IMPORTANT CLARIFICATION/CORRECTIONS: I want to preface this by saying that I don’t think the entirety of the self-help industry is bad - and as some of you have rightly pointed out, not all the fault should be given to the industry itself, consumers of the industry need to take accountability for their actions as well. Self-help has benefited me greatly, but only when I approached it from a place of not using self-help as a “quick fix” for motivation and happiness -this video was intended to look at various traps that people can fall into if they use this industry in the wrong way, which I had been doing previously. I realise now that there must be a BALANCE - both your consumption and action must have a symbiotic relationship, and a combination of both can make self-help something that could prove to be genuinely useful. So with that in mind, see this video as a look into the aspects of self-help that have been taken and misused by both the producers and the consumers of the industry, but not a hit piece on the self-help industry as a whole. Hope this clarifies things! 🙏 Edit #1: Also, when I say “my first year in college” in this video I am referring to sixth form (US equivalent of grades 11/12) - we sometimes call this “college” in the UK. Edit #2: I was harsh when including clips of Gary Vaynerchuk in this video! - Although I didn't mention him by name specifically, I did imply that he was somehow a negative influence of the "self-help" community. Gary V is actually very outspoken against certain aspects of the self-help industry that I've referenced to in this video, and he is a legitimate entrepreneur who profits mostly from his media company, not from self-help. By no stretch of the imagination should he be pegged in the same category as "guru's" like Grant Cardone - this was definitely a mistake on my part. Edit #3: I recommended Echarte Tolle's "The Power of Now" book at the end of this video. I want to emphasise that whilst I enjoy this book for its philosophy on mindfulness, and bringing awareness to your thoughts, I do belive that are many elements of the book that are "woo-woo" and pseudoscience. Bare that in mind if you ever purchase his book.
Gotta say that is kind of... A self consumption problem. Of course there s people selling self help. There's always someone who is going to benefit from everything (fitness, education, love, travel, art, food, etc). Is more about how you deal with that. Think that for example about Garyvee. The guy says literally that if you're happy, don't hustle, and that if you hustle is the wrong thing, you're not going to be successful, etc. The problem is that nobody teaches us how to consume that kind of content or how to deal with that. Of course there are bad ones, but IMO is about one self.
But, gotta say it's a great video. I know a lot of people who would find it helpful. Keep going, great work! (The internet guru video was also fine AF)
"both your consumption and action must have a symbiotic relationship, and a combination of both can make self-help something that could prove to be genuinely useful." - this I agree with 100%
My career just derailed because I took a job in one of these environments. If you want to read psychologists take on it, the term they use is blind optimism
@poor man's rose Toxic positivity is much more specific to me. The term really only can concievably apply to the context of this video in my mind (motivation and life decisions), as well as maybe a little to do with political decision making. "How are you" is just small talk to me
Now I know why I didn't like it when someone compliment me because I know the truth is I'm not really good at 'this'. She always said this is 'good'. Sometimes I need a criticism not a compliment. The old me traps in this toxic positivity and made me no progress.
@@yasminas.3562 Yeah! Self help companies don’t actually want you to get better and improve. Because if you do, you wont need their products (books, kits, seminars, podcasts, classes, etc). And If you don’t need these products, then you wont spend time/money on them. Therefore you are no longer a source of profit for the industry. So the saying goes “A Patient healed is a customer lost.” Because if you(the “patient”) is improving(“healed”) in your behaviors and life, then you no longer need to spend money on self help products (“a customer lost”) I hope I explained it ok!
@@inkdragon3455 hmmm seems similar to harmful beauty products that make your symptoms worse or do literally nothing, causing you to buy even more products and try many different ones. also, placebo effect. especially when the people advertising and praising them, do not have a single mark in their face, no scars and look like a perfect doll. in reality though, its make up, photo manipulation afterwards and a mass of camera equipment (and surgery on top of it.. lol)
My father always says “If working hard was to make anyone rich, construction workers would be the richest men in the world” Edit: You really think the world consists of the 1st world country where you lay your comfortable asses at? People working at construction are suffering all around the world, stop saying “they make good money” etc. They work under minimum wage and even worse, there is still slavery in the world, did you know that?
Bahar Dan "Hard work alone doesn't protect your downside" Work smart, not hard. Being able to out hustle your rivals and life comes with being able to navigate yourself into certain positions.
The “working hard” message has become one of the most toxic for me. Because if you do something and it doesn’t work, it’s clearly not because it just doesn’t work for you, it means you just don’t work hard enough. Eventually you start to question your worth and it can go to a very unhealthy spiral. Realizing that I just need to figure out how things work for me has become one of the most important things in my life so far.
Not only is it bad for what you have mentioned. But working 80-hour weeks takes you away from the most important people in your life, your family and friends. It's a really horrible message that is being spread.
work hard on your mind and body (good nutrition and regular exercise), and I guarantee you won't "question your worth and...go into a very unhealthy spiral". the idea that material things can bring us happiness ahead of our own physical and mental health shows how messed up people's worlds can become.
Somehow I never bought into this idea from self-help books or motivational speakers or even school or general culture... but when it came up directly from family, friends, and church, that's where it got into me, and to this day I still struggle with overworking myself. I think the worst part is that I don't approach it with the belief that only hard work will earn money, but the guilt that I would feel for working less than other people do - if other people work 50 hours a week to get their money, what right do I have to work less than that for myself? I prefer the "work smarter, not harder" approach, but then at some point I start blurring the lines between that and laziness and end up pushing myself into burnout. -.-
@@starrystarrynight52 I do agree that you need to work hard all the time if you want to achieve things. I don't agree with the gurus' regard what kind of work you're doing. You have to actively work to be the best family and friend. Working 80 hours a week for money does not equate to being a better person is what pisses me off about the gurus.
My grandpa told me one thing that sticks with me to this day: "Always chase that next horizon, but don't stare directly into the sun." This means that, while you should strive for self improvement, do not lose yourself doing so. Stay true to who you are, even if everyone doesn't like you for it.
After consuming 3 years of self improvement I got understanding of this: i don't need 100 gurus, i need 1 guru, i don't need 100 books, i need 1 book, i have to take 100 actions, from that 1 book.
Yes. Same here! BUT to get to this very easy and seems to be simple understanding buddy, you needed to read those books and you needed to hear out the 100 gurus... that is why people do not get
I find the great answer is, simply, get off one's butt and do something. Anything, really. As much as you can. During the pandemic, I got really bored and started to paint some watercolors. Which led to acrylics. Nowadays, in addition to my job, I'm a semi-pro artist. Not that everything needs to lead to being a pro. You can just like and enjoy doing it. Dyeing your own clothes? Great. Whatever.
Through many experiences I can say hard work is not at all important for success. If that were true I would have completely failed everything in school. xl
@@l_m_a_o_ how far did you make it in school ? also if you like school topics and like to learn in general you may not realise you're "working" in some way because it's fun
There's a saying here that roughly translates to "work makes a man shine" (as opposed to laziness). I dislike that statement. Results make a man shine. Anyone is capable of working, that does not mean that you're doing anything worthwhile. Work is the unfortunate side effect of getting results and should me minimised.
I am a minor in the IB diploma program at my school and let me tell you that HL English and the IAs are not fun I don't like learning unless it's music theory (´-﹏-`；) School basically just teaches you how to suck up to people and make crap look good as if it deserves an award I'm still surprised I was chosen to get the scholarship I wanted I mean sure you have to work but not hard you have to work fast and efficient at the highest quality humanly possible cramming everything into a 24hr day including work I'm that student who hates work (but you have to do it) and knows how toxic some of the "good kids" in the leadership and student council actually are for some people life can be pretty hard there are times when people retake courses in summer because they ONLY got a %96.2 I still haven't fixed my habit of procrastinating . . .
You can learn something from this books, as the all have same core - you just have to filter out the bullshit usally the takeaways are: * Sleep long enough * Eat healthy * Lift weights * Define your goals and work on them and that's it. If you do this things you will be way better off than before, but you have to act on it.
It's so comforting to see finally people have started talking about this toxic hustle culture, fake motivation, worthless motivational gurus, false self help & all.
those people are there to sell book and made you to had gym membership and end up with student loan and made your head ful with shit.while sometime it is better just doing nothing and be happy since we all died at the end... look at 1 million death people form cov19... those people dont expect to died but they did...
yeah it is super rare to have someone pointed out this fake motivational scheme (except David Goggins) and fake hustle culture b.s I know deep down there was not something quite right about it before.
Now, all those called “gurus” will start saying this and this will again hook us.. I dont see anything wrong if someone tells you the truth whether he is self-help guru or not. As this video stated this is becoming addiction. Like everything else in life too much of it is not good
Not sure what fake motivation means ...if you have a guy telling you to get up off your ass and it motivates you to do so then it's serves it's purpose ...sometimes that's all people need is a little nudge...i love those motivational videos here o. UA-cam telling me I'm a beast . Telling me the world is mine for the taking...It really does motivate you to have a go at it and we all know you can't succeed until you try but you can fail by not trying at all
It took me being hospitalized, diagnosed Lyme disease, and shutting down the doors to my business to realize that I had been ignoring the "negative thoughts" and just needed to think more positively. In reality I was deeply trying to communicate with myself that I was unbearably unhappy doing what I was doing. I worked myself right into the ground at 29 and nearly lost everything. I think one of the main reasons that my body became susceptible to sickness is that I had drained the life out of it and was physically and emotionally exhausted. 18 months later and I'm still learning this difficult lesson. Self help obfuscates the work that needs to be done internally and makes it feel like you are doing inner work. That you are changing. You are not changing you are just becoming someone that you will recognize less and less.
Like watching a promenade of celebrities walking the red carpet....in dresses made by someone else., and never knowing the names of the designers.....Self-help books are the same, they put together info created by someone else, but spelled in a different way.
So true bro so many people think they are getting ahead with this “success culture” but in fact they cannot take any action whatsoever. People are great at hiding behind this culture on the media smh
@Ethan Tran and as we've seen in history it doesn't work. What's stop someone stronger than you to steal you? Cops? They don't get paid. So do they get more food for protection? Sort of taxes with food? You think in this era in a western country everyone would become good farmers? Money isn't valuable it's a piece of paper, but we give it value. Humans would find something to give value too other than money.. gold maybe?
"Say no to Motion and say yes to Action." Indeed, I've heard this from other mentors as well. We can do things that feels like a progress but it wasn't. Like reading books, listening to podcast, watching educational videos is also a form of procrastination, because instead of putting your knowledge into action you get stuck doing these stuff. Very DANGEROUS and not everyone is aware of this.
I feel the same right now. You find a succesful self-help channel and you'll see they put out content almost consistently but there's only so much you can do to your lifestyle. Then you realise most this content is just the same or a bullshit new habit you'd have to implement every week. Getting unpluged is the anwser. If you have too much information you don't know what to do anymore. The paradox
@@borealis5379 Yes, fear develops also because these FAKE GURUS online makes you feel that there's so much you don't know, and that affects your decision making or making progress. The best way to overcome this is stop listening to your doubt and fear, give it a try and don't be afraid to fail.
I'm reading "The Body Keeps the Score" and "Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience" simultaneously right now, i.e. interleaving chapters from the different books, (also previewed "Healing The Shame That Binds You" as well as "The H-Factor of Personality") and they are each all quite different and very good in their own way. Maybe what a person need to do is be given a good reading list covering a breadth of subjects (and the suggested books being well-acclaimed, and best in their subjects), rather than relying on the Amazon recommendation algorithm (cause that is just going to recommend more of the same content, and those books may be sub-par). The Amazon ratings system can also be subjected to being gamed (or represent some sort of bias), so people relying on sheer number of reviews and number of stars should consider that those metrics alone may be misleading.
Yeah. You don't need magic to see what's wrong in your life and how to improve... Most of these books cover things very shallow instead of adopting psychology etc..
I call it wantrepreneurship. People who want to read about things instead of doing them. I only needed 1 book: Rich Dad Poor Dad. Everything from that point was just trial and error and getting my hands dirty. You get rich by doing things. Spend as little as you can and generate as much as you can. And when you have a nice little USD hoard, convert it into real estate, precious metals and ammo-- things that keep their value. Then keep it going: more income than expenditure. Just plus and minus. It takes years, goals, a vision, strategic prowess, dedication, adaptability and grit. And, tbh, many people will never be able to do what I did. I've had to accept that not everyone is smart, imaginative, driven or strong-willed. If anyone was ever gullible enough to become a wantrepreneur, they very likely don't have what it takes to run a profitable business.
Spot on. When I saw authors quoting themselves, or starting off with 'I was a loser like you', that when the illusion was broken. The narcissism was sickening.
Whenever I felt unmotivated I used to watch these motivational videos on UA-cam where they say “you gotta be the hardest working person in the room and if you aren’t, someone else will be” and I felt really motivated…for like 15 minutes and in those 15 minutes all I did was make a schedule. The rest of the day I daydreamed about how great my life would be if I become the hardest working person in the room. That’s it. Nothing really happened. I was back at procrastinating the next day, now with a crippling sense of incompetence.
There's no point on doing self development if you didn't take actions, even if its a bit. The reason we read a book is to get a good points from it and use it for our life. Its useless if we didnt take actions for what we have learned! You can start doing something by using the 20 second rule. For example, you want to exercise in the morning but you are very lazy, even though the weather is great. What you need to do now is tell your body to do the thing only for 20 second, and then you can relax if you want. Start by wearing shoes, open the door, get out and close the door. You can open the door back if you dont want to. "but it is worth it? I already put on my shoes and the weather is great! I should just go and walk a bit..." Once you did something that push you towards the action you wanted to do although you totally dont want to do them, you will eventually do the action and somehow motivated to do them. Hope this helps :)
Actually it's more like this: "Value your time, don't waste it. Be Productive, don't just get to know the advice and think you accomplished something, you need to actually get up and get moving"
Actually yes, for example, I learnt prgramming and investing but you have to be fresh to make both, so I always take care to sleep enough. You just have to make realistic goals, that it takes time to reach them. I advanced my carrer a little bit, but since I know my long term goal, I worry less and take also more time for family, friends and sports. Unfortunately the harder you try, the less it will work, so yeah, enjoy more your time
@@skojoy7074 i dont know anything about that deities stuff, but Taoism is a great path to acceptance of the world around you. Which in turn helps you to feel better about anything and everything. But hey, the Tao that can be spoken is not the true Tao (ch.1, tao te ching), so go figure it out yourself. :)
@@fckinethanol There's a lot more to it than that. A perfect stoic doesn't feel like a normal person. Because they have accepted everything in sich a light, they tend to become apathetic and lose relations with those close to them. They won't feel sad about the ordeal, but just sort of exist within it. Stoicism gets dangerous, so use it in moderation.
