How Narcissists Are Derailed By Black and White Thinking

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  • Опубліковано 15 жов 2021
  • Because each person has a unique back story, healthy relationships require the willingness to learn each other's many subtle needs and traits. In other words, empathy is a most necessary ingredient. But Dr. Les Carter describes how narcissists can be so stuck in black and white thinking that they are prone to apply a "one size fits all" mindset as differences arise. The results are predictably disruptive.
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КОМЕНТАРІ • 371

  • @ilgenis
    @ilgenis 2 роки тому +28

    It's either you're against me or for me.

  • @shipratrika2586
    @shipratrika2586 2 роки тому +46

    Actually narcs like to keep you in grey areas, never a clear answer, no clarity, confusion and chaos.

  • @mariaawake4502
    @mariaawake4502 2 роки тому +159

    Yes, you are the enemy to the narcissist, as soon as you present the slightest critic or difference in opinion.

  • @Robidu1973
    @Robidu1973 2 роки тому +14

    The narcissist's line of thinking: "There are two ways of doing anything: The

  • @reneegentry4391
    @reneegentry4391 2 роки тому +9

    Laughter passes them off and they hush up!

  • @realhealing7802
    @realhealing7802 2 роки тому +62

    Yes! A relationship with a narcissist is very superficial. It's based on their needs and your willingness to give them what they want. I finally went no contact with my entire narcissistic family. These relationship will break you down mentally. Save your self! You deserve real healthy relationships.

  • @margueritehernandez9014
    @margueritehernandez9014 2 роки тому +24

    To me, the most difficult part of my life with a narcissistic partner has been learning to understand and accept that there will never, ever, be real closeness or intimacy. I find closeness and intimacy in relationship very fulfilling - it feels to me like the stuff of life, and the most beautiful part of human existence. It's been so hard for me to understand that some people, narcissists in particular, aren't interested in closeness! Once I came to understand that, (with the help of Dr. Carter), everything became more simple and clear to me. No way do I want to spend a significant portion of my life with someone with whom there is no chance of a close relationship. Why would I bother?

  • @mikediamond353
    @mikediamond353 2 роки тому +20

    Memorize these pointers, and disconnect your heart from them. You're on team healthy now, you get to move toward the light instead of swirling around in their whirlpool of darkness.

  • @annking8633
    @annking8633 2 роки тому +31

    I don't feel lonely anymore. Love being on Team Healthy. Best thing that has ever happened to me.

  • @michelepascoe6068
    @michelepascoe6068 2 роки тому +34

    Diplomacy and the humble knowledge that one could be mistaken, and a love of learning from others, is incomprehensible to the narcissist.

  • @gabbymontoya2085
    @gabbymontoya2085 2 роки тому +12

    Always neglected issues or ran to someone else acted like a victim.. could never resolve anything. I just want to meet someone without psychological problems and simple reciprocal courtesy

  • @aliceroberts1980
    @aliceroberts1980 2 роки тому +25

    They don’t care their relationship and emotionally Lazy. Their not your friend

  • @randomweirdo25
    @randomweirdo25 2 роки тому +41

    I have said this plenty of times about Narcissists. They can not think outside of right or wrong, yes or no.

  • @chelleb3055
    @chelleb3055 2 роки тому +192

    I always felt as though I was just a bit player in the narc's screenplay that he wrote, directed and starred in so when I found this comment somewhere else on the web it really hit home. Sorry it's a bit long but it's worth the read. ❤

  • @camarosunrise5128
    @camarosunrise5128 2 роки тому +13

    A narc must learn to "get over their self" and join the real world. I'm a recovering narc myself. Thank you for all your healing insight , Doc.

  • @dawgmaw
    @dawgmaw 2 роки тому +10

    I was isolated with a narcissist mother and I was trained in black and white thinking. The gray area makes me anxious. I’m working with my therapist to consider nuances. I’m so quick to judge that I’ve lost many relationships. I’m always trying to get back to black and white. It’s where I feel secure-where the only security I’ve ever known, my mother, resides.

  • @sonya3711
    @sonya3711 2 роки тому +5

    One of my narcissistic husband’s best mate (flying monkey) died from an accidental death from alcohol and prescription drug mix. He just said “well, she wouldn’t listen to me!” Then his narcissistic sister chimed in: “oh she should’ve been more careful“. What the…..???

  • @snowbear1877
    @snowbear1877 2 роки тому +3

    My sister is narcissistic and has bullied me all my life, for the past 50 years with the help of her husband.

  • @krisztina442
    @krisztina442 2 роки тому +8

    They probably get derailed because there's always something that doesn't fit into that mindset; a colourful something...

  • @joannajohnson696
    @joannajohnson696 2 роки тому +14

    I was talking to my husband yesterday & he made the cutting comment, "I have never been married to a beautiful woman." I thought, " I definitely married the wrong man if he hates all women!" I can see that when I live with the narcissist, it's the daily insults, those constant defiling comments that he make hundreds of times a day that slowly chisel away at my self esteem & confidence. Results in settling because they make us feel like we don't deserve being treated like a human being.