Main channel: / @exurb1a Music used: Simon Anderson's arrangement of Ave Verum from Choral Voices. And something I threw together on the piano: / wheres-my-goddamn-meadow
Mate, have you ever met a northern mill town Brit? I once saw a guy headbutt a cow. We’re a strange and stupidly agressive when threatened/ drunk. The rest of the time we’re nice as anything.
For months, the youtube algorithm has been recommending this video. I ignored it probably 50 times. I guess the algorithm knows me better than I know myself because this video is incredible! So glad I finally clicked it. You are a gifted storyteller.
Scary how much it knows what we need. Loved this. Do you have a new channel? I hope so. McCandless affected me, too. I went off in a camper in my sixties. It was not for me...
I don't think he's just gifted, he's proof hard work pays off with enough ambition, dedication and insanity anybody can make their interests apart of their profession
@@420StonedToParallelswaiting, not waiting, it doesn’t matter what you do. But, you have to always be looking for it, at least. Truly, you just have to want to look.
@@RagnardtheGreat considering he's Bri'ish...it's possible. Our federal government does love to fund foreigners even though they're supposed to be all about the USA.
As a guy that spends a lot of time watching short term videos on tiktok and instagram reels, I find it amusing that this man has managed to make a 46 minute story so interesting, that not in a single moment while watching this, did my brain consisting of fried dopamine recepters, think to wander my attention over to something else. truly an amazing storyteller
stop watching shorts. they make you get less interested in genuinly informative long videos. you just want to skip to something else. you probably know this but stop it before its too late. your attention span and patience will thank you 🙏 just giving advice
Completely stumbled upon this video by accident but holy moly did I need it.... I didn't even realize how much I needed it until you started talking about that desire, that need to be lost in the woods, alone... And maybe all of us at some point should say "fuck it" and go do something spontaneous that we aren't ready for, because that's the spice of life if you think about it... I've been - lets say - wallowing in my own depression, suffering from a lack of purpose and direction while simultaneously having everything I could ask for. A roof over my head, 3 square meals a day, a loving family that supports and cares for me, a career that pays my bills and lets me enjoy hobbies I've always wanted to pursue... Yet. There are still days that I cant get out of my own head, days where it feels like I can't do anything right and my whole life will come tumbling down around me. Days where I wish I could run off into the wilderness and never be heard from again. But I know that won't fix my problems, my own desire of self preservation would drive me back to the "real world" soon enough only to be met by all the things I selfishly abandoned, which have now grown to unfixable proportions and thus manifested in my greatest fear of ruining my own life over my own selfishness... Anyway. No one will read this but I guess what I'm trying to say is exactly the message this video is trying to convey, that I'm very lucky, and I should be thankful for the little things in my life and strive for bigger and better but running away off into the woods - as appealing as it sounds on shitty days at the office - will not magically fix my life or my mental health, only I can do that. I'm sure none of this made any sense but after 3 beers and a little self reflection, it feels good to get (whatever this is) off of my chest. Thank you.... From: A random American from Minnesota.
I think the key message you didn't mention is that you shouldn't run away community. Friends and family were always the important things. Even when he ran away, connection with others is what mattered the most. Take time to yourself when needed, sure. But open yourself to others and you will feel more free. Cultivate relationships like plants in your garden and they will grow. I hope you find more inner peace, stranger.
Hey, I get it exactly. If it helps at all, As you get older some wisdom kicks in and you start to see yourself as part of the world, part of your place in it and that weirdly helps put some of our despair into perspective. Good luck, friend, from a person in Illinois. (these winters don't help!)
The story about meeting people on the Appalachian Trail reminds me about how five year olds meet other kids in the park and immediately become best friends for the hour they're there, then leave and never see each other again. Thrown into a world we can't completely control, we act like children and become ourselves again.
@@IceGoddessRukiasame… same 😢 we just need to stay true to ourselves and love the way we used to as kids sometimes… adults are just former children who are what they think an adult should be…at least that’s how I interpret it anyway :)
or travelling to a new city by yourself, suddenly knowing new somebodies, and they knowing you, more than your best friends... only to separate to your own corners of the world again, your tapestry of lives slightly richer for it. And who knows when your paths cross again.
Take me, someone younger Im only 17 10 years ago is over half my life I couldn’t imagine that going by like it’s nothing However, I do understand how it can happen Especially to someone older, to where life isn’t nearly as new or important or exciting, I’d imagine it’s easy to lose track of the days go by, just existing in the same patterns and feelings with only the occasional reminder like a birthday or holiday to give notion to the times passing. It’s a scary thought, one that I’ll try not to fall into but doubtful I’ll beat it
@@georgeeliot2012 woah pal I’ll be 18 in 2 months I doubt I’ll have some surreal understanding of the world in that time But regardless the way I interpret “10 years pass in the way 10 years does” as meaning the years are going by quickly and like nothing almost as if it went by without even noticing
if you ever look back at your first reply in 10 years, then I think you'll understand it. I doubt I would have understood it at 17 either@@NekosForever
@@NekosForeverat face value, yeah it sounds like that. but it's the personal experiences, thoughts, dreams, interactions and events that have unfolded or washed away that you really cant convey until you experienced it. you were so busy with your life that life kinda flew by. Not that you missed any of it, but a somber realization that time is slowly not on your side any more maybe.. at least that is how it is for me.
I think you wrote something really profound here, and you're an excellent narrator. Thank you for speaking to the restlessness a lot of us feel, I'm just as guilty about fantasizing scenarios that would "fix me" and this story really is grounding!
As someone who took off on a very long hike too, the west coast version of the Appalachian trail, PCT. I was the most authentic and human version of myself out there , after 6 months when I finished it to my great surprise, I still didn’t want to return to the world. But when I came back I also found beauty being around others, to write with a pen, paint, read, decorate a space, land in the same place each night. I miss the wilderness everyday, but I know I am not for returning, the people are more beautiful to me now. It is my most cherished adventure. Thank you for this video, it helped me process that lingering yearning for the journey.
This had me in tears thinking about my own life and how young I am (21), to not stress about the things coming later and to just allow yourself to wait for good things to come. They can't be forced, like your first farming trip that couple had you in shambles, the universe gave you what you wanted and put a twist on it. You my friend are an ispiration to me and how I'm going to spend my life now, not looking for answers but allowing the answers I'm looking for to find me. I have a lot of passions in life, I have tried a lot of things, now I want to find the trousers that fit, if you will.
At 21, I was drifting through life. The world felt (and still feels) unreal - not in the sense of a psychosis, in the sense of dissociation. I fell into a college major, fell into housing, fell into graduating with a trash GPA, fell into a job. All the while thinking I'd figure out what I actually wanted to do "tomorrow". I am now 31, and I realized, there will never be something I "actually want to do". There are only things I want to do, and they need not be profound - in fact, they cannot be profound. I do things I want, I make progress towards those that will take time, and I do not fret about it any further. At your age, "drifting" was my curse. Now, "drifting" is my blessing. I relate to your, "I have a lot of passions in life ... now I want o find the trousers that fit". Don't be worried if it takes a while to figure out what fits; and don't be worried if they only fit sometimes. It's ok to have more passions than you can quite keep up with - taking breaks can actually be pretty helpful as returning to a hobby after a month break can lead to new insights! (It can also lead to letting the month turn into a year which is less great, but, yknow)
It's both comforting and saddening to know that I am not unique in my struggles, that everything I'm feeling has been felt before, it all has an answer
Most likely something similar to what you feel has been felt before. But it hasn't been felt by you. And you are the only person to be yourself, and maybe you'll find a new answer... Living really is the only sense to being alive.
It DOES have an answer. "Everything is totally random, came from nothing, goes to nothing, so what you got to worry about, NOTHING ! . . . so Always Look on the Bright Side of Life".
just wanted to say, this video actually helped me get through a really bad panic attack. your storytelling is incredibly immersive and allowed me to focus on the story and not my anxiety. amazing video! thank you!
I am watching this while sitting in my cabin. In the woods. In the highlands of Hawaii. I didn't come here with any delusion that I'd automatically be happy, but the real revelation, is that there is no revelation.
Dude I don’t understand how you still think you’re a bad writer, your brand of emotionally honest intellect has been such an inspiration for me, the way you admit your human flaws and weaknesses while weaving beautiful landscapes made out of words soothes my soul. You put your heart into these scripts and that’s what great art is. Personally I don’t think It gets much better than an intellectual stream of consciousness. And I feel like your opinions of your writing are more a critique of your soul rather than a critique of your talent
He is self ruthless because he's been ruthless and the self torture makes him feel better about his prior ruthlessness. You can't pain your way into getting better. You gotta fess up and ask for forgiveness from the ones you've wronged and actually make and take responsibility for it or do good things in the wake of it. He seemingly does neither so its self torture again. Everyone has a path back but it involves amend making and seeking forgiveness and idk if he's prepared for any of that still.
It has been a long day, one that felt like after I came home I would sink into my bed never to get up again, yet this video has rejuvenated me and given me the spirit to cry and be proud of it. Thank you for that, and please don't stop writing!
I know the feeling you described quite well. I'm beginning to think it's exhaustion from trying to use logic and reason to cope with an irrational world. It cannot be done, similar to the fact that you cannot divide a number by zero. I have no remark to make that offers a solution. I simply identify with your comment, and want you to know you are not alone, and I hope you are feeling better.
My master plan is to rope my three closest friends into living off grid with me. I love the woods. I love hiking. Iove nature, even when it's rough. But I also love my friends.
I rather have my family and a farmhouse surrounded by both empty and fertile fields. An occasional BBQ and bonfire with a small group of people would be nice though.
As a man who’s contemplated buying land in another country several times in just the last week alone, this hit me hard. I’m not ashamed to admit that I had tears in my eyes at multiple moments
Don't give up on your dream to buy land, from my experience traveling, integrating into new countries and groups and living a simpler life all benefit you a lot, it may not be as straight forward as you think it will, however
We still need to have a home and have a dwelling. Buying land is the same as buying a house, purpose wise. Buying land to escape all social problems isn’t smart but buying land to live on doesn’t really have much to do with this video to be honest.
I escaped to Yellowstone for a summer, one of those people who seemingly spawn in to work in the restaurants or general stores. I worked about five days a week but was constantly surrounded by the beauty of it all, finding myself becoming that of an extrovert in which I am not. It took me 20 years to realize that the problem I had with myself wasn't with myself, but rather those around me who traipsed and trampled any sense of identity in which I maybe had. This video had been reccommended to me shortly after my return to that same scenario, and I scoffed upon reading the title. I /had/ just successfully found several answers after escaping to the woods so, give me a little credit. After listening, I understand your points and would have to agree with you on them. It truly is amazing how quickly people can bond with one another when you're not faced with conflict of society or the burden of time. Thank you for verbalizing these concepts and adding more to think about.
One of the worst parts of being an introvert, neurodivergent, etc... is that you're simply not designed for generic society. As he said, you eventually learn to "fake an illusion of being outgoing". But that generic form of "socializing" will always feel insincere and unsatisfactory. We're just not made for it. I always come out of those types of interactions tired and annoyed. And I think part of it stems from the fact that you everything just feels so insincere and fake. It feels like some childish game where everyone pretends that they're better than the other person, or where everyone is just trying to impress the other person. But, as you mentioned, it seems like out in the wilderness people are just more real and honest. Those are the types of interactions I wish I had more often. It's difficult to explain. I just hate how the universal advice everyone gives introverts is always "go to parties" or "just make more small talk" and other superficial "advice" of the same sort. You don't need to pretend to be an extrovert. Hang out with other introverts and weirdos and nerds and weebs, that's your tribe, they'll understand you.
21 year old here. Its nice to get reminded that I'm, in fact, an idiot, and not feel offended by it. I'm lost, but I'm hopeful, listening to you gives me even more hope, people always write about you being "depression turtle", but I ironically always end up with some newfound energy and optimism after listening to one of your videos. Thanks
I'm 20, currently hating myself for repeatedly not studying for University and wondering why I'm not getting anywhere. It's a bit calming to know that you're not the only one lost, but that most people are. And while you should try to get better, it's okay to not be completely fine and content and happy. I like to believe that I'm slowly coming out of a 2-3 year low in my life, maybe I'm not. Only time will tell.
I thru-hiked the Appalachian trail in 2017. It took 133 days, 130 of which were full of rainstorms and inclement weather. Every day was a new heap of bodily pain and the hardships of nature, but they were the most peaceful and enjoyable few months of my life. It propelled me on to several more excursions into wildernesses across the world and I am now an avid outdoorsman. If removing ones self from society and eloping into nature is not the answer, I agree it is certainly a catalyst that will show you where your priorities lie.
I personally find that my mind needs to be fed a hearty diet of stimulus and context with which to build inner beauty before it is possible to enjoy sitting alone at home in dark room. I think the moral of this guy's story is that the journey IS necessary, but it hardly matters what exactly it is. It just requires that you lay eyes on (and at least partially comprehend) some of the absurd beauty and complexity this world has to offer, and never forget it. You do need inspiration, but not for any one purpose. If you run out, it's time to go find more
The unpleasant truth is that modern society is an exhausting, confusing, chaotic, needlessly stressful, uninspiring, bizarre, and often petty place to reside. Just consider the constant deluge of information thrown at the modern mind. How is it to cope? No surprise that excursions into the wild act as a reset button. The lone cabin in the woods is a fantasy. We're social and tribal creatures. Our roots have simply dried up through technological evolution. Maybe the answer is to occasionally go out and water yourself.
Your words alone were enough to keep me hooked for 40 minutes. I listened to this in a moment in my life were I truly need it. This resounded a lot with me, thanks for this, great work.
This guy is a genius! Only a writer can hate himself but casually write a masterpiece. He talked about the artist that dabbles around but “paints the Moana Lisa”. This guy is the same way. Very well written and edited video.
John 3:16 King James Version 16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
this is unbelievably profound. its beautiful and relatable, funny, engaging and has a few suckerpunches of base truths you've forgotten, avoided or been unable to express quite right. thank you, this is an achievment and very well written.
About 22 minutes in and had to stop and comment that I'm sat here crying uncontrollably at how much I can relate to this. Allowing myself to cry and to feel my emotions and express who I am is currently a part of my healing journey. You've put into words exactly how I feel about life, art and passion, and hearing that truth and that it's not a unique experience has me extremely moved. Thank you.
Well I almost cried at the end. Even if you don't end up writing some wildly popular novel, I hope you know that your thoughts are treasured by all of us and that I'm glad you're still here and still willing to share them with us.
I hate to ruin this for you but I think it's worse if you praise him without knowing. This guy is a r*pist and an overall bad dude, please look up the evidence for yourself as I can't link to anything in a youtube comments section.
Exurb1a is deadass one of the greatest video essayists out there. It sucks that he'll always compare his success to books, because in the land of video essays he is undoubtedly at the top of the top. He already achieved success, he already did that capital "G" great thing; his video essays. They are fantastic, life-changing, and just so compelling, and they are incredibly popular. I hope one day he'll realize it, and he'll finally be able to be happy with his accomplishments.