My father once said something to me that I think was the single most valuable piece of advice I have ever been given. We where moving, my dad had a MBA and he had a ton of books he would read back during his MBA degree (Rich Dad Poor Dad, A random walk down wallstreet, Only the paranoid survive, etc, and a bunch of case studys) I remember him not allowing those books to be brought to my new house after I requested them. As for why, he said to me, and I will always remember this moment "Joey, you are young. Looking back all these years, these books have done nothing but killed my creativity, it gives you a mindset, it gives you a frame of doing something, it makes you think there is no other way to achieve something, it keeps you thinking inside the box. The more you read these self help books, the more you feel the need for knowledge, the constant thought that you dont know something, and that by the grace of god, knowing it will change your life. Thats wrong, you already know everything you need, you learn by doing, not using that same time and hunching over some book. Sure some of these books are good for you (Rich Dad Poor Dad) they help change your mindset, but too much of anything is not good, and in the case of self help books, its exactly the case.
So your dad wants you to spend years making the mistakes that people spent 10k years learning how not to make and writing them down. Bumbling through life without a mindset is not honorable, it’s naïveté
I am 32 years old. I've been trying to reach my "perfect" self by reaching mental, physical and spiritual "perfection" for the last ten years. It has consumed almost every aspect of my life and has left me feeling worthless most of the time. Last night, I had a mental breakdown because the stress of trying to eat perfectly, work out every day for two hours, read a book, "grind" for money at work, and try to be a perfect christian finally broke me. I've decided to take a step back and let go of this poisonous mindset that is killing me. I want to enjoy my life without feeling guilty anymore. I want to sit down and play Fallout New Vegas for a week and not beat myself up because I'm not "grinding." I'm done with this. I'll never reach perfection or that balance I want in life. And from what I've seen, no one else does either. We're all human and we all have flaws.
We will never be nor could ever achieve perfection in any part of our lives. Sounds like you discovered that in doing so more stress and disappointment in ourselves is created than what we are seeking. Interestingly God set it up that we find most joy and satisfaction focusing on and helping others than ourselves. Even in doing this our focus can shift back on the wrong thing to being perfect in helping others. Only Jesus is perfect. When you get a lot older like me you’ll learn to embrace the imperfections in ourselves and others (or maybe you’re learning this early!). This is why He told us in our weakness He is strong - we don’t have to be the ones who are strong all the time (what a relief!). And He has never expected you to be perfect in life or as a Christian. Otherwise we wouldn’t need Him and the gospel is useless. That’s one thing the world gets so wrong - Christians are not called to be perfect and God doesn’t expect it, which is why we’re in a constant state of needing Him, even in the good times and not just the bad. Boy I wish I had learned all of this at your age!!! Bless you in your journey - because this is a journey not a destination.
What he said at 8:47 made me realize that unhappy people like myself are like a dying cancer patient desperately trying to find the best doctor in town, only to then waste more money on different types of treatments and pills, but never resolving the root cause. Sure, they may take away the pain temporarily and give us a sense of progress, but eventually, our wallets run empty and we're left with nothing except complete hopelessness. What a dark world we live in...
Ikr i hate seeing ladies saying woman empowerment woo woo then you will see them judging other lady on what her skin is and body. Im sick of that kind of posts even the celeb in my country doing this thats why its so hard to not get heard of it
So true. People will often give impossible goals to themselves. Please journal before you do. Write down why you want it. You want to earn more? You are struggling to pay rent? Then this is good goal for you. But if you have 20k USD at your bank account, which is growing with every pay check, and you don't know what to buy, more money won't make you more happy. When I got a raise, I was happy for 20 min. Then I decided to buy my friends drinks to celebrate. And that was the best thing about my raise. So yeah, going out with my friends made me more happy than 15% raise. I didn't want to brag about money, I'm not rich by most standards. I wanted to show how you can have goals which aren't important to you. Think about them. Want to read more? Well try to read single book. Don't start some 30 books challenge. Don't buy $200 eink reader. Want to become fit? Try few activities which could help and pick the most fun one. Don't start following fitness blogger, and his (probably fake) routine. Your diet is bad? Try to find one healthy meal, you like (trust me, heathy food can be tasty), and try to eat it once a week. You can add more fruits. You can stop buying soft drinks. Don't become raw food vegan.
@@MrR0FL0LMA0MG So so true and tbh I'm very guilty of this as well. I always used to aim and focus on the end result which made the journey FEEL impossible and extremely overwhelming to the point where i'd constantly procrastinate because I'd expect myself to do a million things in one day and then i'd beat myself up in the end for not getting anything done which is a dangerous game to play... Whilst I believe that the 'Grind' mentality is partially to blame for that way of thinking. I also think people can see in themselves how much potential they truly have and so they get this misguided idea on how this 'potential' should translate into their performance and so they feel like they can take on the world when realistically you have to take on one country at a time before the world is yours.
"Absorb what is useful, discard what is not, add what is uniquely your own" - Bruce Lee There's a truth in this video. There's really a scam in the the self-help community. But, I think if you just utilize self-help in moderation and focus on the action then it won't do you no harm. And assess if something suits you, if it's not then don't follow through it. Don't become obsess with "self-help" but with your actual development.
Problem is people don't know how to develop "in a vacuum". To improve, you have to replace bad habits with good habits, and you can't replace something you know with something you don't know (which is the issue with so much personal development stagnation, and repeating of old bad things). If only any big system created a moral guide of figuring all that out...oh...wait...
Hands down the best video so far ! Key lessons I took away: - Don't allow yourself to consume more material than you take action on - Working hard and working smart is the key to the two-piece puzzle. - Observe your thoughts and habits objectively - Never BS yourself. ( Echart Tolle) - Focus on what your task/business needs right now. Ignore the fluff. (Action Faking) - You're underrated af
Awesome stuff bro. Really poingnant. Question if i may ask. I chose sobriety 4 years ago out of a religious experience. Thinga have been tough because i still feel the void inside. I am my worst judge and have avoided fake action but i have become an emotional junkie. Should i focus on work and gratitude including the BAD times? I have some business ideas that solve problems, it scares me to think they could work.
His story is the exact same as mine. But it’s not a two piece puzzle there are many variables you might not be aware of. I think the quote success is in the details stays true. A lot of the times people call successful people lucky, but when you look into the details you can see why they are where they are. It just take time to build those skills to analyze things and see past the bull shayt.
@@JCM-LedZeppelin-Stories Focus on loving yourself first. It sounds like you're giving yourself a hard time for not reaching your goals. It's ok to not be where you wanted to be because you're the only one who pictures yourself there. Maybe just scale back or set smaller achievable ones. There's no set age or time of success. If you're healthy both mentally and physically you can focus on going forward.
Yeah, this is pretty top notch all around. I cannot imagine how many hours were spent on the back end with the editing, audio - like, I hope to fuck this person is enjoying themselves. I'd rather chew broken glass than work on vlogs and videos all day.
Michael [Kel] Monroe editing is fun, maybe not for you. He’ll be enjoying himself when he’s pulling in $300k / year and only putting out one vid per month which will be in the very near future. Go chew your glass
You really changed my perspective on self-help and self-improvement. For years, I've been trying to become the greatest version of myself, but I still felt empty. We spend so much of time consuming, and less time taking action. Thank you for sharing your perspective through means of this video. You're going to help people escape this facade. 🙌
When growing up I tried to figure out what the next step is, what are we supposed to do. I figured it's "become a producer more than a consumer", and "get into real estate" :'P
The worst thing about self help guidance is that there is no tangible product at the end. If you say to a 'guru' 'that didn't work for me', they will just tell you that you didn't work hard enough
Yes. This is one of the shaming and blaming tactics overly utilized that keeps one thinking they are the problem and therefore unable to see that the system that delivers that kind of narrative is meant to keep you ensnared in its endless looping of self-denial and self deprecation. That's the real shame right there!
"Sleeping eight hours a day? that's a third of your life!" I don't like this simplistic way of looking at things. It is not a third of your life wasted. You are still breathing, still experiencing being a human being. Still dreaming. Sleeping is a sacred time, and it is necessary for your brain, heart, and soul to be firing on all cylinders. But hey, these days many people listen to the hissing noise of the imaginary abyss and are too disoriented to comprehend the sacredness of nature
So much physical and mental repair happens when you sleep. Lose but a couple of days of sleep and you'll soon find your mental faculties diminished and your physical body under stress. Sleep is about the most proactive thing that we do, not the least! A twenty minute power nap after work can restore my tired and anxious mind like no amount of caffeine. Sleep is brilliant! On top of that dreams are awesome... I swear I've had so many adventures in my dreams. I've flown to the stars, danced with the planets and conquered worlds.
completely agree with you. i have fibromyalgia/ME which means that even after 8 hours sleep i would wake up as if i never slept. i also noticed that lack of sleep or quality would trigger anxiety during the day. however, sleep is essential for managing chronic pain. not sure if anti-depressants are considered part of this new wave of organic self help, but since starting them i finally experience REM sleep which never was the case. i dream up until i wake up. sleeping feels like a genuine rest. the idea of resting less than 7/8 hours, as i did before my diagnosis, seems like sabotage. this is coming from a former toxic-perfectionist (which ultimately led to my burn out in the first place).
@@elatrasi2684 My mom also suffers with Fibromyalgia. During a bad flair up no amount of sleep will refresh her. It's a physically and mentally exhausting condition. We should never take good quality sleep for granted, once the ability to sleep well is taken from us it does not take long for the mind and body to suffer.
Alison Of The Shire sending your mom so much strength and well wishes. fibro has completely changed my life (slows and strips you down to the bare basics), and the invisible nature of this disability makes it even more challenging and misunderstood. flare ups can last a while, so it’s important to know the triggers (including lack of quality sleep) and be self forgiving and kind. you and your mom are not alone in this battle. God bless 🖤
Am I correct when I say that the message of this video is: do what works for you and actually do it instead of just consuming information about what you wanna do. And work smart not hard, just because it's works for most people doesn't mean it works for you. In summary: stay on your own path/journey, be patient, wise, strong & natural. Is that correct?
I agree and disagree the same time - working hard, eating healthy and training, education and development is never wrong. However it’s no guarantee for success - BUT doing the opposite is a guarantee for failure.
Yeah, there's no way u can go wrong in improving ur health But however much better u can get physically, mental health goes hand-in-hand It's important to work on both and become a truly good person so that in the end, you are happy with yourself Not everyone needs "success" to be happy... but being successful at being happy, is another story tho lol
you missed the whole point of the video. The question is, after reading and doing everything do you actually get to implement it or you keep on seeking more self help?
@@melmel7011 I think the OP is coming from a position of “self improvement for the sake of self improvement”, not “self improvement because a guru told me to”
That is not what this video is saying, it says you don't need self-help gurus to say these. Everyone ll not be successful, it is ok to quit and move on instead of chasing illusions & wasting money & time.
I beg to differ that this is self help video in disguise because this is the truth and someone has got to tell this. He has simply attempted to show the real nature of the self help 'sector'.
there is a huge difference between self-help and self-discovery. The first pushes you to compare yourself to others, while the second makes you embrace your uniqueness and your "imperfections"
Exactly. Self-help videos are there to motivate you and it depends on you to really help yourself. If you don't do productive things after being motivated then you're not really helping yourself. If you really do want to help yourself, you can without any self help stuff or maybe what you thought was "enough is enough" maybe wasnt just "enough" to make you change or do something about your life.
Self Made man is a myth of our century, an illusion that feeds egocentrism and solitude. We must learn how to live with others and share, instead becoming lonely super burned out individuals.
Spot on. Each day when I wake up, I experience a small doze of existential crisis, then the fear of missing-out and lastly that the universe owns me (you fill the blank).
"Self Made man is a myth" Yes. Check out the documentary "The Lottery of Birth". When I hear "Nobody gave me nothing. I had to work for what I got, " I say, "Uh-huh, you decided to be born into the middle class in the richest country in the world, with no birth defects, etc."
Thank you for exposing the world that we live in today. From your video, I've found words to express myself and thank you for bringing in the the new term ''toxic positivity'' we need to speak on that more.
This video is so depressing and so necessary at the same time. It's unbelievably difficult to get on that point in life to realize all of this things told in this video. It's very helpful for many of today's strugglers
Jesus Christ is alive and wants a relationship with you. God sent his only Begotten Son, that whosoever believed in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. Life as a Christian is hard but you will receive Blessings from God that will change your life completely, you will feel at peace in the Lord Presence. The devil will do everything he can to disrupt your peace but he will fail but Jesus is mightier then He is. Please if you haven’t accepted him as your personal Lord and Saviour, I hope you make the right decision for yourself. He died for us on the Cross for our sins so we wouldn’t have to face God’s wrath. He took it all in that Cross. He died for people knowing they might never love him back. He’s real. I and many people have felt his Spirit of love and peace and many have seen dreams of heaven and hell and many people are in hell suffering. People who reject Jesus Christ automatically live for satan and hell for eternity is not a joke. God doesn’t want this on us at all. Don’t be scared, make the right decision and accept Jesus Christ. He doesn’t condemn anyone of their sins, he wants us to repent, meaning confessing our sins to Jesus and to try with everything to turn away from them. Blessings 🙏🏾❤️✝️
Absolutely agree, both new age industry and self improvement industry are pretty much scam based. You cannot proove right or wrong on energy healing or self improvement. In both cases it's power of suggestion that you buy not the result you hope for.
