Why is Emerson Eggerichs Afraid of Women Talking? A Deep Dive into Love & Respect - Episode 220
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- Опубліковано 4 жов 2024
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Our summary of the issues with Love & Respect baremarriage.c...
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Our podcast looking at the way he downplayed abuse in a sermon series at Houston First Baptist Church baremarriage.c...
Our look at how Emerson Eggerichs misuses Scripture in Love & Respect
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The problems with hierarchy in marriage (Keith’s Danvers statement series) baremarriage.c...
Check out Andrew Bauman’s Christian Counseling Center for Sexual Health and Trauma: christiancc.org/
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Omg. He lost me at “You women”. His tone is so so disrespectful. He is a slime ball. I’m so glad y’all are calling this out!
Right? “Women are very teachable.” I don’t even talk about kids that way. That’s how I encourage people when dealing with stubborn pets, not people. 🙄
@@rivendells_shonaTHAT was the comment that got me too.
I 👏 am 👏 not 👏 a dog 👏
@@rivendells_shonaI've heard this in different guises. Men wanting women to be "mouldable", like Playdoh.
That "You women are so impatient" - WOW!! That's satan speaking - sowing discord by putting ALL women in a pink box and all women in a blue box. His teaching and solution to marriage has no sound biblical foundation. The gospel gives freedom, this book is the opposite.
All the watching in silence reminds me of is a mother watching her child in feigned awe of his abilities... sounds like mommy issues
Definite mommy issues at the very least. He does say how his mom was strangled by his dad (to be clear that would be attempted murder in a legal sense in most states) and how he praises his mom for learning to respect his dad -- so that the dad doesn't do that again. It is SO messed up, and yes mommy issues. He seems to have some contempt towards his mom when he talks about her -- as if he decided that it was her fault (for disrespecting her husband) that the husband ( *I cannot stress this enough*) strangled (aka *attempted murder* ) his own wife.
Children often blame themselves for what happens, but also can blame the safer parent. It is a way to feel safe and to make sense of the trauma they witnessed. It is heartbreaking, but also a reason to NOT take his opinions and teachings as gospel.
Yeah, guys like this don't want actual companionship, they want a captive audience. 🤮 Keith nailed it with his comment on this being total idolatry.
@calculigirl03 my thoughts exactly! How juvenile does a man have to be to demand that his wife come watch him paint a freakin WALL!!
What a wonderful talk!
I am an extrovert and my husband is an introvert, but he can talk! 😊
He obviously feels at ease, and comfortable sharing his feelings, thoughts and experiences with me, and I with him.
I’m so grateful we can sit quietly together, engaging in conversations together, and celebrate and appreciate our differences. I’m very thankful my for a husband who appreciates me, and loves and respects me just the way I am.😊🙏🏾😊
Love this for you! This is how it is with me and my hubby, too.
My ex husband? No. When I left, I realized that he was a complete stranger. I wanted to know him but he wouldn't let me in, and he had no desire to know me at all, he wanted a mini-him. 😢
God has blessed me mightily since I left!
Yay!! Dr. Keith is BAAAACCKKK!!!!
This is such a good conversation! As a mom of 5 sons, it hasn’t been since my sons were little or in elementary school that they wanted me to sit and watch them for long periods doing an activity. They are all pretty secure as young adults now. They enjoy my presences and I enjoy spending time with them but understand that myself and they have schedules and lives! I went to an Egger Emerson conference a few years ago and it made me feel like such a terrible wife but in my situation, I was actually in a really abusive marriage and was being encouraged to just pray more for my husband, submit more or give him more sex. That can be very dangerous advice!
Yes, the idea that women just sit and watch is really more akin to what we do for small children, not for teens, let alone grown adults.
I’m so happy I never heard that awful advice. My husband and I enjoy talking to each other lol. We are equals and both value what the other person says.
But as far as shoulder to shoulder; he likes playing video games and I like crocheting. So we a lot of the time hang out on the couch and he does his games and I crochet, and it’s nice.
