This lady creeps me out, in a good way. She's speaking to me 100% and it's obvious that she's lived through it all and knows it all. Every bloody negative thought. I actually started laughing because she just knows it all. Like she can read people's hearts. I'm not really religious but I do believe God has blessed her with some sort of inner reality in order to help others. Melanie you are amazing, please continue doing what you're doing xx
Awww hun I didn't mean to creep you out!! Thank you for your kind words and, YES!, I have lived it, been through it and healed from it and it is now my mission to help anyone who wants to heal from Victim to Thriver from Narcissistic Abuse. Love and blessings Dear One xoxox
Thinking the same thing! Wow! Just Wow! I am resisting letting go of the negative thoughts! It just sounds crazy when I type that out because WHY logically would I resist letting go of negativity? Now I know! I have to believe there is another side to the world I am living in, one where I love me no matter who thinks, says, or does whatever they do.
Thank you Melanie for your videos. When I finally escaped my parents and brother I went into a deep depression. Once I finally figured out what was happening to me, it's like I went into shock and disbelief. Then when I tried to put my life back together it's like I couldn't move. All my energy was spent analyzing 35 years of constant abuse and gas lighting. I'm finally ready to repair my connection to myself and your videos are helping facilitate that wonderfully. Thank you for helping me understand that this is ultimately a journey back to ourselves, and no longer resenting them or holding negativity toward them. But instead to transmute that energy into more self-love.
No! After narc abuse you should really realize how great you are and always have been even when you needed more improvements to be who you are today. But that doesn't happen until you educate yourself on what happened to you and who the person really was that did it "to you" more like for you. If you are wondering why you are not attracting new love or new sex partners into your lives after the narc it's because you are much smarter now and have higher standards and stronger boundaries! So you no longer attract the same types of lovers you used to. That's a good thing because you should want more!
So true, Carl Wright!! This is such an opportunity for personal ascension in a brand new upward trajectory!! Finally, we get to reach within and heal our past wounds like never before . It's so exciting!! xoxox
I have been struggling with this my whole life. I became 40 and feel so alone even I am smart, passionate, educated and very independant, I travel the world on own.. and now again single. Why I keep attracting these guys who cannot commit who I want to 'safe'? Why do they fast after they dumped me have someone else and feeling 'good'? Refilled there energies whilst I feel confused, heart broken and lost? I start wondering weither it is not me being a complicated and super high sensitive person. If narcissism is a disaese why they can keep attracting women? I bet he has someone already and that is why he left cos he knows he showed his true colours. He said to me in the beginning: i am afraid to love, I am afraid you will see my mistakes, I am afraid of everything. And I am afraid that I need to leave my mother. (For me she is his trauma and his dad him leaving when he was a jid and his mother keeping him at arm lenght, replacing him for the father) so unhealthy situation. Ooh boy I has been months and I just can'g get over it. I bet he forget me completely and moved on I do still think of him and somehow I hope he just tells me he was so wrong he got therapy and he missed and wants to be with me. But I know this will never happen because he has no money for that and he thinks he is perfect. I also said to him I wanted to pay for a psychologist.
Your right about that ......we are all have a victims of narcs once i let loose of the narc you know my skin is melow and brown now i look ten or fifteen years younger I'm glowing and skin look like a new born baby biblically speaking ...... I'm indeed in love with myself!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!$
@@jillmariaplatteaux6083 stay away from narcs !!! Narcs have ruined millions of lives in this universe!!!!!! I have suffer so much through narcs biblically speaking .......now iam in love with myself after discarding toxic and delusional people in my life !!!!!!! I'm going back to school and do something fruitful and miningful with my life .......due to the cptsd and trauma that i have been experiencing I'm so exhausted and trained !!!! No more people pleasing and codependency!!!!! Don't get me wrong i love people with all my heart !!!!!!
In 2015 i had an out of body experience. There was a being that accompanied me in this out of body experience that answered my questions. The being showed me various peoples love voltage levels and explained were all at different levels due to fear suppressing.it told me through self help work of " losing the fear" this was how we'd evolve. Your teaching really rings home to me. I understand from some people's perspective " out of body experience " sounds crazy but i assure you it did happen and need no validation from the outside.
@@literallysarcastic7704 this being is not of God, repent and turn to Jesus Christ. This could be a demon and you need deliverance. The answer is not JUST losing fear. You lose fear by living with Jesus Christ. Psalm 55:22 Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken.
Omg...you actually have The Answer!! Every SoNA (Survivor of Narcissistic Abuse) has to watch this!! I was not able to attract better treatment from my parents (1 covert narcissist, 1 codependent enabler) because that's exactly what I needed to LEARN to attract! ! This sort of thinking allows us to take control of the problem and begin resolving rather than blaming. What would I like to see more of in my life? I'd like more loving attention I'd like to feel desirable and worthy of a loving long term relationship. I'd like respect from family members, etc.
Thank goodness I found your channel because it's hard as hell healing alone. After what he put me through. (The Narcissist) caused me trauma, stress and turmoil.
It's so crazy that I signed up but had to come back and leave. Comment because this is exactly what I been lookin for somebody that understands.... And this post even before doing homework has took me out of feeling depressed this morning and it just did something to my soul.... Im still about to do my homework but I just love this video. I pray who reading this get the feeling my soul feels... 😍
I love your work, Melanie. What I like about it the most is how tangible your content is, devoid of denial and full of much-needed clarity. Your work was sent to me by my Higher Power. Two years ago, at the beginning of my journey, I already had an understanding of the dysfunction in my family of origin. However, I was suffering from massive anxiety attacks, depression and most of all I was really confused. I started praying to God to give me a sign as to why those things happen to me. And your video popped up on my UA-cam feed called "Why narcissists target lightworkers" or something like that. I have been following a couple of healers/therapists that deal with this topic on UA-cam. But the more I am healing with NARP, the less I need anything else. As the family scapegoat, I am grateful that I have access to such a powerful healing tool. There is really nothing else to do.
Once I realized I am married to a narcissist I haven’t had a conversation with him in 6 months and I have a separate room. He doesn’t care because he never cared. As soon as the house sells we go our separate ways. Not speaking to him is wonderful and going and doing what I want is pure freedom. I’m hoping he will leave but all he does is go to work watch tv and go to bed and he looks awful. He needs to torment someone before he withers away to nothing. I’m serious these narcs are addicted to hurting others and playing mind games. I absolutely could careless he’s always loved frustrating me and hurting me emotionally and yes I am an empath. I can’t stand him. When I see him it’s like he’s not there. I know that sounds crazy but that’s how I feel. For someone who feels things deeply I find it odd that I feel nothing when I look at him not even anger anymore. You’re videos are helping me heal. ❤️
Be careful. You are probably emotionally numb. The pain will catch up with you, but at least you know what you are dealiing with. Sounds like my situation but I didn't know what he was until a year after I asked him to leave because of the excessive silent treatments. After he found someone else he really ramped up the abuse and behaved like didn't exist or have any feeling at all. I was in denial for a year and I was still allowing him in my life. Now I am no contact and it is much better that way. Good luck. Go no contact as soon as you can.
Melanie, to me, after 50 yrs of being targeted by npd older sister, this is the best, most educational, compassionate-- I could go on and on....video I've watched-- now I have to grasp how to up level trauma from my body...thank you, the positive karma you are creating is eternal 💥💕🌈🍀☘️many many thanks
Thank you Godzilla man. I would love to show you how to up level the trauma by inviting you to the free webinar so you can experience a Quanta Freedom Healing for yourself xoxox www.melanietoniaevans.com/freewebinar
My dad is a narcissist, and I feel like he projects another image of me , I feel people see myself image different due to my dad's projections. I don't know if people see me the way I see myself.