Self improvement is real, cope harder with your miserable life. You can literally see it as the more the times goes, but I don't expect some loser to go through it fully.
Most of them get a lot but only when they are rich, and it really depends on what their job is. With that being said to get to the place that they are in the process takes so many hours and consumes you to the point where you barely get sleep. But after then they are golden. Usually.
@liczba pojedyncza try to listen at 0.75 speed or even 0.50, as I often apply that. also look: Justinian Deception - The Name, as we were made into slaves, the whole world. ppl are busy now liberating themselves from the system, the mail etc. But there are certain law rules we need to know!
@@Maya79800 I noticed, the best thing to do is to practice non-attachement. To the negative and the positive things. I remember a friend telling me on the best feeling he ever had - He popped an E before a going to a football game, and he just wept because he knew he will never experience such a feeling again. On the other hand one could be grateful instead for having been allowed to experience it in the first place.
This year is when I realized that nothing has changed. Also, you are my favorite UA-camr. This video was me. my gosh. Waking up at 2am. Running on 4 hours of sleep. Because I am creating a better version of myself. I isolated myself from 'losers', read a shit ton of books, personal development videos, working out, eating right, living on a schedule. Man it makes no sense me saying it all because you laid it all out in this video. Just like your LOA videos, its me. You are quality over quantity. I even quit my job back in 2019, to "be my own boss" following many of this self help bullshit. The second worst decision ever. I am so happy I finally caught sense. It may take me awhile to build up a momentum. But now I have the sense to leave these things behind and start my life a new, from scratch. My LOA/spiritual/metaphysical/pseudoscience journey lasted from 2009 - June 2023, 14 painful disappointing, heartbreaking, failure years. My self help journey lasted from 2017-2022, 5 years of burn out, being busy but achieving nothing. I also use to think what hard work(80+ hours) is Elon Musk talking about when he has a team/staff/employees working for him. Grant Cardone, Dan Lok, Dan Pena, Gary Vee, Tony Robbins. It was always something about these guys that seemed off to me. I saw them more as marketers than people who actually wanted to help. I was watching a Dan Pena seminar on YT a few years ago when he dropped the bomb that Napoleon Hill was a con man and failed businessman. Fact check and it was true. The only person I turn on from time to time and listen to is David Goggins... but I dont get caught up in following him or anyone else anymore. To conclude, thank you for another amazing video. There is nothing like personal experience.
I hope that you've been doing a lot better ever since you came to that realization man, I'm sure that life ahead of you will be filled with good fortunes and happier moments :) Good luck in everything that you do and/or will be doing in life !
I feel like what sets Goggins from the rest is that you can be 100% certain that he practices what he preaches lol. He's a useful ideal to keep in mind, whenever I feel like giving up.
Wait so u’re saying u’ve been doing ALL of this and being disciplined and all only for you to literally fail aint no way u did all of that and it didn’t work out. what exactly did u do?
Goggins is just as bad as those tbh. He just does works out rather than working. Also I wouldn't put Elon in the same category as those other guys. He just seems like a nerd who works so much because he likes it and it stimulates his mind. Certainly doesn't have an ego about what he does. And he will have no problem playing some video games, eating pizza and even smoking some weed lol. Those other guys are probably so uptight they wouldn't even consider doing such things.
Self-improvement is to the point with me where I find myself hyper analyzing every little thing I do. I’m always thinking about what I could’ve done or said better to improve instead of just living.
Yes and the problem I find with always thinking of what you could have done better is that I never consider anything I do to be good enough. You just can’t win.
this is exactly what broke me some years ago. I became so addicted to become better and better every moment of my life, that it turned a well balanced life to falling into a deep downside-spiral of depression. literally, all of my goals were met and exceeded. but i was unhappier than hardly ever before. Ignore the Voices telling you what to do, what to think and what to feel. just experience your own world and do you. period 🙏🏼
Marissa Lopes because they were never his goals to begin with. Just like me when I struggled heavily with insecurity and depression from being bullied. You’re in a highly vulnerable state and any source of help that seems genuine but often not ,you’re attracted to so you chase this illusion that if you accomplish said thing you’ll be happy even though in the end you won’t. It’s similar to the concept of people who chase money for life and develop affluence but you notice quite often when you cut off friends, family, and all the experiences of being young you realize you have your money but you’re all alone with this illusion of societal acceptance.the things that really make you happy are just things that mean something to you. It’s like rapping or acting most people desire to become either one because it’s attractive in society and because of the immensity of social media perpetuating this illusion it’s easy to become apart of the simulation. I love cars, designs, creating things and science but social media when I was vulnerable made me believe I wanted to be a rapper ,an icon or even a gangster but I really never had these desires. So I conformed to this for at least 4 years thinking yeh this will make me happy but I was still depressed until I went to parallel school and was detached from my influences and was forced to reflect and realize none of these things meant anything to me. And after intense pain because of realization I worked towards what I wanted and now I’ve accomplished so much personally like improved grades, losing 90 lbs, developing confidence going to university in fall and helping improve my mothers life by helping her lose 140lbs.and these all mean something to me that I wouldn’t trade for anything. But the thing about social media is in their eyes 👀 and I’ve even told some past friends that to them these accomplishment mean nothing because the majority of society is fed to desire something else they think they want.
I also acknowledge contextually ,based upon inferences one can assume I’m young so it likely affects your perception of me being able to do these things but I’ll leave that up to you to believe or disregard and yes I realize the irony of my speech possibly relating to traps explained in this video and there’s no reason for me to further explain because it will just repeat with more questions and debates about my genuineness.
@@euphoria7434 So true. You can easily add goals like "earn more money" and "finish this online curse". And then you learn that money won't bring happiness and that things you learn were not worth it.
Power of Now is an amazing book! One of my favorites. Most people tend to suggest things like "Rich Dad, Poor Dad" which I feel like is just a piece of sales material. It has a lot of good concepts, but the overall intention is not to help, but to addict the reader to the consumption of self help.
@petrhorak3268 You really need to have an experience of 'awakening' to know what it's truly like though. Just telling someone to be here now isn't gunna do much in most cases. I remember reading that book at 19 years old and it completely changed my life. I had been meditating and reading about spirituality and what not but I didn't truly experience that state until I read that book.
THIS!! It's just so disgusting how we are constantly being told to "work hard for your dreams" to "never give up" on them, to "find a job that you like" so you can be "happy". "Work every waking hour" they say. Because if we aren't working all the time, we are being "unproductive" and "lazy". Every hour spent not working is an hour wasted. Time that you could've spent bettering yourself or "getting closer to that dream of yours". Because we've been convinced that the only way to be successful is to make a lot of money, be famous, etc. When in reality, the success that we've always been looking for has been right inside of us all along. The dreams that we've been chasing and the work we've been constantly doing, have been the distraction all along.
@@jjrhwy3376 haha, yeah I know, the western society is designed as such, everything is build on it, but no one needs to work for more than 4-5 hours a day, you could go anywhere, any community, work that much, and be done with it. people are capable of anything tho, if you need to work 80 hours a work one could, but fuck that, not for me, ye we have a self-proof society, not a self-love society you could say
“Toxic positivity” and “hustle culture” these are genuine issues. My friend the other day was suggesting I could improve my life if I get up at 5:30am even though he knows I work night shift…. Really think about that
That which doesn't kill you makes you stronger? Nooo, that which does n't kill you can and will destroy you if you are weak do not learn and, allow it to. "Walter D Robinson"
I am from a developing country so very new to many of the ideas of self help. I was wondering about the new hype taking over me as I got exposed to the world of self help. I felt the sense of losing control unaware of the other side of the subject. Thank you for the enlightenment!
“ I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, 'Where's the self-help section?' She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.” - George Carlin
@@miriamllamas224 At first, I thought, why is she laughing emoji?? However, now I laff as I find it funny. As much as their comment is meaningful, it also sounds like a joke. Hehe
I never understood the “don’t sleep 8 hours a day it’s too much” hustle mentality. You need at LEAST 8 hours of sleep to stay healthy and keep your mind sharp. Especially when you are a teen going into your 20s
I'm sick of the attitude that you have to get up at 5am to get things done. If you did that you would have to be in bed by 9pm. It's about working smarter not harder and for longer.
EXACTLY!! What's the point especially keeping in mind the fact that not getting enough sleep can affect you in so many ways including your productivity.
The problem of self-help is reading thinking reading a book is taking action, listening to a podcast is taking action or attending a seminar is taking action. All people need is discipline not more motivation.
They don't teach discipline in the schools anymore. They medicalize the problem and over medicate it or hoodwink children into thinking they need to be coddled with "safe space" all the time. When the boomers and the Gen xeriscape die out, GenZ won't be able to stand in their shoes and society will crumble. We've raised a totally helpless generation that can never grow up.
This is powerful. “It’s okay to not be okay” something that many don’t understand, we are not meant to be happy and positive 24/7 it’s an unrealistic and counterproductive goal
Toxic Positivity makes people deppresed because people thought they must be happy and positive all the time regardless of your condition. Its okay to feel sad and dissapointed were all humans
Do we really believe that? Or has it become another corporate slogan, an empty platitude we give lip service to? My observation is that it's really "It's ok not to be ok so long as your workplace, relational and economic functionalities work just the same, and you don't burden me with any extra work for you to be ok again"
i never truly like the saying, “you only lose when you quit” because you can also lose when you don’t quit. It’s necessary sometimes especially if it’s holding you back or if it’s not good for you mentally or physically.
yup, it's like this self-delusion regarding addiction, believing that , "oh i can quit anytime" when in reality you're really so deep into the hole that you actually can't climb out of it just like that.
It’s such a weird statement because I can think of a lot of things I should have quit sooner but instead the whole “ you should finish things” kept me stuck in something I wasn’t going to finish, and neither did I want to finish it. I think it’s smart to know when to quit and then quit fast.
So true. I have actually wasted a lot both career wise and relationship wise to be too stubborn. Of course you should not give up. But sometimes you need to look at the summary. Is it not short and long term giving you enough back emotionally and financially you sometimes just need to call it quits.
At age 22 I was homeless, addicted to various substances, and broke. At age 29, and after years of diving deep into "self help" and coupled with professional counseling, I now have a stable job with a very healthy salary, live in a wonderful community, and I'm married to the most amazing person to ever enter my life. Let me clarify one important thing: SELF HELP DOES NOT EQUAL POSITIVITY You gotta be able to decide which speakers, books, podcasts ACTUALLY encourage growth vs. just blind optimism. And MOST importantly, you need to actually IMPLEMENT your new knowledge every day. At the end of the day, you're going to be your biggest hero or your worst enemy, and learning how to improve various aspects of your mindset, health, and life is going to provide you with the best chance at attaining your goals.
You and James have articulated your points so eloquently. I can also attest to the power of a positive mind and attitude, as it has helped me make a BIG dream come true recently, against all odds! 🥰 That said, I also notice that it is being used now to prevent people from questioning some stuff that are scammy and others who dare to say something are brushed off as not having the right mindset. I think the MLM industry have taken advantage of this as well as fake gurus. We need to practice due diligence to make sure that we don’t just turn into consumers but actually use this as a tool to help us navigate our lives.
@@swiggityswo9558 I design fire alarm systems for commercial buildings. It's a very niche career and I genuinely enjoy the strategy involved with it, but I got started through trade school; I have an Associates in Computer Aided Design (and some certifications). After aggressively pursuing opportunities and making connections I was able to work with a few different companies doing architectural drafting, structural drawings, mostly very basic stuff at first, and eventually I was able to narrow my focus professionally. Eventually, opportunity aligned with my preparation and I got offered a very rewarding position at my current employer. My advice is to not focus on what specifically you think will be profitable. Rather, find a general field where you know you'll be rewarded for hustling and growing and simply START. Trust the process, do the right things, and everything will fall into place.
watching self help videos has always been stressful and made me anxious but watching this videos was so relaxing , I don't know what my future beholds but all I can say is these self help books and movies made me a weak minded person and let me fall into OCD ( Obsessive Compulsive Disorder ) for all thee stuffs as I kept on reading things after thing , and its future that I have lost my passion . This video should go viral .
As an adult I realize the 'hustle' to be accomplished is damaging. There is a limited amount of energy/ attention you have a day, the schedules and devotion these self help books require is usually unsustainable. Your self development will happen naturally as you experience life. Just take it easy and enjoy yourself. Life is short.
When I put my two weeks in, my manager said, “if I had money problems I would be working my ass off”. Ok, YOU can but I have goals in my life than working inhumane hours weekly just for pity pay that goes straight to bills, and now I’m hanging by a thread. I’m not going to “work my ass off” for an amount of pay that ain’t worth it even with time and a half included.
I was addicted for more than a year. It lead to me losing friends, feeling even lonelier and always having the recurring thought that I'm still not doing enough. I finally had time for myself during this quarantine and I reached the same conclusion. Thanks for putting it all into a video, more people need to see this
Yes, there should be a group for recovering self-help addicts like AA. Self-help is worse than drugs - you lose friends etc. with drugs you have at lease some friends..
Iambadatchoosingnames seems like it often tells you to cut out friends in your life that don’t bring value or want the best for you. Also if they aren’t going anywhere or very ambitious. There’s that saying “show me your friends and I’ll show you your future”
I too was in this _"loop"_ once. Discovered something so mindblowing I thought now anything becomes possible. To a certain degree this was even true! And I was hooked and truly committed for the first time in my life. Cause I could also *see* the undeniable progress. ' *But...* all good things must come to an end inevitably, as it seems. I saw the wall, the line, the thing, the _"challenge"_ that was just too high, too wide, too hard, too strong, too indominable - to overcome. ' From hero back to zero. So quickly... so suddenly. And you know what? Despair. Disappointment. Doom. ' All of this... *DID NOT CAME!* It was fun. The ride was worth the experience. And the mental progress I made did not vanish either. ' Kind of a shame I could not reach *literal GODHOOD* as I wanted but hey... I guess on this chessboard I have to find happyness as a chesspiece. A pity. Truly a pity. :) Looks like I will just continue to game my brains out and live shamelessly as a mortal until the end. Such a shame though. The world would have liked me as it's god I think.