Mark Twain's Christian Clothes
Innocents Abroad
In 1867, Mark Twain, the esteemed author of Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Fin, took a vacation through Europe and the Middle East. As he toured, he kept a travel diary that he later published under the title of, The Innocents Abroad. Today, many countries wear western clothing as their daily attire, jeans and a t-shirt or a suit and tie, but back then, each country wore their traditional dress. I would have found that fascinating. Mark Twain would have seen fez hats and harem pants in Turkey, saia skirts and sombreros in Portugal, pleated foustanella kilts and black, pointed, pom-pom shoes in Greece and embroidered dirndl and hats decked with flowers and fruit when he toured Italy.
While trekking through the Middle East, Mark Twain referred to his own clothing as “Christian clothing,” but although Mark, and many Americans and Europeans of his time, dressed the part, Mark Twain’s clothes cloaked an unchristian heart. I say this because Ray Comfort, in his book, Mark Twain: A Christian Response to His Battle with God, points out that Mark felt “embittered toward God” because the God of Christianity doesn’t approve of fornication or adultery and states that sex will no longer exist in Heaven. Purity Culture often taught women that what we wear reflects our heart, but here, Mark Twain poses as a glaring example of the falseness of that claim.
Different Reasons
Mark’s travel diary, The Innocents Abroad, supplies another example of the inaccuracy of this assertion. In his diary, he recounts that while he toured Egypt, the Muslim women, who wore burqas and hijabs, would pull their veils away from their faces and would pout and make kissing movements with their lips at him and the other western men in his travelling group, when their Islamic male escorts faced away from them. If what a woman wears reflects the humility of a woman’s heart, then surely we must hold up Islamic women, who dress so modestly they cover their faces, as the gold standard, but we can’t because the Islamic women of Mark Twain’s time, by their behaviour, showed, that despite their clothing, they did not have modest hearts. Even today, Islamic women don’t dress the way they do because they have a godly prudency. Instead, Islamic women dress in burqas and hijabs because their hearts have chosen idolatry over worshipping the one true God, and we can’t hold them up as examples of chastity either because Islamic wives sometimes share their husbands with multiple women. That’s adultery, but they vehemently defend this sin, labelling it as kind and moral.
During Purity Culture’s heyday, no matter what I wore at church or even out in my community, my clothing was deemed immodest. In exasperation, I finally asked the men, who angrily reprimanded me, if they could provide me with pictures of women they believed had modest outfits on, but they refused. So, I asked if they could identify women in the street we stood in who they believed had on modest outfits but, again, they refused. “You know what we’re talking about they would say” or “Don’t wear anything that draws attention away from your face,” but all clothing draws attention away from people’s faces. When I meet people, I automatically look at what they have on. I can’t help it. Where else can you look? It's right there in front of you.
Later, I played on a sports team that had a few women in it who practiced lesbianism and some women who probably use male or genderless pronouns now. They advised me that if I wanted less male attention, I should wear longer, higher-necked and less tight clothing, like they did. I found that revelatory. These women didn’t dress “modestly” because they had pure hearts, these women dressed “modestly” because they had hearts that enjoyed practicing lesbianism, spurnin men. Here lies another example of Purity Culture’s false allegation that what you wear always reflects what’s going on inside your heart.
Once, after a church service, I heard an old woman compliment a young woman on the strappy summer dress she wore. “You look beautiful,” she gushed. I wish I could wear clothes like that, but I’m old and ugly now. My skin would look terrible.” Fascinating, I thought. Yet another instance that sometimes clothing reflects diddly-squat about the purity of your heart, and as the evidence grows ever higher, I hope churches will start teaching that.
Different Teaching
In my own circumstances, the “inappropriate” clothing I wore reflected that, financially, I had bombed and would have loved assistance in obtaining the clothing I so desperately needed back then. It also reflected that I’d never had sex, had a date, kissed a boy, watched dirty movies and that I’d tried hard at blocking out dirty jokes I heard in the school yard and staff room, the best I could, just like churches teach. It also showed that I was copying older, possibly more experienced, women I saw in my community and even at church, and in these circumstances, we can show young girls more kindness than we have in the past by relabelling dressing modestly to dressing educatedly. Because young girls don’t know anything about men and sex. Their problem is not a lack of modesty, it’s a lack of knowledge.