This is one of the most fantastic things I’ve ever watched/ listened to. I’m in my mid 20s and there’s a lot to everything you’re saying that resonates. I’m really appreciative of you making this video, it’s spoken to parts of me that needed to hear it all.
Thank you for this. Listening to this the day after my 28th birthday, I don’t feel as lost as I did at 18, 21, or 25 but the feeling that isolation in the woods would fix certain questions for me is always alluring. I understood for myself that it wouldn’t fix me, but I couldn’t quite articulate to myself why or how I knew this, and the only way to find the answer would be to go live in the woods until it became obvious. The urge still remains, but after watching this I feel I could go for a camp/hike and appreciate it differently. Understanding it won’t be the answer to my problems, but help me find them.
Today... is the day after my 28th birthday, and i just finished the video. Didn't expect to see someone in such familiar shoes. Currently never been more motivated in my life to go on an exceedingly long hike with plenty of books to read, but i know myself and my lack of commitment so I'm just hoping that i still feel this way tomorrow. If so i think i do plan on going into the woods to find out why it's not the answer to my problems. Hope these past couple months have treated you well, and happy belated birthday !
The fact that you managed to keep me enthralled with a 40+ minutes story with a standing camera video in the year of our lord 2023, really tells a lot about your talent and the quality of your content. I'm so glad I found this
Isn't that more about you than about him? He couldn't keep me enthralled. I barely made it to halfway through the video wondering when he was going to get to the bloody point and then just gave up. Kinda like the trail, I guess.
This was beautiful. Thank you for sharing it with us. I see myself in a lot of this; the struggles with creativity, the urge to live in the woods, the urge to travel like this, all during the throes of spiraling depression. These days, I still want to live in the woods- but I want at least three neighbors living within a mile, and I want it to be less than a 30 minute drive to get to town. I don't want to escape society. I specifically want to move to Alaska, because I grew up living in the woods there, and I miss how special it felt to wake up surrounded by so much beauty every day. It's not the same experience as waking up in a tent, but I still got to wake up and watch the sunrise on the mountain range. Cities are ugly, noisy and smelly. Paradoxically, I've found that it's harder for me to make friends in the city than out in the woods. I think city folk consider friends easier to come by, and therefore they're more picky about who they befriend. Where people are more of a rarity, they are more precious to one another. It doesn't help that I moved into an area affected by the "Seattle Freeze" phenomenon, where unless you grew up with someone, they don't want anything to do with you. I don't like living in crowded, noisy apartments, or places where I have to walk for half an hour to get to the nearest little park or patch of woods. I want to connect with both people and nature more, and have a little more control over what I do with my own home. I think those are not-mentally-ill reasons to want to move to a hut in the woods.
I came out of my adblocking browser just to come here and comment on this great post. I deeply resonate with your sentiment in regard to the value of nature. While there's certainly a rose-tinted glasses element to living in nature by society, for me it was when I practically lived in the woods for a couple months in my teens working for the Boy Scouts. My tent was terrible, but I lived for those days of isolation where I could wander the camps when everyone was gone for the weekend. It was a level of magic I've struggled to obtain again for nearly all of my adult life. It's not glamorous living, it's not this idea that things suddenly get easier that appeals to me. It's the isolation that makes us excited to make those precious connections once again. The loneliness epidemic is largely as a consequence of overstimulation from others be it at our job or at home with annoying family members that make us wanna just shutdown after work, not a word to say to anyone. It's worse to be around people that make you feel alone than to just be alone.
@@MisterN1 I couldn't agree more. Life in the woods is NOT easy, but solitude in nature is transcendentally beautiful. The decrease in overstimulation from being around other people means you appreciate your time with people more.
Beautifully written. I’m a creative myself, and I found myself relating to so much of what you were saying. The feeling of guilt when you aren’t working constantly, the feeling of doubt when you experience the work of a pro. It all hit home. A few months ago I decided I would give up on my dream of becoming a musician. It was all proving to be extremely difficult and I started to hate putting myself out there to be judged and critiqued. I’m 23, and I’ve spent the last 7 years of my life trying so hard to reach this goal. I dropped out of school and started performing on the streets in London, and when I decided to give up, I felt like all of that hard work was for nothing. But at the same time, I felt that I didn’t have to censor my expression anymore. I didn’t have to worry about what people want to hear and dance to. I wrote some of my best songs during that short break, and last week I decided not to give up on music. It is how you say it is. Either I make it, or I spend my life trying. My girlfriend and I are about to head off on an adventure, she’s an amazing painter, and we are going to explore and create and enjoy for a few months :) Anyway, I’m not a story writer, I’m sure you can tell by the lack of continuity throughout this comment! Loved the video, thank you for sharing your experience and making feel less alone❤
You deadass cannot say you’re a bad writer when you’ve got me crying in the middle of the night while laughing at how silly my little human person problems are. You are one of the people I respect most in the world and I hope you recognized how loved you are.
+1 don't know how this found me in the middle of the night, but it came up to me exactly when I needed. Love your writing and if you don't think your channel is already your great work of art, well then write that goddam novel, you'll never get it perfect, but in the end will realise how many people lives you've touched and how much they're thankful to you. Thank you.
Dang I'm 1:49 in I love into the wild. Eddie Vedder did the soundtrack I think. I will listen to the end the comments are quite promising. I also suggest a movie called "into the void"
When my daughter climbs, i put my hand behind her, ready to catch, out of her sight because i want her to be confident. I wonder how many times in my life, did someone have their metaphorical hand ready to catch me, without my knowledge.
"Our internal lives aren't equasions to solve, there is no master theory of us, we don't arrange things right and forever live the rest of our lives in emotional utopia. It's more a succession of little fires one has to keep putting out hopefully learning to turn that into a dance." That and many other passages are simply poetry. I appreciate your work very, very much.
This quote hit me harder than a train wreck. I almost started balling at my desk while I work on complicated pieces of machinery. I think it hits all of us so hard, not because we are all working hard to achieve something in our lives, but because it's a perfect way of putting into words something we have known. I wish someday his books will begin climbing the ranks of best sellers lists and he will be known for his writing before he dies, but sadly like so many others that perform art it might not happen. @Exurb2a, please know in your heart of hearts that you have done incredible work which will always be remembered, even if it's in the distant future, or tomorrow.
@@eugenefanboy4478On the contrary, it's an unflinching acknowledgment of nuance. It's Socratic in that the more you learn, the more aware you become of your own ignorance. There is no master plan. It's Stoic because to learn "the dance" of putting out the fires is to accept that pain and uncertainty are indisputable, non-negotiable parts of life while also appreciating the artfulness necessary to carve out a life worth living.
@Nateolison I still disagree. This quote is not stoic at all. It doesn't reflect any sort of depth within these dances. It just states that the dance itself is the importance of life. That's not stoic whatsoever. You aren't painting depth within these dances, you're just accepting them, and learning to embrace them. That's not really stoic. I don't agree with that. The goal of life, in my eyes, is to break the dance. To realize that there is no dance, the dance is an endless cycle of desire and pursuit. There is, per say, an "emotional utopia" to experience. But it's not really a utopia, more of just freedom from the binds of the dance. It's nihilistic to think that way, and it doesn't reflect the values of stoicism at all.
@@eugenefanboy4478 Oh I don't know about that. It's human and generous to the grandiose pretensions we may have about what that's about. Someone walking their own path gently punctures the Redemptive Narrative he wrote beforehand and finds life more simple and richer for doing so, surely?
“It’s more a succession of little fires one keeps putting out, hopefully learning to turn that into a dance”. That line was too damn good you should be proud af that was beautiful
I'm uncertain as to why this captivating video resonates with me as it does. Until tonight, I hadn't expected to be stirred by a mere UA-cam video. Yet, within the initial quarter of your narrative, my empty living room transformed into an incredibly surreal space. I'm not entirely sure what you've set in motion, but I find myself filled with emotions that defy my understanding. I'm unsure whether expressing gratitude is appropriate, but this, without a doubt, stands as the most intense and utterly thought-provoking video I've exposed myself to. Congratulations on gaining a deeper self-understanding; I hope to reach that point one day.
You know what's funny? You think you're not a good writer but you write scripts for your videos and they turn out to not only be stunning but fucking inspiring. You portray a lot of different feelings and hold the interest of the reader, (listener in this case) very well. Each one of your videos brings a different take and view on subjects. It's a roller coaster of emotions and ideas that create a truly beautiful cocktail of art. Thank you for everything you do. You're truly quite a special person, in your own way.
Truly. Exurb1a is already an established household name, at least in my family. My brother and I stay up to date on the latest stories, and often reflect together. I imagine, assuming a platform for it still exists by that time, that we will surely pass a love of these stories and thought experiments on to our own families one day, and so on and so forth. It's obvious enough that we will not be alone in that. As a writer, if that's not the ultimate goal, the most primordial urge (to have part of one's self carried atop the marching back of human memory even after the window of physiological existence has closed) I truly do not know what is.
While I have to agree with you on everything you said, starting the comment with "you know whats funny" only to then proceed to not tell anything of jolly fun is pretty disappointing.
I've never seen your channel before and I clicked this video because I've always had a dream of living alone in the woods. I don't typically listen to podcasts or watch videos like this, I listened to this whole video and I loved it. Absolutely beautiful content.
@@adamlowe1072 I didn't even know he had this channel, only ever saw the stuff on his other one. I feel like I just discovered a whole treasure trove with this new channel to dive into.
Literally same, listened to this in my lunch break from work and I am returning to work a changed woman! Beautiful! Sharing stories and experience like this makes me grateful for the internet bringing people with similar views/ideas together.
BRO you are such a good storyteller! I would 100 percent read a book about your experience in New Zealand. Listening to your story felt like an audio book don’t give up writing!
This was a brilliant listen, from the voice through the pronunciation to the story and what you made of it all. Thank you very much, I shed a tear and I'm now this much happier and at peace. :) ❤️
40:36 That line about cats really hit me. My elderly cat turns 16 this year and she got into a fight with an extremely large bengal cat in December 2022 (she was a runt and is only a little larger than your average chihuahua). She, as you said, completely shut down and we were unaware why until we found the wounds on her neck. One got infected and after 2 vet visits and lots of sleeping on laps, she fully recovered and was full of life once more. I'm glad she has become so much more affectionate, not that she never was before, but she comes to find me after university and sleeps in my lap while I sit in my desk chair and use my computer. I think that bengal encounter has made her realise we are here to help her, and when her time comes, she'll pass in my lap instead of somewhere alone - at least thats what I hope.
I think you're onto something. When my grandmother died, among other things, we inherited her cat. We brought it over to our house, and it immediately bolted to hide under a table in the basement. If you tried to reach in to pet it and reassure it, you'd get swiped at. I wanted to pet the damn cat. So I tucked in my fingers, reach in, and got swiped at. But when it got it's claws in my skin, I dragged it out by that and held it in my lap and petted it until it started purring and knew I wasn't there to hurt it. Repeat process until cat gets used to it's new surroundings. So when it got old and fat and started to die, it came into my room to lay down.
Ah yes. Because if your cat doesn’t want your love, obviously the best choice is to just force it on them until they learn to appreciate it - the ol snuggle struggle technique.
00:00 📜 Happiness often feels simple, but sadness can be complex and unique. 02:30 🌲 Seeking solace in nature, the narrator spends a year volunteering on farms in New Zealand. 05:06 🏞 Living in a yurt initially fulfills the wilderness dream, but the novelty wears off, and the narrator feels increasingly isolated. 06:58 🌄 The idea of hiking the Appalachian Trail emerges as a way to find purpose and inspiration. 11:27 🚶♂ The decision is made to embark on the Appalachian Trail hike as a form of escape, seeking renewal and a break from the struggles of writing. 15:09 ☕ Hiking the Appalachian Trail becomes a transformative journey, offering simplicity, routine, and a break from vices. 16:05 🎒 The narrator shares the practical gear used for the trail, emphasizing the importance of reliable equipment. 16:18 🌌 The first days on the trail bring a sense of excitement and realization of the freedom and solitude of the wilderness. 16:31 🏕 The narrator describes the experience of camping in the woods, finding a sense of safety in a sleeping bag despite the natural sounds around. 17:13 📚 While hiking, the narrator rediscovers the joy of reading, consuming various books and realizing the pleasure of immersive reading in the solitude of the forest. 18:51 🤝 On the trail, interactions with fellow hikers are immediate and easy, with a shared context and common purpose, making conversations more genuine and enjoyable. 19:48 💡 Reflecting on past experiences, the narrator recognizes that putting immense pressure on creative pursuits for personal transformation can lead to frustration and disappointment. 21:10 🎭 The narrator values the clarity of knowing their lifelong passion for working with words, acknowledging the privilege of having such a clear calling in life. 25:31 🍪 Deprivation on the trail magnifies the joy of simple pleasures like finding a stray Oreo, highlighting the impact of scarcity on one's perception of enjoyment. 27:37 🌍 The common adventure of hiking fosters a sense of camaraderie among hikers, creating shared experiences and connections with strangers in the vastness of nature. 29:01 🚶♂ A challenging moment occurs when the narrator gets lost on the trail, emphasizing the vulnerability and disorientation that can happen even in well-marked environments. 31:06 🌳 The beauty of the trail is described as beyond words, evoking a deep appreciation for nature, self-reflection, and a realization of one's past behavior and stress. 32:19 🍟 The narrator finds joy in the simplicity of town stops, enjoying beds, extra fries, and large American portions, appreciating the comfort and convenience of civilization. 33:14 🌍 The speaker experienced cultural differences in the United States, particularly noting the friendliness of strangers in contrast to European norms. 34:53 🥾 Trail life created a parallel universe of self-sufficient hikers living at a different pace, fostering a unique and comfortable community. 35:22 🤝 The culture of self-sufficiency on the trail inspired a sense of independence, with hikers capable of resourcefulness and problem-solving. 36:18 🚀 The speaker visited the U.S. Space and Rocket Center, highlighting his passion for space exploration and encounters with engineers from the Apollo program. 37:55 💭 The speaker reflects on the trail, realizing it didn't bring the expected epiphanies, but the quiet months after returning helped him understand the nature of creativity and inspiration. 38:51 🌌 The speaker acknowledges that the search for inspiration and self-discovery doesn't follow a formula, emphasizing the unpredictable nature of creative moments. 40:43 🏡 The realization dawns that home, where friends and imperfections reside, is where the speaker truly belongs, contrasting the idea of living like a hermit in the woods. 41:25 🌲 Christopher McCandless' insight, "Happiness is only real when shared," becomes a central theme, challenging the notion of solitude as a solution to internal struggles. 42:08 🤝 Opening up about mental health struggles is encouraged, as friends may offer support and understanding, dispelling the need to hide from shame. 43:18 🔍 Life is a continuous process of self-discovery, with the speakerembracing the ever-changing nature of personal growth and the mysteries within.
I never comment on UA-cam videos, but this was an exceptional listen and has come to me at a time in my life where I've been feeling a little lost. Thank you.