My narcissistic soon to be ex husband is a living nightmare. I left him for good in July of 2018 as our son who was 2 at the time saw him calling me out my name and saying he was gonna bit the ish out of me. He is a liar and can put on a front in a second. The first 3 years we were together we got into occasional arguments, but nothing out of the ordinary until March 2016 when I was 8 months pregnant with our son and married going on 2 yrs at the time, he flipped the script and out of his mind and tried to throw a barstool at me then slammed it down and came at me with his fists. It was 2:46 am and luckily I had my cell phone in my pajama bottom pocket and I swiped my keys as he was yelling at me to get the **** out of our apt. I went home to my parent's house and ever since then he spiraled more and more into his rages. He told me 3 nights after we brought our son home that he's really not perfect as he says. I told him I know, bc no one's perfect. He then told me he has anger issues. I told him he needed anger management. He told me "I don't need to do anything, you just need to not make me mad". He got worse and worse. He threatened to kill my parents on his birthday later that year. Just two weeks ago he told my dad to his face that he's gonna die soon and he has a new gf now (she called me the other night and told me she thinks I'm abusing him). I told her, I didn't even know her and she said she reads my text msg that I send to him and that they have no secrets (obviously they do if he didn't tell him about himself). He never had any friends the 8 years we were together, dating/engaged/married and out of over 100 ppl who came to our wedding, he didn't invite a single friend. I should have known then that he wasn't right when he didn't have 1 friend. Never met a friend if his, not even when we'd go to Milwaukee, where he's from and grew up. For the longest time I was passive and let him walk over me. He said that's why he liked me because I was like a black version of a white woman because I'm not an in your face type of woman, not knowing at the time he liked to be in control. I told her he's a bully and he'll tell you or show you what he wants to make himself look innocent. He showed my mom a pic of his new gf last friday at the courthouse as he was cursing her out and saying my family is dysfunctional when his family are all alcoholics and recovering drug addicts and he saw his dad beat his mom when he was little to the point he punctured her arteries. His family was raised to show no emotion and they're very stoic and he and his siblings were split up for some time growing up. He said none of that effected him, but his own dad and eldest sis say that he's damaged from childhood and his sister also says he exhibits the same behavior her ex husband had before he snapped on her and beat her for two hours and he was diagnosed with bipolar schizophrenia. She told me about how my husband tried to drown a family member when they were teenagers because he didn't like him being close to his brother. We separated for a month back in 2017 and he talked me into coming back (i was so stupid) he even agreed to go to counseling but it had to be on his terms and we ended up going to a counselor at his job because it was free. She chewed his head off and called him out on being a control freak. He got so upset and never went back. He played the good guy image really really well. Now I know he's not worth ish. He can lie to ur face like it's nothing. He lied to my mom after he showed my mom the pic of his new gf and my mom said "I don't want to see that" he said "well you should see the new woman your grandson is around frequently!" When she called me the other night, she told me she only met my son once. He was growing weed in our home and I told him he needed to stop and asked him if he was crazy. Our son was 1 when he started growing it. He said I was a dork and he could tell I was raised in the suburbs and I better not tell on him. I told him our whole house smelled like weed and our son didn't need to be inhaling it and how I couldn't go to work smelling like weed since I'm a teacher and work with children. He said it didn't matter because as long as he didn't get caught he was fine. His new gf seems very opinionated and speaks her mind and she told me that was the first thing that had to go (I told the court he was growing it over a year ago and they apparently didn't care seeing as how he was still growing it this summer) when she started dating him and coming over to MY home (my name is still on the mortgage) because she doesn't smoke. Neither do I and we had a baby in the house and he stopped growing it for her, but not for his wife and baby. She said well he seems to be a very good actor because I haven't seen any of this behavior and I can talk to him like a grown woman and he doesn't go off on me. I told her she's only 5 months in and he was still very polite and everything else she described him to be after only 5 months of dating. I'm gonna let her dig her own grave and see how his attitude slightly starts changing. I dropped my son off with him tonight, furious on the inside because I can not stand him!! I wish my son who's 3 1/2 now could have nothing to do with him. He pays child support when he feels like it and started only paying when he felt like it back in july, the same month he started dating his gf. The court ordered him to pay the 1st of every month and he doesn't and not much I can do about it. She told me he's a really good father. I asked her how she knows if she's only seen my son once. He wasn't a really good father when my son fell out of his high chair and hit his head on our wooden floor because he got upset and took all the buckles and safety straps off. We argued over that and he said he lost the straps and he'd be fine, but when he finally did get hurt he wouldn't tell me what the knot was on our son's head and I know I didn't send him to him with a knot on his head. My son said "I fell out my highchair at daddy house". This was back in May. To this day he still denies it. He got upset w/ his mom when she had a heart attack..who does that? I'd be on the next plane to go see my mama if that were me. He said I couldn't even give birth right because I had a high fever and had to have an emergency c section...They say ur supposed to pray and wish people the best even when they hurt you, but I wouldn't forgive him for anything and don't wish him the best in anything. I wait for the day when I'll meet another man who is a man of God and is honest and will be everything to me and my son that my husband (soon to be ex) isn't. I can write a book about the hell he put me through, his rules I had to obey when we moved into our new home, etc..
WOW!!! THANKS MELANIE, YOU WERE EXACTLY ON POINT WITH THE HEALING KNOWLEDGE I WAS IN NEED OF AT THIS POINT IN MY LIFE. I HAD NO CLUE WHAT TO DO NEXT AFTER JUST LEARNING ABOUT MY 53 YRS OF "UNKNOWN NARCISSISM " TROUBLES...... 53 YEARS , MY ENTIRE LIFE. FINALLY, ANSWERS, AT LONG LAST!!! THANK YOU , DEARLY. OUR NEW 5D EARTH IS SLOWLY CREEPING IN, ONE SOUL AT A TIME.😙😙😙😙😎😎😎😎😎😇😇😇😇😇😚😚😚😁😁😁😁🤓🤓✌🤘👌👍✊👏👏👏💋❤❤💓💕💖💗💙💚💛💜💝💞💟❣💌
I get what you're saying about not rehashing over and over about what the abuser actions are. I've got to the point of realizing that focusing my attention on their manipulation is a dead end road that leads to more of me beating myself up and wanting validation or to be vindicated in some way. This is a vicious cycle of disappointment and it holds me in a state of self pity hoping the world is going to change or that people are going to "wake up" and recognize and take responsibility for their actions. However I have to say that when I get triggered from something that reminds me of my past, .....it feels like the whole world is falling in on me. So bad to the point where any kind of rational thinking is gone. All it takes is one reminder to throw me into a tailspin and it takes me on crazy roller coaster that doesn't stop for days. I understand that there is a " build up" to me getting to that point. When I'm in this state I'm bombarded with the words of past abusers, my failures and low self worth. I've been going no contact but when I get this way is when I want to reach out, yet i know it's only going to be another conversation that leads right back to the cycle. Getting these people out of your life is a lonely road not to mention the temptations along the way. I've only recently been able to put my finger on this problem and it is something that I have never understood. Now that I see it I realize the power this has over me. This is an immense stronghold in my mind and its robbing me. My thing is......are you really saying it's just that simple? I want to believe that.
Hi Leeroy, You've got a very good connection with what happens and when. This is great Leeroy! It shows just how dedicated you have been to putting the pieces together and getting this family dynamic worked out. You know what it's like when you are triggered, you know the causes of the triggers are, you understand your family's behaviour but you are still looking for a way to process the triggers and emotions you feel productively instead of spinning out of control into emotional flashbacks as well as learning to be a source of your own well being, security and happiness. I can help you there. My free resources can help you fill in the blanks that remain as well as to introduce you to the Quanta Freedom Healing method I've developed to process the emotions and triggers in a productive way. This helps you to find the YOU part of the interaction, the part that you control. When you do you will find what it is you are trying to source or resolve through your family and possibly other relationships (we recreate our pain unconsciously in our relationships to resolve it). When we are consciously aware of this, this is when we can do something about it. You can sign up for my resources here: www.melanietoniaevans.com/freestarterpackage.htm Love and blessings xoxox
Brilliant. Ironic though, i've always my ex's were better than me in some way. Ridiculous, I spent so long trying to gain their approval I never stopped to think and pause: "They should be getting mine." Lol. Amazing when I reached this conclusion. What dicks.
@@kimfawcett1725 yes the same!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! my awakening started to happen when I realized what I'm doing with my life and what my mom did. I can be her mom. :D hahaha
Thank you Melanie. Your words resonates in me so strongly. I have been trying to rebuild myself, but keep going back to square 1. Your formula for healing sounds promising. Your recovery story has inspiried to give it try.
OMG!!!!! Your comments around 11:00+ hit the nail on the head, it always confused me WHY the narc was always competing with me, control, over force, under force, I had a feeling it was pride and insecurities, and fear, but this was just 100% on point of why there was such a struggle with him. I am also seeing how this applies to me to heal me as well.
Narcissists go after people who have good qualities about themselves and their mission is to seek and destroy that good person. They want those good qualities but know they will never have them so they get a kick out of trying to destroy someone’s life since they are so miserable themselves. Once they destroy that person, it makes them look and feel better by outward appearances but deep down they are still miserable. That’s when they do a discard and move on quickly because they need that narcissistic supply again to destroy someone else. I’ve watched it happen. If a narc has moved on quick and posting by it all over social media, they are doing it to upset you. It’s not real and they will do the same to that person and the next and the next. Once you get past the grief, anger you actually feel sorry for these losers in a neutral way.
Thank you so much!!! I've been no contact from the ex 9 months today and was feeling down about myself. This video is everything I needed thank you Melanie you truely give the best advice and guidance. ❤
Love this video Melanie because you talk about the solution and focus on how to become a stronger individual, stronger sense of self, Thank you, well done.
I feel so lost and confused and helpless omygod. Swinging between how did I let this happen and how could someone treat me this way. Shame shame shame and oh yes my mind is running wild. How do I get to this “simple healing”. I also research a lot I just want to understand and feel alive
You should be proud, not ashamed. The narc chose you because you are who you are, and you have the qualities they appreciated and wanted. And yes, people with PhDs also fall into the narc trap. The manipulation is so unthinkable, that being the good person that you are, you can't believe someone would actually do something so horrific to another human being, let alone to a loved one. You also keep hoping and giving the benefit of the doubt. Stop beating yourself up - it is not your fault. It is not a prey's fault that it falls into the trap set up by a predator. You must go BACK to your old self, who you were BEFORE the narc. And build from there. If you can go no contact, do. It's been a year from your comment here, and I hope you are doing better. Hopefully, the narc hasn't hoovered you back in? If they have, again, don't feel shame. It happens to the the best of us. Several times usually, until we can take no more, and finally go no contact forever.
I have been stuck in that too. The way out is to take the blame. And call yourself out ! I know it's sounds counter productive but it does work ! I was an idiot to ignore the red flags. I went back to the narc till he literally rubbed off the new supply in my face ! I was choosing to believe in his fake promises and forgetting about the harsh cold reality he actually treated me with ! So just say I was at fault ! So that you can identify your own shortcomings ! Focus on you. Don't think about them or what they did. Focus on getting better and you will 🙏
This resonates with me 100% and I believe it can help not ony people who were abused by a narc but all other who feel lost and struggle with identity. In essence, healing our traumas and recognizing we have and deserve needs, is a simple yet powerful tool to recreate our life. That's an absolutely great and refreshing piece of advice Melanie and I am ultra grateful for this video. I adore the way you put it across, it's in a loving way, but very simple, concise and straight to the point, thank you! Looking forward to do all the tasks. Lots of love from UK xx
thank you Melanie, a thousand fold...you have given me true hope, made me laugh,helped me feel so much less alone...almost out...thank you keep the world posted
For years I had a dream that I was 🏃 from the earth crumbling down around me. Until I moved into the house I'm in now, I call my interior rooms. 3 houses from my father and seven from my brother. I came to Ohio from new Mexico after my 4 th mental collapse . Wow now I know why I lost my memory and the Stockholm syndrome is real. They can't stand that even though we have our problems my husband and I are working on them and that we have a house from bobs Mother. It's hard to wrap my head around the vicious abuse they feel is their rightful inflict. I watched the 1940 gaslight movie this morning it reminded me of my mother she would do weird things like that psycho. I feel like if been under a spell and now I'm awoke to find I hadn't been sleeping it was all Real.
