Therapists who refuse switching are adding to the shame and trauma. It shows their ignorance and really angers me. Thank you for what you do to educate both professionals and survivors.
My parts are learning it's safe to come out and be themselves, which helps me realize it's safe to let them be parts of me, not independent, helpless little creatures. One of the things my therapist has done is helped me be able to acknowledge and then shepherd them back to a safe place when I need to go back to the adult world. Having someone else acknowledge and accept them, be willing to listen to them, is amazingly powerful. I've been able to talk about them with other therapists, but this guy now lets them talk directly, and that's made it okay to allow the underlying issues to be explored too.
Kia ora from New Zealand coupd I please copy what you wrote to show my closest person in life who started encouraging mynparts to talk and it's exactly what you said they felt safe to come out to her and what you say sums up for me and what I have found the impact of her doing this has had for me she now gone a way so I felt a lot of my arts shit down won't come out to others thsnk you nga mihi Mich
I had met a new part who refused to let me tell my partner about them until my partner mentioned another of our parts and the new little realized that we don't have to hide from everyone. Now the little one loves to pop in and play around my partner and has helped other parts learn there are safe people who want to love them too 🥰💖
I'm getting better at negotiating with my 4 parts. I can feel when a switch is about to happen, and I can prepare for it, usually by writing lists for the alter to look at. The last switch resulted in me switching back with a very clean fish tank. It is still scary, and in dealing with it in real life, I do still feel ashamed. But I'm learning to trust my team so that when they step forward, we are all working together. But this took over a year in intense therapy and its an ongoing process. My therapist was AMAZING and I cannot thank her enough. Great video too!
Wow. I really wish my last therapist ever considered this. I'm starting therapy again with a new therapist and I'm very worried and scared because we have had horrible experiences with mental health professionals, and something particularly scary for us is either switch or dissociate IN session. Our last therapist supposedly accepted and acknowledged our alters but when she invalidated one of our littles in front of their face while they finally felt safe to front in therapy, we couldn't take it anymore, we fired her. It was so painful and damaging for this particular little, they still ask sometimes if we believe they're real or not and they still get sad and confused about what happened. They feel so invalidated since then 🥺. I really hope someday we find a good therapist that is willing to learn with us and won't rush, push, or invalidate us ever again.
We realized we were plural before we started any sort of therapy related to dissociation at all. Because we didn't have any therapists for dissociation at the time, we eventually decided to practice skills ourselves. One way we practiced things was when we had tea with multiple of us around (which was nearly every time), we would make one mug per part near the front (so usually 3 mugs of tea each time). Each of us would have tea from our own, personal, mug. It was a great way to practice switching in a safe environment (our own room in a safe house, which isn't necessarily something people have access to). The tea was a great way to practice grounding and each of us having our own mug created a sense of personal ownership as well. Thought we would share this sort of thing in case someone else might find it useful. We were probably really lucky that we were all really cooperative and mutually trusting, so it mightn't work for everyone, but it was really helpful for us
Thank you Dr. Mike! I really appreciate your devotion to the CPTSD and DID community. More people need to be educated about DID. My husband was diagnosed 13 years ago. We have had some serious ups and downs. They are the best! They have made incredible progress in managing their disorder, mostly due to online platform education like yours. Keep up the good work, we appreciate you.
When I am with my therapist sometimes I feel parts want to talk to her but I feel shame so I do not tell her about this desire. Your video made me think and I like your approach. Thank you
If a therapist isn't skilled enough to get their client back into a self-state in which they can at least drive home or use public transportation to get home SAFELY, they have no business encouraging switching. A very skilled therapist knows how to structure/scaffold a therapy session, but an unskilled therapist can cause decompensation in a client with DID. How will you know if your therapist is skilled, or simply thinks they are? You ask them what their plan is, ask them what techniques they might use if things go south, and how they have decided that you have the ability to handle this in therapy. You ask a lot of questions that could put them on the defensive and you might in fact make them really uncomfortable. Not as uncomfortable as YOU will be if they can't help you leave the session in good shape. Be a very wise customer of services, and know that everyone inside will trust you more when you take care to do this wisely.
Unskilled therapists have no business offering services to people with such difficulties in their lives…but, many of us started out unskilled in dissociation but highly skilled in therapy. Sometimes the learning is done as a collaborative process. We all have to learn skills on the job, and many therapists get into this work because they encounter switching, and do an amazing job handling it. There are many differences in skill that can be factored in, but yes, encouraging and encountering can be quite different.
I’ve just discovered the organisation I’m having/had counselling with (for SA-traumas) exclusively use trainees. I’ve had to abruptly quit seeing my counsellor as she was being repeatedly ’abusive’ with whatever technique she used on me. I’m now stuck in an intensely angry state/alter, even after 4 weeks. I know counsellors have to start training somewhere, but they (or at least the trainee I was seeing) really don’t have the skills to support SA-trauma victims. It’s absolutely having the reverse effect of help that’s needed.
