why self-improvement is ruining your life
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- Опубліковано 26 чер 2024
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00:00 Why I Made This Video for You
00:46 Problem 1
01:57 Story: Why I Quit Masterminds (It Could Happen to You)
03:42 Problem 2
05:05 Story: The Grinding Rockstar
07:21 Problem 3
08:21 Story: Backpacking, Awful Teenage Jobs, and How to Have FUN
09:46 Problem 4
11:20 Confront Your Toxic Shame: The Next Step in Your Shadow Work
13:02 Are You Acting 24/7? Uncovering Your Persona
14:43 Story: Why Content Creators Go Crazy
15:53 The Guru & Influencer Trap
17:28 Breaking Self-Improvement from Business Advice
18:23 Problem 5
19:52 Finding God
20:28 What Self-Improvement Gets Right - And How You Use It
22:52 Closing Thoughts -- Your Next Move
In this video, I want to open up about some thoughts I've been having regarding the self-improvement industry. I think we've lost the plot a bit. When I say self-improvement, I'm including spirituality, pop psychology, and productivity habits-basically, anything that's consumed with the intention of feeling different.
This video isn't made with the goal of racking up views for the algorithm. Instead, I hope it truly helps and impacts a few of you and maybe even saves you years of heading in the wrong direction, potentially spiraling, and perhaps it changes your perspective on a few things.
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Hey there, I’m Clark Kegley, a former pro drummer turned self-improvement advocate. Here on UA-cam, I provide guidance to help you transform into your 2.0 version.
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Been thinking about this too! Every day I ask myself, "What do you really want?" because that is the first step in changing your life, according to those in the know. And every day I have no clue. It makes me miserable because I feel like I am missing out on something better.
Enjoy what you have and keep an eye out for what could really excite you and fit into your life now. I’m in the same boat! It’s hard to figure out what you want when you have such limited time to go after it. It feels like the most impactful decision ever!! But whatever it is, make sure it’s what YOU want and what’s good for YOUR life. Good luck!! 🤗🩷
@@lionandtheprideband3958 thank you for the insight
I have done this every single day for 6 months and I just realized all that I "really want" is to feel okay with whatever it is I choose to do. The misery is from assuming I've missed out on making the better decision. I also haven't watched the video yet so maybe he talks about this. I don't know if this is also true for you but I thought I'd share because I know this feeling all too well and would never want someone else to have to continue running in this circular thinking.
@@jaedynramirez2907 It's funny, I've been thinking about doing a video like this. Clark beat me to it
I feel you! I'm a writer and life coach 😂 and I get like this too! My best tool: micromoments of joy. They stack!
Thanks for being authentic. Internet needs more of this.
I had a realization this morning actually, 90% of the self improvement space is filled with tips, tricks, and hacks. That's all it is. There is very little substance anymore. It's all just marketing and courses and nonsense.
I'm so sick of the influencers and the fake ego persona they show online. They don't post for intention but attention. I'm also sick of the ones who are all about "look at me, look at what I'm doing". These are the ones in constant lack mentality at their core.
This youtuber has 1,7 million followers. and carefully chooses background and hair.... it seems its not about look at me but the passion to introduce people to options. At least some youtubetrs use non-vulgar language.
I have a PhD and I feel sooo unworthy... This video is what I needed. Thank you!
Why? You have a PhD 🎉🎉🎉🎉
that's what he said, if you feel not enough, you will always feel not enough no matter what
GOSHHH I needed this video! I’ve been trying to “leveling up” these past 4 months because my ex bf implied I had trauma from previous relationships. Made me feel like something was wrong with me.. therefore I started to work on myself to improve but then it has became this thing that is so exhausting like I feel bad the days I don’t meditate, I feel bad for not starting my business yet.. makes me feel not ready yet to talk to another man or start something with someone because I feel like I’m not ready.. I’ve been isolated from people and friends :( I’m very social but these past months I’ve been feeling like so alone.. thank you for reminding me that life is about balance and loving ourselves and accepting ourselves
Great video - in a world where many people including myself listen to too much “self-help” content all day long and don’t take in half of what we watched this resonated a lot.
I felt you came off as very authentic and genuine, which made the message a lot stronger. Thank you for deciding to post, it really helps put into perspective a lot of similar thoughts I’ve also had that I’ve just left in the back of my mind.