While I generally like Melanie's videos (including this one), I strongly disagree with the idea that doing background research will lead people into self-doubt. It may not have worked for her, but it has helped myself and many others. Obviously, reading up on psychology hasn't made me self-actualised or else I wouldn't have need to watch the video, but it has helped me develop greater self-awareness and tools for handling destructive situations.
Hi cBe9999, I am pleased your background research has helped you. I advocate that researching should be kept to a minimum because it keeps people 'stuck' in the pain. Because narcissism is not a mental condition it's a spiritual / emotional condition we can't heal it by finding out all we know about it. We turn inwards to find the answers. When we do that we are not merely surviving but thriving in life. That's what my work is all about and members work on a 90/10 ratio - 90% working on inner wound healing 10% on researching. I hope that clarifies why I say this for you and anyone else reading this. But I am happy you are happy hun and happy we can agree to disagree on this one - keep thriving!! xoxox
I need to listen to this 12 times - at least! Today I have been having alot of fear. I keep looking behind me and feeling like the psycho/narc might be there waiting for me. Can you offer any suggestions?
Do you have my programme NARP? If so, keep it simple and literal and take the fear to Module 1 shorter version or Module 8 to shift out the trapped trauma so you feel safe in the world again. If you don't have NARP, please join me in the free webinar so you can experience a Quanta Freedom Healing for yourself. I'll come back and leave the links for you later (the website is down for maintenance right now). This video may help too ... ua-cam.com/video/Nqr7B6nhilg/v-deo.html xoxox
I believe when they are asking ehat should I work on they really mean - what module should I go to- I confuse myself with that also. I question if I'm going to thecorrect module to heal what I'm feeling. Melanie you are amazing! You have helped me to heal so quickly, with much less pain and suffering. You are our angel sent to us to assist us on our journey. Love you🥰
Aww Corey, it is my honor to assist you sweetheart! Corey, I'd love you to come on into the NARP Community Forum where you can receive some practical guidance from experienced NARPers. The info to join is the welcome section of your program hun. Corey- sweetheart, first of all you can't do it wrong ok? Which module you use is not as important as feeling it in the body and connecting and if in doubt- just use Module 1. I hope this helps hun and I do hope you'll join us on the member's only NARP Community Forum. Love and blessings xoxox
So enlightening Tonia, I am in the final part of my healing, it helps so much you are the top ones I listen, Thank you won't be ever enough to thank you... U so great thank u Ma'am... You help millions.... Thank you... Thank you.. ❤️To all in that great pain.... Tonia... Helps and really helps.... Listen many many times as you can for the same vid... It helps... God helps... All of us and Tonia❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Another great video and I love that you're in Melbourne's southeast, like me. I started watching months ago and bought the NARP program. I need to spend more time on it, but I started working back in May (after a six year break from the paid workforce) and have less time available. But it was the NARP program that helped me clear away enough wounds to be able to re-enter the workforce, and I love my new job. Life keeps improving the longer it is that I'm away from the Ex. Unfortunately we still need to go through the process of a financial settlement and that is stressful. I have a family court appointment in late November. If anyone could recommend a good counsellor in the south east of Melbourne, one who really understands CPTSD and narcissistic abuse, that would be good as I think I might need that to get through the court process. I have a lawyer that I like and trust so that is helpful but it is not his role to provide emotional support.
Thank you Cheryl, I love that you already have NARP and have healed enough to turn your life around YAYA!! Hun, Module 8 will help you with the financial settlement and Court processes, and the lovely members in the Forum will support you too. Thrive on Dear One xoxox
Thanks for replying. I will have a look (listen) at Module 8 over the weekend. Thanks for everything you do. I would never have realised what I was dealing with if I hadn't come across your videos. I knew things weren't right and that I found my ex's behavior frustrating and infuriating, and very, very hurtful, but it was your videos that helped me see why she behaved the way she did. I will keep watching, get back to NARP and keep thriving whatever the outcome with the court. xxx
I think somewhere in my solar-plexus was a feeling that I would deserve a conviction by the judge for something I have not done. why? because I didn't run away when the sociopath hit me but "let myself be attacked". my head knows I don't deserve this double-punishment (once by being attacked and then by being slandered) but my stomach somehow didnt know yet.
A little hard to understand how to shift the traumas. I do find your videos so far to be easier to understand than some. Trying to make and save money to get out and still work on myself. Unusual for me to put myself as priority but then I used to realize I had more to give if I took care of myself. Looking forward to reconnecting with myself. I used to like "her". 🙂
I am honestly in so much pain right now. He was so manipulative and cunning, such a liar. He broke up with me today after telling me I’m not good enough and I feel so shattered. I feel like nothing. He has left me financially screwed and in so much pain. I don’t know what to do or how to proceed.
I hope youre doing so much better now a year later if you dont have one I suggest a counselor. Mine is helping me get my self worth back and feel god enough again. The manipulative behavior from my partner and all the lies I cant trust anyone anymore.
Today I fell back into victimconciousness (I hope I got that word right? Not a native Speaker) and I asked the Universe (in Form of UA-cam ;)) for an answer. This Video is what came out and reminded me to go back within and in touch with the beautiful (sometimes horrible) inner Landscape. Years ago this Video would have trigeered my ego immensely because I thought what is destroyed by others must be rebuild by them. But that is not true. I am the Builder of the most beautiful kingdom. It is not build in a day and sometimes we stumble on the way (Like me today :D ) and need a reminder. Thank you for reminding me. I truly and fully appreciate it.
@ myransary you're funny! I agree that all possible insecurities or inadequacies have been attacked and validated by these crazy lunatic narcissists. What is the point of them anyway? So all of us can get much stronger or become alcoholics. ; ) Anyway, happy healing to all given this unfortunate circumstance of allowing an NPD demon in your life.
You are so welcome Marie. You work with Quanta Freedom Healing and can experience this for yourself in my free webinar, where I take you through a QFH shift. If it's something you would like to try you can join here www.melanietoniaevans.com/freewebinar also look out for my 'Shifts Happen' video with members as I take them through a QFH too. xoxox
You don't. This is wishy-washy Deepak Chopra stuff, and it's just a bunch of words put together without meaning. We have to take each issue individually, analyze it, process it, and come up with steps to retrain our brain to function in a healthy way. That's what having a good therapist who knows about this kind of abuse can help with
I love what u have to say, but, I cannot get on ur subscription? please figure out why, bc, I'm sure I'm not the only one who needs this help. thank u so much for who u r and what u do for people. God bless u.
Hello Jaclin, It might be that the Google analytics code (tracker) isn't able to work through your security or privacy settings in your browser. You can use this link to sign up to the New Life Starter Pack: www.melanietoniaevans.com/articles/narcsignup.htm) Love and blessings xoxox
Everything I do hurts ! Everything is an effort, and I have no desire to association with anyone. I only talk to my mother and sister. My mother is 85 and my sister is a drunk ! I have not even talked to them in two weeks because I’m not a gossip and I hate drama .
Hi Susannah, I am happy to help. If you write into my support staff at support@melanietoniaevans.com with your circumstances, they will be happy to help. Love and blessings xoxox
Hi Freez Vamp, I'd love you to sign up to my free 16 Day Recovery course www.youcanthrivebook.com/freecourse so you can receive daily supportive emails. It's a first step and you'll receive an invite into my free healing webinar so you can understand more and discover how you heal inside your body by releasing the traumas so you can feel some relief and start your healing journey. I'd love this for you. Love and blessings xoxox
The one that tried to destroy selfworth Slowly slowly the life’s spirit is taken away, day by day you remain and stay. Thinking good and love the goal, the one you love ebbs your soul. Thats wrong I am right, thats bad not good is just the aim to change what stood. Quick to judge and words to harm, intention is to spoil whats calm. Never we achieve to make the grade, casting doubt and erode what’s made. Bitterness and bad word slipped in, to change the innocence mind within. Using words to cloud the view, turning facts with things not true. Constantly on their guard for being praised, which could give confidence to he who slaved. Insistence to break the will, worth and self belief, aiming spite to crush when weak. Lots to say when things go wrong, evil words and moods last long. Some regret for over reaction but never bowing to apology or detraction. Sometimes quite when told to cease, but not for long as they have no peace. Jealous, suspicion, doubt and lies, smiling face behind it cries. Good ones come to be their friends, but spoilt with familiarity, cruel words it ends. My opinion is their cry, I have to say I cannot lie. Feelings saddened by this brash way, to which kind people dare not say. Leaving friends, family and those so close, scared and hurt with words so gross., Inflicting damage and bending minds , sapping life from which they find. Others with family and loving home, fall foul to criticism, with words to moan. Sometimes kind and showing heart , some tear to show their part. Don’t be fooled there’s venom still and being up close they strike at will. Even your own flesh and blood, believing stories saying bad not good. Until the time their minds their own, realising the truth was not at home. The spiteful one with bad to say, will be found out in time one day. Waiting time, your children grow, to see the truth and love once more.
I really hope this isn't something I have to buy...I am on the edge, and can't afford anything that costs any amount of money. A lot of us need help, and people know we are in a vulnerable state, and more likely to try anything that someone promises us will work....She seems so knowledgeable...but if all of this is for a product, I feel very cheated. A lot of us can't afford things.
