Dealing with things early. I wish this is something I understand before I got married. I didn’t want to be high maintenance . I kept my mouth shut and stuffed my feelings for the first 10 years of my marriage. It wasn’t until everything fell apart and my fundie in-laws we’re literally yelling at my husband outside our house, my church was pushing me down, and my husband was completely checked out of our relationship and family. I finally stood up for myself, my marriage and my kids. It’s been three years since I changed and my husband and I are still have conversations that we should have had the first year. It’s okay to say how you feel and what you think. Everyone is important and valuable.
It's good to make some noise early on & sweat the small stuff. I know of someone who didn't ever speak up for himself in his marriage & his relationship ended in divorce, 32 years later. Not saying it was all his fault, by any means. His ex was a pretty bad narcissist & would emotionally & verbally abuse him. If he had made a big deal out of her behavior early on, it would either make her see the light & realize she's being ridiculous or she'd be stubborn & he could've walked away earlier.
I heard somewhere that there was a trend that middle aged women were divorcing there husbands because they felt that after years of marriage they wanted to spend what was left of their life being happy. As a 63 Year old I felt that way during Covid. Because my husband did what ever he wanted and did all the work and carried all the mental. It was even worse during covid. I finally told him I wanted a divorce and he promised to change, and he did. I think to myself I should have done it long ago. I wonder if that is why it is a trend
I had all your stats. Abuse, rage, neglect, taken advantage of, and couldn’t leave because I had 4 kids, and have a visual handicap . It took 37 years. Thank you for your podcast.
I don’t believe for a minute that women are leaving for frivolous reasons. Sadly I do have a relative who 100% left for a frivolous reason. Selfish people give the rest of the people who need a divorce for a legitimate reason a bad name.
See, if I hear that "78% percent of couples divorced over 'lack of commitment,'" my initial impression would be that the one filing for divorce is doing so because of his/her _partner's_ lack of commitment (i.e. failing to meet basic relationship responsibilities, including maintaining a safe environment). Also, a fifth of men leave their wives after the wife is diagnosed with a life-altering illness? I guess these guys are Pat Robertson's audience.
I found the at to be a really horrifying stat. What is wrong with these guys who would ask a woman to marry them and not provide even basic decent commitment when the going gets rough through NO FAULT OF THE WOMAN?!
I did not want a divorce but my husband started acting like he hated me. He did this by being celibate more than 10 year, had sex with men and women(mostly men), mean actions, yelling, threaten to hit me once, told my attorney he d like to kill me(she did nothing) and had me followed to see if I cheated. I NEVER did. We went to marriage counseling and told counselor I was ugly & he did not like me any more. So advised get a divorce and join custody of children.
I am so sorry that happened to you. I'm glad you're out of that situation. Honestly, when I was younger, my parents made me think divorce was the worst thing possible to happen to a couple. I thought that couples divorced out of laziness or just because they lost those warm fuzzies. Granted, some couples do divorce for those reasons which is dumb, but now I realize, a lot of divorces can be life saving or just good for a person's overall well-being. I know two guys whose wives were just horrible to them. Both of their wives were emotionally & verbally abusive & even cheated on their husbands. One of the guys actually caught his wife in the act multiple times. He tried to file for divorce, but she just dragged out the whole process.
I'm so sorry. When I read your comment, I thought of how differently you will feel after time that brings some healing. Healing from this level of abuse can take a lifetime. Ask me how I know. But it's a very good journey to be on!
For us numbers challenged folk, I am wondering if you all could create a “one sheet” summary of the worst stats and how they are faulty? Maybe it would not clear things up for everyone but I m a visual learner so I feel if I could sit and look at your numbers and analysis, I might “understand” it better… maybe enough to coherently share it with my people (my sons!)? Thanks for your pursuit of life giving truth/evidence!
I would love for you to do something about non-neurotypical people and how that factors into the question of mental load. Like the classic example of autism in afab people not being picked up because they spend so much time masking (and are exhausted as a result). Of course trying to fit in to a world / situation that is created solely for neurotypical people is a huge mental load in itself.