I clicked this video on a whim and 40 minutes of hanging on to every word later I feel so moved. This felt so much like an audiobook that after I finished I had to double check it wasn’t a reading of a published novel! Thank you for your hard work and sharing your story, I feel like I have to watch this 8 times over until it’s imprinted in my brain!!
after the recent hbomberguy video i honestly considered multiple times if this was also ripped off somewhere. I figured not, I'd always enjoyed exurb1a's content
The way you describe your 20's rings true to to my own Also, as someone who works in hospice, I can tell you that when you spend a lot of time around people that are 99 years old it starts to put ones own age into perspective. 32 feels young when you are around a Centenarian
@@ThorPalsson Hospice was great to some of my family members. They made them remain comfortable and the whole process as painless as it could be. How could I not say thanks to anyone doing such a difficult but necessary service?
This guy saying he can't write, but he can describe such visceral scenery and trigger such human emotion to enthrall over 3.5 million people in less than a year. And as someone natively from North Georgia, who has always wanted to hike the Appalachian, I am now even *more* inclined to make it a life goal. Beautiful storytelling, enthralling and smooth voice. Please write books and narrate them too.
This was absolutely beautiful. As an environmentalist, I can't help but think that a hike in the woods DID help you, though. Nature has a healing quality to it. It allows us to live in the moment, appreciate beauty, be grateful and fuel our childlike wonder. Perhaps subconsciously the woods, and the people, helped push you to self discovery. At least for me, whenever I'm lost I go for a hike in the woods.
As a silly and naive 21 yo, I want to thank you for this. As "simple" as this simple story is, I found myself lost in it. You are a great writer and storyteller, and most importantly for me, you do a fantastic job at making me reflect on situations I've never found myself in.
Good luck 21. Be silly and curious, naive and humble. Stay as free as possible. Challenge yourself. Experience what you can. Read what you can. Try not to worry. Travel. Learn. Endure. And trust the process of growth. Sincerely, 34
I’m 24. I feel like I’ve matured so much since 21, but I know in another 3 years, I’ll look back at myself today and think “wow what an absolute joke of a person”. Because that’s what life is about- constantly bettering yourself, getting wiser, reflecting on the idiocy you lived in before and (while you may miss it at times), be grateful you don’t live there anymore.
@@phoenix3992 Good luck 34. Be patient with yourself and make sure you take time to reflect on the journeys you've been on and plan for the ones yet to come. Let things go. Take nothing personal. Show your light. Keep growing and keep going. Sincerely, 47
@@elisamontrose-roback676 Thank you Ms. Montrose. I'm fully onto that and so much more! Cultivating that divine spark. Calling found. Walking the path.
A cabin in the woods is the answer. Build a 500 sq ft cabin, on cheap land, big garden, root cellar. Cut overhead costs of food, water, rent, mortgage, etc and save to pay off offgrid land. Build your own utilities (but skip the outhouse and go straight to bathroom lol). Make a business. Do all this and you can live better than what we all do now. It just takes a few thousand saved. Rice and beans until you have the cabin supplies, land, basic utilities, generator, etc.
I’ve been putting off watching this because I felt like it would tell me things I wouldn’t like to hear, but would be better for having heard. Today I finally gave it a listen. Thank you for making this video and sharing your thoughts and experiences, it felt like a balm to my soul.
i dont know what to call you (parasocial relationships are weird), but i just wanted to say that the work you have published on your channels over the years has evoked emotions & introduced philosophies that are just as if not more powerful than almost any book, or movie, or documentary, or conversation ive ever had with anyone else. we all go through those cycles of sadness & anxiety, thinking we arent good enough or haven't done enough good to justify our lives, so id like to just say now for if you ever have future doubts: your work has changed me for the better, and im sure it has changed many others too. that is something you should be immensely proud of, and im not sure theres any greater goal you could look to achieve in your life
Same here. I still remember when "10,000 More Years of the Scientific Method" came out, as I was just starting university in the engineering field, it pumped me up and fed my hunger of wanting to understand how the world works. The "long" videos of condensed uncountable hours of thought, maybe intentional, maybe just because the ceiling was looking particularly nice that day. The humour, so on part with mine, love it. The constant cycle of existential crises that I also go through and that I usually want to share and bond over with other people in my physical space but can't because somehow everyone knows who they are and it's almost like only I ponder about this stuff. So yeah, parasocial relationships are weird man.
@@CeliaTyree hi, so as far as i know, this sa case that you mentioned is just an accusation. its a very serious accusation, but i do believe its important to uphold "innocent until proven guilty". ive looked into the evidence & it seems like the victim, who was quite mentally unstable, accuses exurbia of conducting a prolonged experiment on her in which he makes things called "synchronisations" (which is the thing where 2 things that are connected happen closely together, leading you to think it was "fate". eg: when you think of a certain thing, a certain song starts playing on the radio, which is connected to the thing youre thinking about). the victim claims that in 2016, exurbia repeatedly fabricated synchronisations around her as some sort of experiment, to the point where she became extremely mentally unwell & delirious. she then took a large amount of medication, was sa'd by him & hospitalized, then sa'd again after exiting hospital. the only evidence behind this claim, afaik, is a voice mail in which exurbia mentions how synchronisations are very intruiging to him & might be explainable by science. but that is it. i couldnt find any actual evidence pertaining to the sa apart from accusations. the claim of sa was eventually filed 8 months after she exited hospital (allegedly as a result of poor police procedure), which was late 2017. 3 years later, a dutch journalist investigated the story & some dutch articles were written on the topic. then, around a year ago, a youtuber made a video on the topic discussing everything. since then, i couldnt find any new evidence that has been released or developments on the case. please feel free fill me in if ive missed anything important. but right now, i think it is much wiser to handle this situation as an accusation which has not been neither confirmed nor denied & nothing more, and let the authorities handle it if necessary
It's so surreal because I'm in my early 20's and want a similar sort of escapism in the wilderness. Over breaks in college, I would usually pack up my car and go drive far off and camp in the mountains somewhere for weeks on end. I've always felt at peace just walking up these mountains and far away from everyone. It would help clear my head about my career, expartner, drama, family, or whatever. I've felt this need to go on this grand adventure before I settle down with the degree I get when I graduate but I have no idea where to start. Some of my friends who have already graduated have been talking about buying a plot of land and living off of it for a year or so. Another part of me just wants to do my own thing. I still have no idea but we'll see where it goes. Thanks for the insight, space turtle
I'm in my last year of uni. I'm planning on disappearing into the wilderness of Spain for a few months after I graduate. Just walking, camping, vibing. The thought of doing this is the only thing keeping me going at this point.
I feel like this resonates with so many people in todays society. This is a masterpiece of a story as well as a gem of good advice all at once and I am all here for it. Beautiful video!
As someone who's hiked the Pacific Crest Trail and very much desires to live in a hut in the woods at times, this video is a great way to help get you into a better mindset about everything and not setting unreasonable expectations for mental health through the wilderness. You line about not using the trees for your own agenda really struck home with me.
Fellow PCT hikers here. I've noticed since being home from the trail that the wilderness was amazing but it was really the people I was with while on trail that impacted me the most. The best part about a thru hiking for me wasn't necessarily the wilderness aspect but the vulnerability it forces everyone to have. Friendships were formed so easily and coming home I felt an immediate contrast to it.
@@attackofthelumbie9029 For me it was more a combination of things. I had great interactions with so many people but am only in contact with 1 person after the trail, never building too much in the way of lasting friendships. A bad situation with another hiker kind of put a damper on a lot of it. Ultimately what kept me going was the sense of adventure, having a simple goal in mind every day, and joy that can come from relative depravity. I'm hoping to do more long distance hiking though and am keeping an open mind to forming stronger relationships with fellow hikers.
Haven't finished the video yet, but i just wanted to say that Geometry for Ocelots was so unlike anything i've ever read and so incredibly impressive that after a year or two i still haven't fully processed it. Among other heavy feelings it awoke an emotion of spacey lonliness that i just cannot describe and i'm still building up the courage to reread it. Truly something special...
The three or four books of his that I own all fall into this category... Only author that I have bought all the book I could get in print. (I dont care for kindle).
I’m 20 currently, confused as fuck studying at uni. I’ve always loved your creative story telling but sometimes these quirky little stories mean more to mean than I could know. You seem to tackle the phenomenon of being lost quite a bit, but this story was very grounded and human. Something about listening to this while going to my part time in the morning made me feel some type of way. Your stories always stick with me, or at least some part of me, thank you :)
Aye bro read a book called inventing Elliot by Graham Gardner. It's not going to give you any answers but it might get you asking useful questions. At 28 the best advice I can give you is don't get drunk about it. Especially if you're sad or pissed off and never alone. I wasted so much time on that and then I wasted more time being bummed out about the time I wasted. Get into something physical, boxing is always good even if you don't like fighting, it'll get/keep you fit and build confidence. Nobody has ever said "I wish I didn't learn how to block a punch" Messing with electronics is great too. I build my own electric skateboards and bikes. Scooters ain't worth the effort trust me. Fucks your back up and can't carry half as much as a bike or go as many places unless you wanna drop 2k. Also taught myself glassblowing at your age, gonna get back into that when I have a shed to put a kiln in. Airbrushing is fun and relatively cheap and you can make some real pretty stuff without much "talent" and some freaking amazing stuff if you put the work in. We don't have any more purpose in life than what we give ourselves. Look after yourself, look after your day ones but don't take shit from them either. Keep your head up and keep moving forward and you'll be alright man.
Why are you confused? You aren't doing what you want? I was lucky to realize everything was BS while a child, so I never fell for the lies of the 'system.' I only went to college when I knew exactly what I wanted to do; I act with absolute certainty in all my actions. If you are confused, take a step back and figure out what you actually want to do is, and then do it. No doubt, no hesitation
Damn..... your story nearly made me cry. Im going through the same problem in my life currently and truly cant thank you enough for sharing this incredible story of yours. After all, my favourite thing in life is stories. Each and every one of them has there own unique profound beauty, and i truly enjoy hearing them, thank you.
Thank you so much. It's been an honest while since I've genuinely laughed, and you helped me to rediscover how to step back and enjoy this life like one big hike, enjoying every day and its new challenges like the ever changing scenery of the Appalachian Trail
There has never been a better title more perfect and more eloquent than yours- “ the answer is not a hut in the woods” those few words reached out from the endless abyss of words and told me I must stop what I’m doing and listen to what this person has to say. I’m so glad they did, because that was exactly what I needed to hear and it found me exactly where I could be found. Thanks.
when you started talking about how we don't desire things, we desire desire, and how friendships were really real and genuine really fast but without expectations, I just got tingles all over and I got filled with a feeling I haven't felt in a long time. I haven't done any long hikes like that, but I was homeless quite often in my teens. A lot of people think homelessness is the worst thing that could happen to you - for me it was one of the best. It was fucking heartwrenching and messy and tragic and dangerous lots of the time, sure. But dear god, I hope I never forget the joy of scavenging a handful of cigarettes and panhandling a plastic bag of three (!!!) oreos, coming back to the youth shelter and getting two friends so you can each have an oreo and a cigarette, because it was just too lucky not to share. When I went to sleep, in an alley or a shelter, I never knew if I'd wake up the next day. I was using hard drugs and had frequent lung infections, and if I was sleeping outdoors it was even more risky. And yet I have never slept so soundly. Maybe that's just from the exhaustion of carrying everything you own, but hey. Any bed was cloud nine. My relationships were so much more meaningful - the homeless people in my city were like a big family (not that they all liked each other, but so it is with most families), and those people cared for me more than most of my blood family had. But without a sense of owing or being owed. And my real, like, inner-circle "street family" - I've never had relationships like that before and sometimes I fear I never will again. Our world wasn't fair. Sometimes 14 year olds got killed or OD'd and died. You never knew who it'd be next - but someone would be next. And that's some really fucked up stress for teenagers to live under, but fuck, it totally changed me for the better. You realize what matters. You realize that death doesn't discriminate, and that alone means most differences are pretty inconsequential. You become more forgiving, you realize that most people's lives are fucked in ways you can't even imagine, and they're probably trying their best. But if you really do have a problem with something, you speak up more willingly. And most of all, a lesson I wished I hadn't learned the hard way, if you love someone, for fucks sake, just tell them. Yeah, maybe it is awkward, but tomorrow they might be dead, or you might be, and you might spend the rest of your life wishing you'd just said it. Anyway, yeah, it really is the simple things
@@alexpender6317 I hope you truly are. I realised reading your comment that it doesn’t even matter to me how or why you were in that situation, but I felt I was there with you, and the how or why didn’t fucking matter at the end of the day when you had to lay down to sleep in the “civilised” outdoors. Bless you for taking the time to share. I learnt more from this comment than I have in many years of talking to … well, anyone really .
Thanks for sharing your story man. Something I really needed to hear right now. Wherever you're at on your journey these days, hope life is well with you 🤗
Having already listened enraptured to Exurbia's works before, it was funny to hear him describe his younger self despairing at not being able to match the standards of Thoreau or Austen, instead only imitating them and hating himself for doing so. Well, it was only because he was imitating their medium. I daresay ol' Henry and Jane would've felt just as hopeless were they to have been born after him, trying to attain-yet-not-imitate _his_ style in a UA-cam video like this. The thing about the Greats of established mediums is that usually, they were great because of what _new_ things they brought to the table, not because they were simply imitating what already came before themselves. There was often something so new, raw, risky, and dynamic about their work that they made an indelible mark, which many of them never got to even reap the rewards of because there hadn't been enough time for their "cream" to settle to the top of the massive barrel of same-y imitators. This is how art does. Someday, in the future, the UA-cam era will be a thing of the past. And those who were most impacted by such long-form video essays as Exurbia's will naturally have memories of what/who impacted them most, and those old creators with the most deep and widespread impact will naturally be the most remembered. The "Greats" of this format _will_ be remembered, even if not today. And I believe Exurbia is,and will be, one of them.
Being depressed, it's really hard for me to stay focused on a single thing without doing anything ekse for a long time. But I clicked on this video, and started to listen... Then, 46:25 minutes later, I find myself writing this comment. You managed to hook me, and I'm not even a native English speaker. Your words did resonate deeply within me ! Reading the others comments, I guess we all agree that you're anything but a bad writer ! Your storytelling was so fluid and sincere, thanks for sharing it with us
I have a much better and real solution that doesn't involve useless new age claptrap. That is to GET OUT OF AMERICA. Go to a HAPPIER FREER country like the Philippines or Thailand or Cambodia or Latin America, etc. America is unfriendly, toxic, antisocial, misanthropic, etc. Everything there brings you down. When you leave America a huge burden is lifted off your shoulder. You feel freer, better, less isolated, no social anxiety etc. Because people abroad have REAL SOULS you can connect with and are not soulless like in America. There is no ice wall between strangers in most other countries too so you can connect with people and DATE as many women as you want. ZERO social anxiety or isolation. And LOWER cost of living. What more can you ask for?! In the Philippines I have unlimited dating, sex, girls, romance, fun, freedom, etc. And much lower cost of living too. What more could you ask for?! Going to SE Asia is a true paradise. When you experience all this you will kick yourself for not leaving America sooner! That's the REAL SOLUTION. No BS. But most people won't tell you about it because it's taboo to talk about this for some reason. If you see my podcasts you will learn more about why my solution WORKS and has no BS cliches that are useless like other UA-cam videos do.