@@QueenLaCheefa Because in the vast majority of cases you won't go anywhere if you don't do anything or if you're like everyone else and not work harder to have a plus value you just won't go anywhere.
Doing therapy (both individual and group) since 2022 has helped me more than any self-help book or meditation or yoga I had done before. I think nothing can substitute therapy, but of course not everyone can afford it, and it takes some effort to find a good therapist. I am lucky enough to live in Germany where my health insurance pays for it. I think sometimes even a few sessions can be extremely helpful and eye-opening. My development is still in progress, and it will be maybe for the rest of my life, but it is ok. For me personally also Elaine Aron's book about highly sensitive people helped a lot to accept myself as I am. It guided me a to a self-helf group that is honest, supportive and lacks any fakeness and toxic positivity bullshit. So it can be also a good option. 🙂 Thank you for this video, your channel is really great and I got hooked on it now during a difficult period of my life. Keep it up!
Being aware of the problem is the first step to finding a solution. Also, I think "Smart Work" is the secret to success rather than "Hard Work". Thank you for bringing attention to these topics!!
Amen....totally agree!!! Taking time to reflect on our work helps us adjust our course and to the nuances of our journey. Working hard keeps us on the hamster wheel. It's BS. We need to focus on working smart and then work hard when it's the smart thing to do!!!!
I Would Say That Action Faking Has a Simple Solution "Just Do It And Take Action." This Is As Simple As That. I Never Do Like This That James Said. This Is Certainly Foolish THat You Need To Apply The Stuff
Nobody I know can define either of those and spout them like they can. So here is a definition of both: Hard Work: the expense of energy, maximized to accomplish a task. Smart Work: the expense of energy, optimized to accomplish a task. You decide which one is better.
im a guitarist cum an artist..but im not THAT GOOD at both..my dream is to be a guitarist but i live in india..im 24 i have no job whatever..my parents compare me to my frnds..cuz they have jobs and they are earning money..being an artist or guitarist is hard..they dont encourage my my dreams and always call me delusional to go for my dreams cuz im too old..all those hard work and originality i put on my art is never appreciated by anybody..it was all a waste of energy time and money..my father would help me get a job but not a single good guitar teacher for..and yes im self taught at both..what should i do..someone plz help..
the self-help industry has led me to the point where i thought relaxing and having time for yourself is procrastination. i always felt so guilty for not doing something "productive" even tho i have been sudying most of the time. i have also started to have symptoms of neurosis. thank you self-help industry :)
You have to know the difference of relaxing and wasting time. I used to spent whole days watching mindless tv, while knowing i need to move towards my goals.
I've been there fuck every content and don't get to much influence of anything and everything is about balance and they all say go all in and it doesn't work that way i learned it hard way
I'm so sick of you people throwing around quotes like they actually do something. It does not make you look smarter and it does not help anyone here. The whole comment section is full of it. Yuck!
“It is okay, to not be okay. The actual meaningful things, are created through struggle”, I like this sentence since it really encapsulates what the self help industry is often overlooking. Often when we look back upon our lives, we realize that the most difficult times were times of tremendous growth. Changing and growing isn’t easy, it requires hardship
Thank you, that's all I can say. Thank you so much. I've been there, and you put it in words that I struggled to find. I encourage you to keep doing what you're doing!
This is by far the most enlightening video I've ever come across. I've been such a consumer of motivation spending abt 4hours daily listening and following somany Gurus. Bt this video just freaked me out I didn't even realise what I've been doing all along. Thank you somuch you have changed a soul all the way in South Africa.
Another issue I have with the self-help industry is that it's not very neurodivergent informed. I am autistic with ADHD and trying to follow the advice intended for neurotypical people was especially disheartening when I couldn't follow through
This mentality is especially hardcore in slavic countries. There are generations of people there who don't know how to rest and every attempt at it brings guilt. Even if they work 3 jobs already.
My father worked hard. Now he has diabetes and had heart surgery and high bp. My mother worked hard, she has migraines and leg pain. I worked hard, and under lot of pressure, I feel sick and tired and all the time. It's time to stop working hard. Work as much as you can. But not as much as you Physically harm yourself.
everyone needs a break,. then what is the purpose of sleep,. have you ever heard of somebody's heart taking a break for a couple of days, my uncle been breathing for 79 years and he aint take a break yet, do ants take a break
who do you think pushes that propaganda? large companies with low wage workers (Amazon, Mckesson, FedEx, any form of factory work) can push a “healthy and fulfilling” mindset to get the most effort from these poor people for a couple bucks above minimum wage.
@@JamesJani he is talking that you need to develop more because this is stage when ure bitter of self development, when u accept it and move on and start grinding on your purpose you will understand 😁
IMPORTANT CLARIFICATION/CORRECTIONS:
I want to preface this by saying that I don’t think the entirety of the self-help industry is bad - and as some of you have rightly pointed out, not all the fault should be given to the industry itself, consumers of the industry need to take accountability for their actions as well.
Self-help has benefited me greatly, but only when I approached it from a place of not using self-help as a “quick fix” for motivation and happiness -this video was intended to look at various traps that people can fall into if they use this industry in the wrong way, which I had been doing previously.
I realise now that there must be a BALANCE - both your consumption and action must have a symbiotic relationship, and a combination of both can make self-help something that could prove to be genuinely useful.
So with that in mind, see this video as a look into the aspects of self-help that have been taken and misused by both the producers and the consumers of the industry, but not a hit piece on the self-help industry as a whole.
Hope this clarifies things!
🙏
Edit #1: Also, when I say “my first year in college” in this video I am referring to sixth form (US equivalent of grades 11/12) - we sometimes call this “college” in the UK.
Edit #2: I was harsh when including clips of Gary Vaynerchuk in this video! - Although I didn't mention him by name specifically, I did imply that he was somehow a negative influence of the "self-help" community. Gary V is actually very outspoken against certain aspects of the self-help industry that I've referenced to in this video, and he is a legitimate entrepreneur who profits mostly from his media company, not from self-help. By no stretch of the imagination should he be pegged in the same category as "guru's" like Grant Cardone - this was definitely a mistake on my part.
Edit #3: I recommended Echarte Tolle's "The Power of Now" book at the end of this video. I want to emphasise that whilst I enjoy this book for its philosophy on mindfulness, and bringing awareness to your thoughts, I do belive that are many elements of the book that are "woo-woo" and pseudoscience. Bare that in mind if you ever purchase his book.
Gotta say that is kind of... A self consumption problem. Of course there s people selling self help. There's always someone who is going to benefit from everything (fitness, education, love, travel, art, food, etc).
Is more about how you deal with that.
Think that for example about Garyvee. The guy says literally that if you're happy, don't hustle, and that if you hustle is the wrong thing, you're not going to be successful, etc.
The problem is that nobody teaches us how to consume that kind of content or how to deal with that.
Of course there are bad ones, but IMO is about one self.
But, gotta say it's a great video. I know a lot of people who would find it helpful.
Keep going, great work!
(The internet guru video was also fine AF)
"both your consumption and action must have a symbiotic relationship, and a combination of both can make self-help something that could prove to be genuinely useful." - this I agree with 100%
Can you plz do one on 'law of attraction' ? That would be crazzyy lol
It’s in the ideas book 😉
Toxic positivity is a huge one that in culture globally, people have now ended up shaming others for being *real* rather than _“positive”_ .
I think progressive politics has a lot to do with that too. Positivity is becoming like the new religion.
My career just derailed because I took a job in one of these environments. If you want to read psychologists take on it, the term they use is blind optimism
@poor man's rose Toxic positivity is much more specific to me. The term really only can concievably apply to the context of this video in my mind (motivation and life decisions), as well as maybe a little to do with political decision making.
"How are you" is just small talk to me
Now I know why I didn't like it when someone compliment me because I know the truth is I'm not really good at 'this'. She always said this is 'good'. Sometimes I need a criticism not a compliment. The old me traps in this toxic positivity and made me no progress.
I always see these people who keep posting positivity on their social medias are toxic people
“A patient healed is a customer lost.”
This is the mindset of the self care industry.
can u explain the mindset?
@@yasminas.3562 Yeah!
Self help companies don’t actually want you to get better and improve. Because if you do, you wont need their products (books, kits, seminars, podcasts, classes, etc). And If you don’t need these products, then you wont spend time/money on them. Therefore you are no longer a source of profit for the industry.
So the saying goes “A Patient healed is a customer lost.” Because if you(the “patient”) is improving(“healed”) in your behaviors and life, then you no longer need to spend money on self help products (“a customer lost”)
I hope I explained it ok!
Just stab them then they'll be in the hospital longer
@@inkdragon3455 I understand, thanks!
@@inkdragon3455 hmmm seems similar to harmful beauty products that make your symptoms worse or do literally nothing, causing you to buy even more products and try many different ones. also, placebo effect.
especially when the people advertising and praising them, do not have a single mark in their face, no scars and look like a perfect doll. in reality though, its make up, photo manipulation afterwards and a mass of camera equipment (and surgery on top of it.. lol)
My father always says “If working hard was to make anyone rich, construction workers would be the richest men in the world”
Edit: You really think the world consists of the 1st world country where you lay your comfortable asses at? People working at construction are suffering all around the world, stop saying “they make good money” etc. They work under minimum wage and even worse, there is still slavery in the world, did you know that?
Holy shit I love that
Bahar Dan "Hard work alone doesn't protect your downside"
Work smart, not hard. Being able to out hustle your rivals and life comes with being able to navigate yourself into certain positions.
Amazing
I always tell my friends same
Wow
WOW THAT IS A POWERFUL STATEMENT !!!!!!
"If truth Kills them ,let them die"
Thank you Sir for this enlightenting video
The biggest issue with self-help is it tend to make people believe they have issues that they really don't have.
Well said
👍👍👍👌👌
On point.
Couldn’t agree more. Such a great point. After several years dominated by self help im just starting to realise this
That is also my conclusion.
The “working hard” message has become one of the most toxic for me. Because if you do something and it doesn’t work, it’s clearly not because it just doesn’t work for you, it means you just don’t work hard enough. Eventually you start to question your worth and it can go to a very unhealthy spiral. Realizing that I just need to figure out how things work for me has become one of the most important things in my life so far.
Not only is it bad for what you have mentioned. But working 80-hour weeks takes you away from the most important people in your life, your family and friends. It's a really horrible message that is being spread.
work hard on your mind and body (good nutrition and regular exercise), and I guarantee you won't "question your worth and...go into a very unhealthy spiral". the idea that material things can bring us happiness ahead of our own physical and mental health shows how messed up people's worlds can become.
Somehow I never bought into this idea from self-help books or motivational speakers or even school or general culture... but when it came up directly from family, friends, and church, that's where it got into me, and to this day I still struggle with overworking myself. I think the worst part is that I don't approach it with the belief that only hard work will earn money, but the guilt that I would feel for working less than other people do - if other people work 50 hours a week to get their money, what right do I have to work less than that for myself? I prefer the "work smarter, not harder" approach, but then at some point I start blurring the lines between that and laziness and end up pushing myself into burnout. -.-
I also have multiple chronic illnesses and chronic fatigue, so fill in the blanks there. :P
@@starrystarrynight52 I do agree that you need to work hard all the time if you want to achieve things. I don't agree with the gurus' regard what kind of work you're doing. You have to actively work to be the best family and friend. Working 80 hours a week for money does not equate to being a better person is what pisses me off about the gurus.
My grandpa told me one thing that sticks with me to this day:
"Always chase that next horizon, but don't stare directly into the sun." This means that, while you should strive for self improvement, do not lose yourself doing so. Stay true to who you are, even if everyone doesn't like you for it.
Is that a quote from a book your granpa read or something? Because it's really good
your grandpa coined it so you can tag his name after the quote lul
your grandpa is a smart man
I would have guessed it meant «do step by step and not getting caught up in only looking at the end goal» Great saying!
But being a modern day diogenes will get you arrested for some reason and then institutionalized
After consuming 3 years of self improvement I got understanding of this: i don't need 100 gurus, i need 1 guru, i don't need 100 books, i need 1 book, i have to take 100 actions, from that 1 book.
Yes. Same here! BUT to get to this very easy and seems to be simple understanding buddy, you needed to read those books and you needed to hear out the 100 gurus... that is why people do not get
The Bible😁
@@rockmanalathe bible seems more about guilt tripping and worshipping, rather than personal development.
@@fraxizztv6433 And inconsistent at that. Plus, am I allowed shrimp or not, the great eternal question.
I find the great answer is, simply, get off one's butt and do something. Anything, really. As much as you can. During the pandemic, I got really bored and started to paint some watercolors. Which led to acrylics. Nowadays, in addition to my job, I'm a semi-pro artist.
Not that everything needs to lead to being a pro. You can just like and enjoy doing it. Dyeing your own clothes? Great. Whatever.
i wish more people said “hard work is important for success” rather than “hard work is KEY to success”
Through many experiences I can say hard work is not at all important for success. If that were true I would have completely failed everything in school. xl
@@l_m_a_o_ how far did you make it in school ? also if you like school topics and like to learn in general you may not realise you're "working" in some way because it's fun
There's a saying here that roughly translates to "work makes a man shine" (as opposed to laziness). I dislike that statement. Results make a man shine. Anyone is capable of working, that does not mean that you're doing anything worthwhile. Work is the unfortunate side effect of getting results and should me minimised.