Hi Amy, I'm happy to help. If you email in to support@melanietoniaevans.com and explain your circumstances, a member of my support team will be able to assist. I have many resources online that are free and you can access these by signing up here: www.melanietoniaevans.com/freestarterpackage.htm Love and blessings xoxox
The only way to develop your love and respect for yourself is to be aligned spiritually with your Source and the spiritual world. Nothing else will align your self or dignify you in a way that you don’t see what is a fake or bad person in front of you. Narcissists are composed by 80 percent of the population. It’s a wave of them. They are insecure. Lack contact with their core being and envy the ones that have a healthy spiritual life to guide their intuition. No wonder why so many people are lost and now is fashion to talk and talk about narcissism. Where in the press, radio, tv or theaters you see something healthy and aligned to give a model for the youth to aligne themselves? Hollywood produces the most disarmonic movies ever. Crooked with crazy people, dirty words, arrogance, violence. WHAT DO WE EXPECT?
I have to agree with you on that. I was actually just talking to my friend earlier today about how there truly is a big wave of narcissists in today's world. I shuddered just thinking about it. We need more people like Melanie to address it. And I do believe all therapists should now be required to specialize in NPD so victims can seek help, because many of them don't understand the disorder. While I agree with you on Hollywood, fame popularity, etc producing more Narcs into society, it's much much more than that...This is a terrible case of really poor upbringing, and you see it in all people..the rich or the poor, in safe or conflict ridden environments, any race religion ethnicity, there will be a Narc somewhere. It's just scary. We've got to educate ourselves and we should all take this seriously. Can't stress it enough. God help us all...
I am a 60 year old woman. My mother was quite beautiful and early on became fascinated with movie stars and her own appearance- you can see it in old photos how she imitated Hollywood stars. Well, she became a full blown narcissist and i am still trying to recover. It seems rather late in the game for me, but i have made progress. I try not to think of the wasted years of being so very very lost, or of my brother who was ruined. Narcissism is a terrible thing & Hollywood promotes it. Of course, the public is also responsible too for buying into our most shallow values.
Hi flower essences, I would love to show you how to do it and invite you to a free healing workshop where you will get to connect to your inner self through Quanta Freedom Healing ... www.melanietoniaevans.com/freewebinar Love and blessings to you xoxox
What about if you keep getting jobs and the boss finds a way to bully you, is it you who is triggering something in them and they need to do work on themselves?
Hi Mysterious, everyone has wounds inside of them (until they heal them) and so people trigger each other! This might help you blog.melanietoniaevans.com/the-narcissist-in-the-workplace/ and if you would like to learn how to heal your own wounds I would love you to connect to my free resources hun xoxox www.melanietoniaevans.com/freecourse
Many thanks Melanie, i have just read the first link, it made a lot of sense, i feel tons better. I will never sell my soul for an easy life. Sometimes i get tired from staying silent (when i want to vent but know it wont do any good) but i take time out to recharge and then bounce back. I just leave a really bad workplace as they do not deserve an honest, hardworking person in their company. I told the agency why i left and they seemed to defend what the company had done, money talks lol
it would be so hard to help people after you have gone thru naricssitc abuse. i dont know how she does this i would be triggered . id be to scared to go there.
Is it possible for us both to be narcissists? I'm so frustrated and confused! Reading through texts from 2 years ago (in a five year roller coaster ride) and I was frustrated then asking the same questions and demanding why she thinks its okay to treat me the way she does. Two years ago is about when I took a leave of absence from my job of 8+ years to get to the root of the issue and to show how serious I was about resolving these unanswered and avoided things that I couldn't ignore or let her dance around anymore. and to show her that my job that I loved so much was on hold for the betterment of us and our family. Boy has it been a dive straight for the worse since then. Maybe I was manipulating the situation by trying to force answers to these danced around issues I had, not her, that I just couldn't overlook or endure the feelings accompanied with her treatment of me. It was like I was a whipping post for her deepest secrets, that by the violent and physical outrages, were eating at her from the inside out like a potent acid. Why didn't I just leave then when she refused to answer to her actions or even apologize???? Am I the narcissist for being selfish and demanding answers? Now I am the jobless, freeloading, substance abusing creep, that is homeless and can't be trusted with anything said or done. mainly I believe because I didnt tell or talk to a soul about it to save her any embaressment yet she has for the last couple of years selectively shared my bad texts and pushed me into crazy at just the perfect times for the right people to see. at first I knowingly did it and took the humiliation so she would feel for me and stop. It only got worse and now here I am living in a room in a basement with an old friend that im just too humiliated and hurt to talk to and he just wouldnt understand why I was such a fool by not walking away before I lost and give up everything. everything i had left that she didnt destroy, smash or throw away that i didnt catch and pull out of the dumpster. The whole time I was provoking her to reach her melting point. Instead I get the hidden smurks and evil laughs that she directs at me when no one else can see or hear and I truly believe that those are the first glimpses that anyone has seen of the True, 43 year old "Private Catholic School Teacher" and what she is really capable of under her facade she's perfected. Yet I still cant help but wonder if this is somehow my fault because of my narcissistic personality disorder. ???
Hi Dee, these resources may help you further. Many people involved with a true narcissist end up feeling they are the narcissist because the narcissist is looking for a reaction to gain narcissistic supply and because of the things a narcissist does, it is very easy to use narc traits back at them. Have a look at these for your answers blog.melanietoniaevans.com/the-narcissist-and-co-dependent-two-sides-of-the-same-coin/ blog.melanietoniaevans.com/am-i-the-narcissist/ ua-cam.com/video/aa75ynfu4WI/v-deo.html I hope they help xoxox
@@deetree2717 I hope two years on you are in a better place. It is perfectly reasonable for you to have expected her to be straight and not 'dance around' problems and just lose her temper all the time. Hearing your story it does not sound to me like you are narcissistic, it sounds like you were a strong person who firstly spoke your principles and made decisions to try to work on your relationship, but was worn down and humiliated by someone who had so much baggage and refused to work on it. Even if she wasn't a narc, she was toxic, and that's enough for you to say 'no more of this' and start to get your self back. Best Wishes
Hi! I want to do one of Melanie's programs. There appears to be a few? I'm 5 months post escape and NC. I've been shattered by 5 yr relationship with psychopath.... Can you recommend which program is the best one to start? Thank you!
Hi Peaceful, NARP is the core programme and one I highly recommend to heal from all the wounds www.melanietoniaevans.com/services/narc-abuse-recovery.htm. I suggest joining me in the webinar as a prequel to joining as there are some special offers at the end you may like! xoxox www.melanietoniaevans.com/freewebinar
I understand shifting to me but what does she mean...because she just says shift it . This is real work ♡ a real activity...I'm guessing there is a book or program she has that would go deeper into her method
Keep smiling, keep healing, keep thriving because there is nothing else to do! Indeed!
This lady creeps me out, in a good way. She's speaking to me 100% and it's obvious that she's lived through it all and knows it all. Every bloody negative thought. I actually started laughing because she just knows it all. Like she can read people's hearts. I'm not really religious but I do believe God has blessed her with some sort of inner reality in order to help others. Melanie you are amazing, please continue doing what you're doing xx
Awww hun I didn't mean to creep you out!! Thank you for your kind words and, YES!, I have lived it, been through it and healed from it and it is now my mission to help anyone who wants to heal from Victim to Thriver from Narcissistic Abuse. Love and blessings Dear One xoxox
Sending you love back!!
Wholeheartedly agree
Thinking the same thing! Wow! Just Wow!
I am resisting letting go of the negative thoughts! It just sounds crazy when I type that out because WHY logically would I resist letting go of negativity? Now I know! I have to believe there is another side to the world I am living in, one where I love me no matter who thinks, says, or does whatever they do.
The first sentence made me laugh so hard! But I agree with what you're saying. It's beautiful
Thank you Melanie for your videos. When I finally escaped my parents and brother I went into a deep depression. Once I finally figured out what was happening to me, it's like I went into shock and disbelief. Then when I tried to put my life back together it's like I couldn't move. All my energy was spent analyzing 35 years of constant abuse and gas lighting. I'm finally ready to repair my connection to myself and your videos are helping facilitate that wonderfully. Thank you for helping me understand that this is ultimately a journey back to ourselves, and no longer resenting them or holding negativity toward them. But instead to transmute that energy into more self-love.
I’m in a horrible depression right now
Any updates? I’d love to know how things are for you now
I want to tell you Melanie you are my hero. I’m a 54 year old survivor and student. Please know your value to the world
Bill thank you and I am so pleased that I could help xoxox
Melanie Tonia Evans on dads iPad my father is 90 and lives with a covert. Thank you for helping him, you truly are our hero,
No! After narc abuse you should really realize how great you are and always have been even when you needed more improvements to be who you are today. But that doesn't happen until you educate yourself on what happened to you and who the person really was that did it "to you" more like for you. If you are wondering why you are not attracting new love or new sex partners into your lives after the narc it's because you are much smarter now and have higher standards and stronger boundaries! So you no longer attract the same types of lovers you used to. That's a good thing because you should want more!
So true, Carl Wright!! This is such an opportunity for personal ascension in a brand new upward trajectory!! Finally, we get to reach within and heal our past wounds like never before . It's so exciting!! xoxox
❤
I have been struggling with this my whole life. I became 40 and feel so alone even I am smart, passionate, educated and very independant, I travel the world on own.. and now again single. Why I keep attracting these guys who cannot commit who I want to 'safe'?
Why do they fast after they dumped me have someone else and feeling 'good'? Refilled there energies whilst I feel confused, heart broken and lost?
I start wondering weither it is not me being a complicated and super high sensitive person. If narcissism is a disaese why they can keep attracting women? I bet he has someone already and that is why he left cos he knows he showed his true colours. He said to me in the beginning: i am afraid to love, I am afraid you will see my mistakes, I am afraid of everything.
And I am afraid that I need to leave my mother. (For me she is his trauma and his dad him leaving when he was a jid and his mother keeping him at arm lenght, replacing him for the father) so unhealthy situation. Ooh boy I has been months and I just can'g get over it. I bet he forget me completely and moved on I do still think of him and somehow I hope he just tells me he was so wrong he got therapy and he missed and wants to be with me. But I know this will never happen because he has no money for that and he thinks he is perfect. I also said to him I wanted to pay for a psychologist.