I relate to everything you said, and I'm not a native english speaker either, although I mostly consume content in english, this video is amazing, this is what I pay youtube premium for
Is that really how long this was? I did the dishes, cleaned the kitchen and fed my plants some stinky compost water while I listened to it. I'm not usually that productive. It was a bit magical wasn't it?
Thank you exurb1a. I've had my own Christopher McCandless fantasies for about as long as I have known your channel (about 10 years). I turned 18 yesterday, and I'm very excited about the rest of my life. There has been a few rough years in there, but the path ahead looks bright. Thank you for this video!
@Sheaintartist Of coarse it doesn't work like that. Whatever is created within this socially created 3d matrix is always what we will observe within this socially created 3d matrix. Our minds can venture outside of that into other matrix. You can go as profound or mundane as you wish. While imagining the hut in the woods, you must go there with all possibilities of glorifications as well equally suppressions normally found in this 3d matrix.
I turned 22 years old 2 hours ago. I was scared going into this video. From the title alone, I was sure I was about to have the shit called out of me. I was scared, but it felt so serendipitous that this message arrived to me in the first hours of my 22nd birthday that I had no choice but to listen. Of course, instead of the judgement I was offering myself, I got a beautiful insight into the human experience, growing up, and "purpose". I am not the biggest believer in fate, but I am deeply grateful for this coincidence nonetheless. Ps: Just yesterday, I recommended your channel to my younger sister (she is a lot like young you, an artist at heart, struggling to find her path and feeling like she could never amount to something Great. She is already Great in my eyes
I'm turning 22 years old in 9 hours and 50 minutes. And I feel much like you do. I think and hope that those "coincidences" of finding the straightforward answers where and when you least expect them never stop.
This really resonated with me. I had a partner who had a similar idea about going into the world and trying to find himself. But the more I talked to him about why he wanted to do that, the more I realized that the answers he was looking for were right in front of him, blurry and unfocused because of how close he was looking at them. You miss the forest for looking too closely at the leaves I tried to explain that it felt more like he was running from himself instead of running to something. That life can just be life, and there is happiness in the little things (I went through my own similar crisis after I lost my drive for an art career) But it wasn't the answer he wanted to hear... We split after a while because I wanted a quiet life at home with friends and a family, and he wanted to be alone. I loved him dearly and desperately during that time, what little time it was. This video reminded me of how much of this has to be understood alone, and you can't love someone into reading the answers of their life Mike, if you're reading this, I hope you find yourself again...and please don't eat random mushrooms
Okay I get your point but is it not arrogant to assume you have the answers to someone else's problems? If it were that easy, he would have found it out himself. I'm more like your boyfriend and want to leave where I am right now but other than you, I don't have family and friends to keep me here even though I put effort in trying to find community. Please be aware that community doesn't come easy for everyone and I can imagine that that might have been a driving force for your ex. People are not meant to be lonely so they find ways to cope.
@@Shirumoon Hey there, just thought I'd chime in as I'm in between the two: I very much crave going away to maybe a hut in the woods, but I also have friends. Good friends that I know love me very much. Yet I still feel alone a lot. I don't think it's arrogant to assume that you know the answerd to someone else's problems. Of course they won't all work and be the right answers, but I believe that usually, for most people, the answer isn't to be alone. The answer may be to be temporary alone, and for a few people it may be for a longer time. But overall I believe that it is human to want to belong. The only problem is finding people that you feel like you belong with. And to get there, maybe being alone is the answer for now. Because how can you know who you belong to without first getting to know yourself. I just today returned from a trip to the woods. It was just one night sleeping in a hammock under a tarp, realizing how easy it is to get that alone time, that made me feel like I've gotten closer to what I want. The issue is that I'm back home and I cannot, for the life of me bring myself to reach out to my friends and ask if they would like to hang out. The problem here isn't my community, it's me. And I believe that there will be many more nights alone or with a temporary love interest in the woods (and hopefully lots of productive therapy sessions), before I will not only know, but also feel that my friends are the answer. But first I need to become friends with myself again.
Takes a lot to get someone like myself to sit and listen to anything for 40+ minutes but something about your writing and narration captured my attention. Definitely hit home on some things I've been feeling and dealing with recently and it's very comforting to hear them echoed here. Glad the UA-cam algorithm gave me this little respite from the rest of its catalog. PS was stoked about the Joanna Newsom quote. She is, in my opinion, one of the all time greats.
ive been following you on and off for a good few years. i'm really, really glad you finally found the answer you needed. it's been painful, but fascinating and enlightening watching you care too much about the wrong thing. and that's most likely because i've lived through your experience before already (albeit mine was way shorter, though just as extreme). i hope you find yourself loving life every single day sooner rather than later.
I'm going to be completley honest, this is one of the best videos i've ever seen, heard or experienced. It gives me the hint of "a perfect life is a life with many troubles, even though it doesn't seem like it" its truly beautiful to see how upside-down we think of what a good life seems like.
@@clouds-rb9xt sure !! So basically he talks about a time (10 years ago) when he experienced one of those sad but i don't know why moments. So he went imto nature to clear his mind becouse "he wasn't made for this world" but eventually he realises that the best part of trying to be alone in nature was a middle aged woman he met. Which means he wasn't really looking for being alone. The story is also about him thinking he can't write good things and being a mess (he writes some really good things). I understand you maybe don't have time to watch the video but if you get a chance PLEASE DO. I watched it 5 times
i feel like this video would have been my life, had i not become so sick as a teenager.. writing was my only passion, i wrote everyday from the time i was 10 until i was 17, hundreds upon thousands of words, i wrote for myself, i wrote collaboratively, i wrote on prompts and my own silly essays and poured my soul into stories. and i wanted nothing more than to write, and travel the country in a van. being a midwestern american i've been camping a lot, especially as a kid. the woods was always my home. the middle of nowhere, on my own, always felt right. it's hard for me to believe now i loved hiking. but i got sick when i was a teen, with our best bet of it being ME/CFS or lupus. i was always in pain, i couldn't work at my job anymore, i couldn't move for more than a few hours without having the horrible experience of "crashing" and basically losing all function. sometimes doing too much would lock up my back for days or weeks. i couldn't think like i used to. i couldn't walk or eat or consume media like i used to. i couldn't read like i used to. and i couldn't write. i cannot remember the most life-changing lines from books i've read, or even the plots, or the titles themselves. at the peak of my illness i couldn't read a book at all without splitting headaches or getting confused. when i can read, i get through a book four times slower than i used to, and i can never remember how we "got there" by the end of the book. i'd have to read it several times to stick. huge portions of my vocabulary disappeared, and have never returned to me. i couldn't imagine, literally, like i used to. i used to have vivid scenes in my head i could pick details from and bring to life in my writing. i couldn't do that anymore, scenes were blurry and dark. when i tried to write it was nothing like it used to be; even my sentence structures were just wrong. i mixed up the tenses of phrases and the word form, i couldn't remember metaphors, or how to make a sentence sound good. i could never hope to actually structure a story. i couldn't dream up my lively characters anymore or the worlds they inhabited. it was absolutely devastating. i spent two years in my room, totally alone. any friends i hadn't lost among not being able to do anything, i certainly lost them when covid time came around. i experienced for the first time, and what i hope is the last, what true loneliness to the point of near insanity felt like. and honestly, this reminds me a lot of your experience out on the trail. strangely enough, the isolation did an incredibly similar thing for me. despite still being horribly depressed, watching my peers complete college and go out and do the things i always dreamed of doing, i started to find solace in the little things. i remember going to get some fast food, just to see and talk to another person for a little bit. a day where i could play a video game for more than 30 minutes without becoming exhausted was a joy. when i had enough energy to go to our local park and just sit by the water, it was a damn good day. to hear the birds again, look at the leaves, and breathe. to cross a person and wave like i was normal. i reflected on my life and my past relationships a lot and i was able to appreciate them for what they were. i was able to appreciate People more than i ever had. it took a while to see my life as still valuable without all that stuff... but something about the isolating brought out a lot of introspection. it didn't solve anything. but it reframed things. it taught me to appreciate now, and to appreciate what health i had. i'm not "better" by any means, but my case in less severe now. i will probably never be able to travel the country on my own, let alone live on my own, but i work a few days a week. i will be able to camp again one day, to take trips with friends. i read my first book all the way through since getting sick recently and it was wonderful (i never promised you a rose garden - joanne greenberg) and i can at the very least journal again. i hope more than anything that one day my writing skills will come back to me. when i was a kid i was really into long form roleplay; just writing collaboratively with others, throwing our little characters at each other and throwing back 400-1000 words at a time and building a story out of how they manage to interact. it's just, playing. sometimes i forget that. i've thought about trying my hand at that again, but being older now and still having shit writing quality, i worry how i'd look to similar-aged peers. but i hope when i can try to build my writing skills again, i'll remember that we're all just people who never gave up on playing. and i guess this comment is still proof i can still write some sort of essay, lmao
surprised the redcoat didnt get unexisted by the unspeakable beasts
thx for the pin
Surprised no one told him about the copperheaded bluegills.
Mate, have you ever met a northern mill town Brit? I once saw a guy headbutt a cow. We’re a strange and stupidly agressive when threatened/ drunk. The rest of the time we’re nice as anything.
@@joeydr1497 I would not advise headbutting a bison
THIS IS THE FUNNIEST COMMENT IBE READ IN YEARS
This guy just wants to save the woods for himself.
@@drewrauch8929 he just wants to take down big oxygen
@@owenmsypshoutout to viagra for growing more wood than any other company
LMAO@@owenmsyp
This made me laugh pretty good
😂😂
„I can‘t write well“ he says and then proceeds to talk for 45 min straight not being boring for a single second of it
Well, he did have years in the woods to come up with the script.
He probably wrote it
@@beabeeadultstar1433it’s almost like this is an “audio book”
“We are our own worst critics”
-Ellen Hendriksen
*thanks google*
For months, the youtube algorithm has been recommending this video. I ignored it probably 50 times. I guess the algorithm knows me better than I know myself because this video is incredible! So glad I finally clicked it. You are a gifted storyteller.
I love your work damn, also same.
I’m rewatching this all over bc this some epic stuff.
same for me! so happy i finaly took the time to watch this...
Scary how much it knows what we need. Loved this. Do you have a new channel? I hope so. McCandless affected me, too. I went off in a camper in my sixties. It was not for me...
Same!
I don't think he's just gifted, he's proof hard work pays off with enough ambition, dedication and insanity anybody can make their interests apart of their profession
so basically the real hut in the woods were the friends we made along the way... nice
"Don't walk behind me; I may not lead. Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend."
- Albert Camus
I like this ! Ty
this is nice
and together we will walk in the ways of hashem
Not actually a Camus quote, but still a great quote nonetheless. (I think it started at Jewish summer camps)
@@schishcobob i learned it as a song in hebrew school.
"You just have to sit tight and wait to feel human again." That hit harder than what I was ready to take
I always hear that but the thought of waiting til death without anything changing for the better really worries me..
@@420StonedToParallelswaiting, not waiting, it doesn’t matter what you do. But, you have to always be looking for it, at least. Truly, you just have to want to look.
I needed that
Yeah dude was very relatable. Wondering if homie is secretly my fbi agent or something lmfao
@@RagnardtheGreat considering he's Bri'ish...it's possible. Our federal government does love to fund foreigners even though they're supposed to be all about the USA.
As a guy that spends a lot of time watching short term videos on tiktok and instagram reels, I find it amusing that this man has managed to make a 46 minute story so interesting, that not in a single moment while watching this, did my brain consisting of fried dopamine recepters, think to wander my attention over to something else. truly an amazing storyteller
Can you recommend a similar channel with live stories and thoughts well narrated? I would be thankful
@@markvel8605 there is another called "exurb1a". Also pretty good
if you'd like that but more about maths, physics and chemistry i really recommend veritasium
@@markvel8605
@@markvel8605 I really like Curious Archive's videos, "Sympathy for the Machine" video won me over
stop watching shorts. they make you get less interested in genuinly informative long videos. you just want to skip to something else. you probably know this but stop it before its too late. your attention span and patience will thank you 🙏 just giving advice
Completely stumbled upon this video by accident but holy moly did I need it.... I didn't even realize how much I needed it until you started talking about that desire, that need to be lost in the woods, alone... And maybe all of us at some point should say "fuck it" and go do something spontaneous that we aren't ready for, because that's the spice of life if you think about it... I've been - lets say - wallowing in my own depression, suffering from a lack of purpose and direction while simultaneously having everything I could ask for. A roof over my head, 3 square meals a day, a loving family that supports and cares for me, a career that pays my bills and lets me enjoy hobbies I've always wanted to pursue... Yet. There are still days that I cant get out of my own head, days where it feels like I can't do anything right and my whole life will come tumbling down around me. Days where I wish I could run off into the wilderness and never be heard from again. But I know that won't fix my problems, my own desire of self preservation would drive me back to the "real world" soon enough only to be met by all the things I selfishly abandoned, which have now grown to unfixable proportions and thus manifested in my greatest fear of ruining my own life over my own selfishness... Anyway. No one will read this but I guess what I'm trying to say is exactly the message this video is trying to convey, that I'm very lucky, and I should be thankful for the little things in my life and strive for bigger and better but running away off into the woods - as appealing as it sounds on shitty days at the office - will not magically fix my life or my mental health, only I can do that. I'm sure none of this made any sense but after 3 beers and a little self reflection, it feels good to get (whatever this is) off of my chest. Thank you.... From: A random American from Minnesota.
What you said totally made sense.
I think the key message you didn't mention is that you shouldn't run away community. Friends and family were always the important things. Even when he ran away, connection with others is what mattered the most. Take time to yourself when needed, sure. But open yourself to others and you will feel more free. Cultivate relationships like plants in your garden and they will grow. I hope you find more inner peace, stranger.
you are not alone in this fight my friend
The men yearn for the cabin in the woods
Hey, I get it exactly. If it helps at all, As you get older some wisdom kicks in and you start to see yourself as part of the world, part of your place in it and that weirdly helps put some of our despair into perspective. Good luck, friend, from a person in Illinois. (these winters don't help!)
The story about meeting people on the Appalachian Trail reminds me about how five year olds meet other kids in the park and immediately become best friends for the hour they're there, then leave and never see each other again. Thrown into a world we can't completely control, we act like children and become ourselves again.
This stupid comments section has gotten me all emotional. "we act like children and become ourselves again" made me tear up.
@@IceGoddessRukiasame… same 😢 we just need to stay true to ourselves and love the way we used to as kids sometimes… adults are just former children who are what they think an adult should be…at least that’s how I interpret it anyway :)
Very profound
This is so fucking beautiful, man
or travelling to a new city by yourself, suddenly knowing new somebodies, and they knowing you, more than your best friends... only to separate to your own corners of the world again, your tapestry of lives slightly richer for it. And who knows when your paths cross again.
"10 years passed, in the way 10 years does" is an amazing phrase. Someone younger won't understand how that happens until it does.