We should also instruct boys about the many reasons why girls wear what they wear because when you teach boys that vanity is the only reason a girl might not have “appropriate” clothing on, some of them behave sexually towards those girls because they believe “inappropriately” dressed women are wanting to seduce them. That’s not enjoyable for the girls involved, and it must stop.
References:
The Innocents Abroad by Mark Twain
Mark Twain: A Christian Response to His Battle with God by Ray Comfort
Yay, Keith 😅 Pack lunches with your wife 😂
Or “get the freakin housework done” 😂 We love Keith so much!
In the fiest few months of my 19 year marriage -- my ex was very angry at me for talking.. for being happy and chatty.. for trying to kiss him good bye ("I don't have TIME for this!!!") He behaved as if he wanted me to sit quietly and not say anything. Later he convinced me that my excited interruptions in a conversation ("oh do you mean this?") engagment was "disrespectful" so I learned to not interrupt. He would monologue and I would try to pay attention without showing my natural enthusiasm or chatiness to engage with the conversation. When learning a new board game at a part that I didn't understand and was asking questions about so that I could understand, he told me that I just needed to trust him. As if trying to understand the rules of a game and asking questions was "challenging" his authority and not trusting him enough.
My x had severe trauma and mental health struggles. I suspect a personality disorder as well though that part wasn't diagnosed. But it is the only thing that makes sense to the two decades of tiny things I observed. My x did not want to be abusive and I think he truly did try not to be, and try to be a better person. I point out these things simply to say that the advice E.E. gives never made anything better and if anything caused more issues between us.
Also, it didn't matter how much I backed off and said less and didn't expect mutual, even bare minimum behavior in our marriage. It didn't matter how many egg shells I walked on. It didn't matter if I was literally whispering -- he would say I was yelling. I could be absolutely perfectly calm and unemotional and collected, but because of HIS trauma and mental illness, his reality did not actually match the reality that a third person would have witnessed standing in the room with us.
I don't know if we could have stayed together if we had actually gotten healthy marriage advice sooner. I do think that my former husband could have gotten help sooner and would have suffered less from his mental illness over the years if there were better and healtheir teachings about marriage (and mental health) than what we got.
I'm sorry
I remember in the 80s, 90s, and early 2000s where men and women must be totally different in all ways. I used to sarcastically wonder if how can we get along if we have nothing in common. Anyway, this men need respect and women need love is from that nonsense. By the way, if you love someone, you show them respect, and women need respect and men need love!
Love is respect and respect is love. They’re one and the same. Love is the imperative given to us by Christ.
18:46 I can see it now….
Me: sits completely silent staring at my husband while he does a project
Him: what the heck is wrong with you weirdo, stop creeping me out and help me 🤣 (playful and joking)
But on a serious note I got this book as a marriage gift and it messed with my thinking so much. Looking back I can’t believe the supposedly mature married people viewed this as ok and pushed it so stinkin much!
My husband loves legos and when he works on a new project, sometimes he wants me to see a cool piece or mechanism, but he never asks me to watch him. I usually work on a craft or watch TV while he does his legos. Then when it’s time for me to do the dishes, he stops his legos because he doesn’t want me to do dishes alone. I am so blessed to be married to my husband! Even when he’s too tired he doesn’t mind if I talk to him, he just warns me that he struggles to pay attention, but he has never once expected me to be quiet.
Ahh, speaking as someone who came out of an abusive relationship, as a woman, I would like respect. I feel that love and respect walk hand in hand. It’s the complimentary package that both men and women require for a relationship to thrive.
I'm grateful to see the back end of the era of these books being popular. It's time for a fresh new start for healthy, Godly marriages!! The way God intended ❤
The books you gals are putting out along with many others, IS this fresh start~ a new change in the tides of Christian marriage books and teachings!
