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Thank you for talking about this topic. You have given me a perspective on obsession I didn't have before, that it's a symptom of something deeper. I'm 27 and most of my life I have spent being obsessed with something-I may stick with an obsession for months or years, then without notice, will move on to something else. I felt like it was part of who I am. I had a few embarrassing obsessions with either real life men, or with certain celebrities, I recall listening to Alice in chains everyday for 3 years and learning everything about that band and boring all my friends to death with trivia. I've been obsessed with Kurt cobain, James Dean, etc. I was obsessed with my drumming teacher for a while, then a guy in a band I was in. The first hardcore obsession happened when I was 16 on this gothy boy in my class, and I recall around the same week it started my dad had a heart attack and was admitted to hospital. (I'm very close with him) my intense Alice in chains obsession started when I was in my final year of university and also my first time living alone and was so stressed out and coping I would pace back and forth in my room for hours a day, listening to music, getting lost in my head, and going to bed at 9 am. Just over 2 years ago, a long term relationship ended that I didn't want to and my somewhat absent minded, lukewarm and small collection of small crystals turned into a full-blown hardcore, daily obsession. My collection is huge now, well over 300. I have learnt all the locales, chemical make up, metaphysical meaning, and any other trivia about hundreds of minerals. I'm now in a stable happy relationship with my current partner (we're getting married) and I have a nice job and my interest in crystals has waned in recent months. I used to think I had some degree of being on the AS spectrum, but may be it's just a coping mechanism since childhood. I had a traumatic, abusive, neglected childhood (I thought what I'd lived was normal until a few years ago) and I recall pacing back and forth talking to myself when I felt anxious and unsafe... Sometimes I wonder, I try and find out who I really am. When I'm in the throes of an obsession, I feel like it's my true self. But when I'm out, I know that isn't true. I don't know my authentic self. What is my true self and what is just a coping mechanism for inner turmoil? My personality has never felt solid. I feel like I could change with the wind, I used to hate that, that other people were solid and knew themselves their dislikes, their strengths, but in starting to view objectively that may be my fluidity is something to be celebrated. I can choose to be what I like, that I'm not limited. As soon as I try to define myself, I trap myself, and my authenticity eludes me. It's like I can only be, intellectually to define myself would be false. I feel scared, that I may not have a purpose, I always wanted to understand myself on a core, soul level. That everyone has one. I just don't feel I have a true stable internal core. This is a strange thing to say but recently I've been so drawn to reading fiction and through understanding and relating to characters it helps me to understand myself and build the identity I want to be at that time by taking bits of the characters I like... I feel chaotic on the inside whilst externally people think I have it together... I think a lot of people are like that, we're all pretending we know what we're doing but on the inside we're all screaming and running round hoping we're doing the right thing!
This video is kinda old but after watching some videos from this channel I can say this type of content really worth it, I need more content like this in UA-cam.
Man, your videos are like looking at a mirror. I identified so much to the situations you've been through, and it made it a lot easier for me to understand the concepts of many videos - anger repression, obsession, trauma, etc. Outstanding work.
I had an unconscious obsession due to an extremely young childhood trauma. When I had my awakening experience it revealed the core of my dreams/plans/business etc and everything was as you’ve described here. I spent 2 years untangling myself and STILL this illusionary Tale can hook me. The individual is a real person but it’s like you said, the unraveling was so “real” but the truth is - it was integrating Unconscious illusions and shadow. I have been doing these steps and their reflection set me on a new course for sure. I appreciate you!!
The Diamond Net Thank you. This has saved me so many trips to a psychologist lol. But honestly all of your videos have been so very helpful to me. Glad I came across your page.
As always, another insightful, wonderful video! You do an amazing job taking a specific subject and making it so relatable & understandable! You could say I have a sight "obsession" with your videos, LoL, just kidding! But in all seriousness, keep up the brilliant work and keep those videos coming! ;-)
When I was a teenager, I spent years in therapy to deal with depression, it did not work. I think in order for a person to get their life in order, they need to do a lot of the work themselves, but we do not always know HOW to get our life in order. I appreciate this video, there is a lot of good advice. My obsession was reading (I used to spent a lot of time reading alone, maybe uncommon, but that was my thing to do). I spent years obsessing about getting good grades in school and then college. It did not even matter if I had a reason as to why school was important. Looking back, I can see, it was all rooted in that I spent a lot of time alone, and reading was this thing I spent all my time doing (I grew up in a dysfunction household, reading was my escape). I finally realized, the real problem was how I perceived things. You cannot change your entire thought process over night, there is a lot of wisdom in really questioning why we do something.
Thank you for your candor. You've helped me understand the obsessive behavior pattern that I have. I have had all sorts of obsessions throughout my life though thankfully they're not long-lived, lasting at most 1 - 2 month periods. All those obsessions had to do with something that I perceived to be missing from my life and that I felt would make my life substantially better or more comforting. For example currently I'm trying to adopt a dog and I'm obsessed with a particular dog because I feel that he's the perfect dog for me and I can see myself cuddling and playing and being happy with this dog everyday. This is the fantasy. It stems from the fact that I live a high-pressure life and most people around me don't offer the emotional support that I seek. I dream of a big fluff to help me compensate for the lack of companionship, physical and emotional comfort in my daily life.
Why do we have obsessions? We do not embrace the reality as it as and not the force of life takes its own course and hence we engage in controlling in reality which leads to suppression and that suppression leads to piling up of suppressed emotions and those supressed emotions plus thought=obsession. Thoughts are never intrusive unless it is associated with suppressed emotions. Infact, if u see any other mental illness and psychological suffering the whole human kind is enduring, it is due to not aligning with the force of life or not being 'Just Being'. The moment u lead the force of life operates all the useless things starts leaving away spontaneously and only thing remains which is real 'YOU" and that's called enligtenment or the state of ultimate bliss, peace etc.
Thank you so much for this. I never realized how disposed I was to obsessions until a recent interaction with a guy that kind of broke me. I was just looking at how bad of a person I must be, not look at what is telling me.
I'm stuck thinking about this girl for 6 years now, soon to be 7 and it's tearing my life apart from the inside. Despite the fact that she lives on another city and has a boyfriend. I'm constantly in a state of civil war with my self and my thoughts. I'm trying everything to overcome it, that's how I discovered Carl Jung and by searching on his name on youtube - I discovered you. But my thoughts are not pleasant in any way unlike you stated, they cause hoplessness, sensation of defeat, anger, depression, suicidal thoughts, dark heavy feelings. They only stoped once in 2011 when I discovered God and had peace in my life for a short time, but soon after doubts in Gods existence struck my life destroying all peace I had. I studied theology, christian apologetics, church history afterwards - philosophy, now I'm reading Jung and things he talks about. Thought I'll bring back that religious experience but in 2015 december my faith in christianity collapsed. I'm looking for inner strength, looking for ways to forget that girl and move on. My life is in stagnation, I'm traped in my inner world like you said in the video. I feel like I'm out of options.
Actually, your experiences sort of sound quite a bit like mine. Though I have worked through the issues for the most part. About 7 years ago, my life went into a complete upheaval and I developed a romantic obsession with a married man who was much older than me to cope with it. Thinking of him and being around him was really the only outlet that I had for feeling happiness and relief, despite not knowing him very well back then and being his student. But I was in complete resistance to my obsession too. It's difficult to have an obsession because it's so taboo and embarrassing yet you want to make the best impression possible on that person. But then you just come off as completely desperate, needy, and creepy. I too found Jungian Psychology because of this obsession because I had this deep feeling (despite my resistance) that there was something psychologically and spiritually significant about my fixation on him. I recognized after the first 6 months of being completely deluded by the content of my obsession that he was a projection screen for something else inside of me. But this didn't take away the deep feeling of rejection, not being good enough... as though my worth as an individual fell short of deserving his attention, admiration, and love. Even though he's a great person and never attempted to do anything but help me, never balked at me, and of course would never cheat on his wife or take advantage of someone psychologically vulnerable. But there was this horrible feeling of being rejected and not valued or even not attractive/feminine enough for him, despite knowing that this was not based in reality. I eventually recognized that he was the projection screen for my Animus, which I had recently disowned. Since my life went into upheaval, my identity took many blows. I went from having a highly individuated ego, to losing grip of myself and my individuality. So, because of this losing grip, my Animus had become disintegrated from the rest of my being. So, this man became irresistible to me because being around him or thinking about him was the only time that I got to feel a connection with this part of myself. So, there's a chance that your obsession springs from a dis-integrated Anima. Actually, your message comes synchronistically, as my next video will be about the Anima and the Animus. But you may want to look up the concept in the interim and see if it's helpful. At any rate, I still have some minor residual effects of this obsession. Every few weeks, I'll have a day where I start to think of him and feel a little weepy, despite being happily married. If I happen to see him, the day will be a little rougher for me as it will remind me of my disintegration. But this is just an indicator that I still have to re-integrate some aspects of my Animus. So, I see it as a positive thing as it's the closest thing to a clear roadsigns to a path that typically has no roadsigns. The Anima and Animus in their fully integrated forms are the mediators between the conscious and the unconscious mind. This is where the spiritual significance comes in because these archetypes bring the healing to you, so to speak.