I’m 3 yrs into therapy, I am often able to bring forward specific parts or rather call for a volunteer to handle a certain task or to engage with other people. We have a sort of morning meeting where we plan what has to be done and who will take care of it. It really helps give me confidence that we can handle what the day has to throw us
Thank you for this video. You're right, there are far too many therapists who think that switching is always a bad thing. There are also a lot of people who misunderstand DID, and think that "on purpose" switching is not possible, that it only happens due to triggers that are out of our control. One thing I would add to this discussion is that it's important, when trying to switch on purpose, that we have the consent of both the alter going "in" and the one coming "out". The more we have mutual consent, the smoother the switch will go. This is why learning to communicate and cooperate with our system is essential. We have come a long way in learning to know when it would be beneficial for us to switch. The only times we have difficulty, usually, is when more than one alter wants to come out when things are going well, and there can be a conflict, which gives us a physical headache (what many systems call a "switching headache"). But we have learned that it helps to have a "gatekeeper" alter who can help resolve these sorts of conflicts. Again, thank you for all of your efforts. There have been several of your videos that have shown, to me, that you really "get" DID a lot more than a lot of other clinicians. Leyna
Lol we had a psych tell us that interacting with the parts made it worse when host had already tried ignoring us for the previous ~5+ (miserable) years (i almost walked us out and we didn't go back). Fast forward to now, we got communication opened up and can function better as a team (we've also had ~20-25ish fusions which im sure she'd also be the sort to think final fusion was the only way while ironically working against that). Your channel has been a huge help btw, and in case we havent said before; thank you for making these available, theyve been very helpful in learning to understand ourselves.
Lovely video Mike, I am in therapy here in Norway for DID and I've shown my psychologist your videos :) I am still pretty new in the process of DID therapy as it's rather newly discovered this year after 11 years in therapy. Regarding the video, I am sometimes able to dissociate my body, I can't switch between alters deliberately but I can turn off temperature, pain and other bodily sensations completely. Turning them back on is another task entirely though hehe. But I can go "this is cold, hang on............ Ok now it isn't"
On one side we have a huge sense of relief that we know switching will just happen when needed. We have trust in this, which has taken years to gain, but we now fully have that. On the downside of this, we went on a trip down home to say goodbye to some friends and so much switching happened that we lost chunks of time. Losing co-con when this happens is the booming tricky part of this. Thank you for all that you do 🦆
None of my switching happens in my daily life "when needed" and certainly not "on request", unless a therapist is present. Most of it happens when I cannot handle some conflict or emotion. It is a defense mechanism that has lost its value/benefit since the abuse has ended. And yes, losing time in daily life is very very damaging to our ability to function. So not a positive on any level to lose time.
6:15 confident to be present in uncomfortable places. Feel more control which transfers to confidence. Makes so much sense. May help unlock the memories that are locked away.
I'm still learning how to coax parts out. I had a previous therapist meet a part, acknowledge his presence, and then go on to say he has no say in how life goes, that he's essentially worthless and should just not come out under any circumstances. To boot, this wasn't a persecutor part; this was a caretaker kind of part. It's taken a few years to help undo that mindset for that part. I don't think some therapists realise the authority they may have in their clients' lives, you know what I mean? My current therapist is amazing, though, and has even invited alters to attend therapy, in like a written formal invitation. Still trying to help parts understand that an invitation is not a demand and they shouldn't feel obligated to "perform" or something if they really cannot, do not want to come out. Thank you for these videos. Knowing you approach this condition with compassion and kindness is a relief.
Functionality should be the aim, not normality. If you tried to get someone with a limp to walk 🚶 normally, it will end up injuring them further and/or longer. However, if you just accept the limp and adapt around it, it is a mild inconvenience. Mental health should operate the same way.
No physical therapist would not attempt to actively rehab someone with a limp, whether it be a congenital deformity, an acute injury, or a degenerative neuromuscular disorder. Imagine them NOT doing exercises to build strength and stability, but just saying "We will give you a cane and an orthotic for your shoe, go out there and adapt". Building distress tolerance through learning stabilization skills, and learning the healthy cognitive and interpersonal skills we couldn't acquire in our neglectful and abusive childhoods are OUR rehab.
Awesome video! We are four years into our therapy journey with DID and this idea of mastering dissociation and switching, while we found it really difficult at first, has absolutely been the most worthwhile thing we’ve worked on…it just makes everything so much easier and more clear…for us anyway. Hopefully someday this will be the go to norm for DID and OSDD treatment. Thank you for all you do to help that happen!
Co-con… My most active and social part has gone quiet and I’m not sure what’s going on. So I’m kind of dealing with the opposite. She’s such a bright part of me and it might be strange to say but I miss her. I’ve been under a lot of family relational related stress right now so maybe she’s avoiding that.
I know you left this comment a year ago, but I just want to say hang in there and I can relate. I had a beautiful creative writing part that also wanted to do poetry and I spent a year creating incredible things with her, then processing of trauma in another part took over for almost another year and I lost her, I thought, almost completely.
