im 37 and im still single. always had really bad self-esteem around women i'm attracted to & scared to take risks. most of the time im just at home in front of a screen working on stuff. sometimes when i go out to events or public places i just wanna go back home & work. im doing my best to not give up. when i was in my 20s, i was around more women because i was invited to various get togethers, and i was in college too. nowadays i have to brainstorm more ways to meet women constantly. the only place that i can meet and talk to women is my current job. i can cold approach but i have to socially warm up so much before i can do so. its tough but i will not give up.
I leave the house all the time. I'm a pretty attractive guy who's in great shape, am outgoing, charismatic, and loves talking with people. I used to go to bars and clubs almost every weekend, and I've regularly gone to improv classes, meetup events, dance classes and more for years. I can start and keep conversations going easily and get genuinely excited when meeting new people. Bringing a fun energy and making people smile and laugh is something I absolutely love to do. But no matter what I do, I never get interest from ANY of the girls that I'm interested in. None. I'm in a better position and put in more energy than the majority of guys, but get the same results. What can I do to turn this around?
Hey Todd just wanted to say THANK YOU! I'm autistic, and your (100% FREE) content gave me enough of an understanding of the dynamics of dating to get enough experience to meet an amazing woman I've been living with for almost 2 years now & plan to marry. I liked how your approach was on UNDERSTANDING the dynamics, and simple ways to interact with women that didn't feel shitty or manipulative. Turns out they're just like me in different circumstances. We met in person, but I also had much more success via OLD. I never purchased a course or coaching, just studied carefully and took notes in a spreadsheet of key dynamics & ways to handle situations. Wish there was some way I could repay you. Thank you for helping me meet the love of my life in my late 20s as I was giving up hope, it's wonderful to be able to start a family now.
how was your dating life like before you met her? just asking because, lots of guys with autism have never had girlfriends before, and they go well into their 20s, enter 30s, 40s and older
I am 32, handsome( to the point i get random comments) I have hobbies( salsa, bachata dance, love riding my e bike and workout) My money is on point and i have a purpose and career Im humble and kind and i even approach women like 3 to 4 times a week I know my short comings, I cant talk shit or talk just to get a tone of me, i only speak if i need to. Im calm and relaxed so low energy, when i switch to high energy i cant sustain it for long. Im not afraid to bring a little tease and flirt in but it doesnt work usually. The only women i attract are below average ones or older women like in their 50s. The young ones seem to run from me. Every interaction is a minefield to me and the moment you do something wrong they loose attraction and its over..im just tired of it because it happens all the time and thats reality, reality deedbacks to me im not good enough or im boring. I try not to believe it and keep going but ive veen trying for over 5 years now...im hurt, and tired
you are stuck in a mental block where you internalize your narrative. you look at outcomes, you think "Ah okay this is because " (even if you don't realize it, THIS IS CONSTANTLY HAPPENING in your brain). All you have to do, and this can be very easy or very hard depending on your approach, is INTERRUPT this process in your brain through whatever means. Good luck :>
@@newhusk If what you say isn't true, do you think your attitude can poison the reality that you don't need to be alone? I'm asking you how can beliefs rig outcomes?
If a girl rejects me, I see it as a direct rejection of my being, the very core of who I am. I open myself to them, they see the depths of who I am, and say “no thanks” This is why I am single.
How are you communicating the very core of who you are? Are these rejections from initial approaches or when a girl gets to know you? How is it that you even know the core of yourself to begin with and can it change?
@hellothere2865 approach more girls. Write down what you can improve and get out and try again. Go to the gym, learn good hygiene and within a few months you’ll be a new man
I am single because I completely lack the desire to interact romantically with anyone and I have serious trouble getting along with women. God has called me to a lifetime of singleness and I am finding singleness to be far more fulfilling and happy than trying to find a woman to date.
I'm single because I'm focused on getting my business off the ground and trying to acquire customers. I spoke to a very successful businessman and he told me if I really want to become ultra successful and ultra wealthy in my start up I have to be willing to sacrifice things and avoid distractions that have nothing to do with my business. At least at the beginning. But if I just want a regular job then work life balance is more feasible
Leave and get out of house, go hangout in social place(club, coffee shop, Mall), say stuff with confidence (dont doubt, and think your story is very cool!), share human experience, main point is relatable human experience. Question - answer - tease: boring question, boring answer back, tease anything unusal, interesting or curious about their answer. If you cant tease, just have insight and opinion, it is great convo, that is you giving value.
We need a lot more advice for people working from zero. Having trouble leaving the house, forming conversations and connections and getting the will to do anything. Maybe have discord or online forum for discussing these things.
I haven't yet found that eclipse of a woman I am attracted to also being attracted to me. I recently had a woman approach me and I gamed her because the confidence boost and conversation practice. She was unhealthily obese to the point she had trouble moving.
I joined a yoga class to be around women more often and get used to it, but still, I find myself sucking on talking to them generally. My social skills are just in complete atrophy for spending way too much time working, no matter how much I try to improve it. I end up just talking to the older 60yo women instead of the ones my age, (30ish). I'd love to see a video on a "first aid kit" to not being autistic and weird to women or people in general. Truth is I do believe in most cases, brainwashing yourself into being charismatic feels like the wrong way to go about it. I do believe deeply, that most women would be better of with a millionaire Chad instead of me, that I don't have all things in life figured out yet, because that's reality. If you are not a top-shelf guy why act like one. Seems contradictory, seems like a quick fix for a deeper problem, which is "it just takes years to build yourself up to something worthy of being with" as a man.
Just a note, haven't you ever seen any movie character that is a hyperbolic portrayal of a who has everything going for them, but is an awful person with misaligned priorities? And they are contrasted against a humble and kind person? Everyone watches that movie and knows that the humble, kind person is the better person to have in life, because character is everything.
@@XanderL Could it be that the reason you believe "humble" and "kind" to be the ultimate virtues for one's "character" is because you were socially conditioned to believe that? None of the great moral philosophers ever elevated humbleness and kindness to the top of the values hierarchy. I'd suggest you go read some moral philosophy, maybe start with Plato, Socrates, and Friedrich Nietzsche.