Thank you for responding. I'm sorry for what happened to you, that's a really tough situation especially when you are married. On the other hand this experience made you look for answers, that's why you know so much about these matters and are able to help people in similar situations. "he was a projection screen for something else inside of me."; "I eventually recognized that he was the projection screen for my Animus" those are exactly my thoughts but as you said, knowing this fact does not solve the problem. I also should mention that I fell in love with that girl in a dream that I had at night from february 5 to 6, 2010. So I look at it as a direct intervention of the unconscious, various synchronistic events took place in my life around that time that led me to that situation. Before this unrequited love, I had a very negative outlook on romatnic relationships, sexuality. I repressed all psychic content of this nature and maybe that's why it came back to me with such a huge, destructive force. However, despite the fact that since then I accepted romantic love as one of the most beautiful things in life and admited it's value, my problems haven't stoped. Maybe my anima became my enemy for some reason, I don't know. When I saw the title of this video I thought it will talk about OCD which is another problem I had. I had a horrible irrational fear of becoming a homosexual (people refer to this as HOCD) soon after I had my first doubts in God's existence in 2011. I managed to fight this fear by using it's own weapons against it (one guy on the web gave a strategy against it: basically, if I were gay I would not experience negative emotions durring the OCD attacks, I would enjoy all those thoughts and flashes in my mind, but discust in them proved my heterosexuality) but HOCD was never completely defeated, it still bugs me from time to time but at a controlable level. So you read this comment right on time, huh? That's interesting. Looking forward to your future videos on animus, anima and everything else. Will you ever talk about jungian interpretation of alchemy? That would be pretty cool because I don't know much about it. Carl Jung was very interested in gnosticism, alchemy and their relationship to psychology. Would be interesting to hear your thoughts about these matters :) btw you have my sub :D
Actually, this happened right before my husband and I met. I met him shortly after I began to realize the projection-nature of my fixation, when my obsession began to lose steam a bit. So, it didn't interfere in an extreme way in our relationship. It could be also that you're approaching your Anima on the level of intellect instead of on the level of feeling. I did this for many years myself immersing myself in psychological theory and intellectual understanding of my feelings but never being able to 'understand' enough to reintegrate my feelings. So, you have a clear understanding but may not have made the actual mind/body connection on the emotional level to your Anima requires. You can do this by paying attention to the sensations in your body that come up as emotions happen. This will move your focus from the level of thought, understanding, and intellect to the level of emotions, unconscious, and the wisdom of the body. Also, if you're experiencing fear relative to homosexuality, you'll want to look at that. This could be indicative of fear of and resistance to your feminine side. This in itself could create an Anima possession and projection situation as the Yin in you has no other outlet for expression. So, cultivating Yin qualities that are un-developed in you could help tremendously. Look no further than the object of your obsession. Try to emulate the qualities in her that occur most naturally to you. But I will definitely be sharing more on Jungian Psychology, Alchemy, and other related topics in the future. It's quite fascinating.
What is anima possesion? I've heard this term before but I don't know what it is exactly. What happens when a guy gets "anima possesed"? It's interesting how you linked the HOCD with the girl I mentioned, it gave me food for thought. I had thought that those things might be linked but I could never figure out how. Yes, I noticed that I had been supressing feminine side in myself most of my life and this is probably how it gets back to me. Emulate undeveloped qualities which the object of my obsession posses? I'll need to think about that.. Well, lately I've been trying to observe my emotions, my dreams and all other irrational, autonomous phenomena occuring in my mind but it changes nothing. Not yet at least.
Tadas Jakubauskas Anima possession is what happens when the Anima is under-developed or can't get expression somehow. So, the feminine Yin traits in a man, if suppressed get projected out onto women or a particular woman. There is a sense that this woman or these women have control. It also becomes part of the shadow and hijacks the personality by presenting itself as sexual obsession, possessiveness, lack of creative insight, spinelessness, lack of direction, passivity, moodiness, sulkiness, self-doubt, and a sense of going around and around in life. Basically, the shadow feminine takes over where the healthy feminine should be.
Emerald , can you talk about disadvantages of enlightenment , and disadvantages of mastery of the mind ??? i think some of us never fight to keep anything or anyone in our life for too long, and its really bad... (((
I had an intense relationship that went well for a month and then went downhill for a month. I think it was an obsession for both of us. Anyway it has been about a month since we went our separate ways, but I feel like I'm still obsessed. No matter how preoccupied, busy, etc I am, she keeps appearing in my thoughts on some abstract level. How do you deal with obsessions that have become extremely negative? Until I started taking antidepressants again, I was having numerous mood swings every day that were mostly beyond my control. Occasionally mindfulness exercises gave me some relief but that was it.
I'm glad that it's helpful. :) Do keep in mind though, that my information isn't derived from psychological theories that have been studied from a sample of the population, repeated and written about. My information in this video is based upon my own experience with obsession and observing it as an internal phenomenon. So, it wouldn't be a credible source to use for a research paper or anything like that. But it should be helpful for understanding any obsession you might have crop up or to understand someone you know with obsessive tendencies.
When a obsession is light and flies around you bringing some pleasure, it feels good to have it with you. To me it is like looking to a mirror that distorts the image. It sometimes brings a pleasing fantasy to your world. Other times it just looks real and boring. I enjoy watching my projections, as long as they do not become harmful. Can you actually live not projecting on other people/objects? As you say, they contain messages about your subconscious mind.
Projection will likely always happen, unless the ego is transcended permanently. However, it's important to be able to see projections for what they are, without distortion. That way, they will be less likely to fool you into believing in a distorted version of reality. It's in the ability to see through illusion, that comes expansion in awareness and a greater sense of embodying this reality as well. But obsession is just a really really strong projection, that the mind creates to cope with negative situations, by creating a reality that is somehow more pleasant where better emotions can be felt or where things make more sense.
im obsessed wit hurricanes. actually when i get into something i have a one track mind and i tend to obsess on whatever it is i am currently interested in.
When i try stopping my thoughts, i also stop breathing. I also linger on the last syllable of my last thought. Very quite thoughts hum in the background still, however they are observational thoughts picking up details in my surroundings. The brain sure is unstoppable.
Heyy..Thanx so so much. For the insight.. And.. just all of it (including your calm and kind manner). I had recognized the cause, and the cycles for myself but ascribed meaning to it... That its unbreakable for a reason, this person and no other : for a reason (aka mysterious, unknowable, something of love beyond understanding), and never put the whole together the way you understand it. I am sure the exercises you mentioned will help. So thanx again. Here but is some food for thought (trying to navigate): If you grant that people have a 'type', and understand - once you look deeper- that they are determined by their experiences - fulfilling lacks and sometimes repeating early familiar patterns. Yet these choices are very much validated (unless of course if you are repeating an abusive pattern). Then is their indeed something about the choice of your obsession. As in, need it be entirely imaginary, as in, many of us would obsess over people we know.. Like an ex (like me.. Ha!). Given absolutely though that obsession by its nature is intense and unhealthy and can have you stranded, and thereby its the best advice to look at it closely and understand the real underlying issues, but, does it necessarily follow 'get away, not the person for you'!? The question being, does a obsession always entail a misreading of the person's attributes. And does then the injunction 'get away' apply. Bluntly put.. Can not the obsession mean you want 'the attributes of the person itself..rather than imaginary ones'. Aka the intensity of the need to be questioned, but need the placement always? Also, does not 'love' many times involve an element of obsession and hankering. By this logic, Can all major eulogized romantic sagas (with extreme shows and confessions of attachment) be reduced to an imbalanced need??
I'm obsessed with someone because they are gone on a vacation and i wish i was and this is what I'm going to write when she gets back i missed you so much that ive couldnt sleep and ive been having dreams about you and i was crying about you too
very true. It happens when your life became not normal as it used to be, MIndfullness exercises are very useful. You have described obsession in detail. Why in obsession the obsessed person think of the object that he or she thinks the same way. Is it true or just a fantasy.
A lot of times, people (obsessed and not) can fall into the trap of believing that the other person thinks the same way as they do. They think that their projection is true, and that everyone has the same conception of reality. Also, for someone who is obsessed, they may have a higher degree of emotional attachment than the average person, to the idea that others think the same way as them.
