’s not too late
For real as a 28 year old i really wish I heard this sooner
I'm happy I'm 14 tomorrow
I'm only 16 but i went through lots of stuff and i'm trying my hardest to heal from it.Liz changed my mindset and helped me a lot.I always learn from her videos,i am really thankful 💗 (thank you everyone)
You can do it. I know it.
Don't give up no matter what you will do it. I hope you heal from everything and become so happy ❤️❤️ You can do it please don't give up 🤍🤍
We are the same. Though I’m a male, we are the same age and went through a lot. Things will get better from here
I wish I had her when I was 16, I got bullied really badly at home, church, and school.
bro I was also 16 and then I woke up and today I am 18 idk how it happened cause I was also writing in comments that I am 16 but you know we are growing up
Iam a college student and i started sitting boundaries for myself i was sociable person, but after i cut off my toxic friends that i studied with i become really introvert because i started protecting my peace and this the best thing i ever did to myself❤😊
She’s helping so many young girls💗
You saved my life, Liz. Helped me beat anorexia, people pleasing and depression. Thank you
she’s helping me right now with the same ed, i love her
Liz is such a safe space for me... She's healing my soul by being the big sis I never had.. Thank you, Liz ❤️
"dear reader, you don't have to answer, just cause they asked you." i remembered this line in this video. we love u liz, thank u !!
My bestie recommended your channel because she knew that I have low confidence, low self-esteem, self doubt etc. And I am grateful that she recommended your channel because your channel really helped me boost my confidence and self-esteem
Bro she has changed me so much, I've been through so much shit and she always put me back on track. Listening to her trauma makes me feel like my problem are nothing. Whenever I tend to give up on life, I listen to her and she brings me back to life. I love u Liz, and these are not just words!
God Liz this 'see youself as a luxury' advice is so life-changing!! so just a few months ago I was ranting to one of my really close friend about why I am always the one who makes the first move in friendships, why I am always the one who has to introduce herself to people in order to befriend them etc. and she just straight up told me " its because everyone in general likes you, you help everyone and nice to people who dont treat you the same, so you are no special to people" and the day I realised where it was going wrong
This is so true. I’ve cut off friends who treat me like that. I’m done and I deserve better, bc I’m a luxury.
I’m a recovering extreme people pleaser too! It does make you highly insecure because you continuously say no to yourself ultimately leading you down a path that’s not for you. Saying no and asking myself if it’s something I wanna do before I do anything has been life changing.
im a teen girl and i just got out of a toxic friendship with my "best friend" of 3 years. She did exactly what Liz said like say all these beautiful things and write me the most heart felt notes but when I really needed her she was nowhere to be found. I always made excuses because she had bad mental health but I was so done with making excuses and bending over backwards for her and she was getting way too comfortable treating me like shit so I distanced myself from her and set boundaries silently (i was done explaining myself). Immediately I felt her respect for me go up and she no longer does the things she does.
I love you so much Liz I want you to know that you're such a blessing and I thank God that I found you at 16
I also had a toxic friendship with my best friend for three years. These three years have destroyed me so much. Now I have hope again to build myself up …
Big sister is here for motivation 🙌 thanks for guiding us through ❤
Discipline*
i was friends with a girl who was physically, verbally, and mentally abusive to me for almost a decade. i cut her off but i wasted so many years of my life staying her friend because i had no one else. i wish i had heard this when i was going through that, this video is so important and i’m glad you’re talking about this topic ❤️
Good for you. She wasn’t worth it. Learn from it and make better friends x
if only your channel existed 5 years ago i believe you would help me so much. that's like the peak of me being a professional people pleaser. and i'm still healing and still struggling every day but i can say i'm at least a little better than i used to. and it's never too late to discover your content i just want to thank you
someone like me who doesn't has a elder sister , liz is the one! SHE IS HEALING GENERATIONS OF TRAUMA 💗
I can relate to her. Being beautiful, yet struggling my whole life. People not respecting me much. Instead of a people pleaser I was a shy kid. I used to be very shy. Now I finally reached an age (mid twenties) I’m done with all the negativity and struggling during my life. I don’t care about fitting in anymore. Like Liz said I don’t even like them, even now not being that shy anymore. I’d rather respect, love myself and be friendless than something people can walk over. It’s time for me to take my power back and stand out instead. Just like Liz said. I think some people are more meant to stand out 😁 Since It hasn’t been working for us otherwise! We are all special individuals so standing a bit out should be interesting and appreciated. As long as we respect others, why not? Also, people have an impact on us. We better surround ourselves with the most positive people we can. And if we can’t, just know you’re the wiser one and they try to brainwash you you’re the bad one. Don’t go to their level. Know better and love yourself more. ❤
I wish i was beautiful, pretty privilege really is a thing
@@yasmineguerin2852 It is what it is. I just wanna tell you life is complicated. Having one nice quality doesn't cover all the (messy) rest. I still need to fight very hard for myself since I've always struggled with self confidence, despite being "beautiful". Beauty is even in the eye of the beholder. It even depends on people what is attractive. So I hope you look at all your blessings. Being alive is already great by itself. But yeah, life's a battle and we can still make it better for ourselves, ugly or pretty. Have a good day.
