The Weird "Ancient Aliens" Game

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  • Опубліковано 2 жов 2024

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  • @chasingmemories1266
    @chasingmemories1266 6 місяців тому +3722

    "Will you submit to hypnotic regression to your past life in ancient Egypt? Yes/No" is without a doubt the wildest pop up window I've ever been or will be presented with. I really wanna know what happens if you click no

    • @brainwater
      @brainwater 6 місяців тому +211

      I must know what happens if you click "no"!

    • @StillCisTho42
      @StillCisTho42 6 місяців тому +227

      Can't believe Assasins creed copied this game 😢

    • @chriswest6988
      @chriswest6988 6 місяців тому +155

      I assume the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe.

    • @chasingmemories1266
      @chasingmemories1266 6 місяців тому +84

      @@chriswest6988 so what youre telling me is morpheus used to be a white dude with crazy hair? thats even wackier than aliens

    • @Meritania
      @Meritania 6 місяців тому

      @@chriswest6988The game turns into the Stanley Parable, got ya.

  • @morganmeow6150
    @morganmeow6150 6 місяців тому +2206

    "this is just slavery with extra steps" no, this is JUST slavery

    • @NQR-9000
      @NQR-9000 6 місяців тому +59

      Well, this is just slavery with extra steps FURTHER than detention and forced labour 😅

    • @Narangarath
      @Narangarath 6 місяців тому +30

      Mmm... While there likely was some... uhh... probing happening, I suspect it wasn't quite this central to the building of the pyramids. I could be wrong, though, it's not like I was regressed into an ancient Egyptian life of mine.

    • @LivvyBooks
      @LivvyBooks 6 місяців тому

      😮​@@NQR-9000

    • @oldworldpatriot8920
      @oldworldpatriot8920 6 місяців тому

      @@Narangarathbased on certain illustrations found on walls and tablets from the era,the ancient Egyptians WERE extremely into anal play.

    • @Joe90h
      @Joe90h 6 місяців тому

      There's also evidence to suggest the pyramids weren't built by slaves but by people who got paid a good wage, had decent housing, and were allowed days off.

  • @Idkpleasejustletmechangeit
    @Idkpleasejustletmechangeit 6 місяців тому +509

    The explanation for why humans value Gold: "ooh, shiny rock! Oh, it rare..."

    • @RonParker
      @RonParker 6 місяців тому +119

      Also, it's really easy to work and it doesn't tarnish like basically every other metal.

    • @generalcodsworth4417
      @generalcodsworth4417 6 місяців тому +98

      ​@@RonParkeryup. It's pretty, it stays pretty, it's rare so FOMO kicks in, and it can be made into lots of pretty shapes. There's no way we wouldn't end up loving gold

    • @saraschu2735
      @saraschu2735 6 місяців тому +56

      It's also easy to heat up and mold / melt into new shapes which makes it useful for artistic expression and displays of wealth!

    • @heavenly2k
      @heavenly2k 6 місяців тому +4

      Literally.

    • @layladavis02
      @layladavis02 6 місяців тому +36

      The show acting like the only logical way humans would want gold is because aliens is so funny. Definitely not because it doesn’t rust/tarnish and is extremely malleable and can be formed and used for electronics, tools, and even weapons. Of course jewelry just because pretty color that’s easy to shape into pretty shape (but also great for people with allergies like me) almost like it’s a very easy to use metal. But nooo aliens make us think rock is pretty

  • @Faction.Paradox
    @Faction.Paradox 6 місяців тому +937

    But how could the primitive peoples of 2024 ever create an Ancient Aliens game? Could the game have an otherworldly origin? Ancient Astronaut theorists say.... yes

  • @shiny_cheyenne
    @shiny_cheyenne 6 місяців тому +826

    Jarvis Johnson loved that Goooooold callout

    • @liamhello6278
      @liamhello6278 6 місяців тому +166

      Can't believe this is where I learned that he based that off something

    • @hotasice6475
      @hotasice6475 6 місяців тому +25

      ​@@liamhello6278lol same

    • @LeandroWalicek
      @LeandroWalicek 6 місяців тому +78

      The sheer epiphany I felt when I heard that soundbite

    • @drewgoin8849
      @drewgoin8849 6 місяців тому +41

      This comment is Premium

    • @justyourunaveragerandom2725
      @justyourunaveragerandom2725 6 місяців тому +59

      I heard the gold callout and had a physical reaction to it 😭 like "?!?! Jarvis?!!"

  • @Bargadiel
    @Bargadiel 6 місяців тому +1364

    If the aliens came to us because their planet is in crisis from a cataclysmic event, does that mean their own planet has aliens that cause THEIR events?

    • @anitaaranceta780
      @anitaaranceta780 6 місяців тому +68

      Now that's a real question

    • @southparkfirefly
      @southparkfirefly 6 місяців тому +81

      Of course. It's ALWAYS Aliens.