Great topic, it makes perfect sense actually. I never actually went deep on what the phenomenon is. I was actually curious on what your opinion is on flow states and the psychology behind creativity. I've been dealing with trying to get back on track with writing music but I can never get that burning desire to write again, it feels like a chore now. I wonder if I should stop for a while or do something different... What do you do if you get in these situations? Do you take a rest from the activity in total? ~Thx
+Vincent Musanti I've experienced this a lot. I went to art school and had identified myself as an artist for the greater part of a decade. So, I was always beating myself up over not creating after I graduated. But I had to ask myself why I was beating myself up, and found that I had no genuine desire to create because it was being choked out by the "I should be" thoughts. My ambitions had usurped my inspiration. My advice is to be mindful of the resistance you have, because it could be life pushing you in a completely different direction or it may just be life getting you to examine your hidden unhelpful beliefs in relation to creating. For me, I realized that artwork wasn't what wants to come out anymore, and that my real desire is to share my insights. As far as flow goes, think of that state as the conscious and subconscious mind working in effortless unison to manifest an idea into the world. But if the subconscious mind don't want to cooperate with making music, try to find something that it does want to cooperate with.
I had obsessions on and off with different people over the years and there ended up in tears.this obsession I got now is a forma actress from the 70es and I tuck a shine to her.today she allmost 69 years old.I found her on facebook I started pestering her which got me blocked it upset me I wanted to stop.but I couldent.I hate getting like this it's just not healthy it's bad I I don't like it.
The main thing is to understand that the fixation comes form your projection onto her and not the woman herself. It creates an illusion like getting a relationship to a particular person is going to give you the thing you're searching for. But it won't. The only way to get what you're searching for is to actually realize that they are just the blank screen for your projection, and that the projection consists of things that you need to realize within yourself, be it shadow material or unrealized potentials.
Emerald, I have a chemical imbalance with an over active brain, when I am in the midst of an obsession it is hard to be honest with myself and say this is only an obsession I am having with this woman, so I watched a video of Teal Swan, were I don't go into her space so I did this then she started coming into my space, another friend of me said to let go of the story in your head that you and her are going to be together and it worked...any other tips from you would be awesome.
Obsessions at some part of our lives seems like some thing most people go through like periods of depression but there are others that are more prone to it. Would you your self say you are one of those people that are prone to obsessions.
+youngatnaruto I would say that I'm probably more prone to obsession than most people because I have a tendency to get lost in thought a lot. That said, as long as my life conditions are stable, I'm highly unlikely to experience it especially now that I realize that an obsession is thought addiction. It helps frame the obsession in a more beneficial light, so I don't get caught in thought loops as easily.
Yuriria Harris I agree. There is no such thing as a positive or negative trait. It's how you apply the trait in life that counts. Obsessive tendencies are no different. I should have mentioned in the video to find a healthy outlet for obsessive tendencies in the list. The type of obsession I was referring to was the kind that breaks you off of life and keeps you in your head and unproductive. As long as an obsession yields you benefit in your life, there is no need to try to choke it out simply on the basis that it's an obsession.
hi emerald your a gorgeous person, love your vids, just wondering if YOU can quiet your thoughts, I can recommend meditation, focused Breathing, and perhaps some mdma in a therapeutic situation.I had loud thoughts for years and now after lots of hard work, man, a silent mind is a beautiful thing.
Hmmm this was very helpful, but there is still a lot I have yet to understand. With my obsession it primarily happened in middle through High school. I had an abusive home and pain in relation primarily with my father. Once I graduated I took a gap year and basically let go of that object of my obsession and really did a lot of inner healing and work. Now I am talking to the object of my obsession again but the initial pain is healed, I think that it is just being triggered again. The biggest pain has to do with being strong in my perspective/identity and not getting lost in what others think. Outwardly I am very normal with the person I have liked, inwardly I am still struggling. In a sense I think that it is good that it is making me face it head on, I know now that it is all an illusion, I just have yet for the emotions to follow. Do you think it is possible to have a romantic relationship with them but get passed the old obsession? or is that just the hard way of going about it? (btw currently they know that I like them, but my plan is to stay platonic at least for now, idk how they feel about me but generally I dont think that they know who I am)
+Mirra Hays My recommendation is to really understand what the obsession gives to you emotionally. I spoke of positive emotions in the video but that is very general. Figure out exactly which emotions are being triggered. In my obsessions, I had a habit of daydreaming and fantasizing about them a lot. If you have these same patterns, I'd find a place to write them down in detail that no one else will read. Afterward, go back and dissect them for different meanings and themes, just as you would treat a work of literature. Be mindful of your emotions, and where you feel them in your body sensation-wise. Allow everything that comes up without judgement. In relation to not getting lost in what others think, I share the same pattern. One theme, in my fantasies has been about talking to my object of obsession with them listening with curiosity and interest almost like a counselor, only responding to ask more questions or express their interest in what I'm saying. So, my fantasy, once I became really conscious to the details of it made me realize that I want to be heard. Pay attention to the little details too. Like many of my fantasies occurred in the same location. So, I could think of all my associations with that location to find that I associate that place with freedom. But don't try to realize a relationship with your object of obsession until the obsession itself is resolved. It will likely bring about more pain. But if most of your unhealed wounds come from your relationship with your father, it is likely that you're trying to avoid the uncomfortable emotions associated with that by focusing on the obsession. So, counter-intuitively, you must let those negative emotions really hit you. When you resist an emotion it stays with you and causes issues (like obsession and other complexes). I will leave a link to a couple videos in relation to emotional healing below. They both give practical ways to process through emotions, from two very different vantage points.
+The Diamond Net "How to Deal with Strong Negative Emotions" by Actualized.org ua-cam.com/video/l96TZeZGlDg/v-deo.html and "How to Heal the Emotional Body" by Teal Swan ua-cam.com/video/c3V_Gtfr_YA/v-deo.html
Alright, thank you! you are a very under-appreciated UA-camr! and I have done work like this especially associated with my father. He has hurt me even deeper than my challenges now, so I have come far. I feel that I have healed my pain specifically with him, at least the deepest parts. Now I am left with a more surface level pain, and my old habits are showing their heads again despite my new knowledge. I do really well on my own, I took a gap year to dedicate to self-development. But recently I have been branching into more outer experiences (relationships and college) and it's like I have hit another level like in a video game where there is exceedingly harder bad guys for my current level :P. Now not only do I have to show myself who I am and accept it, but to also do it with others and to stay solid despite opinions. I have no examples of this in family, so I am my own teacher. I will be sure to try your recommended activity and watch those videos! :D Thank you.
You say an obsession is some thing mostly normal people go through but how do you know that whether you are a person with an addictive personality. Can part of it be genetics or has anything to do with having multiple fixed signs in your chart.
+youngatnaruto I would imagine that there's a genetic component to being predisposed to addiction, when it comes to people who experience obsessions. However, when a person has a psychiatric disorder that predisposes them to chronic obsession, this is indicative of chemical imbalance that may be best remedied through therapy and other psychiatric treatments. But when a person experiences an occasional obsession, this can likely be attributed to an avoidance of life situations that have become too emotionally difficult to engage with. It is like self-medication using one's own neuro-chemicals.
+youngatnaruto But ironically, as a Taurus born in the year of the Snake (ground snake as opposed to fire, water, or air) all of these are fixed signs that have a lot to do with groundedness, stubbornness, and stability. So, no wonder I've had obsessions. :)
The Diamond Net Well although I have my sun sign in Mutable Air Gemini I have a Fixed ascendant Aquarius,Fixed Mars Taurus sign,Fixed scorpio Jupiter,fixed moon,Fixed scorpio North and south node and they all are in opposite position from my mars sign the descriptions I read seem to match me perfectly partly explains why I loved wrestling/fighting so much it was an outlet it made me feel alive despite all the times I got badly hurt and injured some thing kept reeling me back in I still love it but Im not as entrenched in it as I once was but I notice whether it was people or objects I always traded obsessions for one over the other it was violent sports ie fighting/football to several people to over excersizing - these past couple days I went over the nornal amount of time I jump rope I usually do 1500 per day but I have been doing about 4500-6000 and I usually do it for an hour straight with only 15 second rests in between after I am done it gives me a slight euphoria can obsessions be bad if they are providing a benefit Im losing weight very quickly and as I look in the mirror I see Im developing my abs again. .On the surface it seems like I don't have an obsessions but it's all locked away in a box some where metaphorically speaking emotionally vacant so this is my way of feeling alive I guess, although earlier in my youth I had obsessions/addictive personality but they weren't from me being emotionally vacant.I would maybe attribute this to getting hit in the head several times but they were there before that, does it seem like people with fixity some times try to be too serious when it is not needed true story I remember being young as three falling off a couple of brick stairs and cutting my face with a razor bleeding but not crying although I would cry over small things like not being feed I always felt it would be embarassing to do so it wasn't nothing any one ingrained in me it was just my own thoughts.Do we people who have too much fixity just need a stable amount of activity in our life and if we dont it turns into obssessions kind of like people with adhd they need a certain amount of mental stimulation ironically I have been diagnosed with that as well.
youngatnaruto Obsessions by their own nature, seek to insulate you from life. It is to distract yourself from facing difficult emotions. So, even if the obsession benefits you in some ways, it will have a negative emotional impact because you're making yourself go unconscious to some of your emotions. Emotions have to be consciously processed through, otherwise they get stored in the emotional body where they stagnate and cause more negative emotions. So, if you find yourself getting obsessed with an activity, try to practice moderation. But more importantly try to figure out what emotions that you're trying to avoid and where they come from. I know that you're a very cerebral person too, and this can also be used as a distraction mechanism.