@@laure9242 very well said
@@laure9242So true
This was me in the past, I wasn’t living for myself, I was only doing things to please other people and I felt so drained and sad because it was never enough. So don’t ever change who you are for someone else. If they don’t like you they’re welcome to go find what they like and you just keep being your authentic self because you’re awesome just the way you are❤🎉
Exactly ❤❤ Enough people out there who are more like you. Just gotta find them/be patient. 😊
i cannot put into words how much i relate to this. all my life i’d been a people pleaser. always doing what they wanted and being the good friend that’s always there. but i can honestly say that i barely felt love from most of the people i was surrounded by. i was too scared of rejection that i ended up putting myself aside just to keep them okay. in the bottom of my heart i knew that i was doing it all to stay accompanied despite their mistreatment. liz is very wise when she says “trust their actions”… there’s nothing realer than. most people who abuse u will say that they love and adore you, but their actions speak their truth. i’ve had people tell me they love and would do anything for me but still will disrespect me and belittle my feelings. they will always take advantage of our kindness to fill their voids. it’s so tiring getting used to not receiving back all the love we give others, and im done with it. from now on im choosing myself first!! now i am my top priority and only the people that love me in many healthy ways will stay by my side. i matter too!! i am deserving of love and affection, and i am deserving of having people who will love me so purely and beautifully.
thanks a lot for this video liz. you’re always saying what we hide in the depths of our minds. ❤️🩹
i dont need anyone else’s validation to love myself. i am enough, brilliant, and powerful. and only i get to determine who’s worth having in my life.
I'll no longer be a people pleaser. I can say "no" without explanation. I don't need to explain anything. I love boundaries. It protects my energy and keep me safe. Now i know what my body needs and wants. I know how my body works. Been getting to know who am i lately and I've been doing a great job to get to know me. Life is too short to get into unnecessary arguments or please toxic people live your life to the fullest for you only. Live your life without regrets. Do all your missions and when you're finished, please go to heaven and enjoy eternal rewards. We are meant to live a life of greatness in this life. We are meant to have it all and flourish. We are meant to learn lessons and change and upgrade ourselves. Enjoy your time with yourself
Liz is honestly a blessing in all of our lives. If not an angel- definitely a fairy god mother 💖💖
I'm convinced Wizardliz reads my mind, this whole weekend I was sad about a people pleaser attitude I've made this week and now she post this video! It's a sign
Her being an older sister for everyone
This actually reminds me of the times I let them disrespect me. Now that I realize it, I would never do something like that to myself ever again.
To whoever reading this, I am so proud of you for coming here and trying to heal yourself. Healing is a really tiring, long and challenging process but once you heal your traumas and rebuild yourself you will be unstoppable. When it gets hard and I feel like I can’t do it anymore I think, if I don’t turn the pain into power then everything I have been through will be for nothing. I have to do this. I love you and I believe in you. Please don’t give up. It’s gonna be okay. It’s gonna pass, you will be just fine. I love you beautiful, precious soul. ❤
Really needed to hear this. Thank you 💛
liz is such an icon. shes changing people’s lives by these videos I love her💕
I think I'm the oldest follower you have (mid 40's) but you know what, I don't care😂.