I’ve just started psychotherapy due to dissociation, derealization and depersonalization. Just started to talk about parts. I’ve been seeing the guy for a few months now and he is very capable at what he does and very perceptive. I think it was the first or second time I saw him before I even delved into the issue he spotted it, looked me deep in the eyes and said Sean, you are real 😅 so I am very confident in his ability. I have looked into this extensively with a lot of help from your channel. I am certain I have DID/OSDD because so much of what I have experienced over the years is explained by DID/OSDD. I haven’t experienced full amnesia, but I do experience switching between different parts/versions of myself with different views, opinions and perceptions of the world around me. I feel like 3 for these, myself, the protector and the child have been active my whole life. I’m only just starting to realize that they are not all ‘me’ (I know I am all of them, but subjectively at different moments/in different situations). But when I was at work after talking to him about dissociation and when I first started looking into this, for about 5-10 minutes one morning it felt like my mind was flicking through a flick book of different ‘personalities’ if this makes sense. I don’t know if it was many different versions of me or if the couple I am aware of were just having real mixed emotions about it and where switching rapidly 🤷♂️ so a video on how to induce switching would help me massively to try and understand the nature of the switching and if it’s only a few or a larger….‘audience’ 😅 I’d like to discuss with my therapist a little more down the line when he understands the nature of my trauma better on trying to contact other parts. Oh….I tried the leaving a note trick at the start of this. I left a note on a box of Lego, saying you are safe in this body, no one will hurt you, I’d like to make contact. That evening I remembered the name of a film I obsessively watched as a child and I’ve been trying to remember for years 😅 so thank you for that. I feel parts are ready to come forward they are just a little apprehensive/not sure how to yet. Many thanks for taking the time to make these videos, they have helped me massively 🙏
My girlfriend has, so far, 5 or 6 different identities, and it can be so difficult to understand who is in control at any one moment, as several of her identities are very similar, with only small differences. Some of them, like her child-self, and the one that gets really angry are easier to discern, but it's very hard sometimes. A couple of them are starting to give themselves different names though, which helps a bit. The amnesia thing is the biggest problem. I will be having a conversation with her, that can be quite long and involved, and then she'll switch and whoever takes over will have had no idea what we were talking about, and I'll have to try and recount everything that was said.
We switch in therapy and our psychiatrist doesn’t mind but she encourages us to do it if it happens . It helps our alters get therapy and our alters have to feel comfortable with the therapist to do this. Our current therapist is amazing. Good video Dr.Mike your amazing ❤
A really helpful video Mike. Thankfully we have a therapist that (most) parts are almost bursting to talk to. My challenge is being able to ‘master’ as you say the process of switching. We really need help with becoming co-conscious it’s just not happening and I’m also confused as to whether co-con isn’t necessarily ‘safe’ as we worry we will then be overwhelmed with one another’s emotions / memories. A video about the ‘how to’ of becoming co-con with parts so you can switch back without someone externally doing it (ie our therapist knows how to get me back) I could really really really do with allowing safe switches in every day life as I am exhausted from masking and could do with help from other parts!
I feel I am in exactly the same situation as you Amanda, I’m aware of my parts and some of their needs but being able to communicate and control switching is just not happening!
I'm new to therapy and recently diagnosed with did. It's all really scary to me, but knowing that it can be more in my control feels reassuring and hopeful. Thanks for the sensitive, informative videos
This makes so much sense. Thank you once again. I am however puzzled about the question: when am I not dissociating. It is as degrees of dissociation. Switching, déréalisation depersonalization feeling numb, being a head without a body is dissociation. But I feel like the times I/we are not dissociating is when we all are calm and present inside without being controlled back to "prison" And for that we need to be alone in a safe place.
I only recently discovered this channel but I do have a question. My ‘part’ (haven’t gotten a diagnosis yet) doesn’t always switch when there’s a trigger, she just simply want to front. I’m unsure whether if that’s even possible
that was a really valuable content for us. now I understand a lot more, why the therapist bevor didn't help a lot and the one now already did with so few settings. before we had one, who always wanted us to avoid switches, now we just are welcome to be there as we are. and indeed it feels so much safer going there. thank you for that video ❤
Your videos are wonderfully clear and informative, thank you. My very oldest and dearest friend is coming to grips with some form of dissociative experience. She says she's received a diagnosis for a dissociative disorder, but at other times says that's not so (not sure if this would be denial or anasognosia etc). My question is this: regularly, she remembers me saying or doing things that she is in fact the one having said or done. I've observed it for a long while now and it's definitely a pattern. I wonder if it's possible that she has internalized me as an alter, somehow? Or maybe she's not aware of switching and remembers that 'the other person' said this or that, and if I'm present, she thinks the other person is me? Do you have experience with something like this?
I'm 55 and just in the last year coming to the realization that I've pretty heavily dissociated for most of my life. And that most people don't hear voices in their head - I always thought that was the 'inner voice' that people always talk about. Communication is extremely limited and not up to me. I wondered if you might be able to provide some information about this stage of things? For those who dissociate their dissociation/parts etc?
It’s also like the fear of actually existing. The fear of being present and within my body, fear of life and being acknowledged. The fear of being real
We have been taking turns with fronting while our host is processing a trauma from last month. Bev trusts us to take care of things and we don’t take that lightly.
Therapists who don’t “allow” switching in sessions should lose their licenses! I’m so sick of their ignorant, incorrect views. It’s truly enraging! These alters are not made up characters. They are necessary aspects of the personality that cannot be subtracted. These aspects need to discuss their trauma. Mental health professionals can be so frustrating!
@DIDHatchery .. Oh no, consider finding a new therapist. Don't waste more of *your* valuable life (time and money and emotions) with someone who is not a good fit. (Therp could wind up abusing your alters, and if you have issues where not all your alters are co-conscious, a bad therapist could cause more injury. Take excellent care of all of You. 💕
When my psychologist addresses our system I panic, when they ask me if another alter wants to step forward... it's like there is so much inside chatter happening then she says that and its silence and i feel them pull away. But i dont feel ill ever get control of my dissociation.