The Diamond Net I see because by doing so some times you can act hostile or rude towards others when you don't mean to or feel a certain way but don't know why,Yes I choose to mentally and physically exert myself to not be present to what is under neath but it has been this way for so long I don't even know what Im afraid of.For some reason last month I just been so out of whack out of my own schedule I've been meaning to get around trying meditating but I've just been procrastinating - it feels like a nervousness in my heart and my hands thinking about certain thoughts.I'll probably just try eft tapping tonight or tommorow by the way if you have ever seen videos on eft tapping or done it your self I would like to ask do you think this can be a substitute for people who find trying to meditate difficult, I notice when I do it days at a times it slows my nervousness and my thought loops and I feel it has a calming influence on my emotional body. Not sure if it is better Im guessing probably not cause it seems like meditating requires more patience and work, but as an equal alternative the only exp I've had with meditating and Im not even sure if they were was a few times I been in REM Sleep I imagine energy chakras moving through out my body and when I awoke I felt refreshed - I read some where that one hour of meditation is equivalent to four hours of sleep and that is another question if that is true if some one wanted to replace sleep with meditation would that be healthful and for the long term or should that only be done for a short term solution whether it is because they have sleeping problems or a busy schedule
It can stem from physiological things. Obsession is really a symptom that can come from a varIety of causes. But the kind I’m talking about comes as a psychological coping mechanism to someone who is otherwise not dealing with a physiological issue.
That sounds like a very difficult thing to deal with, and I've never been on the receiving end of a hate-obsession. So, I can't tell you how I've dealt with it. I've been on the receiving end of very mild attraction obsessions and have had attraction obsessions myself. If I could attempt to give advice on the matter in lieu of experience, I would say that what can be understood and potentially used in your favor, is to understand what it is that makes that person tick. I'm inclined to believe that hate-obsessions work in much the same way as attraction-obsessions. They get to feel a certain way that they want to feel when they focus toward hating their object of obsession. They may want to feel a sense of power over another person. Or perhaps, they associate you with something that they hate within themselves and you've become a projection screen for that. Maybe they feel like they have an outlet for their self-anger and self-hatred through focusing toward you. So, the best thing you can do is to avoid feeding into that cycle that they've gotten themselves into. Perhaps it may go away if they don't have an outlet to feel the emotions that they want to feel. But if it's gotten to the point of actual violence, I recommend being pro-active and seeking help from the police. It's important to keep yourself safe. But if you understand what motivates this person, you can minimize the potential for obsession by offering them no traction and starving them of the hate/anger/power interactions that they crave from you. Respond to them with the opposite of what you've been doing, if it's safe. Can you tell me what your interactions are like, so I can give you more targeted advice?
he sowed up at my door several times i finally told him i want no more contact. and i know you will find this hard to believe but he has been tormenting me for years with v2k to the point i've tried killing myself. i was beaten by him regulary but am sure he won't try that because he would go to jail (again) I KNOW many don't believe in v2k and i really am not crazy also i wasn't locking my door when i took my dog for a walk and he started gaslighting me, but, there is nothing i can prove. he's very sick alcohol and drugs play a big part in his life
What I would do in this situation is this. I would first tell him to not contact me, and get it in writing on a text or email. Then, if he contacts you and harasses you again, I would get an injunction from a judge with a no contact order. That way, if he contacts you again or does anything related to you, there will be legal consequences. If he values not being in jail or facing legal consequences, then he won't do it. From your message, it seems like this would be a motivator for him ceasing his behaviors. But even if you don't do this, the number one thing I would do is to not respond to him in any way. Show him that his actions have no effect on you by ignoring him and seeming not to care. It seems to me like he likes to torment you because he likes the stress that it causes you and the reaction he gets. So, show him that his words and actions have no effect on you, and he'll likely move on. His lack of effect will make him frustrated too, even if you aren't privy to it. So, he won't get the emotional pay off he's looking for.
Everything opposite of obsession is what i feel these days, even when i had a girlfriend.. im even starting to feel im not capable of having a long term relationship, i think im too cold for that..
The time right before my obsession hit when I was 20, I felt the same way. I had become very numb in many ways, and very detached from reality. Occasionally, I'd have a panic attack but otherwise I was very flat with my ability to feel emotions. But right before my obsession came about, it was like a hole finally popped in my balloon of repression... so to speak. After that, I was able to feel very deeply (and manically) in some ways. It was like I had turned over a rotting log or opened Pandora's Box. I had a sense of liberation but a lack of control. Do you have a sense of feeling bottled up?
Well yea.. i mean, i have loved before and kind of obsessive kind of relationship .. I didn't have any trauma from relationships though and regrets nothing.. but now, i dont think i can feel like that anymore, i love people being around or talking to people, but not for too long.. im an introvert ofcourse, but im starting to think i will never live with anyone or obsessed about anyone or anything .. I think i value freedom and quietness more than having a girlfriend, i only barely even feel lonely
I relate to this. My last relationship was with a woman so many guys would die for and yet I felt no passion. I thought I was emotionally "past it" and would never feel intensity of attraction again. Then I met someone one night, hit it off with her intellectually and in terms of common interests and perspectives on life, then got rejected by her and bang - my mind was saturated with her for months. I just wanted her in a crazy, reckless way without my customary caution and pragmatism about choosing partners. After several false dawns this vid. has finally given me some measure of freedom and i hope it won't be another false dawn. I now wish i could find her again and re connect platonically because i feel like my attitude to her is now much more objective and healthy.
I went through this about a year ago. Right now you're probably inspired to do a lot of the things on self-help videos but can't get the motivation and energy up to act upon them if you're like I was. So, I think the main thing to do is to start acting upon the video advice. Don't do too much at once, just build one habit at a time. It takes about 66 days for a habit to solidify. So, I would stagger a new habit in once a month. Start with the physiological fundamentals: nutrition, sleep, and exercise. Then, if you haven't already, begin a meditation habit. This should mitigate the bypassing that comes from knowing all this great info but not acting upon it.
I thought this was just my imagination, its sick to think people obsessed so bad that they sit there think and plot of ways to get your attention and or hurt you, its sad really. I was like bitch your not that special, but then it turns out that everything that i feared and hoped was not true, it actually is.... and then I don’t see or feel different like meh ... i mean what can i do???
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Thank you for talking about this topic. You have given me a perspective on obsession I didn't have before, that it's a symptom of something deeper. I'm 27 and most of my life I have spent being obsessed with something-I may stick with an obsession for months or years, then without notice, will move on to something else. I felt like it was part of who I am. I had a few embarrassing obsessions with either real life men, or with certain celebrities, I recall listening to Alice in chains everyday for 3 years and learning everything about that band and boring all my friends to death with trivia. I've been obsessed with Kurt cobain, James Dean, etc. I was obsessed with my drumming teacher for a while, then a guy in a band I was in. The first hardcore obsession happened when I was 16 on this gothy boy in my class, and I recall around the same week it started my dad had a heart attack and was admitted to hospital. (I'm very close with him) my intense Alice in chains obsession started when I was in my final year of university and also my first time living alone and was so stressed out and coping I would pace back and forth in my room for hours a day, listening to music, getting lost in my head, and going to bed at 9 am. Just over 2 years ago, a long term relationship ended that I didn't want to and my somewhat absent minded, lukewarm and small collection of small crystals turned into a full-blown hardcore, daily obsession. My collection is huge now, well over 300. I have learnt all the locales, chemical make up, metaphysical meaning, and any other trivia about hundreds of minerals. I'm now in a stable happy relationship with my current partner (we're getting married) and I have a nice job and my interest in crystals has waned in recent months. I used to think I had some degree of being on the AS spectrum, but may be it's just a coping mechanism since childhood. I had a traumatic, abusive, neglected childhood (I thought what I'd lived was normal until a few years ago) and I recall pacing back and forth talking to myself when I felt anxious and unsafe... Sometimes I wonder, I try and find out who I really am. When I'm in the throes of an obsession, I feel like it's my true self. But when I'm out, I know that isn't true. I don't know my authentic self. What is my true self and what is just a coping mechanism for inner turmoil? My personality has never felt solid. I feel like I could change with the wind, I used to hate that, that other people were solid and knew themselves their dislikes, their strengths, but in starting to view objectively that may be my fluidity is something to be celebrated. I can choose to be what I like, that I'm not limited. As soon as I try to define myself, I trap myself, and my authenticity eludes me. It's like I can only be, intellectually to define myself would be false. I feel scared, that I may not have a purpose, I always wanted to understand myself on a core, soul level. That everyone has one. I just don't feel I have a true stable internal core.