For a few weeks I have been following you on UA-cam and it has changed my life already. So many things I recognise, Thank you so much ❤. You're really a blessing to me.
Lots of love from The Netherlands 🇳🇱 ❣️
I am mid 40s as well, and this is my new favorite channel. 😊
@BRR949 happy to hear from you! Never too old to learn😃❤️...
Once you start choosing yourself first you’re going to lose a lot of people who were used to you always pleasing and choosing them first.
This has the best vibes. It feels like were besties at a sleepover having deep conversations and sharing things with each other that we've never done before. 💗
I am so glad I found her at an early age, I just turned 14 and I'm still learning about the world. A small part of me gets inspired whenever I watch any of her videos❤
You are on a right path. Dont waste this time of your life to learn and gather wisdom for you to conquer the world in your 20's. When you reach your 20's focus more on investing and making money. Good luck.
I turn 23 this week and if this is helpful: please, focus on studying and building a future for yourself that is based on being financially stable and emotionally safe. Prioritize only those who show with ACTIONS that they prioritize you as well. Be open only to what you’re able to give to other people. If you’re kind, only prioritize kind people, if you treat people with respect, prioritize and make space in ur life for people who do the same for you, nothing less than that. Stop feeding off propaganda that puts superficial men and famous people above women and daily people that truly make a difference in your life. I could give you many lessons of life, I’m only 23yo, but I’ve seen too much disrespect in my life already and mostly coming from men and people in general who thinks they own the world and can manipulate you. Above anything else just be yourself, do your thing, do good and be good to those who do good and are good to you.
I'm also 15 and learning more about the world ❤
im 14 too and im literally so thankful i found her 💞
I suggest you recommend her videos to your friends too! I hope the new generation of girls will be stronger and beings who can stand up for themselves
i've been a people pleaser my entire life and still am but recently i started removing myself from people and situations that didn't make me feel good. it still feels so selfish but you really helped me being able to rephrase my thoughts. thank you so much liz❤
she is literally taking my anxiety away even tho it’s temporary rn i’m trying to get to the point where i can be fully confident and unwavering and she is helping A LOT ..Bless you Liz ❤️
she’s so fucking gorgeous
My teen self suffered so much bc I was always an extreme people pleaser. I went thru so much shit bcz of that, stayed with wrong people then got betrayed// now I'm 20 and I still struggle a lot for these past traumas but her videos help me so much. I'm so glad I found her because it's really life changing. Thank you liz❤
I hope you heal from all these traumas ❤ Please don't give up you can do it ❤️❤️
The fact that those same people who bullied you are probably nowhere in life and u are here makes me so happy!And they are watching you successfull and happy, what a revenge:)
I just feel like people are gonna deserspect me no matter what I don't see what I'm doing wrong
this woman truly saved me. liz, if youre reading this, thank you so much. you helped me realize my true worth and you made me learn so much
I am so energy sensitive and grew up in abuse as well. Thank you Liz for opening my eyes to realize.. I am not alone
I think another good thing to think about is "Would this person people please for me?" Usually the answer is no.
I had a bad start this year at school. I didn't have many friends and I don't know why they wouldn't talk to me. I am also a people pleaser and shy. I also didn't like how they would make fun of me "The people in my class" and how they would hit me as a joke. It is supposed to be a joke but I didn't like it. I am just mad at myself for not standing up for my self and doing nothing. I hope I have a good school year and thank u liz I really appreciate it.
@@mokkar-se1zl :)
LIZ IS BACK! I look forward to watching your videos. You have literally helped me claw my way out of anxiety and depression. Your videos are a motivation to people like me who think we cannot be understood and don't feel heard. But you? You hear us, you have been where we are right now and I take your advice very seriously. May God bless you with all the health and happiness in the world, beautiful. I love you.