    • @NunoVippan
      @NunoVippan 6 місяців тому +33

      We can't know for sure, but what if it were true?
      I don't see any evidence disputing that claim, so that makes it fairly likely. We definitely have something that we can't exclude as a strong possibility 👌

    • @CineSoar
      @CineSoar 6 місяців тому +53

      That whole "Work for us, and we'll help you defend against a cataclysm on your planet" had a real "Nice place you got here... It would be a shame, if something happened to it." vibe.

    • @bruce-le-smith
      @bruce-le-smith 6 місяців тому

      duh

  • @Raphe9000
    @Raphe9000 6 місяців тому +855

    Why the hell would aliens come here for gold when there's literally an asteroid belt nearby full of it?

    • @dingostarr
      @dingostarr 6 місяців тому +157

      No harvest slaves on asteroids, duh!

    • @envis10n12
      @envis10n12 6 місяців тому +5

      That's the point lol

    • @jonathanschubert9052
      @jonathanschubert9052 6 місяців тому +18

      Watch the documentary Battlefield Earth.

    • @DrFranklynAnderson
      @DrFranklynAnderson 6 місяців тому

      Yup. A lot of ancient astronaut theory hinges on dated, now-disproved science. Like Sitchen’s theory that Earth was the best source for gold, or the original Chariot of the Gods’s speculation that Egypt’s mummification was preparing a person for scientific resurrection similar to cryogenic preservation. We now know any hope of bringing a person back like that would involve stopping the brain damage that happens within minutes of death-and literally the first step of Egyptian mummification was scrambling and removing the brain through the nose.

    • @brenton2561
      @brenton2561 6 місяців тому +33

      ​@@jonathanschubert9052 lol, documentary!

  • @DKF_oli
    @DKF_oli 6 місяців тому +261

    Plausible deniability as a currency is genius game writing lol

    • @Nodiee1
      @Nodiee1 6 місяців тому +38

      Legitimately actually a great idea for a mechanic that should be in a better game.

    • @Midala87
      @Midala87 6 місяців тому +4

      Now we need a sequel that ties into the Stargate universe.@@Nodiee1

    • @Tareltonlives
      @Tareltonlives 5 місяців тому +1

      I nearly fell out of my chair laughing at that

  • @owencarney7910
    @owencarney7910 6 місяців тому +867

    gabi in her melee phase was LOCKED IN

    • @KitOConnell
      @KitOConnell 6 місяців тому +40

      If I had seen her serious video game face at that age I'd have known I was doomed and given up immediately.

    • @Tophams_No.6
      @Tophams_No.6 6 місяців тому +7

      smol gabi

    • @MustertheBrohirrim
      @MustertheBrohirrim 6 місяців тому +1

      Main?

    • @ryanellis4818
      @ryanellis4818 6 місяців тому +7

      You know that was taken at some holiday party where all the kids hung in a room while the adults drank.

    • @TheReZisTLust
      @TheReZisTLust Місяць тому

      She mains Olimar in smash for a challenge I hear.

  • @anthonybello740
    @anthonybello740 6 місяців тому +312

    I remember playing this game on mobile. When the hair guy invited me to regression therapy to reveal a past life in which aliens manipulate humanity, I started to feel like Ancient Aliens is basically Scientology except without a good guy or a bad guy

    • @kiwi_arms
      @kiwi_arms 6 місяців тому

      fool that you are, the hair guy IS the good guy

    • @maikamikaela3144
      @maikamikaela3144 6 місяців тому

      Don't worry! If you dig deeper into alien conspiracies you'll discover that many of them do in fact believe that there are good guy aliens and bad guy aliens. The bad guy aliens tend to be the reptilians or the insectoids while the good guy aliens..... Well..... They're often referred to as "the tall whites" or sometimes even "the Scandinavians"........ Yeah, it's exactly as racist as it sounds lmao

    • @Mockthenerd
      @Mockthenerd 6 місяців тому +9

      I mean their creators are both writers who just made shit up.

    • @cargo_vroom9729
      @cargo_vroom9729 5 місяців тому +2

      You just blew my mind. It absolutely is.

    • @glarnboudin4462
      @glarnboudin4462 5 місяців тому

      It is. Both plagiarized from the same racist bullshit text, the same text the Nazis took from.
      It’s nothing but trying to gaslight people into submission; that we’re only of worth when we’re scrabbling at the feet of tyrants.

  • @weavery4292
    @weavery4292 6 місяців тому +155

    "Plausible Deniability" as a resource is pretty neat tbh.
    It reminds me of how in Cultist Simulator you have to find ways to avoid/get rid of Suspicion or you'll attract unwanted attention. It's a intriguing concept, & definitely not something I expected from this game.