This is a strange thing to say but recently I've been so drawn to reading fiction and through understanding and relating to characters it helps me to understand myself and build the identity I want to be at that time by taking bits of the characters I like... I feel chaotic on the inside whilst externally people think I have it together... I think a lot of people are like that, we're all pretending we know what we're doing but on the inside we're all screaming and running round hoping we're doing the right thing!
This video is kinda old but after watching some videos from this channel I can say this type of content really worth it, I need more content like this in UA-cam.
Man, your videos are like looking at a mirror. I identified so much to the situations you've been through, and it made it a lot easier for me to understand the concepts of many videos - anger repression, obsession, trauma, etc. Outstanding work.
I’m becoming obsessed to your informative videos thx 🍀
Only twice you were obsessed! Nice, I lost count, but then I'm pretty sure I'm older than you! Lol, your really great! Thank you for what you do!
Really awesome, i can relate thank you for being authentic and sharing with us
I had an unconscious obsession due to an extremely young childhood trauma. When I had my awakening experience it revealed the core of my dreams/plans/business etc and everything was as you’ve described here. I spent 2 years untangling myself and STILL this illusionary Tale can hook me. The individual is a real person but it’s like you said, the unraveling was so “real” but the truth is - it was integrating Unconscious illusions and shadow. I have been doing these steps and their reflection set me on a new course for sure. I appreciate you!!
Post your comments and questions below! :)
The Diamond Net Thank you. This has saved me so many trips to a psychologist lol. But honestly all of your videos have been so very helpful to me. Glad I came across your page.
As always, another insightful, wonderful video! You do an amazing job taking a specific subject and making it so relatable & understandable! You could say I have a sight "obsession" with your videos, LoL, just kidding! But in all seriousness, keep up the brilliant work and keep those videos coming! ;-)
Thank you! :) Your comments are always so encouraging to me!
No problem! As are your videos! :-) You're a talented, insightful, deep thinker, and that those are amazing qualities to have! Keep it up Emerald!
Kimberly Lingo Thanks! :)
Thank you Emerald! I feel as if obsession is something that is not talked about often enough. Thank you for helping me and so many other people!
When I was a teenager, I spent years in therapy to deal with depression, it did not work. I think in order for a person to get their life in order, they need to do a lot of the work themselves, but we do not always know HOW to get our life in order. I appreciate this video, there is a lot of good advice.
My obsession was reading (I used to spent a lot of time reading alone, maybe uncommon, but that was my thing to do). I spent years obsessing about getting good grades in school and then college. It did not even matter if I had a reason as to why school was important. Looking back, I can see, it was all rooted in that I spent a lot of time alone, and reading was this thing I spent all my time doing (I grew up in a dysfunction household, reading was my escape). I finally realized, the real problem was how I perceived things. You cannot change your entire thought process over night, there is a lot of wisdom in really questioning why we do something.
Thank you for doing and sharing the great work. Thank you.
Thank you for your candor. You've helped me understand the obsessive behavior pattern that I have. I have had all sorts of obsessions throughout my life though thankfully they're not long-lived, lasting at most 1 - 2 month periods. All those obsessions had to do with something that I perceived to be missing from my life and that I felt would make my life substantially better or more comforting. For example currently I'm trying to adopt a dog and I'm obsessed with a particular dog because I feel that he's the perfect dog for me and I can see myself cuddling and playing and being happy with this dog everyday. This is the fantasy. It stems from the fact that I live a high-pressure life and most people around me don't offer the emotional support that I seek. I dream of a big fluff to help me compensate for the lack of companionship, physical and emotional comfort in my daily life.
Why do we have obsessions?
We do not embrace the reality as it as and not the force of life takes its own course and hence we engage in controlling in reality which leads to suppression and that suppression leads to piling up of suppressed emotions and those supressed emotions plus thought=obsession. Thoughts are never intrusive unless it is associated with suppressed emotions.
Infact, if u see any other mental illness and psychological suffering the whole human kind is enduring, it is due to not aligning with the force of life or not being 'Just Being'. The moment u lead the force of life operates all the useless things starts leaving away spontaneously and only thing remains which is real 'YOU" and that's called enligtenment or the state of ultimate bliss, peace etc.
Natural, healthy & positive approach. Thanks!
Thank you so much for this. I never realized how disposed I was to obsessions until a recent interaction with a guy that kind of broke me. I was just looking at how bad of a person I must be, not look at what is telling me.
SPIRIT IS AMAZING!! and SENT THIS TO ME JUST WHEN I NEEDED IT!! xoxo
Thank you for such an insight! Interesting perspective, that always ran away from me.
I'm stuck thinking about this girl for 6 years now, soon to be 7 and it's tearing my life apart from the inside. Despite the fact that she lives on another city and has a boyfriend. I'm constantly in a state of civil war with my self and my thoughts. I'm trying everything to overcome it, that's how I discovered Carl Jung and by searching on his name on youtube - I discovered you. But my thoughts are not pleasant in any way unlike you stated, they cause hoplessness, sensation of defeat, anger, depression, suicidal thoughts, dark heavy feelings. They only stoped once in 2011 when I discovered God and had peace in my life for a short time, but soon after doubts in Gods existence struck my life destroying all peace I had. I studied theology, christian apologetics, church history afterwards - philosophy, now I'm reading Jung and things he talks about. Thought I'll bring back that religious experience but in 2015 december my faith in christianity collapsed. I'm looking for inner strength, looking for ways to forget that girl and move on. My life is in stagnation, I'm traped in my inner world like you said in the video. I feel like I'm out of options.
Actually, your experiences sort of sound quite a bit like mine. Though I have worked through the issues for the most part. About 7 years ago, my life went into a complete upheaval and I developed a romantic obsession with a married man who was much older than me to cope with it. Thinking of him and being around him was really the only outlet that I had for feeling happiness and relief, despite not knowing him very well back then and being his student. But I was in complete resistance to my obsession too. It's difficult to have an obsession because it's so taboo and embarrassing yet you want to make the best impression possible on that person. But then you just come off as completely desperate, needy, and creepy.
I too found Jungian Psychology because of this obsession because I had this deep feeling (despite my resistance) that there was something psychologically and spiritually significant about my fixation on him. I recognized after the first 6 months of being completely deluded by the content of my obsession that he was a projection screen for something else inside of me. But this didn't take away the deep feeling of rejection, not being good enough... as though my worth as an individual fell short of deserving his attention, admiration, and love. Even though he's a great person and never attempted to do anything but help me, never balked at me, and of course would never cheat on his wife or take advantage of someone psychologically vulnerable. But there was this horrible feeling of being rejected and not valued or even not attractive/feminine enough for him, despite knowing that this was not based in reality.
I eventually recognized that he was the projection screen for my Animus, which I had recently disowned. Since my life went into upheaval, my identity took many blows. I went from having a highly individuated ego, to losing grip of myself and my individuality. So, because of this losing grip, my Animus had become disintegrated from the rest of my being. So, this man became irresistible to me because being around him or thinking about him was the only time that I got to feel a connection with this part of myself. So, there's a chance that your obsession springs from a dis-integrated Anima. Actually, your message comes synchronistically, as my next video will be about the Anima and the Animus. But you may want to look up the concept in the interim and see if it's helpful.
At any rate, I still have some minor residual effects of this obsession. Every few weeks, I'll have a day where I start to think of him and feel a little weepy, despite being happily married. If I happen to see him, the day will be a little rougher for me as it will remind me of my disintegration. But this is just an indicator that I still have to re-integrate some aspects of my Animus. So, I see it as a positive thing as it's the closest thing to a clear roadsigns to a path that typically has no roadsigns. The Anima and Animus in their fully integrated forms are the mediators between the conscious and the unconscious mind. This is where the spiritual significance comes in because these archetypes bring the healing to you, so to speak.
Thank you for responding. I'm sorry for what happened to you, that's a really tough situation especially when you are married. On the other hand this experience made you look for answers, that's why you know so much about these matters and are able to help people in similar situations.