I admire your honesty and it makes me trust you more than anyone else on UA-cam. Thank you so much for your immense support and help. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
I am from the EU and I am astonished that you are the only American I have found on UA-cam who understands that making money is not the goal of life! I hope other Americans will learn from you. 🖖 Good life!"
Good Lord Clark! You are literally talking to me right now. Thank you so so so much for this video. I also make videos and I understand when you said: this video is not for views, it's just a conversation between friends. Let me tell you every word you said made echo in my head and gave me so much peace. Thank you again for your time and dedication ❤
Wow! This is one of the best videos I’ve seen from you so far. Thank you so much for showing this side of you. 👍
Man oh man, I could feel you all the way from London. This is truly the best video I’ve seen from you. I could feel the passion and the honesty oozing out of you. Thank you man - I love that doing this video helped you too.
Honestly I like the video, but self improvement for the last 6 months has drastically changed my life. But my life has become less about me and more about my family and friends. I now just connect and stop worrying so much about doing "right: all the time, and just being the my version of the best me in that moment.
When your glass is overflowing, start filling other people's glasses is the best thing I learned
In one of your videos I saw a month ago or so you said people get addicted to the feeling of being a victim. I turned it off in anger till I realised it was a reflection in me. Thanks for that honesty. It was very helpful to produce changes in my thought patterns.
Thank you for posting this after all. So many people are mindlessly obsessed with self-improvement and the worst part - there’s no end to it. It’s so important to know why we do it and have clear goals in mind.
Thank you for this video, Clark! I literally won my dream job last year, but ever since then, I have been so anxious about messing up or offending any of my colleagues that I haven’t been able to enjoy myself at work at all. I'm ready to start getting out of my own head and start enjoying life with the people around me.
There is a difference in self-improvement and self isolation and it can transform into that pretty fast. Your videos are always so insightful and straight out of your heart and your opinions are very well thought through. You cannot adapt an 1on1 protocol from another individual and have the same amount of success because you don't know if you share the same values.
These are your best videos imho because its the truth. The truth is where the real value lies. Hearing what you don't want to hear. An example being doing what you hate, having the discipline to follow through is what actually produces the results, at least in the beginning until you form the habits that serve you. For me personally, becoming connected more with God has been the biggest change for me, above anything else I have done up to this point, including some short term therapy. You can only serve one master. Choose wisely. Thank you Clark for sharing this!
I confess I’m addicted to self improvement content/books and really NEEDED to hear this! Thank you for sharing, Clark! More raw videos like this please 🙏🏼
Well said!
Thank you for posting this...self improvement is a journey not a destination...
I really admire your authenticity.
This video should be called " 5 Self-improvement tips for people who are sick of self improvement"
can be isolated is so true... I have been feeling it. Focusing on myself is important but I feel too alone sometimes...
Just discovered your videos today and loved this one, really spoke to me. And I’ve noticed alot of people turning back to God too. We’re all kind of prodigal sons and daughters returning home.
So glad to be a part of this community. The guy deserves more credit for sharing this insight . I think most of the people who are into self improvement since a long time feel that it gets too much and often toxic ......and yes definitely looking forward to more brain dump videos !!!
A.m. routine ~ journal, pen, quiet/meditation/prayer time (whatever you want to call it)…….ask yourself this simple question: “how/where/who am I to serve today?” Let divine order guide your inspired actions for the day by tuning in. We are ALL already enough in this very moment…. Clark, you are transitioning in perfect divine order. Thanks for being authentic….
One of the best videos I have watched in a very long time thank you so much for making this video and we would like to see more of your thoughts on this subject thank you so much we are grateful to have you as a creator may God bless you and me he inspire you to spread happiness all over the world
Wise words, I agree! 🎉
This is the best video for anyone and everyone. I'm the type of person who searches for answers to what I'm feeling and the problems I face sometimes, and I would usually go to motivational videos to do that. Now, I have a different understanding about self improvement. Thank you for this video, we need more of these Clark. I can definitely see you as one of the greats!
Yes! Finally a video about anti “improvement” culture. He keeps pushing and pushing us to meet a goal, but then it is hard for us to enjoy the slow moments of life improvement doesn’t focus on enjoying time with family and friends getting dinner with a loved one or just sitting down and reading a book that you enjoy, I love this change and perspective allowing us to make our own rules for our own sake and happiness
WOW I just wrote an insta post on the things we put ourselves through in the name of healing. Completely mirroring a lot of my own feelings. This is def a must watch video. I think the self-help industry in their rush to solve problems has started being the solution instead of pointing people back to themselves to solve the problem.