  • @MrOtistetrax
    @MrOtistetrax 6 місяців тому +928

    I love that even in the game they get the difference between "tenets" and "tenants" wrong. WTF are the "basic tenants of construction"? Resident contractors that drink soy lattes?

    • @jupiter0jupiter
      @jupiter0jupiter 6 місяців тому +19

      😂 very good

    • @jmonkey440
      @jmonkey440 6 місяців тому +13

      I noticed that too. WTF? 🤣

    • @justme70122
      @justme70122 6 місяців тому +12

      Wait, wait, ... wait. There are actually *quality* comments on *UA-cam*? Why have I never seen one before?!

    • @foxbuns
      @foxbuns 6 місяців тому +7

      🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜

    • @jmonkey440
      @jmonkey440 6 місяців тому +1

      @@foxbuns I see what you did there.

  • @plateoshrimp9685
    @plateoshrimp9685 6 місяців тому +232

    I enjoy how Giorgio's hair length changes seem to work as a crazy level indicator.

  • @-piras
    @-piras 6 місяців тому +352

    Me finding out the gooooold audio isnt just something Jarvis did for his gold channel

    • @aquamarinevoice
      @aquamarinevoice 6 місяців тому +27

      SAME

    • @SyntheticsV2
      @SyntheticsV2 6 місяців тому +22

      Check out the Austin Powers movies. That line is from the third one; Goldmember

    • @manuelaguima
      @manuelaguima 6 місяців тому +8

      @@SyntheticsV2 featuring beyoncé and Britney spears 🥰🥰

    • @rhodrage
      @rhodrage 6 місяців тому +3

      Oh man, is this how old I am

    • @UnwrittenSpade
      @UnwrittenSpade 6 місяців тому +2

      Yeah it’s Austin powers

  • @dabatman5187
    @dabatman5187 6 місяців тому +336

    What would that game even be? “Click here to steal ancient artifacts.”

    • @papadivertida
      @papadivertida 6 місяців тому +20

      The entire Tomb Raider franchise

    • @SnoFitzroy
      @SnoFitzroy 6 місяців тому +28

      england simulator lmao

    • @marimecham
      @marimecham 6 місяців тому +21

      They'd have to rename it to the British Museum simulator

    • @raindeer9787
      @raindeer9787 6 місяців тому

      ​@@marimecham Dang, beat me to the joke lol

  • @GenderFluidDragonKing
    @GenderFluidDragonKing 6 місяців тому +224

    What I think is so funny about the plot of this game is that why wouldn't they just harvest materials from the asteroid belt

    • @averywhat
      @averywhat 6 місяців тому +40

      They can’t afford to since they don’t have probe-currency there

    • @GenderFluidDragonKing
      @GenderFluidDragonKing 6 місяців тому +2

      @@averywhat 😆

  • @NotClover
    @NotClover 6 місяців тому +82

    this video taught me where the "gooooooooooooooooooold!" soundbyte comes from in the intro to any jarvis johnson gold video. thank you gabi balls.

  • @ripleyandweeds1288
    @ripleyandweeds1288 6 місяців тому +225

    The fact this game came out two years ago and not in 2015 like I thought prior is throwing me for a loop.

    • @rawrdino7046
      @rawrdino7046 2 місяці тому

      I didnt know they still make physical pc games tf

  • @lpclassic60
    @lpclassic60 6 місяців тому +43

    “Aliens enslave humanity to mine our planet for gold” is literally the premise of Battlefield Earth, a novel written by L. Ron Hubbard, which is just so fitting for an Ancient Aliens game

    • @VFella
      @VFella 3 місяці тому +1

      Wait that the Scientology crew finds out and sues the hell out of them for plagiarism 🤣

    • @ExtremeMadnessX
      @ExtremeMadnessX 3 місяці тому

      Also, Cowboys vs. Aliens.

  • @TheGoIsWin21
    @TheGoIsWin21 6 місяців тому +41

    That "it's on sale now? What the FUCK" was so damned relatable.
    Why yes, I do have 800 games in my steam library, why do you ask?

  • @thebeesknies
    @thebeesknies 6 місяців тому +99

    0:14 damn she is DIALED IN. Not messing around 😂

  • @dragonflymoonraven
    @dragonflymoonraven 6 місяців тому +20

    "Will you submit to hypnotic regression to your past life in ancient Egypt? Yes/No"
    Alright. Move over, "Tap LB to throw the door at your enemies". Prostrate yourself, "Press F to pay respects".
    There's a new contender for funniest prompt in a videogame.

  • @WatashiMachineFullCycle
    @WatashiMachineFullCycle 6 місяців тому +52

    Sidenote, the way people see the goldfinger reference and immediately interpret it as a Jarvis reference instead is absolutely iconic. Legendary. Jarvis supremacy

    • @irighterotica
      @irighterotica 6 місяців тому

      I, too, thought this was pretty amusing.