@@LessSuspect Couldn't aggree more, but these "gurus" suggest that if you not work 100+ hours/week you are norhing and will achieve nothing.
I am a minor in the IB diploma program at my school and let
me tell you that HL English and the IAs are not fun I don't like learning unless it's music theory (´-﹏-`；)
School basically just teaches you how to suck up to people and make crap look good as if it deserves an award
I'm still surprised I was chosen to get the scholarship I wanted
I mean sure you have to work but not hard you have to work fast and efficient at the highest quality humanly possible cramming everything into a 24hr day including work
I'm that student who hates work (but you have to do it) and knows how toxic some of the "good kids" in the leadership and student council actually are for some people life can be pretty hard there are times when people retake courses in summer because they ONLY got a %96.2
I still haven't fixed my habit of procrastinating . . .
"If you want self help why would you read a book written by somebody else? That's not self help, that's help." Thanks George.
@maliziza1 r u questioning the great, late, George Carlin?!
@maliziza1 Unfortunately, you're response is invalid. Please try again.
@maliziza1 I am**
You can learn something from this books, as the all have same core - you just have to filter out the bullshit usally the takeaways are:
* Sleep long enough
* Eat healthy
* Lift weights
* Define your goals and work on them
and that's it.
If you do this things you will be way better off than before, but you have to act on it.
@maliziza1 Self help is when YOU change your lifestyle to help yourself. Taking advice from someone else is just plain old help.
It's so comforting to see finally people have started talking about this toxic hustle culture, fake motivation, worthless motivational gurus, false self help & all.
those people are there to sell book and made you to had gym membership and end up with student loan and made your head ful with shit.while sometime it is better just doing nothing and be happy since we all died at the end... look at 1 million death people form cov19... those people dont expect to died but they did...
yeah it is super rare to have someone pointed out this fake motivational scheme (except David Goggins) and fake hustle culture b.s I know deep down there was not something quite right about it before.
Now, all those called “gurus” will start saying this and this will again hook us.. I dont see anything wrong if someone tells you the truth whether he is self-help guru or not. As this video stated this is becoming addiction. Like everything else in life too much of it is not good
Make no mistake about it. This is all fueled by stupidity
Not sure what fake motivation means ...if you have a guy telling you to get up off your ass and it motivates you to do so then it's serves it's purpose ...sometimes that's all people need is a little nudge...i love those motivational videos here o. UA-cam telling me I'm a beast . Telling me the world is mine for the taking...It really does motivate you to have a go at it and we all know you can't succeed until you try but you can fail by not trying at all
It took me being hospitalized, diagnosed Lyme disease, and shutting down the doors to my business to realize that I had been ignoring the "negative thoughts" and just needed to think more positively. In reality I was deeply trying to communicate with myself that I was unbearably unhappy doing what I was doing. I worked myself right into the ground at 29 and nearly lost everything. I think one of the main reasons that my body became susceptible to sickness is that I had drained the life out of it and was physically and emotionally exhausted. 18 months later and I'm still learning this difficult lesson. Self help obfuscates the work that needs to be done internally and makes it feel like you are doing inner work. That you are changing. You are not changing you are just becoming someone that you will recognize less and less.
This really resonates with me! Thank you for sharing!
Good luck man
If you can't function--then it can't work. What about the other facets of your life? I guess that you must manage those together.
lyme disease ?
*Reading self-help books can be in itself a form of procrastination.*
My exact thoughts after a few years of reading book after book - not taking action.
Definitelly.
Like watching a promenade of celebrities walking the red carpet....in dresses made by someone else., and never knowing the names of the designers.....Self-help books are the same, they put together info created by someone else, but spelled in a different way.
Yeeep
So true bro so many people think they are getting ahead with this “success culture” but in fact they cannot take any action whatsoever. People are great at hiding behind this culture on the media smh
"the business of selling hope" is going to grow exponentially during this global crisis, great video! Thank you!
The irony, the fact this video has ads on it from the business
Roage's material is free and it works.
💯
@Ethan Tran and as we've seen in history it doesn't work. What's stop someone stronger than you to steal you? Cops? They don't get paid. So do they get more food for protection? Sort of taxes with food? You think in this era in a western country everyone would become good farmers? Money isn't valuable it's a piece of paper, but we give it value. Humans would find something to give value too other than money.. gold maybe?
Gibran Sanchez hope sells and everyones buying
Advice from my father: "How you get good at something isn't what you do when you're motivated, it's how you persevere when you aren't."
Give our regards to your father hats off for respect
This. Grit is what gets you through the hardships and allows you to succeed.
damn, are you winning tho?
A bow of respect for him
That's actually a really good piece of self help advice.
"Say no to Motion and say yes to Action." Indeed, I've heard this from other mentors as well. We can do things that feels like a progress but it wasn't. Like reading books, listening to podcast, watching educational videos is also a form of procrastination, because instead of putting your knowledge into action you get stuck doing these stuff. Very DANGEROUS and not everyone is aware of this.
Well said!!
Thank you!@@mepikapika
Nothing wrong with procrastinating it is fucking human. STFU and stop thinking you know fuck all about other humans
I feel the same right now. You find a succesful self-help channel and you'll see they put out content almost consistently but there's only so much you can do to your lifestyle. Then you realise most this content is just the same or a bullshit new habit you'd have to implement every week.
Getting unpluged is the anwser. If you have too much information you don't know what to do anymore. The paradox
@@borealis5379 Yes, fear develops also because these FAKE GURUS online makes you feel that there's so much you don't know, and that affects your decision making or making progress. The best way to overcome this is stop listening to your doubt and fear, give it a try and don't be afraid to fail.
After reading about a dozen self-help books you'll start to realize that they all pretty much consist of the same content.
I'm reading "The Body Keeps the Score" and "Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience" simultaneously right now, i.e. interleaving chapters from the different books, (also previewed "Healing The Shame That Binds You" as well as "The H-Factor of Personality") and they are each all quite different and very good in their own way. Maybe what a person need to do is be given a good reading list covering a breadth of subjects (and the suggested books being well-acclaimed, and best in their subjects), rather than relying on the Amazon recommendation algorithm (cause that is just going to recommend more of the same content, and those books may be sub-par). The Amazon ratings system can also be subjected to being gamed (or represent some sort of bias), so people relying on sheer number of reviews and number of stars should consider that those metrics alone may be misleading.
And you’ll also realize you already had the answers in your head
Yeah. You don't need magic to see what's wrong in your life and how to improve... Most of these books cover things very shallow instead of adopting psychology etc..
I'd say read David Goggins book
I call it wantrepreneurship. People who want to read about things instead of doing them. I only needed 1 book: Rich Dad Poor Dad. Everything from that point was just trial and error and getting my hands dirty. You get rich by doing things. Spend as little as you can and generate as much as you can. And when you have a nice little USD hoard, convert it into real estate, precious metals and ammo-- things that keep their value. Then keep it going: more income than expenditure. Just plus and minus.
It takes years, goals, a vision, strategic prowess, dedication, adaptability and grit. And, tbh, many people will never be able to do what I did. I've had to accept that not everyone is smart, imaginative, driven or strong-willed. If anyone was ever gullible enough to become a wantrepreneur, they very likely don't have what it takes to run a profitable business.
Spot on. When I saw authors quoting themselves, or starting off with 'I was a loser like you', that when the illusion was broken. The narcissism was sickening.
Whenever I felt unmotivated I used to watch these motivational videos on UA-cam where they say “you gotta be the hardest working person in the room and if you aren’t, someone else will be” and I felt really motivated…for like 15 minutes and in those 15 minutes all I did was make a schedule. The rest of the day I daydreamed about how great my life would be if I become the hardest working person in the room.
That’s it. Nothing really happened. I was back at procrastinating the next day, now with a crippling sense of incompetence.
I hope this vid helped you now
@Sudeshna Discipline.Taking Action is the solution.But here you're consuming things again.
There's no point on doing self development if you didn't take actions, even if its a bit. The reason we read a book is to get a good points from it and use it for our life. Its useless if we didnt take actions for what we have learned!
You can start doing something by using the 20 second rule. For example, you want to exercise in the morning but you are very lazy, even though the weather is great. What you need to do now is tell your body to do the thing only for 20 second, and then you can relax if you want.
Start by wearing shoes, open the door, get out and close the door. You can open the door back if you dont want to.
"but it is worth it? I already put on my shoes and the weather is great! I should just go and walk a bit..."
Once you did something that push you towards the action you wanted to do although you totally dont want to do them, you will eventually do the action and somehow motivated to do them.
Hope this helps :)
@@الأخلاقمهمة thank you!
Your comment has no point. They are not wrong telling you what to do if you're unable to do it it's your fault
it’s hard to believe that 2020 is four years ago😢
Self Help: Work 90 hour weeks, work from 7pm - 2am on a side gig
Also Self Help: 8-9 hours sleep is key to productivity
Actually it's more like this: "Value your time, don't waste it. Be Productive, don't just get to know the advice and think you accomplished something, you need to actually get up and get moving"
I pick choice 2
Actually yes, for example, I learnt prgramming and investing but you have to be fresh to make both, so I always take care to sleep enough. You just have to make realistic goals, that it takes time to reach them. I advanced my carrer a little bit, but since I know my long term goal, I worry less and take also more time for family, friends and sports. Unfortunately the harder you try, the less it will work, so yeah, enjoy more your time
This video called me out way too much😂 when you said “making a studying schedule and calling it a day without actually studying” I felt that
Yessss!
I’m sure a lot of people can relate, I know I did.
Yeaah i do that too haha
cleaning a room and think that’s progress...yup
Yeah what about "it took me a whole year of procrastinating before finally deciding to do it". Hit hard man.
That is why minimalism and stoicism saved my life.
Peep taoism, stoicism might prove to be a roadblock later. Minimalism is the tits, though.
Brian Randall why Taoism, all I’ve learned is the belief that people can become dieties through ritual
@@skojoy7074 i dont know anything about that deities stuff, but Taoism is a great path to acceptance of the world around you. Which in turn helps you to feel better about anything and everything. But hey, the Tao that can be spoken is not the true Tao (ch.1, tao te ching), so go figure it out yourself. :)
@@brianrandall3795 Wait, im confused. How can stoicism be a roadblock when it's literally about accepting roadblocks
@@fckinethanol There's a lot more to it than that. A perfect stoic doesn't feel like a normal person. Because they have accepted everything in sich a light, they tend to become apathetic and lose relations with those close to them. They won't feel sad about the ordeal, but just sort of exist within it. Stoicism gets dangerous, so use it in moderation.
I remember someone calling self help "motivation porn".
And with post-nut clarity
"Motivational cocaine" is more appropriate, because at the very least porn is free, where's self-help is not
@@bulgarianreaper6587 There's tons of free advice and help if you're looking for it. However, how much you consume is at your own discreation.
My father once said something to me that I think was the single most valuable piece of advice I have ever been given. We where moving, my dad had a MBA and he had a ton of books he would read back during his MBA degree (Rich Dad Poor Dad, A random walk down wallstreet, Only the paranoid survive, etc, and a bunch of case studys) I remember him not allowing those books to be brought to my new house after I requested them. As for why, he said to me, and I will always remember this moment "Joey, you are young. Looking back all these years, these books have done nothing but killed my creativity, it gives you a mindset, it gives you a frame of doing something, it makes you think there is no other way to achieve something, it keeps you thinking inside the box. The more you read these self help books, the more you feel the need for knowledge, the constant thought that you dont know something, and that by the grace of god, knowing it will change your life. Thats wrong, you already know everything you need, you learn by doing, not using that same time and hunching over some book. Sure some of these books are good for you (Rich Dad Poor Dad) they help change your mindset, but too much of anything is not good, and in the case of self help books, its exactly the case.
This is some very solid advice here. I appreciate you sharing
So your dad wants you to spend years making the mistakes that people spent 10k years learning how not to make and writing them down. Bumbling through life without a mindset is not honorable, it’s naïveté
@@TexboyGamer flew right over your head "I'm sure glad I'm a dense idiot or else I would have understood the point"
@@vexial12 explain the point then
@@TexboyGamer I'm just as much as a dense idiot as you. Let's figure it out together
I am 32 years old. I've been trying to reach my "perfect" self by reaching mental, physical and spiritual "perfection" for the last ten years. It has consumed almost every aspect of my life and has left me feeling worthless most of the time. Last night, I had a mental breakdown because the stress of trying to eat perfectly, work out every day for two hours, read a book, "grind" for money at work, and try to be a perfect christian finally broke me. I've decided to take a step back and let go of this poisonous mindset that is killing me. I want to enjoy my life without feeling guilty anymore. I want to sit down and play Fallout New Vegas for a week and not beat myself up because I'm not "grinding." I'm done with this. I'll never reach perfection or that balance I want in life. And from what I've seen, no one else does either. We're all human and we all have flaws.
Trying to be better and HEALING is better than trying to be perfect
Progress > Perfection 😌
We will never be nor could ever achieve perfection in any part of our lives. Sounds like you discovered that in doing so more stress and disappointment in ourselves is created than what we are seeking. Interestingly God set it up that we find most joy and satisfaction focusing on and helping others than ourselves. Even in doing this our focus can shift back on the wrong thing to being perfect in helping others. Only Jesus is perfect. When you get a lot older like me you’ll learn to embrace the imperfections in ourselves and others (or maybe you’re learning this early!). This is why He told us in our weakness He is strong - we don’t have to be the ones who are strong all the time (what a relief!). And He has never expected you to be perfect in life or as a Christian. Otherwise we wouldn’t need Him and the gospel is useless. That’s one thing the world gets so wrong - Christians are not called to be perfect and God doesn’t expect it, which is why we’re in a constant state of needing Him, even in the good times and not just the bad. Boy I wish I had learned all of this at your age!!! Bless you in your journey - because this is a journey not a destination.
@@meggreen442 God bless you and thank you for your kind words, they are like a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and health to the bones.
@@FallouFitness_NattyEdition God bless you too!