Your right about that ......we are all have a victims of narcs once i let loose of the narc you know my skin is melow and brown now i look ten or fifteen years younger I'm glowing and skin look like a new born baby biblically speaking ...... I'm indeed in love with myself!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!$
@@jillmariaplatteaux6083 stay away from narcs !!! Narcs have ruined millions of lives in this universe!!!!!! I have suffer so much through narcs biblically speaking .......now iam in love with myself after discarding toxic and delusional people in my life !!!!!!! I'm going back to school and do something fruitful and miningful with my life .......due to the cptsd and trauma that i have been experiencing I'm so exhausted and trained !!!! No more people pleasing and codependency!!!!! Don't get me wrong i love people with all my heart !!!!!!
In 2015 i had an out of body experience. There was a being that accompanied me in this out of body experience that answered my questions. The being showed me various peoples love voltage levels and explained were all at different levels due to fear suppressing.it told me through self help work of " losing the fear" this was how we'd evolve. Your teaching really rings home to me. I understand from some people's perspective " out of body experience " sounds crazy but i assure you it did happen and need no validation from the outside.
Completely believe you, I have out of body experiences too
@@literallysarcastic7704 this being is not of God, repent and turn to Jesus Christ. This could be a demon and you need deliverance. The answer is not JUST losing fear. You lose fear by living with Jesus Christ.
Psalm 55:22
Cast your cares on the Lord
and he will sustain you;
he will never let
the righteous be shaken.
Very well said. Narc abuse is insidious and family don't stop it when we turn 18. Great share, thanks, all true.
Omg...you actually have The Answer!! Every SoNA (Survivor of Narcissistic Abuse) has to watch this!! I was not able to attract better treatment from my parents (1 covert narcissist, 1 codependent enabler) because that's exactly what I needed to LEARN to attract! ! This sort of thinking allows us to take control of the problem and begin resolving rather than blaming. What would I like to see more of in my life? I'd like more loving attention I'd like to feel desirable and worthy of a loving long term relationship. I'd like respect from family members, etc.
I deepened my spiritual practice and it truly LIFTED me 😍😍😍
Truly wonderful Blissful Abundance
Thank goodness I found your channel because it's hard as hell healing alone. After what he put me through. (The Narcissist) caused me trauma, stress and turmoil.
😢I am going through this now and I am so sad and I am trying to help myself
It's so crazy that I signed up but had to come back and leave. Comment because this is exactly what I been lookin for somebody that understands.... And this post even before doing homework has took me out of feeling depressed this morning and it just did something to my soul.... Im still about to do my homework but I just love this video. I pray who reading this get the feeling my soul feels... 😍
I'm happy this video has helped you Starr Watts, keep thriving xoxox
I love your work, Melanie. What I like about it the most is how tangible your content is, devoid of denial and full of much-needed clarity. Your work was sent to me by my Higher Power. Two years ago, at the beginning of my journey, I already had an understanding of the dysfunction in my family of origin. However, I was suffering from massive anxiety attacks, depression and most of all I was really confused. I started praying to God to give me a sign as to why those things happen to me. And your video popped up on my UA-cam feed called "Why narcissists target lightworkers" or something like that. I have been following a couple of healers/therapists that deal with this topic on UA-cam. But the more I am healing with NARP, the less I need anything else. As the family scapegoat, I am grateful that I have access to such a powerful healing tool. There is really nothing else to do.
Once I realized I am married to a narcissist I haven’t had a conversation with him in 6 months and I have a separate room.
He doesn’t care because he never cared.
As soon as the house sells we go our separate ways.
Not speaking to him is wonderful and going and doing what I want is pure freedom.
I’m hoping he will leave but all he does is go to work watch tv and go to bed and he looks awful.
He needs to torment someone before he withers away to nothing.
I’m serious these narcs are addicted to hurting others and playing mind games.
I absolutely could careless he’s always loved frustrating me and hurting me emotionally and yes I am an empath.
I can’t stand him.
When I see him it’s like he’s not there.
I know that sounds crazy but that’s how I feel.
For someone who feels things deeply I find it odd that I feel nothing when I look at him not even anger anymore.
You’re videos are helping me heal. ❤️
Awesome Lynn, I am happy my videos are helping you and wishes you a thriving future Dear Lady xoxox
Be careful. You are probably emotionally numb. The pain will catch up with you, but at least you know what you are dealiing with. Sounds like my situation but I didn't know what he was until a year after I asked him to leave because of the excessive silent treatments. After he found someone else he really ramped up the abuse and behaved like didn't exist or have any feeling at all. I was in denial for a year and I was still allowing him in my life. Now I am no contact and it is much better that way. Good luck. Go no contact as soon as you can.
Melanie, to me, after 50 yrs of being targeted by npd older sister, this is the best, most educational, compassionate-- I could go on and on....video I've watched-- now I have to grasp how to up level trauma from my body...thank you, the positive karma you are creating is eternal 💥💕🌈🍀☘️many many thanks
Thank you Godzilla man. I would love to show you how to up level the trauma by inviting you to the free webinar so you can experience a Quanta Freedom Healing for yourself xoxox www.melanietoniaevans.com/freewebinar
YES, this is where I am now.
God bless you Melanie for opening my eyes to looking within, putting me on the right path of healing, I'm working on it every day,
My dad is a narcissist, and I feel like he projects another image of me , I feel people see myself image different due to my dad's projections. I don't know if people see me the way I see myself.
aaaah 😟
I can relate to this
Are you okay
My narcissistic soon to be ex husband is a living nightmare. I left him for good in July of 2018 as our son who was 2 at the time saw him calling me out my name and saying he was gonna bit the ish out of me. He is a liar and can put on a front in a second. The first 3 years we were together we got into occasional arguments, but nothing out of the ordinary until March 2016 when I was 8 months pregnant with our son and married going on 2 yrs at the time, he flipped the script and out of his mind and tried to throw a barstool at me then slammed it down and came at me with his fists. It was 2:46 am and luckily I had my cell phone in my pajama bottom pocket and I swiped my keys as he was yelling at me to get the **** out of our apt. I went home to my parent's house and ever since then he spiraled more and more into his rages. He told me 3 nights after we brought our son home that he's really not perfect as he says. I told him I know, bc no one's perfect. He then told me he has anger issues. I told him he needed anger management. He told me "I don't need to do anything, you just need to not make me mad". He got worse and worse. He threatened to kill my parents on his birthday later that year. Just two weeks ago he told my dad to his face that he's gonna die soon and he has a new gf now (she called me the other night and told me she thinks I'm abusing him). I told her, I didn't even know her and she said she reads my text msg that I send to him and that they have no secrets (obviously they do if he didn't tell him about himself). He never had any friends the 8 years we were together, dating/engaged/married and out of over 100 ppl who came to our wedding, he didn't invite a single friend. I should have known then that he wasn't right when he didn't have 1 friend. Never met a friend if his, not even when we'd go to Milwaukee, where he's from and grew up. For the longest time I was passive and let him walk over me. He said that's why he liked me because I was like a black version of a white woman because I'm not an in your face type of woman, not knowing at the time he liked to be in control. I told her he's a bully and he'll tell you or show you what he wants to make himself look innocent. He showed my mom a pic of his new gf last friday at the courthouse as he was cursing her out and saying my family is dysfunctional when his family are all alcoholics and recovering drug addicts and he saw his dad beat his mom when he was little to the point he punctured her arteries. His family was raised to show no emotion and they're very stoic and he and his siblings were split up for some time growing up. He said none of that effected him, but his own dad and eldest sis say that he's damaged from childhood and his sister also says he exhibits the same behavior her ex husband had before he snapped on her and beat her for two hours and he was diagnosed with bipolar schizophrenia. She told me about how my husband tried to drown a family member when they were teenagers because he didn't like him being close to his brother. We separated for a month back in 2017 and he talked me into coming back (i was so stupid) he even agreed to go to counseling but it had to be on his terms and we ended up going to a counselor at his job because it was free. She chewed his head off and called him out on being a control freak. He got so upset and never went back. He played the good guy image really really well. Now I know he's not worth ish. He can lie to ur face like it's nothing. He lied to my mom after he showed my mom the pic of his new gf and my mom said "I don't want to see that" he said "well you should see the new woman your grandson is around frequently!" When she called me the other night, she told me she only met my son once. He was growing weed in our home and I told him he needed to stop and asked him if he was crazy. Our son was 1 when he started growing it. He said I was a dork and he could tell I was raised in the suburbs and I better not tell on him. I told him our whole house smelled like weed and our son didn't need to be inhaling it and how I couldn't go to work smelling like weed since I'm a teacher and work with children. He said it didn't matter because as long as he didn't get caught he was fine. His new gf seems very opinionated and speaks her mind and she told me that was the first thing that had to go (I told the court he was growing it over a year ago and they apparently didn't care seeing as how he was still growing it this summer) when she started dating him and coming over to MY home (my name is still on the mortgage) because she doesn't smoke. Neither do I and we had a baby in the house and he stopped growing it for her, but not for his wife and baby. She said well he seems to be a very good actor because I haven't seen any of this behavior and I can talk to him like a grown woman and he doesn't go off on me. I told her she's only 5 months in and he was still very polite and everything else she described him to be after only 5 months of dating. I'm gonna let her dig her own grave and see how his attitude slightly starts changing. I dropped my son off with him tonight, furious on the inside because I can not stand him!! I wish my son who's 3 1/2 now could have nothing to do with him. He pays child support when he feels like it and started only paying when he felt like it back in july, the same month he started dating his gf. The court ordered him to pay the 1st of every month and he doesn't and not much I can do about it. She told me he's a really good father. I asked her how she knows if she's only seen my son once. He wasn't a really good father when my son fell out of his high chair and hit his head on our wooden floor because he got upset and took all the buckles and safety straps off. We argued over that and he said he lost the straps and he'd be fine, but when he finally did get hurt he wouldn't tell me what the knot was on our son's head and I know I didn't send him to him with a knot on his head. My son said "I fell out my highchair at daddy house". This was back in May. To this day he still denies it. He got upset w/ his mom when she had a heart attack..who does that? I'd be on the next plane to go see my mama if that were me. He said I couldn't even give birth right because I had a high fever and had to have an emergency c section...They say ur supposed to pray and wish people the best even when they hurt you, but I wouldn't forgive him for anything and don't wish him the best in anything. I wait for the day when I'll meet another man who is a man of God and is honest and will be everything to me and my son that my husband (soon to be ex) isn't. I can write a book about the hell he put me through, his rules I had to obey when we moved into our new home, etc..