THANK YOU!!! ❤
I think the stoic silence has caused a great deal of harm both to the silent one and their family 😮😅
20:48
"What kind of man would want this kind of wife?"
Answer: a narcissist.
I know this term is thrown around a lot but I was married to a man like this. He wanted me to be seen but not heard. 14 years with that person and when I finally left, he was _still_ a stranger to me, and I was a stranger to him.
He wanted me with him all the time, and we worked a business together. Can you imagine going on a picking trip, 12 hours each way and NOT TALKING about ANYTHING?? He never wanted me to lead, he never wanted me to give him suggestions (if I did, he'd rage) and he always wanted me standing there doing _nothing_ and just be there watching him until or IF he needed me for something. It was BIZARRE!! 😵💫
Not to mention all the things he was doing (yelling, complaining, punching things, breaking things, road rage, etc) screamed to me that he hated me....but yet he never wanted me to stay home or see friends and family.
Utterly bizarre.
Narcissists want an audience and want adoration, even when they screw up!
for all it's worth im sorry you are going through that
Oh! I have an idea. What for I record him painting on my phone, then in all my free time I could sit and watch the video again.
😂😂
Keith and Andrew Beauman! You're spoiling us
Right?! LOVE these men!!!❤❤❤
Wow. I was a few seconds into Eggerich's talk and wondered how my husband and I have thrived through almost 40 years of marriage without this advice.
My husband knew I didn't like football before we got married. I have tried to watch with him, but I don't understand the game and ask too many questions. And no matter how much he has patiently tried to educate me, it still doesn't make sense. So it just doesn't open up grand avenues of communication for us.
And why would any woman sit and lounge around while her husband painted the house???? Um, no. I would be there painting along side him. Or at the very least being his "gopher" so he didn't have to keep climbing up and down the ladder.
Not sure I can watch the rest.
Just a thought: messages like love&respect, wild at heart, captivating are very easily accessible and freely available through library apps etc. Hence people can borrow these books with toxic messages more readily and their message is out there first/superiorly. I really appreciated your insights through scientific methods soo much!!❤ When I first learned about the Love&Respect ideas from Eggerich, Eldredge etc, I was shattered inside and distorted my view of God. I thought how have I missed that? Is that really true? I've read the bible since I was 8 years old and always believed in the beauty of emotionally intelligent women and men - never this major apparent dynamic emotional difference described by the above named toxic-msg-authors.
Appreciated the therapist work too❤ about how capable men are of feeling emotions and wanting connections deeply ❤. I continue to have to unlearn the toxic messages in my head from having read those books just once 😮
So Eggrich thinks a blow up doll would work then. No speaking and just watching. It's creepy and gross how he thinks women should be. He doesn't want to have to give anything to women that she needs, like um, conversation.
"You sit there and watch me paint, don't talk, ahhh thank you, you've refreshed me." LIKE???? my husband would be like why are you ignoring me are you upset? 🤣 Emerson needs to be banned from writing marriage books. Period.
My husband was an introvert, but the man never shut up 😂.
😅😅😅😅😅😅
This was recommended to me so many times. And just the title set me off. I was like no everyone needs respect and love. And I hadn’t even read it yet
If he's reading a book, can't I grab a book too or play on my phone ? That's weird
Eggerich says that women should win their husbands to the Lord in silence. Is he still waiting to be won??
These men really have not done their work. It is lazy, disgusting, and a smear on the Christian church.
10:31 Keith: "It's like total idolatry."
Yup. My daughter once said to me, "If being married means having a man stand between me and God, then I would rather stay single."
I knew then homeschooling in relationship with families who believed this, but quasi- practiced it had been detrimental in that regard.
I’m so glad that I never read this book when I received it as a wedding gift. I might have stayed even longer.
So interesting. I just turned 48 and listening to Eggerichs's quotes, I get the impression that he is generalizing truth from his personal experience or geographical or generational norms. I had skimmed through the book a number of years ago because an older man in my church thought it was the best thing ever. I grew tired with what could have been a short pamphlet. Guess I should have read more closely. When I reflect on the kind of advice I would give to my kids or engaged couples, I realize that none of Eggerichs's advice would ever even enter my head.