    • @goldenfiberwheat238
      @goldenfiberwheat238 6 місяців тому +3

      Tf is jarvis

    • @FeiFongWang
      @FeiFongWang 5 місяців тому +3

      Isn't that Ironman's AI? Tf does that have to do with Austin Powers?

  • @justynababinska9534
    @justynababinska9534 6 місяців тому +28

    dude that picture of you playing games is so GOOD you DO look so serious

  • @KevinEleven213
    @KevinEleven213 6 місяців тому +99

    The Jarvis Johnson Gooooooold. Is amazing. Also isn’t there a crap tone of gold in asteroids and stuff? Why would aliens come to earth where it’s rarer?

    • @raeganj6744
      @raeganj6744 6 місяців тому +1

      If I remember the lore correctly, it’s that gold is even rarer on their planet

    • @crabinjustice
      @crabinjustice 6 місяців тому +15

      The Goooold thing is from Austin Powers: Goldmember.

    • @KevinEleven213
      @KevinEleven213 6 місяців тому

      @@crabinjustice Oh yeah. You right

    • @Subhumanslug
      @Subhumanslug 6 місяців тому

      If they're advances enough for faster than light travel, they have the technology to synthesize gold.

    • @FeiFongWang
      @FeiFongWang 5 місяців тому +1

      Who tf is Jarvis Johnson, it's from Austin Powers children

  • @jmonkey440
    @jmonkey440 6 місяців тому +51

    It's less about the journey itself, and more about the Plausible Deniability credits spent along the way.

  • @normalguyinthehouse
    @normalguyinthehouse 6 місяців тому +101

    Oh sure, when ancient aliens has you experience the past lives of your ancestors to be manipulated by aliens it's ridiculous, but when Ubisoft does it, its "Assassin's Creed" and "okay, I guess"

    • @ZeroSha420
      @ZeroSha420 6 місяців тому +11

      This is the hottest take from this video lmao

    • @Hisnitch
      @Hisnitch 6 місяців тому +11

      Being "that guy", but to be fair, in AC, the Isa and the "Gods" might have influenced events, but most of the time Humans or Isa are still very much the ones changing history with their own hands. In fact, canonically, the digital gods get very annoyed everytime either the very human factions of Assassins or the Templars go off the reservation and do whatever the hell they want.
      Most of the "ancient aliens", on the other hand, explicitly outright states that Aliens are responsible for most of the greatest feats in the Africas... because being "that guy", most ancient alien conspiracies are just diet racism because people in Africa definitely absolutely couldn't make the pyramids at all or other large structures.

    • @Gloomdrake
      @Gloomdrake 5 місяців тому +2

      To be far, Assassin’s Creed has a whole machine to justify that, while this is just hypnosis

    • @ZeroSha420
      @ZeroSha420 5 місяців тому

      @@Gloomdrake Abstergo says it reconstructs stuff from DNA, but who knows? It could very well be a big hypnosis machine! It's all coming together now.... :D

    • @zombyninja2576
      @zombyninja2576 3 місяці тому +1

      Yeah but assassin's creed never claimed to be a documentary haha

  • @MadGodLA
    @MadGodLA 6 місяців тому +39

    OMG we had the same tiny baby gamer Y2K butterfly dress!! I had the pink and also the blue dress. I remember them being vaguely itchy because of that weird transparent fabric layer and they also restricted any movements you’d make but overall they were a vibe

  • @rodvx2
    @rodvx2 6 місяців тому +16

    buying shovelware at full price not even one week before the steam event sale starts has happened to all of us, don't sweat it

  • @Minty1337
    @Minty1337 6 місяців тому +31

    11:40 "who am i"... *continues mindless clicking*
    ah yes, modern gaming

    • @bruce-le-smith
      @bruce-le-smith 6 місяців тому +2

      it was a good moment, very zoolander

  • @TheLegPumpkin
    @TheLegPumpkin 6 місяців тому +22

    Gabi has the "unhinged obsession" look. About the eyes from childhood video games all the way to trying to 100 percent Gordon Ramsay games now.

  • @MerSeaLess
    @MerSeaLess 6 місяців тому +31

    I'm currently in development for a PC game that kinda goes around similar ideas. The "Gods" of ancient civilizations are all actually aliens that are using humans. You start in the future and then time travel all the way back to Sumeria. You meet Gaia who is basically mother Earth and she creates all of these monsters like the hydra, kraken, werewolves, etc. It's a similar combat style to games like Diablo but also has RTS elements for building up cities. We actually emailed Giorgio to see if he would do some voice acting for us but he never got back to me lmaooo.

    • @heavenly2k
      @heavenly2k 6 місяців тому +10

      Sounds dope af. How can I stay in the loop?