Out of all the people I know, LITERALLY the only reasons I’ve ever seen have been infidelity (like with multiple people not just once) and psychological/emotional abuse, and a lot of the time both of those things. and then one time substance abuse with illegal drugs. I’ve NEVER seen a marriage from someone I know end cause they just weren’t feeling it anymore or thought they could do better.
I have a Facebook group with almost a thousand local single moms. Infidelity and abuse are the biggest reasons for divorce I have seen. I don’t know any who left for no reason. None of them wanted to be single mothers but that was better than the abuse.
Thank you so much for running the actual numbers so we can see the whole picture! It’s about time someone challenged those who misuse statistics to shore up their misleading misogynist statements! You two are always the best❤❤❤
I love your podcast and agree with you most of the time. I really appreciate your use of statistics and the healthy view of marriage and the sex lives of Christians. I would like to make one comment, though. There are women who do not need to come to orgasm every time they have sex, yet they still love sex, enjoy it very much, and never feel "used" by their husbands. Great sex can have many aspects for women - there's orgasm and other pleasurable sensations, the warm feeling that comes with physical intimacy, the tactile pleasure of skin on skin, the delight of pleasing your husband. If spouses have a good sex life, then there should be no pressure on women to feel like they failed at something if they don't care about orgasm as much as their husbands do. For some women, they only want to cross the finish line once or twice a month, but they enjoy being in the race as often as their man wants.
As for the tradwife TikTok trend (which I have not seen and do not want to see), you need to flood the platform with young women with attractive personalities who can make equality in marriage seem fresh, sexy, and fun, which is presumably how the tradwife thing looks to those who are drawn to it. I think too many of us think of egalitarianism as having something to do with angry women yelling at you, which makes you think of your mom, which is not usually fun. (I say this as a mom myself.)
I think you are missing the financial motivation part of this. Woman usually get the kids and child support. Men that are being abused often can not initiate divorce because they can not afford to. I think that once 50/50 custody and child support reform happens you'll see more of a balance between who initiates divorce.
Could you do an episode of real life examples where egalitarian couples have both wanted something different but then ended up on the same page. For example, if the husband wants to live on the opposite side of the world for the rest of his life, and the wife wants to stay where she is, close to family supports, where do they end up living?
Then people complain "you can prove anything with statistics" in order to ignore them when they're done well, because they don't want to make the effort to think (about, what is the right statistic, or just at all).
The Trad Wife/Manosphere movement is an interesting one because half the people pushing it are secular. Weirdly, this is becoming a surprise good thing because secular conservatives are starting to put on the brakes in response to the extremism of the likes of Pearly and the Tate brothers; and smaller Christian “influencers” (such as B Haney) are starting to dig in, challenging Paul & Morgan and Brittany Dawn. What I am praying is Scripturally literate male influencers will start challenging the latter group. But the ones I’ve found are typically more focused on addressing problems in other aspects of “evangelical” Christendom (ie, Satanic panic, extreme eschatology, Christian nationalism, etc).
I would like to hear someone address the emotional labor of being a new wife who suddenly is supposed to negotiate the entire relationship with the husband's family. Is it common for a married man to start communicating with his own mother only through his wife or is that just some weird thing that only happened to me?
It's not a role I took over, but have seen this play out with friends. Since the woman is the default social scheduler, then keeping up those relationships can fall to the woman because if SHE doesn't schedule the visiting time then it doesn't happen.
I think my case might be a little unusual because it is mostly driven by my husband's mother. She sends me texts asking or telling me things that she ought to be running by him, and I'm thinking, "He's your son, don't you want to talk to him?" But I do feel that there's an expectation for women to be mind readers who with the magical addition of a wedding ring suddenly develop a prophetess' ability to know all about this family with whom she has no history and to be supernaturally wise in navigating all those relationships, including the ones between her husband and his parents.
@@TheEllaTBlook up Enmeshment; then look at your husband’s family of origin. Mama’s boy needs therapy. My strong advice don’t get pregnant until you KNOW, KNOW, KNOW that your H is emotionally mature. I am speaking this from a place of regret.