"he was a projection screen for something else inside of me."; "I eventually recognized that he was the projection screen for my Animus" those are exactly my thoughts but as you said, knowing this fact does not solve the problem. I also should mention that I fell in love with that girl in a dream that I had at night from february 5 to 6, 2010. So I look at it as a direct intervention of the unconscious, various synchronistic events took place in my life around that time that led me to that situation. Before this unrequited love, I had a very negative outlook on romatnic relationships, sexuality. I repressed all psychic content of this nature and maybe that's why it came back to me with such a huge, destructive force. However, despite the fact that since then I accepted romantic love as one of the most beautiful things in life and admited it's value, my problems haven't stoped. Maybe my anima became my enemy for some reason, I don't know.
When I saw the title of this video I thought it will talk about OCD which is another problem I had. I had a horrible irrational fear of becoming a homosexual (people refer to this as HOCD) soon after I had my first doubts in God's existence in 2011. I managed to fight this fear by using it's own weapons against it (one guy on the web gave a strategy against it: basically, if I were gay I would not experience negative emotions durring the OCD attacks, I would enjoy all those thoughts and flashes in my mind, but discust in them proved my heterosexuality) but HOCD was never completely defeated, it still bugs me from time to time but at a controlable level.
So you read this comment right on time, huh? That's interesting. Looking forward to your future videos on animus, anima and everything else. Will you ever talk about jungian interpretation of alchemy? That would be pretty cool because I don't know much about it. Carl Jung was very interested in gnosticism, alchemy and their relationship to psychology. Would be interesting to hear your thoughts about these matters :) btw you have my sub :D
Actually, this happened right before my husband and I met. I met him shortly after I began to realize the projection-nature of my fixation, when my obsession began to lose steam a bit. So, it didn't interfere in an extreme way in our relationship.
It could be also that you're approaching your Anima on the level of intellect instead of on the level of feeling. I did this for many years myself immersing myself in psychological theory and intellectual understanding of my feelings but never being able to 'understand' enough to reintegrate my feelings. So, you have a clear understanding but may not have made the actual mind/body connection on the emotional level to your Anima requires. You can do this by paying attention to the sensations in your body that come up as emotions happen. This will move your focus from the level of thought, understanding, and intellect to the level of emotions, unconscious, and the wisdom of the body.
Also, if you're experiencing fear relative to homosexuality, you'll want to look at that. This could be indicative of fear of and resistance to your feminine side. This in itself could create an Anima possession and projection situation as the Yin in you has no other outlet for expression. So, cultivating Yin qualities that are un-developed in you could help tremendously. Look no further than the object of your obsession. Try to emulate the qualities in her that occur most naturally to you.
But I will definitely be sharing more on Jungian Psychology, Alchemy, and other related topics in the future. It's quite fascinating.
What is anima possesion? I've heard this term before but I don't know what it is exactly. What happens when a guy gets "anima possesed"?
It's interesting how you linked the HOCD with the girl I mentioned, it gave me food for thought. I had thought that those things might be linked but I could never figure out how. Yes, I noticed that I had been supressing feminine side in myself most of my life and this is probably how it gets back to me. Emulate undeveloped qualities which the object of my obsession posses? I'll need to think about that..
Well, lately I've been trying to observe my emotions, my dreams and all other irrational, autonomous phenomena occuring in my mind but it changes nothing. Not yet at least.
Tadas Jakubauskas Anima possession is what happens when the Anima is under-developed or can't get expression somehow. So, the feminine Yin traits in a man, if suppressed get projected out onto women or a particular woman. There is a sense that this woman or these women have control. It also becomes part of the shadow and hijacks the personality by presenting itself as sexual obsession, possessiveness, lack of creative insight, spinelessness, lack of direction, passivity, moodiness, sulkiness, self-doubt, and a sense of going around and around in life. Basically, the shadow feminine takes over where the healthy feminine should be.
Great explanation! Covered very well. I really enjoyed this video.
Emerald , can you talk about disadvantages of enlightenment , and disadvantages of mastery of the mind ???
i think some of us never fight to keep anything or anyone in our life for too long, and its really bad... (((
What do you mean "disadvantages" of enlightenment or mind mastery? I'm very cusious about what you see or understand.
No one should fight to keep someone or anything in their life. If they don’t want to stay and ride it out its bc they are not able to.
You are an angel, thank you so much for all your useful advices.
I swear, no joke, at the beginning of the video I guessed it was Johnny Depp she was obsessed with.
Like who are you and where have you been my whole life??? Mind. Blown. Incredible information thank you so much
You're welcome! :)
I had an intense relationship that went well for a month and then went downhill for a month. I think it was an obsession for both of us. Anyway it has been about a month since we went our separate ways, but I feel like I'm still obsessed. No matter how preoccupied, busy, etc I am, she keeps appearing in my thoughts on some abstract level. How do you deal with obsessions that have become extremely negative? Until I started taking antidepressants again, I was having numerous mood swings every day that were mostly beyond my control. Occasionally mindfulness exercises gave me some relief but that was it.
This really helps my psych research.
I'm glad that it's helpful. :) Do keep in mind though, that my information isn't derived from psychological theories that have been studied from a sample of the population, repeated and written about. My information in this video is based upon my own experience with obsession and observing it as an internal phenomenon. So, it wouldn't be a credible source to use for a research paper or anything like that. But it should be helpful for understanding any obsession you might have crop up or to understand someone you know with obsessive tendencies.
The Diamond Net Don't worry, I'm researching for understanding, not a paper. ;)
MegaBro ;)
When a obsession is light and flies around you bringing some pleasure, it feels good to have it with you. To me it is like looking to a mirror that distorts the image. It sometimes brings a pleasing fantasy to your world. Other times it just looks real and boring. I enjoy watching my projections, as long as they do not become harmful. Can you actually live not projecting on other people/objects? As you say, they contain messages about your subconscious mind.
Projection will likely always happen, unless the ego is transcended permanently. However, it's important to be able to see projections for what they are, without distortion. That way, they will be less likely to fool you into believing in a distorted version of reality. It's in the ability to see through illusion, that comes expansion in awareness and a greater sense of embodying this reality as well. But obsession is just a really really strong projection, that the mind creates to cope with negative situations, by creating a reality that is somehow more pleasant where better emotions can be felt or where things make more sense.
I'm really glad i came across your videos
Thank you! :)
Excellent. We must all be aware of psychology.
Thank you very much again and again 🙏 I appreciate your love ❤️
im obsessed wit hurricanes. actually when i get into something i have a one track mind and i tend to obsess on whatever it is i am currently interested in.
When i try stopping my thoughts, i also stop breathing. I also linger on the last syllable of my last thought. Very quite thoughts hum in the background still, however they are observational thoughts picking up details in my surroundings. The brain sure is unstoppable.
Very helpful! I appreciate your honesty and insights!
I'm glad that this has been helpful to you. :)
Heyy..Thanx so so much. For the insight.. And.. just all of it (including your calm and kind manner). I had recognized the cause, and the cycles for myself but ascribed meaning to it... That its unbreakable for a reason, this person and no other : for a reason (aka mysterious, unknowable, something of love beyond understanding), and never put the whole together the way you understand it. I am sure the exercises you mentioned will help. So thanx again.
Here but is some food for thought (trying to navigate): If you grant that people have a 'type', and understand - once you look deeper- that they are determined by their experiences - fulfilling lacks and sometimes repeating early familiar patterns. Yet these choices are very much validated (unless of course if you are repeating an abusive pattern). Then is their indeed something about the choice of your obsession. As in, need it be entirely imaginary, as in, many of us would obsess over people we know.. Like an ex (like me.. Ha!). Given absolutely though that obsession by its nature is intense and unhealthy and can have you stranded, and thereby its the best advice to look at it closely and understand the real underlying issues, but, does it necessarily follow 'get away, not the person for you'!? The question being, does a obsession always entail a misreading of the person's attributes. And does then the injunction 'get away' apply. Bluntly put.. Can not the obsession mean you want 'the attributes of the person itself..rather than imaginary ones'. Aka the intensity of the need to be questioned, but need the placement always?
Also, does not 'love' many times involve an element of obsession and hankering. By this logic, Can all major eulogized romantic sagas (with extreme shows and confessions of attachment) be reduced to an imbalanced need??
I'm obsessed with someone because they are gone on a vacation and i wish i was and this is what I'm going to write when she gets back i missed you so much that ive couldnt sleep and ive been having dreams about you and i was crying about you too
what about negative obsessions that cause distress when thought about? what would be the cause of these?
very true. It happens when your life became not normal as it used to be, MIndfullness exercises are very useful. You have described obsession in detail. Why in obsession the obsessed person think of the object that he or she thinks the same way. Is it true or just a fantasy.
