FWIW, I’m a visually impaired artist. I’ve spent a lifetime watching people who swear they’re “not good at art” go to art or painting classes with me and produce something way better. I’ve taught people how to crochet who end up making tighter pieces than mine because they have better fine motor control. And it HURTS sometimes. But I like the process. It feels good. I like the making and the painting and the drawing and the stitching. And every time I think of giving that up, it hurts so much more. And sometimes, I make a painting I feel so proud of, I wanna share it. A sweater so good and tight, I wear it. A piece worthy of gifting or sharing. And for those highs, I’ll keep going, even amidst all the mess and struggle and fear that it’s all just a waste. This video was fantastic. Thank you for verbalizing so much truth about imposter syndrome and the fear of obscurity or time wasted and hell, even how I think it affects all of us when we see how others discuss other creators.
I've been taking pictures for over 20 years now, and I've got quite a few of them stored up on my computer and on Flickr (over 3,000 on that site). I've struggled with fully embracing a purpose, meaning, am I taking photographs for me or for others? Who am I trying to make happy? I've certainly chased the approval of others all that time, although I live in a desert and praise is rain. But, even with limited exposure and limited engagement from others, and the disappointment that provides, I'm not interested in stopping. I see differently now, whether I have a camera in my hands or not, I pay attention to things in different ways and I like the way they change the way I experience the world. I enjoy having a picture or type of picture in mind and occasionally building up enough skill to achieve it, especially when the success may be years in coming. And still, though, it hurts me that I have thousands of photographs I'm proud enough of to post online and almost certainly only a vanishingly small number of people will ever see them, and an even smaller number will feel anything about them at all. I do want to share them, I do want to engage with others about them. I'm a social being so of course I want that. But. But. Knowing I likely will never get to know that what I did impacted anyone else won't stop me taking pictures. I won't stop. It'll probably continue to hurt, but I won't stop. Because, as you say, stopping would feel worse.
Story time. When I was about 12, I got a blanket my grandma had crocheted for me. It was absolutely hideous: purple, gray, brown, and blue. But we were poor, and it kept me warm. So I kept it on my bed. My girlfriend called it the "ugly pretty blanket" one day. I asked her why. The first part was obvious, and the second is why I'm crying right now. "It took her who knows how long to make this. And the whole time, she was thinking about you. This is love made manifest." I had it for 25 years, sitting on the foot of my bed. It eventually became too worn, so I got rid of it. I later told my dad to ask her to make a new one for me. He looked at me like I was an alien and said "She hasn't been able to crochet for years. She's in her 80s." (Arthritis sucks) She passed a few years ago, and I really wish I could wrap up in that blanket and look at the rain that's pouring right now. Please don't let your brain convince you that your skills aren't enough. It's not about the quality of the thing, but the quantity of love you have for the recipient. Now I'm going to get into bed, wrap up in a shitty Walmart blanket, and cry myself to sleep while I think about how much I miss that very weird woman.
We all need an outlet and not keep things bottled up. Otherwise, that positive creative energy turns into something dark and destructive. Even if it doesn't make you money or bring you appreciation, do it to express yourself.
You taught those people how to crochet. You gave that to them. Your art is in the work you consider better than your "own". Your art is in their respect for you. Your art is in them. Don't take that away from yourself. We all stand on the shoulders of giants, and are giants on whose shoulders others stand
I haven’t seen the documentary this is from, but honestly the very concept of Banksy seeing someone do this and coming to the conclusion “some people shouldn’t make art” pisses me off to an extreme degree. Banksy himself is a parody of what he once stood for, the fact he looked at this situation and even thought that just shows how immature he is as a person. I know thinking this is antithetical to this video, but part of me does think there is something wrong with the art world that one of the most famous artists in existence right now will just openly rip into someone doing something like this and see almost no pushback. Again, haven’t watched the documentary, but I feel like if I did I’d just be upset about it because of this.
Being forgotten used to scare the shit out of me. Until I realized how many mistakes I've made and how some of them hurt people deeply. My own insignificance and the knowledge that I'll be forgotten after a while was a warm comforting blanket after that.
It all depends on what you want out of life. I pounded nails for 45 years. I was a carpenter. One day I stood up and looked around and said, I've had enough. I thought back, over years and years of jobs that I worked on. I tried to remember the people's faces, the customers I worked for and it all became a blur. I tried to recall where I was in a particular year and finally had to Google songs and find the release date to find out what year it was when I worked on a certain job and everything coalesced into a hodge podge of visions in my brain and it turns out in the final analyses that it don't matter. Jesus. That was horrifying.
I mean it did matter for the people you worked for even if you don’t remember them and they don’t remember you, your work was there serving its purpose and while one day it will all be redone the lives you have inadvertently touched will never be
I've had a lot of the same feelings for the longest time -- what finally dispelled it was watching Defunctland's video (documentary) on the Disney Channel's theme. To summarize: As much as we want our biggest, greatest, longest, most prestigious works to be remembered, ultimately we have zero control over our legacy. And that there is great dignity in even our smallest works, because there is always a chance it might connect with someone. So you should create diligently, constantly, and give it as much effort as you give everything else, which is absolutely everything.
Fun fact you can see banksy without obfuscation in that last lunch scene of 'exit through the gift shop'. He's a middle aged blocke with a bit of beer belly. You can recognise his hands as the banksy's by comparing it to earlier shots in the movie. Cheers!
Clicked a 50 view video and you won me over on the first sentence. Exit through the gift shop is a must watch for anyone interested in how art works commercially
After finishing the video i thinm we have a different view of exit through the gift shop. In my view yes the artists are laughing at mr brainwash for being mediocre, for phoning it in, for not being genuine and just copying work and not even creating the art himself but instead using assistants to create them nearly completely. BUT! We as the viewer cam see that while all of this may be true, he is having just as much success as any of them if not more. To me as a viewer there is a intense irony i laughing at an artist and claiming they are not as real/genuine/good, while they are just as successful in prividing what the market wants. To me mr brainwash is an artist that is simply exercising the wrong art. His art is not the paintings and sculptures, but instead the act and character of mr brainwash. He feels no inhibition of creating something mediocre and forgetful, and the other artists in the movie are mad that he does not have this fear that all of them feel.
@@psycl0n3 very interesting take. altough i think something negative can be said about people that feel no fear of flooding the world with mediocrity. frankly i think art is completely, utterly dead. there is nothing left . not even the so called greats of today are great at all. people, as usual, will always be the center problem of this thing. producing things for people to consume and throw away is hell. i always felt that mozart and those "remembered" were not producing art for people to consume, but rather producing pre payed, pre approved stuff that didn't need to be sold or consumed in a mass market. its a different thing, so i feel it doesn't fit to use mozart vs salieri as an example because its not the same thing.
I've been trying to articulate these idea for months, trying to find the right words without sounding whiney or self-pitying, so well done, this is well put. The closest I've gotten to putting it into words is the uncomfortable truth that, statistically, the greatest pieces of work have gone unrecognised because of circumstance (birth, poverty, race, sex, commercialism, popularity, etc), and that we can't admit that because it also implies that the work that does "make it" isn't automatically worthy either, that either way it's chance that occasionally pays off.
I've thought a lot about this, as a former professional artist that never *quite* broke through that barrier, but came a lot closer than most, and got to see just enough to recoil in horror. Now I'm in RPGs, and desperately trying to tell myself that I'm here explicitly *to make friends* and **not** to win. I think I need to write things for people, now, here, not the future. And that I probably need to finally watch Exit Through The Gift Shop. Thanks for this one.
Your comment piqued my interest I'm just a kid but all I have to say is that in my humblest opinion if you're not aiming to change the game expect to be molded by it in ways you cannot predict. If I personally ever run into success I'd hope that it's from years of work regardless of what it is because that would be the only way to keep the position that it put me in
Ja good points both of you. As a almost 40 year old who's struggled with these things most my life: these things are complicated. The best (I think) we can do is struggle with them, and try to find our own path.
