We would love to get to this place. Our host has been the primary fronter for many years and is often exhausted by it. It's only been a few years that she's known about us (very late dx) and because she's so used to being front she is fearful of letting others of us do this. Most of the time the best we manage is cofronting. We mostly get along well, but our host is terrified to not be in complete control of the body. Thank you for discussing this. 💜
Our long time host had the same problem, involuntarily being frontstuck bc of fear of losing control. We're working through those insecurities and it helps
Wow. Just mind blown. It's like I wrote your comment speaking about our host. 😮 We thank you for speaking about your experience/s. You all got this! We believe! 💚
My daughter is often asking her system whether someone can help her, as she gets so overwhelmed with daily living (due to constant triggers and flashbacks). She's diagnosed with DID, and her therapist was surprised that she didn't 'naturally' switch when things were too stressful or intolerable, and wondered whether it was because of her autism, which she is also diagnosed with - as though there's a conflict between two strategies. Would love a video on how autism affects DID and functioning as a multiple. I know you've done some pioneering videos talking about autism and dissociation. To have something more in-depth about possible dynamics, gifts and challenges of having both conditions and how they can affect one another - and techniques or strategies to help deal with that - would be incredibly helpful. Thanks 🙏 and keep up the good work! 🙂
This is a year ago, but I need a video on this too!!!! I am also autistic and my system and I can’t seem to switch. I never leave front. It’s so exhausting!! And I have to deal with all the triggers and pain.
I love underdog stories. To see a formerly distressed, chaotic and nearly disabled system learn to work together so that they're not only coping but excelling in their chosen arena, is very inspiring to me. We get to take a tragedy and turn it into a triumph. Who wouldn't want to do that? 👏 This video really puts on display your expertise in this area, and I felt it was very compassionate, too. There were a lot of things on your list of points I hadn't considered. Maybe it didn't even occur to us that alters could say 'no' when asked to help because we just assumed it was their responsibility to step up and 'aid the team.' Hmm.
Yeah, true, sometimes they do say NO, and they do NOT like to work with Angry person. So we need to have a place inside where Angry person can rest, not be triggered. Hmmm. That would be a good move, we think. Aren't we creative people? Don't We Endure? Don't we shine when we're polished by sorrow and fear? IT's so good to find community, where we can see that we are not alone, (HaHa, have we ever been?). Truly accepted. Thank you, everyone. Thank you. I have found that gratitude is they key. Nam Myoho Renge Kyo.
@@thectadclinic . Please could you give me the best email address to use to get hold of you . I would urgently like to make contact, but am not clear what would be the best route. Thanks so much, N
I never thought about doing this consciously, other than recently I was able to call on an adult part/other adult to cope with a triggered teenager part, a new skill I am developing. It is an interesting idea.
talking about increasing communication in my system in therapy sessions actually helped me practise this better! in the past if i was ever physically exhausted or burnt out i would kind of zone out and before i knew it my work would be done/id be home again and it was very helpful. but, it was confusing because it left me feeling dizzy, out of it and with a gap in my memory. communication really is key. we're not perfect at it now, but we're a lot better at voluntary switching and knowing whos out which is so much better!
HOw lovely to find someone to acknowledge our existence, isn't it?! The best is to BE needed. That is the best. We like to find where we can shine, and we try to ev/ry day; and when we rhyme, to hold the line, we know we're sharing time. And everything's okay. 🎼🎵🎶🎵🎶
Hello, Dr. Lloyd. First, thank you for the work you do and for this wonderful channel. It's great to see a medical professional who doesn't write off the existence of DID and OSDD, and doesn't invalidate those who experience these disorders. That being said, it would be great if you might be able to create a video about how people with such disorders can go about talking to therapists,, psychiatrists, and other professionals who either flat out deny DID exists, or are highly sceptical and on the fence. A short time ago, I had a session with one of my psychiatrists, as I have DP/DR, among other things, and without me even mentioning DID, she brought it up and started ranting about the TikTok community, and how she believes she's only ever seen one true case of DID. Again, I did not mention DID nor OSDD to her at all prior, as it is so heavily stigmatized in the psychiatric community. Of course, I left the session having some pretty mixed emotions and unhappy, because her bias was further proof to me to just keep my mouth shut. I also see a therapist, who specializes in trauma, but when I've tried to speak about my headmates, as I prefer to call them, her first reaction was to say I was making up people in my head to deal with a recent traumatic situation, even though she has never asked a single question about what I endured in my childhood. So, she was quite dismissive of my situation in general, without me mentioning DID or OSDD at all, again because of stigma in general and because I see a running theme in the area I live. So, I have remained vague with my team, thus far, but I would genuinely like it if you would discuss, in a video, about how I and people like me could talk about these things with other professionals. I'm sure I'm not the only one going through this and it's invalidating and hurtful, makes me angry, and makes me, and others, I'm sure, wary of disclosing how we are truly feeling and thinking to the very people who should be trying to help the most. Thank you for you time, and again for all the work you do at your clinic and in the community. It's nice to see some very educational material coming from a true professional.
My system has a worker. And its very work , at the work place, work oriented. It seems to know all things work related and is able to get a lot done, even problem solve, and brain storm. But can't seem to do so outside the office. There are times worker skills could be so helpful outside the office. The only drawback would be worker is okay with superficial person contact, but no attachments. Worker has no human attachment values. Workers mind set is just the facts. This part amazes me and. Frustrates me. Mental imagery of this part, is like a little clock figurine that pops out at a certain hour, and pops back at another. Yet, this pary has kept me/ us gainfully employed.
I have two alters whose job it is to work our job. At the moment we are unable to work, and it is difficult for these parts. But slowly they begin to find tasks where they can be functional outside of the work setting. This benefits us as a whole. I hope this will be happening for you also!!
Sometimes we switch because a part wants to front, i mean enjoying it, because it his or her kind of situation. None of my parts like situations they can't handle. Sometimes a part is called to takeover. When we ask for help, we trust parts a lot more then people. So we rather turn to our parts if we need someone. We grew into this, without much therapy, though it took years. We don't trust therapists much, though i admit you seem really nice. But i hate medicine, i find emdr too upsetting, therapy often too hasty, etc. I'd rather have alters help me out, they mean well and they're i also. Its nice to watch them take control.
🐉 Two of our friends have been aware and diagnosed for decades, they have reached the point of being able to do some voluntary stuff like you describe in this video. They have however not been able to describe how they were able to get to that point of being able to do whatever they do to have access to be able to functionally do it. Thank you for this video, hopefully we can share it with a therapist some day and it will help us grow.
Anecdotal and personal evidence: medical cannabis, used in a controlled way under supervision, seems to unlock the ability in some to witness dissociation and changes in thought as they happen. This needs to be studied by doctors specializing in dissociation.
This is such a great and refreshing take from a professional, compared to what we are used to. We have grown a lot, mostly on our own, with regards to communication and being able to have certain parts do certain things, when they are more able to. We have several disabilities, and even though we'd never wish DID on anyone, it does give us the ability to pull from the reserves or specific strengths of certain parts to do whatever is needed in that moment. In a clinical environment however, in our experience, that is often perceived as something pathological. They'll say it is "troubling" and that they want the "real us" to be able to do that thing. Often capped off by a "I hope you'll be whole again some day!" It always felt so contradictory that something that we worked so hard towards was perceived as something sick. So thank you for this. It means more to us than I could possibly put into UA-cam comment words
@ boneitch . Brilliantly stated - and very important to point out... to give due acknowledgement regarding the truly astonishing differential between Dr. Lloyd's methodology / approach and the 'pathologically' brutalizing and insensitive approach of the majority of professionals.
Thank you Dr Lloyd for the content. Your videos are very helpful. It's my first time to manage a DID client after many years of practice. It is rare in our setting to have DID. Thank you for your channel. It's providing me a framework to help a client with this condition 🙂
I struggle with #4 because my parts bring in a lot of trauma, emotions, and memory and would make the situation worse. My headspace feels like a whirlwind. I struggle the most at work with ANP who is focused primarily on work and my other parts that are having trauma, emotions, and memories triggered by my coworkers and boss. I hope to one day learn more knowledge, communication, have the willingness to collaborate, achieve stabilization, and be able to accept that it may not work.
we have this same issue even with our ability to cooperate being a little more advanced than yours sounds. triggers can be hard to manage, but i hope you can overcome it!