Take me, someone younger
Im only 17
10 years ago is over half my life
I couldn’t imagine that going by like it’s nothing
However, I do understand how it can happen
Especially to someone older, to where life isn’t nearly as new or important or exciting, I’d imagine it’s easy to lose track of the days go by, just existing in the same patterns and feelings with only the occasional reminder like a birthday or holiday to give notion to the times passing.
It’s a scary thought, one that I’ll try not to fall into but doubtful I’ll beat it
@@NekosForever No one said anything about 10 years passing “like it’s nothing” You have to be at least 18 or maybe 80 to understand
@@georgeeliot2012 woah pal
I’ll be 18 in 2 months I doubt I’ll have some surreal understanding of the world in that time
But regardless the way I interpret “10 years pass in the way 10 years does” as meaning the years are going by quickly and like nothing almost as if it went by without even noticing
if you ever look back at your first reply in 10 years, then I think you'll understand it. I doubt I would have understood it at 17 either@@NekosForever
@@NekosForeverat face value, yeah it sounds like that. but it's the personal experiences, thoughts, dreams, interactions and events that have unfolded or washed away that you really cant convey until you experienced it. you were so busy with your life that life kinda flew by. Not that you missed any of it, but a somber realization that time is slowly not on your side any more maybe.. at least that is how it is for me.
I think you wrote something really profound here, and you're an excellent narrator. Thank you for speaking to the restlessness a lot of us feel, I'm just as guilty about fantasizing scenarios that would "fix me" and this story really is grounding!
As someone who took off on a very long hike too, the west coast version of the Appalachian trail, PCT. I was the most authentic and human version of myself out there , after 6 months when I finished it to my great surprise, I still didn’t want to return to the world. But when I came back I also found beauty being around others, to write with a pen, paint, read, decorate a space, land in the same place each night. I miss the wilderness everyday, but I know I am not for returning, the people are more beautiful to me now. It is my most cherished adventure. Thank you for this video, it helped me process that lingering yearning for the journey.
“10 years passed in the way the 10 years does” - love it, this line gave me chills for some reason.
Came here to say this. Fuck.
Because you're 10 years old
Oh my Goodness, I just saw your comment when he said it. What a timing.
@@aceman0000099 😂
It was such an eerie feeling i couldnt help but give an awkward laugh
please don’t delete this one, I want to come back an listen again. :)
Does he delete them? I'm kind of new here and really enjoyed this so far!
@@jumbledfox2098 no
@@kdot78thank havens
Just freaked out thinking he deletes his videos 😭 can’t lose these gems
@@Emma-fq9pv same, i would be so sad! really hope someone is archiving these just in case
Me literally in a cottage in the woods and living my best life. It was the answer for me.
Yeah, putting blanket statements on what is and isn't a remedy for everyone is silly. This video concept is foolish.
i just want to throw myself into woods after reaching a certain point in my life
Wildlife must be really exciting:)
This had me in tears thinking about my own life and how young I am (21), to not stress about the things coming later and to just allow yourself to wait for good things to come. They can't be forced, like your first farming trip that couple had you in shambles, the universe gave you what you wanted and put a twist on it. You my friend are an ispiration to me and how I'm going to spend my life now, not looking for answers but allowing the answers I'm looking for to find me. I have a lot of passions in life, I have tried a lot of things, now I want to find the trousers that fit, if you will.
At 21, I was drifting through life. The world felt (and still feels) unreal - not in the sense of a psychosis, in the sense of dissociation. I fell into a college major, fell into housing, fell into graduating with a trash GPA, fell into a job. All the while thinking I'd figure out what I actually wanted to do "tomorrow". I am now 31, and I realized, there will never be something I "actually want to do". There are only things I want to do, and they need not be profound - in fact, they cannot be profound. I do things I want, I make progress towards those that will take time, and I do not fret about it any further. At your age, "drifting" was my curse. Now, "drifting" is my blessing.
I relate to your, "I have a lot of passions in life ... now I want o find the trousers that fit". Don't be worried if it takes a while to figure out what fits; and don't be worried if they only fit sometimes. It's ok to have more passions than you can quite keep up with - taking breaks can actually be pretty helpful as returning to a hobby after a month break can lead to new insights! (It can also lead to letting the month turn into a year which is less great, but, yknow)
this!! as a fellow 21 year old, i absolutely agree. may your search for the trousers that fit be a fruitful one.
It's both comforting and saddening to know that I am not unique in my struggles, that everything I'm feeling has been felt before, it all has an answer
Most likely something similar to what you feel has been felt before. But it hasn't been felt by you. And you are the only person to be yourself, and maybe you'll find a new answer... Living really is the only sense to being alive.
@@GlitterGremlyn There's a million paths but only few with purpose
@@Lil_T420 You define your own purpose. Maybe you have to dig for it, but it's up to you to decide.
It DOES have an answer. "Everything is totally random, came from nothing, goes to nothing, so what you got to worry about, NOTHING ! . . . so
Always Look on the Bright Side of Life".
"I can't even be unique in my struggles" - someone on the Internet somewhere.
"They hated eachother as new couples love eachother. It was an art to watch."
Precise, like Hemingway, you say
they hated each other with the same passion new couples adored each other
just wanted to say, this video actually helped me get through a really bad panic attack. your storytelling is incredibly immersive and allowed me to focus on the story and not my anxiety. amazing video! thank you!
I am watching this while sitting in my cabin. In the woods. In the highlands of Hawaii. I didn't come here with any delusion that I'd automatically be happy, but the real revelation, is that there is no revelation.
Dude I don’t understand how you still think you’re a bad writer, your brand of emotionally honest intellect has been such an inspiration for me, the way you admit your human flaws and weaknesses while weaving beautiful landscapes made out of words soothes my soul. You put your heart into these scripts and that’s what great art is. Personally I don’t think It gets much better than an intellectual stream of consciousness. And I feel like your opinions of your writing are more a critique of your soul rather than a critique of your talent
Sad how so many artists in so many fields are their own biggest critic,
This video is beautiful and I hope he knows that
This ^
Yes it reminds me of Ben lerner the American poet and his book leaving the Atocha station.
I have read one of exurb1a's books, and was just amazing, what a writer.
He is self ruthless because he's been ruthless and the self torture makes him feel better about his prior ruthlessness. You can't pain your way into getting better. You gotta fess up and ask for forgiveness from the ones you've wronged and actually make and take responsibility for it or do good things in the wake of it. He seemingly does neither so its self torture again. Everyone has a path back but it involves amend making and seeking forgiveness and idk if he's prepared for any of that still.
I've been seeing this on my feed for a while.
I am at a very low point at the moment and this is everything I needed, uncanny, thank you.
The Lord works in mysterious ways brother.
same
It has been a long day, one that felt like after I came home I would sink into my bed never to get up again, yet this video has rejuvenated me and given me the spirit to cry and be proud of it. Thank you for that, and please don't stop writing!
I know the feeling you described quite well. I'm beginning to think it's exhaustion from trying to use logic and reason to cope with an irrational world. It cannot be done, similar to the fact that you cannot divide a number by zero. I have no remark to make that offers a solution. I simply identify with your comment, and want you to know you are not alone, and I hope you are feeling better.
It's incredible that so many people missed the message of into the wild.
The answer is multiple huts in the woods with friends.
yeah or just live in a normal house in the woods and take frequent trips to the city, not huts but like houses
Love this
My master plan is to rope my three closest friends into living off grid with me. I love the woods. I love hiking. Iove nature, even when it's rough. But I also love my friends.
@@MrKoalaburger Tad bit twisted. Hope yall don't end up like that couple.
I rather have my family and a farmhouse surrounded by both empty and fertile fields. An occasional BBQ and bonfire with a small group of people would be nice though.
As a man who’s contemplated buying land in another country several times in just the last week alone, this hit me hard. I’m not ashamed to admit that I had tears in my eyes at multiple moments
I went through a very similar situation and experienced the same feelings as you did watching this video.
Don't give up on your dream to buy land, from my experience traveling, integrating into new countries and groups and living a simpler life all benefit you a lot, it may not be as straight forward as you think it will, however
We still need to have a home and have a dwelling. Buying land is the same as buying a house, purpose wise. Buying land to escape all social problems isn’t smart but buying land to live on doesn’t really have much to do with this video to be honest.
This is brilliant!
@@coryshea856thanks I thought this was a cons of living in the woods video 😂
I escaped to Yellowstone for a summer, one of those people who seemingly spawn in to work in the restaurants or general stores. I worked about five days a week but was constantly surrounded by the beauty of it all, finding myself becoming that of an extrovert in which I am not. It took me 20 years to realize that the problem I had with myself wasn't with myself, but rather those around me who traipsed and trampled any sense of identity in which I maybe had. This video had been reccommended to me shortly after my return to that same scenario, and I scoffed upon reading the title. I /had/ just successfully found several answers after escaping to the woods so, give me a little credit. After listening, I understand your points and would have to agree with you on them. It truly is amazing how quickly people can bond with one another when you're not faced with conflict of society or the burden of time. Thank you for verbalizing these concepts and adding more to think about.
One of the worst parts of being an introvert, neurodivergent, etc... is that you're simply not designed for generic society.
As he said, you eventually learn to "fake an illusion of being outgoing". But that generic form of "socializing" will always feel insincere and unsatisfactory.
We're just not made for it. I always come out of those types of interactions tired and annoyed. And I think part of it stems from the fact that you everything just feels so insincere and fake.
It feels like some childish game where everyone pretends that they're better than the other person, or where everyone is just trying to impress the other person.
But, as you mentioned, it seems like out in the wilderness people are just more real and honest. Those are the types of interactions I wish I had more often.
It's difficult to explain. I just hate how the universal advice everyone gives introverts is always "go to parties" or "just make more small talk" and other superficial "advice" of the same sort. You don't need to pretend to be an extrovert. Hang out with other introverts and weirdos and nerds and weebs, that's your tribe, they'll understand you.
One of the best talks I've listened to in a while, exceptionally well spoken and really describes the struggles all of us go through as young adults.
21 year old here. Its nice to get reminded that I'm, in fact, an idiot, and not feel offended by it. I'm lost, but I'm hopeful, listening to you gives me even more hope, people always write about you being "depression turtle", but I ironically always end up with some newfound energy and optimism after listening to one of your videos. Thanks
Fellow idiot 21 year old standing by
I'd like to say the same as a fellow 21 year old
I'm 21 years old as well. Feeling so lost and sad more than ever but still alive 👍. Glad I found the video.
I'm 20, currently hating myself for repeatedly not studying for University and wondering why I'm not getting anywhere. It's a bit calming to know that you're not the only one lost, but that most people are. And while you should try to get better, it's okay to not be completely fine and content and happy. I like to believe that I'm slowly coming out of a 2-3 year low in my life, maybe I'm not. Only time will tell.
97-year-old here, I concur.
I thru-hiked the Appalachian trail in 2017. It took 133 days, 130 of which were full of rainstorms and inclement weather. Every day was a new heap of bodily pain and the hardships of nature, but they were the most peaceful and enjoyable few months of my life. It propelled me on to several more excursions into wildernesses across the world and I am now an avid outdoorsman. If removing ones self from society and eloping into nature is not the answer, I agree it is certainly a catalyst that will show you where your priorities lie.
I personally find that my mind needs to be fed a hearty diet of stimulus and context with which to build inner beauty before it is possible to enjoy sitting alone at home in dark room. I think the moral of this guy's story is that the journey IS necessary, but it hardly matters what exactly it is. It just requires that you lay eyes on (and at least partially comprehend) some of the absurd beauty and complexity this world has to offer, and never forget it. You do need inspiration, but not for any one purpose. If you run out, it's time to go find more
Some trips both mentally and outwardly are meant to be had. Both propell us forward.
The unpleasant truth is that modern society is an exhausting, confusing, chaotic, needlessly stressful, uninspiring, bizarre, and often petty place to reside. Just consider the constant deluge of information thrown at the modern mind. How is it to cope? No surprise that excursions into the wild act as a reset button. The lone cabin in the woods is a fantasy. We're social and tribal creatures. Our roots have simply dried up through technological evolution. Maybe the answer is to occasionally go out and water yourself.
thank you once again, depression turtle
Your words alone were enough to keep me hooked for 40 minutes. I listened to this in a moment in my life were I truly need it. This resounded a lot with me, thanks for this, great work.
This guy is a genius! Only a writer can hate himself but casually write a masterpiece. He talked about the artist that dabbles around but “paints the Moana Lisa”. This guy is the same way. Very well written and edited video.
Too true
Moana Lisa
Man lisa
He is a rapist
i personally think this whole monologue shows you’re actually really good at writing. really enjoyed this!!
This is from Book
@@chrisandreas3142which one?
John 3:16
King James Version
16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
@DHunter_47 haha. That was a fuckin amazing punchline.
this is unbelievably profound. its beautiful and relatable, funny, engaging and has a few suckerpunches of base truths you've forgotten, avoided or been unable to express quite right. thank you, this is an achievment and very well written.
About 22 minutes in and had to stop and comment that I'm sat here crying uncontrollably at how much I can relate to this. Allowing myself to cry and to feel my emotions and express who I am is currently a part of my healing journey. You've put into words exactly how I feel about life, art and passion, and hearing that truth and that it's not a unique experience has me extremely moved. Thank you.
Well I almost cried at the end. Even if you don't end up writing some wildly popular novel, I hope you know that your thoughts are treasured by all of us and that I'm glad you're still here and still willing to share them with us.
They really are!!!
I did cry at the end lol. This was beautiful
I hate to ruin this for you but I think it's worse if you praise him without knowing. This guy is a r*pist and an overall bad dude, please look up the evidence for yourself as I can't link to anything in a youtube comments section.
What a beautiful thing to write.
Exurb1a is deadass one of the greatest video essayists out there. It sucks that he'll always compare his success to books, because in the land of video essays he is undoubtedly at the top of the top. He already achieved success, he already did that capital "G" great thing; his video essays. They are fantastic, life-changing, and just so compelling, and they are incredibly popular. I hope one day he'll realize it, and he'll finally be able to be happy with his accomplishments.
"Stories are just metaphysical investigations of reality with characters thrown in."
I love this.
This is one of the most fantastic things I’ve ever watched/ listened to. I’m in my mid 20s and there’s a lot to everything you’re saying that resonates. I’m really appreciative of you making this video, it’s spoken to parts of me that needed to hear it all.
Thank you for this. Listening to this the day after my 28th birthday, I don’t feel as lost as I did at 18, 21, or 25 but the feeling that isolation in the woods would fix certain questions for me is always alluring.
I understood for myself that it wouldn’t fix me, but I couldn’t quite articulate to myself why or how I knew this, and the only way to find the answer would be to go live in the woods until it became obvious.
The urge still remains, but after watching this I feel I could go for a camp/hike and appreciate it differently. Understanding it won’t be the answer to my problems, but help me find them.