Thank you for the good work. Can you make a video on that people with complex-trauma and DID have the high risk of falling into trauma again and again and again in their adult live and how this works?
I am struggling with switching especially in therapy and have no ability to be able to switch back or be in control. I have two parts who can manage things and get us home safely but I am unable to be present most of the time when switches happen and I am stuck here unable to make any changes and I am frustrated.
It took us 2 years to build up the trust to bring some parts into the therapy room and now I have just started seeing a new therapist. We are really anxious about this new transition in therapy and the building of trust to happen all over again. Having to go over everything again from my childhood is not something I want to really do again but I understand that it is necessary for my new therapist .Are there any tips or advice you can share about starting with a new therapist? Thank you 🙏
@@thectadclinicAs I work through seeing my responses to stress and slowly start to be independent and trying to have a "normal" life for myself, I have a deep sense that while doing this I start to ignore my parts. Only the other day my child part was triggered to a point of total dissociation and she has made it quite obvious that trying to live a "normal" life isn't possible....yet! I don't know what kind of dialogue I should be using with my parts to make them part of this healing process. Things have got very complicated again and that feeling of going insane (again) is here! A recent change in therapist is causing a lot of distress for all parts of me.
My previous therapist would intentionally trigger a very young part, who is much easier to be around. But one session he intentionally triggered a very angry part and he was put in his place real quick. That was the beginning of the end of working with that therapist. Its been a devastating experience.
So i just watched your video about integration and fusion - and then came back to this one. i do have a question/thought for pondering. If a person has DID and that means that they never integrated into one personality when young. Doesn't that mean 'all' of us are parts. You mentioned a part coming forward , and then leaving 'the person' sitting at the table. I know it's hard to describe and put into words but it is tricky.
@@thectadclinic Thankyou for answering to that. Some either argue that there is; or don't answer. My doctor and I talked about it alot - never really coming to a firm decision on it. I mean by definition you don't form a person due to abuse - and what if that abuse started really young. other people will read this so that's all i will say. It causes some interesting swings in processing. thankyou for your videos
I’ve never been able to plan for a return of a precise part forward before. Who come and for how long is something we can control. Even after 4 yrs of therapy with a specialist. Do you have trick?
Can I ask, you keep mentioning amnesia when people switch. Is it possible to switch and not have amnesia about it? I know I have more than one personality, but I also don't get amnesia. I do have a lot of memory loss dating back to my initial years of trauma from a baby upwards to around 18 years old, but less as I've got older and am understanding more of who/what I am. Thanks
@thectadclinic Thank you. I've had therapy in the past and been diagnosed with complex ptsd, depression and sone other things, due to severe childhood abuse, but no one has quite got everything right. I've always said that I am more than one person and I 'morph' depending on the situation I'm in, I was told this is a survival technique. The more I research though, the more I think have DiD
Building trust between parts (like building a close friendship or relationship with them) can really help with this. I was completely unaware of any of mine initially (there’s like 15-16 of us), so that was significant dissociation and no co-consciousness occurring. But, since my therapist and I have worked on building communication and trust as if we were separate people learning how to function as a family together, we’ve gradually become more and more co-conscious when switches happen.
Be patient, thoughtful and encouraging. Not being able to make decisions can be stressful, so find things that are not stressful to make decisions on (like what socks to wear!)
Therapists who refuse switching are adding to the shame and trauma. It shows their ignorance and really angers me. Thank you for what you do to educate both professionals and survivors.
We do try!
My parts are learning it's safe to come out and be themselves, which helps me realize it's safe to let them be parts of me, not independent, helpless little creatures. One of the things my therapist has done is helped me be able to acknowledge and then shepherd them back to a safe place when I need to go back to the adult world. Having someone else acknowledge and accept them, be willing to listen to them, is amazingly powerful. I've been able to talk about them with other therapists, but this guy now lets them talk directly, and that's made it okay to allow the underlying issues to be explored too.
Yeah therapy abuse is a bitch -.-
Kia ora from New Zealand coupd I please copy what you wrote to show my closest person in life who started encouraging mynparts to talk and it's exactly what you said they felt safe to come out to her and what you say sums up for me and what I have found the impact of her doing this has had for me she now gone a way so I felt a lot of my arts shit down won't come out to others thsnk you nga mihi Mich
I had met a new part who refused to let me tell my partner about them until my partner mentioned another of our parts and the new little realized that we don't have to hide from everyone. Now the little one loves to pop in and play around my partner and has helped other parts learn there are safe people who want to love them too 🥰💖
I'm getting better at negotiating with my 4 parts.
I can feel when a switch is about to happen, and I can prepare for it, usually by writing lists for the alter to look at. The last switch resulted in me switching back with a very clean fish tank.
It is still scary, and in dealing with it in real life, I do still feel ashamed. But I'm learning to trust my team so that when they step forward, we are all working together.
But this took over a year in intense therapy and its an ongoing process. My therapist was AMAZING and I cannot thank her enough.
Great video too!
So,pleased to read this positive experience. I hope the feeling of shame reduces for you.