My therapist keeps suggesting that I "ask inside" for help when I am struggling and I have begun to test that out but got frustrated when no switching happened and I felt even more alone. The advice you gave about practicing when it is not needed is really helpful for me, along with the idea of laying out some negociation.... I will do something for you if you will help me.... Thank you Dr Mike :-)
Already knew the answer to the question from the title. We used to be able to do this before our more recent trauma and it worked pretty well, even specifically with energy levels and alertness. Being able to work as a team is exactly what we want, and we want to get back to the control and communication we used to have before the more recent trauma. 1. Knowledge of the system - pretty solid at least for those of us discovered and identified so far (we know there's lots more) 2. Communication - was great for 2 months between syscovery and trauma, been abysmal for the last 3 years since then but maybe slightly improved in the last few months 3. Collaboration - depends on who it is, some traumatised alters don't want to be in the front but others are keen to have front time 4. Stabilisation - pretty good, the instability mostly comes from dormant alters hitting front with passive influence of things like BPD splitting or panic attacks, still needs a bit of work 5. Acceptance - yep, but it's very frustrating. Even with a therapist we can't switch in front of people or on camera I'm definitely going to share this video with our support team so they can help us practice. Our therapist didn't want to help us practice bc she thought it could be dangerous or harmful or be detrimental to therapy, but Jamie and Maven and I know it's so important for us [Kaylee]
Switching in this way is super helpful. The only thing that I would add is that it's really important to teach the various system members tools to help regulate their emotions or the body's emotions, once you're able to. Coming into the body after someone is in distress is rough as hell and it's easy to get flooded with all of that. But if the member coming in is *prepared* for the intense emotional load coming, then they have a much better chance of working through the body load from the trigger and getting the body back to a neutral or a good place even. Thanks for the video. :) your content really does help and it helps explain a lot of things that my loved ones have had to figure out on our own.
This sounds like a superpower, if you can manage it 😊 Diagnosed pretty recently so It’s REALLY hard to get to the next day, hour, moment at times. Thanks for the hopeful information!
i've gotten to know my system for less than a year but their drive to 'function' externally is so mutual, they've put in absolute months of work to train this skill. they didn't even get help (but i don't recommend that because along the way, there was a lot of trouble. we have certain 'crewmates' who are built specifically for tasks that make them a little hard to get along with as personalities, so there was an incident when this all started where we asked our host to cooperate with us and she just went dormant. any time she'd peek out of that place, she'd belittle our progress and assume that she had lost her mind entirely, so externally our friends were observing us swinging from 'we're a system' to 'i've lost my mind' and back. she struggled with that but we finally got her full cooperation - and doing so helped resolve her own identity-related anxiety. but again... that took a while without some kind of guidance.)
We have a pretty nice grasp of 2 and 3 and an unfortunately fantastic grasp on 5, but 4 gives us trouble and 1 could use some work. There's always something new to learn and it's easy for us to get cocky- we share a mind, so OF COURSE we know each other, right? Not so. One communication tool I've been practicing lately, that I would recommend up and down, is writing letters to other alters. Reading journal entries that others left is one thing, but addressing them or being addressed in a letter feels very different. It opens up an intimate line of emotion, questioning, and sharing between two of us, and that has brought us a lot more communication. Between four of us, there is a decent enough grasp on these 5 things that we can semi-reliably switch between each other as needed. Practicing that has brought us understanding of number 5, because it depends on whether the other alter is even "close by" or can even on factors from the day- too much coffee? Try again later. It also does not work if the alter trying to switch out was triggered out, and that's number 4 rearing it's head. I really love your content and I really enjoyed this video. It touches on functional multiplicity, too! Are there any other tricks for communication you have used to help systems know their system? Thank you!
Same for us, writing letters to specific alters is very helpful in our system! In addition to that, for some alters it works well (better) to record voice messages for other parts. Either because they are not writers themselves or because the addressed part is not really a reader. Hand written messsages and voice messages can also help convince an alter that the other alters are real, that they are really there. It is more personal and more convincing than typed digital text.
I've been able to do this, I've got a specific alter that seems to be highly intelligent and I've been able to consciously switch into him to achieve things, this video has confirmed for me that I'm not as nuts as I feel haha.
Thank you for another very down to earth and helpful video. It provides hope and perspective, which is much needed at times and also much appreciated. I (we) have found that techniques like this are very very helpful, once there is enough trust and once we have practiced the switching on purpose between specific parts. Not only is it very helpful for me (or my therapist) to be able to call a well functioning practical part to come and walk home after an intense therapy session for example. But it also really helps a young and scared part to be able to call me to come whenever she feels overwhelmed or wants out of a situation. She doesn't know me (yet) but with our therapist as a go between, we now have a deal that I will make sure that she never has to be in some specific situation. She can call me and I will make sure I deal with it. I find that making these changes and collaborations take a lot of time and effort, but it is so worth it for the stability and peace of mind it brings. It gives us more control, where dissociation is basically usually about losing control.
How we started with calling alters outside was we started using a pendulum and a pendulum board with the alphabet so that the alter could then use gentle subconscious hand movements to explain what their needs were and the spinning of the pendulum acts as a good way to help the switch of the alter who actively wants to front. We started to do this with situations that were fun like a hobby that the alter liked or hanging out with their best friend for example. This builds trust and gives them a positive association with coming outside when asked. Keep in mind if you let your alters have fun and nice things they will most likely be willing to help you when you are tired or struggling or even want to help you because they will see you as a friend etc.
That sounds interesting but I can not picture what u mean and how to use or get one. I will research but if u have anything you care to explain in more detail I would be grateful.
Oh, this video is wonderful, thank you! We've been doing this for a while now, but we often feel guilty that we're able to do this due to online scorn at the idea of 'switching on purpose' being 'impossible' and such. So this is really reassuring to know we're potentially in the right direction for functional multiplicity. Unfortunately we lack a proper DID therapist, but we had personally noticed earlier on that alters- our host in particular- were becoming exhausted from fronting too long; yet the ones that hadn't fronted for a while were coming out refreshed. Having already set up inner-world procedures for easier switching a long time before, we began to keep an eye on how long particular clusters/groups had been near front, and after a week or so we would make sure to switch to a different cluster of alters and sort of... cycle everyone out. Of course there are issues: sometimes clusters end up fronting sooner due to triggers, purposes, etc, one or two alters like to front far more than is good for them, not every alter is on-board with the idea, and we do sometimes push ourselves past the exhaustion point. But ultimately, our mental health has improved fantastically since it was put in place. We stopped getting overwhelmed so quickly, we had less meltdowns, we learnt more about alters we didn't usually have communication with, etc. But I digress- really, thank you for this video. It's not a topic we've really heard talked about, and it's really wonderful for the internet to have access to this sort of information from a professional source (both systems and singlets alike). So thank you again!
Ah we have a version of this for us that we didnt know was a dissociateive thing when we were little and only recently realised: we can swap "thought trains" when we are lying down/going to sleep by sinply rollling over! Now we know its essentially summoning an alter forward, but we used to very easily be able to 'stop' thoughts that felt like they were going to lead to either nightmares or trauma memories by just swapping the side we were laying on, very handy for interrupting the start of a bad thought spiral or nightmare before we were going to bed, but the weird thing about it was that we could just as easily pick up the original thought train if we just rolled over again. As if it were on pause by swapping sides, these days i think this is because an alter recognises a Bad Thought is going to happen and proactively moves the body to a way they can connect with it better to help us, even without the fronter having to ask for it. For the person that asked the question i would say, as dr mike said, that communication is super important for this kind of thing: you need to know what types of jobs/activities certain alters are capable of handling so you can ask the right person to take over within the agreed limits and with minimal disruption to the system. Good video dr, thankyou! A good reminder that things always tend to work out better when you communicate and work with your system instead of just expecting them to do things for you 'because it helps'!
thank you kindly for this video mike, this was really helpful for us and honestly it's just validating to hear a clinician trust that systems can choose what they want for their future and encouraging that level of healing for functional multiplicity we are a highly fragmented system with quite severe dissociation (polyfragmentation, in other words) and we wondered if you would ever hopefully speak on polyfragmentation/complex DID? it feels like there just isn't much (or at least as much as we'd like) information on this experience we have, especially from a clinical standpoint thank you for your content, it's just so healing and helpful for us all the time, you're doing such a great thing
Can you make a video on polyfragmented DID? Like symptoms and specific things that are specific to polyfragmented systems? It is really hard to find good info on them. We are recently diagnosed and possibly polyfragmented and have been struggling to find much info on polyfragmentation.