There is so much vague hyperbole in your story, your medium was obviously not the written word. I politely suggest you practice writing something of substance for yourself before you have further thoughts about writing for anyone else. You see, a picture may paint a thousand words, but a thousand words can create worlds.
@@WickedPawn It's fairly simple to predict how the game can mold a player. They've done the studies. You see, games have rules, and unless they're playing Calvinball, a player can't change those rules. That would be cheating. What happens to cheaters? Well, they probably win more than people would care to admit, so long as they're never caught. So the player can't change the game. They have no control over the game or others playing the game. The only thing the player can control is how they play the game. And even then, because of the rules, the changes they make have been molded by the game. And that's usually true literally or figuratively. And sometimes the only way to win the game is to quit playing the game.
If you're an artist with these thoughts, I think it can also be helpful to situate them in the current historical context Relative to most of human history, we currently are able to compare our own work to far more people than has been the case. And there's also more of an illusion of the likelihood of fame, since we use the same online platforms as the ultra-famous. But people can only consume so much art, pay attention to so many people--there is in fact a limit of how much fame is available in the world because there is only so much attention. In the past a great many artists were successful in that they were appreciated by their immediate physical neighbors. People in their town of hundreds or village of dozens liked what they did. I think a healthier world would have to involve more art being localized to smaller communities. And if we can reframe success as success [in this specific community] I think that's a more commonly achievable goal --signed, a trans girl who sometimes performs music at small experimental music shows attended by like 7-15 people and is trying to push back against her own imposter syndrome doubts
This is so true. Which I gotta say that I didn't think of myself as an isolated artist till now. Now I gotta find a way to stop being a loner and find my own community of artists who share similar interests as I do. Also, I bet your music is really good!
This is a great point. Our present interconnectedness is awesome for many reasons, but it also comes with some caveats. Constant easy access to everyone else's art means that you can have a much wider cultural background to draw from, but it also means that you might start judging your own art against the whole background. I never thought of this, thanks for sharing.
If there is a song that makes me feel that way, is Deacon Blues by Steely Dan. "They got a name for the winners in the world // I want a name when I lose".
A double edged sword I use to keep my feet on the ground -probably too often and too precariously for my own good- is to remember that none of this will, almost certainly, last. People who are remembered for any reason for more than one or two generations are exceptionally rare and in the world of art are outright miracles. Do you even know who your greatgrandparents were? If you don't even know who your family was about 60-80 years ago, when you could just go and ask your grandparents to get your answer, how are you gonna even worry about "making it big" and having that gigantic breaktrough that "cements" you in the sands of time? The river only flows one way and it's up to you to swin the current to make the most of it or fight against it pointlessly. This can be obviously pretty depressing -"What's this all for?" is a question I ask myself almost every day- but it helps me remember that I should, in fact, do whatever I want to, because in 40 years the only person who's gonna remember if I finished that song or if I decided to jump into that pool is gonna be me. The sands of time may cast me away, but until then I won't cast away my own memories and my pasion.
Being obscure is arguably better than being recognized. The pressure to commodify art, to make art that meets expectations, to me is more crippling to my writing than the idea of “failure” every could be. To me failure is not writing. Also, fuck Banksy lol. Everyone should make art.
@@gedelgo3242 hey man, dont say that. If someone said something nasty about it, dont care. keep on going. Your art is important and there are people that care
Had a huge breakdown at the start of the year when I first saw the Exit Through The Gift Shop - I felt like Terry and felt like a fraud. Took me so much time to cope with that and still love myself even like that. And now I saw this….. thank you so much, you don’t know how much that means to me
I think, the question of the "quality" of art changes, or maybe doesn't matter, if you're presupposing art to be public? RPGs are a great example of this. Playing an rpg incorporates writing and performance, often to an audience of... 3-4 friends? Anyone else on earth might call the story you create garbage, but if it's not for them AND never seen by them, the art remains. It still exists and hopefully was enjoyed by those that experienced it.
That's a good point. Art can have a (what we call in due graphic design industry) target audience. And to try to please every one is impossible. And to realise that. And to think about what exactly it is you want to do/accomplish with your art. What I mean is: finely tune what "success" means to you.
It is important to say that fame and wealth havent always been the motivators for art. I like to think of the artists who decorated the cathedrals, the religious paintings, the artisans. They all did art, and very beautiful art, without the intention of their names being remembered forever, for the benefit of their community, for their own pleasure, and for their religious beliefs. In that they were successfull
@@cactus2260Are you sure? That might very well be the case, but I think some of them were quite popular. And got grants from noblemen and religious organizations.
It’s somehow unsurprising, baffling, disquieting and comforting that someone I consider to be one of the best writers and creatives in the ttrpg space has these feelings. I might not even ever get to the point you’re at with my own work. I might find myself far closer to a state of perpetual waiting to take off, but this helps. The feelings won’t go away from success. And I need to stop waiting.
i really like the framing of these videos being watched on youtube in the browser window, emphasizing that ultimately, these thoughts stem from being a viewer of other people's art and other people's criticism. great video
Wow, I thought this channel had way more subs when I first saw this, easily one of the highest quality video essays I've seen on youtube. Instant subscribe.
oh what, i was seriously just letting my phone auto play youtube videos while i drew and i listened to this video thinking this mustve been coming from a huge creator judging from the quality and overall vibe and what..??? you are severely underrated!!!! this is one of the best put together vids ive watched in a long time
Thanks for making this. I don't know how to convey the feeling it gives me, like I'm not alone, like the experience of perceiving myself or my work as not being good enough is not my solitary burden. That I'm just experiencing being human. Thanks for humanizing my fears.
this hits close to home. I mulled over many words, but only can come up with long ramblings. I guess in short i wanna get at having a hard time enjoying art for art's sake and that the thought of "needing/wanting/having to achieve something grand" with what i do is always looming. And while oblivion scares me, engaging in my art and seeing my friends' reaction to it has been so fulfilling. at its core art will remain deeply personal i thnk, and that includes any and all insecurities about it. I deeply enjoy your videos for their writing, what you talk about in em and how you edit them. Thank you, and i wish for good things to come your way. have a great day :)
You've definitely pinpointed some feelings every artist struggles with, whether they make it 'big' or not. For some people it's just about the monetary reward, but I think the majority of artists also desire some level of recognition of the skills they spent time acquiring, and validation for the part of themselves they put into their work. My husband, for example, has spent the past 20 years since he graduated from CCAD amassing a body of really incredible work. He actually said to me that he doesn't consider himself an artist, because he doesn't make a living from it. Then sometimes he'll look at my amateur photography and call me an artist. Both ideas are absurd to me, but I think the most important thing is to keep creating. I'm gonna show this video to him. Also, jump scare at driving footage of my hometown. 😆
This is what i worry about sharing my art. People tell me my art is good, but im always waiting for that one person to come along and say "this is shit and you should give up"
This is a really thought provoking and vulnerable video. I really loved it, thank you so much for sharing this with us. I've been having that annoying jealously too, sometimes even among my peers, like "oh gosh, when will I be cool?". But it really isn't about that. Half of art is believing that vibing on your own shit is worthwhile and meaningful, and vibing on your own shit is awesome! The other half is sharing that stuff with the world, and at that point you can't control what the narrative around you or your art will be anymore. It's complicated, it's a balance, but again, it is worthwhile to just vibe. A second thought that occurs to me after watching this video is "What about furry art?" because furry art has been meaningful, thought provoking, beautiful, fun and goofy, and so much more! Yet, only recently has furry art been given any sort of legitimacy by the wider culture. Makes me think of how sometimes, a lot of the time, you just gotta make shit for yourself and your friends, the people close to you. That art has value, maybe even more value, when it isn't even commercial, profitable or well known.
Art has never been easier to share to the world, although it's such a massive "world stage" that it can demoralizing to compare yourself to the millions of other talented artists... Thanks for making this, it resonated deeply with me
I think the only good goal is to make what makes you happy. Have fun, enjoy life. The hard part is giving up the immaculate joy of fame- or atleast the immaculate lies of fame.