Just go bar hopping and “Practice” there, it’s perfect cause no one is gonna give a shit. Or daygame fuckit. But yea idk practice general social skills fuck
@@ZM-dm3jgPlato and Socrates hated women to the point that they thought relationships with prepubescent boys were preferable. Nietzsche had no love life, proposed to one woman who turned him down as far as I remember from reading about it. These philosophers may have had brilliant ideas but they weren't exactly dating coaches and didn't leave any advice on the topic. Socrates did have a great social life though lol, he also argued things like how the importance of staying in shape was so you could be useful to the polis, so he and Plato weren't exactly suggesting that the pinnacle of humanity would be someone who was a selfish asshole all the time. Nietzsche wasn't exactly either in my opinion after spending a little while with his books, even though that seems clear enough from an initial reading. They aren't even the end all be all of philosophy. The book The Philosophy of Zen Buddhism by Byung-Chul Han - which compares Zen Buddhism against a handful of prominent Western philosophers, made me skeptical of many of their basic assumptions. Even those of Nietzsche the iconoclast. I don't think that "humble and kind" is necessarily a recipe for dating success - but if you look at a lot of these underdog characters you'd see other charismatic traits the guy you responded to failed to mention, like assertiveness in the face of some rich asshole for example, mixed in alongside the Hollywood bs stuff.
1. you need therapy not a dating coach. try CBT or some shadow work. 2. you do not "brainwash" yourself into being charismatic, it is a skill like any other and you will get better with practice. 3. on the subject of philosophy I think stoacism is a good place to start as you really need to learn to respect yourself. 4. some recommended reading is Mark Manson's Models and The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck. Dale Carnegie's How to Win Friends and Influence People. Olivia Fox Cabane's The charisma myth and Carol Dweck's Mindset.
#8 I feel like I am, while my life situation is objectively ok, still kind of behind other potential options for girls. I’m 29, haven’t had a real girlfriend, still live at home, drive away from the city. No consistent social group, either or real passions that I could be dedicated to (other than hot girls). I’m sure I could try for short-term wins and just get good at game in general before moving out. Could you address this?
i honestly think most of us know why we are single deep down it doesnt hurt for someone to point it out but most of us have a life some of us really dont want to live it that bad because of the cost of being ourselves which can have growing pains
I’m 31 and I’m single for the first time in 10 years. I was with 3 women over that time period. One for 4 years, another for 5 years and the most recent one was 10 months. The only thing you missed out on is being blamed for everything and not being good enough for anything.
I’m single and not even dating anymore there’s no point to it tbh. I also am focusing on my career as a recent graduate. I’ve never been happier than checking out of this dating world. I think I’m going to be single forever because of the fact solitude is very very peaceful.
Nobody ever really talks to me unless they're homeless and asking for money. Or they're a cashiernor something and they have to aclnowledge me as part of their job. A couple of times i went walking with my friend and his dog. He asked me to hold the leash for a little bit. A few women came up to acknowledge and pet the dog but they totally ignored me. I think one or two might jave just asked me what the dog's name was but that was it. I'm probably in that "not people" category that hoe_math talks about
Also, another good tip, especially if you have social issues: keep lowering your standards until you are no longer nervous around the girls you are approaching. And don't watch porn at all, use your imagination. You can always go up, but sometimes you need to start at the bottom to get in the game.
My biggest reason is that I have no friends. (I have some, but they’ve all moved out, have their own life and problems and have their own groups). I have friends from training (bjj, gym) but again, they have their own lives and group. And my job doesn’t involve working with others my age. So I’m just clueless on what to do
@@Cup.cake991I feel the same. Todd makes it look easy but where I’m at I feel like if you went to a dance club/mall by yourself to try and talk to girls it seems like it would be next to impossible to actually get anything started. I’ve tried it before lol and they’re all in big groups. I know Todd’s addressed big groups but that’s not a good place to start for a beginner/medium guy such as myself.
I do online dating, and it doesn't require friends to meet girls. You mainly just need to get really good pictures of yourself, and then follow Todd's advice about texting and first dates, it's a process most people could learn to do well. The biggest step that most guys miss is getting the great pictures to get enough matches.
The part about 'where to meet women' drove me insane for years. I hate having to go out of my way, somewhere I don't want to be, just on the 0.01% chance I meet someone to date. Then I moved to Orlando, got passes to the theme parks, and now I meet single girls at Disney world on a regular basis lol. sometimes you just need a big life change to push you
Thanks for your work! Not Because of me ( not just ), but in my point of view of making the human race better and helping tons of ppl! Exceptional acomplishment! Thank u!
@@Chankonabe69 I forget the titles offhand but they would be within the last years time. Gist of it, a wealthy but boring Guy leaves women bored. A broke yet exciting guy gets women excited. Essentially
I'm single because my gf was crazy af and didn't like how I followed the vet's instructions on administering medicine to our dog's ear versus what she thought I should do instead.
PART 3/ 3 SUMMARY: 1 Get out of the house: Will do, at least for a walk. in about half an hour, maybe to the store 2 Take action: Cant promise that. I can talk to someone if I see someone interesting, but I dont really have much of a reason for it, besides having a stranger girl riding me in my dimmed room for a few minutes maybe once a month. 3 Posting more crazy reasons for being single ? WELL I JUST DID :) ... plenty! Hope that will be amusing at least mine are really amusing, really serious, really real.. and hopefully really funny to some.
#8 I have my standards, dignity, self respect, and not a pushover. Therefore I'm a good man, so I'm ignored as I'm not a Chad, and can't be used for foodie calls like a "nice guy".
youre a good man, and thats why girls don't like you. No one likes being single. Just start being more and more disgreable and girls will like you. Thats literally it. you don't need to be a "chad." just act morle like an asshole.
I wonder what percentage of guys who think the whole 'unless you're a chad it's a waste of time' are actually able to maintain a conversation with a woman? And if you're one of the few guys who has actually maximised his attractiveness and still gets nowhere, you're probably trying to get girls way out of your league. The Chad's aren't hitting on the 6 out of 10 that most incel guys should be aiming for
Bars and clubs are definitely great ways to meet people. But, I don’t think many of them are looking for something serious… If you want something serious, I recommend going somewhere else
How do you guys cope with the rejections? I hate the thought of knowing that if a girl rejects me she will have an ego boost and I will get a punch in my self-confidence.