Wow, okay, so just watching E.E. describing how the guy wanted her to watch him paint--- COULD it be that (because I like to study childhood developmental stuff and trauma connected to how we show up as adults) that someone who is energized by and wants to be seen while doing something like that (without her saying anything) COULD it be that *possibly* the childhood wound, or the need as a child that was missed, for that person is not being admired. Think of a little kid who is like "watch me watch me watch me!! Mommy look at me !!" And now.. what if that child in that moment didn't get that healthy mirroring and just a basic nod and smile from a parent figure. That child *could* grow up feeling a deficit as an adult in just needing someone to see what they are doing. All that to say that this would be an individuals issue and not to lay across an entire gender as E.E. does. It also wouldn't help for the wife to them be the mother role to the husband. He would need to see his own wound/trigger and realize that what he is wanting as an adult, he has to learn to give to himself. He needs to reparent his younger self and not expect or demand that from his wife. And a healthier person could potentially do some of both. They could appreciate when their wife met them half way so to speak, but is she now obligated to always watch him paint? Does he *need* that now because he didn't get a need met at the correct developmental age?
Anyway, so often (for all of us) issues that were off in childhood (and we all have something because we are all imperfect humans!) It WILL show up in our adult relationships. E.E. tends to take his own issues (it seems) and make it make sense to himself by saying that is just how men are. Men are this specific way and you can't do anything about it except to pander to the guy and be "teachable" (aka "trainable") to become whatever he needs to fill that hole that he just (apparently) innately has for being a guy.
Before I studied mental health, trauma, attachment, healthy relationships and so on, I did not pick up on how toxic his teachings actually are. I mostly remember just feeling confused!
He said that men just know what is respectful, but how? How is someone not being respectful when they ask a question? It was all based on how the man FELT disrespected in the end. It was this extremely emotional, fragile man who can't face his own issues and instead tries to normalize unhealthy behaviors and coerce women into catering to his immaturity.
I think you're definitely on to something! Given how awful his childhood was, I think so much of his writing is trying to make up for childhood wounds, but instead of realizing how traumatized he was, he decided to project these things onto all men and externalize them, so that it wasn't his problem, but her problem.
@@SheilaWrayGregoire also, I just finished reading "the covert passive aggressive narcist" and learning about narcist personality disorder. Not going to diagnose anyone, BUT I am noticing what things he and other leaders have taught about guys and relationships, I can see how it is the same/similar view as what a narcissist would want to teach everyone around them-- how to cater to what they want. It isn't teaching healthy relationships at all - it is justifying his own behavior while covertly manipulating women into serving his needs. And actually keeping the guy from growing up. We all bump against each other's wounds and triggers (and there are reasons why we behave the way we do) but we can make excuses and stay the same, or we can face our own triggers and choose to learn and grow.
Notice how often E.E. is teaching women and thankful for how teachable women are, yet doesn't have that same view about men. What do men need to learn? It is there a little but so very one sided. So much of his teaching is about how to convince women to change their behavior for the men. The biggest issue is that a fruit of the spirit is "self control" -- not other control! He just says everything so gently and nicely that people hear the sound of his voice and miss the toxic messages underneath.
@@SheilaWrayGregoireyes, he definitely picked up on the disrespect of women from his father, and subtly blames his mother in his words for the abuse she suffered.
YES! YES! YES!!!!!!
This is the convo going around right now! That Christian authors have been writing books out of their own wounds, giving advice out of their own experiences of trauma that they _haven't addressed in themselves yet_ and are giving advice from that place!
Well said 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
Just watching EE pantomime the painting the other man was doing, grinning and looking back, was like a little kid eagerly hoping for approval from his parent!
Excellent,thanks for sharing this 😅
“women are very teachable”?!?? Are you kidding me. We aren’t children.
Men sharing feelings? What about David?