An internal solution will not be solved by an external solution. That is like trying to solve a software problem with a hardware change as soon as you reinstall that software there are still going to be problems. Instead of chasing after the money, we have to be strong enough when people give you their power to give it back to them.
I started following your content just recently, and I have to say it has helped me a lot. I think all the points you make about self-improvement are so insightful! You put into words many thoughts I have but never had real answers for. Thank you, Clark. God bless you and your family! Hugs from Brazil!
I've definitely noticed this also. There are even some "leaders" who are misleading their audiences into negative and narcissistic behavior under the guise of being above everyone else. So telling people to check with their own discernment is wise. Thank you for this video, and for being so honest! ❤
Thanks for your authenticity, the best video I’ve watched from you and it really really helped
I love you Clark ❤ Rants like these are my favorite. Just spewing whatever's on your mind is so relatable & a refreshing reminder we are not the only ones in this world feeling/thinking/questioning these things. We're all in this together. Thank you ✌🏻💖🤗😁
You hit the nail on the head - Thank God someone is starting to speak about this whole self improvement movement which leads to self absorption - I felt myself going down that road and I snapped out of it.
I feel a lot better when I'm taking of myself AND others!!
I loved what you said at the end "I'm worthy of taking up space in conversations, I don't have to put on this role or persona. Thank you, it really resonated with me 👍
Fuck yeaach it was worth uploading. Congrats on making one of the best videos that I have watched in a while. So much useful informations to consider in life and reflect on.
Wow I loved this. Super rare to find this level of authenticity in the “self-improvement” market & it’s a breath of fresh air.
Clark, I think you’re really honing in on your niche. Keep speaking what you truly think & you have a life-long supporter, your genuine self is full of wisdom and it’s very refreshing to hear so thank you
I love how much of a kind and sincere human you are, Clark.
Definitely recognize getting wrapped up in the next steps instead of living in the moment the past 12 years working 😢
i love you Clark, you are that one youtuber I still watch on my "self-improvement" way, because you are the only one who doesnt make me feel bad or guilt. I really like your point about learning from yourself. Thank you, you really making my life better! My biggest appreciation
I recently spent some time with my father (for Father's Day) going to a church I never went to before. As I was listening in, I was making connections with the message and with my journey so far. I began to realize that the core of all wisdom is a desire to live in harmony, not just for others around you, but also for yourself. Nobody wants to feel like they are letting others down or letting themselves down, but I think acknowledging the reality of who we are as a society and then taking a moment to reach out and address your concerns starts a cycle of opening up that makes others feel like they can open up in turn. I'm glad you decided to post this video.
For me, self-improvement has always been about learning to accept others around me and their way of life so that I can hopefully learn to accept myself, and hearing from you and your thoughts on the journey is already helping me (and I think it's helping you, too). I've had passing thoughts about stepping into streaming, but I think I strayed away from it precisely because I was afraid I would lose myself along the way, and in doing so I would shut out the few people I care about.
No matter what you do or what may come, I hope you find your way in this ever-changing world.
That's a nice post for others out here, too. Thanks!
I'm so glad you posted this! You hit so many truths , 100%!
The 18:10 "everybody is a flawed human at the core" doesn't fit. Toxic shame seems to really run deep considering how this slipped in contrary to the big idea shared here. Great topic and that small piece within this thought/emotion/spirit provoking video shows that living life is an art! Thanks for sharing, Clark!
Also, I am seeing this trend that people are going back to old school religion. There's a movement in this too so just be careful. All of this technique shit still makes us feel powerless, which is why most people go back to religion to feel a sense of security. But it's truly within us
These things may be true for some, but I spent the first 30+ years of my life focusing on others and it didn’t do anything for my life. Now that I have focused on learning about and improving myself I have more balance and I feel closer to others, understanding them, and making mindful choices about who I spend my time with. Not everyone we “enjoy” is good for us to be around. Not every well-thought out choice of company is transactional, sometimes it is for the greater good as well as our own. I’ll never go back to giving my valuable time to the wrong people and letting the negativity of others rub off on me. It’s not all about money, it’s about mentality. Someone can be not wealthy but have a healthy rich mindset, while someone can have money and have a scarcity mindset, for me it’s more about character and perspective than wealth.
