Why Childhood Trauma Blocks Connection (4-Video Compilation)
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- Опубліковано 6 жов 2024
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More people than ever are isolated and lonely People who have lived through trauma, especially in childhood, may have suffered neurological changes that make connecting even harder. And once you are in a relationship, it can cause you to fall into trauma-driven patterns that ruin closeness. In this 4-video compilation, I share some of my most popular videos about loneliness-- what causes it, how to heal it, and how healthy solitude can be part of your healing.
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Solitude is fine for some reasons but not having anyone to share life experiences with is truly isolating & feeds depression exponentially
This is me. I don’t like crowds, get claustrophobic if I’m around too many people, but have a deep longing for physical contact and affection. (I’m 54, and have never had a girlfriend. My adversity to how uncomfortable physical contact makes me feel is so depressing sometimes.)
@@JohnM...it’s never too late ❤❤❤John 🎉
I agree….just someone to have dinner with once a week….hang out, enjoy the beauty of life
I think if I were lonely, I would join a gym and get a personal trainer or become part of a club or volunteer. Giving makes you feel so good, and it takes the focus off of yourself. I also like to go on a walk, rain or shine. When someone even smiles and just says hi. It makes me feel better. Or even goimg through a drivethrew for coffee. It somehow makes me feel important.
Another huge thing that makes me feel better is getting a pedicure. Usually, the person is so friendly and talks a lot and makes me feel special.
Great ideas. ❤
I feel like ALL of the above! Anna is such a wise person.
Bless you for your honesty
I totally know what you mean when you said you felt "rusty." I feel the same.❤
Glad you’re here now! -Frida@TeamFairy
I love spending time on my own from staying at home or travel. I get overwhelmed sometimes when I am surrounded by people. I may be in a room full of people and yet, I feel lonelily. But I rare feel that way when I am on my own world
So, so much information in a short period of time. I get overloaded in what you are presenting. I need less to be able to really grasp what you are saying, process it and come out better for listening. I think I need to listen yo less than 1/4 of the video at a time. All be back!
I have learned not to be so triggered and I’m noticing my attachment style is turning from anxious to secure attachment in our marriage sooo good. But in social situations I’m still triggers and working on that and leaning into prayer 🙏🏻 daily ❤
I went no contact with my whole family and move out. In this city I started to set boundaries with people but it's hard to know people when you are a woman over 60. Most people about my age who approaches me are dirty old men (at least two asked me to get closer to their faces because they couldn't see my face...yuk) and women in my neighborhood with a taste for gossiping. I adopted a dog to find out she had ADHD due to being traumatized and my anxiety was sky rocketing. I was able to find help and it's know in Iceland with a young couple doing around 10 kms a day, something it was impossible for me to do but I was accused of killing her. I had to show videos of her running with other dogs while she was waiting for adoption. She came out better than I but I'm suffering of isolation not only because I feel safer by my own but because I'm being ostracized.
So sorry that happened to you. People can be so judgmental and it's about them not you. I hope you can find some like minds. I go to a depression support group and have met wonderful people there.
Being ostracized only based on rumors from other people is something that I have personal experience with. I remember my mum getting the same treatment as Anna Runkle and it wasn't fun because I lost dear childhood friends over it. Then being evicted over and over by a meddling grandmother who hated me and her daughter for being a single parent household. It was a chronic mess of a childhood. I spent years in therapy and when my life was stable, the same meddling grandmother pulled the same stunt on my last house. Got evicted again and she is viewed as the innocent one by her support team. I'll be glad when she is deceased. Of course, she has other people willing to do these little crappy things for the grandmother's friendship and or memory in exchange for part of the inheritance. I need friends and companionship, not rumor and speculation by nosy people.