Far from single. But as a former player, a small business owner, and a sculpture artist....creating attraction and staying attractive is super important. I was in a cafe yesterday and I asked the check out girl her name after months of saying hello...her name was Nyla...I said Lyla? She said Nyla with an N...so I said in a deep calm voice...well Nyla, I will see you later. As I walked away I saw in the window reflection she watched me walk all the way out of the store. I guarantee she told her co workers (also cute girls) and she is waiting for the next time I come in. Do I need her attention? No. But she is only 22 and I'm 38...it gets my heart pumping and raises my social value by creating sexual tension without being needy. I want there to be whispers of me. "Without promotion, something terrible happens.....nothing." P.T. Barnum
Be careful not to do this just for a self validation high without really closing on a number. I had a friend do this every time we went out but he was single for over five years because he never had the courage to ask for a girl's number just doing enough to give himself a pat on the back but never enough to risk rejection.
I'm 23 and single because I'm not enough to attract a woman. I have personality, humor and confidence but I think I radiate an unattractive energy. I've never been approached in my life, even though I dress well. I'm 1.70 and my hair isn't the best, I think that's it.
Watching this video through, I just came out with a question! What can u suggest to the ppl, who tired of trying and failing all the time? Who gave all the efforts they can through years without any (noticable) progress and feel they are hopeless?!
Omg todd is such a G, bro. And he's getting better and better. He's actually my favorite dating coach. Todd, bro you should write a fucking BOOK. just saying. Id buy it.
How long did you try for, how hard did you try, and what did you do to improve yourself? If your answers are less than 10 years, not very hard, and not much, you have no one to blame but yourself. Get back up and try again, for real this time.
He's got hundreds of detailed videos and courses already, more advanced than most dating coaches. I think it's fine he reaches out to help the noobs (of which there are probably 100x more quantity in the world), it's probably great for him business-wise
@@Paul-yk7ds I tremendously respect Todd, we all know how generous he is and how many fates he's made a ton better. If this is what's better for business, by all means Todd has all rights to never go beyond beginner target lay-up material and not be judged at all. Just having difficulty dealing with how much of a pity it is for his advanced homeboys like me to see him post vid after vid of the genre that is almost not PU anymore. I remember watching the same exact vids on these same themes like general nebulous dating advice 10 years ago by general charisma teaching guys that were even unaware of game. Hope you"ll throw more jaw-dropping fire on us one day again, Todd. You're Top G.
Im single because i have a huge emotional neglect scar from my childhood ( abondonment wound), im terrified to death if i stand next to a hot girl, i feel like passing out when talking to them..... Shit is scary yall
Try teaching them things about interesting topics, especially philosophical ones. It can be attractive and puts you in a masculine frame. Unless their eyes glaze over.
You're not the only one. What matters is what have you done to improve yourself, make yourself more attractive, and become more confident and charismatic? If you haven't done much to achieve these, then you deserve to be involuntarily celibate. This is coming from a guy who's spent nearly a decade improving EVERYTHING I can, has successfully done so, yet still is involuntarily celibate.
Bars and clubs? .... I don't know about clubs, don't really go to them because I can't dance and I'm older now. But Bars and clubs might have been the place to meet people in the past but I don't think that is the case now. People don't seem open to meeting strangers anymore, they are closed off in their groups and are not interested in "outsiders" interrupting them. The other thing is, I'm not good looking and get zero interest from women so maybe my perception is also based on that. No, I'm not over weight, yes I do shower and brush my teeth etc before anyone goes on about it, hey just get in shape, keep your hygeine on point etc etc blah blah! 🤦 Looks matter and if you are not a good looking guy, may as well forget it.
The introversion/extraversion dichotomy isn't binary. If you're truly depressed, try getting on SSRIs for a short period if you truly can't will yourself out of your predicament without them. Better to be on meds and thriving than a slouch who can't even find the energy to get out on the weekend. Jordan Peterson actually took SSRIs for years before he told anyone about them and he used them to get out of some dark periods of his life. No shame in it. all about perspective, Colin. Gotta change that shit up.
@@colin6673 Isn't it crazy that you can take a drug called anti-depressant and still be depressed? Perhaps your issue isn't biological then. I've got no solution for you other than try other shit. It's about all we can do as men.
It's easy to get into a relationship, it's hard to get out of it. Women start getting possessive and expect me to not talk to other women in less than 2 weeks. 😂
The feminist movement have killed the dating vibe. We started travel for dating lifestyle and its going aowsome at least for me. Its day an night different as far as dating. And we love it.
Not to be negative; but women simply don't like me. I am decent looking, decent at conversation, 6ft tall, own a house, make decent income, get out and about. Online dating=nothing. In person= No interest.
the more I see these videos, the more I realize I have no hope. I am not shy, I do not lose myself, I just know people. Between 3-5 years kids go out, meet other kids, while still rely on parents for stability. That is why they random run back to the parents then go to the kids again without asking anything of the parents. Well I did not had that luxury, I was on my own all day outside, so in order for me to interact with the kids I had to read the parents. Some were wellcoming, some not, but the main aspect is the lesson about how make myself agreable was not in my curriculum. I can read people like they are books for kids, no challenge at all, but nobody given the choice, will no pick me. We are in a group and they want to see a movie, I am not in it. Sure people talk to me and joke with me, but It is out of necesity. They need my help and good will for work, so they are nice, but as I said, their simple minds don't fool me. Nobody will choose me to just socialize.
Its possible you are not socialized and weird people out. One major problem I have is eye contact, and it sounds to me based on your story, that has a high likelihood of being an issue for you. Eye contact is extremely important for social acceptance because it basically signals so much, interest, it signals anxiety, it can signal danger. It may not be an issue but it's worth strongly evaluating.
I worked with a guy that had a pretty big facial deformity. And he still got girls. Another friend of mine went bald at 18 and is short, ended up getting married to a pretty decent chick. It’s not about looks it’s about attitude. As guys we can bring more to the table than just looks and girls will value that.
This is not the norm, I'm in shape, I'm funny and confident, can have laugh with anyone, had women tell me how much they enjoy my company because I'm fun to be around. Me: Well hey, let's go for a drink then, I'm free Wednesday or Friday. how about it? Her: Oh, er, I think you're nice but I don't see you in that way, we can be friends though! Or, the more direct women: I don't date ugly guys. Sure, it's not about looks.