One of the best “Self Improvement” videos on UA-cam. Appreciate your POV Brother, will definitely ponder on what you said.
Spot on loved the whole video man keep it up
Fair enough, Clark.
I believe you can't really talk anyone out of going their own journey, because only the experience leads to realization.
Jim Carrey said: "I wish everyone became rich and famous just to realize that it wasn't the point."
Well, I'm sure even if Jim Carrey went back yo his younger self, he couldn't talk him out of wanting ti achieve his big dreams, and that he has, millions of people listen to him when he speaks.
I know I also want to have the same influence and for that I guess you know better what needs to be done.
I understand you're just expressing yourself and I feel ya on that, living with less pressure would be sweet if you think about it for a moment's notice, but in the end, deep down inside, we all love the thrill of the journey of trying to reach our goals, at least the people who signed up for it in the first place.
This was a good video. I've read a TON of "self improvement" books and watched thousands of hours of videos. My #1 book after all of them is 7 Habits of Highly Effective People because it promotes character ethic over personality ethic, living a principle centered life. Interdependence vs independence. Begin with the end in mind. It keeps me centered on relationships, my core beliefs, and it's God centered.
Thank you, Clark, for this video! You're a good dude!!
Respect!!👊
So glad you posted. This was very well stated and helpful.💜
Love the authenticity and keepin' it real. Thank you. 🕊🦋
This is why you have millions of followers including me. You really care about our mental health. RESPECT Clark. Thanks for coming into our lives and sharing your thoughts 💛
Everyone just try to be kind to yourself and long is a marathon. Failure today doesn't mean you are stuck in this situation forever. Move on and learn from your experience. CHEERS1
😊 Clark, you're about the same age as my kids. And, you reminded me of them. Watching videos of you at a young age on vacation, going places, doing things, creating content. Basically in my opinion, the core you, really hasn't changed, personality wise. Yes, you've grown and advanced. However, the straight forward, honest, be yourself you, hasn't changed. And, I enjoy the little side jokes you throw in.
Please don't feel as if you have to be a staunch, know all be all guru. Your actions, track record and accomplishments is proof enough.
You're, Hey man let's have fun getting things done approach. To me, has made you a very relatable person. And, people wouldn't be approaching you if you were unapproachable, or unreliable, so that in itself shows proof. My parents taught me, act accordingly,
time and place, moderation is key, consider where and who you're speaking to with discernment. Please don't change Clark, I really enjoy your relaxed, relatable educational fun content. Stoic old fuddy? You're quite an accomplished young man.
👍💥
Man I'm truly grateful for your message and approach, not just on this video but all the others. Keep doing what you're doing
Clark, I really appreciate your honesty and transparency with some of the issues you have faced. For example when you talk about not feeling loved in a relationship not because of your partner not loving you, but because you haven’t focused on learning to love yourself or be happy with the you you are now. I can really tell and feel that you have actually been through some of those examples and speak from a genuine want to help people. As opposed to “I’m saying this for people to agree and to push me up on a pedestal”. I’m trying to come out of a complicated slump right now. And your video today and others in the past really help me search for the next (realistic) steps I need to take to help put myself in a better position. There’s a lot more that I liked about this video. But to save myself from typing a novel of gratitude and compliments - I’ll end this at thank you for all you do.
Great reality check… keep reminding people to remind themselves of these basic truths …and when overwhelmed revert to the ‘simple’...Thanks for your authenticity
The guy looks and sounds so sincere when he talks . These attributes attracts audience somehow. Keep up the good work. U have my thanks ur doing a great job
I love that you posted this! Thank you.
I think this video was MUCH needed! Thank you
Clark, I genuinely love these videos. They are very intimate and welcoming! Thank you so much for sharing your personal experiences. They really do help a lot.
Much love my friend. You’re doing amazing. The best influence we can have is one that’s genuine, and that’s why I listen to you and watch your videos.
Enjoy your day my bro!!
At the very end... You are doing great with your own self-improvement process. You've tried different routes and somehow finding your best one. Your growth is noticeable. And people can learn from you too. What a beautiful work going through self-improvement brings into any of us... At our own pace and facing our own realities. A human doing and reflecting on his/her actions is just precious. That is growth. Lovely. Great video, man. Hugs.