Wow. I really wish my last therapist ever considered this. I'm starting therapy again with a new therapist and I'm very worried and scared because we have had horrible experiences with mental health professionals, and something particularly scary for us is either switch or dissociate IN session.
Our last therapist supposedly accepted and acknowledged our alters but when she invalidated one of our littles in front of their face while they finally felt safe to front in therapy, we couldn't take it anymore, we fired her. It was so painful and damaging for this particular little, they still ask sometimes if we believe they're real or not and they still get sad and confused about what happened. They feel so invalidated since then 🥺.
I really hope someday we find a good therapist that is willing to learn with us and won't rush, push, or invalidate us ever again.
We realized we were plural before we started any sort of therapy related to dissociation at all. Because we didn't have any therapists for dissociation at the time, we eventually decided to practice skills ourselves. One way we practiced things was when we had tea with multiple of us around (which was nearly every time), we would make one mug per part near the front (so usually 3 mugs of tea each time). Each of us would have tea from our own, personal, mug. It was a great way to practice switching in a safe environment (our own room in a safe house, which isn't necessarily something people have access to). The tea was a great way to practice grounding and each of us having our own mug created a sense of personal ownership as well. Thought we would share this sort of thing in case someone else might find it useful. We were probably really lucky that we were all really cooperative and mutually trusting, so it mightn't work for everyone, but it was really helpful for us
Thank you Dr. Mike! I really appreciate your devotion to the CPTSD and DID community. More people need to be educated about DID. My husband was diagnosed 13 years ago. We have had some serious ups and downs. They are the best! They have made incredible progress in managing their disorder, mostly due to online platform education like yours. Keep up the good work, we appreciate you.
Thank you so much. I a, really pleased you both have made so much progress, keep it up!
When I am with my therapist sometimes I feel parts want to talk to her but I feel shame so I do not tell her about this desire. Your video made me think and I like your approach. Thank you
Thanks for sharing!
If a therapist isn't skilled enough to get their client back into a self-state in which they can at least drive home or use public transportation to get home SAFELY, they have no business encouraging switching. A very skilled therapist knows how to structure/scaffold a therapy session, but an unskilled therapist can cause decompensation in a client with DID. How will you know if your therapist is skilled, or simply thinks they are? You ask them what their plan is, ask them what techniques they might use if things go south, and how they have decided that you have the ability to handle this in therapy. You ask a lot of questions that could put them on the defensive and you might in fact make them really uncomfortable. Not as uncomfortable as YOU will be if they can't help you leave the session in good shape. Be a very wise customer of services, and know that everyone inside will trust you more when you take care to do this wisely.
Unskilled therapists have no business offering services to people with such difficulties in their lives…but, many of us started out unskilled in dissociation but highly skilled in therapy. Sometimes the learning is done as a collaborative process. We all have to learn skills on the job, and many therapists get into this work because they encounter switching, and do an amazing job handling it. There are many differences in skill that can be factored in, but yes, encouraging and encountering can be quite different.
I’ve just discovered the organisation I’m having/had counselling with (for SA-traumas) exclusively use trainees. I’ve had to abruptly quit seeing my counsellor as she was being repeatedly ’abusive’ with whatever technique she used on me. I’m now stuck in an intensely angry state/alter, even after 4 weeks. I know counsellors have to start training somewhere, but they (or at least the trainee I was seeing) really don’t have the skills to support SA-trauma victims. It’s absolutely having the reverse effect of help that’s needed.
I’m 3 yrs into therapy, I am often able to bring forward specific parts or rather call for a volunteer to handle a certain task or to engage with other people. We have a sort of morning meeting where we plan what has to be done and who will take care of it. It really helps give me confidence that we can handle what the day has to throw us
Thank you for this video. You're right, there are far too many therapists who think that switching is always a bad thing. There are also a lot of people who misunderstand DID, and think that "on purpose" switching is not possible, that it only happens due to triggers that are out of our control. One thing I would add to this discussion is that it's important, when trying to switch on purpose, that we have the consent of both the alter going "in" and the one coming "out". The more we have mutual consent, the smoother the switch will go. This is why learning to communicate and cooperate with our system is essential. We have come a long way in learning to know when it would be beneficial for us to switch. The only times we have difficulty, usually, is when more than one alter wants to come out when things are going well, and there can be a conflict, which gives us a physical headache (what many systems call a "switching headache"). But we have learned that it helps to have a "gatekeeper" alter who can help resolve these sorts of conflicts.
Again, thank you for all of your efforts. There have been several of your videos that have shown, to me, that you really "get" DID a lot more than a lot of other clinicians.
Leyna
I won't allow anyone else to force my parts to be out/not be out. I don't want them to feel silenced again.
That should absolutely not be forced, ever.
Lol we had a psych tell us that interacting with the parts made it worse when host had already tried ignoring us for the previous ~5+ (miserable) years (i almost walked us out and we didn't go back). Fast forward to now, we got communication opened up and can function better as a team (we've also had ~20-25ish fusions which im sure she'd also be the sort to think final fusion was the only way while ironically working against that). Your channel has been a huge help btw, and in case we havent said before; thank you for making these available, theyve been very helpful in learning to understand ourselves.
You are very welcome!