I’ve been doing that recently and it’s made things easier , like dealing with health professionals. Especially asking for non combative parts not to come through
We're getting so close to this, we still have some blips but its got so much better (your channel has been a huge help along with several others while we waited for therapy).
We were diagnosed with DID a few months ago. When our system is calm and business as usual, we can usually induce a healthy switch, by either focusing on a certain alter enough causing them to front, or by asking our gatekeeper if she is available if she can help us switch. But when we are distressed and in panic mode we loose all control over switches and our ability to communicate with each other is weakened. Often times this brings an EP to front, which, depending on the alter, can be a good thing in the case of our protector fronting (unless it was one of her trauma triggers then she freaks out) or can be a bad thing like bringing a persecutor or a little to the fromt
This is a great video. I'm able to do this but it has indeed taken A LOT of practice over the course of years. My youngest part sometimes shows up when I'm at work and she gets very squirmy and tired and wants to go home. I gently tell her to go somewhere else and come back when I'm finished. It didn't use to work but it usually does now. It helps to remind her before starting work that she can stay away for the time being so she doesn't get overwhelmed or anxious. Good luck to those of you out there who are learning how to do this. Practice helps a lot, just like Dr. Lloyd said. He gets it.
As I, ANP has been extremely good at adapting to our surroundings as a way of being invisible and safe. We feel the need of changing our outer way of living. To find forms that where we can contribute as a whole. In a safe way. Talking with vulnerable people as a peer-worker is one way and we are being very calm and able to calm others. As one of us has the role of calming ourselves. Thank you for your videos.
Oh, we so often want to be able to do this. We have been so overwhelmed and constantly exhausted since our system started to crack. It is so so hard feeling either stuck and overwhelmed or when switching does happen its often abrupt and leaves us feeling excluded from our own life with almost no idea why. We have just started trying to establish the habit of at least having whoever ends up driving the bus leaving some sort of message but only a few are actually on board so far.
We have had some success with "positive triggers" with music or activities someone in the system likes to pull them forward... it's been useful at times... but we've never managed (to THIS point) to manage the dissociation/switching like this. It would be AMAZING for us to get to that point. And sometimes trying to do this or super stressful times causes us to switch a lot and feel unstable and it really leaves us physically and even more mentally exhausted.
Thank you for this video; to find a possible way of learning how to be in control of living with dissociation and so manage life as it comes . This video was helpful!
We are sometimes able to do this. We have a few parts that are there to take over when the rest of the system can’t cope. Ultimately though, to answer the original question, if our actual body is physically exhausted there is nothing that can be done except rest. As we are autistic too this does complicate things. We have a video on our channel discussing it a bit, as you say it helps to practise when calm and in a therapy session. We are lucky enough to have access to therapy but the communication between alters happens more (for us) outside of therapy.
I can relate to this a lot, also being autistic. We also have parts whose function it is to cope/function/take over when we are overwhelmed and then act normally and as if nothing is wrong (to them, actually nothing is wrong, they don't see and experience some of out problems and challenges). But a lot of times they use energy that we actually don't have to spare, so we have to rest afterwards to pay off this debt (with interest added to it).
This has to be a common thing for autistic systems. The whole construct of “masking” combined with how autistic people (diagnosed or not) are pushed to their absolute limits in the name of “discipline” means it is nearly inevitable we would have to learn to do this quite early, perhaps without being aware of it. We are always cofronting, so we can maintain working memory across alters to seamlessly blend together on a surface level. Host serves as a sort of “bridge” to us: the common denominator across all of our switches, the part that convinces everyone we are still the same person… Unfortunately, we are still prone to massive burnout from this, and host tends to feel all of its effects the most…
Yes, I’ve learned to let another alter drive depending on the need of our host ❤. Our system is now co-conscious. There is still lots of switching and lots of dissociation, but we can all record the memory of our actions now whereas at first, we couldn’t - we had amnesia, misplaced memories and lapses, But I was under the guidance of a therapist ❤. Not sure we will ever integrate, but we all decided to base our decisions on what’s best for our Host (Sam) so that we can all thrive 💜💜💜.
It turns out my system had been doing this for years leading up to my “breakdown” when I suddenly became fully aware of their existence. It’s how we manage getting various tasks done in our day to day life to this day. I will call for someone who can handle making dinner for example. There times however that I ask for someone to handle something and get told to do it myself 😅. Other parts are starting to learn newer tasks so that there are more that can do certain jobs. I assumed all systems worked like this until my therapist said it wasn’t something she had seen a lot of before me .
I believe I have CPTSD and I have 10/10 adverse childhood events. Now at age 50, I rarely dissociate and am usually confident capable happy and authentic. Grief during Covid reopened my losses, and my inner child self rushed into the grief space within me, and she howled loud and long. Now she feels like a cried out kid and is sitting in my heart, calling me to care for her. So to do that, I have to be an adult and take care of real problems in my life, medical and financial.
This video is really good., thank you so much for covering this topic :-) This subject is not touched on in many other videos on UA-cam. Thank you so much again for this.
we can switch like this to an extent, but really only with two of us, we have a small system of 5 (that we know about 😅) and i (host) can switch with our protector “on the fly” but it’s not always available. we’re co-con most of the time which helps communication. the other 3 have requirements before they front so they don’t front very often without triggers.
Thank you so much for this video. Your timing is perfect as this has been on our minds a lot. We used to do this often, especially when something important was happening and we needed help. Sadly with the way events happened over the last few years when therapy was not very consistent we have lost a lot of co-consciousness, this has meant it is harder to ask our system for help. This gives me a sense of hope, that has been missing.
In our system we are not quite as conscious about choosing a part to go out. It used to be our very strong ANP going out. But we try to let a less controlling and more adult part take over. But when are we not dissociating? One answer is when we are writing or painting and being alone in a safe spot. The sign that we are not dissociating is a strong feeling of being whole and alive. It feels like we are always in a dissociative state if only one of our system is out. I hope this makes sense.
It is interesting that you said to do this in a safe environment first. not when you actually need to do it. When we had tried this for the first time. it was just so i could play video games, it was very low stakes .. it did not matter that much. we were at home with not a lot going on. Actually, we have had a harder time doing this when it is something we need to do. oh also! some of us have identified triggers that are not really anything bad or traumatic. we can do them sometimes.
Brilliant Dr. Mike! You hit this one out of the park! I'd been asking some of the others about their likes/dislikes, skills, etc. but this kind of collaboration hadn't occurred to us yet. How are the ducks?
Only been able to do this once but it was more on accident. Something to work towards one day. Would love to know more about inner worlds and what function they play for interactions between host/parts.
I feel like afterwe really accepted our(suspected) osdd and really started talking to eachother that we have started doing this especially for 2 alters have thier own "job" that everyone agrees on that no matter who is fronting if that thing happens one of the 2 alters takes over
Therapists online: Here's how to utilize a dissociation disorder for your benefit. Also here's an explanation on what dissociative experiences you're experiencing Therapists in person: CBT/DBT isn't helping because you're just being resistant. Dissociative disorders don't exist. You must be lying about your symptoms and previous testing. I wish I could have found someone like you
Thanks for another video. Wish I was at this phase. God willing will get there. Think I’ve tried to do it in spite of good organization inside. Long Covid May be doing some damage to my brain too. TMI. Thanks again 👍🏻
We‘ve done that quite a few times on purpose. At the moment it‘s like that but against MY will: one alter is exhausted and has also lost her hope which made her to disappear and me to front that I truly don‘t enjoy.
May I ask you kindly to make a video about age sliding alters, please? I am one and I don‘t understand it how it is possible. I am always very anxious to communicate this topic to therapists because I think they will think that I make it up. Thank you.
i have some really good compassion and cooperation in my system. I would like if we could do this when it's needed when stressed or triggered ---but we really are not there yet. in daily things doing stuff like banking, then maybe going out cycling , or cooking . I figured out this could be done when i painted one year like i never had in my life - and don't know where or who rather did that level of skill. Another clue is going into the kitchen and realizing 'what's that' when looking at the microwave - oops . Taking time when doing things really helps. I find if i'm exhausted when i am out i can get help to get home.