Snow you're just such a wonderful person to listen to. There's a lot of talk about how we decouple art from our capital reliant existences, and that's not this videos thesis, but it still manages it with so much more delicacy than is typical. I think anyone who agrees with this video is agreeing, on some level, that the bad artists hold a noble artistic skill and value sometimes more than the ourselves who hesitate to create art at all. Who sometimes let the imposter syndrome stay their hand. I would rather be a bad artist than one on an undefined fear compelled "break". Not that that is exactly the point of the video either. Nevertheless, I ramble.
There's a beautiful irony in the fact that this video reflecting on so many things related to current artist culture, how it's making us all go a little crazy with envy, and how we should live in the now has ended up as one of your most watched videos. This video is the imposter syndrome we all feel broadcast as more than an internal monologue and I found it to be pretty good.
Introspective, well written and ties together loads of separate pieces of art and media seamlessly under the umbrella of discussing this self doubt, this insecurity that many creatives feel. Excellent video!
Failure is but unmet expectations. When people’s expectations are more informed, more compassionate and more mature, then there will be less feelings of “failure.”
People have been thinking about this for thousands of years. It's in the Chuang Tzu, it's in the Meditations of Marcus Aurelius and many other places I can't think of off the top of my head. I like the quote from the Chuang Tzu : "Can these men be said to have attained completion? If so, then so have all the rest of us. Or can they not be said to have attained completion? If so, then neither we nor anything else has ever attained it. The torch of chaos and doubt-this is what the sage steers by. So he does not use things but relegates all to the constant. This is what it means to use clarity."
Thank you for making this. I recently graduated from one of the best universities in the world, and ultimately I fell short of what I wanted to realise out of it - the potential I saw in myself, that I was supposed to be more. I put literal blood, sweat, and tears into my work, barely slept and didn't eat - only to be told I was average at best. After years of work, and suffering, and passion, and sacrifice, and being told I was and could be more, I was only average. It was supposed to be my life. My calling. My craft. And now, maybe not. It's left me entirely adrift. And it wasn't a bad grade. But I felt I was more. And now I'm just too afraid to try and be more again. To struggle like that again, to care so deeply only to fall short. The last 3 months I've felt like a shell of myself, and have not had the spark to be creative anymore. It's as if my imagination is forever stunted, and I merely just walk through a more muted world in which I once saw colour that sparked so much energy, and thought and passion. I can only hope this self doubt goes away. I'm terrified it won't This video made me feel a bit better. Thank you.
Embrace your mediocrity. I know it might sound weird, but take joy in the process of self-expression. Being told your average feels like a rejection, I know. It feels like your work is invalid. However if you’re “average”, that means there are whole communities of people like you to connect with and your creations can be a tool that fosters the relationship. Why do you want to be great at what you do? Is it a way to establish yourself as above other people like you? Or is it a way you ground yourself in the world around you and make sense of who you are? Identity can be a tool for individualism or a tool for community-making
Man this video was really good. I really relate to the part about obscurity because I regularly think about the unfathomable number of movies, games, tv shows, bands, etc that have been made and completely forgotten about. I wonder if in 50 years anybody will still remember my favorite movies and songs
the wonderful thing about putting your art out there is that any audience, no matter how small, is still an audience. there ARE people who will remember my work, even if it's just family and friends. and that, to me, is something special. a part of me living on in the minds of those who enjoyed my works.
Man. Spot on. Just as you remember those videos and they come around in thoughts this will surely be the same to me. In trying to let go of "things I can't control" and just do my best within myself and make that be enough, but it's hard. I used to think that living an average life was somehow a failure, now I realize that being remembered across history is almost impossible and it's better to not even try at that, but that being remembered by those you love, those that love you and those around you is all there is regarding what is up to you. The only thing that you have any input regarding being remembered is in how much love you put into things and give to others, and paradoxically to do that you have to stop caring about being remembered and fully put yourself in the now, which is indeed all there actually is. And just as true love for people, true love for art is doing it knowing you will get nothing out of it and it may cost you everything, yet choosing to do it regardless. And that is a scary thing to do
"Art" to me is not about the fame or the money - VanGogh had none it, in his lifetime. For every toddler out there just sprawling their feelings into lines and colors, they do art. Maybe we need to stop imposing our prejudices onto others overall, even in the world of art.
These thoughts are sometimes assuaged by me finding the randomnest stuff online and it touching me deeply. A random indie song, or essay, or poem, or drawing. Maybe I think about it only for 10 minutes and then I move on. But it makes me think: if anything I make touches even one random person for 10 minutes, then it has done its job. Everything's fleeting anyways. Having that small positive impact can be enough.
Hey so you literally drove past my apartment?? So crazy seeing anyone online remotely close to me. Anyway, took a chance on this video from my home page so thanks for the quality video!
Damn, I know im supposed to walk away from this video with the mindset of “art for art's sake and not success,” but I don't know; I just feel hollow. Not that the video did a lousy job. It's just that reality is a bitter pill, and swallowing it only makes me feel sicker.
Incredible video. I have been watching video essays for nearly 5+ years (Jacob Geller, Solar Sands, Schnee, John Bois, Emplemon, BobbyBroccoli, Not Just bikes, Summoning Salt, Noodle, Climate Town, the list goes on), and this really does stand toe to toe with it all. I'm working on creating a summation on the video essays that shaped my perspectives on life, and this one will certainly make an entry. I wish you the best of luck in life and promise whatever you choose to pursue, it will surely NOT carry the weight of mediocrity.
Hit me like truck when I needed it. Thanks for this. Just finished up a first draft and going through it in the edit and just understanding how much work there is to go, how delusional we can be when looking at our own work and how impossible it is to parse what is stylistically evocative and whats just utter tripe. What one artist got away with that you can't in your context or that you don't have the skill to recreate in the first place. Realizing your influences may be leading you astray. That maybe you don't have the ability to get out of the forest of what you think you were going to make. Im in that process now, trying to widdle away at this draft trying to make it greater, tighter, and find the book inside of it. Yet, I can't know. I can't possibly know from my own mind what Im doing wrong because I made the thing, every line is what I want in some way and somehow detaching myself to get it to be something others want feels futile. There is the initial pass of "this isn't spell right" or "this was confusing to reread now I fixed it"...but when it comes to entire characters, thoughts, profundidies, and the many things that encompass a book you can't really know. You get lost in this maze of going back to what led you to write it and what you know it should actually be to be worth reading. I can pass it onto others, they can read it, but in the end they'll only want to make it into the book they want it to be because unlike published books...they know it doesn't have to be what it is. They know that I can make it more of what they like, and so so many of those suggestions are just "this isn't for me, change it to something I enjoy"...or "do this thing everyone else is doing". They don't see what I'm trying to build and so they will ask to simply pull away the supports that could build that. How do you know? You don't. You can't. You either get the luxury of being the first wave of a zeitgeist that praises your "strong choices" or you get crushed under the weight of not doing what people want. Its fear, fear that no matter how much I hammer away at this coal it will never become a diamond. That I do not have what it takes to make a diamond. That these "strong choices" are just "bad choices". That the last year of my life spent making this draft, building the world, making the rules...was a waste because I don't have the skill of craft or talent to make what I wanted worth reading. That this idea that when I get it published the world will somehow validate what I put into it, that this struggle against our mediocrity will end up being a reality that I am simply just not built for this medium...that maybe I'm not an artist but a child playing dressup. In the end, we have to find pleasure in the act. To find pleasure in our life through our art and not build our art with this idea that it will build something into our lives that will make us happy. When we get there, we will just find something else to make us miserable. The imposter syndrome, getting blocked into making something you've lost the joy of, etc. There are so many joys in the artistic process and if we blind ourselves to the financial and prestige outcomes of what we are doing and why, we will forget what we came to these spaces to do...to create.
Thank you. I’m sure it’s tough to be in the spot you’re in, recognized by the few that give you time but not recognized enough to put food on the table. No amount of “you’re so underrated!” Comments are going to fix that - but with or without the rewards your art calls for, if you keep making videos, I’ll keep watching them. I’m glad you are in the world making cool shit. Makes it easier to also be in the world and also make cool shit.
