Steven Seagal's Book | Chapo Trap House

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  • Опубліковано 1 лют 2022
  • buy our book: www.chapotraphouse.com/book
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    CLIP from Episode 171 - The Way of the Shadow Wolves (12/28/17)
    Image Credit, Press Service of the President of Russia
    commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/Fi...
    creativecommons.org/licenses/...
    #chapotraphouse #chapo

КОМЕНТАРІ • 114

  • @andyorenzo2449
    @andyorenzo2449 2 роки тому +192

    This book is dedicated to the Native American victims of Genocide…and the paramilitary settler Rangers who committed the worst atrocities against them

    • @carry-hunt9710
      @carry-hunt9710 2 роки тому +8

      Duhn-duhn

    • @kuroi_1153
      @kuroi_1153 Рік тому +2

      Womp womp

    • @bigburd875
      @bigburd875 7 місяців тому +6

      Litteraly the only group that managed to treat natives worse than the United States Cavalry

  • @Hubba404
    @Hubba404 Рік тому +43

    "Steven Seagal isn't fat, just tactically wide"

  • @BabyBowDingBall
    @BabyBowDingBall 2 роки тому +33

    RIP Virgil. We all miss hearing one sardonic comment every 35 minutes. Poor Felix had to increase his vape intake tenfold to fill the void

  • @treeguyfly
    @treeguyfly 2 роки тому +25

    I almost died of laughter the first time I heard the “some people, and many snakes” line, classic shit

  • @muskratrepairservices7701
    @muskratrepairservices7701 Рік тому +25

    Dedicating a book to both the rangers and Native Americans is just…. Oh, Steven. You’re such a card!

  • @ponchowizard5182
    @ponchowizard5182 2 роки тому +31

    Seagal's face is like the early ps2 era game graphics, where they figured out how to get the mouth to move but couldn't get the face textures to change expression.

  • @andresdiaz-kirk6316
    @andresdiaz-kirk6316 2 роки тому +20

    Holy fuck Seagal did a land acknowledgment

  • @Circuitssmith
    @Circuitssmith Рік тому +31

    Writing a book is really the next frontier for Seagal, because his self-insert character isn't held back by his meager stamina, limp wrists, and bloated gut like it would if he played them on film.

  • @christiananderson4909
    @christiananderson4909 2 роки тому +18

    Feel like I need a brandy and a cigar to listen to this properly.

  • @sappy441
    @sappy441 2 роки тому +28

    This won't be a popular comment but when Steven was filming Beyond the Law in NYC, he would always come into the Panera I was working at back then when I was in college, even if I was just making bread bowls, he always went out of his way to say good morning and ask how school was going just because I rang him up once.

    • @gspendlove
      @gspendlove Рік тому +1

      You wouldn't happen to be a hot, trashy woman, would you? Because that would explain that.

  • @ram_s_d27
    @ram_s_d27 2 роки тому +27

    'the highest level of Aikido is sitting down all the time' brilliant

  • @technologic21
    @technologic21 2 роки тому +20

    Cumtown reviewed the movies, Chapo reviewed the book. The circle is complete!

  • @GrayFlannelAds
    @GrayFlannelAds 2 роки тому +37

    The original Gravy SEAL

  • @joshosborne683
    @joshosborne683 2 роки тому +47

    Tactically wide

  • @olliegray7068
    @olliegray7068 9 місяців тому +13

    Did everyone else get the feeling John Gode wasn't just a self-insert, but genuinely how Steven sees himself when he looks in the mirror?

  • @mengao816
    @mengao816 2 роки тому +51

    100K you got your placket!

  • @princesssprinklesthecat4192
    @princesssprinklesthecat4192 2 роки тому +27

    Hes on Meal Team Six

  • @mrpink99
    @mrpink99 2 роки тому +15

    Steven Seagal looks like the South Park animators’ rendition of Seb Gorka

  • @jadlad9666
    @jadlad9666 3 місяці тому +7

    30% of this book's word count was the phrase "what if"

  • @UntoTheBreach24
    @UntoTheBreach24 2 роки тому +12

    I imagine this is what popular fiction is like in the Shadowrun universe

  • @SchmuckAmok
    @SchmuckAmok Рік тому +5

    Every time he said “WHAT IF…?” In Seagals raspy voice and the scary music, I lost it 😂😂

  • @Evan64m
    @Evan64m 2 роки тому +12

    33:25 Matt goes full joker out of nowhere

  • @sharkyanderson7930
    @sharkyanderson7930 2 роки тому +11

    Had to relisten to this after finishing the 3 pt dollop on Steven Seagal. Way funnier than I remembered.