I wonder if this can happen involuntarily. Years ago, I was driving home from some friends, being very exhausted. I can't remember around 10 minutes of that drive, I just know something happend on a highway and I "woke up" later on another highway, driving perfectly in line and keeping distance. Now, with the knowledge about possible existing parts, I wonder if one of them took over to get me some minutes of rest.
I just left a polite, intelligent, well informed comment which I thought would be very helpful to others and it was deleted? People always show you who they are, how sad as I was really excited to find this channel.
@@thectadclinic Sorry, I can’t repost as I didn’t write the comment, which happens all too often. Maybe like children should not have access to the car keys LOL Maybe she/he will come across this. Namaste 💜🙏💜
This was something that happens mainly at work when I’m exhausted and our prosecutor fronts for us. Last year one of our partners saw how tired I was and I didn’t know how I was going to drive home but she said Archie can do it. And after that we’ve been practicing fronting from time to time but it seems they get tried easily sometimes and I feel maybe it’s because they are only used to fronting when I’m feeling at the end of my rope
My therapist has been using this more in session. Times when feeling triggered and mute, he mentions another part (who is more stable and carries empathy for the others) and often I'll feel a shift into feeling more grounded and be able to talk easily again. However, the ability to explain or express the previous affect may be lost. In what instances is promoting switching in therapy beneficial vs stalling progress/processing? What is the best way to process traumatic affect when trauma holding parts go mute?
Dr. Lloyd, can a therapist who is just a EMDR specialist who works with trauma help me with DID? She found DID in me and we have been working on me and my parts. I am not super familiar with my parts but key parts of me take over throughout the day. I might have maybe 30 to 40 parts. I have been seeing my therapist for a bit over a year. My dissociation has been lessening. I have been becoming co-conscious with some of my parts. My amnesia has been lessening. So the overall question is, can someone who doesn't specialize in DID or dissociation help someone with DID? THanks, Joe
We feel sad for so many people who don’t have access to therapy. On almost all videos you talk about the importance of therapy and we agree but i think the vast majority haven’t got access to a therapist
Janina Fisher's book "healing The Fragmented Selves of Trauma Survivors" goes into how to do this in daily life rather clearly in chapter 8. I like her use of clinical vignettes that paint a picture of how you would actually do this. If you don't have good internal communication, adequate stabilization skills you can use, or you have parts that act to harm when they are out, you may not be ready for this. You have other skills to learn to put in your toolbox first. Living with dissociation is a chronic disorder you have to manage with effective tools, not drugs or support groups.
The video clearly states what is needed to be 'ready for this', thank you for repeating it here in the comments. However, support groups can be tremendously helpful for people to connect with others in similar situations. Also, many people manage effectively using medication, it is dangerous to suggest they should not be used.
@@thectadclinic You misunderstood my comment on meds and support; medications do not manage system issues. Support groups don't either. Drugs don't do anything for dissociation symptoms. No trauma therapist thinks that. They treat depression, anxiety, and other symptoms that are co-morbid with trauma. Support groups are not treatment, and the people in them often support the ideas that trauma therapy is useless unless the therapist has DID, or that this is not a treatable disorder but a lifestyle "choice". Both of these can send vulnerable clients right into the hospital.
Thank you for this Cathy I had forgotten about this book and it is very helpful that you have reminded me, I am so grateful. I was lucky enough to have a Psychiatrist who knew that drugs would not help me although I had already discovered that. I am well supported with homoeopathy and EFT. I found group therapy to be a very disquieting experience, to say the least, not for me! Namaste 💜🙏💜
Tbh I immediately felt badly about taking medication. It was a really hard step to allow myself some help I’m still quite ashamed to not be strong enough. How about we say every person in every way is unique and medication can be a useful tool?
What's the magic spell when you can start making this happen?! 😄😉 Thanks for another useful and supportive video. I hope we can reach somewhere near this in the future.
All of our parts are young and even tho’ they have some skills and energy I soooooo need, it’s the external environment that doesn’t lend itself to being accepting of our teens/tweens
I was diagnosed with OSDD about a month ago, and I’m still having trouble grasping the “parts” part of the disorder. Can you have OSDD without having alters??
I think this is sound advice in principle, but I disagree on the the necessity of practising switching/swaping only in safe situations and therapy. Beside not everyone having access to therapy, there are also people/alters who don't want to front in therapy. We have some protection-oriented people/alter, who will bring us safely out of a stressful situation and enable us to look after triggerd littles meanwhile, who we had to ask to front and help in quite unsafe enviroments, because else a little would have been triggered to front, which would be much worse. And they tend to distrust and dislike therapeutic settings out of very understandable reasons btw.
Tnanks for your thoughts on this. The video is more aimed at people who want to be able to control the nature of dissociation, it absolutely doesn't take away from the situations when it is needed, and happens on its own!
I think you might have misunderstood me. I'm talking about situations, where, when dissociation would have happened on it's own, someone would front, who couldn't handle the situation in a healthy way like a little/child-alter or someone with a very strong fight- or flawn-response. To prevent this e.g. a host-alter would ask a protector-alter to front to deal with the situation, that is overwhelming for the host.
My system just created me (in april) to know nothing about anything. Brand new. It was very easy at the start. I just existed. But as I start to hear others it gets much more complicated. Bit what you describe is certainly a goal..
Yes. SOmetimes spontaneously. Before I knew our system, one time I was about to be accosted by a trucdriver when we were somehow hitchhiking from one place to another on the American Continent, during 1968-1970, not sure why, or who (of us) was there. But we do know that David come up, bold, made a bawdy comment about having the clap, !come on now!, and the truckdriver reached over us, opened the door, and kicked us out. Bump bump roll, that's all I remember, that moment, that vignette. Nothing before or after. Dont know when or where or who. Huh! Now, after I have spent 52 years chanting Nam Myoho Renge Kyo (sgi.org) and discovery perhaps with a foundation of communication because everyone has experienced that bodily vibration (KYO). Now David Bigg is known, does help quite a bit, has a strong bACK for work need to be done (Our body is 75 years old). We are in therapy, and will refer our therapist to you. Thank you for being here and reaching out to us. Acknowledge. Also others do like to help. We do plan and ask others to please come help, like cleaning the house, a sometimes dreaded chore, and we have a girl BFF who really likes to make things shine. Still working on all of this! :( ;{. :). ;-). Nam Myoho Renge Kyo.
So nice to hear about functional multiplicity!! This is how we function in daily life in our system, and it works wonderfully for us ☺️💚
We would love to get to this place. Our host has been the primary fronter for many years and is often exhausted by it. It's only been a few years that she's known about us (very late dx) and because she's so used to being front she is fearful of letting others of us do this. Most of the time the best we manage is cofronting. We mostly get along well, but our host is terrified to not be in complete control of the body.
Thank you for discussing this. 💜
You are most welcome!
ThankQ for this, it helps me understand one of my challenges and gives me some hope, always a good thing. Namaste 💜🙏💜
Our long time host had the same problem, involuntarily being frontstuck bc of fear of losing control. We're working through those insecurities and it helps
Wow. Just mind blown. It's like I wrote your comment speaking about our host. 😮 We thank you for speaking about your experience/s. You all got this! We believe! 💚
My daughter is often asking her system whether someone can help her, as she gets so overwhelmed with daily living (due to constant triggers and flashbacks). She's diagnosed with DID, and her therapist was surprised that she didn't 'naturally' switch when things were too stressful or intolerable, and wondered whether it was because of her autism, which she is also diagnosed with - as though there's a conflict between two strategies. Would love a video on how autism affects DID and functioning as a multiple. I know you've done some pioneering videos talking about autism and dissociation. To have something more in-depth about possible dynamics, gifts and challenges of having both conditions and how they can affect one another - and techniques or strategies to help deal with that - would be incredibly helpful.
Thanks 🙏 and keep up the good work! 🙂
This is a year ago, but I need a video on this too!!!! I am also autistic and my system and I can’t seem to switch. I never leave front. It’s so exhausting!! And I have to deal with all the triggers and pain.
I love underdog stories. To see a formerly distressed, chaotic and nearly disabled system learn to work together so that they're not only coping but excelling in their chosen arena, is very inspiring to me. We get to take a tragedy and turn it into a triumph. Who wouldn't want to do that?