Today I broke up with my boy friend and I have never felt better.
I love her. She is the mother!
This video is so helpful , I've been a people pleaser since growing up and got treated like shit from my parents and ofc I got bullied and I've never learned to stand for myself , I used to do everything to be likable and to just fit in this video changed my while point of view in life thank you 💞
This video brought up memories, I used to get disrespected and literally bullied back in basic and middle school, I had no friends back then because basically nobody wanted to talk with me. I was that Introverted and indecisive kid.
I also used to get bullied and disrespected out of school, in the neighborhood, it was an absolute hell for me. Especially that I lost my friend that year. so I was somewhat lonely. At some point I started working out at home, I started growing muscles and learn to stand up for myself because there was nobody thet to do it for me. At 8th grade my classmates started respecting me, I had their respect forcefully, and in high school nobody tried to mess with me physically.
My advice for anyone who get bullied: if you don't stand up for yourself, nobody will.
ive always used to stood up for myself but instead people pushed me ten times even harder down the drain for doing so ...... horrible times of my life , really broke me apart
@@uroojfatima7318 you had to be physically strong, putting up a weak fight can only entertain them but being strong enough to hurt them is what needed to be done. Coincidentally i saw a tweet of Andrew Tate a few days ago saying that he used to get bullied in school bus, when he finally stood up for himself he had to hit one of the bullies with something sharp that caused him to bleed and since then they never messed with him. If he did anything less than what he did, they would have bullied him even worse than before.
Anyway glad those days are over for you.
@@amrowski man idk if you should glorify Andrew Tate here , he's a pretty shit man to use as an example here but the thing is I did only put up a physical fight despite me being a girl, I used to hit boys back but they did ten times worse and people didn't listen to me cuz "boys will be boys" it doesn't matter how much you fight back, strong will always oppress the weak :(
@@uroojfatima7318 I'm not glorifying him, i just used his story in the bus for example and motivation. PS i only read that story few days ago so it's kinda related to this subject. Also why is he a shit man? Liz said things about men worse than what Andrew said about women. Is she a shit woman too?
Anyway, like I said putting up a fight with bullies isn't enough, I mean a fist fight isn't enough, especially when there are many bullies. Damaging one terribly enough will put the others in place X)
@@amrowski Liz just pointed out bad things about men, also mentioning what she meant by that video calling men out was not directed at all men, Andrew Tate has done worse things to women and said worse things , saying that women don't have good mental capacity to be in a certain job, or that women should be held accountable for rape and that men cheating on their wives is an exercise , and keeps calling women by the word bitch, he doesn't even know basic Respect, liz just pointed out the shit men have started to do , she didn't say hurt men or use them or anything like that, the broke guys thing was about not dating a guy who wouldn't give you his best , not that leave him if he's not rich but about him not putting any effort , and I think she also mentioned in other videos to help your partner if he's trying his best, I can give a perfect example of what kind of guys she was referring to about broke guys who want to be treated like a princess, and only want the girlfriend to put all the effort , my dad is kinda that guy, he's lazy doesn't want to do any job and wants my mum to work only which has made him totally messed up and he was like exactly the kind of guy Liz mentioned in her video , and other point I agree with a lot of stuff Andrew says but I don't like the person itself who says those things, I agree with the ideology to make men masculine again but not the person who's saying it cuz he's done and said worse things
Omg I've been wanting Liz to make a video on how to set boundaries with people so badly and here it is! I struggle with this so much as a people-pleaser because I always think that if I set clear boundaries, I will hurt the other person's feelings, so I end up prioritizing their comfort over mine. Would love a part 2 and even 3 to this video honestly!
Y como Liz dijo cuesta al principio poner límites simplemente decir No a algo porque no me siento cómoda con eso y no es malo es genuinamente normal y simple pero no practicamos poner límites es difícil pero entre mas lo haces sabrás lo normal que es y quien debe estar en tu vida y quien no
i started tearing up from her story and then she starts talking about her sponsor better help HJSJBDEBG
The thing about empathy is that it’s very important to have because it highlights to us why someone is doing something (they’re hurting), and that it’s not because there’s something wrong with us. However, we can retain this empathy while not letting it override our own needs and safety. You can feel empathy towards someone and still stand up for yourself, or distance yourself from them. It’s important to see the human being behind someone’s behavior while also honoring the human being inside yourself. You don’t have to choose.