    • @kuroneko334
      @kuroneko334 6 місяців тому +3

      Did you use his voice over email?

    • @MerSeaLess
      @MerSeaLess 6 місяців тому +1

      @@kuroneko334 did i do what ? lmao I don't understand the question.

    • @officialtigerfish7633
      @officialtigerfish7633 5 місяців тому +2

      Yeah, how do we stay in the loop?

    • @brenthuntoon5521
      @brenthuntoon5521 5 місяців тому +2

      Wow that's sounds sick! I wish I could play it ;)

  • @Sugar735
    @Sugar735 6 місяців тому +48

    My husband and i were OBSESSED when this game came out. The only thing that sucks was it just....stops. The end. Otherwise its such a bizarre and wild ride 10/10 would absolutely recommend

  • @KrazyKaiser
    @KrazyKaiser 6 місяців тому +23

    My favorite fun fact about ancient aliens is that the narrator (not the host) voices a character in China, IL who is an ancient aliens believer trying to teach it at college and it's basically taking the piss so hard it's amazing that he's participating in it.

  • @ll7868
    @ll7868 6 місяців тому +20

    Aliens wouldn't come to Earth to mine gold, it's one of the easiest elements to find in the universe, an average sun like ours has 2.5 trillion tons of liquid gold in a layer beneath it's surface, the Oort Cloud has even more than that in the ice & rocks of it's billions of asteroids. Coming to Earth to mine gold would be like a child going out of their way to pick up a dirty sucker covered in dirt and cat hair off the ground while they're in Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory.

    • @layladavis02
      @layladavis02 6 місяців тому

      Yeah yeah but how many suns have free slaves on it 🤨 exactlyyyy

  • @adriangonzalez3600
    @adriangonzalez3600 6 місяців тому +10

    When you realize you've watched 200 gabi belle videos and weren't even subscribed the whole time, thank you gabi's mom

  • @TheSpiderInUrWalls
    @TheSpiderInUrWalls 6 місяців тому +19

    Many humans like gold because it’s shiny and pretty? Idk seems pretty valid, humans are weird and like things that don’t actually serve us a practical purpose for no particular reason

    • @Raphe9000
      @Raphe9000 6 місяців тому +8

      Ya, and its perceived value wasn't even universal. Many Native American tribes didn't value gold nearly as much, with its only real use being that it doesn't corrode and therefore can make good jewelry.

    • @Viteaification
      @Viteaification 6 місяців тому +3

      its actually is practical as it never tarnishes like other metals do.

    • @helo9316
      @helo9316 6 місяців тому

      That in itself isn't very practical tho, i mean yeah it doesn't tarnish but then again how many times is gold actually used for making some practical tool? It's used to make jewellery which themselves serve no practical purpose other than fashion and decorative purposes​@@Viteaification

    • @brenton2561
      @brenton2561 6 місяців тому +1

      And it can be hammered into shapes without heat

    • @ExtremeMadnessX
      @ExtremeMadnessX 3 місяці тому +1

      ​@@helo9316It's also used in electronics.

  • @JonWintersGold
    @JonWintersGold 6 місяців тому +10

    This is one of those games that will cause you to lose IQ points for every second you play.

  • @strawberrywheels
    @strawberrywheels 6 місяців тому +18

    i cant get over the fact that they made a game with cheaper mechanics than those games that are sometimes on the lil screens on airplanes

  • @LauraLily
    @LauraLily 6 місяців тому +20

    This is literally just the game "Pharaoh" but with aliens added 😭😭 wtf

  • @peterp2626
    @peterp2626 6 місяців тому +5

    Half The Comments Here: I think we call all agree that our day is better when this person uploads a new video to this website/platform. Please make more content for us humans. I am definitely a real person and not a bot.

  • @Heropsychodream
    @Heropsychodream 6 місяців тому +9

    My jaw dropped when you read the description that they had to dig through the game files just to see the end. 10/10 sleuthing, fantastic work!

  • @MidAF444
    @MidAF444 6 місяців тому +13

    no way I just found out where Jarvis' intro to the GOLD channel come from 😭

  • @brainydiode
    @brainydiode Місяць тому +1

    I was at a tabletop gaming convention a couple months ago and one of the games I wanted to try but never got the chance to was a 4X game called Anunnaki: Dawn of the Gods. The premise was that each player played as a different faction of aliens visiting Earth in early history, being worshiped as gods by the natives, and trying to conquer Atlantis. I thought the premise sounded delightfully goofy but it also looked like it took itself pretty seriously as a 4X game, so I hope I get the chance to play it someday.

  • @lúki-ang
    @lúki-ang 6 місяців тому +11

    I love knowing I am not the only one to have found a physical copy of Ancient Aliens: the Game at Walmart

  • @Rocketboy1313
    @Rocketboy1313 6 місяців тому +11

    I feel that a Chariots of the Gods strategy game would be neat. And yeah, the Plausible Deniability is an excellent idea for a mechanic, it could be a resource in so many urban fantasy settings.