Which episode has the podcast where did he not recognize marital rape?? I'm mid divorce and him raping me was a part of why I've left (along with manipulating me into polygamy and being ultra patriarchal, among other issues). He sent me this video recently like it just explains all our issues. Like pink vs blue was our only problem. And he believes it's not rape in marriage because the husband owns his wife's body.
So I would love to see that podcast breaking down why that is so problematic.
If he has other women, you can biblically divorce him
@heathersnyder8789 I did, finally. When I told my bishop what was really happening he said I'm not allowed to take condemnation from anyone. 💜
10:40 Keith: "What kind of partnership is this?"
That's the problem. It isn't. Nor do those who believe in one way authority/submission think it was instituted by God to be so. They believe in a corporate model with one person (always the man) as the CEO and the wife as the administrative assistant. Employer-employee but with fringe benefits of sex....when the CEO wants it/demands it.
I just don't see Adam saying to Eve when he first saw her, "wow! someone to finally watch me while I do the manly task of gardening and then fix my lunch, wash my body (no clothes to launder yet), give me sex so I can be pleasured and she can bear and raise the kids 'she' had while I sit around and tinker and invent stuff."
Nope. He didn't say that. He was excited that there was someone like him so that he didn't feel so alone. Someone to share with....bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh.
I married a man just as entitled as Emerson. It was horribly abusive. It is not an overstatement to call it soul murder. Five years after divorce I’m not just free of him but the doctrines that kept me in a dependent position, not allowed to be a separate human being, with equal value. I will never be in any kind of intimate relationship where I don’t have equal power.
I painted the outside our house with my husband for 5 weeks for 12 houses and said nothing. Now we are separated .😢
This isn't meant to sound facetious, but the couple sitting together with the woman remaining silent is pretty much the same as being an Emotional Support Animal.
These men who would agree with love and respect would also love the proper care and feeding of husbands book. It's a religious spirit. God made Eve for Adam right? Don't be afraid but be like Sarah and call me lord.... that's what I was told.. and go home and submit. Is this the great deception??? Read the pther half of the army. Best 10$ you'll ever spend! Then you'll understand in the original language what the Bible actually says!! Don't just sit in church and not go read to check it.
'Get a dog, dude!' Yes!
Eggerichs had an abusive father and I know this is speculation, but I’m going to guess it went something like this:
Father is verbally and emotionally abusive to mom through the years. But most of it is not caught by little child Eggerichs.
What he does notice is mom is stressed and angry. Her cortisol is probably though the roof. She probably has sleep issues. And maybe, her anger comes out at the kids.
And like many abused kids, they think, “Why does mom make dad so angry? Why doesn’t she just do the right thing? Dad said if she’d just do the right thing he wouldn’t have to be so angry at us. And why is mom yelling at me again? I didn’t even do anything. She causes all the problems around here.
The dad, though, has control, so he can let go of the anger quickly and even be fun. He can quietly say some passive aggressive thing in her ear to get a rose out of her so the kids can see who the problem is. Because he’s not the one twisted inside from abuse, he can switch to being jolly, while the mom struggles with anger and despair. So, on the surface it looks like mom is the problem.
And now Eggerichs goes around telling all the ladies what he wished he could have told his mom. She should’ve walked on eggshells at all times So he could be safe.
Obviously speculative. But I’ve seen this rodeo before.
Yes, as a child EE witnessed his father strangling his mother, but in his marriage advice he tends to portray this as "mother learned to respect father later on and this stopped." So he lays the blame on his mom for sure.
Been watching my marriage? 🤣
Sometimes when a little boy witnesses abuse he will grow to identify with the aggressor out of fear--he sure doesn't want to be the victim. But that doesn't give him license to pass the abuse on to people he presumes to lead. Disgraceful!
How old is this dude? Wow what a sincerely mislead man.😮
He's around 70 I believe. The book is 20 years old now, and he's done huge conferences all over the world on it.
I may be Christian, but i won't date evangelical. That they endiorse this 😮. I'm a widow. I am considering entering the dating world. But I won't settle, and I absolutely can make it alone.