@@BobInnes Of course looks matter, but you've just accepted that rejection and internalized their opinions. If you tried with 100 girls, even if you had only a 5% chance, that's 5 girls that would be interested. Law of large numbers man.
I don't see how dance classes are great to meet women. Sure you dance with women but they dance with 100 men. There's no way to stand out and you only really have a few mins with each one
I have a few thoughts. The communication portion of this video is somewhat useful, considering it's basically just using psychology in order to manipulate a desired effect. It's pretty cut-and-dry and can be proven scientifically to work. However, the rest of the video is virtually useless to most men. Especially the first half, talking about meeting women and where to do it. I feel that you are either being purposefully dishonest or blissfully ignorant of the fact that at least 80% of the people watching your channel will not be able to properly utilize most of your advice. The reason being is because you have done absolutely nothing to address the primary thing that causes difficulty in the dating world for men. That being the current state of women. The insane feminism and entitlement that has taken hold of virtually all of Western Civilization. I know some mouth breather is going to accuse me of being a woman hater or some other arbitrary label used to dismiss dissension. Facts are on my side, statistics are on my side and a quick search on virtually any social media platform will show that I am 100% correct and this is an overarching problem that is being noticed. Even some of the mainstream media have run a few stories and articles here and there about men not dating and having issues . You know something is at least becoming topical when legacy Media actually takes the time to talk about it. So let's be frank, it has been essentially proven mathematically that around 80% of women in general are only chasing 5% to 10% of men collectively. This has been documented and proven by various studies and huge amounts of data mining from major dating sites. That's pretty easy to track considering everything that takes place on those dating sites is recorded and there's absolutely no privacy on the internet anymore. We can see which men women are swiping on. The results are unanimous across the board. So I returned to my previous point, why are you not telling men the truth? Or is it a lie of omission? You cleverly leave out the fact that your advice only applies to men that are considered to be in the top 10%. The classic 666 man. You are one of these men, so of course you have success whenever you go out to test your theories or make a video. You essentially are cheating the system because you are the object of almost every single woman's desire exclusively. The rest of men do not have this advantage and at this point are essentially invisible. Men like myself who are of good intelligence but low physical attraction will never be considered by anyone unless we get extremely wealthy. In which case we are simply a walking ATM and nothing more. Not to mention the fact that nowadays it is actually risky for men to approach women. A man like myself has to make careful consideration whether the risk is even worth it. The fact that some women will not hesitate to make false allegations against somebody simply because they don't find them attractive. These days it is entirely reasonable to assume that you may be formally charged with some form of harassment simply for walking up to a woman that you find attractive and saying hello. You cover up these facts or just ignore them entirely and I find your videos to be extremely disingenuous and only partially useful. Basically I think you're just a grifter. You're no better than Alpha M. That moron had me fooled for a short time until I realized that he really didn't say much of value. If you really want to help men at least tell them the truth, if they're not in that top 10% they're most likely never going to get anything from women. So unless we can magically become extremely attractive and extremely rich, we are going to continue to do what we are doing now, fade into obscurity.
I'm not single, but I clicked because of Todd, because Todd is the main reason I'm not single.
Woah
Niiiiiiiice
Lol I thought exactly the same
I personally think Bobby Rio is the best coach for long-term serious relationships but Todd's got better cold approach advice.
Same dude same
“Better than awful” that phrase is awesome. I feel like I’m not the best at setting up dates but this girl I’m seeing enjoys being with me.
im 37 and im still single. always had really bad self-esteem around women i'm attracted to & scared to take risks. most of the time im just at home in front of a screen working on stuff. sometimes when i go out to events or public places i just wanna go back home & work.
im doing my best to not give up. when i was in my 20s, i was around more women because i was invited to various get togethers, and i was in college too. nowadays i have to brainstorm more ways to meet women constantly. the only place that i can meet and talk to women is my current job. i can cold approach but i have to socially warm up so much before i can do so. its tough but i will not give up.
How long you been single ?
Tip: go and join a dancing class.
I leave the house all the time. I'm a pretty attractive guy who's in great shape, am outgoing, charismatic, and loves talking with people. I used to go to bars and clubs almost every weekend, and I've regularly gone to improv classes, meetup events, dance classes and more for years.
I can start and keep conversations going easily and get genuinely excited when meeting new people. Bringing a fun energy and making people smile and laugh is something I absolutely love to do.
But no matter what I do, I never get interest from ANY of the girls that I'm interested in. None. I'm in a better position and put in more energy than the majority of guys, but get the same results. What can I do to turn this around?
This is the most frustrating thing. When you’re decently attractive, fit, have hobbies, do everything people say, and still can’t meet a girl
@@ChanceBerryman Glad I'm not the only guy who knows how frustrating it is.
Hey Todd just wanted to say THANK YOU! I'm autistic, and your (100% FREE) content gave me enough of an understanding of the dynamics of dating to get enough experience to meet an amazing woman I've been living with for almost 2 years now & plan to marry.
I liked how your approach was on UNDERSTANDING the dynamics, and simple ways to interact with women that didn't feel shitty or manipulative.
Turns out they're just like me in different circumstances. We met in person, but I also had much more success via OLD.
I never purchased a course or coaching, just studied carefully and took notes in a spreadsheet of key dynamics & ways to handle situations. Wish there was some way I could repay you.
Thank you for helping me meet the love of my life in my late 20s as I was giving up hope, it's wonderful to be able to start a family now.
how was your dating life like before you met her? just asking because, lots of guys with autism have never had girlfriends before, and they go well into their 20s, enter 30s, 40s and older
I am 32,
handsome( to the point i get random comments)
I have hobbies( salsa, bachata dance, love riding my e bike and workout)
My money is on point and i have a purpose and career
Im humble and kind and i even approach women like 3 to 4 times a week
I know my short comings,
I cant talk shit or talk just to get a tone of me, i only speak if i need to. Im calm and relaxed so low energy, when i switch to high energy i cant sustain it for long. Im not afraid to bring a little tease and flirt in but it doesnt work usually. The only women i attract are below average ones or older women like in their 50s. The young ones seem to run from me.