Lovely video Mike, I am in therapy here in Norway for DID and I've shown my psychologist your videos :)
I am still pretty new in the process of DID therapy as it's rather newly discovered this year after 11 years in therapy.
Regarding the video, I am sometimes able to dissociate my body, I can't switch between alters deliberately but I can turn off temperature, pain and other bodily sensations completely. Turning them back on is another task entirely though hehe. But I can go "this is cold, hang on............ Ok now it isn't"
Sounds like you are learning a lot!!
On one side we have a huge sense of relief that we know switching will just happen when needed. We have trust in this, which has taken years to gain, but we now fully have that. On the downside of this, we went on a trip down home to say goodbye to some friends and so much switching happened that we lost chunks of time. Losing co-con when this happens is the booming tricky part of this. Thank you for all that you do 🦆
None of my switching happens in my daily life "when needed" and certainly not "on request", unless a therapist is present. Most of it happens when I cannot handle some conflict or emotion. It is a defense mechanism that has lost its value/benefit since the abuse has ended. And yes, losing time in daily life is very very damaging to our ability to function. So not a positive on any level to lose time.
6:15 confident to be present in uncomfortable places. Feel more control which transfers to confidence. Makes so much sense. May help unlock the memories that are locked away.
I'm still learning how to coax parts out. I had a previous therapist meet a part, acknowledge his presence, and then go on to say he has no say in how life goes, that he's essentially worthless and should just not come out under any circumstances. To boot, this wasn't a persecutor part; this was a caretaker kind of part. It's taken a few years to help undo that mindset for that part. I don't think some therapists realise the authority they may have in their clients' lives, you know what I mean? My current therapist is amazing, though, and has even invited alters to attend therapy, in like a written formal invitation. Still trying to help parts understand that an invitation is not a demand and they shouldn't feel obligated to "perform" or something if they really cannot, do not want to come out.
Thank you for these videos. Knowing you approach this condition with compassion and kindness is a relief.
This channel has been a blessing since we've recognized ourselves as a system
Glad it helps!
Functionality should be the aim, not normality.
If you tried to get someone with a limp to walk 🚶 normally, it will end up injuring them further and/or longer. However, if you just accept the limp and adapt around it, it is a mild inconvenience.
Mental health should operate the same way.
No physical therapist would not attempt to actively rehab someone with a limp, whether it be a congenital deformity, an acute injury, or a degenerative neuromuscular disorder. Imagine them NOT doing exercises to build strength and stability, but just saying "We will give you a cane and an orthotic for your shoe, go out there and adapt". Building distress tolerance through learning stabilization skills, and learning the healthy cognitive and interpersonal skills we couldn't acquire in our neglectful and abusive childhoods are OUR rehab.
They would not rehab them by making them walk 🚶 normally...
Which is my entire point.
@@Cathy-xi8cb
Yes!!!! Ty!!
Awesome video! We are four years into our therapy journey with DID and this idea of mastering dissociation and switching, while we found it really difficult at first, has absolutely been the most worthwhile thing we’ve worked on…it just makes everything so much easier and more clear…for us anyway. Hopefully someday this will be the go to norm for DID and OSDD treatment. Thank you for all you do to help that happen!
I totally agree!
It's hard to master but its a skill that you need with DID. I'm glad you are doing well :-)
Thank you, and keep it up!
Co-con… My most active and social part has gone quiet and I’m not sure what’s going on. So I’m kind of dealing with the opposite. She’s such a bright part of me and it might be strange to say but I miss her. I’ve been under a lot of family relational related stress right now so maybe she’s avoiding that.
Wow. I could've written that comment myself. Currently dealing with the same thing.
This is quite common, and I suspect your reasoning is correct. Be patient and hopefully she will find her way back.
@@thectadclinic thank you for responding. I appreciate you!
I know you left this comment a year ago, but I just want to say hang in there and I can relate. I had a beautiful creative writing part that also wanted to do poetry and I spent a year creating incredible things with her, then processing of trauma in another part took over for almost another year and I lost her, I thought, almost completely.
I’ve just started psychotherapy due to dissociation, derealization and depersonalization. Just started to talk about parts. I’ve been seeing the guy for a few months now and he is very capable at what he does and very perceptive. I think it was the first or second time I saw him before I even delved into the issue he spotted it, looked me deep in the eyes and said Sean, you are real 😅 so I am very confident in his ability. I have looked into this extensively with a lot of help from your channel. I am certain I have DID/OSDD because so much of what I have experienced over the years is explained by DID/OSDD. I haven’t experienced full amnesia, but I do experience switching between different parts/versions of myself with different views, opinions and perceptions of the world around me. I feel like 3 for these, myself, the protector and the child have been active my whole life. I’m only just starting to realize that they are not all ‘me’ (I know I am all of them, but subjectively at different moments/in different situations). But when I was at work after talking to him about dissociation and when I first started looking into this, for about 5-10 minutes one morning it felt like my mind was flicking through a flick book of different ‘personalities’ if this makes sense. I don’t know if it was many different versions of me or if the couple I am aware of were just having real mixed emotions about it and where switching rapidly 🤷♂️ so a video on how to induce switching would help me massively to try and understand the nature of the switching and if it’s only a few or a larger….‘audience’ 😅
I’d like to discuss with my therapist a little more down the line when he understands the nature of my trauma better on trying to contact other parts. Oh….I tried the leaving a note trick at the start of this. I left a note on a box of Lego, saying you are safe in this body, no one will hurt you, I’d like to make contact. That evening I remembered the name of a film I obsessively watched as a child and I’ve been trying to remember for years 😅 so thank you for that. I feel parts are ready to come forward they are just a little apprehensive/not sure how to yet.