"Care about what other people think and you will always be their prisoner." - Lao Tzu.
@AP.17 from a certain point of view
@AP.17 I'd say it's a spectrum. Most things in life are on a spectrum, and it applies to this as well.
As a matter of fact, I learned not to care a fuck about what other people thought after finishing college.
Okay what about never care about what people say. Now your on a road to homelessness, inceldom, and being unhealthy.
Ya psychopaths and serial killers don't care what other people think either. Or do they?
What he said at 8:47 made me realize that unhappy people like myself are like a dying cancer patient desperately trying to find the best doctor in town, only to then waste more money on different types of treatments and pills, but never resolving the root cause. Sure, they may take away the pain temporarily and give us a sense of progress, but eventually, our wallets run empty and we're left with nothing except complete hopelessness.
What a dark world we live in...
The "Toxic Positivity" and "Hustle Culture" segments describe about 98% of social media posts nowadays.
😂 everybody’s winning ig 🚶🏽 nawww they the 🐇 im the 🐢 i will prevail
Especially on instagram. Work hard, work hard, work hard, on what???
Man, this video is a blast
I have come here ,after a financial page wrote about this industry and in the comments , someone write about this video on you tube
@I Coroa saying everything but not telling anything at all
Ikr i hate seeing ladies saying woman empowerment woo woo then you will see them judging other lady on what her skin is and body. Im sick of that kind of posts even the celeb in my country doing this thats why its so hard to not get heard of it
I think one statement that can relate to this strongly is "too much of anything can be bad for you"
So true. People will often give impossible goals to themselves. Please journal before you do. Write down why you want it. You want to earn more? You are struggling to pay rent? Then this is good goal for you. But if you have 20k USD at your bank account, which is growing with every pay check, and you don't know what to buy, more money won't make you more happy. When I got a raise, I was happy for 20 min. Then I decided to buy my friends drinks to celebrate. And that was the best thing about my raise. So yeah, going out with my friends made me more happy than 15% raise.
I didn't want to brag about money, I'm not rich by most standards. I wanted to show how you can have goals which aren't important to you. Think about them. Want to read more? Well try to read single book. Don't start some 30 books challenge. Don't buy $200 eink reader. Want to become fit? Try few activities which could help and pick the most fun one. Don't start following fitness blogger, and his (probably fake) routine. Your diet is bad? Try to find one healthy meal, you like (trust me, heathy food can be tasty), and try to eat it once a week. You can add more fruits. You can stop buying soft drinks. Don't become raw food vegan.
@@MrR0FL0LMA0MG So so true and tbh I'm very guilty of this as well. I always used to aim and focus on the end result which made the journey FEEL impossible and extremely overwhelming to the point where i'd constantly procrastinate because I'd expect myself to do a million things in one day and then i'd beat myself up in the end for not getting anything done which is a dangerous game to play...
Whilst I believe that the 'Grind' mentality is partially to blame for that way of thinking. I also think people can see in themselves how much potential they truly have and so they get this misguided idea on how this 'potential' should translate into their performance and so they feel like they can take on the world when realistically you have to take on one country at a time before the world is yours.
one of the valuable comment,very well
Can't agree more
@@pain5835 That's pretty common expression used in English. Nitty pitty troll.
"Absorb what is useful, discard what is not, add what is uniquely your own"
- Bruce Lee
There's a truth in this video. There's really a scam in the the self-help community.
But, I think if you just utilize self-help in moderation and focus on the action then it won't do you no harm.
And assess if something suits you, if it's not then don't follow through it. Don't become obsess with "self-help" but with your actual development.
Problem is people don't know how to develop "in a vacuum". To improve, you have to replace bad habits with good habits, and you can't replace something you know with something you don't know (which is the issue with so much personal development stagnation, and repeating of old bad things). If only any big system created a moral guide of figuring all that out...oh...wait...
SovngardeBeckoned that’s why you have to go out and try new things
Well put
Exactly!
Also: "If you spend too much time thinking about a thing, you'll never get it done." -Bruce Lee
Life is so much better when your parents teach you early on how to detect BS before you’re standing in it. Mom, Dad-for the millionth time-thank you.
I was lucky in that aspect
Exactly. :)
Yep!
True !!
I wish I was
Hands down the best video so far !
Key lessons I took away:
- Don't allow yourself to consume more material than you take action on
- Working hard and working smart is the key to the two-piece puzzle.
- Observe your thoughts and habits objectively - Never BS yourself. ( Echart Tolle)
- Focus on what your task/business needs right now. Ignore the fluff. (Action Faking)
- You're underrated af
Absolute legend. You hit the nail on the head my guy 🙏
"If you have to get motivated every day, you will lose" -Evan Carmichael.
Awesome stuff bro. Really poingnant. Question if i may ask. I chose sobriety 4 years ago out of a religious experience. Thinga have been tough because i still feel the void inside. I am my worst judge and have avoided fake action but i have become an emotional junkie. Should i focus on work and gratitude including the BAD times? I have some business ideas that solve problems, it scares me to think they could work.
His story is the exact same as mine. But it’s not a two piece puzzle there are many variables you might not be aware of. I think the quote success is in the details stays true. A lot of the times people call successful people lucky, but when you look into the details you can see why they are where they are. It just take time to build those skills to analyze things and see past the bull shayt.
@@JCM-LedZeppelin-Stories Focus on loving yourself first. It sounds like you're giving yourself a hard time for not reaching your goals. It's ok to not be where you wanted to be because you're the only one who pictures yourself there. Maybe just scale back or set smaller achievable ones. There's no set age or time of success. If you're healthy both mentally and physically you can focus on going forward.
Can we talk about how well-made this video is? The music, the audio quality, the video quality... Everything!
Yeah, this is pretty top notch all around. I cannot imagine how many hours were spent on the back end with the editing, audio - like, I hope to fuck this person is enjoying themselves. I'd rather chew broken glass than work on vlogs and videos all day.
Michael [Kel] Monroe editing is fun, maybe not for you. He’ll be enjoying himself when he’s pulling in $300k / year and only putting out one vid per month which will be in the very near future. Go chew your glass
@@tihkal Nah, I'm just gonna do what I like doing instead. I'm happy you like editing, and I don't care who is making what amount of money. Be well.
@@michaelkelmonroe7547 That response made me automatically like you! great attitude
@@manuelmillan5970 Thank you, Maneul! :)
“The illusion of progress” hit different.
That's progress is only an illusion of you lack self-awareness.
Too much haste is not enough speed
You really changed my perspective on self-help and self-improvement. For years, I've been trying to become the greatest version of myself, but I still felt empty. We spend so much of time consuming, and less time taking action. Thank you for sharing your perspective through means of this video. You're going to help people escape this facade. 🙌
"Create more, consume less."
This.
I love it!
hmmm...
When growing up I tried to figure out what the next step is, what are we supposed to do. I figured it's "become a producer more than a consumer", and "get into real estate" :'P
this comment section is more valuable than any self help book.
Yes, so pay me $80 for the service. It's a bargain honestly.
... No lie was told !!! ... So true. ...
Best comment section ever
"Moderation in everything, even moderation" is my go to statement these days
if you're going to over-indulge in something, make it a healthy, active lifestyle ;)
Balance... as all things should be.
Secret Pathway To Triumph blew my mind. I’ve shared them with friends, and they’re all amazed at the shifts in their mindset.
Scam
The worst thing about self help guidance is that there is no tangible product at the end. If you say to a 'guru' 'that didn't work for me', they will just tell you that you didn't work hard enough
So is the Law of Attraction
Yes. This is one of the shaming and blaming tactics overly utilized that keeps one thinking they are the problem and therefore unable to see that the system that delivers that kind of narrative is meant to keep you ensnared in its endless looping of self-denial and self deprecation. That's the real shame right there!
I was once told to quit my lazy negative thinking and work harder and I finally told them, THEY were the problem there
Like religion. Not terribly different.
@@joeanthony7759 just pray to god harder
You know what's better than reading self help books?
Reading things you actually genuinely like.
Edit: I see this has become a controversial take
Simple but so right
Yes!!
Words to the wise
best self-development books are classics. they teach you morale, history, language.
People have been so programmed by society, most people don't really know what they truly like to read.
"Sleeping eight hours a day? that's a third of your life!"
I don't like this simplistic way of looking at things. It is not a third of your life wasted. You are still breathing, still experiencing being a human being. Still dreaming. Sleeping is a sacred time, and it is necessary for your brain, heart, and soul to be firing on all cylinders. But hey, these days many people listen to the hissing noise of the imaginary abyss and are too disoriented to comprehend the sacredness of nature
So much physical and mental repair happens when you sleep. Lose but a couple of days of sleep and you'll soon find your mental faculties diminished and your physical body under stress.
Sleep is about the most proactive thing that we do, not the least!
A twenty minute power nap after work can restore my tired and anxious mind like no amount of caffeine. Sleep is brilliant!
On top of that dreams are awesome... I swear I've had so many adventures in my dreams. I've flown to the stars, danced with the planets and conquered worlds.
completely agree with you. i have fibromyalgia/ME which means that even after 8 hours sleep i would wake up as if i never slept. i also noticed that lack of sleep or quality would trigger anxiety during the day. however, sleep is essential for managing chronic pain. not sure if anti-depressants are considered part of this new wave of organic self help, but since starting them i finally experience REM sleep which never was the case. i dream up until i wake up. sleeping feels like a genuine rest. the idea of resting less than 7/8 hours, as i did before my diagnosis, seems like sabotage. this is coming from a former toxic-perfectionist (which ultimately led to my burn out in the first place).
@@elatrasi2684 My mom also suffers with Fibromyalgia. During a bad flair up no amount of sleep will refresh her. It's a physically and mentally exhausting condition. We should never take good quality sleep for granted, once the ability to sleep well is taken from us it does not take long for the mind and body to suffer.
Alison Of The Shire sending your mom so much strength and well wishes. fibro has completely changed my life (slows and strips you down to the bare basics), and the invisible nature of this disability makes it even more challenging and misunderstood. flare ups can last a while, so it’s important to know the triggers (including lack of quality sleep) and be self forgiving and kind. you and your mom are not alone in this battle. God bless 🖤
Am I correct when I say that the message of this video is: do what works for you and actually do it instead of just consuming information about what you wanna do. And work smart not hard, just because it's works for most people doesn't mean it works for you. In summary: stay on your own path/journey, be patient, wise, strong & natural.
Is that correct?
For being a young person you seem to be "awake!" Not necessarily pessimistic but more a realist. Lots of wisdom. I'm proud of you.
As Ram Dass said: "when you get the message, just hang up the phone". Endlessly consuming advice is the most vicious form of procrastination.
That was Alan Watts, not Ram Dass, and he was talking about psychedelics
I think that quote refers to drugs but it does apply the same to useful info online too
@@patrickzingler4372 who? I thought it was from Timothy Leary lmao
Yes it was Timothy Leary
Affirmations can actually lead to promising results
I agree and disagree the same time - working hard, eating healthy and training, education and development is never wrong. However it’s no guarantee for success - BUT doing the opposite is a guarantee for failure.
Yeah, there's no way u can go wrong in improving ur health
But however much better u can get physically, mental health goes hand-in-hand
It's important to work on both and become a truly good person so that in the end, you are happy with yourself
Not everyone needs "success" to be happy... but being successful at being happy, is another story tho lol
you missed the whole point of the video. The question is, after reading and doing everything
do you actually get to implement it or you keep on seeking more self help?
@@melmel7011 I think the OP is coming from a position of “self improvement for the sake of self improvement”, not “self improvement because a guru told me to”
Fscts
That is not what this video is saying, it says you don't need self-help gurus to say these. Everyone ll not be successful, it is ok to quit and move on instead of chasing illusions & wasting money & time.
Thank you for putting words to something I've always felt, but never known how to articulate. This was brilliant.
Yes, what he said
Words 👍
true..
Great Stuff!
You must be an introvert.. lol. Kidding! I agree!!
"someone is profiting, but who?" Then a ad started to play, I laughed
Ha ha😂 , actually a workshop ad came to teach about stock market investing and become rich
This video of self help being anti self help is actually self help too
Lmaoo
HMMM
Exactly 😊
Blame no one.
Be accountable for all our actions.
Ironic
I beg to differ that this is self help video in disguise because this is the truth and someone has got to tell this. He has simply attempted to show the real nature of the self help 'sector'.
there is a huge difference between self-help and self-discovery. The first pushes you to compare yourself to others, while the second makes you embrace your uniqueness and your "imperfections"
💯💯
smells like a cope
Very well said 🙏
Exactly. Self-help videos are there to motivate you and it depends on you to really help yourself. If you don't do productive things after being motivated then you're not really helping yourself. If you really do want to help yourself, you can without any self help stuff or maybe what you thought was "enough is enough" maybe wasnt just "enough" to make you change or do something about your life.
Thank you for this comment.
Self Made man is a myth of our century, an illusion that feeds egocentrism and solitude. We must learn how to live with others and share, instead becoming lonely super burned out individuals.
Yes, I think take care of yourself is important and interact with other people too.
since the 1700 with robinson crusoe and similar things is portrayed the mith about the self made man, i think it's more a thing that human dream of
@@edgarego5813 For sure the Enlightenment has been great trigger.
Spot on. Each day when I wake up, I experience a small doze of existential crisis, then the fear of missing-out and lastly that the universe owns me (you fill the blank).
"Self Made man is a myth" Yes. Check out the documentary "The Lottery of Birth". When I hear "Nobody gave me nothing. I had to work for what I got, " I say, "Uh-huh, you decided to be born into the middle class in the richest country in the world, with no birth defects, etc."
Thank you for exposing the world that we live in today. From your video, I've found words to express myself and thank you for bringing in the the new term ''toxic positivity'' we need to speak on that more.
"DO NOT consume more than you put into action."
That, right there, is gold! 🔥👏🏽💛
This video is so depressing and so necessary at the same time. It's unbelievably difficult to get on that point in life to realize all of this things told in this video. It's very helpful for many of today's strugglers
Yeah it is something that needed to be said. Everyone focuses on your self-development but where is the action behind it?