@@spikylittlemind8058my MIL did that when we were first married. We dealt with it by my responding to her texts with “I’m sure Husband would be happy to answer that question for you.” And then my husband called her and said please communicate with me directly and stop trying to go through wife.” That fixed the issue for us, and now they’re working on their relationship and I have a relationship with my MIL that is about us and not him.
Does “initiating divorce” mean the one who filled out the paperwork and filed? In my state the paperwork is nearly 100 pages long where specific info needs to be added… in my case there’s no way my soon to be ex would ever fill it out and file. (And he’s the one who wants the divorce) I fought for our marriage despite abuse on his part and he left. In the courts eyes I’m sure I’m the one “initiating” the divorce because I’m the one filing, but he’s the one who actually left (initiating the end of our marriage) Something to consider….
An interesting question for sure. In my support group of thousands of women, I often hear (and it's my cade as well) that HE initiated but in the end forced HER to do the tedious and expensive filing.
Sorry not even 5 minutes into this and they are already blowing smoke !!!! #1 did not find anything about this study in your notes to look it up for myself. #2 daughter talks about 3 reasons for divorce and makes the claim of abuse, cheating, and addiction . What she automatically infers is the 2 of those were on the male's side. Yes ok 57% but my question is maybe the woman cheated???? and found what she sees as a better partner or maybe the woman had the addiction??? That addiction, what is it.?? Could be that the woman is addicted to control and the husband refused it and she left because she could not manipulate him too. Abuse MMMMMM there is another one. I agree 110% that a man should never touch a woman in anger, Yet have you seen what some of these women do to provoke it. I have myself had to find a way to keep my wife away from me. Men and women are different. Women can talk and yell back and forth for hours, yet men do not and will not do this at all, especially with their spouse. So when there is a conflict and the wife follows the husband around the house telling him to man up and talk with her and she chases him around he will only put up with so much. Back a dog into a corner and they will fight. SO Im sorry not a misogynist here but a woman should know her place !!! With that said as a man making that claim I better know mine too. The hard part is staying in your lane when your spouse is out of theirs!!
@@SheilaWrayGregoire Yes Shella I did and sorry they are full of ducky !!!!! Sorry if you as a man are not big enough to man up sorry for you. I am and these 2 women do the same as everybody else. They put everything on their side!! You really need to look at both sides.
@@SheilaWrayGregoire Sorry ma'am you guys sound like the old feminist of old. You are part of this new male bashing society. ERA back in the 60s and 70s started all this crap. There is no way men and women could ever be equal. Are apples and oranges equal?? No although they both have great qualities they can never be the same. All that crap did was make a bunch of weak men. If women really want to be equal maybe they should go on the battle field like a man does. Watch their best friend get their head blown off and still get up and fight with a gunshot wound in their own arm. Maybe go put a roof on a house in August down in Florida as a red head. Nope sorry society destroyed manhood for most people in our country. There are very few real men out there. Most would rather be a used car salesman in a suit than go make an honest living and take care of his family. You guys have the right to call out those guys of the male idea but they are not Men. Men are totally different. Have a great day.
Lack of commitment my batootie! I *was* committed. I stayed waaaaaay longer than I should have in hopes that things would get better. 😢 His mistress was money, spending & our business. Do you know how _lonely_ it is to be in a marriage where you're told "I love you" but he treated me with contempt and hate. He didn't ever touch me the last 5-6 hrs of our marriage. He refused to have sex and when I came to him crying with my heart breaking, he said sex wasn't a big deal and called me an animal!! He laughed in my face when I tried _one more time_ to get him to come to therapy with me. He insulted my family and friends, women and black people, he even cussed out God on a pretty regular basis....which broke me every time because I know how much God loves him and I desperately wanted him to see/feel/believe this! I tried everything. Even me making myself smaller and smaller so that he would t get angry, since I was always blamed for his negative feelings. 😢 I am now remarried to an amazing man who lives God and who lives me and shows me the utmost respect and love. We are equals to one another and it works beautifully!
It takes problem solving skills to work on a marriage. So it makes sense that higher educated people end up doing better. I also believe that the highest earners only have a 25% divorce rate. Much better odds if desperation isn't your motivating factor.