Many thanks for taking the time to make these videos, they have helped me massively 🙏
You are so welcome, the mention of the note on the box of Lego really made me smile, having been a big Lego fan when younger. Keep up the great work!
My girlfriend has, so far, 5 or 6 different identities, and it can be so difficult to understand who is in control at any one moment, as several of her identities are very similar, with only small differences. Some of them, like her child-self, and the one that gets really angry are easier to discern, but it's very hard sometimes. A couple of them are starting to give themselves different names though, which helps a bit. The amnesia thing is the biggest problem. I will be having a conversation with her, that can be quite long and involved, and then she'll switch and whoever takes over will have had no idea what we were talking about, and I'll have to try and recount everything that was said.
We switch in therapy and our psychiatrist doesn’t mind but she encourages us to do it if it happens . It helps our alters get therapy and our alters have to feel comfortable with the therapist to do this. Our current therapist is amazing. Good video Dr.Mike your amazing ❤
Glad you are working with such a helpful person!
@@thectadclinic yes it took us a while to find the right therapist here in the northwest of the United States.
A really helpful video Mike. Thankfully we have a therapist that (most) parts are almost bursting to talk to. My challenge is being able to ‘master’ as you say the process of switching. We really need help with becoming co-conscious it’s just not happening and I’m also confused as to whether co-con isn’t necessarily ‘safe’ as we worry we will then be overwhelmed with one another’s emotions / memories. A video about the ‘how to’ of becoming co-con with parts so you can switch back without someone externally doing it (ie our therapist knows how to get me back)
I could really really really do with allowing safe switches in every day life as I am exhausted from masking and could do with help from other parts!
I feel I am in exactly the same situation as you Amanda, I’m aware of my parts and some of their needs but being able to communicate and control switching is just not happening!
That's hard to make as a general one - your therapist can certainly help with this, if they can do it, you can!
The differentiation between parts is a result of different life experiences.
Sharing life experiences means parts will grow through life together.
I'm new to therapy and recently diagnosed with did. It's all really scary to me, but knowing that it can be more in my control feels reassuring and hopeful. Thanks for the sensitive, informative videos
I hope it all goes well. I was diagnosed over a year ago and I promise you, it will get easier.
This is a lovely post, thank you. I hope you continue to do well!
This makes so much sense. Thank you once again. I am however puzzled about the question: when am I not dissociating. It is as degrees of dissociation. Switching, déréalisation depersonalization feeling numb, being a head without a body is dissociation. But I feel like the times I/we are not dissociating is when we all are calm and present inside without being controlled back to "prison" And for that we need to be alone in a safe place.
I only recently discovered this channel but I do have a question. My ‘part’ (haven’t gotten a diagnosis yet) doesn’t always switch when there’s a trigger, she just simply want to front. I’m unsure whether if that’s even possible
that was a really valuable content for us. now I understand a lot more, why the therapist bevor didn't help a lot and the one now already did with so few settings. before we had one, who always wanted us to avoid switches, now we just are welcome to be there as we are. and indeed it feels so much safer going there.
thank you for that video ❤
Your videos are wonderfully clear and informative, thank you. My very oldest and dearest friend is coming to grips with some form of dissociative experience. She says she's received a diagnosis for a dissociative disorder, but at other times says that's not so (not sure if this would be denial or anasognosia etc). My question is this: regularly, she remembers me saying or doing things that she is in fact the one having said or done. I've observed it for a long while now and it's definitely a pattern. I wonder if it's possible that she has internalized me as an alter, somehow? Or maybe she's not aware of switching and remembers that 'the other person' said this or that, and if I'm present, she thinks the other person is me? Do you have experience with something like this?
Thank you! Your friend’s experience sounds more like amnesia than thinking you could be an alter!
I'm 55 and just in the last year coming to the realization that I've pretty heavily dissociated for most of my life. And that most people don't hear voices in their head - I always thought that was the 'inner voice' that people always talk about. Communication is extremely limited and not up to me. I wondered if you might be able to provide some information about this stage of things? For those who dissociate their dissociation/parts etc?
It’s also like the fear of actually existing. The fear of being present and within my body, fear of life and being acknowledged. The fear of being real
Question....since this is different for everyone....is it possible for a system to be fully co-conscious?
thank you. all your videos are very good, this has been the best and most helpful video yet. thank u
Sharing this as well. Very good video.😊
We have been taking turns with fronting while our host is processing a trauma from last month. Bev trusts us to take care of things and we don’t take that lightly.
How important is it to 'allow' switches to take place outside of therapy in a safe environment?
Very important as a way of negotiating the world safely, with understanding and agency. It isn’t always easy, though.
Therapists who don’t “allow” switching in sessions should lose their licenses! I’m so sick of their ignorant, incorrect views. It’s truly enraging! These alters are not made up characters. They are necessary aspects of the personality that cannot be subtracted. These aspects need to discuss their trauma. Mental health professionals can be so frustrating!