Right on! Me too
Men do love recreational companionship, but.... his ego should not be so fragile that he can't handle her having a brain and voicing an opinion. She should do that with respect, but she gets space and respect too considering God told her to have dominion on the Earth and she is an heir to the Kingdom. Regard each other according to the spirit, not the flesh. Those crappy books are all flesh. Not at all in any way, Biblical.
I am currently reading the book 📖, because it has been advised by many trusted people around me and my husband. (Interestingly the recommendation came mostly from women...) So far, I see the general idea based on the bible verses in Ephesians 5 and agree with the biblical statement. Yet, I don't necessarily see eye to eye with the author's interpretation and added stressors...
For myself I know I haven't understood at the beginning how to show respect to my husband, which I certainly need to, but that also came from not having known him enough and never having been married before... So much new territory to discover! There are things he sees as respect I never would have guessed and on the other hand my husband doesn't think something is disrespectful when it for me screams disrespect...
So, at times even when I try my best, I can see it's my husband's trauma and triggers that make him demand respect due to misinterpreting the way I am, talk and walk. And vice versa my triggers made me not respond always lovingly or respectful... Also, we both are from 2 different European countries and grew up completely differently, having different mother tongues, trying to communicate with the common learned language (of love... jk... 😂 English! Yet he learned English in Ireland and I in Texas 😂), so because of this so much room for misinterpretation... And all of this plays a part in our relationship that cannot be only addressed with general unconditional love and respect. The Lord wants us to seek Him for wisdom and knowledge and understanding and then apply it. So in every situation the Lord leads me to know how to act, how to love, how to respect and how to guard my own heart for the times my beloved husband is not returning the favor in loving and respecting me... Then I seek the Lord to be able to forgive and how to extend mercy and grace to live again in peace.
Anyway, thank you for sharing this podcast, I will finish reading the book with extra caution 🧐⚠️🙏
It would be pretty obvious today in light of the best marriage counselors such as the Gottmans that Eggerichs’ witness of his father’s violence toward his wife, Emerson’s mother, had the effect it has on many children: to identify with the aggressor. Until he has processed his own issues he will never be qualified to advise couples on their relationship dynamics.
I wonder what advice she would give to someone who wants to love men but has not good experiences with them.
Wanna bet? After I talk to customers all day, I'm done talking 😂
This Eggerichs person seems softer than Kleenex.
(New guy to your page - YT & FB - and MYSTIFIED by all this toxic masculine BS!)
I'm sorry, where in the Bible are we to take examples to extremes and out of context to smear other Christians. This podcast is sinful in its approach. I'm not here to worship Emerson or anything like that, but taking things out of context to make a point to another believer who spends his life trying to help marriages is exactly what the devil wants Christians doing.
So, to be clear, you think it's totally emotionally healthy and absolutely normal to tell women that they should watch their husbands read a book or paint a wall, while doing absolutely nothing and not talking at all? This is totally a-okay and good?
But he isn't spending his life actually helping marriages. That *could* be his intention, but that is not the outcome. We need to judge a tree by its fruit to know if a teacher is teaching something helpful and from God or harmful and of the devil. His teachings produce harm (bad fruit) therefore, his principles ARE harmful (bad tree)-- does this mean he is intentionally causing harm. Nope, but if the fruit from a teaching is bad then the teaching is bad. We cannot ignore the fruit because someone intends for the outcome to be good.
The devil actually wants us to call bad fruit good and keep causing harm to people instead of calling out false teachers. Again, is E.E. intentionally twisting scripture and research to make his point or is he accidentally causing harm because he is teaching others from his own unhealed trauma? It doesn't actually matter. What matters is NOT taking and eating the rotten fruit. And also to tell others not to swallow it!
There are also verses about wolves in sheep's clothing that could apply to E.E. and his harmful teaching. We are very quick to forgive, but generally are quicker to forgive and excuse people in power who gain a lot of followers rather than supporting and helping the little people who those men in power have harmed through their false teaching.
Also, can you please tell me where I took things out of context? I played HIS ENTIRE INSTAGRAM REEL, that he put out on social media. I included all the context he thought was necessary. Was HE taking himself out of context?
Cool video