What a great video for any creative person, I resonated with a lot of the sentiments included. Definitely one to revisit down the road, thanks for making this
This is actually a 10/10 video essay. Thank you. I needed this as an artist and filmmaker trying to do something with the small time we have on this earth.
I find comfort in the fact that everyone will be forgotten eventually in the heat death of the universe. Also, in the modern age when everyone my age puts things out into the world, there is a strange sense of comfort and virtuosity in making an effort to distance from that. I know that’s slightly off topic but ye I’ve been thinking about this a lot too, thanks for the video. If I can make art that improves even one persons life, I’ll feel pretty good
When I saw the thumbnail of this video, I thought: "Mediocrities everywhere, I absolve you. I absolve you." And then had to watch the video. I enjoyed the video and the thoughts.
feeling u need to be profound to be allowed to create things is a heart demon that gets in the way of art. creation is for its own sake, craft is for its own sake. bad art is a social good. ones merit doesnt derive from the persuit of cultivating infinite perfection. i think, most of us in this society end up with lofty aspirations beyond our abilities and circumstances, and only vanishingly few avoid having to confront these dreams failing to be vindicated. I dont want to promote stagnation or dissasociation. there is joy in self improvement and achievement. dedication is self and socially rewarding. just relieve urself of the pressure of needing to be "that guy" because then u can find the guy you are and the value you already contain. illuminate paths to growth that arent guided by fear and shame.
For people who have seen a tonne of video essays I like that we are now entering an era where ppl cite other video essays to make their own. It's almost like he is citing video essays like scientists cite research papers
This video has been in my watchlist for a few days now, too scared to play it right away because it speaks too close to home. My biggest fear is being mediocre. And I hate that it's the kind of fear that stops me. I keep writing, and singing and having ideas but never finishing them because: what if it's not good enough? What if I think it's my best and everyone else thinks it's just.... not good? Imposter's syndrome is such a hard feeling to get when you KNOW that you cannot live without art...
This showed up on my feed and I was definitely taken in by the title (it reminds me of musingsofacrouton's video on JLO). As an artist, falling into mediocrity and failure has always weighed on me. I like your stance on it, and appreciate the self-reflection. Subscribed!
What an incredible video. Spectacular scriptwriting. I’m not really a proper artist but the last line of your script hit me real hard. Thanks for this snow. Keep going.
Great essay, snow! And I share many of your fears. Depending on aligning your creative planets with the current Zeitgeist is a tricky business-I think most successful artists know at this point that part of what brought them to where they are was sheer dumb luck. Was simply a matter of timing. Still, perhaps there's something there about niche notoriety. I remember this podcast where Mark Rosewater, Magic the Gathering's lead designer, described his kind of fame. How he feels he's a proper celebrity if he goes to ComicCon or even if he enters a local game shop, signing autographs and having people cry in front of him. But when he walks around his neighbourhood, he's just a normal person. He can blend in, and be unremarkable. That sounds like a strange and enticing possibility-I wonder how common it is.
just profound as I realize there really is no bar to ever reach or climb because…you’d miss the now and not realize the then could never come one day because it’s not guaranteed so you might as well do something anyways.
Also love your cadence, this was all comprehensible and one of the first videos I could completely watch(I stopped halfway cause I had things to do) but came back to finish it all anyways. Wow, life just is.
damn.... wow. 14 years as a musician. Last year is the first year I've genuinely gotten traction with my music and.... all of this has gone through my head over the years. This honestly feels, so validating. Like I'm not crazy for feeling like this. Thank you. It's really eye opening
My feed has been recommending this video to me for days and I've been resisting watching it, until now. What a mistake that was! Thanks alot for the great video
I see artistic creation as something you must like for the process itself. My band may never become famous, but it's ok because my motivation is making music, pushing myself, playing shows, accomplishing stuff. Whether it reaches a wide audience or not is ultimately outside of my control, so I don't worry about it. The best you can do is your best.
i relate a lot as an artist. i find that creating with others in mind often drains me of excitement i had about my own work before i shared it. maybe the solution is to set your goal to be to please yourself, rather than anyone else by this many likes or that many comments or lots of followers. a social media presence along the lines of 'i did this for myself, and you got to see it because you walked by'
I’m glad to hear this perspective. There’s always been something that’s left me an uncomfortable when it comes to critiquing “bad art” and the idea that everyone can make art. Ultimately I agree with the critics’ points but there’s a tinge of bitterness. I think your musings on the topic help grapple with that complexity - and your artistic voice was great. Your personal introspection really drove the point home.
this is the first video I watched without distraction in.... a long time lol. no staring at my phone, (watching on computer) no going to text my friends or scroll tumblr... i just put it in fullscreen and watched all the way through. I really like your editing style. (I am full of thoughts but no coherent sentences so that's all i can say now)
What a great freaking video. Loved it. I try to focus on creating for its own sake. That the the couple thousand or even couple hundred people that see a thing... that's enough. That my friends and family see/experience a thing I created... that's enough. Of course getting a larger audience would be nice, getting money would be nice, but I think eventually you have to be content with putting a thing out there and it getting the exposure it gets.
I'm not an artist but have difficulties with this sort of stuff at work and in life. I feel miserable because I focus too much on what I should be and not enough on the process. It's ok to be mediocre at something as long as I still feel progress. Thank you for your ramblings.
Very well executed video. It's hits on a whole plethora of emotions you have when making things and seeing how other people receive them. Make more things.
I’m a physicist who often thinks about creating something, anything. But I probably never will seriously. I’m the artist that will never even fail. I simply never will be.
Last night I performed a show to about 30 people and afterwards got talking to a fellow musician about this. We have to simultaneously enjoy where we are at while also being ambitious to want more. Not an easy balance to achieve because you can easily tip over into either complacency and stagnation or eternal disappointment and dissatisfaction. I have to allow myself to be happy now and not rely on 'making it' as a precondition.
Humbly beg to differ. To create is joy in and of itself, it's not necessity and many people simply won't make anything. The process is the joy. Thinking of others is in itself aberration of the creative process. As to make something uniquely your own can only come from you, not you and your worries of others, that's not you that's not art. There's a great story about miyamoto Musashi presenting a painting of a Phoenix to the emperor regarding this idea around art. Look into it if what I mentioned makes sense
FWIW, I’m a visually impaired artist. I’ve spent a lifetime watching people who swear they’re “not good at art” go to art or painting classes with me and produce something way better. I’ve taught people how to crochet who end up making tighter pieces than mine because they have better fine motor control. And it HURTS sometimes. But I like the process. It feels good. I like the making and the painting and the drawing and the stitching. And every time I think of giving that up, it hurts so much more. And sometimes, I make a painting I feel so proud of, I wanna share it. A sweater so good and tight, I wear it. A piece worthy of gifting or sharing. And for those highs, I’ll keep going, even amidst all the mess and struggle and fear that it’s all just a waste.
This video was fantastic. Thank you for verbalizing so much truth about imposter syndrome and the fear of obscurity or time wasted and hell, even how I think it affects all of us when we see how others discuss other creators.
I've been taking pictures for over 20 years now, and I've got quite a few of them stored up on my computer and on Flickr (over 3,000 on that site). I've struggled with fully embracing a purpose, meaning, am I taking photographs for me or for others? Who am I trying to make happy? I've certainly chased the approval of others all that time, although I live in a desert and praise is rain.
But, even with limited exposure and limited engagement from others, and the disappointment that provides, I'm not interested in stopping. I see differently now, whether I have a camera in my hands or not, I pay attention to things in different ways and I like the way they change the way I experience the world. I enjoy having a picture or type of picture in mind and occasionally building up enough skill to achieve it, especially when the success may be years in coming.
And still, though, it hurts me that I have thousands of photographs I'm proud enough of to post online and almost certainly only a vanishingly small number of people will ever see them, and an even smaller number will feel anything about them at all. I do want to share them, I do want to engage with others about them. I'm a social being so of course I want that.
But. But. Knowing I likely will never get to know that what I did impacted anyone else won't stop me taking pictures. I won't stop. It'll probably continue to hurt, but I won't stop. Because, as you say, stopping would feel worse.