I think the "Lack of Commitment" option was so vague and unclear that it should have been removed from the study. When I was listening to your podcast, I got the impression that you two weren't even sure precisely what it meant... and you're two brilliant women, so if you two can't figure it out, the average person certainly doesn't understand it either. Does "lack of commitment" mean your own personal lack of commitment for no reason? Does it mean the other person's lack of commitment to improve the marriage or to stay faithful within the marriage? Does it mean a lack of commitment due to a different issue entirely that would actually be a justifiable reason to leave a marriage? It could be any one of those three very, very different options - and given this vagueness, this option and the results have almost no meaning.
It is sad that a beautiful relationship ordained by God is being used by these influencers ( I know the woman you are talking about) is making money off their lies.
I wonder in how many cases one (or both) people did not feel valued or loved because their teauma wounds wouldn't allow them to feel it. Sothey blame the partner who is trying so hars to make their spouse feel loved, and it was futile from the beginning.
Thank you for such a insightful, and informative video. You are so right! Great marriage is great, and I’m so blessed to have a husband that was willing to put the work in, so we could have a happy marriage. Thank you ladies.🩷
Dealing with things early. I wish this is something I understand before I got married. I didn’t want to be high maintenance . I kept my mouth shut and stuffed my feelings for the first 10 years of my marriage. It wasn’t until everything fell apart and my fundie in-laws we’re literally yelling at my husband outside our house, my church was pushing me down, and my husband was completely checked out of our relationship and family. I finally stood up for myself, my marriage and my kids. It’s been three years since I changed and my husband and I are still have conversations that we should have had the first year. It’s okay to say how you feel and what you think. Everyone is important and valuable.
Thank you for sharing that! This is so similar to my story.
It's good to make some noise early on & sweat the small stuff.
I know of someone who didn't ever speak up for himself in his marriage & his relationship ended in divorce, 32 years later.
Not saying it was all his fault, by any means. His ex was a pretty bad narcissist & would emotionally & verbally abuse him.
If he had made a big deal out of her behavior early on, it would either make her see the light & realize she's being ridiculous or she'd be stubborn & he could've walked away earlier.
I heard somewhere that there was a trend that middle aged women were divorcing there husbands because they felt that after years of marriage they wanted to spend what was left of their life being happy. As a 63 Year old I felt that way during Covid. Because my husband did what ever he wanted and did all the work and carried all the mental. It was even worse during covid. I finally told him I wanted a divorce and he promised to change, and he did. I think to myself I should have done it long ago. I wonder if that is why it is a trend
I had all your stats. Abuse, rage, neglect, taken advantage of, and couldn’t leave because I had 4 kids, and have a visual handicap . It took 37 years. Thank you for your podcast.
I don’t believe for a minute that women are leaving for frivolous reasons. Sadly I do have a relative who 100% left for a frivolous reason. Selfish people give the rest of the people who need a divorce for a legitimate reason a bad name.
See, if I hear that "78% percent of couples divorced over 'lack of commitment,'" my initial impression would be that the one filing for divorce is doing so because of his/her _partner's_ lack of commitment (i.e. failing to meet basic relationship responsibilities, including maintaining a safe environment).
Also, a fifth of men leave their wives after the wife is diagnosed with a life-altering illness? I guess these guys are Pat Robertson's audience.
I found the at to be a really horrifying stat. What is wrong with these guys who would ask a woman to marry them and not provide even basic decent commitment when the going gets rough through NO FAULT OF THE WOMAN?!
And I’m curious, why the reference to Pat Robertson?
@@lisajohnson4744ua-cam.com/video/toxOBKmzh_c/v-deo.htmlsi=UCXkFuj35HSDsj-j
I know, Micah! Why on earth would they assume that it's THEIR OWN lack of commitment? Makes no sense.
@@SheilaWrayGregoire Confirmation bias?
This such good advice. I am in my mid 40's. I wish I had dealt with marriage problems back when they first happened. It is almost impossible now.