A lot of times, people (obsessed and not) can fall into the trap of believing that the other person thinks the same way as they do. They think that their projection is true, and that everyone has the same conception of reality. Also, for someone who is obsessed, they may have a higher degree of emotional attachment than the average person, to the idea that others think the same way as them.
Thanks keep up the good work
Thank you for the encocouragement! :D
I do need to exercise it does help me get energy
Great topic, it makes perfect sense actually. I never actually went deep on what the phenomenon is. I was actually curious on what your opinion is on flow states and the psychology behind creativity. I've been dealing with trying to get back on track with writing music but I can never get that burning desire to write again, it feels like a chore now. I wonder if I should stop for a while or do something different... What do you do if you get in these situations? Do you take a rest from the activity in total? ~Thx
+Vincent Musanti I've experienced this a lot. I went to art school and had identified myself as an artist for the greater part of a decade. So, I was always beating myself up over not creating after I graduated. But I had to ask myself why I was beating myself up, and found that I had no genuine desire to create because it was being choked out by the "I should be" thoughts. My ambitions had usurped my inspiration. My advice is to be mindful of the resistance you have, because it could be life pushing you in a completely different direction or it may just be life getting you to examine your hidden unhelpful beliefs in relation to creating. For me, I realized that artwork wasn't what wants to come out anymore, and that my real desire is to share my insights. As far as flow goes, think of that state as the conscious and subconscious mind working in effortless unison to manifest an idea into the world. But if the subconscious mind don't want to cooperate with making music, try to find something that it does want to cooperate with.
+The Diamond Net Awesome Thank You! I'll be thinking about these things!
+The Diamond Net I just painted a picture I wish I could show you. It is a rather abstract image of the Buddha.
Allen Morgan That's cool. I'd love to see it. :)
..that makes sense..
lol i laugh at my self. it’s helpful! tks, but will see how it works
I had obsessions on and off with different people over the years and there ended up in tears.this obsession I got now is a forma actress from the 70es and I tuck a shine to her.today she allmost 69 years old.I found her on facebook I started pestering her which got me blocked it upset me I wanted to stop.but I couldent.I hate getting like this it's just not healthy it's bad I I don't like it.
The main thing is to understand that the fixation comes form your projection onto her and not the woman herself. It creates an illusion like getting a relationship to a particular person is going to give you the thing you're searching for. But it won't. The only way to get what you're searching for is to actually realize that they are just the blank screen for your projection, and that the projection consists of things that you need to realize within yourself, be it shadow material or unrealized potentials.
Can you be obsessed with trying to get away from something or someone
put the f**ken lotion in the basket.
Thank you. You helped me
Emerald, I have a chemical imbalance with an over active brain, when I am in the midst of an obsession it is hard to be honest with myself and say this is only an obsession I am having with this woman, so I watched a video of Teal Swan, were I don't go into her space so I did this then she started coming into my space, another friend of me said to let go of the story in your head that you and her are going to be together and it worked...any other tips from you would be awesome.
another good video..thank you.
You're welcome and thank you! :D
oh i should add i haven't been with this person in over 4 yrs.
Obsessions at some part of our lives seems like some thing most people go through like periods of depression but there are others that are more prone to it. Would you your self say you are one of those people that are prone to obsessions.
+youngatnaruto I would say that I'm probably more prone to obsession than most people because I have a tendency to get lost in thought a lot. That said, as long as my life conditions are stable, I'm highly unlikely to experience it especially now that I realize that an obsession is thought addiction. It helps frame the obsession in a more beneficial light, so I don't get caught in thought loops as easily.
Yuriria Harris I agree. There is no such thing as a positive or negative trait. It's how you apply the trait in life that counts. Obsessive tendencies are no different. I should have mentioned in the video to find a healthy outlet for obsessive tendencies in the list. The type of obsession I was referring to was the kind that breaks you off of life and keeps you in your head and unproductive. As long as an obsession yields you benefit in your life, there is no need to try to choke it out simply on the basis that it's an obsession.
hi emerald your a gorgeous person, love your vids, just wondering if YOU can quiet your thoughts, I can recommend meditation, focused Breathing, and perhaps some mdma in a therapeutic situation.I had loud thoughts for years and now after lots of hard work, man, a silent mind is a beautiful thing.
Thank you for your kind words and the recommendations. :D
Cool.
Qi gong is also great if you've ever tried it.
Hmmm this was very helpful, but there is still a lot I have yet to understand. With my obsession it primarily happened in middle through High school. I had an abusive home and pain in relation primarily with my father. Once I graduated I took a gap year and basically let go of that object of my obsession and really did a lot of inner healing and work. Now I am talking to the object of my obsession again but the initial pain is healed, I think that it is just being triggered again. The biggest pain has to do with being strong in my perspective/identity and not getting lost in what others think. Outwardly I am very normal with the person I have liked, inwardly I am still struggling. In a sense I think that it is good that it is making me face it head on, I know now that it is all an illusion, I just have yet for the emotions to follow. Do you think it is possible to have a romantic relationship with them but get passed the old obsession? or is that just the hard way of going about it? (btw currently they know that I like them, but my plan is to stay platonic at least for now, idk how they feel about me but generally I dont think that they know who I am)
+Mirra Hays My recommendation is to really understand what the obsession gives to you emotionally. I spoke of positive emotions in the video but that is very general. Figure out exactly which emotions are being triggered. In my obsessions, I had a habit of daydreaming and fantasizing about them a lot. If you have these same patterns, I'd find a place to write them down in detail that no one else will read. Afterward, go back and dissect them for different meanings and themes, just as you would treat a work of literature. Be mindful of your emotions, and where you feel them in your body sensation-wise. Allow everything that comes up without judgement.
In relation to not getting lost in what others think, I share the same pattern. One theme, in my fantasies has been about talking to my object of obsession with them listening with curiosity and interest almost like a counselor, only responding to ask more questions or express their interest in what I'm saying. So, my fantasy, once I became really conscious to the details of it made me realize that I want to be heard. Pay attention to the little details too. Like many of my fantasies occurred in the same location. So, I could think of all my associations with that location to find that I associate that place with freedom.
But don't try to realize a relationship with your object of obsession until the obsession itself is resolved. It will likely bring about more pain. But if most of your unhealed wounds come from your relationship with your father, it is likely that you're trying to avoid the uncomfortable emotions associated with that by focusing on the obsession. So, counter-intuitively, you must let those negative emotions really hit you. When you resist an emotion it stays with you and causes issues (like obsession and other complexes). I will leave a link to a couple videos in relation to emotional healing below. They both give practical ways to process through emotions, from two very different vantage points.
+The Diamond Net
"How to Deal with Strong Negative Emotions" by Actualized.org
ua-cam.com/video/l96TZeZGlDg/v-deo.html
and "How to Heal the Emotional Body" by Teal Swan
ua-cam.com/video/c3V_Gtfr_YA/v-deo.html
+The Diamond Net Also, forgot to mention. When you dissect the fantasies to state the obvious.
Alright, thank you! you are a very under-appreciated UA-camr! and I have done work like this especially associated with my father. He has hurt me even deeper than my challenges now, so I have come far. I feel that I have healed my pain specifically with him, at least the deepest parts. Now I am left with a more surface level pain, and my old habits are showing their heads again despite my new knowledge. I do really well on my own, I took a gap year to dedicate to self-development. But recently I have been branching into more outer experiences (relationships and college) and it's like I have hit another level like in a video game where there is exceedingly harder bad guys for my current level :P. Now not only do I have to show myself who I am and accept it, but to also do it with others and to stay solid despite opinions. I have no examples of this in family, so I am my own teacher. I will be sure to try your recommended activity and watch those videos! :D Thank you.
Mirra Hays Thank you. :) Best of luck with your self- exploration!
You say an obsession is some thing mostly normal people go through but how do you know that whether you are a person with an addictive personality. Can part of it be genetics or has anything to do with having multiple fixed signs in your chart.
+youngatnaruto I would imagine that there's a genetic component to being predisposed to addiction, when it comes to people who experience obsessions. However, when a person has a psychiatric disorder that predisposes them to chronic obsession, this is indicative of chemical imbalance that may be best remedied through therapy and other psychiatric treatments. But when a person experiences an occasional obsession, this can likely be attributed to an avoidance of life situations that have become too emotionally difficult to engage with. It is like self-medication using one's own neuro-chemicals.