Story time.
When I was about 12, I got a blanket my grandma had crocheted for me. It was absolutely hideous: purple, gray, brown, and blue. But we were poor, and it kept me warm. So I kept it on my bed. My girlfriend called it the "ugly pretty blanket" one day. I asked her why. The first part was obvious, and the second is why I'm crying right now. "It took her who knows how long to make this. And the whole time, she was thinking about you. This is love made manifest." I had it for 25 years, sitting on the foot of my bed. It eventually became too worn, so I got rid of it. I later told my dad to ask her to make a new one for me. He looked at me like I was an alien and said "She hasn't been able to crochet for years. She's in her 80s." (Arthritis sucks) She passed a few years ago, and I really wish I could wrap up in that blanket and look at the rain that's pouring right now.
Please don't let your brain convince you that your skills aren't enough. It's not about the quality of the thing, but the quantity of love you have for the recipient.
Now I'm going to get into bed, wrap up in a shitty Walmart blanket, and cry myself to sleep while I think about how much I miss that very weird woman.
We all need an outlet and not keep things bottled up. Otherwise, that positive creative energy turns into something dark and destructive. Even if it doesn't make you money or bring you appreciation, do it to express yourself.
You taught those people how to crochet. You gave that to them. Your art is in the work you consider better than your "own". Your art is in their respect for you. Your art is in them. Don't take that away from yourself. We all stand on the shoulders of giants, and are giants on whose shoulders others stand
Sounds like an ego issue, truth be told.
the mediocre brushstroke is more impactful than the 1 that is never made.
Progress will always triumph over perfection.
i don't agree. i'd rather less people tried it to be honest. me included.
Amd thats folks how you get daily wire and its network
I agree, i wish they never tried
They are also malicious
No
Test your theory by painting a brown stripe on your bathroom wall
Terry had CPSTD and was using art and recording memories to cope with his fears. How human.
I haven’t seen the documentary this is from, but honestly the very concept of Banksy seeing someone do this and coming to the conclusion “some people shouldn’t make art” pisses me off to an extreme degree. Banksy himself is a parody of what he once stood for, the fact he looked at this situation and even thought that just shows how immature he is as a person.
I know thinking this is antithetical to this video, but part of me does think there is something wrong with the art world that one of the most famous artists in existence right now will just openly rip into someone doing something like this and see almost no pushback. Again, haven’t watched the documentary, but I feel like if I did I’d just be upset about it because of this.
Real
“Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try Again. Fail again. Fail better.” - Samuel Beckett
Being forgotten used to scare the shit out of me. Until I realized how many mistakes I've made and how some of them hurt people deeply. My own insignificance and the knowledge that I'll be forgotten after a while was a warm comforting blanket after that.
I will remember this comment, always.
It all depends on what you want out of life. I pounded nails for 45 years. I was a carpenter. One day I stood up and looked around and said, I've had enough.
I thought back, over years and years of jobs that I worked on. I tried to remember the people's faces, the customers I worked for and it all became a blur.
I tried to recall where I was in a particular year and finally had to Google songs and find the release date to find out what year it was when I worked on a certain job and everything coalesced into a hodge podge of visions in my brain and it turns out in the final analyses that it don't matter.
Jesus. That was horrifying.
What do you do now?
I mean it did matter for the people you worked for even if you don’t remember them and they don’t remember you, your work was there serving its purpose and while one day it will all be redone the lives you have inadvertently touched will never be
That's not you, that's the lack of community plaguing this earth, that's capitalism.
sorry to hear man :/
Ironic that Banksy would call someone else a fraud. Diabolical.
I've had a lot of the same feelings for the longest time -- what finally dispelled it was watching Defunctland's video (documentary) on the Disney Channel's theme.
To summarize: As much as we want our biggest, greatest, longest, most prestigious works to be remembered, ultimately we have zero control over our legacy. And that there is great dignity in even our smallest works, because there is always a chance it might connect with someone.
So you should create diligently, constantly, and give it as much effort as you give everything else, which is absolutely everything.
Amen. 🙏🏿✊🏿💯
Fun fact you can see banksy without obfuscation in that last lunch scene of 'exit through the gift shop'. He's a middle aged blocke with a bit of beer belly. You can recognise his hands as the banksy's by comparing it to earlier shots in the movie. Cheers!
Clicked a 50 view video and you won me over on the first sentence. Exit through the gift shop is a must watch for anyone interested in how art works commercially
After finishing the video i thinm we have a different view of exit through the gift shop. In my view yes the artists are laughing at mr brainwash for being mediocre, for phoning it in, for not being genuine and just copying work and not even creating the art himself but instead using assistants to create them nearly completely. BUT! We as the viewer cam see that while all of this may be true, he is having just as much success as any of them if not more. To me as a viewer there is a intense irony i laughing at an artist and claiming they are not as real/genuine/good, while they are just as successful in prividing what the market wants. To me mr brainwash is an artist that is simply exercising the wrong art. His art is not the paintings and sculptures, but instead the act and character of mr brainwash. He feels no inhibition of creating something mediocre and forgetful, and the other artists in the movie are mad that he does not have this fear that all of them feel.
@@psycl0n3 very interesting take. altough i think something negative can be said about people that feel no fear of flooding the world with mediocrity. frankly i think art is completely, utterly dead. there is nothing left . not even the so called greats of today are great at all. people, as usual, will always be the center problem of this thing. producing things for people to consume and throw away is hell. i always felt that mozart and those "remembered" were not producing art for people to consume, but rather producing pre payed, pre approved stuff that didn't need to be sold or consumed in a mass market. its a different thing, so i feel it doesn't fit to use mozart vs salieri as an example because its not the same thing.
@@dfghj241you just cannot possibly believe that and not be at the very least suicidally depressed
@@jackrowland4629 i never said i WASNT suicidally depressed did i?
@@dfghj241How can you say that art is dead when there's so much of it being made all the time that you'll never see?
I've been trying to articulate these idea for months, trying to find the right words without sounding whiney or self-pitying, so well done, this is well put. The closest I've gotten to putting it into words is the uncomfortable truth that, statistically, the greatest pieces of work have gone unrecognised because of circumstance (birth, poverty, race, sex, commercialism, popularity, etc), and that we can't admit that because it also implies that the work that does "make it" isn't automatically worthy either, that either way it's chance that occasionally pays off.
I've thought a lot about this, as a former professional artist that never *quite* broke through that barrier, but came a lot closer than most, and got to see just enough to recoil in horror. Now I'm in RPGs, and desperately trying to tell myself that I'm here explicitly *to make friends* and **not** to win. I think I need to write things for people, now, here, not the future. And that I probably need to finally watch Exit Through The Gift Shop. Thanks for this one.
Your comment piqued my interest I'm just a kid but all I have to say is that in my humblest opinion if you're not aiming to change the game expect to be molded by it in ways you cannot predict. If I personally ever run into success I'd hope that it's from years of work regardless of what it is because that would be the only way to keep the position that it put me in
Ja good points both of you. As a almost 40 year old who's struggled with these things most my life: these things are complicated. The best (I think) we can do is struggle with them, and try to find our own path.
@kattkrisch may I ask your age?
There is so much vague hyperbole in your story, your medium was obviously not the written word. I politely suggest you practice writing something of substance for yourself before you have further thoughts about writing for anyone else. You see, a picture may paint a thousand words, but a thousand words can create worlds.
@@WickedPawn It's fairly simple to predict how the game can mold a player. They've done the studies. You see, games have rules, and unless they're playing Calvinball, a player can't change those rules. That would be cheating. What happens to cheaters? Well, they probably win more than people would care to admit, so long as they're never caught. So the player can't change the game. They have no control over the game or others playing the game. The only thing the player can control is how they play the game. And even then, because of the rules, the changes they make have been molded by the game. And that's usually true literally or figuratively. And sometimes the only way to win the game is to quit playing the game.
If you're an artist with these thoughts, I think it can also be helpful to situate them in the current historical context
Relative to most of human history, we currently are able to compare our own work to far more people than has been the case. And there's also more of an illusion of the likelihood of fame, since we use the same online platforms as the ultra-famous. But people can only consume so much art, pay attention to so many people--there is in fact a limit of how much fame is available in the world because there is only so much attention.