I did not want a divorce but my husband started acting like he hated me. He did this by being celibate more than 10 year, had sex with men and women(mostly men), mean actions, yelling, threaten to hit me once, told my attorney he d like to kill me(she did nothing) and had me followed to see if I cheated. I NEVER did. We went to marriage counseling and told counselor I was ugly & he did not like me any more. So advised get a divorce and join custody of children.
I am so sorry that happened to you. I'm glad you're out of that situation.
Honestly, when I was younger, my parents made me think divorce was the worst thing possible to happen to a couple. I thought that couples divorced out of laziness or just because they lost those warm fuzzies. Granted, some couples do divorce for those reasons which is dumb, but now I realize, a lot of divorces can be life saving or just good for a person's overall well-being.
I know two guys whose wives were just horrible to them. Both of their wives were emotionally & verbally abusive & even cheated on their husbands. One of the guys actually caught his wife in the act multiple times. He tried to file for divorce, but she just dragged out the whole process.
I'm so sorry. When I read your comment, I thought of how differently you will feel after time that brings some healing. Healing from this level of abuse can take a lifetime. Ask me how I know. But it's a very good journey to be on!
For us numbers challenged folk, I am wondering if you all could create a “one sheet” summary of the worst stats and how they are faulty? Maybe it would not clear things up for everyone but I m a visual learner so I feel if I could sit and look at your numbers and analysis, I might “understand” it better… maybe enough to coherently share it with my people (my sons!)? Thanks for your pursuit of life giving truth/evidence!
We've got along post coming out on the blog tomorrow going over all of this in detail for people who find it easier to learn from seeing it!
I keep wishing for some power point slides as you speak!
I would love for you to do something about non-neurotypical people and how that factors into the question of mental load. Like the classic example of autism in afab people not being picked up because they spend so much time masking (and are exhausted as a result). Of course trying to fit in to a world / situation that is created solely for neurotypical people is a huge mental load in itself.
I love your podcast,it is great,keep up the good work.
Out of all the people I know, LITERALLY the only reasons I’ve ever seen have been infidelity (like with multiple people not just once) and psychological/emotional abuse, and a lot of the time both of those things. and then one time substance abuse with illegal drugs. I’ve NEVER seen a marriage from someone I know end cause they just weren’t feeling it anymore or thought they could do better.
I have a Facebook group with almost a thousand local single moms. Infidelity and abuse are the biggest reasons for divorce I have seen. I don’t know any who left for no reason. None of them wanted to be single mothers but that was better than the abuse.
@@ashleydanielson3222 that’s so sad :/ but great you guys have built a support system
Thank you so much for running the actual numbers so we can see the whole picture! It’s about time someone challenged those who misuse statistics to shore up their misleading misogynist statements! You two are always the best❤❤❤
I love your podcast and agree with you most of the time. I really appreciate your use of statistics and the healthy view of marriage and the sex lives of Christians. I would like to make one comment, though. There are women who do not need to come to orgasm every time they have sex, yet they still love sex, enjoy it very much, and never feel "used" by their husbands. Great sex can have many aspects for women - there's orgasm and other pleasurable sensations, the warm feeling that comes with physical intimacy, the tactile pleasure of skin on skin, the delight of pleasing your husband. If spouses have a good sex life, then there should be no pressure on women to feel like they failed at something if they don't care about orgasm as much as their husbands do. For some women, they only want to cross the finish line once or twice a month, but they enjoy being in the race as often as their man wants.
As for the tradwife TikTok trend (which I have not seen and do not want to see), you need to flood the platform with young women with attractive personalities who can make equality in marriage seem fresh, sexy, and fun, which is presumably how the tradwife thing looks to those who are drawn to it. I think too many of us think of egalitarianism as having something to do with angry women yelling at you, which makes you think of your mom, which is not usually fun. (I say this as a mom myself.)
Interesting that the more educated a woman is the less likely she is to initiate a divorce. And I love that you quote poet laureate Joey Tribbiani.
That Joey quote hit home since Matt Perry died AFTER we filmed this. When I listened this morning I was like, "Wow, we didn't know..."
I think you are missing the financial motivation part of this. Woman usually get the kids and child support. Men that are being abused often can not initiate divorce because they can not afford to. I think that once 50/50 custody and child support reform happens you'll see more of a balance between who initiates divorce.