  • @MattnessLP
    @MattnessLP 6 місяців тому +1

    Even before you mentioned Age of Mythology, I of course noticed the first note of the theme when you put the pyramid on screen.
    What an iconic game though, I still keep coming back to it (love the Norse faction!)

  • @HeisenbergFam
    @HeisenbergFam 6 місяців тому +16

    Gabi is the only person who goes from talking about Tiktokification of emo music to alien game

  • @parkesd1211
    @parkesd1211 5 місяців тому +1

    The goldmember clip had me howling. Also the audacity of not finding out what happens if you click no after the hypnosis 😂

  • @hackshackers3513
    @hackshackers3513 6 місяців тому +4

    now i finally know where the "GOOOOOLD" on jarvis johnson gold comes from
    i mean at least partially

  • @anxofernandez3344
    @anxofernandez3344 3 місяці тому

    I absolutely love this series about the "Ancient Aliens". It's easy to poke fun at them because they're so ridiculous, but your mockery is done in a more elegant way

  • @TheIsoMetricSounds
    @TheIsoMetricSounds 6 місяців тому +20

    When do we get the hot chip video

  • @gabrielesh7916
    @gabrielesh7916 6 місяців тому +8

    I once came up with this whole ass theory where our ancient ancestors were the meteor that destroyed the dinosaurs. But there was a problem with the cryogenic pods we were in, so we didn't know who we were, where we were, or what this crazy thing we were in was. Eventually, they got out of the ship and were brutalized by apes creating homeosapiens. That's why we can't find the "missing link".
    I wish I could shill and get my own History Channel show... lol

  • @boredsherbet
    @boredsherbet 6 місяців тому +10

    damn. congrats to gabi, i didn't even notice the sub count going up... i remember when it was 20K, 1M is actually in sight-- holy crap. thanks for the great videos-- you're prolly one of my favorite commentary channels (it's between you and jarvis)

    • @bruce-le-smith
      @bruce-le-smith 6 місяців тому +1

      it's all thanks to gabi's mom reminding people to subscribe

  • @melithegamer
    @melithegamer 6 місяців тому +1

    "how could people possibly make all this" they wonder. and then it's literally just people being enslaved for their entire lives becoming extremely skilled in their craft out of being forced to

  • @byemgrace
    @byemgrace 6 місяців тому +3

    Only five minutes in but...travel back to your past life in order to obtain answers from an ancient race in order to save the world from a upcoming world-ending event? Isn't that just the plot of the first few Assassin Creed games?

  • @watamatafoyu
    @watamatafoyu 4 місяці тому

    Ancient man: "Gold looks like sunlight captured in the ground."
    Modern man: "We love gold because aliens."

  • @sproutycat
    @sproutycat 6 місяців тому +7

    excited for that hot chip video, i love consuming misinformation

  • @LordBigSlime
    @LordBigSlime 6 місяців тому +1

    5:00 I'm probably reading too much into it and giving the game more credit than it deserves, but this is actually super cool if done on purpose. The way the hands are position makes it look like, from our point of view, our hands are the same as the alien's hands. I just think that's neat.

  • @jimc.goodfellas
    @jimc.goodfellas 6 місяців тому +8

    Just when you thought Ancient Aliens couldn't get any more ridiculous....

  • @Joe90h
    @Joe90h 6 місяців тому +1

    Because of ad placement, I just had the Ancient alien spiel at 6:47 interrupted like so: "Did ancient aliens really help to shape our history? **Here's how much wet cat food I was buying...**"

  • @nicholasvardakis9119
    @nicholasvardakis9119 6 місяців тому +2

    This brings me back to when it came out. Thats sound of collecting dna is burned in and plays during my sleep paralysis

  • @xkumanekox
    @xkumanekox 6 місяців тому +6

    Glad to see Gabi is still on that Ancient Aliens grind. Also, since we're on the discussion about the History Channel, I really hope Gabi would also cover Storage Wars after this. That show is lowkey pretty unhinged at times.

  • @cuconfidentialheadquarters8510
    @cuconfidentialheadquarters8510 5 місяців тому

    I wondered what this was. Seems like every Walmart in my area has at least one copy of AATG on good old-fashioned DVD-R in their game aisle. It feels like something that escaped the floor in 2004 and beamed into ... THE FUTURE.

  • @joshuapalmer8760
    @joshuapalmer8760 6 місяців тому +3

    I have a theory that the ancient alians crew are just the stargate-sg1 flavour of the harry potter millenials

  • @AlanW
    @AlanW 6 місяців тому

    Aliens: Nice plant you have there, would be a shame if something were to happen to it because you wouldn't help us.