In the past a great many artists were successful in that they were appreciated by their immediate physical neighbors. People in their town of hundreds or village of dozens liked what they did.
I think a healthier world would have to involve more art being localized to smaller communities. And if we can reframe success as success [in this specific community] I think that's a more commonly achievable goal
--signed, a trans girl who sometimes performs music at small experimental music shows attended by like 7-15 people and is trying to push back against her own
imposter syndrome doubts
This is so true. Which I gotta say that I didn't think of myself as an isolated artist till now. Now I gotta find a way to stop being a loner and find my own community of artists who share similar interests as I do. Also, I bet your music is really good!
reclaiming community and culture one analogue experience at a time :3.
This is a great point. Our present interconnectedness is awesome for many reasons, but it also comes with some caveats. Constant easy access to everyone else's art means that you can have a much wider cultural background to draw from, but it also means that you might start judging your own art against the whole background.
I never thought of this, thanks for sharing.
This is very well worded!
Wow I feel so seen with this comment. Cultivating my own community has been burned in the back of my mind but I just don’t know how I can start
If there is a song that makes me feel that way, is Deacon Blues by Steely Dan. "They got a name for the winners in the world // I want a name when I lose".
Such a deep song. Great call
An artist must be their number one fan, their number one curator, their number one critic
A double edged sword I use to keep my feet on the ground -probably too often and too precariously for my own good- is to remember that none of this will, almost certainly, last. People who are remembered for any reason for more than one or two generations are exceptionally rare and in the world of art are outright miracles. Do you even know who your greatgrandparents were? If you don't even know who your family was about 60-80 years ago, when you could just go and ask your grandparents to get your answer, how are you gonna even worry about "making it big" and having that gigantic breaktrough that "cements" you in the sands of time? The river only flows one way and it's up to you to swin the current to make the most of it or fight against it pointlessly. This can be obviously pretty depressing -"What's this all for?" is a question I ask myself almost every day- but it helps me remember that I should, in fact, do whatever I want to, because in 40 years the only person who's gonna remember if I finished that song or if I decided to jump into that pool is gonna be me. The sands of time may cast me away, but until then I won't cast away my own memories and my pasion.
Being obscure is arguably better than being recognized. The pressure to commodify art, to make art that meets expectations, to me is more crippling to my writing than the idea of “failure” every could be.
To me failure is not writing.
Also, fuck Banksy lol. Everyone should make art.
none of my art ever made it off of my hard drive - history cant judge me
Why, I wanna see it
Me too.
i'd love to see
OH, but we can! I'm already judging for not putting your art out there! >: (
@@gedelgo3242 hey man, dont say that. If someone said something nasty about it, dont care. keep on going. Your art is important and there are people that care
Had a huge breakdown at the start of the year when I first saw the Exit Through The Gift Shop - I felt like Terry and felt like a fraud. Took me so much time to cope with that and still love myself even like that. And now I saw this….. thank you so much, you don’t know how much that means to me
I think, the question of the "quality" of art changes, or maybe doesn't matter, if you're presupposing art to be public?
RPGs are a great example of this. Playing an rpg incorporates writing and performance, often to an audience of... 3-4 friends? Anyone else on earth might call the story you create garbage, but if it's not for them AND never seen by them, the art remains. It still exists and hopefully was enjoyed by those that experienced it.
That's a good point. Art can have a (what we call in due graphic design industry) target audience. And to try to please every one is impossible. And to realise that. And to think about what exactly it is you want to do/accomplish with your art. What I mean is: finely tune what "success" means to you.
It is important to say that fame and wealth havent always been the motivators for art. I like to think of the artists who decorated the cathedrals, the religious paintings, the artisans. They all did art, and very beautiful art, without the intention of their names being remembered forever, for the benefit of their community, for their own pleasure, and for their religious beliefs. In that they were successfull
@@cactus2260Are you sure? That might very well be the case, but I think some of them were quite popular. And got grants from noblemen and religious organizations.
@@danlightened that's until way later however, global fame was not the asspiration of artists
It’s somehow unsurprising, baffling, disquieting and comforting that someone I consider to be one of the best writers and creatives in the ttrpg space has these feelings. I might not even ever get to the point you’re at with my own work. I might find myself far closer to a state of perpetual waiting to take off, but this helps. The feelings won’t go away from success. And I need to stop waiting.
A fantastic watch covering many feelings I've had for a long time. Thank you.
i really like the framing of these videos being watched on youtube in the browser window, emphasizing that ultimately, these thoughts stem from being a viewer of other people's art and other people's criticism. great video
Wow, I thought this channel had way more subs when I first saw this, easily one of the highest quality video essays I've seen on youtube. Instant subscribe.
oh what, i was seriously just letting my phone auto play youtube videos while i drew and i listened to this video thinking this mustve been coming from a huge creator judging from the quality and overall vibe and what..??? you are severely underrated!!!! this is one of the best put together vids ive watched in a long time
Thanks for making this. I don't know how to convey the feeling it gives me, like I'm not alone, like the experience of perceiving myself or my work as not being good enough is not my solitary burden. That I'm just experiencing being human. Thanks for humanizing my fears.
this hits close to home.
I mulled over many words, but only can come up with long ramblings. I guess in short i wanna get at having a hard time enjoying art for art's sake and that the thought of "needing/wanting/having to achieve something grand" with what i do is always looming. And while oblivion scares me, engaging in my art and seeing my friends' reaction to it has been so fulfilling.
at its core art will remain deeply personal i thnk, and that includes any and all insecurities about it.
I deeply enjoy your videos for their writing, what you talk about in em and how you edit them.
Thank you, and i wish for good things to come your way. have a great day :)
I love it when the UA-cam algorithm actually gives me people like you. Gem of a video, about to listen to more of your stuff now
You've definitely pinpointed some feelings every artist struggles with, whether they make it 'big' or not. For some people it's just about the monetary reward, but I think the majority of artists also desire some level of recognition of the skills they spent time acquiring, and validation for the part of themselves they put into their work.
My husband, for example, has spent the past 20 years since he graduated from CCAD amassing a body of really incredible work. He actually said to me that he doesn't consider himself an artist, because he doesn't make a living from it. Then sometimes he'll look at my amateur photography and call me an artist. Both ideas are absurd to me, but I think the most important thing is to keep creating.
I'm gonna show this video to him.
Also, jump scare at driving footage of my hometown. 😆
I was on the same train of thought, “I am the Patron Saint of Mediocrity!”
This is what i worry about sharing my art. People tell me my art is good, but im always waiting for that one person to come along and say "this is shit and you should give up"
This is a really thought provoking and vulnerable video. I really loved it, thank you so much for sharing this with us. I've been having that annoying jealously too, sometimes even among my peers, like "oh gosh, when will I be cool?". But it really isn't about that. Half of art is believing that vibing on your own shit is worthwhile and meaningful, and vibing on your own shit is awesome! The other half is sharing that stuff with the world, and at that point you can't control what the narrative around you or your art will be anymore. It's complicated, it's a balance, but again, it is worthwhile to just vibe.
A second thought that occurs to me after watching this video is "What about furry art?" because furry art has been meaningful, thought provoking, beautiful, fun and goofy, and so much more! Yet, only recently has furry art been given any sort of legitimacy by the wider culture. Makes me think of how sometimes, a lot of the time, you just gotta make shit for yourself and your friends, the people close to you. That art has value, maybe even more value, when it isn't even commercial, profitable or well known.
Art has never been easier to share to the world, although it's such a massive "world stage" that it can demoralizing to compare yourself to the millions of other talented artists...
Thanks for making this, it resonated deeply with me
I think the only good goal is to make what makes you happy.
Have fun, enjoy life.
The hard part is giving up the immaculate joy of fame- or atleast the immaculate lies of fame.