Could you do an episode of real life examples where egalitarian couples have both wanted something different but then ended up on the same page. For example, if the husband wants to live on the opposite side of the world for the rest of his life, and the wife wants to stay where she is, close to family supports, where do they end up living?
Saw the title and I'm dreading this already. The way some people abuse stats, it's awful. Hugs
Then people complain "you can prove anything with statistics" in order to ignore them when they're done well, because they don't want to make the effort to think (about, what is the right statistic, or just at all).
The Trad Wife/Manosphere movement is an interesting one because half the people pushing it are secular. Weirdly, this is becoming a surprise good thing because secular conservatives are starting to put on the brakes in response to the extremism of the likes of Pearly and the Tate brothers; and smaller Christian “influencers” (such as B Haney) are starting to dig in, challenging Paul & Morgan and Brittany Dawn.
What I am praying is Scripturally literate male influencers will start challenging the latter group. But the ones I’ve found are typically more focused on addressing problems in other aspects of “evangelical” Christendom (ie, Satanic panic, extreme eschatology, Christian nationalism, etc).
I would like to hear someone address the emotional labor of being a new wife who suddenly is supposed to negotiate the entire relationship with the husband's family. Is it common for a married man to start communicating with his own mother only through his wife or is that just some weird thing that only happened to me?
Weird. My husband would spend more time talking to his mom rather than me. But there was something wrong with Me for finding that wrong 🤦♀️
It's not a role I took over, but have seen this play out with friends. Since the woman is the default social scheduler, then keeping up those relationships can fall to the woman because if SHE doesn't schedule the visiting time then it doesn't happen.
I think my case might be a little unusual because it is mostly driven by my husband's mother. She sends me texts asking or telling me things that she ought to be running by him, and I'm thinking, "He's your son, don't you want to talk to him?" But I do feel that there's an expectation for women to be mind readers who with the magical addition of a wedding ring suddenly develop a prophetess' ability to know all about this family with whom she has no history and to be supernaturally wise in navigating all those relationships, including the ones between her husband and his parents.
@@TheEllaTBlook up Enmeshment; then look at your husband’s family of origin. Mama’s boy needs therapy. My strong advice don’t get pregnant until you KNOW, KNOW, KNOW that your H is emotionally mature. I am speaking this from a place of regret.
@@spikylittlemind8058my MIL did that when we were first married. We dealt with it by my responding to her texts with “I’m sure Husband would be happy to answer that question for you.” And then my husband called her and said please communicate with me directly and stop trying to go through wife.” That fixed the issue for us, and now they’re working on their relationship and I have a relationship with my MIL that is about us and not him.
Does “initiating divorce” mean the one who filled out the paperwork and filed? In my state the paperwork is nearly 100 pages long where specific info needs to be added… in my case there’s no way my soon to be ex would ever fill it out and file. (And he’s the one who wants the divorce) I fought for our marriage despite abuse on his part and he left. In the courts eyes I’m sure I’m the one “initiating” the divorce because I’m the one filing, but he’s the one who actually left (initiating the end of our marriage) Something to consider….
Yes, that’s what it means. I agree that it skews the statistics. From a biblical standpoint, he initiated the divorce by abusing you.
An interesting question for sure. In my support group of thousands of women, I often hear (and it's my cade as well) that HE initiated but in the end forced HER to do the tedious and expensive filing.
Sorry not even 5 minutes into this and they are already blowing smoke !!!! #1 did not find anything about this study in your notes to look it up for myself. #2 daughter talks about 3 reasons for divorce and makes the claim of abuse, cheating, and addiction . What she automatically infers is the 2 of those were on the male's side. Yes ok 57% but my question is maybe the woman cheated???? and found what she sees as a better partner or maybe the woman had the addiction??? That addiction, what is it.?? Could be that the woman is addicted to control and the husband refused it and she left because she could not manipulate him too. Abuse MMMMMM there is another one. I agree 110% that a man should never touch a woman in anger, Yet have you seen what some of these women do to provoke it. I have myself had to find a way to keep my wife away from me. Men and women are different. Women can talk and yell back and forth for hours, yet men do not and will not do this at all, especially with their spouse. So when there is a conflict and the wife follows the husband around the house telling him to man up and talk with her and she chases him around he will only put up with so much. Back a dog into a corner and they will fight. SO Im sorry not a misogynist here but a woman should know her place !!! With that said as a man making that claim I better know mine too. The hard part is staying in your lane when your spouse is out of theirs!!