I love that your take the time to read people's comments and answer those in need.
WOW!!! THANKS MELANIE, YOU WERE EXACTLY ON POINT WITH THE HEALING KNOWLEDGE I WAS IN NEED OF AT THIS POINT IN MY LIFE. I HAD NO CLUE WHAT TO DO NEXT AFTER JUST LEARNING ABOUT MY 53 YRS OF "UNKNOWN NARCISSISM " TROUBLES...... 53 YEARS , MY ENTIRE LIFE. FINALLY, ANSWERS, AT LONG LAST!!! THANK YOU , DEARLY. OUR NEW 5D EARTH IS SLOWLY CREEPING IN, ONE SOUL AT A TIME.😙😙😙😙😎😎😎😎😎😇😇😇😇😇😚😚😚😁😁😁😁🤓🤓✌🤘👌👍✊👏👏👏💋❤❤💓💕💖💗💙💚💛💜💝💞💟❣💌
It sure is pinkpal s!! Happy thriving sweetheart xoxox
I get what you're saying about not rehashing over and over about what the abuser actions are. I've got to the point of realizing that focusing my attention on their manipulation is a dead end road that leads to more of me beating myself up and wanting validation or to be vindicated in some way. This is a vicious cycle of disappointment and it holds me in a state of self pity hoping the world is going to change or that people are going to "wake up" and recognize and take responsibility for their actions. However I have to say that when I get triggered from something that reminds me of my past, .....it feels like the whole world is falling in on me. So bad to the point where any kind of rational thinking is gone. All it takes is one reminder to throw me into a tailspin and it takes me on crazy roller coaster that doesn't stop for days. I understand that there is a " build up" to me getting to that point. When I'm in this state I'm bombarded with the words of past abusers, my failures and low self worth. I've been going no contact but when I get this way is when I want to reach out, yet i know it's only going to be another conversation that leads right back to the cycle. Getting these people out of your life is a lonely road not to mention the temptations along the way. I've only recently been able to put my finger on this problem and it is something that I have never understood. Now that I see it I realize the power this has over me. This is an immense stronghold in my mind and its robbing me. My thing is......are you really saying it's just that simple? I want to believe that.
Hi Leeroy,
You've got a very good connection with what happens and when. This is great Leeroy! It shows just how dedicated you have been to putting the pieces together and getting this family dynamic worked out.
You know what it's like when you are triggered, you know the causes of the triggers are, you understand your family's behaviour but you are still looking for a way to process the triggers and emotions you feel productively instead of spinning out of control into emotional flashbacks as well as learning to be a source of your own well being, security and happiness. I can help you there.
My free resources can help you fill in the blanks that remain as well as to introduce you to the Quanta Freedom Healing method I've developed to process the emotions and triggers in a productive way.
This helps you to find the YOU part of the interaction, the part that you control. When you do you will find what it is you are trying to source or resolve through your family and possibly other relationships (we recreate our pain unconsciously in our relationships to resolve it). When we are consciously aware of this, this is when we can do something about it.
You can sign up for my resources here:
www.melanietoniaevans.com/freestarterpackage.htm
Love and blessings xoxox
i can relate!
I dont allow narcissists to abuse me when I know they are below me.
Then why are you here listening to this video?
Brilliant. Ironic though, i've always my ex's were better than me in some way. Ridiculous, I spent so long trying to gain their approval I never stopped to think and pause: "They should be getting mine." Lol. Amazing when I reached this conclusion. What dicks.
Thanks for this, new life motto!
@@kimfawcett1725 yes the same!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! my awakening started to happen when I realized what I'm doing with my life and what my mom did. I can be her mom. :D hahaha
Everything they do it's in a smart tricky manipulated way. Is not that a woman allow it gotta live to believe 💪good luck !
Thank you Melanie. Your words resonates in me so strongly. I have been trying to rebuild myself, but keep going back to square 1. Your formula for healing sounds promising. Your recovery story has inspiried to give it try.
It's my pleasure Amlin. Plese know it is SO possible :) xoxox
OMG!!!!! Your comments around 11:00+ hit the nail on the head, it always confused me WHY the narc was always competing with me, control, over force, under force, I had a feeling it was pride and insecurities, and fear, but this was just 100% on point of why there was such a struggle with him. I am also seeing how this applies to me to heal me as well.
That is great this resonated with you Francesca! Bless! xoxox
How can this beautiful woman be talking about this? Who could have been this blind to drive her here ?
Narcissists go after people who have good qualities about themselves and their mission is to seek and destroy that good person. They want those good qualities but know they will never have them so they get a kick out of trying to destroy someone’s life since they are so miserable themselves. Once they destroy that person, it makes them look and feel better by outward appearances but deep down they are still miserable. That’s when they do a discard and move on quickly because they need that narcissistic supply again to destroy someone else. I’ve watched it happen. If a narc has moved on quick and posting by it all over social media, they are doing it to upset you. It’s not real and they will do the same to that person and the next and the next. Once you get past the grief, anger you actually feel sorry for these losers in a neutral way.
Thank you so much!!! I've been no contact from the ex 9 months today and was feeling down about myself. This video is everything I needed thank you Melanie you truely give the best advice and guidance. ❤
Aww thank you A Rost and I am thrilled it came to you at just the time you needed it!! I love synchronicity!! xoxox
Sometimes you need to overthink everything in order to find that video that tells you not to overthink everything. One ticket to Right Town, please.
Very interesting and true. We grow and release past traumas as a result! Thank you.
My pleasure spaciousentropy! xoxox
Love this video Melanie because you talk about the solution and focus on how to become a stronger individual, stronger sense of self, Thank you, well done.
You're so welcome!! xoxox
I feel so lost and confused and helpless omygod. Swinging between how did I let this happen and how could someone treat me this way. Shame shame shame and oh yes my mind is running wild. How do I get to this “simple healing”. I also research a lot I just want to understand and feel alive
You should be proud, not ashamed. The narc chose you because you are who you are, and you have the qualities they appreciated and wanted. And yes, people with PhDs also fall into the narc trap. The manipulation is so unthinkable, that being the good person that you are, you can't believe someone would actually do something so horrific to another human being, let alone to a loved one. You also keep hoping and giving the benefit of the doubt. Stop beating yourself up - it is not your fault. It is not a prey's fault that it falls into the trap set up by a predator. You must go BACK to your old self, who you were BEFORE the narc. And build from there. If you can go no contact, do. It's been a year from your comment here, and I hope you are doing better. Hopefully, the narc hasn't hoovered you back in? If they have, again, don't feel shame. It happens to the the best of us. Several times usually, until we can take no more, and finally go no contact forever.
I have been stuck in that too. The way out is to take the blame. And call yourself out ! I know it's sounds counter productive but it does work ! I was an idiot to ignore the red flags. I went back to the narc till he literally rubbed off the new supply in my face ! I was choosing to believe in his fake promises and forgetting about the harsh cold reality he actually treated me with ! So just say I was at fault ! So that you can identify your own shortcomings ! Focus on you. Don't think about them or what they did. Focus on getting better and you will 🙏
Feeling the same ❤
Thank you for being an example of hope that there is healing ⚘
You are so welcome Kate xoxxo
Thank you so much! I’m on my way to healing and recovery and starting a new life. 🙏🏻♥️
I go to the trauma in my body regularly to sort it but i just drown in sadness.
Are you working with NARP sweetheart? xoxox
thank you so much for your videos. just left a narcissistic abusive relationship , with the father of my 18 month old son. it's been so hard
This resonates with me 100% and I believe it can help not ony people who were abused by a narc but all other who feel lost and struggle with identity. In essence, healing our traumas and recognizing we have and deserve needs, is a simple yet powerful tool to recreate our life.
That's an absolutely great and refreshing piece of advice Melanie and I am ultra grateful for this video. I adore the way you put it across, it's in a loving way, but very simple, concise and straight to the point, thank you! Looking forward to do all the tasks.
Lots of love from UK xx
This video is important. This is truly empowering and transformational. Thank you.
thank you Melanie, a thousand fold...you have given me true hope, made me laugh,helped me feel so much less alone...almost out...thank you keep the world posted
My pleasure Debbie. I'm so glad to help. Love and blessings Dear Lady xoxox
I can't stop watching these videos. Thank you so much x
My pleasure Griffin xoxox
So angry and feel so violent
T towards him. Instead of touching him I throw things The continuous blaming me for his infidelity is mind blowing.
For years I had a dream that I was 🏃 from the earth crumbling down around me. Until I moved into the house I'm in now, I call my interior rooms. 3 houses from my father and seven from my brother. I came to Ohio from new Mexico after my 4 th mental collapse . Wow now I know why I lost my memory and the Stockholm syndrome is real. They can't stand that even though we have our problems my husband and I are working on them and that we have a house from bobs Mother. It's hard to wrap my head around the vicious abuse they feel is their rightful inflict. I watched the 1940 gaslight movie this morning it reminded me of my mother she would do weird things like that psycho. I feel like if been under a spell and now I'm awoke to find I hadn't been sleeping it was all Real.