Every interaction is a minefield to me and the moment you do something wrong they loose attraction and its over..im just tired of it because it happens all the time and thats reality, reality deedbacks to me im not good enough or im boring. I try not to believe it and keep going but ive veen trying for over 5 years now...im hurt, and tired
you are stuck in a mental block where you internalize your narrative. you look at outcomes, you think "Ah okay this is because " (even if you don't realize it, THIS IS CONSTANTLY HAPPENING in your brain). All you have to do, and this can be very easy or very hard depending on your approach, is INTERRUPT this process in your brain through whatever means. Good luck :>
Not everyone have a chance to share his life with women. No worries, im 29 and after this year i know i will be alone till death.
@@newhusk If what you say isn't true, do you think your attitude can poison the reality that you don't need to be alone? I'm asking you how can beliefs rig outcomes?
If a girl rejects me, I see it as a direct rejection of my being, the very core of who I am. I open myself to them, they see the depths of who I am, and say “no thanks”
This is why I am single.
Means you have already rejected yourself.
How are you communicating the very core of who you are? Are these rejections from initial approaches or when a girl gets to know you? How is it that you even know the core of yourself to begin with and can it change?
Ok Jordan same here I turn into mj
@@Firecelebi+1
@hellothere2865 approach more girls. Write down what you can improve and get out and try again. Go to the gym, learn good hygiene and within a few months you’ll be a new man
I am single because I completely lack the desire to interact romantically with anyone and I have serious trouble getting along with women. God has called me to a lifetime of singleness and I am finding singleness to be far more fulfilling and happy than trying to find a woman to date.
How's therapy going?
I'm single because I'm focused on getting my business off the ground and trying to acquire customers. I spoke to a very successful businessman and he told me if I really want to become ultra successful and ultra wealthy in my start up I have to be willing to sacrifice things and avoid distractions that have nothing to do with my business. At least at the beginning. But if I just want a regular job then work life balance is more feasible
Leave and get out of house, go hangout in social place(club, coffee shop, Mall), say stuff with confidence (dont doubt, and think your story is very cool!), share human experience, main point is relatable human experience.
Question - answer - tease: boring question, boring answer back, tease anything unusal, interesting or curious about their answer.
If you cant tease, just have insight and opinion, it is great convo, that is you giving value.
Great tips on asking/saying more interest inciting things...
We need a lot more advice for people working from zero. Having trouble leaving the house, forming conversations and connections and getting the will to do anything. Maybe have discord or online forum for discussing these things.
I'm temporarily single, and this video is a good motivation before a long weekend.
Reason #1: Too handsome and awesome.
Ironically true
I haven't yet found that eclipse of a woman I am attracted to also being attracted to me. I recently had a woman approach me and I gamed her because the confidence boost and conversation practice. She was unhealthily obese to the point she had trouble moving.
I joined a yoga class to be around women more often and get used to it, but still, I find myself sucking on talking to them generally. My social skills are just in complete atrophy for spending way too much time working, no matter how much I try to improve it. I end up just talking to the older 60yo women instead of the ones my age, (30ish). I'd love to see a video on a "first aid kit" to not being autistic and weird to women or people in general. Truth is I do believe in most cases, brainwashing yourself into being charismatic feels like the wrong way to go about it. I do believe deeply, that most women would be better of with a millionaire Chad instead of me, that I don't have all things in life figured out yet, because that's reality. If you are not a top-shelf guy why act like one. Seems contradictory, seems like a quick fix for a deeper problem, which is "it just takes years to build yourself up to something worthy of being with" as a man.
Just a note, haven't you ever seen any movie character that is a hyperbolic portrayal of a who has everything going for them, but is an awful person with misaligned priorities? And they are contrasted against a humble and kind person? Everyone watches that movie and knows that the humble, kind person is the better person to have in life, because character is everything.
@@XanderL Could it be that the reason you believe "humble" and "kind" to be the ultimate virtues for one's "character" is because you were socially conditioned to believe that? None of the great moral philosophers ever elevated humbleness and kindness to the top of the values hierarchy. I'd suggest you go read some moral philosophy, maybe start with Plato, Socrates, and Friedrich Nietzsche.
Just go bar hopping and “Practice” there, it’s perfect cause no one is gonna give a shit. Or daygame fuckit. But yea idk practice general social skills fuck
@@ZM-dm3jgPlato and Socrates hated women to the point that they thought relationships with prepubescent boys were preferable. Nietzsche had no love life, proposed to one woman who turned him down as far as I remember from reading about it. These philosophers may have had brilliant ideas but they weren't exactly dating coaches and didn't leave any advice on the topic. Socrates did have a great social life though lol, he also argued things like how the importance of staying in shape was so you could be useful to the polis, so he and Plato weren't exactly suggesting that the pinnacle of humanity would be someone who was a selfish asshole all the time. Nietzsche wasn't exactly either in my opinion after spending a little while with his books, even though that seems clear enough from an initial reading. They aren't even the end all be all of philosophy. The book The Philosophy of Zen Buddhism by Byung-Chul Han - which compares Zen Buddhism against a handful of prominent Western philosophers, made me skeptical of many of their basic assumptions. Even those of Nietzsche the iconoclast.
I don't think that "humble and kind" is necessarily a recipe for dating success - but if you look at a lot of these underdog characters you'd see other charismatic traits the guy you responded to failed to mention, like assertiveness in the face of some rich asshole for example, mixed in alongside the Hollywood bs stuff.
1. you need therapy not a dating coach. try CBT or some shadow work.
2. you do not "brainwash" yourself into being charismatic, it is a skill like any other and you will get better with practice.
3. on the subject of philosophy I think stoacism is a good place to start as you really need to learn to respect yourself.
4. some recommended reading is Mark Manson's Models and The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck. Dale Carnegie's How to Win Friends and Influence People. Olivia Fox Cabane's The charisma myth and Carol Dweck's Mindset.
#8 I feel like I am, while my life situation is objectively ok, still kind of behind other potential options for girls. I’m 29, haven’t had a real girlfriend, still live at home, drive away from the city. No consistent social group, either or real passions that I could be dedicated to (other than hot girls). I’m sure I could try for short-term wins and just get good at game in general before moving out. Could you address this?
i honestly think most of us know why we are single deep down it doesnt hurt for someone to point it out but most of us have a life some of us really dont want to live it that bad because of the cost of being ourselves which can have growing pains
The main reason I'm single even after following todd for 8 years is I can't overcome my fear of rejection
I didn't give up but it is frustrating
You give up every time you fail to make an approach. Time to stop giving up.