Snow you're just such a wonderful person to listen to. There's a lot of talk about how we decouple art from our capital reliant existences, and that's not this videos thesis, but it still manages it with so much more delicacy than is typical. I think anyone who agrees with this video is agreeing, on some level, that the bad artists hold a noble artistic skill and value sometimes more than the ourselves who hesitate to create art at all. Who sometimes let the imposter syndrome stay their hand. I would rather be a bad artist than one on an undefined fear compelled "break". Not that that is exactly the point of the video either. Nevertheless, I ramble.
What a beautifully vulnerable and honest video. Dare I say... a work of art. :^)
There's a beautiful irony in the fact that this video reflecting on so many things related to current artist culture, how it's making us all go a little crazy with envy, and how we should live in the now has ended up as one of your most watched videos.
This video is the imposter syndrome we all feel broadcast as more than an internal monologue and I found it to be pretty good.
Introspective, well written and ties together loads of separate pieces of art and media seamlessly under the umbrella of discussing this self doubt, this insecurity that many creatives feel. Excellent video!
Failure is but unmet expectations. When people’s expectations are more informed, more compassionate and more mature, then there will be less feelings of “failure.”
As a writer and fledgling game developer, this was a fantastic piece. Really hits home.
The moment I stopped caring about success, the happier I became as an artist.
People have been thinking about this for thousands of years. It's in the Chuang Tzu, it's in the Meditations of Marcus Aurelius and many other places I can't think of off the top of my head. I like the quote from the Chuang Tzu : "Can these men be said to have attained completion? If so, then so have all the rest of us. Or can they not be said to have attained completion? If so, then neither we nor anything else has ever attained it. The torch of chaos and doubt-this is what the sage steers by. So he does not use things but relegates all to the constant. This is what it means to use clarity."
the beauty of a failed project is that you can learn what /doesn't/ work
Thank you for making this. I recently graduated from one of the best universities in the world, and ultimately I fell short of what I wanted to realise out of it - the potential I saw in myself, that I was supposed to be more. I put literal blood, sweat, and tears into my work, barely slept and didn't eat - only to be told I was average at best. After years of work, and suffering, and passion, and sacrifice, and being told I was and could be more, I was only average. It was supposed to be my life. My calling. My craft. And now, maybe not. It's left me entirely adrift. And it wasn't a bad grade. But I felt I was more. And now I'm just too afraid to try and be more again. To struggle like that again, to care so deeply only to fall short. The last 3 months I've felt like a shell of myself, and have not had the spark to be creative anymore. It's as if my imagination is forever stunted, and I merely just walk through a more muted world in which I once saw colour that sparked so much energy, and thought and passion.
I can only hope this self doubt goes away. I'm terrified it won't This video made me feel a bit better. Thank you.
Embrace your mediocrity. I know it might sound weird, but take joy in the process of self-expression. Being told your average feels like a rejection, I know. It feels like your work is invalid. However if you’re “average”, that means there are whole communities of people like you to connect with and your creations can be a tool that fosters the relationship.
Why do you want to be great at what you do? Is it a way to establish yourself as above other people like you? Or is it a way you ground yourself in the world around you and make sense of who you are? Identity can be a tool for individualism or a tool for community-making
These are exactly the thoughts and fears i've been having for the past few months. So validating to hear them put so eloquently.
Man this video was really good. I really relate to the part about obscurity because I regularly think about the unfathomable number of movies, games, tv shows, bands, etc that have been made and completely forgotten about. I wonder if in 50 years anybody will still remember my favorite movies and songs
I needed to hear this. Thank you!
This is fantastic work. I haven't seen a video essay that has moved me this much in a long time.
the wonderful thing about putting your art out there is that any audience, no matter how small, is still an audience. there ARE people who will remember my work, even if it's just family and friends. and that, to me, is something special. a part of me living on in the minds of those who enjoyed my works.
This is really cool. Thank you for making this.
Man. Spot on. Just as you remember those videos and they come around in thoughts this will surely be the same to me. In trying to let go of "things I can't control" and just do my best within myself and make that be enough, but it's hard. I used to think that living an average life was somehow a failure, now I realize that being remembered across history is almost impossible and it's better to not even try at that, but that being remembered by those you love, those that love you and those around you is all there is regarding what is up to you. The only thing that you have any input regarding being remembered is in how much love you put into things and give to others, and paradoxically to do that you have to stop caring about being remembered and fully put yourself in the now, which is indeed all there actually is. And just as true love for people, true love for art is doing it knowing you will get nothing out of it and it may cost you everything, yet choosing to do it regardless. And that is a scary thing to do
"Art" to me is not about the fame or the money - VanGogh had none it, in his lifetime.
For every toddler out there just sprawling their feelings into lines and colors, they do art.
Maybe we need to stop imposing our prejudices onto others overall, even in the world of art.
Especially in the world of art!
our time on earth is fucking short and its pointless to idolise acclaim and wealth and inevitably be disappointed
These thoughts are sometimes assuaged by me finding the randomnest stuff online and it touching me deeply. A random indie song, or essay, or poem, or drawing. Maybe I think about it only for 10 minutes and then I move on. But it makes me think: if anything I make touches even one random person for 10 minutes, then it has done its job. Everything's fleeting anyways. Having that small positive impact can be enough.
Hey so you literally drove past my apartment?? So crazy seeing anyone online remotely close to me. Anyway, took a chance on this video from my home page so thanks for the quality video!
small world!
Damn, I know im supposed to walk away from this video with the mindset of “art for art's sake and not success,” but I don't know; I just feel hollow. Not that the video did a lousy job. It's just that reality is a bitter pill, and swallowing it only makes me feel sicker.
Incredible video. I have been watching video essays for nearly 5+ years (Jacob Geller, Solar Sands, Schnee, John Bois, Emplemon, BobbyBroccoli, Not Just bikes, Summoning Salt, Noodle, Climate Town, the list goes on), and this really does stand toe to toe with it all. I'm working on creating a summation on the video essays that shaped my perspectives on life, and this one will certainly make an entry. I wish you the best of luck in life and promise whatever you choose to pursue, it will surely NOT carry the weight of mediocrity.
Hit me like truck when I needed it. Thanks for this.
Just finished up a first draft and going through it in the edit and just understanding how much work there is to go, how delusional we can be when looking at our own work and how impossible it is to parse what is stylistically evocative and whats just utter tripe. What one artist got away with that you can't in your context or that you don't have the skill to recreate in the first place. Realizing your influences may be leading you astray. That maybe you don't have the ability to get out of the forest of what you think you were going to make.
Im in that process now, trying to widdle away at this draft trying to make it greater, tighter, and find the book inside of it. Yet, I can't know. I can't possibly know from my own mind what Im doing wrong because I made the thing, every line is what I want in some way and somehow detaching myself to get it to be something others want feels futile. There is the initial pass of "this isn't spell right" or "this was confusing to reread now I fixed it"...but when it comes to entire characters, thoughts, profundidies, and the many things that encompass a book you can't really know. You get lost in this maze of going back to what led you to write it and what you know it should actually be to be worth reading. I can pass it onto others, they can read it, but in the end they'll only want to make it into the book they want it to be because unlike published books...they know it doesn't have to be what it is. They know that I can make it more of what they like, and so so many of those suggestions are just "this isn't for me, change it to something I enjoy"...or "do this thing everyone else is doing". They don't see what I'm trying to build and so they will ask to simply pull away the supports that could build that. How do you know? You don't. You can't. You either get the luxury of being the first wave of a zeitgeist that praises your "strong choices" or you get crushed under the weight of not doing what people want.
Its fear, fear that no matter how much I hammer away at this coal it will never become a diamond. That I do not have what it takes to make a diamond. That these "strong choices" are just "bad choices". That the last year of my life spent making this draft, building the world, making the rules...was a waste because I don't have the skill of craft or talent to make what I wanted worth reading. That this idea that when I get it published the world will somehow validate what I put into it, that this struggle against our mediocrity will end up being a reality that I am simply just not built for this medium...that maybe I'm not an artist but a child playing dressup.