💯 💯 💯
When you need help because you can’t stop helping yourself.
💀
It's a paradox 😂
Lol
Jesus Christ is alive and wants a relationship with you. God sent his only Begotten Son, that whosoever believed in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. Life as a Christian is hard but you will receive Blessings from God that will change your life completely, you will feel at peace in the Lord Presence. The devil will do everything he can to disrupt your peace but he will fail but Jesus is mightier then He is. Please if you haven’t accepted him as your personal Lord and Saviour, I hope you make the right decision for yourself. He died for us on the Cross for our sins so we wouldn’t have to face God’s wrath. He took it all in that Cross. He died for people knowing they might never love him back. He’s real. I and many people have felt his Spirit of love and peace and many have seen dreams of heaven and hell and many people are in hell suffering. People who reject Jesus Christ automatically live for satan and hell for eternity is not a joke. God doesn’t want this on us at all. Don’t be scared, make the right decision and accept Jesus Christ. He doesn’t condemn anyone of their sins, he wants us to repent, meaning confessing our sins to Jesus and to try with everything to turn away from them. Blessings 🙏🏾❤️✝️
LMAO - seriously !!!
Absolutely agree, both new age industry and self improvement industry are pretty much scam based. You cannot proove right or wrong on energy healing or self improvement. In both cases it's power of suggestion that you buy not the result you hope for.
Self improvement is real, cope harder with your miserable life. You can literally see it as the more the times goes, but I don't expect some loser to go through it fully.
13:30 "Rich people don't sleep 8 hours a day!"
He's right. They sleep 10 hours.
or more xD
😂😂
Ikr, what the fuck does sleeping less make someone rich?! Last time I did this, I just felt worse than before.
Most of them get a lot but only when they are rich, and it really depends on what their job is. With that being said to get to the place that they are in the process takes so many hours and consumes you to the point where you barely get sleep. But after then they are golden. Usually.
Becoming successful AND enjoying life requires being in a resourceful state. Not getting enough sleep impedes that.
Incredible. The script, music, editing but most importantly the overall message.
I agree, this video is outstanding
I have recreated this type of Documentary but with some changes Please support me to grow. Thank you friends. 👍👍👍
Agreed
@liczba pojedyncza try to listen at 0.75 speed or even 0.50, as I often apply that. also look: Justinian Deception - The Name, as we were made into slaves, the whole world. ppl are busy now liberating themselves from the system, the mail etc. But there are certain law rules we need to know!
The music hurt my ears
The point is: Life is confusing, there is a lot of suffering, and there will never be anything perfect
You didnt complete it: "... but heck, enjoy it anyway."
Yes ... that’s Buddha’s teaching : life is a suffering journey all along .....
@@faerveran6040 Exactely, trying to understand it will only get you headfucked and ruin the experience :D
@@Maya79800 I noticed, the best thing to do is to practice non-attachement. To the negative and the positive things. I remember a friend telling me on the best feeling he ever had - He popped an E before a going to a football game, and he just wept because he knew he will never experience such a feeling again. On the other hand one could be grateful instead for having been allowed to experience it in the first place.
Al R. - so, stoicism?
This year is when I realized that nothing has changed. Also, you are my favorite UA-camr. This video was me. my gosh. Waking up at 2am. Running on 4 hours of sleep. Because I am creating a better version of myself. I isolated myself from 'losers', read a shit ton of books, personal development videos, working out, eating right, living on a schedule. Man it makes no sense me saying it all because you laid it all out in this video. Just like your LOA videos, its me. You are quality over quantity. I even quit my job back in 2019, to "be my own boss" following many of this self help bullshit. The second worst decision ever. I am so happy I finally caught sense. It may take me awhile to build up a momentum. But now I have the sense to leave these things behind and start my life a new, from scratch.
My LOA/spiritual/metaphysical/pseudoscience journey lasted from 2009 - June 2023, 14 painful disappointing, heartbreaking, failure years.
My self help journey lasted from 2017-2022, 5 years of burn out, being busy but achieving nothing.
I also use to think what hard work(80+ hours) is Elon Musk talking about when he has a team/staff/employees working for him.
Grant Cardone, Dan Lok, Dan Pena, Gary Vee, Tony Robbins. It was always something about these guys that seemed off to me. I saw them more as marketers than people who actually wanted to help. I was watching a Dan Pena seminar on YT a few years ago when he dropped the bomb that Napoleon Hill was a con man and failed businessman. Fact check and it was true.
The only person I turn on from time to time and listen to is David Goggins... but I dont get caught up in following him or anyone else anymore.
To conclude, thank you for another amazing video. There is nothing like personal experience.
I hope that you've been doing a lot better ever since you came to that realization man, I'm sure that life ahead of you will be filled with good fortunes and happier moments :) Good luck in everything that you do and/or will be doing in life !
@070erwin Thank you. It has gotten a lot better since writing this post. All the best to you 🙂
I feel like what sets Goggins from the rest is that you can be 100% certain that he practices what he preaches lol. He's a useful ideal to keep in mind, whenever I feel like giving up.
Wait so u’re saying u’ve been doing ALL of this and being disciplined and all only for you to literally fail aint no way u did all of that and it didn’t work out. what exactly did u do?
Goggins is just as bad as those tbh. He just does works out rather than working. Also I wouldn't put Elon in the same category as those other guys. He just seems like a nerd who works so much because he likes it and it stimulates his mind. Certainly doesn't have an ego about what he does. And he will have no problem playing some video games, eating pizza and even smoking some weed lol. Those other guys are probably so uptight they wouldn't even consider doing such things.
Self-improvement is to the point with me where I find myself hyper analyzing every little thing I do. I’m always thinking about what I could’ve done or said better to improve instead of just living.
Fax bro. Self help book only made me overthink in social situations
its the cycle of hell, the devil wants you to stay in, also regret of the past and fear of the future is a common cycle of hell
Yes and the problem I find with always thinking of what you could have done better is that I never consider anything I do to be good enough. You just can’t win.
@@elijahd5809 Exactly
This is the comment that i can say i relate my whole life... this is so true
I'm glad I'm not the only one who is seeing the cracks within this community
@Winston NipsMan that sounds so backward but it's true. I'm already looking forward for more videos like this from HIM
@Winston Nips That's sad, but it's true, once you are trapped in the cycle, it's a little hard to break free.
this is exactly what broke me some years ago. I became so addicted to become better and better every moment of my life, that it turned a well balanced life to falling into a deep downside-spiral of depression. literally, all of my goals were met and exceeded. but i was unhappier than hardly ever before. Ignore the Voices telling you what to do, what to think and what to feel. just experience your own world and do you. period 🙏🏼
Absolutely what happened to me!
Marissa Lopes because they were never his goals to begin with. Just like me when I struggled heavily with insecurity and depression from being bullied. You’re in a highly vulnerable state and any source of help that seems genuine but often not ,you’re attracted to so you chase this illusion that if you accomplish said thing you’ll be happy even though in the end you won’t. It’s similar to the concept of people who chase money for life and develop affluence but you notice quite often when you cut off friends, family, and all the experiences of being young you realize you have your money but you’re all alone with this illusion of societal acceptance.the things that really make you happy are just things that mean something to you. It’s like rapping or acting most people desire to become either one because it’s attractive in society and because of the immensity of social media perpetuating this illusion it’s easy to become apart of the simulation. I love cars, designs, creating things and science but social media when I was vulnerable made me believe I wanted to be a rapper ,an icon or even a gangster but I really never had these desires. So I conformed to this for at least 4 years thinking yeh this will make me happy but I was still depressed until I went to parallel school and was detached from my influences and was forced to reflect and realize none of these things meant anything to me. And after intense pain because of realization I worked towards what I wanted and now I’ve accomplished so much personally like improved grades, losing 90 lbs, developing confidence going to university in fall and helping improve my mothers life by helping her lose 140lbs.and these all mean something to me that I wouldn’t trade for anything. But the thing about social media is in their eyes 👀 and I’ve even told some past friends that to them these accomplishment mean nothing because the majority of society is fed to desire something else they think they want.
I also acknowledge contextually ,based upon inferences one can assume I’m young so it likely affects your perception of me being able to do these things but I’ll leave that up to you to believe or disregard and yes I realize the irony of my speech possibly relating to traps explained in this video and there’s no reason for me to further explain because it will just repeat with more questions and debates about my genuineness.
@@euphoria7434 So true. You can easily add goals like "earn more money" and "finish this online curse". And then you learn that money won't bring happiness and that things you learn were not worth it.
Same thing happened with me
Power of Now is an amazing book! One of my favorites. Most people tend to suggest things like "Rich Dad, Poor Dad" which I feel like is just a piece of sales material. It has a lot of good concepts, but the overall intention is not to help, but to addict the reader to the consumption of self help.
You don’t need to read the book. The title “Power of Now” is enough.
@petrhorak3268 You really need to have an experience of 'awakening' to know what it's truly like though. Just telling someone to be here now isn't gunna do much in most cases. I remember reading that book at 19 years old and it completely changed my life. I had been meditating and reading about spirituality and what not but I didn't truly experience that state until I read that book.
Everyone's fighting for succes by producing something of value, meanwhile the biggest value in life is freedom and peace it self.
Faaaaaaaax
Who wants to know a real secret to live by FOREVER and FOR FREE?
Satisfied people do not scam and cannot be scammed: Truth:
THIS!! It's just so disgusting how we are constantly being told to "work hard for your dreams" to "never give up" on them, to "find a job that you like" so you can be "happy". "Work every waking hour" they say. Because if we aren't working all the time, we are being "unproductive" and "lazy". Every hour spent not working is an hour wasted. Time that you could've spent bettering yourself or "getting closer to that dream of yours". Because we've been convinced that the only way to be successful is to make a lot of money, be famous, etc. When in reality, the success that we've always been looking for has been right inside of us all along. The dreams that we've been chasing and the work we've been constantly doing, have been the distraction all along.
@@jjrhwy3376 haha, yeah I know, the western society is designed as such, everything is build on it, but no one needs to work for more than 4-5 hours a day, you could go anywhere, any community, work that much, and be done with it. people are capable of anything tho, if you need to work 80 hours a work one could, but fuck that, not for me, ye we have a self-proof society, not a self-love society you could say
@@jjrhwy3376 so true. Well put. Success is subjective
“Toxic positivity” and “hustle culture” these are genuine issues. My friend the other day was suggesting I could improve my life if I get up at 5:30am even though he knows I work night shift…. Really think about that
Your friends just dumb tbh
Lmao was he trollin
😂 he's not your friend
@@antoniovalentine9388 he’s best friend
I get up at 5.30 every morning for work, but I'm NOT feeling well physically or mentally.
Your friend's idea is not good.
"Knowledge isn't power, knowledge is potential power and become power when applied" - Napoleon Hill
Svetlin Sofiev yes good many want a quick fix
no shit
That which doesn't kill you makes you stronger? Nooo, that which does n't kill you can and will destroy you if you are weak do not learn and, allow it to. "Walter D Robinson"
You should really look into the shady history of Napoleon Hill.
Excecution is power. Knowledge is worthless without execution.
I am from a developing country so very new to many of the ideas of self help. I was wondering about the new hype taking over me as I got exposed to the world of self help. I felt the sense of losing control unaware of the other side of the subject. Thank you for the enlightenment!
“ I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, 'Where's the self-help section?' She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.” - George Carlin
😂😂
@@miriamllamas224 At first, I thought, why is she laughing emoji?? However, now I laff as I find it funny. As much as their comment is meaningful, it also sounds like a joke. Hehe
Haha crazy.
😂😂😂
I see what you did there, lol
I never understood the “don’t sleep 8 hours a day it’s too much” hustle mentality. You need at LEAST 8 hours of sleep to stay healthy and keep your mind sharp. Especially when you are a teen going into your 20s
I'm sick of the attitude that you have to get up at 5am to get things done. If you did that you would have to be in bed by 9pm. It's about working smarter not harder and for longer.
EXACTLY!! What's the point especially keeping in mind the fact that not getting enough sleep can affect you in so many ways including your productivity.
Yeah I never got it either. Not sleeping enough fucks up your health, and it definitely creeps upon you later on in life
And they told u this CEO Routine and that CEO Routine and how they got wildly successful by waking up at 4.30 AM to get bunch of things done LOL
Not everyone needs 8 hours. Some are fine with 6 or 9. Everyone should sleep what they feel is appropriate to their needs.
The problem of self-help is reading thinking reading a book is taking action, listening to a podcast is taking action or attending a seminar is taking action. All people need is discipline not more motivation.
They don't teach discipline in the schools anymore. They medicalize the problem and over medicate it or hoodwink children into thinking they need to be coddled with "safe space" all the time. When the boomers and the Gen xeriscape die out, GenZ won't be able to stand in their shoes and society will crumble. We've raised a totally helpless generation that can never grow up.
Discipline and consistency. So difficult but necessary for improving life😭
@@palebluedot5773 meh, I'm Gen Z and I'm pretty disciplined (I'm also a leftist, mentioning that since your words felt politically coded to me)
Taking acton is very important
@@palebluedot5773 and it's all boomers fault.
Never let us a chance to shine, not in work, nor in politics. Thanks for the shit world they gave us.
I’ve sent your video to my 19 year son who has fallen in the trap of self help gurus. Thank you for this video ❤
This is powerful. “It’s okay to not be okay” something that many don’t understand, we are not meant to be happy and positive 24/7 it’s an unrealistic and counterproductive goal
Lol this is some stoaic type of shit👌
My thoughts exactly 👍
All is temporary.