I'm 33 and never had a gf. I'm about to watch this
Many times it's overrated... However it can be good depending on the women you choose
I’m 31 and I’m single for the first time in 10 years.
I was with 3 women over that time period. One for 4 years, another for 5 years and the most recent one was 10 months.
The only thing you missed out on is being blamed for everything and not being good enough for anything.
if you are still a virgin, have you ever considered going to an escort or sex worker? or is paying for sex completely out of the question?
@@initiatorhater0688 that’s how I lost my virginity
I’m single and not even dating anymore there’s no point to it tbh. I also am focusing on my career as a recent graduate. I’ve never been happier than checking out of this dating world. I think I’m going to be single forever because of the fact solitude is very very peaceful.
Solitude is fine until you become lonely and have no idea what to do with the second half of your life
@@Louis-mg5jf I’m already lonely and I think if it goes well the second part will be way better that’s if my career worked out
Also no matter what environment you’re at , bar, club ,school,coffee shop you have to talk to people!! You have to open up wherever you are
You guys have houses 🏘 🤯
I have a house. Still not drowning in pussy.
Nobody ever really talks to me unless they're homeless and asking for money. Or they're a cashiernor something and they have to aclnowledge me as part of their job.
A couple of times i went walking with my friend and his dog. He asked me to hold the leash for a little bit. A few women came up to acknowledge and pet the dog but they totally ignored me. I think one or two might jave just asked me what the dog's name was but that was it. I'm probably in that "not people" category that hoe_math talks about
Also, another good tip, especially if you have social issues: keep lowering your standards until you are no longer nervous around the girls you are approaching. And don't watch porn at all, use your imagination.
You can always go up, but sometimes you need to start at the bottom to get in the game.
My biggest reason is that I have no friends. (I have some, but they’ve all moved out, have their own life and problems and have their own groups). I have friends from training (bjj, gym) but again, they have their own lives and group. And my job doesn’t involve working with others my age. So I’m just clueless on what to do
Sounds like you need to learn cold approach and going out alone
@@Louis-mg5jf i know, i’ve been considering it but it feels weird and cringe doing it alone, especially in the city and the ‘social rules’ I live in
@@Cup.cake991I feel the same. Todd makes it look easy but where I’m at I feel like if you went to a dance club/mall by yourself to try and talk to girls it seems like it would be next to impossible to actually get anything started. I’ve tried it before lol and they’re all in big groups.
I know Todd’s addressed big groups but that’s not a good place to start for a beginner/medium guy such as myself.
I do online dating, and it doesn't require friends to meet girls. You mainly just need to get really good pictures of yourself, and then follow Todd's advice about texting and first dates, it's a process most people could learn to do well. The biggest step that most guys miss is getting the great pictures to get enough matches.
@@Paul-yk7ds have you ever hired anyone?
The part about 'where to meet women' drove me insane for years. I hate having to go out of my way, somewhere I don't want to be, just on the 0.01% chance I meet someone to date.
Then I moved to Orlando, got passes to the theme parks, and now I meet single girls at Disney world on a regular basis lol. sometimes you just need a big life change to push you
I get more support from some guy on the internet named Todd than I do from any of my family members on the matter
Thanks for your work! Not Because of me ( not just ), but in my point of view of making the human race better and helping tons of ppl! Exceptional acomplishment! Thank u!
Todd, what about ho3flation? Relationships are super volatile these days, even if you have a ton to bring to the table
Did he go over being broke
Broke dudes can get laid.
In previous videos he has....
@@CoachSteveJandS which ones? because im interest. thanks
@@Chankonabe69 I forget the titles offhand but they would be within the last years time. Gist of it, a wealthy but boring Guy leaves women bored. A broke yet exciting guy gets women excited. Essentially
Todd don’t generalise your content we always wanted & will always need your typical technical videos on cold approach pick up
You need to pay for that!
💲💲💲
I'm single because I want to watch Todd's videos
I'm 45 and i live with my parents because they need someone there. I have a decent job and am not bad with women, but i have nowhere to take them.
I'm single because my gf was crazy af and didn't like how I followed the vet's instructions on administering medicine to our dog's ear versus what she thought I should do instead.
Cas the brain reacts to rejection the same way as it reacts to physical pain and weve been rejected too much. Brutally rejected.
PART 3/ 3
SUMMARY:
1 Get out of the house: Will do, at least for a walk. in about half an hour, maybe to the store
2 Take action: Cant promise that. I can talk to someone if I see someone interesting, but I dont really have much of a reason for it, besides having a stranger girl riding me in my dimmed room for a few minutes maybe once a month.
3 Posting more crazy reasons for being single ?
WELL I JUST DID :) ... plenty!
Hope that will be amusing
at least mine are really amusing, really serious, really real.. and hopefully really funny to some.
#8 I have my standards, dignity, self respect, and not a pushover. Therefore I'm a good man, so I'm ignored as I'm not a Chad, and can't be used for foodie calls like a "nice guy".
youre a good man, and thats why girls don't like you. No one likes being single. Just start being more and more disgreable and girls will like you. Thats literally it. you don't need to be a "chad." just act morle like an asshole.
I wonder what percentage of guys who think the whole 'unless you're a chad it's a waste of time' are actually able to maintain a conversation with a woman? And if you're one of the few guys who has actually maximised his attractiveness and still gets nowhere, you're probably trying to get girls way out of your league. The Chad's aren't hitting on the 6 out of 10 that most incel guys should be aiming for
@Louis-mg5jf I play in my age and looks range. Unfortunately at that level I'm dealing with a bunch of 49rs
Most girls will actually like that, as long as you don't take that mindset too far
I love girls in their 40's. They know what they want, don't play games and usually like to fuck, too. ( Not to sound 1D, but it's true).
It's a lifestyle choice.
Todd's legit and one of the most genuine online personalities out there
Bars and clubs are definitely great ways to meet people. But, I don’t think many of them are looking for something serious… If you want something serious, I recommend going somewhere else
Your really getting handsome again bro! Keep it up
I totally agree, Todd's looks have been on a come up
How do you guys cope with the rejections? I hate the thought of knowing that if a girl rejects me she will have an ego boost and I will get a punch in my self-confidence.
Thanks to the Gods that you exist!