Pls summarize the video i cant watch it all
@@KrazyKryptidi think there is some ai that can summarize videos
Lol heading into the woods to understand why heading into the woods wouldn't help you understand
Today... is the day after my 28th birthday, and i just finished the video. Didn't expect to see someone in such familiar shoes. Currently never been more motivated in my life to go on an exceedingly long hike with plenty of books to read, but i know myself and my lack of commitment so I'm just hoping that i still feel this way tomorrow. If so i think i do plan on going into the woods to find out why it's not the answer to my problems. Hope these past couple months have treated you well, and happy belated birthday !
The fact that you managed to keep me enthralled with a 40+ minutes story with a standing camera video in the year of our lord 2023, really tells a lot about your talent and the quality of your content. I'm so glad I found this
😂
well said
Exactly.
😂
Isn't that more about you than about him? He couldn't keep me enthralled. I barely made it to halfway through the video wondering when he was going to get to the bloody point and then just gave up. Kinda like the trail, I guess.
Pre watching, you are wrong
Post: in my stubbornness it is wrong, but I am yet to experience such events and I look forward to my learning.
lol
True
Ily brother brogan
came here to say this
@@pronglebeing8389 love you too pring
This was beautiful. Thank you for sharing it with us. I see myself in a lot of this; the struggles with creativity, the urge to live in the woods, the urge to travel like this, all during the throes of spiraling depression. These days, I still want to live in the woods- but I want at least three neighbors living within a mile, and I want it to be less than a 30 minute drive to get to town. I don't want to escape society. I specifically want to move to Alaska, because I grew up living in the woods there, and I miss how special it felt to wake up surrounded by so much beauty every day. It's not the same experience as waking up in a tent, but I still got to wake up and watch the sunrise on the mountain range. Cities are ugly, noisy and smelly. Paradoxically, I've found that it's harder for me to make friends in the city than out in the woods. I think city folk consider friends easier to come by, and therefore they're more picky about who they befriend. Where people are more of a rarity, they are more precious to one another. It doesn't help that I moved into an area affected by the "Seattle Freeze" phenomenon, where unless you grew up with someone, they don't want anything to do with you. I don't like living in crowded, noisy apartments, or places where I have to walk for half an hour to get to the nearest little park or patch of woods. I want to connect with both people and nature more, and have a little more control over what I do with my own home. I think those are not-mentally-ill reasons to want to move to a hut in the woods.
I came out of my adblocking browser just to come here and comment on this great post. I deeply resonate with your sentiment in regard to the value of nature. While there's certainly a rose-tinted glasses element to living in nature by society, for me it was when I practically lived in the woods for a couple months in my teens working for the Boy Scouts. My tent was terrible, but I lived for those days of isolation where I could wander the camps when everyone was gone for the weekend. It was a level of magic I've struggled to obtain again for nearly all of my adult life. It's not glamorous living, it's not this idea that things suddenly get easier that appeals to me. It's the isolation that makes us excited to make those precious connections once again. The loneliness epidemic is largely as a consequence of overstimulation from others be it at our job or at home with annoying family members that make us wanna just shutdown after work, not a word to say to anyone. It's worse to be around people that make you feel alone than to just be alone.
@@MisterN1 I couldn't agree more. Life in the woods is NOT easy, but solitude in nature is transcendentally beautiful. The decrease in overstimulation from being around other people means you appreciate your time with people more.
Funny enough, where I grew up in the bush people were massively cliquey.
Beautifully written. I’m a creative myself, and I found myself relating to so much of what you were saying. The feeling of guilt when you aren’t working constantly, the feeling of doubt when you experience the work of a pro. It all hit home. A few months ago I decided I would give up on my dream of becoming a musician. It was all proving to be extremely difficult and I started to hate putting myself out there to be judged and critiqued. I’m 23, and I’ve spent the last 7 years of my life trying so hard to reach this goal. I dropped out of school and started performing on the streets in London, and when I decided to give up, I felt like all of that hard work was for nothing. But at the same time, I felt that I didn’t have to censor my expression anymore. I didn’t have to worry about what people want to hear and dance to. I wrote some of my best songs during that short break, and last week I decided not to give up on music.
It is how you say it is. Either I make it, or I spend my life trying.
My girlfriend and I are about to head off on an adventure, she’s an amazing painter, and we are going to explore and create and enjoy for a few months :)
Anyway, I’m not a story writer, I’m sure you can tell by the lack of continuity throughout this comment! Loved the video, thank you for sharing your experience and making feel less alone❤
“Imagination is limitless.. spinal vertebras are not”😂 I loved listening to this, thank you for sharing!
😂
My only question would be: are there any non-spinal vertebrae? 🤔
You deadass cannot say you’re a bad writer when you’ve got me crying in the middle of the night while laughing at how silly my little human person problems are. You are one of the people I respect most in the world and I hope you recognized how loved you are.
+1
don't know how this found me in the middle of the night, but it came up to me exactly when I needed.
Love your writing and if you don't think your channel is already your great work of art, well then write that goddam novel, you'll never get it perfect, but in the end will realise how many people lives you've touched and how much they're thankful to you. Thank you.
you're not a human , you are it, smoke a large dose of DMT for the plot twist of existence
I've been putting off watching this for a while, but I'm glad I decided to watch it now of all times. Definitely had a lump in my throat at the end.
Dang I'm 1:49 in I love into the wild. Eddie Vedder did the soundtrack I think. I will listen to the end the comments are quite promising. I also suggest a movie called "into the void"
this is exactly how i feel 😭
This is one of the most beautiful things I've experienced. Thank you for sharing.
When my daughter climbs, i put my hand behind her, ready to catch, out of her sight because i want her to be confident. I wonder how many times in my life, did someone have their metaphorical hand ready to catch me, without my knowledge.
ua-cam.com/video/cjb5zLrbMUw/v-deo.html&ab_channel=IMBeggar
"Our internal lives aren't equasions to solve, there is no master theory of us, we don't arrange things right and forever live the rest of our lives in emotional utopia. It's more a succession of little fires one has to keep putting out hopefully learning to turn that into a dance."
That and many other passages are simply poetry. I appreciate your work very, very much.
This is a very sad and closed minded quote.
Almost inherently so. That's a 2D life without nuance or depth.
This quote hit me harder than a train wreck. I almost started balling at my desk while I work on complicated pieces of machinery. I think it hits all of us so hard, not because we are all working hard to achieve something in our lives, but because it's a perfect way of putting into words something we have known. I wish someday his books will begin climbing the ranks of best sellers lists and he will be known for his writing before he dies, but sadly like so many others that perform art it might not happen. @Exurb2a, please know in your heart of hearts that you have done incredible work which will always be remembered, even if it's in the distant future, or tomorrow.
@@eugenefanboy4478On the contrary, it's an unflinching acknowledgment of nuance.
It's Socratic in that the more you learn, the more aware you become of your own ignorance. There is no master plan.
It's Stoic because to learn "the dance" of putting out the fires is to accept that pain and uncertainty are indisputable, non-negotiable parts of life while also appreciating the artfulness necessary to carve out a life worth living.
@Nateolison I still disagree. This quote is not stoic at all.
It doesn't reflect any sort of depth within these dances. It just states that the dance itself is the importance of life. That's not stoic whatsoever. You aren't painting depth within these dances, you're just accepting them, and learning to embrace them. That's not really stoic.
I don't agree with that.
The goal of life, in my eyes, is to break the dance.
To realize that there is no dance, the dance is an endless cycle of desire and pursuit.
There is, per say, an "emotional utopia" to experience. But it's not really a utopia, more of just freedom from the binds of the dance.
It's nihilistic to think that way, and it doesn't reflect the values of stoicism at all.
@@eugenefanboy4478
Oh I don't know about that. It's human and generous to the grandiose pretensions we may have about what that's about. Someone walking their own path gently punctures the Redemptive Narrative he wrote beforehand and finds life more simple and richer for doing so, surely?
“It’s more a succession of little fires one keeps putting out, hopefully learning to turn that into a dance”. That line was too damn good you should be proud af that was beautiful
Life is a dance not a race 💘
I'm uncertain as to why this captivating video resonates with me as it does. Until tonight, I hadn't expected to be stirred by a mere UA-cam video. Yet, within the initial quarter of your narrative, my empty living room transformed into an incredibly surreal space. I'm not entirely sure what you've set in motion, but I find myself filled with emotions that defy my understanding. I'm unsure whether expressing gratitude is appropriate, but this, without a doubt, stands as the most intense and utterly thought-provoking video I've exposed myself to. Congratulations on gaining a deeper self-understanding; I hope to reach that point one day.
I cried so hard at the end. Thanks, I needed to hear this.
Beautiful storytelling by the way!
You know what's funny? You think you're not a good writer but you write scripts for your videos and they turn out to not only be stunning but fucking inspiring. You portray a lot of different feelings and hold the interest of the reader, (listener in this case) very well. Each one of your videos brings a different take and view on subjects. It's a roller coaster of emotions and ideas that create a truly beautiful cocktail of art.
Thank you for everything you do. You're truly quite a special person, in your own way.
Truly. Exurb1a is already an established household name, at least in my family. My brother and I stay up to date on the latest stories, and often reflect together. I imagine, assuming a platform for it still exists by that time, that we will surely pass a love of these stories and thought experiments on to our own families one day, and so on and so forth. It's obvious enough that we will not be alone in that. As a writer, if that's not the ultimate goal, the most primordial urge (to have part of one's self carried atop the marching back of human memory even after the window of physiological existence has closed) I truly do not know what is.
Agreed!!
While I have to agree with you on everything you said, starting the comment with "you know whats funny" only to then proceed to not tell anything of jolly fun is pretty disappointing.
his work is phenomenal but just a reminder that he's a convicted rapist. you can separate the art and artist, but can't call him special.
@@MorbiusBlueBalls per-never been convicted - guy
This man just explained life in 45 minutes whilst being funny and not too serious, and ending with a beautiful poem, a work or art.
And on his "side channel for things that don't fit the main channel".
And your comment also sums the ratio to live a good life
This is my favorite existential crisis channel on UA-cam no doubt. Love it! You're an amazing storyteller. I laughed few times, i teared up too.
Your writing is beautiful and you have an incredibly soothing voice. Thank you for making my afternoon
I've never seen your channel before and I clicked this video because I've always had a dream of living alone in the woods. I don't typically listen to podcasts or watch videos like this, I listened to this whole video and I loved it. Absolutely beautiful content.
Try his other channel too
Exactly same.
@@adamlowe1072 I didn't even know he had this channel, only ever saw the stuff on his other one. I feel like I just discovered a whole treasure trove with this new channel to dive into.
Literally same, listened to this in my lunch break from work and I am returning to work a changed woman! Beautiful! Sharing stories and experience like this makes me grateful for the internet bringing people with similar views/ideas together.
Hell yes to 46min of exurb1a, you just made my day!
exurb2a 😡
@@yungrawi llet us make babys
BRO you are such a good storyteller! I would 100 percent read a book about your experience in New Zealand. Listening to your story felt like an audio book don’t give up writing!
This was a brilliant listen, from the voice through the pronunciation to the story and what you made of it all. Thank you very much, I shed a tear and I'm now this much happier and at peace. :) ❤️
40:36 That line about cats really hit me. My elderly cat turns 16 this year and she got into a fight with an extremely large bengal cat in December 2022 (she was a runt and is only a little larger than your average chihuahua). She, as you said, completely shut down and we were unaware why until we found the wounds on her neck. One got infected and after 2 vet visits and lots of sleeping on laps, she fully recovered and was full of life once more. I'm glad she has become so much more affectionate, not that she never was before, but she comes to find me after university and sleeps in my lap while I sit in my desk chair and use my computer. I think that bengal encounter has made her realise we are here to help her, and when her time comes, she'll pass in my lap instead of somewhere alone - at least thats what I hope.
I think you're onto something.
When my grandmother died, among other things, we inherited her cat. We brought it over to our house, and it immediately bolted to hide under a table in the basement. If you tried to reach in to pet it and reassure it, you'd get swiped at.
I wanted to pet the damn cat. So I tucked in my fingers, reach in, and got swiped at.
But when it got it's claws in my skin, I dragged it out by that and held it in my lap and petted it until it started purring and knew I wasn't there to hurt it. Repeat process until cat gets used to it's new surroundings.
So when it got old and fat and started to die, it came into my room to lay down.
I listened to the entire video, surprised at myself for having somehow not cried, and this comment is what did it. Thank you.
thanks
Ah yes. Because if your cat doesn’t want your love, obviously the best choice is to just force it on them until they learn to appreciate it - the ol snuggle struggle technique.
somehow you always post when i need it most in my life, thank you for being who you are, love you man, keep yourself safe and i hope youre doing well
Maybe you just need exurb1a all the time…
Couldn’t agree more
Brother has precog depression 💀
How can he be anyone else? Would you buy a pie for him? Love! ?
00:00 📜 Happiness often feels simple, but sadness can be complex and unique.
02:30 🌲 Seeking solace in nature, the narrator spends a year volunteering on farms in New Zealand.
05:06 🏞 Living in a yurt initially fulfills the wilderness dream, but the novelty wears off, and the narrator feels increasingly isolated.
06:58 🌄 The idea of hiking the Appalachian Trail emerges as a way to find purpose and inspiration.
11:27 🚶♂ The decision is made to embark on the Appalachian Trail hike as a form of escape, seeking renewal and a break from the struggles of writing.
15:09 ☕ Hiking the Appalachian Trail becomes a transformative journey, offering simplicity, routine, and a break from vices.
16:05 🎒 The narrator shares the practical gear used for the trail, emphasizing the importance of reliable equipment.
16:18 🌌 The first days on the trail bring a sense of excitement and realization of the freedom and solitude of the wilderness.
16:31 🏕 The narrator describes the experience of camping in the woods, finding a sense of safety in a sleeping bag despite the natural sounds around.
17:13 📚 While hiking, the narrator rediscovers the joy of reading, consuming various books and realizing the pleasure of immersive reading in the solitude of the forest.
18:51 🤝 On the trail, interactions with fellow hikers are immediate and easy, with a shared context and common purpose, making conversations more genuine and enjoyable.
19:48 💡 Reflecting on past experiences, the narrator recognizes that putting immense pressure on creative pursuits for personal transformation can lead to frustration and disappointment.
21:10 🎭 The narrator values the clarity of knowing their lifelong passion for working with words, acknowledging the privilege of having such a clear calling in life.
25:31 🍪 Deprivation on the trail magnifies the joy of simple pleasures like finding a stray Oreo, highlighting the impact of scarcity on one's perception of enjoyment.
27:37 🌍 The common adventure of hiking fosters a sense of camaraderie among hikers, creating shared experiences and connections with strangers in the vastness of nature.
29:01 🚶♂ A challenging moment occurs when the narrator gets lost on the trail, emphasizing the vulnerability and disorientation that can happen even in well-marked environments.
31:06 🌳 The beauty of the trail is described as beyond words, evoking a deep appreciation for nature, self-reflection, and a realization of one's past behavior and stress.
32:19 🍟 The narrator finds joy in the simplicity of town stops, enjoying beds, extra fries, and large American portions, appreciating the comfort and convenience of civilization.