Being a people pleaser my whole life, and working on my boundaries, I come to her videos for validation and guidance… I’m in my late 40’s… thank you Liz for working on being owner of your life … it’s never too late to heal. I share her videos with the younger generation and am so confident she will help them.
this is what exactly happened to me, my so-called friends used to disrespect me and treat me like trash, and when I confronted them, they always told me that I was overreacting and sometimes they also used to pretend as if I hurt them by confronting them, but when treated them the way they used to treat me, they did not like the taste of their own shit. And in the end, I decided I would rather be alone than have friends who disrespect me and I threw those snakes out of my life. My life now is so peaceful without the two of them. these fake friends and bullies think that they are entitled to treat everyone like trash, but we must know our worth, no one can treat us like shit.
I was always silencing my own voice. I'm angry at myself now because of how many times I was seeking for excuses for people disrespecting me. And I also feel like I'm tired of explaining what the person could possibly do wrong. Like I expect that my friend would not dump on me on a party and it goes without saying that I wouldn't do that. If they dump on me, I don't owe them any explanation. I just need to find people who share my values and are not going to hurt me and then apologise again and again. They DO keep hurting me, always in different ways, and at this point I'm just allowing them to do so.
Thanks for the video. People pleasing is an act of self hatred and we all need to start loving and respecting ourselves first.
i love how you always reinforce the point of having and strictly maintaining boundaries with others and i hate it how certain cultures, when you try to have boundaries, people will think that you are being soo disrespectful to them and are being so selfish. it really sucks.
I was just talking to my therapist about my people pleasing validation trait. I come from a culture where girls are always supposed to be considerate, soft spoken, respectful no matter what and to not be assertive. I used to get in trouble in my Nigerian secondary school for being “too outspoken” and it gave me anxiety and made me super demure and trying to make everyone around me feel okay at my own expense.
Before this year, I worked in customer service and I was extra nice to customers, even the rude ones. My manager reprimanded me for being to laid back with customers but back then I couldn’t understand why, I wasn’t aware of how bad it was until I started getting harassed by male customers for “sending out wrong signals”. Almost everyone I was nice to took advantage of me somehow and I got so depressed thinking “was I being too much? Or not enough? I just can’t stop being nice what if everyone hates me if I don’t bend over backwards like I usually do?”
This really resonated with me 💕
'' what are you? a trash collector?''' loved that😭
Cracked me up 😭
"sometimes you cannot fit into places because you're meant to stand out" hearing this made me realize i never even thought of it that way,, i always used to think i MUST fit in but thankfully i've grown out of it a bit
"She (inner child of yourself) doesn't need more anger, she needs love." That touched deep inside of my heart. Thank u Liz, love u 💕
As a former people pleaser , this video is legit ❤️
I remember one time a friend of my crush crush said I liked him as a joke and he said ew. 😢 now the unsent love letter I wrote about him is actually in the shredder. Thank you for showing me my worth. Now whenever I catch myself staring at him or I’m thinking about him I’m gonna ask myself, “what would Liz do?” And do it.
people at my old school would constantly ignore me and then i would confront them and they’d act like it was my fault, make me feel bad. my ‘friend’, i would ask her to hang out, every time she would say ‘i’m cleaning my fish tank’, and she said it so often i was like wow, she really loves her fish and cares for them. but she never had fish.
I listen to this while getting ready instead of music
when i was a little kid i was always praised for being so kind and generous that growing up I would feel bad for not helping others when they were the ones that would not help me when i was the one that needed their help. watching this video i finally realized that i am not a bad person for wanting the same respect that i give to other people and i should stop making excuses for them when i myself is hurting. i really appreciate liz and this community because "small" things like these that we unconsciously do every day are so normalized that we don't even realize it's bad for us. thank you for another great video liz, i am forever grateful to you