@DIDHatchery .. Oh no, consider finding a new therapist. Don't waste more of *your* valuable life (time and money and emotions) with someone who is not a good fit. (Therp could wind up abusing your alters, and if you have issues where not all your alters are co-conscious, a bad therapist could cause more injury.
Take excellent care of all of You. 💕
These videos are very helpful, thank you.
When my psychologist addresses our system I panic, when they ask me if another alter wants to step forward... it's like there is so much inside chatter happening then she says that and its silence and i feel them pull away.
But i dont feel ill ever get control of my dissociation.
Thank you for the good work. Can you make a video on that people with complex-trauma and DID have the high risk of falling into trauma again and again and again in their adult live and how this works?
that's a good idea!
@@thectadclinic Looking forward to it! 🌷
Can i ask, why some systems keep switching every couple of minutes, regardless of the situation?
Se here
I am struggling with switching especially in therapy and have no ability to be able to switch back or be in control. I have two parts who can manage things and get us home safely but I am unable to be present most of the time when switches happen and I am stuck here unable to make any changes and I am frustrated.
Thanks Dr Mike 🙏🏻
My pleasure!
Thank you very helpful!
Glad it was helpful!
It took us 2 years to build up the trust to bring some parts into the therapy room and now I have just started seeing a new therapist. We are really anxious about this new transition in therapy and the building of trust to happen all over again. Having to go over everything again from my childhood is not something I want to really do again but I understand that it is necessary for my new therapist .Are there any tips or advice you can share about starting with a new therapist?
Thank you 🙏
Sounds like a good idea for another video!
Wonderful question!!!
@@thectadclinicAs I work through seeing my responses to stress and slowly start to be independent and trying to have a "normal" life for myself, I have a deep sense that while doing this I start to ignore my parts. Only the other day my child part was triggered to a point of total dissociation and she has made it quite obvious that trying to live a "normal" life isn't possible....yet! I don't know what kind of dialogue I should be using with my parts to make them part of this healing process. Things have got very complicated again and that feeling of going insane (again) is here! A recent change in therapist is causing a lot of distress for all parts of me.
This is lovely and reassuring video, thank you.
You are so welcome!
My previous therapist would intentionally trigger a very young part, who is much easier to be around. But one session he intentionally triggered a very angry part and he was put in his place real quick. That was the beginning of the end of working with that therapist. Its been a devastating experience.
Really sorry to hear that, it can happen with such parts but experience helps as manage even angry parts as they are often just trying to protect.
So i just watched your video about integration and fusion - and then came back to this one. i do have a question/thought for pondering. If a person has DID and that means that they never integrated into one personality when young. Doesn't that mean 'all' of us are parts. You mentioned a part coming forward , and then leaving 'the person' sitting at the table. I know it's hard to describe and put into words but it is tricky.
That’s a big topic, sometimes there is a ‘person’, sometimes there isn’t.
@@thectadclinic Thankyou for answering to that. Some either argue that there is; or don't answer. My doctor and I talked about it alot - never really coming to a firm decision on it. I mean by definition you don't form a person due to abuse - and what if that abuse started really young. other people will read this so that's all i will say. It causes some interesting swings in processing. thankyou for your videos
True and real
Can the different parts be so similar to not be obvious?
Indeed they can.
I’ve never been able to plan for a return of a precise part forward before. Who come and for how long is something we can control. Even after 4 yrs of therapy with a specialist. Do you have trick?
I guess we are able to achieve this with timing and experience.
Can I ask, you keep mentioning amnesia when people switch. Is it possible to switch and not have amnesia about it? I know I have more than one personality, but I also don't get amnesia. I do have a lot of memory loss dating back to my initial years of trauma from a baby upwards to around 18 years old, but less as I've got older and am understanding more of who/what I am. Thanks
@@juebev6487 yes, absolutely. It is part of the therapy to move people towards not having amnesia for switching, so if you know, that is positive!
@thectadclinic Thank you. I've had therapy in the past and been diagnosed with complex ptsd, depression and sone other things, due to severe childhood abuse, but no one has quite got everything right. I've always said that I am more than one person and I 'morph' depending on the situation I'm in, I was told this is a survival technique. The more I research though, the more I think have DiD
Is there anyway to help to become co-con?After several years of therapy we are still not co-con and find it very distressing.
Building trust between parts (like building a close friendship or relationship with them) can really help with this. I was completely unaware of any of mine initially (there’s like 15-16 of us), so that was significant dissociation and no co-consciousness occurring.
But, since my therapist and I have worked on building communication and trust as if we were separate people learning how to function as a family together, we’ve gradually become more and more co-conscious when switches happen.
@@Elya08 Thank you.
This makes sense.
If our front person is having a hard time, others will take over so she can be inside where it's less stressful.
Pleaae what can we do when altters cant made a decisión
Argue with each other like any other dysfunctional family?
What else is there to do, anyway?
Be patient, thoughtful and encouraging. Not being able to make decisions can be stressful, so find things that are not stressful to make decisions on (like what socks to wear!)
@@thectadclinic 🙏🙏🙏
I guess my fear of sharing an alter is what if this person is absolutely horrid? I don't want my therapist to hate me afterwards lol
❤
During this video I felt like something was happening inside me..
Promo SM 🔥