33:14 🌍 The speaker experienced cultural differences in the United States, particularly noting the friendliness of strangers in contrast to European norms.
34:53 🥾 Trail life created a parallel universe of self-sufficient hikers living at a different pace, fostering a unique and comfortable community.
35:22 🤝 The culture of self-sufficiency on the trail inspired a sense of independence, with hikers capable of resourcefulness and problem-solving.
36:18 🚀 The speaker visited the U.S. Space and Rocket Center, highlighting his passion for space exploration and encounters with engineers from the Apollo program.
37:55 💭 The speaker reflects on the trail, realizing it didn't bring the expected epiphanies, but the quiet months after returning helped him understand the nature of creativity and inspiration.
38:51 🌌 The speaker acknowledges that the search for inspiration and self-discovery doesn't follow a formula, emphasizing the unpredictable nature of creative moments.
40:43 🏡 The realization dawns that home, where friends and imperfections reside, is where the speaker truly belongs, contrasting the idea of living like a hermit in the woods.
41:25 🌲 Christopher McCandless' insight, "Happiness is only real when shared," becomes a central theme, challenging the notion of solitude as a solution to internal struggles.
42:08 🤝 Opening up about mental health struggles is encouraged, as friends may offer support and understanding, dispelling the need to hide from shame.
43:18 🔍 Life is a continuous process of self-discovery, with the speakerembracing the ever-changing nature of personal growth and the mysteries within.
I never comment on UA-cam videos, but this was an exceptional listen and has come to me at a time in my life where I've been feeling a little lost. Thank you.
I clicked this video on a whim and 40 minutes of hanging on to every word later I feel so moved. This felt so much like an audiobook that after I finished I had to double check it wasn’t a reading of a published novel! Thank you for your hard work and sharing your story, I feel like I have to watch this 8 times over until it’s imprinted in my brain!!
I was literally searching in the comments to know if it wasnt an audiobook
that is exactly how i feel, thank you for putting this into words
Can confirm this is exactly how it went for me- though I didn't necessarily think it was a book already, I felt it should become one.
after the recent hbomberguy video i honestly considered multiple times if this was also ripped off somewhere. I figured not, I'd always enjoyed exurb1a's content
The way you describe your 20's rings true to to my own
Also, as someone who works in hospice, I can tell you that when you spend a lot of time around people that are 99 years old it starts to put ones own age into perspective.
32 feels young when you are around a Centenarian
I just want to say, thank you for doing such an emotionally exhausting job. Please take care of yourself and don't get burned out.
@@SuLokify Thank you for such a kindhearted comment
@@ThorPalsson Hospice was great to some of my family members. They made them remain comfortable and the whole process as painless as it could be.
How could I not say thanks to anyone doing such a difficult but necessary service?
@@SuLokify Glad to hear that your family members got quality care at the end
This guy saying he can't write, but he can describe such visceral scenery and trigger such human emotion to enthrall over 3.5 million people in less than a year. And as someone natively from North Georgia, who has always wanted to hike the Appalachian, I am now even *more* inclined to make it a life goal. Beautiful storytelling, enthralling and smooth voice. Please write books and narrate them too.
This was absolutely beautiful. As an environmentalist, I can't help but think that a hike in the woods DID help you, though. Nature has a healing quality to it. It allows us to live in the moment, appreciate beauty, be grateful and fuel our childlike wonder. Perhaps subconsciously the woods, and the people, helped push you to self discovery. At least for me, whenever I'm lost I go for a hike in the woods.
As a silly and naive 21 yo, I want to thank you for this. As "simple" as this simple story is, I found myself lost in it. You are a great writer and storyteller, and most importantly for me, you do a fantastic job at making me reflect on situations I've never found myself in.
Good luck 21. Be silly and curious, naive and humble. Stay as free as possible. Challenge yourself. Experience what you can. Read what you can. Try not to worry. Travel. Learn. Endure. And trust the process of growth.
Sincerely,
34
I’m 24. I feel like I’ve matured so much since 21, but I know in another 3 years, I’ll look back at myself today and think “wow what an absolute joke of a person”. Because that’s what life is about- constantly bettering yourself, getting wiser, reflecting on the idiocy you lived in before and (while you may miss it at times), be grateful you don’t live there anymore.
@@phoenix3992 Good luck 34. Be patient with yourself and make sure you take time to reflect on the journeys you've been on and plan for the ones yet to come. Let things go. Take nothing personal. Show your light. Keep growing and keep going.
Sincerely, 47
Hold up. Reflect? Look, you, NOBODY can REFLECT on an experience UNLESS they have it.
@@elisamontrose-roback676 Thank you Ms. Montrose. I'm fully onto that and so much more! Cultivating that divine spark. Calling found. Walking the path.
"Imagination is limitless; spinal vertebrae are not."
This is such a transferable piece of wisdom in life.
A cabin in the woods is the answer. Build a 500 sq ft cabin, on cheap land, big garden, root cellar. Cut overhead costs of food, water, rent, mortgage, etc and save to pay off offgrid land. Build your own utilities (but skip the outhouse and go straight to bathroom lol). Make a business.
Do all this and you can live better than what we all do now. It just takes a few thousand saved. Rice and beans until you have the cabin supplies, land, basic utilities, generator, etc.
This is also something to build a UA-cam with so make social media as soon as you start this and document it.
I’ve been putting off watching this because I felt like it would tell me things I wouldn’t like to hear, but would be better for having heard. Today I finally gave it a listen. Thank you for making this video and sharing your thoughts and experiences, it felt like a balm to my soul.
i dont know what to call you (parasocial relationships are weird), but i just wanted to say that the work you have published on your channels over the years has evoked emotions & introduced philosophies that are just as if not more powerful than almost any book, or movie, or documentary, or conversation ive ever had with anyone else.
we all go through those cycles of sadness & anxiety, thinking we arent good enough or haven't done enough good to justify our lives, so id like to just say now for if you ever have future doubts: your work has changed me for the better, and im sure it has changed many others too. that is something you should be immensely proud of, and im not sure theres any greater goal you could look to achieve in your life
Same here. I still remember when "10,000 More Years of the Scientific Method" came out, as I was just starting university in the engineering field, it pumped me up and fed my hunger of wanting to understand how the world works. The "long" videos of condensed uncountable hours of thought, maybe intentional, maybe just because the ceiling was looking particularly nice that day. The humour, so on part with mine, love it. The constant cycle of existential crises that I also go through and that I usually want to share and bond over with other people in my physical space but can't because somehow everyone knows who they are and it's almost like only I ponder about this stuff.
So yeah, parasocial relationships are weird man.
This is a perfect summary of my own thoughts. Thank you both. For a better mind now and tomorrow.
Just be aware that he manipulated and raped a girl. All the info is publicly online.
I hold very similar sentiments
@@CeliaTyree hi,
so as far as i know, this sa case that you mentioned is just an accusation. its a very serious accusation, but i do believe its important to uphold "innocent until proven guilty".
ive looked into the evidence & it seems like the victim, who was quite mentally unstable, accuses exurbia of conducting a prolonged experiment on her in which he makes things called "synchronisations" (which is the thing where 2 things that are connected happen closely together, leading you to think it was "fate". eg: when you think of a certain thing, a certain song starts playing on the radio, which is connected to the thing youre thinking about).
the victim claims that in 2016, exurbia repeatedly fabricated synchronisations around her as some sort of experiment, to the point where she became extremely mentally unwell & delirious. she then took a large amount of medication, was sa'd by him & hospitalized, then sa'd again after exiting hospital.
the only evidence behind this claim, afaik, is a voice mail in which exurbia mentions how synchronisations are very intruiging to him & might be explainable by science. but that is it. i couldnt find any actual evidence pertaining to the sa apart from accusations.
the claim of sa was eventually filed 8 months after she exited hospital (allegedly as a result of poor police procedure), which was late 2017.
3 years later, a dutch journalist investigated the story & some dutch articles were written on the topic.
then, around a year ago, a youtuber made a video on the topic discussing everything.
since then, i couldnt find any new evidence that has been released or developments on the case.
please feel free fill me in if ive missed anything important. but right now, i think it is much wiser to handle this situation as an accusation which has not been neither confirmed nor denied & nothing more, and let the authorities handle it if necessary
It's so surreal because I'm in my early 20's and want a similar sort of escapism in the wilderness. Over breaks in college, I would usually pack up my car and go drive far off and camp in the mountains somewhere for weeks on end. I've always felt at peace just walking up these mountains and far away from everyone. It would help clear my head about my career, expartner, drama, family, or whatever. I've felt this need to go on this grand adventure before I settle down with the degree I get when I graduate but I have no idea where to start. Some of my friends who have already graduated have been talking about buying a plot of land and living off of it for a year or so. Another part of me just wants to do my own thing. I still have no idea but we'll see where it goes.
Thanks for the insight, space turtle
As someone who actually lives in a cabin the woods l feel l must give two words of warning.
1 chores.
2 country folk.
wat would you eat
I'm in my last year of uni. I'm planning on disappearing into the wilderness of Spain for a few months after I graduate. Just walking, camping, vibing. The thought of doing this is the only thing keeping me going at this point.
@@blahbleh5671 What you forage and or catch.
@@SofaKingShit What was with the County folk?
Bro made the best argument for having a cabin in the woods by making this video. He would have never made these realizations if he never tried.
I feel like this resonates with so many people in todays society. This is a masterpiece of a story as well as a gem of good advice all at once and I am all here for it. Beautiful video!
As someone who's hiked the Pacific Crest Trail and very much desires to live in a hut in the woods at times, this video is a great way to help get you into a better mindset about everything and not setting unreasonable expectations for mental health through the wilderness. You line about not using the trees for your own agenda really struck home with me.
Fellow PCT hikers here. I've noticed since being home from the trail that the wilderness was amazing but it was really the people I was with while on trail that impacted me the most. The best part about a thru hiking for me wasn't necessarily the wilderness aspect but the vulnerability it forces everyone to have. Friendships were formed so easily and coming home I felt an immediate contrast to it.
@@attackofthelumbie9029 For me it was more a combination of things. I had great interactions with so many people but am only in contact with 1 person after the trail, never building too much in the way of lasting friendships. A bad situation with another hiker kind of put a damper on a lot of it. Ultimately what kept me going was the sense of adventure, having a simple goal in mind every day, and joy that can come from relative depravity. I'm hoping to do more long distance hiking though and am keeping an open mind to forming stronger relationships with fellow hikers.
I'm hiking the PCT in a little over a month; this is excellent perspective.
How long did it take to hike it?
@@apeugnius a little over 5 months
My guy, this sounds like an audiobook. By that I mean to say this video is extremely well crafted, you're a true writer.
It lays in "a good writer knows he's a bad writer"
This was beautiful. It came to me when I needed it most and it blew me away. Thank you.❤
Haven't finished the video yet, but i just wanted to say that Geometry for Ocelots was so unlike anything i've ever read and so incredibly impressive that after a year or two i still haven't fully processed it. Among other heavy feelings it awoke an emotion of spacey lonliness that i just cannot describe and i'm still building up the courage to reread it. Truly something special...
this! same for the fifth science
The three or four books of his that I own all fall into this category... Only author that I have bought all the book I could get in print. (I dont care for kindle).
is there a real story or is it more about the philosophical ideas?
There is a story
@@yungrawi there’s an unpredictable, vaste yet microscopic, emotional yet scientific, beautiful story that ties it all together.
I’m 20 currently, confused as fuck studying at uni. I’ve always loved your creative story telling but sometimes these quirky little stories mean more to mean than I could know. You seem to tackle the phenomenon of being lost quite a bit, but this story was very grounded and human. Something about listening to this while going to my part time in the morning made me feel some type of way. Your stories always stick with me, or at least some part of me, thank you :)
looks like were in similar spots, this story was eye opening for me. hope all is well with you. lets all of us keep getting lost in the good ways.
Aye bro read a book called inventing Elliot by Graham Gardner. It's not going to give you any answers but it might get you asking useful questions.
At 28 the best advice I can give you is don't get drunk about it. Especially if you're sad or pissed off and never alone. I wasted so much time on that and then I wasted more time being bummed out about the time I wasted.
Get into something physical, boxing is always good even if you don't like fighting, it'll get/keep you fit and build confidence. Nobody has ever said "I wish I didn't learn how to block a punch"
Messing with electronics is great too. I build my own electric skateboards and bikes. Scooters ain't worth the effort trust me. Fucks your back up and can't carry half as much as a bike or go as many places unless you wanna drop 2k.
Also taught myself glassblowing at your age, gonna get back into that when I have a shed to put a kiln in.
Airbrushing is fun and relatively cheap and you can make some real pretty stuff without much "talent" and some freaking amazing stuff if you put the work in.
We don't have any more purpose in life than what we give ourselves. Look after yourself, look after your day ones but don't take shit from them either. Keep your head up and keep moving forward and you'll be alright man.
This isn't me, I feel better knowing that my life is in better shape than his was at the same age
Why are you confused? You aren't doing what you want? I was lucky to realize everything was BS while a child, so I never fell for the lies of the 'system.'
I only went to college when I knew exactly what I wanted to do; I act with absolute certainty in all my actions. If you are confused, take a step back and figure out what you actually want to do is, and then do it. No doubt, no hesitation
@@pyropulseIXXI are you trolling or is this your genuine advice?
Damn..... your story nearly made me cry. Im going through the same problem in my life currently and truly cant thank you enough for sharing this incredible story of yours. After all, my favourite thing in life is stories. Each and every one of them has there own unique profound beauty, and i truly enjoy hearing them, thank you.
Thank you so much. It's been an honest while since I've genuinely laughed, and you helped me to rediscover how to step back and enjoy this life like one big hike, enjoying every day and its new challenges like the ever changing scenery of the Appalachian Trail
There has never been a better title more perfect and more eloquent than yours- “ the answer is not a hut in the woods” those few words reached out from the endless abyss of words and told me I must stop what I’m doing and listen to what this person has to say. I’m so glad they did, because that was exactly what I needed to hear and it found me exactly where I could be found. Thanks.
I feel like when I saw this title it was from god directly to me
Meaningless bullshit unless the alternative answer you come up with is anything except "Violent revolution against capitalism"
@@accelerationquanta5816 ding ding ding. somebody has read history!