  • @Smeghead1312
    @Smeghead1312 2 роки тому +18

    Man this was like an audio version of MST3K

  • @jgfjfgjfhjf
    @jgfjfgjfhjf Рік тому +8

    Steven "Labrador Flattener" Seagal, with a nickname like this, you know he's a dangerous man

  • @jj947
    @jj947 2 роки тому +9

    4:55 just bookmarking the best insult in history

    • @Baseballnfj
      @Baseballnfj 2 роки тому +4

      In this particular reading I really enjoyed Felix's "whenever I jack off I think... my grandfather did this."
      But tactically wide was pretty fucking good.

  • @botchamaniajeezus
    @botchamaniajeezus 2 роки тому +11

    begay is a common surname in indigenous naming schemes.

  • @Supadupanerd
    @Supadupanerd 2 роки тому +9

    I heard Virgil's voice and then immediately thought: HOW OLD IS THIS... and then checked the date from the corner of the video

    • @nickadt
      @nickadt 2 роки тому +17

      If only Virgil had checked how old something was...

    • @thepants1450
      @thepants1450 2 роки тому +5

      @@nickadt LMAO

    • @justcommenting4981
      @justcommenting4981 2 роки тому +1

      @@nickadt if only the internet checked receipts.

    • @RobHel
      @RobHel 2 роки тому

      @@nickadt you know, all of this is bull crap, right?

  • @TerrenceNowicki
    @TerrenceNowicki Рік тому +6

    When I first saw an ad for that reality show where Seagal was a cop or whatever I genuinely thought it was a parody starring WIll Sasso as his ersatz Seagal from MadTV.

  • @ZERO_O7X
    @ZERO_O7X 2 роки тому +6

    Steve Sea Gull, Operator, Ninji, Navy Seal Team Six Founder, Protector of the Third Realm, Billy Jack fanboy, and King of the Silver Screen. 🥋

  • @HuffdrewPaint
    @HuffdrewPaint 28 днів тому +7

    i bust on my stomach

  • @gspendlove
    @gspendlove Рік тому +9

    It's a shame they will probably never make this book into a movie.

  • @MarkSiefert
    @MarkSiefert 2 роки тому +8

    More suggestions for Segal’s titles: Celebrated Pants-Shitter! Undefeated Dog Murderer! Poonani Master!

  • @walexander8378
    @walexander8378 2 роки тому +25

    This book is dedicated to the Native Americans. Now, onto the foreword by a modern day Andrew Jackson.

  • @joelnicholson
    @joelnicholson 2 роки тому +21

    Johnny Be Goode, but Henry Be Gaye.

  • @ZGGuesswho
    @ZGGuesswho 2 роки тому +13

    some people...and many snakes

  • @SmittyDonutFactory
    @SmittyDonutFactory 2 роки тому +9

    Too much to hope for a “Pearson Fode is….John Goade,” universe. 😭😭😭😭

  • @trevfindley5704
    @trevfindley5704 2 місяці тому +2

    I can't be the only one listening to this thinking that the snake connection thing was inspired by Harry Potter? 😂

  • @vicaldama9314
    @vicaldama9314 2 роки тому +3

    We heard this...we need part two !

  • @matttriano
    @matttriano 7 місяців тому +4

    SIX YEARS AGO

  • @kiyote437
    @kiyote437 2 роки тому +5

    Damn, did Felix really reference *Bear Stearns Bravo*? That's a deep pull, even for him. Surprised to learn he's into ARGs. (It's at about 41:20)

  • @mathewidicula6425
    @mathewidicula6425 2 роки тому +7

    A warrior with of the waistline a septupled chin shogun if you will.