Toxic Positivity makes people deppresed because people thought they must be happy and positive all the time regardless of your condition. Its okay to feel sad and dissapointed were all humans
Do we really believe that? Or has it become another corporate slogan, an empty platitude we give lip service to? My observation is that it's really "It's ok not to be ok so long as your workplace, relational and economic functionalities work just the same, and you don't burden me with any extra work for you to be ok again"
"work smart, not hard" is still the best self-help advice I've ever gotten
It's a classic that seems to yet pushed down now
Fuck it, work efficiently and effectively
Life becomes complicated when you’re looking not for happiness but for perfection, looking for acceptance from the others not by self acceptance
Painfully relatable. Going through a self help detox and really appreciate this video. ❤
i never truly like the saying, “you only lose when you quit” because you can also lose when you don’t quit. It’s necessary sometimes especially if it’s holding you back or if it’s not good for you mentally or physically.
Agreed
sometimes success is knowing when to quit.
yup, it's like this self-delusion regarding addiction, believing that , "oh i can quit anytime" when in reality you're really so deep into the hole that you actually can't climb out of it just like that.
It’s such a weird statement because I can think of a lot of things I should have quit sooner but instead the whole “ you should finish things” kept me stuck in something I wasn’t going to finish, and neither did I want to finish it. I think it’s smart to know when to quit and then quit fast.
So true. I have actually wasted a lot both career wise and relationship wise to be too stubborn.
Of course you should not give up. But sometimes you need to look at the summary. Is it not short and long term giving you enough back emotionally and financially you sometimes just need to call it quits.
At age 22 I was homeless, addicted to various substances, and broke. At age 29, and after years of diving deep into "self help" and coupled with professional counseling, I now have a stable job with a very healthy salary, live in a wonderful community, and I'm married to the most amazing person to ever enter my life.
Let me clarify one important thing:
SELF HELP DOES NOT EQUAL POSITIVITY
You gotta be able to decide which speakers, books, podcasts ACTUALLY encourage growth vs. just blind optimism. And MOST importantly, you need to actually IMPLEMENT your new knowledge every day.
At the end of the day, you're going to be your biggest hero or your worst enemy, and learning how to improve various aspects of your mindset, health, and life is going to provide you with the best chance at attaining your goals.
You and James have articulated your points so eloquently. I can also attest to the power of a positive mind and attitude, as it has helped me make a BIG dream come true recently, against all odds! 🥰 That said, I also notice that it is being used now to prevent people from questioning some stuff that are scammy and others who dare to say something are brushed off as not having the right mindset. I think the MLM industry have taken advantage of this as well as fake gurus. We need to practice due diligence to make sure that we don’t just turn into consumers but actually use this as a tool to help us navigate our lives.
Thanks for your advice.nowadays even positivity can become toxic if swallowed raw.thanks again
What is your job. Think u can help ppl also get into whatever your doing
@@swiggityswo9558 I design fire alarm systems for commercial buildings. It's a very niche career and I genuinely enjoy the strategy involved with it, but I got started through trade school; I have an Associates in Computer Aided Design (and some certifications). After aggressively pursuing opportunities and making connections I was able to work with a few different companies doing architectural drafting, structural drawings, mostly very basic stuff at first, and eventually I was able to narrow my focus professionally. Eventually, opportunity aligned with my preparation and I got offered a very rewarding position at my current employer. My advice is to not focus on what specifically you think will be profitable. Rather, find a general field where you know you'll be rewarded for hustling and growing and simply START. Trust the process, do the right things, and everything will fall into place.
Sketch Crush I love you comment. It has an impact on me and gives me hope for my future. I wish you the best in your future endeavors ❤
We’ve come full circle: self help content explaining the dangers of self help content
Exactly…crazy😂
the video is kind of hipocritical to be fair
@@friendsofvaliumforest how so?
@@friendsofvaliumforest definitely 🤣 it is infact giving help/providing information so people don't fall into traps of self help.
Everything can be harmful in too large quantities.
watching self help videos has always been stressful and made me anxious but watching this videos was so relaxing , I don't know what my future beholds but all I can say is these self help books and movies made me a weak minded person and let me fall into OCD ( Obsessive Compulsive Disorder ) for all thee stuffs as I kept on reading things after thing , and its future that I have lost my passion . This video should go viral .
As an adult I realize the 'hustle' to be accomplished is damaging. There is a limited amount of energy/ attention you have a day, the schedules and devotion these self help books require is usually unsustainable. Your self development will happen naturally as you experience life. Just take it easy and enjoy yourself. Life is short.
Do what you can. Leave the rest to the Lord. Don't stress you'll become a mess. Don't wait you'll forever be late.
When I put my two weeks in, my manager said, “if I had money problems I would be working my ass off”. Ok, YOU can but I have goals in my life than working inhumane hours weekly just for pity pay that goes straight to bills, and now I’m hanging by a thread. I’m not going to “work my ass off” for an amount of pay that ain’t worth it even with time and a half included.
@@miti342 exactly whats the point of wasting away for (mostly) low pay if u can’t spend it doing things u enjoy
Life is short? Time to bunk this myth *starts planking*
@@shahidkarim9910 its actually eternal.
I was addicted for more than a year. It lead to me losing friends, feeling even lonelier and always having the recurring thought that I'm still not doing enough. I finally had time for myself during this quarantine and I reached the same conclusion. Thanks for putting it all into a video, more people need to see this
Yes, there should be a group for recovering self-help addicts like AA. Self-help is worse than drugs - you lose friends etc. with drugs you have at lease some friends..
Iambadatchoosingnames seems like it often tells you to cut out friends in your life that don’t bring value or want the best for you. Also if they aren’t going anywhere or very ambitious. There’s that saying “show me your friends and I’ll show you your future”
Frank Just That’s a big claim
"losing friends ".....lol.There are no friends in this world.Eventually only one in the whole life.
I too was in this _"loop"_ once.
Discovered something so mindblowing I thought now anything becomes possible.
To a certain degree this was even true!
And I was hooked and truly committed for the first time in my life.
Cause I could also *see* the undeniable progress.
'
*But...* all good things must come to an end inevitably, as it seems.
I saw the wall, the line, the thing, the _"challenge"_ that was just too high, too wide, too hard, too strong, too indominable - to overcome.
'
From hero back to zero.
So quickly... so suddenly.
And you know what?
Despair.
Disappointment.
Doom.
'
All of this... *DID NOT CAME!*
It was fun. The ride was worth the experience.
And the mental progress I made did not vanish either.
'
Kind of a shame I could not reach *literal GODHOOD* as I wanted but hey... I guess on this chessboard I have to find happyness as a chesspiece.
A pity. Truly a pity. :)
Looks like I will just continue to game my brains out and live shamelessly as a mortal until the end.
Such a shame though.
The world would have liked me as it's god I think.
working hard is not a guarantee of success, it's just one of its requirements.
On the other hand, not working hard is a guarantee of failure.
It depends on what the individual idea of success is.
If working hard is not a guaranteed success then why is it required?
@@QueenLaCheefa Because in the vast majority of cases you won't go anywhere if you don't do anything or if you're like everyone else and not work harder to have a plus value you just won't go anywhere.
@@QueenLaCheefa Because it's not the only requirement.
Doing therapy (both individual and group) since 2022 has helped me more than any self-help book or meditation or yoga I had done before. I think nothing can substitute therapy, but of course not everyone can afford it, and it takes some effort to find a good therapist. I am lucky enough to live in Germany where my health insurance pays for it. I think sometimes even a few sessions can be extremely helpful and eye-opening. My development is still in progress, and it will be maybe for the rest of my life, but it is ok. For me personally also Elaine Aron's book about highly sensitive people helped a lot to accept myself as I am. It guided me a to a self-helf group that is honest, supportive and lacks any fakeness and toxic positivity bullshit. So it can be also a good option. 🙂
Thank you for this video, your channel is really great and I got hooked on it now during a difficult period of my life. Keep it up!
“A goal without a plan is just a wish.” - Antoine
@Chetan Waghmare "i don't even have a pla." Phoebe Buffet
A plan without action is still just a wish.
Antoine who
"I giorno giovana have a dream"-giorno giovana
The irony is that by watching this video I also felt like I've accomplished something.
I mean it depends on how you take it, you could either learn from it, or pretend that not trusting guru's is a viable option.
it technically is because we have learnt something new
@@supa7853 How is trusting guru's ever a viable option?
👍He’s offering “self help”. 💝
same
Being aware of the problem is the first step to finding a solution. Also, I think "Smart Work" is the secret to success rather than "Hard Work". Thank you for bringing attention to these topics!!
Amen....totally agree!!! Taking time to reflect on our work helps us adjust our course and to the nuances of our journey. Working hard keeps us on the hamster wheel. It's BS. We need to focus on working smart and then work hard when it's the smart thing to do!!!!
Both are required
I Would Say That Action Faking Has a Simple Solution
"Just Do It And Take Action."
This Is As Simple As That.
I Never Do Like This That James Said. This Is Certainly Foolish THat You Need To Apply The Stuff
Nobody I know can define either of those and spout them like they can. So here is a definition of both:
Hard Work: the expense of energy, maximized to accomplish a task.
Smart Work: the expense of energy, optimized to accomplish a task.
You decide which one is better.
im a guitarist cum an artist..but im not THAT GOOD at both..my dream is to be a guitarist but i live in india..im 24 i have no job whatever..my parents compare me to my frnds..cuz they have jobs and they are earning money..being an artist or guitarist is hard..they dont encourage my my dreams and always call me delusional to go for my dreams cuz im too old..all those hard work and originality i put on my art is never appreciated by anybody..it was all a waste of energy time and money..my father would help me get a job but not a single good guitar teacher for..and yes im self taught at both..what should i do..someone plz help..
This is the first video of yours I watched, and damn, it got me hooked to your channel. The storytelling, production value; it’s really inspiring.
the self-help industry has led me to the point where i thought relaxing and having time for yourself is procrastination. i always felt so guilty for not doing something "productive" even tho i have been sudying most of the time. i have also started to have symptoms of neurosis. thank you self-help industry :)
How are you relaxing and having time for yourself?
You have to know the difference of relaxing and wasting time. I used to spent whole days watching mindless tv, while knowing i need to move towards my goals.
You sound like you watch 15 hours of TV and complain about not making progress in life.
I've been there fuck every content and don't get to much influence of anything and everything is about balance and they all say go all in and it doesn't work that way i learned it hard way
@@sarvnn yeah I tried to go all in a couple of times and it never worked for me, after a couple of days I start crumbling
“Knowing is not enough. We must apply. Willing is not enough. We must do.” - Bruce Lee
Good qoute. Originally said by Goethe
@@lukasvilla2657 Thank you so much for telling me that!! Now I can look at his other quotes and more about him in general.
@@kathym656 no problem! Yeah Goethe has some great ones 👌
I'm so sick of you people throwing around quotes like they actually do something. It does not make you look smarter and it does not help anyone here. The whole comment section is full of it. Yuck!
@@snorcutter it helps to convince people if you quote someone known.... I know, that's sad
“It is okay, to not be okay. The actual meaningful things, are created through struggle”, I like this sentence since it really encapsulates what the self help industry is often overlooking. Often when we look back upon our lives, we realize that the most difficult times were times of tremendous growth. Changing and growing isn’t easy, it requires hardship
True that! There is no birth without pain.
I'm giving birth to one huge mfer then
@@anttoni8867 lol. Same.
Refined in the refiners fire 🔥
Thank you, that's all I can say.
Thank you so much.
I've been there, and you put it in words that I struggled to find.
I encourage you to keep doing what you're doing!
When did "success" become "better than the rest", I think that's quite toxic too.
It's fucked up man.
Let's not confuse pop culture "self help" with actually helping yourself.
Always be your own person, always work on yourself.
But what about helping the poor?
@@marcocisneros3485 please help them
@@marcocisneros3485 they said "always work on yourself", not "always work only on yourself"
Exactly do the necessary work... we shouldn't try to over do it
They should work on themselves lol
"I was made to believe that negative thoughts of quitting are wrong". i related to that:(
This is by far the most enlightening video I've ever come across. I've been such a consumer of motivation spending abt 4hours daily listening and following somany Gurus. Bt this video just freaked me out I didn't even realise what I've been doing all along. Thank you somuch you have changed a soul all the way in South Africa.
Another issue I have with the self-help industry is that it's not very neurodivergent informed. I am autistic with ADHD and trying to follow the advice intended for neurotypical people was especially disheartening when I couldn't follow through
The product that this industry produces is what I like to call "Inspiration Porn."
I have read an article months back in Medium titled "No more struggle porn" by Nat Eliason, it is a good read
Yup, I think the stuff you see posted in social media can fall under that name too
Oh, now that's a fun :)
Scarily accurate.
@@pipilchocolate8654 Yup.
All the ‘work hard’ propaganda is especially harmful. Everyone needs a break
Working hard doesn't mean not taking breaks.
This mentality is especially hardcore in slavic countries. There are generations of people there who don't know how to rest and every attempt at it brings guilt. Even if they work 3 jobs already.
My father worked hard. Now he has diabetes and had heart surgery and high bp.
My mother worked hard, she has migraines and leg pain.
I worked hard, and under lot of pressure, I feel sick and tired and all the time.
It's time to stop working hard. Work as much as you can. But not as much as you Physically harm yourself.
everyone needs a break,. then what is the purpose of sleep,. have you ever heard of somebody's heart taking a break for a couple of days, my uncle been breathing for 79 years and he aint take a break yet, do ants take a break
who do you think pushes that propaganda? large companies with low wage workers (Amazon, Mckesson, FedEx, any form of factory work) can push a “healthy and fulfilling” mindset to get the most effort from these poor people for a couple bucks above minimum wage.
wow It's like I was hearing my past self talking. This was really good. Don't ever delete or hide this video.
Happy to hear you enjoyed it, William!
Don't worry, the video is staying up 😉
Word up lol!!! 2012-2014 i went crazy cus of all these self helps shits
@@JamesJani he is talking that you need to develop more because this is stage when ure bitter of self development, when u accept it and move on and start grinding on your purpose you will understand 😁
@@JamesJani Papa UA-cam will decide that 😂