  • @katharineeavan9705
    @katharineeavan9705 6 місяців тому +4

    I started to recognise pieces of this game as you went through and am now convinced I've played a little of it, but I have absolutely no recognition or memory of the introduction. It's so weird. Guess the aliens really did wipe my memory

  • @AWholeBeew
    @AWholeBeew 4 місяці тому +1

    So, we're supposed to believe that the reason we love gold is because the aliens taught us to value it and not because it's easily shaped, has an unusually pretty color and is really, really shiny? Right...

  • @Malthael2797
    @Malthael2797 6 місяців тому +12

    The whole "you have to click to continue the text after the voice line is over" thing is basically how all Visual Novels work if you've heard of those kinda games

  • @AlineInGreen
    @AlineInGreen 6 місяців тому +4

    You come off a very genuine person!
    Keep up the good work! 💕

  • @TheQueenOfSheba
    @TheQueenOfSheba 6 місяців тому +1

    This feels like a game you get on a compact disk for your computer from 1999…

  • @juanjuri6127
    @juanjuri6127 6 місяців тому +3

    it's kinda funny to me that it takes your alien-boosted slave minotaurs longer to build a pyramid than it does in Pharaoh, an older, much more complex game where you must employ arcane alien technology such as "make sure worker houses have a well nearby" and "try to make it so laborers get to see a funny guy do a little jig on their daily commute to work"
    maybe aliens just sucked at management sims? is that why we are like this?

    • @robertgaudet7407
      @robertgaudet7407 6 місяців тому

      They also had you make each colossal brick individually in pharaoh and then drag them into place in order one by one.

    • @aaronbarndollar
      @aaronbarndollar 6 місяців тому +1

      Some of these graphics are lifted directly from Pharaoh. I recognized the house models instantly. I always knew those attacking Nubians were after my iridium!

  • @allinson42069
    @allinson42069 6 місяців тому +1

    For the past 5 days, I've had Gabi's 3 Ancient Aliens videos playing on repeat while I work on software!
    Now, a fourth for my playlist! Coincidence? Aliens?

  • @Jackie_XIII
    @Jackie_XIII 6 місяців тому +4

    I agree with your opening for everything except for one point. 45 minutes have passed? Absolutely not I start playing at 6:00 in the afternoon and next thing you know I hear birds chirping in the morning.
    But hey, you can't blame me. Baldur's Gate 3 and Dragons Dogma 2 are just too fucking good.

  • @TojiFushigoroWasTaken
    @TojiFushigoroWasTaken 6 місяців тому

    Some people think building pyramids by ancient humans are borderline impossible, when 2 year old kids figure out making triangular piles of sand will make it stand on its own

  • @arcarchivist2638
    @arcarchivist2638 6 місяців тому +3

    0/10: no Canadian Laser Bears, no meteor chickens, no Fork Boy, no Bella, no hippos that WUV WOO.
    (and thank you for reminding to play the new AoM)

  • @soap6939
    @soap6939 6 місяців тому

    Man stumbling on this channel during one of the lowest times of my life was pure luck. Gordon Ramsay, ancient aliens, cringe vids, games, even throwing in a guitar once in awhile, just hitting like everything I love. Even shocked me she reacted to that old Mario Bros movie, as ridiculous as it was, I loved it as a kid. Feels like this channel was made for me and it's pretty rad.

  • @liselottehildegarde5367
    @liselottehildegarde5367 6 місяців тому +5

    😱 So, Ancient Humans learned to do SLAVERY from Aliens?!!
    😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @garyburginjr1366
    @garyburginjr1366 6 місяців тому +1

    As soon as it said to "manipulate the natives" I did the Rock eyebrow raise and noped right out of the game hahahaha

  • @theonly_august
    @theonly_august 6 місяців тому +15

    I have no clue how I got here 4 seconds after its premiere, but I think it's a sign

    • @jchamp00
      @jchamp00 6 місяців тому +1

      The aliens did it

  • @Mr_.G
    @Mr_.G 5 місяців тому

    I remember when this game first surfaced. It was introduced as a Facebook game (FREE), then it went to mobile (FREE), then it disappeared for a while and showed up again later as a paid only PC port. No changes were ever made to it between platform releases. So basically it's the same old crappy game as when it was first featured on Facebook (donkeys years ago).

  • @ross1781
    @ross1781 6 місяців тому +3

    "these are not real chapters lmao gotchuuuu" 💀💀

  • @MustangAlex69
    @MustangAlex69 6 місяців тому +1

    Giorgio makes a cameo in the TV show resident alien and when I saw him it made my whole ass day.