While I generally like Melanie's videos (including this one), I strongly disagree with the idea that doing background research will lead people into self-doubt. It may not have worked for her, but it has helped myself and many others. Obviously, reading up on psychology hasn't made me self-actualised or else I wouldn't have need to watch the video, but it has helped me develop greater self-awareness and tools for handling destructive situations.
Hi cBe9999, I am pleased your background research has helped you. I advocate that researching should be kept to a minimum because it keeps people 'stuck' in the pain. Because narcissism is not a mental condition it's a spiritual / emotional condition we can't heal it by finding out all we know about it. We turn inwards to find the answers. When we do that we are not merely surviving but thriving in life. That's what my work is all about and members work on a 90/10 ratio - 90% working on inner wound healing 10% on researching. I hope that clarifies why I say this for you and anyone else reading this. But I am happy you are happy hun and happy we can agree to disagree on this one - keep thriving!! xoxox
Starting from ground zero, never really understood all the lies from childhood, & how that effected me
I love you, dear lady.
Right town - I keep hearing the song "Funky Town". You made me smile with those phrases - Right Town/Wrong Town. Thanks beautiful lady. Right on time!
hahaha you are so welcome Kimberly xoxox
I need to listen to this 12 times - at least! Today I have been having alot of fear. I keep looking behind me and feeling like the psycho/narc might be there waiting for me. Can you offer any suggestions?
Do you have my programme NARP? If so, keep it simple and literal and take the fear to Module 1 shorter version or Module 8 to shift out the trapped trauma so you feel safe in the world again. If you don't have NARP, please join me in the free webinar so you can experience a Quanta Freedom Healing for yourself. I'll come back and leave the links for you later (the website is down for maintenance right now). This video may help too ... ua-cam.com/video/Nqr7B6nhilg/v-deo.html xoxox
Melanie Tonia Evans O.K. thank you Melanie
Here's the link for the webinar hun ... www.melanietoniaevans.com/freewebinar
I went to my first CoDa meeting last night and it was really helpful. Thank you for the support and guidance 💚🙏
Awesome Divine Commerce xoxox
Connecting with the Source 🙏
Is the Blessing 🙏🙏🙏.
Thank You Melanie 🙏🙏🙏💞💕💞
I believe when they are asking ehat should I work on they really mean - what module should I go to- I confuse myself with that also. I question if I'm going to thecorrect module to heal what I'm feeling. Melanie you are amazing! You have helped me to heal so quickly, with much less pain and suffering. You are our angel sent to us to assist us on our journey. Love you🥰
Aww Corey, it is my honor to assist you sweetheart! Corey, I'd love you to come on into the NARP Community Forum where you can receive some practical guidance from experienced NARPers. The info to join is the welcome section of your program hun. Corey- sweetheart, first of all you can't do it wrong ok? Which module you use is not as important as feeling it in the body and connecting and if in doubt- just use Module 1. I hope this helps hun and I do hope you'll join us on the member's only NARP Community Forum. Love and blessings xoxox
So enlightening Tonia, I am in the final part of my healing, it helps so much you are the top ones I listen, Thank you won't be ever enough to thank you... U so great thank u Ma'am... You help millions.... Thank you... Thank you.. ❤️To all in that great pain.... Tonia... Helps and really helps.... Listen many many times as you can for the same vid... It helps... God helps... All of us and Tonia❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Another great video and I love that you're in Melbourne's southeast, like me. I started watching months ago and bought the NARP program. I need to spend more time on it, but I started working back in May (after a six year break from the paid workforce) and have less time available. But it was the NARP program that helped me clear away enough wounds to be able to re-enter the workforce, and I love my new job. Life keeps improving the longer it is that I'm away from the Ex. Unfortunately we still need to go through the process of a financial settlement and that is stressful. I have a family court appointment in late November. If anyone could recommend a good counsellor in the south east of Melbourne, one who really understands CPTSD and narcissistic abuse, that would be good as I think I might need that to get through the court process. I have a lawyer that I like and trust so that is helpful but it is not his role to provide emotional support.
Thank you Cheryl, I love that you already have NARP and have healed enough to turn your life around YAYA!! Hun, Module 8 will help you with the financial settlement and Court processes, and the lovely members in the Forum will support you too.
Thrive on Dear One xoxox
Thanks for replying. I will have a look (listen) at Module 8 over the weekend. Thanks for everything you do. I would never have realised what I was dealing with if I hadn't come across your videos. I knew things weren't right and that I found my ex's behavior frustrating and infuriating, and very, very hurtful, but it was your videos that helped me see why she behaved the way she did. I will keep watching, get back to NARP and keep thriving whatever the outcome with the court. xxx
My pleasure Cheryl and good luck at the Court xoxox
I think somewhere in my solar-plexus was a feeling that I would deserve a conviction by the judge for something I have not done. why? because I didn't run away when the sociopath hit me but "let myself be attacked". my head knows I don't deserve this double-punishment (once by being attacked and then by being slandered) but my stomach somehow didnt know yet.
Beautiful words very in core. Thank you and blessed be 🙏 ❤️ I do extra inner work and healing on the quantum level. Ur words are very on point
Thank you for sharing your wisdom with me, You are brilliant 😘
You are SO welcome Chuck xoxox
Fantastic and timely! Thank you!
Yeah!!!! New video and just what I needed❤️❤️❤️🙌🏼
Awesome Beauty on the beach!! xoxox
Amazing. I am finally ready to do this work.
A little hard to understand how to shift the traumas. I do find your videos so far to be easier to understand than some. Trying to make and save money to get out and still work on myself. Unusual for me to put myself as priority but then I used to realize I had more to give if I took care of myself. Looking forward to reconnecting with myself. I used to like "her". 🙂
I am honestly in so much pain right now. He was so manipulative and cunning, such a liar. He broke up with me today after telling me I’m not good enough and I feel so shattered. I feel like nothing. He has left me financially screwed and in so much pain. I don’t know what to do or how to proceed.
I hope youre doing so much better now a year later if you dont have one I suggest a counselor. Mine is helping me get my self worth back and feel god enough again. The manipulative behavior from my partner and all the lies I cant trust anyone anymore.
Thanks for sharing , your words are truly healing & appreciated ❤️🙏🏻......
thankyou ..... I really needed to hear this ..... xx
Today I fell back into victimconciousness (I hope I got that word right? Not a native Speaker) and I asked the Universe (in Form of UA-cam ;)) for an answer. This Video is what came out and reminded me to go back within and in touch with the beautiful (sometimes horrible) inner Landscape. Years ago this Video would have trigeered my ego immensely because I thought what is destroyed by others must be rebuild by them. But that is not true. I am the Builder of the most beautiful kingdom. It is not build in a day and sometimes we stumble on the way (Like me today :D ) and need a reminder. Thank you for reminding me. I truly and fully appreciate it.
@ myransary you're funny!
I agree that all possible insecurities or inadequacies have been attacked and validated by these crazy lunatic narcissists. What is the point of them anyway? So all of us can get much stronger or become alcoholics. ; )
Anyway, happy healing to all given this unfortunate circumstance of allowing an NPD demon in your life.
Very helpful as always! Thank you .
My pleasure Malissa, I'm happy you enjoyed it xoxox
Excellent. Thank you Mel!
This really helps. Thank you!
My pleasure Judith. Love and blessings xoxox
How do I do the work "directly in my body?" Loved this. Thank you for your compassion and understanding.
You are so welcome Marie. You work with Quanta Freedom Healing and can experience this for yourself in my free webinar, where I take you through a QFH shift. If it's something you would like to try you can join here www.melanietoniaevans.com/freewebinar also look out for my 'Shifts Happen' video with members as I take them through a QFH too. xoxox
Thank You Melanie.
My great pleasure Robert. Love and blessings xoxox
violent raging mother when I did what made me happy. I decide to release myself by saying NO
this was powerfully relevant for me thank you :)
Awesome Super Jamesus, I'm happy it has helped you xoxox
this is great! I am woodworking and doing and making things to be happy!
Thank you.
Thanks, Mel.
You are so welcome hun xoxox
How do you simply "shift" feelings? What are you literally meant to do?
You don't. This is wishy-washy Deepak Chopra stuff, and it's just a bunch of words put together without meaning. We have to take each issue individually, analyze it, process it, and come up with steps to retrain our brain to function in a healthy way. That's what having a good therapist who knows about this kind of abuse can help with
Thank you so very much!!!
You are SO welcome Anne xoxox
I love what u have to say, but, I cannot get on ur subscription? please figure out why, bc, I'm sure I'm not the only one who needs this help. thank u so much for who u r and what u do for people. God bless u.
Hello Jaclin,
It might be that the Google analytics code (tracker) isn't able to work through your security or privacy settings in your browser. You can use this link to sign up to the New Life Starter Pack: www.melanietoniaevans.com/articles/narcsignup.htm)
Love and blessings xoxox
You are so pretty!
Thank you Wuffiecat. :) Love and blessings xoxox
Such a great video, thank you! Step 5 was the most helpful 🥰
So glad Hannah! xoxo
Everything I do hurts ! Everything is an effort, and I have no desire to association with anyone. I only talk to my mother and sister. My mother is 85 and my sister is a drunk ! I have not even talked to them in two weeks because I’m not a gossip and I hate drama .
You re brilliant wish I could afford yoyr healing course but I can work with what youve said x
Hi Susannah,
I am happy to help. If you write into my support staff at support@melanietoniaevans.com with your circumstances, they will be happy to help.
Love and blessings xoxox
so insightful and helpful. thank you for taking the time to post this x
thank you beautiful soul 💗
You are so very Welcome, Nikki. Love and blessings to you. Xoxox
Great video thank you for your insight;)
Hi thank you so much I felt my old happiness personality been swapped by narcissistic x gf after we broke up and still not know how to get out from it
Hi Freez Vamp, I'd love you to sign up to my free 16 Day Recovery course www.youcanthrivebook.com/freecourse so you can receive daily supportive emails. It's a first step and you'll receive an invite into my free healing webinar so you can understand more and discover how you heal inside your body by releasing the traumas so you can feel some relief and start your healing journey. I'd love this for you. Love and blessings xoxox
Thank you!