Far from single. But as a former player, a small business owner, and a sculpture artist....creating attraction and staying attractive is super important. I was in a cafe yesterday and I asked the check out girl her name after months of saying hello...her name was Nyla...I said Lyla? She said Nyla with an N...so I said in a deep calm voice...well Nyla, I will see you later. As I walked away I saw in the window reflection she watched me walk all the way out of the store. I guarantee she told her co workers (also cute girls) and she is waiting for the next time I come in. Do I need her attention? No. But she is only 22 and I'm 38...it gets my heart pumping and raises my social value by creating sexual tension without being needy. I want there to be whispers of me. "Without promotion, something terrible happens.....nothing." P.T. Barnum
Love it
Be careful not to do this just for a self validation high without really closing on a number. I had a friend do this every time we went out but he was single for over five years because he never had the courage to ask for a girl's number just doing enough to give himself a pat on the back but never enough to risk rejection.
What did your wife think about that?
@@books4739 unfortunately I lost my wife back in 2015. Thanks for asking though.
What are the benefits of and how can I be more present in an interaction
I'm 23 and single because I'm not enough to attract a woman.
I have personality, humor and confidence but I think I radiate an unattractive energy. I've never been approached in my life, even though I dress well. I'm 1.70 and my hair isn't the best, I think that's it.
If You're not enough to attract a woman..well here's me 23 and obv. Single,
Short height ( 164), Introvert type and under confident.
My guy still at it !
Watching this video through, I just came out with a question! What can u suggest to the ppl, who tired of trying and failing all the time? Who gave all the efforts they can through years without any (noticable) progress and feel they are hopeless?!
Thank you!
Omg todd is such a G, bro. And he's getting better and better. He's actually my favorite dating coach. Todd, bro you should write a fucking BOOK. just saying. Id buy it.
Wait until you are 87 years old to date.
The 1st line of the Incel Manifesto
Single but who cares at this point. Think I'm over it.
I'm single because my girlfriend of 3 years moved to a different state to be closer to her family two months ago.
Personally I've given up
You have to believe in yourself more than ever!
bad decision
How long did you try for, how hard did you try, and what did you do to improve yourself? If your answers are less than 10 years, not very hard, and not much, you have no one to blame but yourself. Get back up and try again, for real this time.
Sad to see every new video is more newbie oriented than the previous one. Miss your hardcore calibre advanced game stuff, bro
He's got hundreds of detailed videos and courses already, more advanced than most dating coaches. I think it's fine he reaches out to help the noobs (of which there are probably 100x more quantity in the world), it's probably great for him business-wise
@@Paul-yk7ds I tremendously respect Todd, we all know how generous he is and how many fates he's made a ton better. If this is what's better for business, by all means Todd has all rights to never go beyond beginner target lay-up material and not be judged at all. Just having difficulty dealing with how much of a pity it is for his advanced homeboys like me to see him post vid after vid of the genre that is almost not PU anymore. I remember watching the same exact vids on these same themes like general nebulous dating advice 10 years ago by general charisma teaching guys that were even unaware of game.
Hope you"ll throw more jaw-dropping fire on us one day again, Todd. You're Top G.
Im single because i have a huge emotional neglect scar from my childhood ( abondonment wound), im terrified to death if i stand next to a hot girl, i feel like passing out when talking to them..... Shit is scary yall
I live in a small town and work in a mine with basically 100% men.
Surprised some variation of this didn’t make the cut
Todd is doing Charisma arts in 2024
I don't see interesting girls around. All of them are just empty. How to solve that?
Fill them.
@@Sybrakos1 No
Try teaching them things about interesting topics, especially philosophical ones. It can be attractive and puts you in a masculine frame. Unless their eyes glaze over.
@@Sybrakos1 lol
Not only am I single, I am involuntarily celibate. 🤫
Yep, me also 😕
You're not the only one. What matters is what have you done to improve yourself, make yourself more attractive, and become more confident and charismatic? If you haven't done much to achieve these, then you deserve to be involuntarily celibate. This is coming from a guy who's spent nearly a decade improving EVERYTHING I can, has successfully done so, yet still is involuntarily celibate.
Bars and clubs? .... I don't know about clubs, don't really go to them because I can't dance and I'm older now. But Bars and clubs might have been the place to meet people in the past but I don't think that is the case now. People don't seem open to meeting strangers anymore, they are closed off in their groups and are not interested in "outsiders" interrupting them. The other thing is, I'm not good looking and get zero interest from women so maybe my perception is also based on that. No, I'm not over weight, yes I do shower and brush my teeth etc before anyone goes on about it, hey just get in shape, keep your hygeine on point etc etc blah blah! 🤦
Looks matter and if you are not a good looking guy, may as well forget it.
Being introverted and depressed is drawing the short straw in life when it comes to dating
Bigtime. Add asperger's/ASD and avoidant personality. Deadly.
The introversion/extraversion dichotomy isn't binary. If you're truly depressed, try getting on SSRIs for a short period if you truly can't will yourself out of your predicament without them. Better to be on meds and thriving than a slouch who can't even find the energy to get out on the weekend. Jordan Peterson actually took SSRIs for years before he told anyone about them and he used them to get out of some dark periods of his life. No shame in it. all about perspective, Colin. Gotta change that shit up.
@@wearejungians I've been on a SSRI for the last 2 years. It does nothing.
@@colin6673 Isn't it crazy that you can take a drug called anti-depressant and still be depressed? Perhaps your issue isn't biological then. I've got no solution for you other than try other shit. It's about all we can do as men.
Nah, being short is the short straw
all year is cold here in south and middle argentina, i hate cold and i don't like to leave the house, just in summer i go out a little.
Todd and I are single 😂 fr tho bit selective but high standards for even women
The Unabomber Manifesto.
Hey Todd, you are looking better. Are you still doing BJJ?
I am single because of first reason i dont leave house
Shoutout to all the dudes who are locked up (and single). Listen to Todd when you get out 😂
Bro this sounds like a full time job 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
It's easy to get into a relationship, it's hard to get out of it. Women start getting possessive and expect me to not talk to other women in less than 2 weeks. 😂
I feel that lol. I guess we are the minority to have this experience of it
Looking for a woman is such a dark time in life .. In between loneliness periods is where life happens.. All puas are married have children etc
The feminist movement have killed the dating vibe. We started travel for dating lifestyle and its going aowsome at least for me. Its day an night different as far as dating. And we love it.