  • @johnday2971
    @johnday2971 2 роки тому +8

    8:14 Matt screaming "This is LaRouche!!!"

  • @Sneezes_LoL
    @Sneezes_LoL 2 роки тому +10

    What if reality was real

  • @sethherrington350
    @sethherrington350 Рік тому +5

    Begay is a common native name in Arizona

  • @bh-zj4yt
    @bh-zj4yt 2 роки тому +2

    😂😂😂😂 Best Chapo yet

  • @IhadToputAnameinHereSomewhere
    @IhadToputAnameinHereSomewhere 2 роки тому +5

    after hearing this i tell everybody within earshot that i now go by "dog flattener".

  • @princesssprinklesthecat4192
    @princesssprinklesthecat4192 2 роки тому +4

    So how do.you write a book in crayon? Is the whole book in all caps Comic Sans?

  • @DongerDayz
    @DongerDayz 2 роки тому +5

    MORE

  • @jonasuriel7936
    @jonasuriel7936 Рік тому +5

    For the algorithm

  • @mengao816
    @mengao816 2 роки тому +3

    100k!!!

  • @michaelclayton7932
    @michaelclayton7932 2 роки тому +1

    a true scholar warrior

  • @gentrelane
    @gentrelane 2 роки тому +6

    The music lol

  • @GS-zc4sk
    @GS-zc4sk Рік тому

    47min of pure Segal insight

  • @berdyderg900
    @berdyderg900 2 роки тому +11

    V*rgil

  • @Baseballnfj
    @Baseballnfj 2 роки тому +4

    John Gode... Goad is much stupider I'm surprised he didn't go with that.
    Honestly WTF? You're making up a name... you have infinite choices... and you settle with John "Nantan" Gode???

  • @rburk121
    @rburk121 2 роки тому +3

    😀

  • @mattwasmyname
    @mattwasmyname 2 роки тому +2

    Proper use of the term "woke" by will

  • @armykat123
    @armykat123 2 роки тому +3

    7:25 aren’t prefaces usually written by the author of the book?

    • @LKeet6
      @LKeet6 2 роки тому +2

      pretty rare in a novel, no?
      I think they're riffing on the fact he keeps saying it's fiction then keeps presenting it as non-fiction.

  • @Umkarz
    @Umkarz 2 роки тому +3

    please steven i'm scared for real dude

  • @CzolgoszWorkinMan
    @CzolgoszWorkinMan 2 роки тому +1

    join your local kiwi nanners club

  • @bougiitty
    @bougiitty 2 роки тому +1

    35:45

  • @sammckenney8163
    @sammckenney8163 Місяць тому

    Did they finish the book on Patreon?

  • @seanoconnor5713
    @seanoconnor5713 2 роки тому +17

    Its hard for me not tp be grateful for the lefts ability just to be conversatiobally funny. Could you imafine being on the right where even the comedy has to obey a certain codified level of structure - no wonder they commit rage vased crimes - even their relaxed time is fascist. When im in charge, the reeducation camps will start with mandatory listening to this episode.

    • @CNYKnifeNerd
      @CNYKnifeNerd Рік тому +7

      That's what it is for me, too.
      I get the racism, misogyny and religious extermism, but forming your entire existence around something that just fundamentally lacks all humor is a total mystery to me.

    • @Smokey298
      @Smokey298 Рік тому

      Have either of you guys ever even met a conservative?

    • @yareyarejose5080
      @yareyarejose5080 Рік тому +2

      @@Smokey298 yeah. the vast majority were unfunny.

  • @ComradeYinkai
    @ComradeYinkai 2 роки тому +1

    These guys sound like a bunch of danger folks!

  • @YuriSakazaki
    @YuriSakazaki 2 роки тому +7

    where is virgil texas

    • @RobHel
      @RobHel 2 роки тому

      I think he's on part 2 of their book review. This is an old episode, but why are you asking?

    • @YuriSakazaki
      @YuriSakazaki 2 роки тому +2

      @@RobHel i'm specifically referring to how he's completely disappeared from the face of the earth lmao

  • @tko3833
    @tko3833 2 роки тому +4

    Trump number 1