+youngatnaruto But ironically, as a Taurus born in the year of the Snake (ground snake as opposed to fire, water, or air) all of these are fixed signs that have a lot to do with groundedness, stubbornness, and stability. So, no wonder I've had obsessions. :)
The Diamond Net Well although I have my sun sign in Mutable Air Gemini I have a Fixed ascendant Aquarius,Fixed Mars Taurus sign,Fixed scorpio Jupiter,fixed moon,Fixed scorpio North and south node and they all are in opposite position from my mars sign the descriptions I read seem to match me perfectly partly explains why I loved wrestling/fighting so much it was an outlet it made me feel alive despite all the times I got badly hurt and injured some thing kept reeling me back in I still love it but Im not as entrenched in it as I once was but I notice whether it was people or objects I always traded obsessions for one over the other it was violent sports ie fighting/football to several people to over excersizing - these past couple days I went over the nornal amount of time I jump rope I usually do 1500 per day but I have been doing about 4500-6000 and I usually do it for an hour straight with only 15 second rests in between after I am done it gives me a slight euphoria can obsessions be bad if they are providing a benefit Im losing weight very quickly and as I look in the mirror I see Im developing my abs again. .On the surface it seems like I don't have an obsessions but it's all locked away in a box some where metaphorically speaking emotionally vacant so this is my way of feeling alive I guess, although earlier in my youth I had obsessions/addictive personality but they weren't from me being emotionally vacant.I would maybe attribute this to getting hit in the head several times but they were there before that, does it seem like people with fixity some times try to be too serious when it is not needed true story I remember being young as three falling off a couple of brick stairs and cutting my face with a razor bleeding but not crying although I would cry over small things like not being feed I always felt it would be embarassing to do so it wasn't nothing any one ingrained in me it was just my own thoughts.Do we people who have too much fixity just need a stable amount of activity in our life and if we dont it turns into obssessions kind of like people with adhd they need a certain amount of mental stimulation ironically I have been diagnosed with that as well.
youngatnaruto Obsessions by their own nature, seek to insulate you from life. It is to distract yourself from facing difficult emotions. So, even if the obsession benefits you in some ways, it will have a negative emotional impact because you're making yourself go unconscious to some of your emotions. Emotions have to be consciously processed through, otherwise they get stored in the emotional body where they stagnate and cause more negative emotions. So, if you find yourself getting obsessed with an activity, try to practice moderation. But more importantly try to figure out what emotions that you're trying to avoid and where they come from. I know that you're a very cerebral person too, and this can also be used as a distraction mechanism.
The Diamond Net I see because by doing so some times you can act hostile or rude towards others when you don't mean to or feel a certain way but don't know why,Yes I choose to mentally and physically exert myself to not be present to what is under neath but it has been this way for so long I don't even know what Im afraid of.For some reason last month I just been so out of whack out of my own schedule I've been meaning to get around trying meditating but I've just been procrastinating - it feels like a nervousness in my heart and my hands thinking about certain thoughts.I'll probably just try eft tapping tonight or tommorow by the way if you have ever seen videos on eft tapping or done it your self I would like to ask do you think this can be a substitute for people who find trying to meditate difficult, I notice when I do it days at a times it slows my nervousness and my thought loops and I feel it has a calming influence on my emotional body. Not sure if it is better Im guessing probably not cause it seems like meditating requires more patience and work, but as an equal alternative the only exp I've had with meditating and Im not even sure if they were was a few times I been in REM Sleep I imagine energy chakras moving through out my body and when I awoke I felt refreshed - I read some where that one hour of meditation is equivalent to four hours of sleep and that is another question if that is true if some one wanted to replace sleep with meditation would that be healthful and for the long term or should that only be done for a short term solution whether it is because they have sleeping problems or a busy schedule
Does not all obsession stems from some chemical imbalance 🤔??
It can stem from physiological things. Obsession is really a symptom that can come from a varIety of causes. But the kind I’m talking about comes as a psychological coping mechanism to someone who is otherwise not dealing with a physiological issue.
Lowering a lotion in a basket down into a well 😜
what if a person's obesssion is with what you're doing every minute of the day and is constantly angry and will do anything to hurt you
That sounds like a very difficult thing to deal with, and I've never been on the receiving end of a hate-obsession. So, I can't tell you how I've dealt with it. I've been on the receiving end of very mild attraction obsessions and have had attraction obsessions myself. If I could attempt to give advice on the matter in lieu of experience, I would say that what can be understood and potentially used in your favor, is to understand what it is that makes that person tick. I'm inclined to believe that hate-obsessions work in much the same way as attraction-obsessions. They get to feel a certain way that they want to feel when they focus toward hating their object of obsession. They may want to feel a sense of power over another person. Or perhaps, they associate you with something that they hate within themselves and you've become a projection screen for that. Maybe they feel like they have an outlet for their self-anger and self-hatred through focusing toward you. So, the best thing you can do is to avoid feeding into that cycle that they've gotten themselves into. Perhaps it may go away if they don't have an outlet to feel the emotions that they want to feel. But if it's gotten to the point of actual violence, I recommend being pro-active and seeking help from the police. It's important to keep yourself safe. But if you understand what motivates this person, you can minimize the potential for obsession by offering them no traction and starving them of the hate/anger/power interactions that they crave from you. Respond to them with the opposite of what you've been doing, if it's safe. Can you tell me what your interactions are like, so I can give you more targeted advice?
he sowed up at my door several times i finally told him i want no more contact. and i know you will find this hard to believe but he has been tormenting me for years with v2k to the point i've tried killing myself. i was beaten by him regulary but am sure he won't try that because he would go to jail (again) I KNOW many don't believe in v2k and i really am not crazy also i wasn't locking my door when i took my dog for a walk and he started gaslighting me, but, there is nothing i can prove. he's very sick alcohol and drugs play a big part in his life
What I would do in this situation is this. I would first tell him to not contact me, and get it in writing on a text or email. Then, if he contacts you and harasses you again, I would get an injunction from a judge with a no contact order. That way, if he contacts you again or does anything related to you, there will be legal consequences. If he values not being in jail or facing legal consequences, then he won't do it. From your message, it seems like this would be a motivator for him ceasing his behaviors. But even if you don't do this, the number one thing I would do is to not respond to him in any way. Show him that his actions have no effect on you by ignoring him and seeming not to care. It seems to me like he likes to torment you because he likes the stress that it causes you and the reaction he gets. So, show him that his words and actions have no effect on you, and he'll likely move on. His lack of effect will make him frustrated too, even if you aren't privy to it. So, he won't get the emotional pay off he's looking for.
thanks so much for your help
You're welcome. :) Best of luck.
Everything opposite of obsession is what i feel these days, even when i had a girlfriend.. im even starting to feel im not capable of having a long term relationship, i think im too cold for that..
The time right before my obsession hit when I was 20, I felt the same way. I had become very numb in many ways, and very detached from reality. Occasionally, I'd have a panic attack but otherwise I was very flat with my ability to feel emotions. But right before my obsession came about, it was like a hole finally popped in my balloon of repression... so to speak. After that, I was able to feel very deeply (and manically) in some ways. It was like I had turned over a rotting log or opened Pandora's Box. I had a sense of liberation but a lack of control. Do you have a sense of feeling bottled up?
Well yea.. i mean, i have loved before and kind of obsessive kind of relationship .. I didn't have any trauma from relationships though and regrets nothing..
but now, i dont think i can feel like that anymore, i love people being around or talking to people, but not for too long.. im an introvert ofcourse, but im starting to think i will never live with anyone or obsessed about anyone or anything .. I think i value freedom and quietness more than having a girlfriend, i only barely even feel lonely
I relate to this. My last relationship was with a woman so many guys would die for and yet I felt no passion. I thought I was emotionally "past it" and would never feel intensity of attraction again. Then I met someone one night, hit it off with her intellectually and in terms of common interests and perspectives on life, then got rejected by her and bang - my mind was saturated with her for months. I just wanted her in a crazy, reckless way without my customary caution and pragmatism about choosing partners. After several false dawns this vid. has finally given me some measure of freedom and i hope it won't be another false dawn. I now wish i could find her again and re connect platonically because i feel like my attitude to her is now much more objective and healthy.
U r so pretty,,, if u come to my life my obsession n desperation will vanish
I have an obsession with enlightenment and youtube self help vids. Pls Help.
And meditation!
I went through this about a year ago. Right now you're probably inspired to do a lot of the things on self-help videos but can't get the motivation and energy up to act upon them if you're like I was. So, I think the main thing to do is to start acting upon the video advice. Don't do too much at once, just build one habit at a time. It takes about 66 days for a habit to solidify. So, I would stagger a new habit in once a month. Start with the physiological fundamentals: nutrition, sleep, and exercise. Then, if you haven't already, begin a meditation habit. This should mitigate the bypassing that comes from knowing all this great info but not acting upon it.
I thought this was just my imagination, its sick to think people obsessed so bad that they sit there think and plot of ways to get your attention and or hurt you, its sad really.
I was like bitch your not that special, but then it turns out that everything that i feared and hoped was not true, it actually is.... and then I don’t see or feel different like meh ... i mean what can i do???
#TWINFLAMES
Driven by psychic vomit