Pretentious
when you started talking about how we don't desire things, we desire desire, and how friendships were really real and genuine really fast but without expectations, I just got tingles all over and I got filled with a feeling I haven't felt in a long time. I haven't done any long hikes like that, but I was homeless quite often in my teens. A lot of people think homelessness is the worst thing that could happen to you - for me it was one of the best. It was fucking heartwrenching and messy and tragic and dangerous lots of the time, sure. But dear god, I hope I never forget the joy of scavenging a handful of cigarettes and panhandling a plastic bag of three (!!!) oreos, coming back to the youth shelter and getting two friends so you can each have an oreo and a cigarette, because it was just too lucky not to share. When I went to sleep, in an alley or a shelter, I never knew if I'd wake up the next day. I was using hard drugs and had frequent lung infections, and if I was sleeping outdoors it was even more risky. And yet I have never slept so soundly. Maybe that's just from the exhaustion of carrying everything you own, but hey. Any bed was cloud nine. My relationships were so much more meaningful - the homeless people in my city were like a big family (not that they all liked each other, but so it is with most families), and those people cared for me more than most of my blood family had. But without a sense of owing or being owed. And my real, like, inner-circle "street family" - I've never had relationships like that before and sometimes I fear I never will again. Our world wasn't fair. Sometimes 14 year olds got killed or OD'd and died. You never knew who it'd be next - but someone would be next. And that's some really fucked up stress for teenagers to live under, but fuck, it totally changed me for the better. You realize what matters. You realize that death doesn't discriminate, and that alone means most differences are pretty inconsequential. You become more forgiving, you realize that most people's lives are fucked in ways you can't even imagine, and they're probably trying their best. But if you really do have a problem with something, you speak up more willingly. And most of all, a lesson I wished I hadn't learned the hard way, if you love someone, for fucks sake, just tell them. Yeah, maybe it is awkward, but tomorrow they might be dead, or you might be, and you might spend the rest of your life wishing you'd just said it. Anyway, yeah, it really is the simple things
I’m hoping you’re in a better place now. What a childhood to go through, wow. Thank you for sharing the wisdom you earned.
@@nicolehart4595 ahah yeah it was a trip. I'm mostly alright these days xx thanks!
@@alexpender6317 I hope you truly are. I realised reading your comment that it doesn’t even matter to me how or why you were in that situation, but I felt I was there with you, and the how or why didn’t fucking matter at the end of the day when you had to lay down to sleep in the “civilised” outdoors. Bless you for taking the time to share. I learnt more from this comment than I have in many years of talking to … well, anyone really .
@@danielvaega awh hey that means a lot to me honestly xx thanks man!
Incredible. I hope you write
I love how this is bringing so many people and their stories together. This is humanity. This is beautiful.
Thanks for sharing your story man. Something I really needed to hear right now. Wherever you're at on your journey these days, hope life is well with you 🤗
This was beautiful. You are a gifted storyteller. Never stop doing this.
Having already listened enraptured to Exurbia's works before, it was funny to hear him describe his younger self despairing at not being able to match the standards of Thoreau or Austen, instead only imitating them and hating himself for doing so.
Well, it was only because he was imitating their medium. I daresay ol' Henry and Jane would've felt just as hopeless were they to have been born after him, trying to attain-yet-not-imitate _his_ style in a UA-cam video like this.
The thing about the Greats of established mediums is that usually, they were great because of what _new_ things they brought to the table, not because they were simply imitating what already came before themselves. There was often something so new, raw, risky, and dynamic about their work that they made an indelible mark, which many of them never got to even reap the rewards of because there hadn't been enough time for their "cream" to settle to the top of the massive barrel of same-y imitators. This is how art does.
Someday, in the future, the UA-cam era will be a thing of the past. And those who were most impacted by such long-form video essays as Exurbia's will naturally have memories of what/who impacted them most, and those old creators with the most deep and widespread impact will naturally be the most remembered. The "Greats" of this format _will_ be remembered, even if not today. And I believe Exurbia is,and will be, one of them.
@@SomeUA-camTraveler amazing comment
Being depressed, it's really hard for me to stay focused on a single thing without doing anything ekse for a long time. But I clicked on this video, and started to listen... Then, 46:25 minutes later, I find myself writing this comment. You managed to hook me, and I'm not even a native English speaker. Your words did resonate deeply within me ! Reading the others comments, I guess we all agree that you're anything but a bad writer ! Your storytelling was so fluid and sincere, thanks for sharing it with us
Non-native English speakers on their way to create the most coherent sentences in English:
I have a much better and real solution that doesn't involve useless new age claptrap. That is to GET OUT OF AMERICA. Go to a HAPPIER FREER country like the Philippines or Thailand or Cambodia or Latin America, etc. America is unfriendly, toxic, antisocial, misanthropic, etc. Everything there brings you down. When you leave America a huge burden is lifted off your shoulder. You feel freer, better, less isolated, no social anxiety etc. Because people abroad have REAL SOULS you can connect with and are not soulless like in America. There is no ice wall between strangers in most other countries too so you can connect with people and DATE as many women as you want. ZERO social anxiety or isolation. And LOWER cost of living. What more can you ask for?! In the Philippines I have unlimited dating, sex, girls, romance, fun, freedom, etc. And much lower cost of living too. What more could you ask for?! Going to SE Asia is a true paradise. When you experience all this you will kick yourself for not leaving America sooner! That's the REAL SOLUTION. No BS. But most people won't tell you about it because it's taboo to talk about this for some reason. If you see my podcasts you will learn more about why my solution WORKS and has no BS cliches that are useless like other UA-cam videos do.
I relate to everything you said, and I'm not a native english speaker either, although I mostly consume content in english, this video is amazing, this is what I pay youtube premium for
You got this, hang in there, thinks will always get better!
Is that really how long this was? I did the dishes, cleaned the kitchen and fed my plants some stinky compost water while I listened to it. I'm not usually that productive. It was a bit magical wasn't it?
incredibly well spoken. haven’t been brought to tears by a description of something in a long time 😊
Thank you exurb1a. I've had my own Christopher McCandless fantasies for about as long as I have known your channel (about 10 years). I turned 18 yesterday, and I'm very excited about the rest of my life. There has been a few rough years in there, but the path ahead looks bright. Thank you for this video!
Yo I also turned 18 recently! Happy late birthday 🎉🎉🎉🥳🥳
So basically the only way to find out if a hut in the woods is the answer for you is to first try living in a hut in the woods
Essentially
I can live in a hut in the woods and never leave the chair I'm sitting in. We live in a matrix. Whatever you wish to imagine, you can make yours.
To begin to toboggan
@Sheaintartist Of coarse it doesn't work like that. Whatever is created within this socially created 3d matrix is always what we will observe within this socially created 3d matrix. Our minds can venture outside of that into other matrix. You can go as profound or mundane as you wish. While imagining the hut in the woods, you must go there with all possibilities of glorifications as well equally suppressions normally found in this 3d matrix.
@@ltwig476idk bro just sounds like God's creation. Three Spatial dimensions and one time
Guy gaslights us into thinking he can't write, but in the end he wrote this masterpiece 😂
Yep. He deserves a kick in the butt for saying that. I too can sentences btw.
First video/story that has held my full attention in AGES. Great captivating storytelling! Thank you!
I turned 22 years old 2 hours ago. I was scared going into this video. From the title alone, I was sure I was about to have the shit called out of me. I was scared, but it felt so serendipitous that this message arrived to me in the first hours of my 22nd birthday that I had no choice but to listen. Of course, instead of the judgement I was offering myself, I got a beautiful insight into the human experience, growing up, and "purpose". I am not the biggest believer in fate, but I am deeply grateful for this coincidence nonetheless.
Ps: Just yesterday, I recommended your channel to my younger sister (she is a lot like young you, an artist at heart, struggling to find her path and feeling like she could never amount to something Great. She is already Great in my eyes
I'm turning 22 years old in 9 hours and 50 minutes. And I feel much like you do. I think and hope that those "coincidences" of finding the straightforward answers where and when you least expect them never stop.
Happy birthday!!!💜
@@almarc very happy day of birth 🗣️📢
you should try Wwoofing like he says at 3:00, I did it for 6 months last year it was great :)
Come back on your 30th lol
This really resonated with me. I had a partner who had a similar idea about going into the world and trying to find himself. But the more I talked to him about why he wanted to do that, the more I realized that the answers he was looking for were right in front of him, blurry and unfocused because of how close he was looking at them. You miss the forest for looking too closely at the leaves
I tried to explain that it felt more like he was running from himself instead of running to something. That life can just be life, and there is happiness in the little things (I went through my own similar crisis after I lost my drive for an art career)
But it wasn't the answer he wanted to hear...
We split after a while because I wanted a quiet life at home with friends and a family, and he wanted to be alone. I loved him dearly and desperately during that time, what little time it was. This video reminded me of how much of this has to be understood alone, and you can't love someone into reading the answers of their life
Mike, if you're reading this, I hope you find yourself again...and please don't eat random mushrooms
“please don’t eat random mushrooms” 🤣
@@Elel765 Let's all just ignore this guy ^^^^^
Okay I get your point but is it not arrogant to assume you have the answers to someone else's problems? If it were that easy, he would have found it out himself. I'm more like your boyfriend and want to leave where I am right now but other than you, I don't have family and friends to keep me here even though I put effort in trying to find community. Please be aware that community doesn't come easy for everyone and I can imagine that that might have been a driving force for your ex. People are not meant to be lonely so they find ways to cope.
@@Shirumoon Hey there, just thought I'd chime in as I'm in between the two: I very much crave going away to maybe a hut in the woods, but I also have friends. Good friends that I know love me very much. Yet I still feel alone a lot. I don't think it's arrogant to assume that you know the answerd to someone else's problems. Of course they won't all work and be the right answers, but I believe that usually, for most people, the answer isn't to be alone. The answer may be to be temporary alone, and for a few people it may be for a longer time. But overall I believe that it is human to want to belong. The only problem is finding people that you feel like you belong with. And to get there, maybe being alone is the answer for now. Because how can you know who you belong to without first getting to know yourself.
I just today returned from a trip to the woods. It was just one night sleeping in a hammock under a tarp, realizing how easy it is to get that alone time, that made me feel like I've gotten closer to what I want. The issue is that I'm back home and I cannot, for the life of me bring myself to reach out to my friends and ask if they would like to hang out. The problem here isn't my community, it's me. And I believe that there will be many more nights alone or with a temporary love interest in the woods (and hopefully lots of productive therapy sessions), before I will not only know, but also feel that my friends are the answer. But first I need to become friends with myself again.
@@gingershadow6837 That was an incredibly beautiful response. Cheers
Takes a lot to get someone like myself to sit and listen to anything for 40+ minutes but something about your writing and narration captured my attention. Definitely hit home on some things I've been feeling and dealing with recently and it's very comforting to hear them echoed here. Glad the UA-cam algorithm gave me this little respite from the rest of its catalog.
PS was stoked about the Joanna Newsom quote. She is, in my opinion, one of the all time greats.
ive been following you on and off for a good few years. i'm really, really glad you finally found the answer you needed. it's been painful, but fascinating and enlightening watching you care too much about the wrong thing. and that's most likely because i've lived through your experience before already (albeit mine was way shorter, though just as extreme).
i hope you find yourself loving life every single day sooner rather than later.
I'm going to be completley honest, this is one of the best videos i've ever seen, heard or experienced. It gives me the hint of "a perfect life is a life with many troubles, even though it doesn't seem like it" its truly beautiful to see how upside-down we think of what a good life seems like.
spot on !
I guess he wrote the thing he wanted to write after all that time.
Can you provide a too long didn't watch summary to what this video is about?
@@clouds-rb9xt sure !! So basically he talks about a time (10 years ago) when he experienced one of those sad but i don't know why moments. So he went imto nature to clear his mind becouse "he wasn't made for this world" but eventually he realises that the best part of trying to be alone in nature was a middle aged woman he met. Which means he wasn't really looking for being alone. The story is also about him thinking he can't write good things and being a mess (he writes some really good things). I understand you maybe don't have time to watch the video but if you get a chance PLEASE DO. I watched it 5 times
same
i feel like this video would have been my life, had i not become so sick as a teenager.. writing was my only passion, i wrote everyday from the time i was 10 until i was 17, hundreds upon thousands of words, i wrote for myself, i wrote collaboratively, i wrote on prompts and my own silly essays and poured my soul into stories. and i wanted nothing more than to write, and travel the country in a van. being a midwestern american i've been camping a lot, especially as a kid. the woods was always my home. the middle of nowhere, on my own, always felt right. it's hard for me to believe now i loved hiking.
but i got sick when i was a teen, with our best bet of it being ME/CFS or lupus. i was always in pain, i couldn't work at my job anymore, i couldn't move for more than a few hours without having the horrible experience of "crashing" and basically losing all function. sometimes doing too much would lock up my back for days or weeks. i couldn't think like i used to. i couldn't walk or eat or consume media like i used to. i couldn't read like i used to. and i couldn't write.
i cannot remember the most life-changing lines from books i've read, or even the plots, or the titles themselves. at the peak of my illness i couldn't read a book at all without splitting headaches or getting confused. when i can read, i get through a book four times slower than i used to, and i can never remember how we "got there" by the end of the book. i'd have to read it several times to stick.
huge portions of my vocabulary disappeared, and have never returned to me. i couldn't imagine, literally, like i used to. i used to have vivid scenes in my head i could pick details from and bring to life in my writing. i couldn't do that anymore, scenes were blurry and dark. when i tried to write it was nothing like it used to be; even my sentence structures were just wrong. i mixed up the tenses of phrases and the word form, i couldn't remember metaphors, or how to make a sentence sound good. i could never hope to actually structure a story. i couldn't dream up my lively characters anymore or the worlds they inhabited. it was absolutely devastating. i spent two years in my room, totally alone. any friends i hadn't lost among not being able to do anything, i certainly lost them when covid time came around. i experienced for the first time, and what i hope is the last, what true loneliness to the point of near insanity felt like.
and honestly, this reminds me a lot of your experience out on the trail. strangely enough, the isolation did an incredibly similar thing for me. despite still being horribly depressed, watching my peers complete college and go out and do the things i always dreamed of doing, i started to find solace in the little things. i remember going to get some fast food, just to see and talk to another person for a little bit. a day where i could play a video game for more than 30 minutes without becoming exhausted was a joy. when i had enough energy to go to our local park and just sit by the water, it was a damn good day. to hear the birds again, look at the leaves, and breathe. to cross a person and wave like i was normal. i reflected on my life and my past relationships a lot and i was able to appreciate them for what they were. i was able to appreciate People more than i ever had. it took a while to see my life as still valuable without all that stuff... but something about the isolating brought out a lot of introspection. it didn't solve anything. but it reframed things. it taught me to appreciate now, and to appreciate what health i had.
i'm not "better" by any means, but my case in less severe now. i will probably never be able to travel the country on my own, let alone live on my own, but i work a few days a week. i will be able to camp again one day, to take trips with friends. i read my first book all the way through since getting sick recently and it was wonderful (i never promised you a rose garden - joanne greenberg) and i can at the very least journal again. i hope more than anything that one day my writing skills will come back to me. when i was a kid i was really into long form roleplay; just writing collaboratively with others, throwing our little characters at each other and throwing back 400-1000 words at a time and building a story out of how they manage to interact. it's just, playing. sometimes i forget that. i've thought about trying my hand at that again, but being older now and still having shit writing quality, i worry how i'd look to similar-aged peers. but i hope when i can try to build my writing skills again, i'll remember that we're all just people who never gave up on playing. and i guess this comment is still proof i can still write some sort of essay, lmao
Your comment is lovely. I think you still got it ❤
For what it’s worth, I cried reading this comment. It was just as beautiful as the profound video it was in response to. 🤍
There’s still hope my friend and I see it already in this comment. Don’t give up ❤
thank you for sharing. Best of luck as you walk forward
"WOW"! JUST "WOW"!
"NO WORDS "!