👏 This video really puts on display your expertise in this area, and I felt it was very compassionate, too. There were a lot of things on your list of points I hadn't considered. Maybe it didn't even occur to us that alters could say 'no' when asked to help because we just assumed it was their responsibility to step up and 'aid the team.' Hmm.
Thank you for your kind words. I agree, it doesn'tr mean they will respond, and that can help as a learning point as well.
Yeah, true, sometimes they do say NO, and they do NOT like to work with Angry person. So we need to have a place inside where Angry person can rest, not be triggered. Hmmm. That would be a good move, we think. Aren't we creative people? Don't We Endure? Don't we shine when we're polished by sorrow and fear? IT's so good to find community, where we can see that we are not alone, (HaHa, have we ever been?). Truly accepted. Thank you, everyone. Thank you. I have found that gratitude is they key. Nam Myoho Renge Kyo.
@@thectadclinic . Please could you give me the best email address to use to get hold of you . I would urgently like to make contact, but am not clear what would be the best route. Thanks so much, N
I never thought about doing this consciously, other than recently I was able to call on an adult part/other adult to cope with a triggered teenager part, a new skill I am developing. It is an interesting idea.
talking about increasing communication in my system in therapy sessions actually helped me practise this better! in the past if i was ever physically exhausted or burnt out i would kind of zone out and before i knew it my work would be done/id be home again and it was very helpful. but, it was confusing because it left me feeling dizzy, out of it and with a gap in my memory. communication really is key. we're not perfect at it now, but we're a lot better at voluntary switching and knowing whos out which is so much better!
Well done!
HOw lovely to find someone to acknowledge our existence, isn't it?! The best is to BE needed. That is the best. We like to find where we can shine, and we try to ev/ry day; and when we rhyme, to hold the line, we know we're sharing time.
And everything's okay.
🎼🎵🎶🎵🎶
Hello, Dr. Lloyd. First, thank you for the work you do and for this wonderful channel. It's great to see a medical professional who doesn't write off the existence of DID and OSDD, and doesn't invalidate those who experience these disorders.
That being said, it would be great if you might be able to create a video about how people with such disorders can go about talking to therapists,, psychiatrists, and other professionals who either flat out deny DID exists, or are highly sceptical and on the fence.
A short time ago, I had a session with one of my psychiatrists, as I have DP/DR, among other things, and without me even mentioning DID, she brought it up and started ranting about the TikTok community, and how she believes she's only ever seen one true case of DID. Again, I did not mention DID nor OSDD to her at all prior, as it is so heavily stigmatized in the psychiatric community. Of course, I left the session having some pretty mixed emotions and unhappy, because her bias was further proof to me to just keep my mouth shut.
I also see a therapist, who specializes in trauma, but when I've tried to speak about my headmates, as I prefer to call them, her first reaction was to say I was making up people in my head to deal with a recent traumatic situation, even though she has never asked a single question about what I endured in my childhood. So, she was quite dismissive of my situation in general, without me mentioning DID or OSDD at all, again because of stigma in general and because I see a running theme in the area I live.
So, I have remained vague with my team, thus far, but I would genuinely like it if you would discuss, in a video, about how I and people like me could talk about these things with other professionals. I'm sure I'm not the only one going through this and it's invalidating and hurtful, makes me angry, and makes me, and others, I'm sure, wary of disclosing how we are truly feeling and thinking to the very people who should be trying to help the most.
Thank you for you time, and again for all the work you do at your clinic and in the community. It's nice to see some very educational material coming from a true professional.
That's a really good idea, and one I discuss a lot at training events - I will see what I can do on this. Thank you for the suggestion!
My system has a worker. And its very work , at the work place, work oriented.
It seems to know all things work related and is able to get a lot done, even problem solve, and brain storm. But can't seem to do so outside the office. There are times worker skills could be so helpful outside the office. The only drawback would be worker is okay with superficial person contact, but no attachments. Worker has no human attachment values. Workers mind set is just the facts. This part amazes me and. Frustrates me. Mental imagery of this part, is like a little clock figurine that pops out at a certain hour, and pops back at another. Yet, this pary has kept me/ us gainfully employed.
Improving their ability to help you in off-hours could transform your life!! Good luck!
I have two alters whose job it is to work our job. At the moment we are unable to work, and it is difficult for these parts. But slowly they begin to find tasks where they can be functional outside of the work setting. This benefits us as a whole. I hope this will be happening for you also!!
Sometimes we switch because a part wants to front, i mean enjoying it, because it his or her kind of situation. None of my parts like situations they can't handle. Sometimes a part is called to takeover. When we ask for help, we trust parts a lot more then people. So we rather turn to our parts if we need someone. We grew into this, without much therapy, though it took years. We don't trust therapists much, though i admit you seem really nice. But i hate medicine, i find emdr too upsetting, therapy often too hasty, etc. I'd rather have alters help me out, they mean well and they're i also. Its nice to watch them take control.
🐉 Two of our friends have been aware and diagnosed for decades, they have reached the point of being able to do some voluntary stuff like you describe in this video.
They have however not been able to describe how they were able to get to that point of being able to do whatever they do to have access to be able to functionally do it.
Thank you for this video, hopefully we can share it with a therapist some day and it will help us grow.
I certainly hope so! Thank you for the comment!
Anecdotal and personal evidence: medical cannabis, used in a controlled way under supervision, seems to unlock the ability in some to witness dissociation and changes in thought as they happen. This needs to be studied by doctors specializing in dissociation.
This is such a great and refreshing take from a professional, compared to what we are used to.
We have grown a lot, mostly on our own, with regards to communication and being able to have certain parts do certain things, when they are more able to.
We have several disabilities, and even though we'd never wish DID on anyone, it does give us the ability to pull from the reserves or specific strengths of certain parts to do whatever is needed in that moment.
In a clinical environment however, in our experience, that is often perceived as something pathological. They'll say it is "troubling" and that they want the "real us" to be able to do that thing. Often capped off by a "I hope you'll be whole again some day!"
It always felt so contradictory that something that we worked so hard towards was perceived as something sick. So thank you for this. It means more to us than I could possibly put into UA-cam comment words
I am so, so glad it can help you.
@ boneitch . Brilliantly stated - and very important to point out... to give due acknowledgement regarding the truly astonishing differential between Dr. Lloyd's methodology / approach and the 'pathologically' brutalizing and insensitive approach of the majority of professionals.
@@ninaromm5491 Exactly!
Thank you Dr Lloyd for the content. Your videos are very helpful. It's my first time to manage a DID client after many years of practice. It is rare in our setting to have DID. Thank you for your channel. It's providing me a framework to help a client with this condition 🙂
I struggle with #4 because my parts bring in a lot of trauma, emotions, and memory and would make the situation worse. My headspace feels like a whirlwind. I struggle the most at work with ANP who is focused primarily on work and my other parts that are having trauma, emotions, and memories triggered by my coworkers and boss. I hope to one day learn more knowledge, communication, have the willingness to collaborate, achieve stabilization, and be able to accept that it may not work.
I hope so, too!
we have this same issue even with our ability to cooperate being a little more advanced than yours sounds. triggers can be hard to manage, but i hope you can overcome it!
My therapist keeps suggesting that I "ask inside" for help when I am struggling and I have begun to test that out but got frustrated when no switching happened and I felt even more alone. The advice you gave about practicing when it is not needed is really helpful for me, along with the idea of laying out some negociation.... I will do something for you if you will help me.... Thank you Dr Mike :-)
You are welcome, keep being patient, keep trying!
Already knew the answer to the question from the title. We used to be able to do this before our more recent trauma and it worked pretty well, even specifically with energy levels and alertness. Being able to work as a team is exactly what we want, and we want to get back to the control and communication we used to have before the more recent trauma.
1. Knowledge of the system - pretty solid at least for those of us discovered and identified so far (we know there's lots more)
2. Communication - was great for 2 months between syscovery and trauma, been abysmal for the last 3 years since then but maybe slightly improved in the last few months
3. Collaboration - depends on who it is, some traumatised alters don't want to be in the front but others are keen to have front time
4. Stabilisation - pretty good, the instability mostly comes from dormant alters hitting front with passive influence of things like BPD splitting or panic attacks, still needs a bit of work
5. Acceptance - yep, but it's very frustrating. Even with a therapist we can't switch in front of people or on camera
I'm definitely going to share this video with our support team so they can help us practice. Our therapist didn't want to help us practice bc she thought it could be dangerous or harmful or be detrimental to therapy, but Jamie and Maven and I know it's so important for us
[Kaylee]
Great, good luck to you all!