This is great and it's in the same direction I'm going. The world needs more being and feeling, not more doing and thinking. Thanks Clark for opening up ❤
WOW, this is such an honest video, thank you for posting it.I've been questioning my choices and everything I don't have because of the path I've chosen so I completely resonate with how you feel. Need to remember to actually LIVE in the moment
I always think you're genuine, but I appreciate a video like this because I really respect the self-awareness that comes across here. Thanks for all of your thoughts Clark!
Amazing!! The best video so far for me after a long time! Thanks Clark! Keep going!
I’m so glad you did post this. This is right on.
As always - I love & respect your honesty 👏
This was at the exact right time, Clark, thank you! I've been struggling with perfectionism and not accepting myself just as I am. I think I'm tired of always not being enough for myself. I love the rawness of this, the one scene-ness, please do more of similar! Always Love x
Awesome video, thank you. It's good to hear this type of content.
Loved this video Clark! The way you break down the self improvement space is pure gold. Keep it up.
Thank you for posting
I agree that giving makes you feel good and I do that on x-mas and such but the issue is is many times when i give people are so ungrateful. I did this at work and people just said "really?" Nobody said "thank you" or anything. I learned to only do it for family and nobody else.
Glad you posted this, I hadn't watched any of your videos for a while because of the artificiality of some of them, but this one resonated, and judging by how you said you felt at the end of it, you already knew that 😄👍🏻
Thank you very much for the message… I think I’m in that rut and really needed to hear your message!!! I’ve been overwhelmed by consuming consuming and consuming online info and so grateful that I found this!!!! Thank you
Heck yeah, this vid popped up on my feed from nowhere but I've always felt the 'grind' as a fairly empty, one-dimensional pursuit. Good to be in solitude sometimes to go inward, but opening oneself to experience the nuances of the outer world is also valuable.
Thank you for posting this, this was beautiful.
Super Useful!💫
This was very useful thank you for the video . Can’t wait for more !
so much wisdom in this video! Thanks a lot for sharing your thougths. It was exactly what I was needing to hear right now.
Thank you 🙌🏻 the content on this video is a 100% accurate
I agree with so much of this! Thanks for sharing!
Good video, Clark. Thanks for sharing!
I loved this, Clark. It immediately made me feel lighter. I related with every bit of it. Thank you.
A great video. Topics I've been sharing with family and friends as well. Great perspective.
Beautiful, Clark. Right on!
Wow, thank you! ❤
Clark your energy is so easy to get along with and you seem so genuine and your always so honest with us I just love it ❤❤❤
Beautiful and so true ! 🥰
This is great dude, love your advices; I now understand that cutting relationships just to 'maximize' my time would be the worst decision I would ever make.
I've been having a similar realization...trying to get into routines and streaks, etc seems to be causing more stress and anxiety than just trying to get a little bit better each day whatever that means to you...
Thank you. Again! ❤
Thanks I needed that
Im glad you decided to upload this video. I was getting the same feeling when listening to these 'gurus' and deep in my heart i knew to take every word with a grain of salt. Definitely ask what your values are! Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this topic!! It was finally said outloud!!
Felt you are authentic. Keep it up.
This video is just… very good! What you said, is so important, it helped me a lot. Thank you. For your honesty.
Bless you Clark thank you
I needed to hear that. Thank you
Love this video. So glad you came up in my algorithm. I've been thinking stuff like this and glad to hear someone else talking about it.
This video was one of my favorite videos you've ever created. I can feel your authenticity and to me, that is the most empowering for others. I'm really grateful for your insight and clear way of communicating all sides of self improvement and spirituality and being able to stay grounded in who you are, and not what others are telling you you are. There is SO much toxicity in many spirituality information circulating the media as well as constantly striving for more - and I agree thats beautiful to want more but if you're losing yourself in the process and severing connection with others - that is the complete opposite of the goal.
I also resonate with coming back to more traditional beliefs and ways of life which God plays a big role in guiding that, or whatever that higher power is for you. I feel thats why a lot of people are being called back to this! It's so beautiful as long as we don't use it in the same ways to judge others or isolate of course.
Thank you, again.
Excellent video that get's you thinking!
Yes thank you Clark- however, I do think it's important that when you're trying to start a new life that it's not easy to be around people who are doing things that you're trying to stop. This doesn't mean you can't hangout with those people at all. It just means spending LESS time