My pleasure J xoxox
Make sure theyre actual narcissists. I listen to faux narcissists for entertainment daily. Always a chuckle.
12:35 this is a Word!
Thank you Melanie!
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The website is down right now for maintenance Sigrun, it should be back shortly xoxox
The one that tried to destroy selfworth
Slowly slowly the life’s spirit is taken away, day by day you remain and stay. Thinking good and love the goal, the one you love ebbs your soul.
Thats wrong I am right, thats bad not good is just the aim to change what stood.
Quick to judge and words to harm, intention is to spoil whats calm.
Never we achieve to make the grade, casting doubt and erode what’s made.
Bitterness and bad word slipped in, to change the innocence mind within.
Using words to cloud the view, turning facts with things not true.
Constantly on their guard for being praised, which could give confidence to he who slaved.
Insistence to break the will, worth and self belief, aiming spite to crush when weak.
Lots to say when things go wrong, evil words and moods last long.
Some regret for over reaction but never bowing to apology or detraction.
Sometimes quite when told to cease, but not for long as they have no peace.
Jealous, suspicion, doubt and lies, smiling face behind it cries.
Good ones come to be their friends, but spoilt with familiarity, cruel words it ends.
My opinion is their cry, I have to say I cannot lie. Feelings saddened by this brash way, to which kind people dare not say.
Leaving friends, family and those so close, scared and hurt with words so gross.,
Inflicting damage and bending minds , sapping life from which they find.
Others with family and loving home, fall foul to criticism, with words to moan.
Sometimes kind and showing heart , some tear to show their part.
Don’t be fooled there’s venom still and being up close they strike at will.
Even your own flesh and blood, believing stories saying bad not good.
Until the time their minds their own, realising the truth was not at home.
The spiteful one with bad to say, will be found out in time one day.
Waiting time, your children grow, to see the truth and love once more.
I really hope this isn't something I have to buy...I am on the edge, and can't afford anything that costs any amount of money. A lot of us need help, and people know we are in a vulnerable state, and more likely to try anything that someone promises us will work....She seems so knowledgeable...but if all of this is for a product, I feel very cheated. A lot of us can't afford things.
Hi Amy,
I'm happy to help. If you email in to support@melanietoniaevans.com and explain your circumstances, a member of my support team will be able to assist. I have many resources online that are free and you can access these by signing up here: www.melanietoniaevans.com/freestarterpackage.htm Love and blessings xoxox
Luv ur cat and the video, my narc wud pressure and force me into sex and it messed with my mind and now I feel empty.
The only way to develop your love and respect for yourself is to be aligned spiritually with your Source and the spiritual world. Nothing else will align your self or dignify you in a way that you don’t see what is a fake or bad person in front of you.
Narcissists are composed by 80 percent of the population. It’s a wave of them. They are insecure. Lack contact with their core being and envy the ones that have a healthy spiritual life to guide their intuition.
No wonder why so many people are lost and now is fashion to talk and talk about narcissism. Where in the press, radio, tv or theaters you see something healthy and aligned to give a model for the youth to aligne themselves?
Hollywood produces the most disarmonic movies ever. Crooked with crazy people, dirty words, arrogance, violence. WHAT DO WE EXPECT?
I have to agree with you on that. I was actually just talking to my friend earlier today about how there truly is a big wave of narcissists in today's world. I shuddered just thinking about it. We need more people like Melanie to address it. And I do believe all therapists should now be required to specialize in NPD so victims can seek help, because many of them don't understand the disorder.
While I agree with you on Hollywood, fame popularity, etc producing more Narcs into society, it's much much more than that...This is a terrible case of really poor upbringing, and you see it in all people..the rich or the poor, in safe or conflict ridden environments, any race religion ethnicity, there will be a Narc somewhere. It's just scary. We've got to educate ourselves and we should all take this seriously. Can't stress it enough. God help us all...
I am a 60 year old woman. My mother was quite beautiful and early on became fascinated with movie stars and her own appearance- you can see it in old photos how she imitated Hollywood stars. Well, she became a full blown narcissist and i am still trying to recover. It seems rather late in the game for me, but i have made progress. I try not to think of the wasted years of being so very very lost, or of my brother who was ruined. Narcissism is a terrible thing & Hollywood promotes it. Of course, the public is also responsible too for buying into our most shallow values.
feels like there is no self left. how do u mean connect to self
Hi flower essences, I would love to show you how to do it and invite you to a free healing workshop where you will get to connect to your inner self through Quanta Freedom Healing ... www.melanietoniaevans.com/freewebinar Love and blessings to you xoxox
What about if you keep getting jobs and the boss finds a way to bully you, is it you who is triggering something in them and they need to do work on themselves?
Hi Mysterious, everyone has wounds inside of them (until they heal them) and so people trigger each other! This might help you blog.melanietoniaevans.com/the-narcissist-in-the-workplace/ and if you would like to learn how to heal your own wounds I would love you to connect to my free resources hun xoxox www.melanietoniaevans.com/freecourse
Many thanks Melanie, i have just read the first link, it made a lot of sense, i feel tons better. I will never sell my soul for an easy life. Sometimes i get tired from staying silent (when i want to vent but know it wont do any good) but i take time out to recharge and then bounce back. I just leave a really bad workplace as they do not deserve an honest, hardworking person in their company. I told the agency why i left and they seemed to defend what the company had done, money talks lol
This sounds very familiar to me, thank you for your advice.🌸
You are most welcome, Palma!! It is my pleasure, as always. Love and Blessings to you. xoxox
Excellent
Cheers you are right
it would be so hard to help people after you have gone thru naricssitc abuse. i dont know how she does this i would be triggered . id be to scared to go there.
This may help you Flower essences blog.melanietoniaevans.com/are-you-afraid-to-go-inside/ Love and blessings to you xoxo
Is it possible for us both to be narcissists? I'm so frustrated and confused! Reading through texts from 2 years ago (in a five year roller coaster ride) and I was frustrated then asking the same questions and demanding why she thinks its okay to treat me the way she does. Two years ago is about when I took a leave of absence from my job of 8+ years to get to the root of the issue and to show how serious I was about resolving these unanswered and avoided things that I couldn't ignore or let her dance around anymore. and to show her that my job that I loved so much was on hold for the betterment of us and our family. Boy has it been a dive straight for the worse since then. Maybe I was manipulating the situation by trying to force answers to these danced around issues I had, not her, that I just couldn't overlook or endure the feelings accompanied with her treatment of me. It was like I was a whipping post for her deepest secrets, that by the violent and physical outrages, were eating at her from the inside out like a potent acid.
Why didn't I just leave then when she refused to answer to her actions or even apologize???? Am I the narcissist for being selfish and demanding answers?
Now I am the jobless, freeloading, substance abusing creep, that is homeless and can't be trusted with anything said or done. mainly I believe because I didnt tell or talk to a soul about it to save her any embaressment yet she has for the last couple of years selectively shared my bad texts and pushed me into crazy at just the perfect times for the right people to see. at first I knowingly did it and took the humiliation so she would feel for me and stop. It only got worse and now here I am living in a room in a basement with an old friend that im just too humiliated and hurt to talk to and he just wouldnt understand why I was such a fool by not walking away before I lost and give up everything. everything i had left that she didnt destroy, smash or throw away that i didnt catch and pull out of the dumpster. The whole time I was provoking her to reach her melting point. Instead I get the hidden smurks and evil laughs that she directs at me when no one else can see or hear and I truly believe that those are the first glimpses that anyone has seen of the True, 43 year old "Private Catholic School Teacher" and what she is really capable of under her facade she's perfected. Yet I still cant help but wonder if this is somehow my fault because of my narcissistic personality disorder. ???
Hi Dee, these resources may help you further. Many people involved with a true narcissist end up feeling they are the narcissist because the narcissist is looking for a reaction to gain narcissistic supply and because of the things a narcissist does, it is very easy to use narc traits back at them. Have a look at these for your answers blog.melanietoniaevans.com/the-narcissist-and-co-dependent-two-sides-of-the-same-coin/ blog.melanietoniaevans.com/am-i-the-narcissist/ ua-cam.com/video/aa75ynfu4WI/v-deo.html I hope they help xoxox
Thank you Melanie.
@@deetree2717 I hope two years on you are in a better place. It is perfectly reasonable for you to have expected her to be straight and not 'dance around' problems and just lose her temper all the time. Hearing your story it does not sound to me like you are narcissistic, it sounds like you were a strong person who firstly spoke your principles and made decisions to try to work on your relationship, but was worn down and humiliated by someone who had so much baggage and refused to work on it. Even if she wasn't a narc, she was toxic, and that's enough for you to say 'no more of this' and start to get your self back. Best Wishes
I loved this!
Hi! I want to do one of Melanie's programs. There appears to be a few? I'm 5 months post escape and NC. I've been shattered by 5 yr relationship with psychopath.... Can you recommend which program is the best one to start? Thank you!
Hi Peaceful, NARP is the core programme and one I highly recommend to heal from all the wounds www.melanietoniaevans.com/services/narc-abuse-recovery.htm. I suggest joining me in the webinar as a prequel to joining as there are some special offers at the end you may like! xoxox www.melanietoniaevans.com/freewebinar
my brain hurts from all the fancy words that I forget what it is all about LOL
I understand shifting to me but what does she mean...because she just says shift it . This is real work ♡ a real activity...I'm guessing there is a book or program she has that would go deeper into her method
Hi Jillian,
Yes, there is. You can see this here: courses.melanietoniaevans.com/p/narp/ Love and blessings xoxox