Switching in this way is super helpful.
The only thing that I would add is that it's really important to teach the various system members tools to help regulate their emotions or the body's emotions, once you're able to.
Coming into the body after someone is in distress is rough as hell and it's easy to get flooded with all of that. But if the member coming in is *prepared* for the intense emotional load coming, then they have a much better chance of working through the body load from the trigger and getting the body back to a neutral or a good place even.
Thanks for the video. :) your content really does help and it helps explain a lot of things that my loved ones have had to figure out on our own.
This sounds like a superpower, if you can manage it 😊 Diagnosed pretty recently so It’s REALLY hard to get to the next day, hour, moment at times. Thanks for the hopeful information!
You are welcome, I have heard people say it can feel like a superpower.
Could you do a video about flashbacks, and also how adults with dissociative disorders process new trauma?
i've gotten to know my system for less than a year but their drive to 'function' externally is so mutual, they've put in absolute months of work to train this skill. they didn't even get help (but i don't recommend that because along the way, there was a lot of trouble. we have certain 'crewmates' who are built specifically for tasks that make them a little hard to get along with as personalities, so there was an incident when this all started where we asked our host to cooperate with us and she just went dormant. any time she'd peek out of that place, she'd belittle our progress and assume that she had lost her mind entirely, so externally our friends were observing us swinging from 'we're a system' to 'i've lost my mind' and back. she struggled with that but we finally got her full cooperation - and doing so helped resolve her own identity-related anxiety. but again... that took a while without some kind of guidance.)
We have a pretty nice grasp of 2 and 3 and an unfortunately fantastic grasp on 5, but 4 gives us trouble and 1 could use some work. There's always something new to learn and it's easy for us to get cocky- we share a mind, so OF COURSE we know each other, right? Not so. One communication tool I've been practicing lately, that I would recommend up and down, is writing letters to other alters. Reading journal entries that others left is one thing, but addressing them or being addressed in a letter feels very different. It opens up an intimate line of emotion, questioning, and sharing between two of us, and that has brought us a lot more communication.
Between four of us, there is a decent enough grasp on these 5 things that we can semi-reliably switch between each other as needed. Practicing that has brought us understanding of number 5, because it depends on whether the other alter is even "close by" or can even on factors from the day- too much coffee? Try again later. It also does not work if the alter trying to switch out was triggered out, and that's number 4 rearing it's head.
I really love your content and I really enjoyed this video. It touches on functional multiplicity, too! Are there any other tricks for communication you have used to help systems know their system? Thank you!
Same for us, writing letters to specific alters is very helpful in our system! In addition to that, for some alters it works well (better) to record voice messages for other parts. Either because they are not writers themselves or because the addressed part is not really a reader.
Hand written messsages and voice messages can also help convince an alter that the other alters are real, that they are really there. It is more personal and more convincing than typed digital text.
I've been able to do this, I've got a specific alter that seems to be highly intelligent and I've been able to consciously switch into him to achieve things, this video has confirmed for me that I'm not as nuts as I feel haha.
Your videos always help us process our feelings on a hard day. Thank you for always educating in an accepting way~
Thank you for another very down to earth and helpful video. It provides hope and perspective, which is much needed at times and also much appreciated.
I (we) have found that techniques like this are very very helpful, once there is enough trust and once we have practiced the switching on purpose between specific parts. Not only is it very helpful for me (or my therapist) to be able to call a well functioning practical part to come and walk home after an intense therapy session for example. But it also really helps a young and scared part to be able to call me to come whenever she feels overwhelmed or wants out of a situation. She doesn't know me (yet) but with our therapist as a go between, we now have a deal that I will make sure that she never has to be in some specific situation. She can call me and I will make sure I deal with it.
I find that making these changes and collaborations take a lot of time and effort, but it is so worth it for the stability and peace of mind it brings. It gives us more control, where dissociation is basically usually about losing control.
Yes, time and effort are key, not always available though, so well done for persevering.
How we started with calling alters outside was we started using a pendulum and a pendulum board with the alphabet so that the alter could then use gentle subconscious hand movements to explain what their needs were and the spinning of the pendulum acts as a good way to help the switch of the alter who actively wants to front. We started to do this with situations that were fun like a hobby that the alter liked or hanging out with their best friend for example. This builds trust and gives them a positive association with coming outside when asked. Keep in mind if you let your alters have fun and nice things they will most likely be willing to help you when you are tired or struggling or even want to help you because they will see you as a friend etc.
That sounds interesting but I can not picture what u mean and how to use or get one. I will research but if u have anything you care to explain in more detail I would be grateful.
Oh, this video is wonderful, thank you! We've been doing this for a while now, but we often feel guilty that we're able to do this due to online scorn at the idea of 'switching on purpose' being 'impossible' and such. So this is really reassuring to know we're potentially in the right direction for functional multiplicity.
Unfortunately we lack a proper DID therapist, but we had personally noticed earlier on that alters- our host in particular- were becoming exhausted from fronting too long; yet the ones that hadn't fronted for a while were coming out refreshed. Having already set up inner-world procedures for easier switching a long time before, we began to keep an eye on how long particular clusters/groups had been near front, and after a week or so we would make sure to switch to a different cluster of alters and sort of... cycle everyone out.
Of course there are issues: sometimes clusters end up fronting sooner due to triggers, purposes, etc, one or two alters like to front far more than is good for them, not every alter is on-board with the idea, and we do sometimes push ourselves past the exhaustion point. But ultimately, our mental health has improved fantastically since it was put in place. We stopped getting overwhelmed so quickly, we had less meltdowns, we learnt more about alters we didn't usually have communication with, etc.
But I digress- really, thank you for this video. It's not a topic we've really heard talked about, and it's really wonderful for the internet to have access to this sort of information from a professional source (both systems and singlets alike). So thank you again!
You are welcome! I am sad hearing the "online scorn" comment, that feels very unfair and unjustified.
Thank you for making this content! You present things in a way that's easy to understand and very informative 😄
You are most welcome, glad you like it.
Ah we have a version of this for us that we didnt know was a dissociateive thing when we were little and only recently realised: we can swap "thought trains" when we are lying down/going to sleep by sinply rollling over! Now we know its essentially summoning an alter forward, but we used to very easily be able to 'stop' thoughts that felt like they were going to lead to either nightmares or trauma memories by just swapping the side we were laying on, very handy for interrupting the start of a bad thought spiral or nightmare before we were going to bed, but the weird thing about it was that we could just as easily pick up the original thought train if we just rolled over again. As if it were on pause by swapping sides, these days i think this is because an alter recognises a Bad Thought is going to happen and proactively moves the body to a way they can connect with it better to help us, even without the fronter having to ask for it.
For the person that asked the question i would say, as dr mike said, that communication is super important for this kind of thing: you need to know what types of jobs/activities certain alters are capable of handling so you can ask the right person to take over within the agreed limits and with minimal disruption to the system.
Good video dr, thankyou! A good reminder that things always tend to work out better when you communicate and work with your system instead of just expecting them to do things for you 'because it helps'!
thank you kindly for this video mike, this was really helpful for us and honestly it's just validating to hear a clinician trust that systems can choose what they want for their future and encouraging that level of healing for functional multiplicity
we are a highly fragmented system with quite severe dissociation (polyfragmentation, in other words) and we wondered if you would ever hopefully speak on polyfragmentation/complex DID?
it feels like there just isn't much (or at least as much as we'd like) information on this experience we have, especially from a clinical standpoint
thank you for your content, it's just so healing and helpful for us all the time, you're doing such a great thing
You are so welcome! It is a good topic for a video, thank you.
@@thectadclinic thank you even just for the consideration 💛
we look forward to your content regardless, like always!!
Can you make a video on polyfragmented DID? Like symptoms and specific things that are specific to polyfragmented systems? It is really hard to find good info on them. We are recently diagnosed and possibly polyfragmented and have been struggling to find much info on polyfragmentation.