In the end, we have to find pleasure in the act. To find pleasure in our life through our art and not build our art with this idea that it will build something into our lives that will make us happy. When we get there, we will just find something else to make us miserable. The imposter syndrome, getting blocked into making something you've lost the joy of, etc. There are so many joys in the artistic process and if we blind ourselves to the financial and prestige outcomes of what we are doing and why, we will forget what we came to these spaces to do...to create.
Thank you. I’m sure it’s tough to be in the spot you’re in, recognized by the few that give you time but not recognized enough to put food on the table. No amount of “you’re so underrated!” Comments are going to fix that - but with or without the rewards your art calls for, if you keep making videos, I’ll keep watching them. I’m glad you are in the world making cool shit. Makes it easier to also be in the world and also make cool shit.
you are a fantastic content creator. thank you for this video
What a great video for any creative person, I resonated with a lot of the sentiments included. Definitely one to revisit down the road, thanks for making this
This is actually a 10/10 video essay. Thank you. I needed this as an artist and filmmaker trying to do something with the small time we have on this earth.
Girl this was beautiful
I find comfort in the fact that everyone will be forgotten eventually in the heat death of the universe. Also, in the modern age when everyone my age puts things out into the world, there is a strange sense of comfort and virtuosity in making an effort to distance from that. I know that’s slightly off topic but ye
I’ve been thinking about this a lot too, thanks for the video. If I can make art that improves even one persons life, I’ll feel pretty good
Love your video so much, dude. Made me think. Look at the people in the comments all throwing paragraphs at you! Inspiring!
When I saw the thumbnail of this video, I thought: "Mediocrities everywhere, I absolve you. I absolve you." And then had to watch the video. I enjoyed the video and the thoughts.
feeling u need to be profound to be allowed to create things is a heart demon that gets in the way of art. creation is for its own sake, craft is for its own sake.
bad art is a social good.
ones merit doesnt derive from the persuit of cultivating infinite perfection.
i think, most of us in this society end up with lofty aspirations beyond our abilities and circumstances, and only vanishingly few avoid having to confront these dreams failing to be vindicated.
I dont want to promote stagnation or dissasociation. there is joy in self improvement and achievement. dedication is self and socially rewarding.
just relieve urself of the pressure of needing to be "that guy" because then u can find the guy you are and the value you already contain.
illuminate paths to growth that arent guided by fear and shame.
For people who have seen a tonne of video essays I like that we are now entering an era where ppl cite other video essays to make their own. It's almost like he is citing video essays like scientists cite research papers
This video has been in my watchlist for a few days now, too scared to play it right away because it speaks too close to home. My biggest fear is being mediocre. And I hate that it's the kind of fear that stops me. I keep writing, and singing and having ideas but never finishing them because: what if it's not good enough? What if I think it's my best and everyone else thinks it's just.... not good?
Imposter's syndrome is such a hard feeling to get when you KNOW that you cannot live without art...
Thank you for this video. Remember everyone - your art, at the end of the day, is for you.
This showed up on my feed and I was definitely taken in by the title (it reminds me of musingsofacrouton's video on JLO). As an artist, falling into mediocrity and failure has always weighed on me. I like your stance on it, and appreciate the self-reflection. Subscribed!
This hit hard. Great work!
What an incredible video. Spectacular scriptwriting. I’m not really a proper artist but the last line of your script hit me real hard. Thanks for this snow. Keep going.
Great essay, snow! And I share many of your fears.
Depending on aligning your creative planets with the current Zeitgeist is a tricky business-I think most successful artists know at this point that part of what brought them to where they are was sheer dumb luck. Was simply a matter of timing.
Still, perhaps there's something there about niche notoriety.
I remember this podcast where Mark Rosewater, Magic the Gathering's lead designer, described his kind of fame. How he feels he's a proper celebrity if he goes to ComicCon or even if he enters a local game shop, signing autographs and having people cry in front of him. But when he walks around his neighbourhood, he's just a normal person. He can blend in, and be unremarkable.
That sounds like a strange and enticing possibility-I wonder how common it is.
You've created something from start to finish, and in my mind that means your a successful artist. I hope your rewarded handsomely for it one day
thank you for this 💫
just profound as I realize there really is no bar to ever reach or climb because…you’d miss the now and not realize the then could never come one day because it’s not guaranteed so you might as well do something anyways.
Also love your cadence, this was all comprehensible and one of the first videos I could completely watch(I stopped halfway cause I had things to do) but came back to finish it all anyways. Wow, life just is.
My god what a good video. This hits deep 😢
damn....
wow.
14 years as a musician. Last year is the first year I've genuinely gotten traction with my music and.... all of this has gone through my head over the years.
This honestly feels, so validating. Like I'm not crazy for feeling like this. Thank you. It's really eye opening
SUCH A NICE CONCLUDING CLIP TO THE VID ESSAY! im in awe... starryeyed...
I saw this when it first came out and didn't know what i was getting into. Great film that takes you on a ride
My feed has been recommending this video to me for days and I've been resisting watching it, until now. What a mistake that was! Thanks alot for the great video
I see artistic creation as something you must like for the process itself. My band may never become famous, but it's ok because my motivation is making music, pushing myself, playing shows, accomplishing stuff. Whether it reaches a wide audience or not is ultimately outside of my control, so I don't worry about it. The best you can do is your best.
This video was a breath of fresh air. Thank you.
This was very moving, thank you.
i relate a lot as an artist. i find that creating with others in mind often drains me of excitement i had about my own work before i shared it. maybe the solution is to set your goal to be to please yourself, rather than anyone else by this many likes or that many comments or lots of followers. a social media presence along the lines of 'i did this for myself, and you got to see it because you walked by'
Whoa! This shook me. Exactly what I needed to hear. Great vid 👍🏼
I’m glad to hear this perspective. There’s always been something that’s left me an uncomfortable when it comes to critiquing “bad art” and the idea that everyone can make art. Ultimately I agree with the critics’ points but there’s a tinge of bitterness.
I think your musings on the topic help grapple with that complexity - and your artistic voice was great. Your personal introspection really drove the point home.
this is the first video I watched without distraction in.... a long time lol. no staring at my phone, (watching on computer) no going to text my friends or scroll tumblr... i just put it in fullscreen and watched all the way through. I really like your editing style. (I am full of thoughts but no coherent sentences so that's all i can say now)
Yo dude. uh, this is like one of the best youtube videos I have ever seen, so thank you for that, and stuff
What a great freaking video. Loved it.
I try to focus on creating for its own sake. That the the couple thousand or even couple hundred people that see a thing... that's enough. That my friends and family see/experience a thing I created... that's enough. Of course getting a larger audience would be nice, getting money would be nice, but I think eventually you have to be content with putting a thing out there and it getting the exposure it gets.
I'm not an artist but have difficulties with this sort of stuff at work and in life. I feel miserable because I focus too much on what I should be and not enough on the process. It's ok to be mediocre at something as long as I still feel progress. Thank you for your ramblings.
Very well executed video. It's hits on a whole plethora of emotions you have when making things and seeing how other people receive them. Make more things.
Damn dude you have an incredible voice! I loved this, it's such a good exploration of those feelings we feel as artists
I’m a physicist who often thinks about creating something, anything. But I probably never will seriously. I’m the artist that will never even fail. I simply never will be.
Last night I performed a show to about 30 people and afterwards got talking to a fellow musician about this. We have to simultaneously enjoy where we are at while also being ambitious to want more. Not an easy balance to achieve because you can easily tip over into either complacency and stagnation or eternal disappointment and dissatisfaction. I have to allow myself to be happy now and not rely on 'making it' as a precondition.
this video broke my heart and put it back together. i think im gonna start writing again. thank you.
Humbly beg to differ. To create is joy in and of itself, it's not necessity and many people simply won't make anything. The process is the joy. Thinking of others is in itself aberration of the creative process. As to make something uniquely your own can only come from you, not you and your worries of others, that's not you that's not art. There's a great story about miyamoto Musashi presenting a painting of a Phoenix to the emperor regarding this idea around art. Look into it if what I mentioned makes sense
This is amazing.
Fantastic stuff as usual snow. Thank you for this.
Im glad I found this channel from this video. Im gonna go sit down and put a script together.