Thank you for sharing ❤🎉
Thank you for your videos 😮
For the longest time, I had a broken GREEN flag detector. I was so used to being defensive that it was hard for me to believe anyone had good intentions. I also felt so bad about myself that I thought if people ever got close and saw the “real” me, they would be repulsed. I instead either kept them preemptively at arm’s length or was so superficially interactive they never tried to go beneath the surface. What a lonely existence. And you’re right about isolation and getting rusty. You can only rebreathe your own air for so long before it becomes toxic. A healthy life needs ventilation.
I too have been co-dependant my whole life. I participated in a lot of 12 step stuff as a teen and a young adult, but also tried a lot of other stuff. I have a lot of tools, and still I wasn't able to make much real progress until I began doing the daily practice. I have a lot of the books, and have trouble reading them nowadays due to my shortened attention span! 😅
We can only change ourselves.
My teacher your video is so helpful
I loved the lockdown finally an excuse to just stay in my house and watch UA-cam no social pressure to be around people or keep appointments no reason to wear anything other than pj,s I actually miss it😢Anna why did you find it hard and others too 😮
Yep I choose people who treat me badly..which is why I isolate myself
Instead of using dating apps and relying on chance meetings, I would think that pursuing interests and passions would be a more fruitful way of meeting like-minded friends and potential mates! If we have a definite spiritual view, go to a church that supports what we believe, same with political leanings, a love for dogs, a passion to help the needy! Instead of constantly looking at ourselves, it can be freeing to look at a greater cause, and then....look to the left or the right as you're immersed in a project, and (Whoa!) " There's someone who is really into the same thing I am! We should hang out!!".
Men also watch u🎉
Invest in schools I'd think. School is golden time.
❤❤❤❤❤
Could someone summarize for me ??? I don't have an hour to watch.
I apologize for disagreeing with your statement that parents, if alive, are not able to change. Basically, your statement if taken as true is somewhat demoralizing and empty of faith that parents are stuck in their flaws, unable to awaken and improve from their genetic or environmental imprints. That is hopeless talk!! I have been proactive in self-help studies, therapies, spiritual and Christian counseling with great improvements (their statements not mine). There are many parents today who are aware and proactive not to pass on their traumas to their children, or work with them to develop healthy relationships. So, making a generalized statements that parents are doomed to remain in their patterns does not help build healthy understanding and healthy parent-child relationships. Many of my early childhood dysfunctions have been talked out and worked out through prayers, breathwork, and counseling, and being in my 70's I helped my family see and overcome the fears of the 2020 craziness and beyond.
you're very fortunate
@ceciliao3158
Having watched almost all of Anna’s many videos, my understanding of her word ”can’t” in this context has more to do with a lack of awareness or willingness to change, rather than an outright incapacity to change. In fact, the overriding, and encouraging message of Crappy Childhood Fairy is that no one, despite even horrific trauma, has to remain stuck in destructive patterns. There is always help. There is always hope and there is always the possibility of healing. Whether or not someone chooses to do the work is entirely up to them. 💗
Why didn’t you say this stuff 2 years ago? The pandemic wasn’t just in 2020. It dragged on and it would’ve been nice if somebody would’ve come on and told the truth about isolation and bullying, media doom etc. I feel like the tides have turned and everybody is suddenly speaking out but where was everybody in the middle of it when people were really going through it? If you were afraid of having your channel blocked or censorship that’s one thing. There’s just this timing now where all of a sudden everyone is being more public. What is that about?
All your gurus were going through the same trauma during that time. Have some empathy. They are humans who need time to process their experiences, same as you. Why weren't YOU speaking out about it two years ago?
@@jumbolumps666 I did stand up at risk to my job. I’m just wondering why people aren’t afraid anymore to speak out? If people are saying things now they were thinking it before. Our rights were trampled and everyone’s trying to act like it didn’t happen. Except now people are coming out online and saying some things about it. I’m just wondering why now? You’re saying because it took time to process? The things we went through cause PTSD. there are some people online who did speak out the whole time. Many of them were highly censored. I can understand if that was the reason. I’m just wondering if anybody knows why now why is it OK now?