I’ve been doing that recently and it’s made things easier , like dealing with health professionals. Especially asking for non combative parts not to come through
We're getting so close to this, we still have some blips but its got so much better (your channel has been a huge help along with several others while we waited for therapy).
Thank you!
We were diagnosed with DID a few months ago. When our system is calm and business as usual, we can usually induce a healthy switch, by either focusing on a certain alter enough causing them to front, or by asking our gatekeeper if she is available if she can help us switch. But when we are distressed and in panic mode we loose all control over switches and our ability to communicate with each other is weakened. Often times this brings an EP to front, which, depending on the alter, can be a good thing in the case of our protector fronting (unless it was one of her trauma triggers then she freaks out) or can be a bad thing like bringing a persecutor or a little to the fromt
This is a great video. I'm able to do this but it has indeed taken A LOT of practice over the course of years. My youngest part sometimes shows up when I'm at work and she gets very squirmy and tired and wants to go home. I gently tell her to go somewhere else and come back when I'm finished. It didn't use to work but it usually does now. It helps to remind her before starting work that she can stay away for the time being so she doesn't get overwhelmed or anxious. Good luck to those of you out there who are learning how to do this. Practice helps a lot, just like Dr. Lloyd said. He gets it.
As I, ANP has been extremely good at adapting to our surroundings as a way of being invisible and safe. We feel the need of changing our outer way of living. To find forms that where we can contribute as a whole. In a safe way. Talking with vulnerable people as a peer-worker is one way and we are being very calm and able to calm others. As one of us has the role of calming ourselves.
Thank you for your videos.
you are truly welcome.
Oh, we so often want to be able to do this. We have been so overwhelmed and constantly exhausted since our system started to crack. It is so so hard feeling either stuck and overwhelmed or when switching does happen its often abrupt and leaves us feeling excluded from our own life with almost no idea why.
We have just started trying to establish the habit of at least having whoever ends up driving the bus leaving some sort of message but only a few are actually on board so far.
We have had some success with "positive triggers" with music or activities someone in the system likes to pull them forward... it's been useful at times... but we've never managed (to THIS point) to manage the dissociation/switching like this. It would be AMAZING for us to get to that point.
And sometimes trying to do this or super stressful times causes us to switch a lot and feel unstable and it really leaves us physically and even more mentally exhausted.
Thank you for this video; to find a possible way of learning how to be in control of living with dissociation and so manage life as it comes . This video was helpful!
This one was for you! Glad you liked it.
We are sometimes able to do this. We have a few parts that are there to take over when the rest of the system can’t cope. Ultimately though, to answer the original question, if our actual body is physically exhausted there is nothing that can be done except rest. As we are autistic too this does complicate things. We have a video on our channel discussing it a bit, as you say it helps to practise when calm and in a therapy session. We are lucky enough to have access to therapy but the communication between alters happens more (for us) outside of therapy.
I can relate to this a lot, also being autistic. We also have parts whose function it is to cope/function/take over when we are overwhelmed and then act normally and as if nothing is wrong (to them, actually nothing is wrong, they don't see and experience some of out problems and challenges). But a lot of times they use energy that we actually don't have to spare, so we have to rest afterwards to pay off this debt (with interest added to it).
This has to be a common thing for autistic systems. The whole construct of “masking” combined with how autistic people (diagnosed or not) are pushed to their absolute limits in the name of “discipline” means it is nearly inevitable we would have to learn to do this quite early, perhaps without being aware of it.
We are always cofronting, so we can maintain working memory across alters to seamlessly blend together on a surface level. Host serves as a sort of “bridge” to us: the common denominator across all of our switches, the part that convinces everyone we are still the same person…
Unfortunately, we are still prone to massive burnout from this, and host tends to feel all of its effects the most…
Yes, I’ve learned to let another alter drive depending on the need of our host ❤. Our system is now co-conscious. There is still lots of switching and lots of dissociation, but we can all record the memory of our actions now whereas at first, we couldn’t - we had amnesia, misplaced memories and lapses, But I was under the guidance of a therapist ❤. Not sure we will ever integrate, but we all decided to base our decisions on what’s best for our Host (Sam) so that we can all thrive 💜💜💜.
It turns out my system had been doing this for years leading up to my “breakdown” when I suddenly became fully aware of their existence. It’s how we manage getting various tasks done in our day to day life to this day. I will call for someone who can handle making dinner for example. There times however that I ask for someone to handle something and get told to do it myself 😅. Other parts are starting to learn newer tasks so that there are more that can do certain jobs. I assumed all systems worked like this until my therapist said it wasn’t something she had seen a lot of before me .
I believe I have CPTSD and I have 10/10 adverse childhood events. Now at age 50, I rarely dissociate and am usually confident capable happy and authentic. Grief during Covid reopened my losses, and my inner child self rushed into the grief space within me, and she howled loud and long. Now she feels like a cried out kid and is sitting in my heart, calling me to care for her. So to do that, I have to be an adult and take care of real problems in my life, medical and financial.
This is just what I needed!
This video is really good., thank you so much for covering this topic :-) This subject is not touched on in many other videos on UA-cam. Thank you so much again for this.
we can switch like this to an extent, but really only with two of us, we have a small system of 5 (that we know about 😅) and i (host) can switch with our protector “on the fly” but it’s not always available. we’re co-con most of the time which helps communication. the other 3 have requirements before they front so they don’t front very often without triggers.
Thank you so much for this video. Your timing is perfect as this has been on our minds a lot. We used to do this often, especially when something important was happening and we needed help. Sadly with the way events happened over the last few years when therapy was not very consistent we have lost a lot of co-consciousness, this has meant it is harder to ask our system for help. This gives me a sense of hope, that has been missing.
Hopefully you can pick it back up soon.
@@thectadclinic thank you.
You are helping so many by sharing your work, thank you!
You are welcome!
In our system we are not quite as conscious about choosing a part to go out. It used to be our very strong ANP going out. But we try to let a less controlling and more adult part take over. But when are we not dissociating? One answer is when we are writing or painting and being alone in a safe spot. The sign that we are not dissociating is a strong feeling of being whole and alive. It feels like we are always in a dissociative state if only one of our system is out. I hope this makes sense.
Of course, yes, it makes sense. In a way, dissociation would be ever present, just differing levels of how it is helping or hindering, perhaps?
It is interesting that you said to do this in a safe environment first. not when you actually need to do it.
When we had tried this for the first time. it was just so i could play video games,
it was very low stakes .. it did not matter that much. we were at home with not a lot going on.
Actually, we have had a harder time doing this when it is something we need to do.
oh also! some of us have identified triggers that are not really anything bad or traumatic. we can do them sometimes.
Brilliant Dr. Mike! You hit this one out of the park! I'd been asking some of the others about their likes/dislikes, skills, etc. but this kind of collaboration hadn't occurred to us yet. How are the ducks?
Trying to stay out of trouble...
@@thectadclinic lol
Really great video. Thank you.
You are welcome!
Can you make a video for people who are close with someone with did/osdd about how they can help?
Only been able to do this once but it was more on accident. Something to work towards one day. Would love to know more about inner worlds and what function they play for interactions between host/parts.
I feel like afterwe really accepted our(suspected) osdd and really started talking to eachother that we have started doing this especially for 2 alters have thier own "job" that everyone agrees on that no matter who is fronting if that thing happens one of the 2 alters takes over
Therapists online: Here's how to utilize a dissociation disorder for your benefit. Also here's an explanation on what dissociative experiences you're experiencing
Therapists in person: CBT/DBT isn't helping because you're just being resistant. Dissociative disorders don't exist. You must be lying about your symptoms and previous testing.
I wish I could have found someone like you
So sad this has been your experience. Our team hopefully do much better than this!!
Thanks for another video. Wish I was at this phase. God willing will get there. Think I’ve tried to do it in spite of good organization inside. Long Covid May be doing some damage to my brain too. TMI. Thanks again 👍🏻
You are welcome!
We‘ve done that quite a few times on purpose. At the moment it‘s like that but against MY will: one alter is exhausted and has also lost her hope which made her to disappear and me to front that I truly don‘t enjoy.
May I ask you kindly to make a video about age sliding alters, please? I am one and I don‘t understand it how it is possible. I am always very anxious to communicate this topic to therapists because I think they will think that I make it up.