  • @FijianSouljah1312
    @FijianSouljah1312 6 місяців тому +10

    Gabo do the thug shake

  • @ndnerd1781
    @ndnerd1781 6 місяців тому

    Using the AoM soundtrack for your videos is such a big-brain move, much respect

  • @NekoNebula1313
    @NekoNebula1313 6 місяців тому +3

    The picture of her as lil kid too cute 🥰

  • @ARCHiVEDx7
    @ARCHiVEDx7 6 місяців тому +2

    gabi PLEASE PLEASE PLEASSEEEE tell me where the sweater is from i can’t stop thinking about it i saw this video 10 hours ago and it still haunts me

  • @aven7580
    @aven7580 6 місяців тому +3

    Jarvis Johnson 7:14

  • @i.serve.c_nt
    @i.serve.c_nt 6 місяців тому

    17:01 that sound effect scared me so bad i STILL looked at my door AFTER I KNEW IT WAS FAKE😓

  • @iforgotmyname5610
    @iforgotmyname5610 6 місяців тому +4

    Balls

  • @sadhydra
    @sadhydra 13 днів тому

    I do think Age Of Mythology with a sci-fi twist does honestly sound like an awesome game. If it were more tastefully done than this of course.

  • @wikitan
    @wikitan 6 місяців тому +4

    3:18 why is this the way i find the origin to jarvis’ gold channel’s intro

    • @Hemostat
      @Hemostat 6 місяців тому +2

      Man how old is everyone in these comments? Nobody ever watched Austin powers?

    • @thatweirdanimalcrossingchick
      @thatweirdanimalcrossingchick 6 місяців тому

      ​​@@HemostatSAME! I have been going through SO many comments just feeling old af wondering how no one has seen that movie lol. I kept thinking I'd see someone like me but nope just another Jarvis comment 😂

  • @TnT_F0X
    @TnT_F0X 3 місяці тому +2

    Imagine if this is how we tested Science.
    You're a grad student in the audience, some Meme points at you and BAM you're the first time traveler in human history.

  • @kinhahazevedoh
    @kinhahazevedoh 6 місяців тому +3

    ... native tribes in Brazil couldn't care less about gold. It's literally documented how colonizers thought they were dumb for exchanging it for objects such as mirrors. Gold digging was one of the first and major activities from colonized brazil.
    SO WERE BRAZILIAN NATIVES NOT IN CONTACT WITH ALIENS???
    HOW ABOUT PERU? INDIANA JONES CLEARY TELLS US ABOUT THEIR CONTACTS

    • @saraschu2735
      @saraschu2735 6 місяців тому

      Salt is way more widely valued across most cultures because it provides some nutritional value, keep food preserved, and attract animals like deer. There's lots of other uses too. Way better than gold

    • @layladavis02
      @layladavis02 6 місяців тому +1

      @@saraschu2735I mean gold is a useful metal. It doesn’t rust and it’s easy to mold. So things like electronics and medical tools (well any tools) it’s just a very easy to mold metal that doesn’t tarnish. I mean yeah for a tribe of course they don’t care about that as much as salt but it’s so funny how they just assume we think it’s pretty 😂 whole reason diamonds are popular for wedding rings isn’t because it’s the prettiest stone. It’s because it’s the hardest stone and can “last a lifetime”

    • @saraschu2735
      @saraschu2735 6 місяців тому

      @layladavis02 I wouldn't go that far as to say tribes in North and South America don't care about gold. Most groups preferred copper over gold, although I don't know as much about copper as I do salt. However salt is also highly valued in places that value gold, for example certain civilizations in Africa. Mansa Musa was famous for his gold but he also controlled lots of salt which helped secure his seat of power even after crashing the gold market when he gave too much away. Humans like gold because it's shiny and useful for sure but I think lots of folks may not know how many groups really value salt and still do. There's a reason it's on tables at restaurants and stuff. I just think salt is more interesting but I'm also an archaeologist / historian in North America where gold was and still is less of a priority for many cultures.

  • @old_pegs
    @old_pegs 6 місяців тому

    Trying to think of an animal-headed guy for a game about ancient Egypt and coming up with a minotaur is wild.

  • @rkahaog2
    @rkahaog2 5 місяців тому

    There's only so much history that the history Channel can make shows about before they start making fanfic shows

  • @nateburket4344
    @nateburket4344 6 місяців тому

    her saying "WHO AM I?" and then the pause and then the clicking sound effects

  • @hellomynameisrodney
    @hellomynameisrodney 6 місяців тому +2

    we were destined to love gold, because we're aliens ...but why did the aliens who sent us to love gold also love gold? did they get modified by other aliens? is this a "Turtles all the way down" infinite regression thing?

  • @alexhajnal107
    @alexhajnal107 6 місяців тому +2

    06:00 _"taught ... the basic tenants of construction"_ *tenets* not tenants. Even the "right" word is a poor choice though.

  • @cynblack
    @cynblack 6 місяців тому

    YOUR COMPUTER BACKROUND IS ON POINT!! IT MOVES AND IS PIXELLLL!!