You may want to actually listen, because we address all of these things, quoting the actual study.
@@SheilaWrayGregoire Yes Shella I did and sorry they are full of ducky !!!!! Sorry if you as a man are not big enough to man up sorry for you. I am and these 2 women do the same as everybody else. They put everything on their side!! You really need to look at both sides.
@@SheilaWrayGregoire Sorry ma'am you guys sound like the old feminist of old. You are part of this new male bashing society. ERA back in the 60s and 70s started all this crap. There is no way men and women could ever be equal. Are apples and oranges equal?? No although they both have great qualities they can never be the same. All that crap did was make a bunch of weak men. If women really want to be equal maybe they should go on the battle field like a man does. Watch their best friend get their head blown off and still get up and fight with a gunshot wound in their own arm. Maybe go put a roof on a house in August down in Florida as a red head. Nope sorry society destroyed manhood for most people in our country. There are very few real men out there. Most would rather be a used car salesman in a suit than go make an honest living and take care of his family. You guys have the right to call out those guys of the male idea but they are not Men. Men are totally different. Have a great day.
I really enjoyed this. Thank you very much.
Lack of commitment my batootie!
I *was* committed. I stayed waaaaaay longer than I should have in hopes that things would get better. 😢
His mistress was money, spending & our business. Do you know how _lonely_ it is to be in a marriage where you're told "I love you" but he treated me with contempt and hate. He didn't ever touch me the last 5-6 hrs of our marriage. He refused to have sex and when I came to him crying with my heart breaking, he said sex wasn't a big deal and called me an animal!! He laughed in my face when I tried _one more time_ to get him to come to therapy with me. He insulted my family and friends, women and black people, he even cussed out God on a pretty regular basis....which broke me every time because I know how much God loves him and I desperately wanted him to see/feel/believe this!
I tried everything. Even me making myself smaller and smaller so that he would t get angry, since I was always blamed for his negative feelings. 😢
I am now remarried to an amazing man who lives God and who lives me and shows me the utmost respect and love. We are equals to one another and it works beautifully!
Godspeed
It takes problem solving skills to work on a marriage. So it makes sense that higher educated people end up doing better. I also believe that the highest earners only have a 25% divorce rate. Much better odds if desperation isn't your motivating factor.
I think the "Lack of Commitment" option was so vague and unclear that it should have been removed from the study. When I was listening to your podcast, I got the impression that you two weren't even sure precisely what it meant... and you're two brilliant women, so if you two can't figure it out, the average person certainly doesn't understand it either.
Does "lack of commitment" mean your own personal lack of commitment for no reason? Does it mean the other person's lack of commitment to improve the marriage or to stay faithful within the marriage? Does it mean a lack of commitment due to a different issue entirely that would actually be a justifiable reason to leave a marriage?
It could be any one of those three very, very different options - and given this vagueness, this option and the results have almost no meaning.
It is sad that a beautiful relationship ordained by God is being used by these influencers ( I know the woman you are talking about) is making money off their lies.
Well according to a "wife" that I don't name further it's even up to 80% and all the woman's fault off corse...So sad...
I wonder in how many cases one (or both) people did not feel valued or loved because their teauma wounds wouldn't allow them to feel it. Sothey blame the partner who is trying so hars to make their spouse feel loved, and it was futile from the beginning.
Men just suck😂.. my dad left over illness.
Thank you for such a insightful, and informative video. You are so right! Great marriage is great, and I’m so blessed to have a husband that was
willing to put the work in, so we could have a happy marriage.
Thank you ladies.🩷
On your own song lyrics by Patty's 🏷 lyrics ❤️ lyrics ❤️ happy times ⏲️