Thank you.
i have some really good compassion and cooperation in my system. I would like if we could do this when it's needed when stressed or triggered ---but we really are not there yet. in daily things doing stuff like banking, then maybe going out cycling , or cooking . I figured out this could be done when i painted one year like i never had in my life - and don't know where or who rather did that level of skill. Another clue is going into the kitchen and realizing 'what's that' when looking at the microwave - oops . Taking time when doing things really helps. I find if i'm exhausted when i am out i can get help to get home.
I wonder if this can happen involuntarily. Years ago, I was driving home from some friends, being very exhausted. I can't remember around 10 minutes of that drive, I just know something happend on a highway and I "woke up" later on another highway, driving perfectly in line and keeping distance. Now, with the knowledge about possible existing parts, I wonder if one of them took over to get me some minutes of rest.
It could be, yes, as it happens when a sense of danger to the self is present. Maybe they were just being really helpful!
I do not have to communicate. It happens automatically. I just don't realize it until afterwards timing unknown.
I just left a polite, intelligent, well informed comment which I thought would be very helpful to others and it was deleted? People always show you who they are, how sad as I was really excited to find this channel.
Nothing has been deleted from this side. Can you repost?
@@thectadclinic Sorry, I can’t repost as I didn’t write the comment, which happens all too often. Maybe like children should not have access to the car keys LOL Maybe she/he will come across this. Namaste 💜🙏💜
This was something that happens mainly at work when I’m exhausted and our prosecutor fronts for us. Last year one of our partners saw how tired I was and I didn’t know how I was going to drive home but she said Archie can do it. And after that we’ve been practicing fronting from time to time but it seems they get tried easily sometimes and I feel maybe it’s because they are only used to fronting when I’m feeling at the end of my rope
My therapist has been using this more in session. Times when feeling triggered and mute, he mentions another part (who is more stable and carries empathy for the others) and often I'll feel a shift into feeling more grounded and be able to talk easily again. However, the ability to explain or express the previous affect may be lost. In what instances is promoting switching in therapy beneficial vs stalling progress/processing? What is the best way to process traumatic affect when trauma holding parts go mute?
I can't really answer specifics like that, only that I hope you and your therapist can work it out.
@@thectadclinic That's understandable, thank you. We've been working on it and things have been better the past couple sessions.
Dr. Lloyd, can a therapist who is just a EMDR specialist who works with trauma help me with DID? She found DID in me and we have been working on me and my parts. I am not super familiar with my parts but key parts of me take over throughout the day. I might have maybe 30 to 40 parts. I have been seeing my therapist for a bit over a year. My dissociation has been lessening. I have been becoming co-conscious with some of my parts. My amnesia has been lessening. So the overall question is, can someone who doesn't specialize in DID or dissociation help someone with DID? THanks, Joe
We feel sad for so many people who don’t have access to therapy. On almost all videos you talk about the importance of therapy and we agree but i think the vast majority haven’t got access to a therapist
Agreed, and that shouldn’t be the case.
Janina Fisher's book "healing The Fragmented Selves of Trauma Survivors" goes into how to do this in daily life rather clearly in chapter 8. I like her use of clinical vignettes that paint a picture of how you would actually do this. If you don't have good internal communication, adequate stabilization skills you can use, or you have parts that act to harm when they are out, you may not be ready for this. You have other skills to learn to put in your toolbox first. Living with dissociation is a chronic disorder you have to manage with effective tools, not drugs or support groups.
The video clearly states what is needed to be 'ready for this', thank you for repeating it here in the comments. However, support groups can be tremendously helpful for people to connect with others in similar situations. Also, many people manage effectively using medication, it is dangerous to suggest they should not be used.
@@thectadclinic You misunderstood my comment on meds and support; medications do not manage system issues. Support groups don't either. Drugs don't do anything for dissociation symptoms. No trauma therapist thinks that. They treat depression, anxiety, and other symptoms that are co-morbid with trauma. Support groups are not treatment, and the people in them often support the ideas that trauma therapy is useless unless the therapist has DID, or that this is not a treatable disorder but a lifestyle "choice". Both of these can send vulnerable clients right into the hospital.
@@Cathy-xi8cb If I misinterpreted it, then others could.
Thank you for this Cathy I had forgotten about this book and it is very helpful that you have reminded me, I am so grateful. I was lucky enough to have a Psychiatrist who knew that drugs would not help me although I had already discovered that. I am well supported with homoeopathy and EFT. I found group therapy to be a very disquieting experience, to say the least, not for me! Namaste 💜🙏💜
Tbh I immediately felt badly about taking medication. It was a really hard step to allow myself some help I’m still quite ashamed to not be strong enough. How about we say every person in every way is unique and medication can be a useful tool?
I would LOVE to have control. How do I practice this? Do we have an exercise that u suggest?
Thank you for. Directing me to this. You guys are great.
What's the magic spell when you can start making this happen?! 😄😉 Thanks for another useful and supportive video. I hope we can reach somewhere near this in the future.
I guess when it feels right, safe, well-contained and when your wand is fully charged...
@@thectadclinic 😆
Thanks!
All of our parts are young and even tho’ they have some skills and energy I soooooo need, it’s the external environment that doesn’t lend itself to being accepting of our teens/tweens
I desperately need this skill.
One day, hopefully!
Do you guys have any talks or thoughts on TBI along PTSD or CPTSD?
You mean traumatic brain injury?
@@thectadclinic yeah. Ive heard that the 2 combined can really be complicated
We’re completely unable to communicate or work together in any way, and I really really need help but we have no way to get access to therapy 😣
we got your message, you will be getting a reply soon - keep an eye on email.
We're able to do this sometimes, just be like hey this one's on you, and switch out, it happens a lot at work
I was diagnosed with OSDD about a month ago, and I’m still having trouble grasping the “parts” part of the disorder. Can you have OSDD without having alters??
well, OSDD is about alters as well, just in a different way to DID. They are very similar conditions.
Boy! This would sure be helpful to have more fluidity, more choice/ volition! It feels sooo random!
So niceand helpful that you answer our questions. This is a good question. 👍
It really was!
Sort of like tag team wrestling???
I think this is sound advice in principle, but I disagree on the the necessity of practising switching/swaping only in safe situations and therapy. Beside not everyone having access to therapy, there are also people/alters who don't want to front in therapy.
We have some protection-oriented people/alter, who will bring us safely out of a stressful situation and enable us to look after triggerd littles meanwhile, who we had to ask to front and help in quite unsafe enviroments, because else a little would have been triggered to front, which would be much worse. And they tend to distrust and dislike therapeutic settings out of very understandable reasons btw.
Tnanks for your thoughts on this. The video is more aimed at people who want to be able to control the nature of dissociation, it absolutely doesn't take away from the situations when it is needed, and happens on its own!
I think you might have misunderstood me. I'm talking about situations, where, when dissociation would have happened on it's own, someone would front, who couldn't handle the situation in a healthy way like a little/child-alter or someone with a very strong fight- or flawn-response. To prevent this e.g. a host-alter would ask a protector-alter to front to deal with the situation, that is overwhelming for the host.
My system just created me (in april) to know nothing about anything. Brand new. It was very easy at the start. I just existed. But as I start to hear others it gets much more complicated. Bit what you describe is certainly a goal..
Yes. SOmetimes spontaneously. Before I knew our system, one time I was about to be accosted by a trucdriver when we were somehow hitchhiking from one place to another on the American Continent, during 1968-1970, not sure why, or who (of us) was there. But we do know that David come up, bold, made a bawdy comment about having the clap, !come on now!, and the truckdriver reached over us, opened the door, and kicked us out. Bump bump roll, that's all I remember, that moment, that vignette. Nothing before or after.
Dont know when or where or who. Huh!
Now, after I have spent 52 years chanting Nam Myoho Renge Kyo (sgi.org) and discovery perhaps with a foundation of communication because everyone has experienced that bodily vibration (KYO). Now David Bigg is known, does help quite a bit, has a strong bACK for work need to be done (Our body is 75 years old). We are in therapy, and will refer our therapist to you. Thank you for being here and reaching out to us. Acknowledge. Also others do like to help. We do plan and ask others to please come help, like cleaning the house, a sometimes dreaded chore, and we have a girl BFF who really likes to make things shine. Still working on all of this! :( ;{. :). ;-). Nam Myoho Renge Kyo.
These videos are extreme useful!!