I can talk to beautiful women, but getting them attracted to me is nearly impossible.
Not single by choice but by approach anxiety 😂
Its the woman's job to look pretty... Its the man's job to make the move...
how to stay calm
One of my friends is actually pretty negative and boring but he get girls because he dares to ask.
Not to be negative; but women simply don't like me. I am decent looking, decent at conversation, 6ft tall, own a house, make decent income, get out and about. Online dating=nothing. In person= No interest.
the more I see these videos, the more I realize I have no hope. I am not shy, I do not lose myself, I just know people. Between 3-5 years kids go out, meet other kids, while still rely on parents for stability. That is why they random run back to the parents then go to the kids again without asking anything of the parents. Well I did not had that luxury, I was on my own all day outside, so in order for me to interact with the kids I had to read the parents. Some were wellcoming, some not, but the main aspect is the lesson about how make myself agreable was not in my curriculum. I can read people like they are books for kids, no challenge at all, but nobody given the choice, will no pick me. We are in a group and they want to see a movie, I am not in it. Sure people talk to me and joke with me, but It is out of necesity. They need my help and good will for work, so they are nice, but as I said, their simple minds don't fool me. Nobody will choose me to just socialize.
Its possible you are not socialized and weird people out. One major problem I have is eye contact, and it sounds to me based on your story, that has a high likelihood of being an issue for you. Eye contact is extremely important for social acceptance because it basically signals so much, interest, it signals anxiety, it can signal danger. It may not be an issue but it's worth strongly evaluating.
I have a girlfriend, but I still watch this cause you are a god
Bro said "physical malady" 😂😂😂😂
Totally read that comment as “physical m’lady” 🤣🤣🤣
I'm in a monogamous LTR, just wanted to watch the vid.
Very true
How many women are into mullets? Zero. 🌴
I worked with a guy that had a pretty big facial deformity. And he still got girls. Another friend of mine went bald at 18 and is short, ended up getting married to a pretty decent chick. It’s not about looks it’s about attitude. As guys we can bring more to the table than just looks and girls will value that.
This is not the norm, I'm in shape, I'm funny and confident, can have laugh with anyone, had women tell me how much they enjoy my company because I'm fun to be around.
Me: Well hey, let's go for a drink then, I'm free Wednesday or Friday. how about it?
Her: Oh, er, I think you're nice but I don't see you in that way, we can be friends though!
Or, the more direct women: I don't date ugly guys.
Sure, it's not about looks.
@@BobInnes Of course looks matter, but you've just accepted that rejection and internalized their opinions. If you tried with 100 girls, even if you had only a 5% chance, that's 5 girls that would be interested. Law of large numbers man.
My bullshit sense is tingling.
I’m actually not single, I have many girlfriends
any tips for muslim people? as you might know lots of restrictions!
First to comment, but i've got absolute not'n to say
Im single because I'm 5'5
The pickup community doesn't focus on how to get gfs😅
I don't see how dance classes are great to meet women.
Sure you dance with women but they dance with 100 men. There's no way to stand out and you only really have a few mins with each one
Why you gotta call me out like this 😂
I’m 35 and still haven’t lost my virginity because my mom didn’t raise a loser 😤
7th comment.
Most girls are not breaking into men's homes ....
Bro could you also make like 1 min or less quick video clips.. would be power...fulllll
Longer videos carry more depth. Unless you mean clipping long videos into shorts.
I have a few thoughts. The communication portion of this video is somewhat useful, considering it's basically just using psychology in order to manipulate a desired effect. It's pretty cut-and-dry and can be proven scientifically to work. However, the rest of the video is virtually useless to most men. Especially the first half, talking about meeting women and where to do it. I feel that you are either being purposefully dishonest or blissfully ignorant of the fact that at least 80% of the people watching your channel will not be able to properly utilize most of your advice. The reason being is because you have done absolutely nothing to address the primary thing that causes difficulty in the dating world for men. That being the current state of women. The insane feminism and entitlement that has taken hold of virtually all of Western Civilization. I know some mouth breather is going to accuse me of being a woman hater or some other arbitrary label used to dismiss dissension. Facts are on my side, statistics are on my side and a quick search on virtually any social media platform will show that I am 100% correct and this is an overarching problem that is being noticed. Even some of the mainstream media have run a few stories and articles here and there about men not dating and having issues . You know something is at least becoming topical when legacy Media actually takes the time to talk about it. So let's be frank, it has been essentially proven mathematically that around 80% of women in general are only chasing 5% to 10% of men collectively. This has been documented and proven by various studies and huge amounts of data mining from major dating sites. That's pretty easy to track considering everything that takes place on those dating sites is recorded and there's absolutely no privacy on the internet anymore. We can see which men women are swiping on. The results are unanimous across the board.
So I returned to my previous point, why are you not telling men the truth? Or is it a lie of omission? You cleverly leave out the fact that your advice only applies to men that are considered to be in the top 10%. The classic 666 man. You are one of these men, so of course you have success whenever you go out to test your theories or make a video. You essentially are cheating the system because you are the object of almost every single woman's desire exclusively. The rest of men do not have this advantage and at this point are essentially invisible. Men like myself who are of good intelligence but low physical attraction will never be considered by anyone unless we get extremely wealthy. In which case we are simply a walking ATM and nothing more. Not to mention the fact that nowadays it is actually risky for men to approach women. A man like myself has to make careful consideration whether the risk is even worth it. The fact that some women will not hesitate to make false allegations against somebody simply because they don't find them attractive. These days it is entirely reasonable to assume that you may be formally charged with some form of harassment simply for walking up to a woman that you find attractive and saying hello. You cover up these facts or just ignore them entirely and I find your videos to be extremely disingenuous and only partially useful. Basically I think you're just a grifter. You're no better than Alpha M. That moron had me fooled for a short time until I realized that he really didn't say much of value. If you really want to help men at least tell them the truth, if they're not in that top 10% they're most likely never going to get anything from women. So unless we can magically become extremely attractive and extremely rich, we are going to continue to do what we are doing now, fade into obscurity.
11:06 Damn, as good as any pep talk you will ever hear. 🫡
Todd is the only dating coach that is valid and has stood the test of time 🫡 thank you Todd, for everything